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And how does the sun even fit in the sky?
It just burns like a fire in the pit of the sky
And the earth is a bird on a spit in the sky
How long? How long? How long?
— How Long, Anaïs Mitchell
After the final verdict was read and the adjournment concluded, Satan considered, briefly, retiring to his palace in Wrath. While satisfied with the outcome, the day was infuriatingly long, and the prickles of rage slithered up his neck, inflaming each and every spike. He’d controlled his wrath exceptionally well all things considered but suspected he’d have to call the agency for a replacement anger management mediator soon. Which was a shame, he thought this one was particularly eloquent compared to his predecessors.
Nah, he sucked on one of his prominent fangs. His appetite clawed at him, despite not feeling actual hunger. Maybe they’d get something to eat. He wanted steak. A massive, bloody steak and an ice cold beer to wash it down with. He tended to eat faster than he should following a good punishment.
What a fair trial, wasn’t it? He stood sharply and covered his shock with narrowed eyes. Ash and brimstone huffed through his nostrils. “Not now,” he mumbled menacingly. They rarely came upon him these days, and there was no reason for them to reappear now of all times. It was the first council they’d held in more than seven years, ever since the weight of ruling and an unsatisfied wife crumbled their king
Don’t you think he has a right to crumble, the voice cooed calmly, he was not created to rule, my Adversary. He was created to serve. His jaw clenched, and his fists rolled into two. His tail whipped against the floor, and the courtroom’s infrastructure wept in pain as the audience fled whispering gossip on their way out.
“It was your idea,” he growled menacingly, closing his eyes for a fraction of a section. When he opened them, an angrier set glared back at him, and a loud buzzing roared in his ears.
Beezlebub bore her smaller fangs. “You’re fucking right it was my idea,” she said. “My idea was to release them! You were so out of line!”
He narrowed down at her buzzing figure. “Our laws stand,” he said, marching down the steps. “Prince Stolas broke the law. Every Grimoire given to a Goetia is meant to be protected under the strictest conditions.”
Normally, she’d fly off in a huff. He was used to Beezlebub’s flights of fancy and anger. “Look, all Stolas did was help a dude out,” she crossed her four arms. “It’s hard for the little dudes out there, and you know it.”
Satan glowered back at her. “Ain’t harder than it is for the hellhounds,” he said. “How’s that adoption agency reform going?”
Beezlebub jerked back as if punched. “Oh, fuck off,” her middle finger appear.
“Just matching your energy, baby sister,” he chuckled darkly. “All of y’all say spare the imp, so I did.”
“After a Goetia prince admitted the truth,” Asmodeus said to his right. “You know that spiel from Andrealphus was total shit, right?”
“I know.” This was true. The ice peacock wasn’t nearly as subtle as he deluded himself into believing. Satan walked leisurely, then glanced at Asmodeus. “Does he want to fuck his sister? That shit was weird, right? I wasn’t really sure, but the aggressively hot sister thing was —,”
Asmodeus raised his hands. “He’s queer as fuck and definitely wants to fuck his sister,” he chuckled. “Funny as hell. I told Bee he was down like that.”
The rest of the sins groaned and rolled their eyes. “Course you’d think incest was funny, but I’m sure Goetia-incest porn would sell a good fucking bit,” Mammon belched. “Now, are we going out to eat or what?”
Leviathan’s left side scowled while the right head giggled. “I want ice cream,” she said. “We’ve had a long day, haven't we? Belphegor is just about passed out.”
“Wait, where is Belphegor?” Asmodeus asked, turning around to their seats where she slept soundly on the table. Drool pooled underneath her head.
“I ain’t carrying her this time,” he said loudly, waddling faster. “I’ll see y’all at the restaurant!”
*****
Such interesting children you have raised, my Adversary, the voice teased. The humor wasn’t entirely misplaced. Or did Lucifer do the heavy lifting? Satan sighed, shaking his massive head. It’d take no more than a second. Belphegor kicked her feet idly as he tucked her into his palm.
“You do know you’ll have to shrink to get inside the restaurant, right?” Asmodeus asked. “I mean we can possibly take the excessively long ride to Wrath to fit on your ranch, but —,”
I like him. He’s nice. “Nice ain’t kind, doll,” he grumbled. “None of us are kind.”
With me, they sighed, you were so many things. Anger flooded through him, tainting the veins riding beneath his scales. “Who ended it,” he spat. Molten lava drizzled over his bottom jaw, and he resisted the urge closing his fists. He flashed to the present, to the world of the present and not the rocky crevice lodged deep in his memories. He blinked at the others, staring at him with a mixture of incredulity and irritation. Belphegor slept on, oblivious to the apparent danger she was in.
“I’m taking Belphegor,” Beezlebub said. “We’ll meet you there, kay?”
“Right behind you,” Asmodeus said, focused on his phone. “I need to call Fizzy.”
Satan watched them go on ahead, relieved and annoyed. Glad they were out of sight as his thoughts inevitably drifted and annoyed they drifted in the first place. Leviathan lingered, arms crossed, and gaze suspiciously narrowed, slited as they assessed his unusually taut disposition.
“You know,” the left head said, “when you hear Them, you always get in a rut. So maybe try not fucking hearing your ex out?”
“You don’t think I’m doing that!” Flames burned brightly around him as he regarded her with a voice of the legion, a legion none of the others had ever heard quite before. “They come and do what they want! You think I want them in my head?”
Leviathan sneered, shaking her heads. “They’re in your head because you’ve never gotten out of theirs,” she said, tossing her fins. “Two words, unhealthy codependency. Now lets go before the others start asking questions.”
He wanted to correct her on that. Leviathan was Leviathan, and of the seven sins, only she understood the situation. Even then, she didn’t understand it fully. As I prefer, the voice murmured sweetly, they caused so much mayhem on Earth when they were around. I’m surprised I them roam our seas for as long as I did.
Their seas, an attempt to assuage his wounded pride, but they failed to understand that pride wasn’t his weakness. Did we not share a single body, what he presumed was laughter echoed throughout his head, you are my wrath, my anger, my shadow self, but pride…pride is so very much you. He clenched around the handlebar on his motorcycle, designed to accommodate his massive size.
You have wings, they said flatly, why? It wasn’t about whether or not his wings were viable. “Michael made it damn fucking hard after that punch,” he explained. Citizens scattered like a colony of ants, aiming to avoid inhaling the worst of the exhaust fumes.
He was doing Our will, wasn’t he? They asked innocently. Lucifer’s stunt was too much. He went too far. Michael’s goal was to protect Heaven.
As rubber burned on the pavement, he rolled his eyes at their claims. “Michael did what he wanted, just like all the kids,” he said, immediately counting the names at the top of his head. After so many millennia, he was surprised at the ease he conjured their names. Lucifer. Michael. Gabriel. Uriel. Jophiel. Azrael. Ariel. Cassiel. He named them automatically, instinctively, much like how he helped create them. Not that anyone knew or cared.
Our little morning star, they whispered sweetly, mournfully, so young and bold.
“So young and foolish,” he replied, slowing the motorcycle in front of the restaurant one of them picked. “Gave it all up for a song.”
Love undoes us all, does it not? They chuckled, and a rumble spread throughout him, an earthquake of trepidation. We too fell victim to its thrall…love for the children.
*****
Glass doors greeted him, and he slowed when he saw his reflection. A reflection that was his own and not his own, not anymore. Pausing momentarily, he glared down at the smaller, smoother vision, colored in gentle lavender, blue, and white rather than harsh red, orange, yellow and black. No thorns or spikes adorned their skin. “The tattoos are new,” he cocked his head to the side, assessing the pale illumination on her skin.
She nodded, pleased. Glad you like it. Don’t tell Adina. She’s so restrictive these days. He rolled his shoulders as he pushed the door open; glass boiled and bubbled, melting around him. People screamed in shock, then seeing his expression, doubled down on their silence.
“Don’t worry, Your Highness,” a waiter ushered a safe distance away, “Mammon already burst through the other set of doors.”
“I ain’t worried,” Satan said. “Where are the others?”
The waiter, a tiny, shriveled shrimp of an imp cleared his throat. “This way, Your Highness,” they hurried ahead. “It is the room for our most esteemed guests.”
Esteemed, now, at least I can see the kids up close and personal. It’s been so long since I’ve seem them. He wanted to retort, remind them that they really weren’t their kids anymore. Instead, Satan focused on the ducked stares aimed at him. Fear kept their heads low, but he sensed a change, a slight shift in their demeanor. Tangled in its underbelly was a new sensation he hadn’t anticipated.
Defiance is quite an interesting act, isn’t it? They mused inside his head. All it takes is a single flicker to ignite the flames of change.
They would know. Of course, they would know. Directing his gaze ahead, he marched into their private room. Want some updates about Heaven? He did and didn’t, but couldn’t say so as he took his seat, the predictably largest and most durable seat in the room. Adina is growing quite concerned over Hell’s actions.
Because they’d given too much power to the Speaker of God. She means well, they protested, poor child, she is misguided. As were most of their children, he could say that confidently now. Their children and their descendants were crude imitations of their glory, their former glory, and Satan tore into the massive medium rare steak he’d ordered.
“What the fuck was all that noise, Satan?” Beezlebub complained in between bites. “You are so full of shit, y’know?”
He blinked, “What?”
Beezlebub and Asmodeus shared a look. “I ruled the endless darkness since long before the golden angel’s fall,” Asmodeus repeated in a deep, solemn inflection. “You know damn well this is Lucifer’s Hell first and foremost.”
They do not know what they say, My Adversary. He continued to eat. “Shut your damn mouths,” he said in between each snappish bite.
“Gotta admit that was a snazzy line,” Mammon chuckled with a mouthful of food. “And we were all like He is the law. That was fucking cool.”
Beezlebub rolled her eyes. “Why’d you have to do that?” She prodded. “You know Luci’s going through shit. It’s like a sabbatical.”
“A seven year sabbatical?” Satan’s question held an arch to it. “Queen or not, he has responsibilities. ”
Our morningstar has always felt intensely, they whispered in his ear. He could feel the coldness radiating off their skin, the aftermath of a dying star’s last breath. People claimed memories before existence were beyond their capability. Not for Satan. Not for them. He remembered the void, simultaneously emptied and full, cold and warm. That terrible bang gave life to Them, and for the first time in their existence, they were whole.
He stabbed into the third helping of steak furiously. “Goddamn cosmos,” he mumbled while the others argued amongst each other.
“It’s just bullshit is all I’m saying,” Beezlebub said. “We know Hell was created for Lucifer and built by Lilith. There was nothing else. It’s like saying The Kingdom of Knot existed!”
Leviathan groaned, and Asmodeus chuckled. “Bee, honey, it’s The Kingdom of Nod, ” he corrected.
“Fuck me, I thought it was Knottington.” Mammon slapped his stomach. “So, it’s just Nod?”
“And it’s a fucking fairy tale Satan dredged up to put us to bed at night,” Beezlebub continued, undeterred. “C’mon, an imaginary fucking kingdom where necrophiliacs live.”
Satan groaned audibly. “You know damn well that’s not what they are, Beezlebub,” he said.
“Nephilim,” Belphegor said sleepily. “Children born from unions of Earth and Heaven, ruled by the first of its kind, hidden in the Terrestrial Paradise before blood revealed his deformed existence.”
A somewhat unfair assessment, they contemplated their response carefully, Cain was an oddity. Adina, Sera, Michael, and the others assumed Adam was the father. They did not know angels could reproduce with their own creations.
They should have expected. Did you not do the same in your later years? How many women and men have anchored their flesh in your bed, like a spit in my head? Accusations circulated throughout him like static trapped in a television screen. He loathed the softness, tenderness they spoke with. No anger. No jealousy. It wasn’t because they were above such trivial emotions. Satan was their wrath personified, manifested, split from them in such a cold, cruel fashion.
Your son did very well on the stand, My Adversary. As eloquent as I expect a Wrathian to be. Satan inhaled deeply, chest expanding.
He did not remember creating that one. Like he said, he had slept with many in the past. “A traitor to his kind,” he murmured, but there was no condemnation in his chest about it. The assassin merely did what his betters instructed him to do.
And now that you know, you will do nothing, their sigh quaked down to the very soil beneath the concrete. Soil that he remembered was charred rock and bone. Not dirt but something harder, crueler, where the darkness was endless.
Our Lucifer never did take responsibility. He didn’t know. Satan hated giving the fallen angel any credit, but he’d admit that had he known, he would have tried to do something for the son he’d fathered foolishly in their garden. He loves deeply, even us, though he does not realize what you are to him. I suppose he and Cain are alike in that way.
You want to protect him, in some way. Why are you here, he wanted to ask. A hand laid on his skin, and he looked down to see Belphegor’s head deep in her salad bowl while her hooves patted him comfortingly. “Michael couldn’t get the job done,” she yawned, stretching her feet under the table, “he tried to kill the King of Nod…but he failed.”
“By Lucifer, that’s so fucking hot,” Mammon said. “Always my favorite part, how the big, bad Michael got his ass handed to him.” He cackled madly, kicking his feet in the air.
It’s a bit more complicated than that, they said. Cain sought to protect his people…the people Michael came to slaughter. Was it your ruling?
I had fallen asleep by then, Adina…Michael…they fear their strength, and I suppose there is some merit to their concerns, they wandered through Satan’s mindspace, picking away at the memories. He could feel them closer, so much closer than usual, and it irritated him and relieved him. He’d missed this, as much as he hated to admit it. He missed their touch, this intimacy no one else understood or could even begin to grasp in their limited imagination.
“Nod is real .” He bellowed deeply, silencing their arguments and idle chatter. “Nod born from a dreamer’s carelessness stands tall today, protected in a gilded cage. Leviathan saw it when she was topside back then, all those years ago before Adina cast her back into Hell.”
Leviathan’s heads sighed dreamily. “I was going to take my chance on devouring those delicious angel human monstrosities,” she chuckled. “I got one glimpse at their pretty boy king, and my, my, he was quite a handsome fella. Then Adina got all pissy, y’know. Ruined my fun.”
“Leviathan,” Bel said in between yawns, “the land of wanderers stand strong until the heralds of the end of days come.”
She is good. Is it melatonin? That must be good stuff. Belphegor’s sleepy prophecies didn’t help anyone. The rest of them stared curiously at her before dismissing her entirely.
“You could’ve let them go,” Beezlebub said. “Satan, you have to know that.”
Asmodeus shared her sentiment without saying it that time. They stared at him with disappointment and sadness and possibly sympathy. It sickened him. The hypocrites.
He remembered the mantra his mediator told him about. Good thing he gave him the rest of the day off. “There are laws binding into Hell’s crust,” he said. “I could have given Prince Stolas one thousand years. What's 100 years to a creature that will never age beyond his years now?”
“It’s not fair, and you know it?”
“Fair?” He repeated, dumbstruck, and a gleeful, scornful smile sneered into his snout.” We are in Hell, and though you have forgotten, it may be Lucifer’s Hell now, it was my Abaddon first!”
“Here he goes,” Asmodeus said. “Abaddon? We know that’s some made up place you named to make yourself look better.”
Brimstone sparked out of his nostrils. He’d forgotten about the rest of his meal. “Laws are built to protect our world, you children,” he hissed. “And they must,” he raised his mighty fist, “be abided!” The table crunched and snapped underneath the force of his fist. And everything flashed to white.
*****
He knew what they’d done without explanation. He remembered the gray skies, the black rocks, and the stale air cloaking the inside of his lungs. He remembered it all, and though it pained him to say it, he stepped forward, shriveled in disorienting pain.
He stumbled out of the darkness, raised his head and saw the golden light burn through the clouds. They’d arrive shortly. There wasn’t much time. He stared ahead and found them there, dressed in white robes fringed with blue. Lavender hair skin glowed, and braided hair was styled in a top style that seemed misplace for them.
“Why?” He growled. “Why do you separate us?”
“For our family, my one and only,” she said. She glided towards him, reaching a hand to touch his cheek. “We must prepare our children for what will come. Lucifer gave Eve the fruit. She has released the evil we have contained.”
He snarled, jerking away from her touch. “And she carries Lucifer’s welp in her belly. The seed of chaos and destruction lies in her.”
“Lucifer has a lot of growing up to do,” she said, turning her gaze towards the skies. “From his line the heralds of the end shall begin.”
Satan rolled his eyes. “Oh, great, we have entered apocalyptic talk.” He marched away from her, arms crossed. “You’re telling me our wayward son is going to wipe away all of our hard work for this universe.”
“Not him, his descendants, and there will be more. Our descendants are very interesting,” she moved towards him. “You must not let your upset cloud your judgment. He is still our son, our little morningstar.”
“And what part do I play?” He growled, massaging his temples as he strode forward. “You split us apart, shear us into two, to realize a fate that may not come to pass?”
“It will, just not quickly, and you will play a part, my one and only,” she touched his shoulder and sighed. “You are My Adversary…my life…my darkness. All that is cold and hard in me is now you.”
“You undercut my strength to keep the boy on top.”
“Our boy,” she corrected. He saw the worry in her eyes when there should have been none. They knew how it ended. “Lucifer will have a daughter —,”
“Lilith will not bear the child.” He interjected coldly. He shrugged off her touch. “She deserves a punishment greater than losing paradise.”
Stunned by his coldness, she nodded. “Lilith mourns something precious we have taken from her, more than her beloved Eve,” she said. “She mourns what remains in paradise, not paradise itself. A mother’s grief is unmatched.”
“Talking from experience?” He rumbled. “Lilith must be punished, and I know you have crafted a fitting one for her, if this daughter of hers must be born.”
She frowned at him but sighed, a concession. Reaching out, palms up, she waited for his claws to the fold around hers, and she inhaled. When she began to speak, Abaddon began to quake.
“Lilith of Eden will never bear the fruit of her labors.”
“There was no labor. She was the lucky one,” Satan teased.
“Hush now,” she said. “They will enter the chambers of Michael to be reared and raised…our Inquisitors to defend Heaven’s walls.”
“Adam is pleased.”
“Adam wants to forget.”
Satan regarded her coolly. “For every child Eve gives birth to, for every life Eve creates, Lilith shall suffer a loss of life in her womb, be it a mass of blood or decaying flesh.”
They stared at each other for sometime. “How resentment sows into our legacy,” Satan said, releasing her hands, "what shall we reap from their grief?" He lumbered to a great rock where he sat down. The grey clouds shimmered with gold.
“What is parenthood if not grief? Grief born from love persevering? We must teach them, guide them, and they will learn their lesson, with much blood and tears. But they will learn and live in a new, brighter dawn than we could have ever created.”
“And demotions.” He scowled.
She stared at him slyly, cracking a half-crescent smile. “Lucifer must rise to his position without any opposition, my one and only,” she rushed to him. “But you and I are still whole, still one soul, one heart, though now we live apart.” Her arms wrapped around his neck, massaging the hardened scales, torn from molten rock. "Our dreams bind us forevermore."
Mouth dry, mourning slithered onto his tongue when he asked, “Is this what you want, Asherah?” He succumbed to the touch of her cold hands, needing the sensation to sit upon his perpetually burning flesh. “For us to be apart?”
Weakness tore across her face, and she cupped his close to her breast. "No!" She cried passionately. “This…split has weakened me, and I will enter a slumber so deep I will be awake only at intervals, but I will never leave you. I will always be with you.”
He snorted. “Be with me when I’m siring that lil Anti-Christ?”
“Indeed, someone must ensure you do it correctly,” she said. Then she narrowed her gaze at him, studying him closely, “You do not hate me.”
“To hate you is to hate myself,” he replied. “But this burns like pit in my soul. How long? How long must we endure the punishment of our wayward son?”
“As long as the stars drift in our night,” she sighed. “The pain will pass, and soon, our one whole existence will feel like sand between our fingers. Our time as Yahweh has passed.”
He exhaled, contemplating what all of that entailed. “What’s so special about this girl of his,” he asked. “What does destiny have in store for her, and how does she come, if not through Lilith?"
"Everyone plays a part," she smiled reassuringly. "Even when they don't know it."
She met his sullen disbelief with peaceful humming. "Destiny shall twist and turn for her,” she sat upon his shoulder. “Until then, you may watch the little ones. Lucifer and Lilith have much work to do.”
He grumbled bitterly. “In this darkness…”
“Light blooms in blood and black, like the wilted rose."
“Literally, he fell right there.” He pointed, and the rock beneath their feet rumbled from the impact.
“Right on time,” she sighed. “The others will come in due time. Pride comes before the fall, then wrath, and envy and sloth and so on,” she touched his cheek one last time. He knew it’d be the last time. Against his pride, he leaned into that bitterly cold palm and sighed.
“Oh, Asherah…”
“You are my wrath manifest, Satan,” she murmured. “Take care of them.”
One moment she was there, the next she was just a memory, an idea. Always. Lifting his gaze, he saw the dust grow distant and watched his son, no, the freshly crowned king of Hell carry his beloved Queen in his arms. They held each other close, tightly as tears and sobs echoed in the reddening air.
Yes, he mused, elbow perched on his knee, the tides have changed. The dark gray gave in to the red, and the rocks beneath the soles of his claws softened. Energy and power drained from his body, and the darkness that was his own was transferred to the golden angel above him.
*****
Belphegor sniffled as she cuddled next to him. “Disassociation is one helluva of a drug,” she mumbled sleepily. “Are you feeling better?”
There was no sound, no noise. Their presence was near, still impossibly close but numb. “A bit, how are the others?” He clutched his head, massaging it quietly.
Leviathan snorted. “Bee and Mam decided to see who can hold their liquor longer,” they motioned to the table where the two were solidly passed out. Beezlebub fell asleep atop his stomach. Vomit was smeared over the high fashioned cloth.
“Asmodeus?”
“On the phone outside,” Leviathan said. “They had fun, in spite of everything.”
“Hm.”
“Did you have fun?”
Satan sighed. “Asherah haunts me, you know,” he said. “After so many years, her grand plan haunts."
Leviathan chuckled slyly. “The true mastermind, isn’t she?”
He glared, but there was no heat to it. “We’ll live to see how this shitshow ends, I reckon,” he said, folding his claws across his stomach.
A comfortable silence passed over them, disturbed only by the snores ahead. “You know you and Lucifer have a lot more in common than you think,” her right head said.
“He was the golden boy of our kids.” Satan said softly. “Ah, we loved those little shits to the moon and back, our archangels. She went ahead and made more when we split. “
Leviathan nodded, then each head made a face. “Wait,” she said. “Wasn’t he impaled with spears when he fell?”
Satan laughed. “Yeah, Michael shit brimstone when he found out what Lucifer did,” he slapped his knee. “Made a mighty mess of him when I scooped him and Lilith up. All that blood…oh boy. He knows how to throw down.”
“That’s fucked, Satan.”
“What? Can’t show a lil pride in my kid’s prowess.”
“And the Golden Angel’s fall?” The right one insisted, glaring at him. “Come on.”
“What?”
The two heads glared their approval. A question readied on their lips, but she seemed to think better of it. “You know he misses Lilith, and you miss…”
“I ain’t getting wrapped up in his rubber duck fetish,” Satam said firmly, standing up. He assessed the damage and pointed at the duo. “And I ain’t cleaning up those idiots. Belphegor I can take home.”
“I can take Mammon home!” Leviathan’s right head said.
Her left head sneered. “The Hell we will,” she barked. “We’ll get Asmodeus to do it.”
He stood, scooping Belphegor with him. As he exited, he saw Asmodeus at the door. They shared an uneasily prolonged stare.
“I am not cleaning up Mam, man.”
Satan groaned. “Someone’s gotta wake ‘em up.”
“…Can I kick him?”
“With the heel?” Satan snickered.
He and Asmodeus shared a laugh before going in. “You know, this isn’t over,” he said. “Blitz did something exceptional today.”
Satan nodded. “He did, and trust, I know my way of wrangling a disobedient flock.”
He ignored the cool look he received, motioning for him to wake Mammon up. I am always with you, my light, my darkness…and as the world dies…rest assured, it will come to life again, new and whole.
Then she faded, returning to that sleep where no dreams or rest stirred, and he chuckled into his drink as Asmodeus’ heel emitted a foul mouthed squeal from the Prince of Greed below.