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It is no secret to Yu that Geto has changed within the past year.
The change had been a slow, gradual process, stemming from that day when Geto and Gojo returned from their failed mission involving the Star Plasma Vessel.
Each day from then on, Geto talked less. Ate less. Slept less, if the dark bags that commonly hang under his eyes were of any indication. The eager glint in his sharp eyes dimmed like the weathering of a blade with time, and the passion that once oozed from his convictions have quieted into passive mumbles. Slowly but surely, Geto became a shell of his former self.
Everyone sees Geto wasting away, but no one tries to reach out to him.
It’s not like no one loves him. Everyone loves Geto! His persistent gloom, however, has given birth to an unapproachable aura that surrounds him wherever he goes, which makes interacting with him quite stifling, at times even for someone as personable as Yu. So strange, given that Yu has always found Geto to be the more approachable one between him and Gojo.
During rare respites between exorcizing and training, Haibara’s mind will wander to the physical and emotional decline of his senpai, contemplating on what could have been the catalyst. Could it truly have been the failed mission? From what Haibara heard from Yaga-sensei, the mission was a failure because the Star Plasma Vessel had died. That would make anyone with an ounce of humanity grieve.
If that’s the case, then why does it seem like Gojo moved on from that mission? From the failure that resulted in another’s demise? Why is Gojo thriving while Geto appears to be sinking deeper and deeper into his grief?
Then again, Geto could be upset about something entirely different, something no one knows about. Yu isn’t sure, but frankly, he doesn’t feel like he needs to know.
All he knows is that his senpai is hurting, and if he sees anyone in pain, he’ll find a way to lift them back up.
That is why Yu is practically skipping towards the male communal showers. He'd overheard from Yaga-sensei that Geto just returned from a mission in Hokkaido, and the first thing Geto does upon returning from a mission is shower. Yu only knows this because he's usually the first to greet Geto upon his return and definitely NOT because Yu stalks him. Once Yu catches Geto fresh out of the shower, he can initiate “Plan: Cheer up, Geto.”
How Yu intends to cheer Geto up... Well, he hasn't figured that much out yet. So, it's more of a concept than a plan, really. To be fair to himself, he's much better at doing than thinking. “Act first and everything else will fall in place” is a major element of how he lives and fights. This logic has never failed him. It shouldn't fail him today.
Thankfully, water is still clattering from the showers when he enters the communal area. He spots the vending machine and approaches it while rustling through his pocket for his wallet. Though the vending machine offers a limited range of drinks, he stares at the glass with a hard stare, indecision turning the gears in his brain as he considers the pros and cons of each drink.
It's hot out, so water will be the best for his health. Oh, but maybe he’ll like something sweet for his palate since he swallows cursed spirits. That has to be nasty. Or—
Suddenly a high-pitched screech cuts through his thoughts, then the clattering comes to an abrupt stop.
Yu frantically purchases two Coca Colas and throws himself onto one of the communal seats. As he waits, he swings his feet back and forth like an antsy child, a nervous habit his legs are far too long for, but he can't help himself. He's always happy to see his senpai, even if said senpai hasn't been in the best of moods or of health lately.
Speaking of health, he should have bought a calorie-rich snack for Geto. He could use it.
Though, it's too late for that. The door creaks open and out comes Geto, freshly dressed in a white tee and sweatpants that hang dangerously loose from his body. His eyes are glazed behind soppy, midnight locks, but within the gaps is a faraway look that fails to notice Yu's presence.
When Geto slowly drifts his attention to Yu, his wet eyelashes flutter and familiarity begins to flicker.
Before Geto has a chance to say anything, Yu shoots out of his seat and beams at him with a rich, delightful smile.
“Welcome back, Geto-senpai!” he exclaims, ignoring how his booming voice echoes throughout the small room. “I'm so glad you've returned safely from your mission!”
“Ah, Haibara,” Geto returns with significantly less enthusiasm, though the limp smile that drags across his lips carries a hint of personability.
Geto walks towards Yu, but freezes when Yu thrusts one of the Coca Cola cans into his chest.
“For you! You know, since you bought me a soda a while back, I thought I would return the favor!” Yu says.
Geto chuckles, taking the can. It's such a hollow sound now, devoid of any humor or joy. Completely unrecognizable from a year ago. “You’re too sweet, thank you. I'll have to find a way to pay you back.”
Yu shakes his head. “Nonsense! Just seeing you safe and well is enough for me!”
Geto hums, sounding a bit unsatisfied, but doesn’t say any more on the subject.
Pleased with himself, Yu plops back down into his seat and opens his can with a sizzling pop, hoping that Geto will take the hint.
It works. Geto takes a seat next to him and fiddles with his own can. Objective one of “Plan: Cheer up, Geto” completed!
Now, onto objective two: Get a conversation flowing and jump on any idea that may reveal itself.
Normally, starting a conversation comes naturally to Yu, as easy as breathing or scarfing down ten bowls of rice in one sitting. He’s the type to initiate conversations as opposed to waiting for others. However, Yu can’t deny that he’s unnerved by how Geto's gaze returns to being distant and lost; by the slow, languid motions of his hands as he dries his hair. There’s something fragile about his disposition, like he’s trying to hold fast to every thread of his being and all it takes is a sharp movement to make him crumble to pieces.
No matter! Yu has never backed down from a challenge and he sure as heck isn't going to start today.
“How was your mission, Geto-senpai?” Yu asks.
After taking a drink, Geto replies, “A little tiring, but it went smoothly, overall. I can't exactly complain when I end up adding a high-level cursed spirit to my arsenal.”
“I would expect nothing less from you!” Yu takes another swig. “Got any fun plans for unwinding for the weekend?”
Geto groans. “I'm not exactly sure. But whatever I do, it has to be indoors. This heat's starting to get unbearable.”
Yu laughs. That's funny, coming from a guy born and raised in the countryside. “I feel that. Well, what do you usually like doing on weekends?”
“Hm... Normally, I would tag along with Gojo on one of his whims, but he's occupied with an international mission,” Geto bemoans, his words wrapped in a warm blanket of wistfulness. “So, I guess I would spend the day reading, or watching a movie…”
Yu's ears perk up at the end. Movie. Now there's a great idea!
“Hey!” Yu exclaims, leaning into Geto's face. The sudden outburst, though not entirely unusual of him, still causes Geto to jump in his seat. “Why don't just the two of us see a movie tomorrow?”
Geto stares blankly at Yu. “Uh... What?”
But Yu is already on his phone, scrolling through movie showings of the nearest movie theater. Tomorrow is offering a wide range of genres—romance, horror, thriller, comedy. Yu isn't particular about the genre, so it would be best to let Geto choose.
“What kind of movies do you like?” Yu asks.
“Hold on, Haibara. Why are you asking me this all of a sudden?”
Haibara cocks his head. “Do I need a reason to ask a friend out?”
“Well, no…”
“Besides, you've been getting sent on more missions lately, right?”
Geto doesn’t respond. He doesn’t need to. The story of his long, arduous work schedule is painted in the shadows haunting his eyelids, in the weight that falls off his body, in the exhausted creak of his bones. It certainly doesn’t help that Geto has been designated with picking up the crumbs wreaked by cursed spirits, all the while Gojo is constantly sent on missions deemed more worthy of his time.
Yu coaxes Geto with a sympathetic smile. “You work so hard, Geto-senpai. You deserve to relax, let your hair down a bit. It'll be good for you. And don't worry about the tickets, I'll pay for them!”
Geto stops drying his hair. His arms drape over his knees and he stares at the ground, weariness slumping his shoulders like a heavy, invisible weight.
At that moment, something occurs to Yu. What if Geto is too worn out for a weekend outing?
Guilt clenching his heart, Yu tries to rectify the situation. “W–we don't have go to the movies if you don't want to—”
“Action.”
Yu pauses. “Huh?”
Geto lifts his head and looks at Haibara with a soft smile. “I like action movies.”
Yu teems with excitement as a pearly-white smile grows. “Then it's a date!”
***
It's 6:15 p.m. the next day when Yu pushes open the movie theater entrance with Geto by his side. The aroma that greets him is nostalgic—a pungent wave of salted butter and roasted popcorn. It has been WAY too long since he has visited a movie theater.
“Ah, this takes me back,” Yu hears Geto muse offhandedly to the side.
Yu turns to Geto. “What does?”
His senpai looks extra casual today, dressed in an oversized beige top, black cargo pants, and sandals. Compared to yesterday, Geto is a slightly less miserable version of himself. Wound up, but not enough for it to be easily noticeable.
Geto’s eyes wander around the theater, a tinge of nostalgia in the lining of his smile. “Being here. When Gojo and I were first years, we would frequent this theater every chance we got and watch anything that caught our interest.” He chuckles lightly. “Those were good times. I wish we could go back.”
A somber air falls between them. Yu feels his heart hurt for his senpai. Gojo and Geto were once inseparable, but now they are worlds apart from each other. The stronger Gojo becomes, the further Geto is left behind. It’s obvious he finds comfort in the memories they once shared, memories of an idyllic time, when none of them knew the weight of failure or grief. Yu can’t fathom how painful and lonesome that must feel.
Gojo is probably the only person who understands Geto, but he’s growing out of reach. What if Geto loses touch with Gojo forever…?
Yu shakes away those pessimistic thoughts. Why is he getting caught up in Geto’s sadness? The whole point of having this movie night was to cheer Geto up, and Yu can’t cheer anyone up if he’s not happy himself.
“Come on, the movie’s gonna start soon!” Yu claims one of Geto’s arms and drags him towards the concessions.
Geto nearly trips over himself. “H–Haibara, please, we’ve got plenty of time,” he tries to reason, but he’s only able to get a little out before he’s caught in a fit of amused laughter.
Yu purchases a tub of popcorn bigger than his head with a large soda and chocolate candy while Geto chooses a more conservative-sized popcorn carton and a water bottle. Afterwards, the two make their way to their designated room.
The auditorium is light with chatter as they enter and it immediately becomes apparent why. Even though it's the weekend, only a few groups of people are sprinkled throughout the seats. Some may like the atmosphere of a packed audience, but not so much Yu, especially today. The less people present means the more his and Geto’s movie night feels like their own special treat. And, as a bonus, they can sit wherever they want.
Yu and Geto walk to the back of the theater, finding perfect seats directly in the middle of the screen. Just as they sit down, the lights begin to dim.
The movie they had chosen was an action film called Don’t Look Back. It has a very simple premise: A former hitman chooses to abandon his bloodstained life after finding love and now entertains a simple life with his wife and two daughters. However, he is lured back into the bloody world when the criminal syndicate that previously hired him kills his wife and threatens to do the same to his daughters unless he helps them with one final mission. Wanting to protect his daughters, he accepts the syndicate’s conditions, doing their dirty work while seeking out a way to burn the world that has taken so much from him.
Right now, the movie has reached a point where the criminal syndicate has discovered the hitman’s treachery and retaliates by kidnapping his daughters in order to force his cooperation. As any father would do, he ravages the syndicate to get his daughters back, eventually reaching their holding cell after defeating the guards. Bloodied, beaten, and decorated in a landscape of cuts and bruises, he stumbles over to the holding cell. His daughters are only a key-twist away.
Yu is at the edge of his seat, anticipating the heartwarming reunion between a father and his children. The hitman opens the door and...
... What?!
Chained to the ground are the hitman’s daughters. Drenched in blood. Eyes cold, unseeing.
These aren’t his daughters. They’re corpses.
It's a good thing Yu remembers he's in a movie theater because if he were alone, he would have thrown his popcorn tub at the screen. All that killing, all those sacrifices made on his morality to protect his family, just to lose everything in the end. That's just... bananas!
A breath hitches near Yu, but he’s too captivated by the movie's unexpected twist to register his surroundings completely. It's only when the sound elevates to quiet sobbing that he breaks his trance, looking in the direction of the source.
To his surprise, he sees that Geto is hunched over, trembling and gasping into his hands.
Is he... crying?
The movie screen doesn't offer enough light to glean the emotional state of his friend, so Yu can't tell for sure if he's crying or not. Maybe Geto's just trying to stifle a laugh. It's not unusual for people to laugh when shocked, and the movie did take a surprising turn.
BUT, just to be sure, Yu taps Geto’s shoulder. “Geto-senpai...?”
Geto lowers his hands and Yu sees it in the dimly lit theater—streams of tears pouring from his puffy, reddened eyes.
“Geto-senpai, are you—”
“I'm fine,” Geto cuts in, wiping away his tears quickly. He averts his face from Yu. “It's just... I'm fine, really.”
Yu may be naive, often to a fault, but he’s still able to see what’s plainly in front of him. And he sees that Geto is anything but fine.
“Hold on, I've got a few napkins somewhere.” Yu fishes in the crevices of his seat in search of the napkins, but before he can find them, Geto rises sharply from his seat.
“It's okay. I–I'm going to find a bathroom,” Geto stutters. Then, he’s gone.
Yu stares at the empty seat next to him in confusion as the hitman wails for the loss of his daughters.
***
The movie’s sounds fade away as Yu follows the wall directions to the men's bathroom. He’d wanted to give Geto some privacy, but when fifteen minutes passed and Geto still hadn't returned, Yu started to get concerned.
Ah, who is Yu kidding? He has been concerned about Geto since he scurried from the theater, crying.
Geto is often praised for his emotional acuteness in comparison to Gojo, yet, he’s not particularly emotionally sensitive. So, Haibara can’t understand what would have pushed Geto to tears back in the theater, unless that sad movie scene was too much for Geto to handle. That seems to be the only sensible conclusion, though it’s not too satisfying. Something more must be at play.
Yu finally reaches the men’s bathroom. He eases the bathroom door open and pokes his head through the crack. Relief washes over him when he sees Geto at the sink, but his relief is quickly replaced with unease as he gets a proper look at Geto’s state.
His upper body is bent over the sink, a curtain of black hair concealing one side of his face as his head hangs low. He looks loose, unfurled, like the threads of his being he had been desperately holding onto have all fallen apart.
Instincts encourage Yu to run to his senpai, but there's something about Geto's disposition that suggests leaning towards caution. Not the “danger” type of caution that tickles his wariness when he feels a cursed spirit nearby; rather a “tread lightly” kind of caution.
Yu faces life obstacles the same way he faces cursed spirits—directly at the source, removing any chance for them to fester into a more malicious threat. Tip-toeing around obstacles gives them an opportunity to become something bigger than they ought to be.
However, emotions are not obstacles to be tackled head-on like paranormal entities. Emotions are delicate, deserving of tenderness and validation. Yu doesn’t consider himself a softy, but he knows how to be a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen to.
Just as Yu decides to make himself known, Geto suddenly calls out in a voice much drier than earlier, “I know you’re there, Haibara.”
Yu flinches. He thinks he had been pretty discreet. “How d’you know I was here?!”
Red-rimmed eyes meet Yu, a wobbly smile worn loose on his face. “Humans have this little thing called peripheral vision. Also, I can sense cursed energy. So can you. Remember?”
“Oh.” Yu chuckles sheepishly. Yeah, of course he knows that.
Tension easing up in the room, he walks in Geto’s direction. The stalls are open, noticeably empty. Good. It would have been weird if someone overheard them talking about cursed energy.
When Yu reaches Geto’s side, he says, “You didn't come back.”
“Yeah...” Geto turns away from Yu, facing the sink once again. “Sorry about that.”
“No need to apologize! Though, I never imagined you would cry over a movie scene.”
“I wasn't really crying because of the movie.” Geto pauses. “I mean, I guess it was because of that, but not exactly. How do I explain it…?”
Yu tilts his head, not understanding what Geto is trying to get at. After a couple more seconds of floundering for words, Geto eventually gives up with a heavy sigh. He sounds tired. Not the type of tiredness borne from overworking the body, but borne from somewhere deeper than the body.
For a while, only the bass reverberating from the nearby auditorium occupies their silence.
Suddenly, Geto's voice reemerges. “Hey, Haibara.”
Yu perks up. “Yes?”
Without looking at Yu, Geto begins in a tight, overly measured voice. “As Jujutsu sorcerers, we live to protect the weak... At least, that's the way I've always viewed my role. But, what if you suddenly learn that all of your efforts have resulted in the opposite of what you want to achieve? How can one find themselves after losing their way?”
Yu respects Geto for his thoughtfulness, but right now he doesn't understand where this moral conflict is coming from. And Yu doesn't understand why Geto’s asking him of all people. Though, if his senpai is seeking counsel from someone like him, it must mean he's desperate.
So, Yu answers as honestly as possible. “Well… If I discovered that my actions contradicted my ideals, I guess I would try again.”
Geto turns his head to face Yu, giving him a baffled expression. “Try again?”
“Um, yeah! Because in life, we’re gonna mess up eventually. Sometimes our mess-ups are little, sometimes they're pretty big. But no matter how big or small our mistakes are, life offers us a lot of chances to make up for them.”
“But,” a shadow eclipses over Geto’s face, darkening his features into something somber and shame-ridden, “what if instead of protecting the weak, you end up hurting them while protecting the evil?”
Yu blinks a few times and, oh, this whole moral conflict becomes a little clearer to him. Maybe, just maybe, the catalyst for Geto's tears had something to do with his failed mission from one year ago.
Did Geto have to face the deceased Star Plasma Vessel as the hitman faced his dead daughters? Did the weight of his failures crush his spirit the way it did for the hitman? Did he feel like all the effort he expended towards his deep-seated convictions were in vain?
Yu isn't sure. But again, he doesn't need to know the thought behind every word left unsaid, every reason behind a saddened look. That's not his business.
All he knows is that his senpai is hurting, and if he sees anyone in pain, he’ll find a way to lift them back up.
Resolutely, Yu declares, “Then the answer remains the same.”
Geto raises an eyebrow, but Yu returns it with a gentle smile. “You know, Geto-senpai, what I admire the most about you is how narrow-minded you are. You set yourself on a straight path and walk that path no matter how many obstacles are thrown in your way. But, even the greatest of us are bound to face an obstacle so large that it challenges everything we believe in. We may even fall off the path. When that time comes, all we can do is pick ourselves up and walk that path again."
Without thinking, Yu brushes away Geto's haggard bangs from his eyes. There, that's better. "Another day can be a new beginning, and failure can be the soil to breed future success. If you learn to forgive yourself and never let go of your ideals, you're sure to find yourself on the path you're meant to be on!”
Geto stares at Yu with an unreadable look, stirring worry in Yu. But then, for the first time in one year, a true smile forms and Geto erupts into laughter.
“Haibara, you may be the most simple-minded person on the face of this earth,” Geto says through his laughter, “And that’s what I find so admirable about you.”
Yu's eyes go wide. Admirable? Me? Geto-senpai really thinks I’m... admirable?
A warm flush sends Yu's cheeks aflame. “Th-that's really flattering Geto-senpai, but surely I didn't say anything worth much!”
Geto places a firm hand on his shoulder. A reflection of the senpai he knows and loves flickers behind the dark mask. “Those words are worth more than you know. Thank you, Haibara.”
Yu can feel the warmth on his face getting hotter. He fears his voice will betray his heart, so he quietly nods.
“Now, why don't we finish the movie?” Geto asks, removing his hand from Yu's shoulder. “I've missed enough of it as is.”
Yu bounces to Geto's side and links their arms together. Seeing that beautiful smile is worth dealing with the unexpected turn of events from their movie night.
Yu knows he can't rid Geto of his pain, but as long as he can help Geto smile through it, even just for a transient moment, he considers “Plan: Cheer up, Geto” a success.
“Don't worry, I'll catch you up on everything from when you left!”