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Part 6 of 100 Ways To Say I love You
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2016-02-23
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#10 - Sorry For Your Loss

Summary:

Scully comes back from her abduction but everyone is afraid she isn't going to make it.

Notes:

An alternate scene for when Mulder gives the strength of your beliefs speech.

Work Text:

The first thing he said when he walked into the room was,

“I'm sorry for your loss.”

He didn't say it in the way everyone else had, in that they were only superficially sorry and not truly understanding that she had indeed lost something, but in a way that implied that he shared her pain.

“Thank you, Fox. I'm glad you could be here,” Margaret Scully said, to the man that had sat next to her in the pew.

Her daughter had explained that Mulder was not in any way religious, but he had joined her in the chapel, and was now kneeling beside her, crossing himself and quietly whispering his prayers.

Maggie did not need to ruin the moment with words, knowing that his running to God was because he was truly at a loss for what to do. So she prayed with him. She prayed for Dana’s safety, for Fox to be strong, and for neither of them to lose faith that she would return.

When she went home later that night, Melissa was there, making dinner.

“Dana’s partner came by the chapel at the church today,” Maggie spoke, and Melissa looked over.

“Fox, right?”

“Yes, Fox. He's worried about your sister.”
“Is he cute?” Melissa asked in jest, but her mother warned,

“He's only got eyes for Dana.”

“How do you know that? You’ve only met him once.”

“I told you, he came with me to the chapel to pray. Dana told me that he was agnostic or something that implied that he believed in God but didn't care, and he was always teasing Dana about it. If someone like that showed up while you were missing to pray to a God they believed didn't care because they thought it had a chance to help, I would say that person cares, wouldn't you?”

“Loving and caring isn't the same thing,” Melissa said, serving her mother a plate of dinner and then putting her own plate down beside her.

“It isn't, but they often come hand in hand. I think you give him far too little credit. He dropped me off here, and was going to make me dinner. He doesn't even cook, Missy.”

“Yeah, well, I could use a man like that,” Melissa joked again, and Maggie smiled softly.

“I told you, he's only got eyes for Dana.”


Later on that night, the hospital called, while Maggie was in the living room, reading the bible. Melissa was sleeping on the couch.

“Hello?"

“Are you Margret Scully?”

“Yes, who's this?”

“This is Bethesda Naval hospital… Your daughter was just brought in, but I have to warn you—“

“Dana?! She's back? Oh thank heavens…”

“Yes, but I'm afraid that she's in a coma, and we don't know if she'll come out of it. We suggest you come down here to see what you want to do,” The voice on the phone said. Maggie thanked them and hung up, waking her daughter.

“Dana’s come back and she's in the hospital. Get your things, I want you to take me to go see her. I'm going to call Fox while you're getting ready.”

Melissa said nothing but went to get ready, as Maggie dialed Mulder’s number.

“Fox, it's me, Dana’s mother. The hospital just called and told me that Dana’s been admitted to Bethesda Naval. I know it's late, but—“

“I'll be right over. Do you want me to come pick you up?”

“No, I'll meet you there. My daughter is going to drive me.”

“Okay.” He said, before hanging up. When she was done with the call, Melissa was ready, waiting by the door.


The drive was not long; at 1 in the morning, the streets were mostly empty, and Maggie felt a chill when she thought about the words the nurse on the phone said--that Dana was in a coma.

“Do you think that God is going to wake her from her coma?” Melissa asked, without looking over at her mother. Maggie did not ask how her daughter knew; she knew that each of the women in her family were all gifted with some degree of the ability to see the future. Melissa’s sense of it was more pronounced, and Maggie herself had dreams from time to time, whereas she knew that Dana had hers but often ignored it, in favor of things concrete and assured.

“I know He will,” Maggie said and Melissa did not say anything else.

When they arrived at the hospital, they were escorted to where Dana was staying, and when Maggie saw her daughter, there was nothing but tears, at the sight of her. She moved to sit at her daughter’s bedside, lovingly brushing her hair out of her eyes. Melissa took her sister’s hand and held it, closing her eyes as if she was receiving a message.

“Mom, Dana tells me she is happy you came, and wants to know about… I guess Fox? She called him Mulder.”

“That's his last name. Dana says he hates it when she calls him Fox because he doesn't like the name.” Maggie said, stroking Dana’s arm gently.

The door opened behind them, and they both glanced over, expecting to see a doctor. Instead, Mulder stood, looking exhausted. He greeted everyone hello before taking his place by Melissa’s side. He glanced down at Scully, faintly aware of the gentle curves hidden by the thin sheet, although it was not done well.

“What time did she arrive?” His voice did little to hide the lack of sleep he had been getting.

“A little before 12:30, I called you as soon as I heard,” Maggie said, and Mulder nodded.

“You must be Fox,” Melissa said, putting down Dana’s hand and offering her own. Maggie watched as Mulder shook it, and then looked to her questioningly.

“I'm Melissa, Dana is my sister.” Melissa clarified.

“How do you do.” Mulder spoke, his tone guarded, almost. His eyes fell back on Scully.

“Dana tells me you don't trust easily.”

“She said that? She spoke?” Mulder asked, sounding hopeful, but not convinced.

“No, but I can sense it. We have this connection. I can't explain it, but… she's telling me that you didn't trust her much either at first, but you've since opened up to her. She appreciates it.” Melissa said, and Maggie could tell that Mulder didn't know what to make of it. He said nothing, but sat there with the women, waiting for a sign, like them that his partner would be okay.


The next couple of days were the hardest for Maggie, and yet Mulder came every single day. There was only one day he did not come, but he called. Four days after Dana had been brought into the hospital, the nurse approached her with a decision to make regarding Dana’s condition. Despite the fact that he was not family, Maggie waited for Mulder to come in before talking to the nurse.

“Is this her husband?” The nurse asked, and Mulder shook his head.

“No, I work with her.” He said, and before the nurse could ask him to leave, Maggie interceded with,

“It's okay, I'm her mother, and I want him to help me--they're very close.”

The nurse nodded, and spreading her hands over her lap nervously, she spoke quietly,
“We’re unsure that she will ever wake up, and so I just wanted to inform you that we’ll be taking her off life support soon.”

“There must me some mistake, Dana would never want that,” Maggie said, instinctively reaching out to hold Mulder’s hand. He held it and squeezed, his heart aching very suddenly as it became harder to swallow.

“No, I'm afraid that it says right here that she’s indicated that she would not like to be resuscitated if she ever ended up in a coma.”

“There has to be some mistake,” Maggie repeated, but Mulder slowly tightened his grip.

“It's no mistake… Scully—I mean, Dana had asked me to sign off as her witness. I'm really sorry Mrs. Scully…” Mulder spoke, and she reached out to hug him. He felt warm, and safe, and reminded her of how her husband was before he had died. It was no wonder Dana liked him so much. She could tell by his tone and his demeanor that he was genuinely upset and sorry.

“It's… It's alright…” Maggie finally said with a sigh, releasing Mulder.

“We can't give up yet, Mrs. Scully. Dana is a fighter, and I know she's going to be okay… I don't know how I know but I just do.” Mulder spoke. Maggie managed to smile at him, though she was sure he said that more for himself than for her.

“Generally people don't wake up from this sort of thing… and there's no telling how she will be when she wakes up. We don't have a clue what was done to her.” The nurse spoke, and Maggie stood, sensing the conversation was over. Mulder stood beside her, and threading his arm around her back, he escorted her back to Scully’s room.


It was later in the day when Melissa was due to show up. Maggie had expressed a desire to eat and not wanting to remain seated, elected to get lunch.

The cafeteria was bustling with people, mostly doctors and nurses, who were busy chattering away about things Maggie did not understand. Sitting alone at a table by the window, she began to eat, contemplating the way things were with her family.

Bill Jr., her eldest, had followed in the footsteps of his father, going on to work for the Navy.

Melissa had gone to school to study massage therapy and holistic medicine, and after getting into a huge fight with her and Bill Sr., she took off on her own, straying for a while, until she said she found inner peace and came back.

Charlie, her youngest had left the family years ago, refusing to conform to the tradition of adhering to the values and practices of the Roman Catholic Church. He argued about the contempt he had for the church, as well as for the blind sheep that tended to follow its beliefs. Many times, she had reached out to reconcile with him, but he had refused, and so they drifted further apart.

And then there was Dana, who played the part of the dutiful daughter for the most part; her father had wanted her to stay in medicine, but instead, she left for reasons she never disclosed (“probably because of a man, though, it's always like that” Maggie reasoned), and went to work for the FBI.
It was hard not for her to think of Dana as lost, when she lay in a coma, clinging to life, while the doctors said she wouldn't make it. She wanted to believe desperately that Dana would be okay, but the fact of the matter was that she had nothing but faith to go on.

Silently, Maggie collected her things and disposed of her trash, before heading back upstairs to check on Dana. She was going to enter when she heard Melissa and Fox arguing.

“Why can't you just tell her? It's obvious to anyone who even looks at you that you're in love with her. She needs you Fox…” Melissa said, adamantly.

“You don't know me, or anything about me, or my relationship with Dana! You can't tell me that and then offer no proof—how is she telling you that?”

“I'm her sister, I would know! She needs you! Do it for my mother…”

“She doesn't need me—I'm the reason she's in this mess.” Maggie heard Fox say.

“I'm done then. If you're not going to tell her anything, then leave—your energy is very negative,” Melissa said, and that's when Maggie stepped in.

“Melissa, I think you should go for a walk,” Maggie spoke. Melissa was about to protest, but the stern look her mother gave her made her reconsider.

“Okay,” Melissa said, stalking out of the room. Maggie entered into the room fully, to find Mulder sitting at Scully’s side and holding her hand. When he saw her mother enter, he dropped her hand quickly.

“It's okay, Fox. I've known for a while now.” Maggie spoke, and Mulder glanced away, embarrassed.

“I don't know what Melissa wants me to say.”

“She wants you to reassure Dana. I don't know, maybe let her know you're here, that you care…?” Maggie said softly, and Mulder gave her a pained look. With a soft sigh, Mulder reached out and gently brushed away a couple of locks of hair that had fallen into Scully’s face. He was very conscious of her body, the way her chest rose and fell, the way the bags under her eyes showed how tired she was…

“Scully, it's me, Mulder,” He spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. There was no response, but he continued anyway. “I'm here again. So is your mother. Your sister came too, but she took a walk. I don't know if you can tell but… you're off life support now and… I just thought I would--I thought I would say goodbye.”

Sensing that Mulder had more to say, Maggie stepped out of the room and lingered by the door, just out of sight.

“At first, you were the biggest pain in my ass, but after all the time we’ve spent together, I've realized that you've changed me, and for the better. I can never thank you enough for that. The office… The FBI—hell, my life won't be the same without you. Scully, up until this point, I didn't believe—”

Maggie heard his voice falter, and there was the threat of tears because even without saying it, she knew what Mulder was trying to say.

“I didn't believe that love was something that really existed. That selfless kind of love I see in your mother… I didn't think I would be able to feel that but… You came in out of nowhere, and suddenly, I find myself wanting to be the person to make you happy. You've made this job something I could enjoy again, and life doesn't seem as lonely. I'm begging you… If you can hear me somehow, please… don't leave me. I don't care if you don't feel the same about me—I wouldn't blame you—but please hang in there for me and your family…”

There was a period of silence, and then a small noise, like a sniffle, and Maggie knew that Mulder was crying. Her heart ached. She wondered if Dana had any idea how much he cared about her.

Finally, when he was ready, he stepped outside of the room and glanced over at Maggie. He gave her a small, sad smile, and she followed him back into the room.

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