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"...in all timelines, in all possibilities, only you can show me this."
A universe of potentials flashed by in the oil-slickened galaxy of color around them. Timelines that could have been.
Jayce's hazel eyes brimmed with tears as he caught a flash, hand reaching out for one particular thread, wanting desperately to see more.
...
Viktor's frail frame flashed as he sat at his work bench, Hexcore sparking before him as he tinkered unsuccessfully with the glowing orb.
Jayce watched, leaning in the doorway to their lab, arms crossed over his chest.
Of course Viktor would be up working, even now after his prognosis. Retreating from the world in the darkness of the lab.
The sparks lit up his sharp nose, gaunt cheeks, body hunched over, until they went out, casting the room in near darkness save for the single dull lamp in the corner.
Viktor swiveled in his chair, pushing the goggles up on to his dishevelled hair and cocked a brow. "Shouldn't you be at your gala?"
Jayce dropped his arms, swinging them at his sides, a smirk playing on his lips. Of course Viktor had known he was there. "Soon. I thought I'd stop in before picking up Mel." He took a few steps in to the room. "Are you sure you don't want to come?"
He watched as Viktor's tired eyes took him in, from his combed back hair, down across the tailored suit he wore, to his polished shoes.
"I wasn't invited." He said bluntly, accent thicker, indicating his fatigue. He seemed weaker, more frail with each passing day.
There was a woefulness there, amidst his caramel gaze. There always was. Jayce would see it every time council business took precedence, every time he would leave the lab to be with Mel, every time he did anything Viktor felt he could not do because of the difficulties of his disposition. But now, now he shied further in to himself, almost as if putting distance between them, trying to make his final goodbye hurt less.
Jayce sighed, feeling a familiar tightness in his chest as he finished crossing the room, placing a hand on the armrest of Viktors chair and crouching down before him.
"Yes you were." He pressed his other hand to his chest. "I invited you." Viktor looked away as his own chest wheezed with a dry cough. "Come. Drink a little, dance a little. Just a little, and then I'll bring you back." Jayce flashed him a reassuring smile, knowing exactly the answer he would receive.
"I cannot drink. I cannot dance." Viktor said matter of factly, trying to mask the sadness beneath. He swivelled back to the desk, the armrest pulled out from under Jayce's hand. Conversation done. Matter settled.
Jayce hung his head for a moment, trying to reign in the argument on his lips, the same one they had had many times since Viktor's return from the hospital. Instead of trying to live his final days to their fullest, he was playing hermit in the lab, experimenting with the Hexcore.
Jayce let out a deep exhale of breath before he stood, turning toward the door.
He paused, hand on the frame, tilting his head towards Viktor. "You can do anything." He half whispered before walking away.
He heard the slight creak of the chair behind him as Viktor spun to watch him leave.
***
The melody of the orchestra trailed through the dancefloor, winding around swaying pairs.
It was a piece favored by Viktor.
Jayce watched the soft overhead lights of the ballroom twinkle on Mel's golden makeup as she smiled at him. The large hand on her waist held her closer as his lips pulled up in to smile that did not quite meet his eyes.
Viktor was everywhere, in everything. He was in each topic of conversation as Jayce imagined the blunt manner he would retort with his own opinions; he was in the food laid out on long buffet tables as Jayce spotted a few of his favorites, imagining Viktor's protestations were he to fill up a plate of food for him; he was in the crowd as Jayce had mistaken someone's cane for Viktors crutch, heart inexplicably leaping for a moment before crashing down at the realization that it was not Viktor; he was now in the music, the song circling him as he danced with Mel, a phantom partner fighting to replace the very real one before him.
He glanced to the glistening rune strapped to the wrist that held Mel's hand as they swayed around the dancefloor.
"You seem distracted?"
He focused his attention on her. He was. And not just tonight. For many days now.
It would be easy to tell her he was worrying about Viktor. Because it was a part of the truth. He had spent almost every day wrapped in the fear that he would step in to the lab and find Viktor dead, sprawled out amidst their tools and notebooks. His life suddenly extinguished before Jayce had had a chance to say goodbye.
It would also be easy to tell her that he felt guilty. That each time he left Viktor to participate in the lavish life of a chancellor he felt like he was breaking some deep soul bonding vow that he had never made. That he did not deserve the praise, the food and drink, the society, when his partner was back in their lab literally withering away. That he wanted to spend every moment until the end caring for him, to hell with his chancellorship.
What wasn't easy to tell her was this feeling, this blooming in his chest, ever since the prognosis. Not a new sensation, but rather as if it had been dormant, dormant the moment some strange man had talked him off a ledge, had told him he believed in him, had stretched out a slender hand to offer him back his rune. This awakening. This... confusion.
"Sorry I um, I'm not feeling very well I think." A lie then.
Mel's eyes looked straight through him, always too wise. She gave him a small smile, hand slipping off of his shoulder. "You should go then. Get some rest." She said softly, leaning up on her toes to give him a kiss on the cheek before stepping back.
The crowd swallowed her, guilt tugging at his gut. He should be here, present, with her.
Should be.
Perhaps who he should be, what he should be doing, where he should be going, all the should's , did not matter so much any more, not since the moment he found out that time was against him. Against them.
***
Viktor was almost exactly where he had left him, chair tucked in to the desk, torn notebook pages scattered around, dead plants littering the space.
He was trying so hard, racing the clock. But there was no cheating death.
Chin in his hand he looked up at Jayce's approach, lamp casting a soft orange hue in the shadowed lab.
"Politician's too boring?" His smile was weak as he brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes.
Jayce glanced at the bloodied handkerchief on the counter, then to Viktor, that feeling in his chest radiating through him, something akin to a dawning sun, heat filling his cheeks, tears pricking his eyes, adrenaline hitting his bloodstream.
"Something like that." He said, unable to mask his sadness as he came to lean against the counter next to Viktor, his beautiful golden eyes looking up at him with worry.
He did not deserve that emotion, not from Viktor, not now, not in these final days.
Viktor grabbed his crutch as if to stand, but Jayce held up his hand, stopping him.
He shouldn't be exerting himself.
"What is the matter, Jayce?"
Was he so obvious?
Jayce tilted his chin up, hands grasping the edge of the counter, fighting his tears. "I'm just, just worried about you."
He did not want to lose him. He couldn't. He did not even know who he was without Viktor, without his unfailing belief, without his ideas, without his support, without his care, without his quips, without his bluntness, without his laughs and smiles.
Jayce turned his back to Viktor, hiding his face as the first tear trailed down his cheek.
The chair behind him creaked, the crutch groaned before clacking against the stone floor. A soft, warm hand comfortingly touched his shoulder.
He wiped his eyes against the sleeve of his suit jacket, body flooding with emotion. He knew the effort it took Viktor to stand, to be up on his feet.
Jayce turned slowly, lashes wet, brows furrowed, confusing feelings and unspoken words dancing on the tip of his tongue.
What was this? This agonizing grief? This soaring euphoria? This need slowly coming in to focus?
Years. He had known Viktor for years. Why now? Why at the end?
Tears welled in the corner of his eyes, his voice rough, "I think I love you."
Viktor's worried countenance softened, a small smile tugging on his lips as he adjusted his stance leaning upon his crutch. "I love you too, Jayce."
Jayce sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. He didn't get it. "No, Viktor. I mean, I love you."
"No."
Jayce's eyes flashed open.
Grief twisted across Viktor’s expression, his sunlight eyes glistening, thick brows furrowed.
"No?"
Viktor's lips pressed in to a thin line, jaw tightening as his adams apple bobbed. "Do not do this, Jayce." Viktor sighed heavily, chest heaving.
His heart sank, rejection radiating through him like a lightning strike. "Do this? Viktor, do you understand what I am telling you?"
Viktor hung his head, accent thick, "I understand perfectly clear, Jayce. But I am asking you not to do this to us."
"Do what?" Jayce whispered. To us? To us.
"Open us up to heartache!" Viktor's voice broke as he stepped away from Jayce, leaning heavily upon his crutch. "I am dying.
Jayce's mouth fell open as the air left his lungs. He followed Viktor as he hobbled to the mirror at the far end of the room. "What are you saying right now? Do you feel the same way?"
There was a heavy pause as Viktor came to a stop before the mirror, tears streaking with the sad resolution in his eyes. Eyes that stared back at him as he came to stand half beside, half behind Viktor before the mirror, wanting so desperately to reach out, to touch him.
"Of course I do." Viktor admitted. “I have loved you from the first moment I met you."
All this time?
All this time Viktor had loved him?
Viktor loved him.
Jayce's heart leapt before it plummeted at Viktor's tone. It wasn't some happy admission. No. It was desperate, it was pleading, it was laced with sorrow.
It felt as if Viktor had been waiting years for this very confrontation. As if it was an inevitability. As if he knew that some day his feelings would be returned.
The salt of a tear hit his lips, "Then why didn't you ever say anything?"
Viktor swallowed, capturing and holding Jayce's gaze in the mirror. "Look at us, Jayce. Really look at us."
Jayce reluctantly pulled his eyes away from Viktors’, doing as he asked and taking them in. He knew what Viktor wanted, he knew he wanted him to see the contrast between them, strength and weakness, charisma and incapacity, light and dark. But all he saw before him was the man that inspired him, the man that uplifted him, that made him laugh and think, that contradicted and challenged him, that believed in him, that... that apparently loved him.
Jayce pressed his lips together in angry defiance of the point Viktor was trying to make.
Viktor scowled in frustration, aggravated heat flushing his pale cheeks. "Do you not see it! In what universe could I fit in to your world, could I ever keep up with you, could I ever be worthy..." his voice cracked, lips quivering as his chest rose and fell with deep breaths.
Jayce stepped around him, blocking the mirror, their bodies so close they were almost flushed. "In this universe Viktor... I... I am sorry I never knew that I... I'm only now..."
"I am broken!" Viktor cried, interrupting Jayce, bony fingers squeezing the handle on his crutch.
Jayce's face fell, the words striking him just as forcefully as the pain in Viktor’s voice, at the silent tears flowing freely.
He lifted his hands, taking Viktor’s face in his palms. Relishing the brief moment Viktor leaned in to his touch.
"You are not broken," he said earnestly. "Do you understand me? You are not broken. I have never, never, seen you as lesser than. You have always been, and always will be my equal. My partner."
Viktor's golden eyes widened before Jayce's lips crashed with his. He kissed him gently but needily, pouring every ounce of assurance, of affection, of need and want in to press of his lips. That feeling in his chest solidifying firmly in to love as Viktor kissed him back, the salt of their tears mixing with the taste of each other.
Viktor’s hand came to rest on his neck, thumb grazing his jaw, body pressing in to his. His lips just as urgent.
No. This was not a broken man. This was a man of passion and kindness. This was a smart man, a thoughtful man. This was a man who loved. How could he ever think he was broken.
He was never broken.
Viktor pulled away to catch his breath, leaning his forehead against Jayce's, their noses skimming each others’.
Jayce watched as he squeezed his eyes shut, "I am dying Jayce."
Jayce trailed his palms off of Viktor's cheek, wrapping around his torso, the other cupping the back of his neck. He nuzzled his nose, bringing his lips closer.
Viktor was right to be scared of this, this impending heartbreak. But Jayce could weather it, if Viktor would let him.
"I know." Jayce whispered against his lips. "And I know it will hurt so much more now. But I want to be there, with you, until the end."
***
Jayce watched their remaining days together. Friends. Partners. Lovers. Soulmates.
Viktor was never able to get the Hexcore to work, and a week from that night, he passed away peacefully curled up in Jayce's arms.
In his grief, Jayce had been the one to perfect the Hexcore, to herald the unified consciousness that ended their world.
Jayce remembered the night of the gala. But instead of returning to the lab, he'd stayed. He'd danced and drank and laughed, relishing in his own self importance, seeking his own pleasure with Mel while Viktor had unlocked the ability to use the Hexcore.
In his own timeline he had never told Viktor that he had loved him.
He had been a coward.
Viktor shoved him away, realization dawning on his face before he turned around, watercolored body heaving with heavy breaths.
Did he see it, amidst the flashing timelines, amidst the apocalypse that he himself heralded, amidst the chain of events meant to bring them together to this very moment, the timeline where they had confessed their love in their lab? Where they had kissed, held one another, made love, and relished in their remaining time with one another?
Yes, emotion had led to pain and destruction. But it also brought them together.
In that timeline and in this. Even though he had never had the courage to say it.
"You must go, Jayce."
Jayce reached out, gently laying his hand on Viktor's shoulder, just as he had done that night in their lab.
Viktor turned, dandelion eyes on the verge of tears. He wanted to tell him. Tell him once more that he loved him, but as the heavy silence hung between them the words never came.
So he would show him.
He had been there at the end once before, he could be there again.
An act of love.
Jayce reached for the rune embedded in his wrist, fingers grasping through his astral body, starlight twinkling around him. He took Viktor’s hand, holding it in his own as he lowered the rune in to his palm.
"We finish this together."
Rays of light sparked out of the rune, a cosmos of colors radiating up Viktor’s arm and through his body as he looked back at Jayce with understanding, white hair dancing from the force of the shockwaves coming off of the rune.
Runic symbols burst around them, blinding Jayce for a moment. The shockwaves intensified, colors colliding and mixing as their bodies strained against the force, as Viktor struggled.
He locked his hand overtop of Viktors' as the rune pulsed fiercely, the arcane melding and re-shaping itself, their bodies spinning.
His hand slipped off as a reverberation shook through the cosmos, but his grip once more found Viktors, determined to finish it together, to hold his hand at the very end, just as he had done in another timeline.
He hoped with every fiber of his being that here, in their final moments, Viktor knew. Knew what he could not say.
They locked eyes, rainbows of light raining down around them, and he reached out, cupping the back of Viktor's neck. Jayce pulled him closer, bringing his forehead to rest against Viktor's.
Together, at the very end.