Chapter Text
“Do you seriously think he’s doing okay? Did we witness the same scene or are you drunker than I am?” Hissed Lucy.
“He seemed perfectly content walking away with whoever the fuck that was.” Retorted Buck through gritted teeth.
Granted, his vision was blurry and it was too hot in the bar. It was all too much. The music was too loud and he’d definitely drunk a little more than he’d planned. Maybe a lot more. Eddie was moving next week. Eddie who was facedown back at the booth, probably falling asleep with his pitcher of beer half drained by now.
Tommy was dancing all over the tall blonde guy. Tommy left with the random blonde guy. Tommy wasn’t his anymore. Hadn’t been for nearly three months now.
It had been a bad call, the perfect end to an already shitty week. Buck was wired and on edge, Eddie thought It’d be a good idea to go out. Now, he’d run into Tommy, Lucy and the blonde at the popular first responders bar after shift, not under the best of circumstances, but what difference did it make. Tommy was visibly drunk, stumbling out of the bar with the blonde holding him up, laughing on the way out the door. Probably didn’t even notice Buck glaring the whole time, nauseous and pissed off.
Lucy had come up to him then, and their argument had sprung out of nowhere.
“That was my brother. A total riot, but very straight. I saw you staring. Not subtle, Buckley.”
“Should’ve left with them then, or what? You planning on coming on to me, again?” That came out sharper than necessary, he and Lucy were cool right? At least they had been up until three months ago.
Lucy stared daggers into his eyes.
“Go fuck yourself, honestly. You of all people should know what it’s like. You have Eddie. I have him . I’m always going to look after him, and for the record I think you’re both idiots. He’s hurting. Bad. I know he was the one to pull the plug. I know he fucked up. But you don’t get to judge him, okay? That’s my job. If he wants to get drunk and blow off steam, he can. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here either right?”
“Why are you still here? If you care so much why not go with him. I don’t understand why you’re still talking to me.”
“I’m here with someone, so if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to her.”
Lucy turned the corner, making her way towards the back of the bar, away from Buck. Away from the answers he was desperate for.
“Wait .” He said as he made a grab for her arm. “Wait, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way. Just… please. What do you mean he’s not doing okay?“
Lucy rolled her eyes as she yanked her arm out of Buck’s grip.
“What’s it to you?”
“Seriously, Lucy? He broke up with me , remember? He walked away, he gave me nothing but a bullshit excuse and you’re telling me he’s the one going through it? That’s not fair. I didn’t do anything wrong!”
“You didn’t do anything wrong? Come on Buck, get real. You asked him to move in with you!” Scoffed Lucy.
Buck cocked his head to the side. So? Didn’t realize that was a breakupable offense. He thought to himself defensively. And why did everyone keep bringing that up? Sure, he’d asked Taylor to move in with him after screwing things up and with Lucy of all people, and sure, it had been an overcorrection then. This time though, it hadn’t been that. This time had been different. Buck thought he and Tommy had something… something special. So why did he run? It still made no sense, no matter how many nights he’d stayed up trying to understand it.
“He could’ve just said no, or not yet. I didn’t realize asking my boyfriend to move in with me would make him dump me.”
“Dude, he owns his home. That means something to him, and you expected him to what? Drop everything and move into your downtown apartment? He hates downtown, he’s always bitching about-”
“Parking.” They blurted in tandem.
Buck almost mustered a smile.
There, some levity. Buck could work with that.
“Listen, okay yes. Maybe he’s not the only one at fault for… what happened that night. I can take some accountability, but he won’t talk to me. He hasn’t even picked up any of his things from my place. I know he’s tried to text me, I’ve seen it, but he won’t say anything, and no one’s seen him around. It’s like he disappeared.”
“I’m not surprised. I’ve seen this show before, but never to this degree. He’s not eating, he’s been having nightmares again. I hear him at the bunks. He’s been picking up shifts like it’s going out of style, isolating himself, trying to shut me out.”
“He’s punishing himself.” Buck muttered his realization softly, but Lucy’s nod let him know she’d heard it loud and clear.
“Look, I don’t want to cross a line. It should be between you two, but he’s important to me, and I think you were more important to him than he let on.” Muttered Lucy, her eyes a little softer now.
“If I… If I reach out, do you think he’ll respond? I can’t let another month go by without answers.”
Lucy sighed.
“I don’t know, Buck. I question all of his choices these days, but if you want to spare me the drama fest? Please, just call him and put us all out of our misery.”
Lucy truly walked off then, and Buck could only stare as she disappeared around the corner. He walked back to his booth to collect Eddie before hauling both their asses into an Uber, and shoving his phone deep in his pocket before his itching fingers typed something he couldn’t unsend.