Chapter Text
“Wrong!”
Gelda’s voice echoed in the zero gravity sphere when a little girl — her apprentice — failed to make a defensive parry the right way. The teacher used the opening without hesitation and grabbed the girl. She could break her neck in one swift move — if she only wanted to.
“You cannot let your weapon slip like that. This would be enough to get you killed,” Gelda reprimanded the girl, and threw her away. It might have looked a bit violent, but on the battlefield nobody would be gentle. It might have also had something to do with the fact Gelda was slowly losing her patience, since nothing that day seemed to go well.
The apprentice was aware this was far from her best. She regained her balance — one of the first skills she had to learn as a future URM soldier — but looked away bashfully when her eyes met the teacher’s stern gaze.
“I am sorry, sensei,” she almost whispered. She expected some nasty remark in response, about how being sorry doesn’t help with anything. Instead, after a pause, she heard a sigh from Gelda, and looking back at her face, she saw her features shift into a more benign expression.
“You seem to have a problem with focus. What’s the matter?” Gelda asked, her voice warmer this time.
“It’s just that…” She didn’t finish, and instead turned her eyes in a certain direction, as if she wanted to point out something.
Gelda caught the hint and looked in the same direction discreetly, without moving her head.
It was the observation gallery.
Ah. Of course…
There was a man watching them. He wore a mask-like, chrome optics that prevented any attempt to read from his eyes, revealing only his faint smile. Gelda had the impression this smile became wider once their gazes met. The man stood in the gallery for a moment before walking away towards another sphere.
Gelda followed him with her eyes, then turned them at the girl.
“Sometimes scientists and engineers observe our training sessions in person, as their job is to provide us with the best weapon possible — which is, our berserker bodies,” Gelda explained. “They look for anything that could be improved.”
“He seems to observe me more often than the other apprentices. Does it mean there is something wrong with me, sensei?” The girl asked. The concern in her eyes managed to evoke a brief squeezing sensation in Gelda’s chest.
“No, of course not,” the woman denied.
“Then why does he do that?” The apprentice asked with yearning for an answer.
“He doesn’t. You’re a careful person, trained to detect dangers. You instinctively notice him when he watches you, but as soon as he goes to other apprentices, you stop paying attention. This creates a false impression,” Gelda explained, careful to not sound dismissive in any way. She wanted this orphaned girl to know that someone adult takes her concerns seriously and wasn’t only making up responses to brush them off. “But I’ll check on that, just to be sure, alright?” she added and put her hand on the kid’s shoulder.
“Alright” The little girl nodded, the insecurity slowly fading away. A smile appeared on her small lips and the big amber eyes looked with hope at her sensei.
Gelda smiled back.
“Now, back to work,” Gelda pushed her away. “Attack!”
***
He is gone. As always.
Gelda stood in the hall, people were passing her by.
Everytime she tried to catch the scientist after the training, he managed to disappear, leaving her only with the taunting memory of his smirk. Looking down on her — or them — from the gallery. At first, she shrugged it off. But over time, something was growing in her. An urge to meet him — no — to confront him. One day, upon seeing him, she even left earlier than her scheduled time and almost ran into the corridor — but to no avail. Then, she gave up for a while. Gelda didn’t know if his behavior was some kind of a tease, an attempt to get her attention — so she preferred to make it seem like she didn’t care. She wasn’t in a mood to play any games — or at least that was what she was telling to herself.
That was how it had been. Situation has changed though, as Gelda gave a word to her apprentice. She couldn’t retreat this time… but maybe it was better that way, actually? She’d finally ask him what he finds so amusing during their training sessions. See how he behaves face to face, and not in the “safety” of the gallery.
Why would that last thing interest her? Well, Gelda didn’t have much entertainment anymore, and days have become monotonous lately. The Mars-Earth conflict fell into some stagnation period, missions for berserkers were quite rare. Her job consisted mostly of preparing the new generation of supersoldiers. She couldn’t complain about that, many would wish to be in such a stable position during those peculiar times. Still, an excuse to do something different than usual, to spice up the gray days was a welcome one.
Trying to demystify an elusive, mysterious man could count as entertainment, the only one she could afford at the moment.
This wasn’t just for her curiosity, though. The other thing that puzzled her was that the apprentice number Ninety-Nine wasn’t wrong actually — the scientist DID seem to have more interest in her than in the other students.
Not enough to sound the alarm — enough to stress about.
Gelda preferred to not admit that to the kid yet. She didn’t want to put additional weight on this poor little head which already had to carry things people at her age shouldn’t. Maybe there was nothing to worry about to begin with. Gelda needed to investigate.
Firstly, she managed to obtain the information about where this scientist had his workplace and at which hours he should be there. Gelda also learnt that he often worked overtime, alone, when everyone else was gone.
Therefore, Gelda picked the most optimal hour and arrived at her destination in the research and design sector. She took a look at a metal plate next to the door and smirked upon reading the name on it. “ Time to pay Professor Desty Nova a visit,” she thought while some form of excitement started growing in her.
That moment was very short-lived as soon Gelda heard footsteps and backed away, but kept sure nothing in her behavior seemed suspicious to a potential viewer. The trick was to act as if she was supposed to be here.
The door opened, and somebody walked out — but it wasn’t him . The person looked surprised to see Gelda and smiled a bit awkwardly, probably noticed chrome markings on her face. In the United Republic of Mars, everybody knew chrome was reserved for the elite. This individual was young, could be an intern even, so no matter if Gelda’s appearance here was confusing or not, they didn’t dare to question that or bother somebody of such status in any other way.
The worker disappeared quickly while Gelda grabbed the door before it closed. Very well, one thing solved.
There was a corridor with a row of doors, to the offices she guessed, but there was no light coming from behind any of them. Instead, she heard a sound down the hall and followed it. Her own footsteps being inaudible.
The sound had led her to a two storey space, to a gallery where she could observe the level below. Gelda found herself in a laboratory, and she wasn’t alone, as she anticipated.
There was a man in a lab coat on the lower level, with his back turned to her so she couldn’t see his face. Gelda recognized that white mane, though.
Here he is.
Gelda leaned on the railings and wanted to relish those circumstances for a moment. She wasn’t going to announce her presence, not yet. One can hear and see interesting things when they let an observed person think they’re completely by themselves…
***
Professor Nova was inspecting the holo screens. He seemed to analyze some data, tapping the panels from time to time, not aware there was an unexpected guest.
Close to the computers there was a table with a berserker body lying, coreless. The synthetic muscle fibers had that dull shade typical of inactive shells, and the figure had androgynous appearance.
Gelda kept observing in silence. The scientist continued working on the computer until he entered a command that powered up devices at the table. It was when she realized that the berserker body was connected to some energy source. The thing soon came to life, its color saturating to the familiar violet, just like when a body is unified with a core — except it didn’t adapt its shape. The scientist came close to it and got something from a drawer under the table. It looked a bit like a filigree diadem which he then put on his temples. After a few seconds, the berserker body started making adjustments to its shape, resulting in something more masculine coded. Even if different from what Gelda was used to seeing on the fellow male soldiers. It was hard to tell for sure, with those layers of clothes and the lab coat, but it seemed that this cyber shell could be a reflection of the scientist's own body, and that would mean...
“He connected his mind to the berserker body ,” she thought in awe.
Nova took a quick glance at the screen, probably to check the parameters that were showing on it, then focused on the cyber body again. Gelda wondered what the scientist was going to do, when suddenly the berserker body started changing its colors. It was as if a rainbow flowed through it. The colorful reflections danced on the surface of Gelda’s eyes, now even bigger than usual.
“I think you’d have a better view down here instead of that gallery,” Nova spoke casually, not taking away his eyes from the devices.
Gelda didn’t respond immediately. She observed him all this time since her walk in and saw no signs — such as a pause or change in the rhythm of movements — that would give away the exact moment he noticed her presence. He is good — she thought, while keeping her unimpressed facade.
“I’ve thought if you always look down on everybody from that gallery in the training hall, maybe somebody can look at you for a change,” she responded.
“I see. Does my watching concern you?” Nova asked as if he was curious. “I guess so, if you bothered to come here.”
“You seem to enjoy it more than the other personnel. I wanted to know why,” Gelda explained without emotion, not taking her eyes away from him.
She could barely see Nova’s face from that angle, but she saw that he smiled.
“I’m merely like an artist who visits the exhibition to flatter himself, by watching his own artwork pinned to the wall,” he answered.
Nova was one of the key people who were responsible for developing the Berserker Project, Gelda recalled in her head. A nanotech specialist specifically assigned to work on the shell. Apparently he saw those bodies Gelda and her apprentices were wearing as his creation — and felt proud of it.
Speaking of pride. Was it an oversized ego, a common trait among rarefied elites such as him, or was there something on the screens that he couldn’t take his eyes off even for a second? Because all that time they were talking, he didn’t bother to look at her, still facing the monitors instead. Though to be fair, she also didn’t show the best manners by entering the place without any greeting. Regardless, Gelda felt she had to do something about it.
“What if the artwork turned things around and pinned the artist? “She asked, surprised by her own words. They worked, though.
Nova’s tapping stopped slowly, a sign that he had to process what he just heard. Gelda watched it with satisfaction, the prospect of making this man feel insecure was tempting for some reason. It was too early to claim success, though.
Carefully, Nova turned at the gallery.
“That's quite a bold concept,” he stated, cautiously. There was a note of amusement as well, though.
“At least it made you look at the person you're speaking to,” she responded wryly.
“Oh… right, forgive me. I got better at it over the years, but sometimes I still forget to do that,” he explained, kindly.
Gelda raised her brow. His genuine tone was more confusing than if he used some sarcasm instead. She didn’t know how to respond, which resulted in a moment of silence. So Nova added:
“Besides, people tend to prefer when I don’t look at them, but that’s more when up close.”
“Hmm? Why?” She asked.
Nova smirked.
“Well, you’d need to get up close to understand,” he answered, amused.
Gelda examined him.
“Aren’t you scared of me coming down to you after what I said?”
“Oh, should I?” He said teasingly.
“I don’t know,” Gelda said. If she was still her younger self, maybe she’d also sound teasingly. She’d probably jump over the railing and land spectacularly on the floor, partially to remind the frail flesh human he should be either intimidated or thrilled by her superhuman presence, depending if he’s into that. Those days were long gone though — Gelda responded impassively and took the stairs without a hurry. She approached the table close enough to have a good view on the testing subject, while her expression was aloof. Nova pretended he didn’t see that and kept his supposedly friendly aura.
“Now, isn’t it better to talk this way?” He spoke in a soft, sweet voice. “There is even some tea if you want. And biscuits.” There indeed were plates with food and a teapot with a warmer, as if someone expected to spend a lot of time here.
Gelda ignored all that sugar, literally and metaphorically. She intended to chat with Nova for a while, so she could form an opinion about him, but she would rather direct the conversation into something of interest while doing it.
“Have you remotely connected your mind to the berserker body?” She got straight to the point. Gelda had heard about technologies that make it possible to control a person remotely, of chips inserted into brains. Remote connection to the berserker shell was something new to her though — and definitely less creepy than using another living being as a puppet.
“Yes,” the scientist nodded.
“Can you move it?” Gelda asked.
“No, not really, I actually disabled this option for convenience, you know, to not control two bodies at once,” Nova answered calmly. It seemed he didn’t mind getting questions. Thus, Gelda kept asking:
“So… what are you doing with it, then?” she raised her brow.
“Heh, well… What’s your favorite color?” He asked, while a certain kind of smile appeared on his face. It irked her. An attempt to shorten the distance.
“None,” Gelda responded coldly, as if she wanted to cut whatever he tried to accomplish, but it failed to affect his glee demeanor.
“Oh, perfect!” he clapped his hands in excitement and turned to the body. “Now, check this out.”
He made a concentrated expression and then the berserker’s arm went translucent. Gelda’s big eyes got wider despite her best attempts.
“Seems there is an improvement compared to the previous test”, Nova said with content, but more to himself than her. He turned away from the table to the screens and started writing on the keyboard.
Gelda’s aloof facade melted. She couldn’t really hide her curiosity anymore. Especially that Nova wasn’t watching now. She took the forearm carefully and raised it, watching her hand being visible under the artificial flesh. She was rotating it a bit, shifting her own perspective to see how well the effect works and for a while she got lost in that exploration.
The body wasn’t perfectly transparent. It was possible to see gentle outlines and shades of the shapes inside, their visibility changing depending on the angle. Gelda was especially fascinated by the hand, which had plenty of moving parts — she could see how the bones and tendons worked when she pushed the hand’s fingers. Until a sudden realization hit her.
“Isn’t it as if I was holding HIS hand, in a way?” The thought made her immediately drop the berserker arm down as if it was hot.
Nova shuddered and looked at her in confusion.
“Shit, did he feel that?” Gelda felt so stupid in that moment, and she hasn't felt like that in a long, long time. She had no idea if the touch sensors were working. He had claimed he couldn't move the body, then again, he could control the properties of the nanites, so who the hell knows? However… if he felt she was playing with the hand, he’d react the moment she took the arm and warned her or asked her to not do it, right ? Then he reacted because of the sudden sound of the body hitting the metal table, not the sensation — Gelda tried to calm down herself with those thoughts.
“Everything’s alright?” Nova asked.
Gelda naturally turned her head at him to respond and froze.
Nova was wearing special chrome spectacles — Gelda knew it, yes. But she had always seen him only from a distance until now. And even during their current talk, he positioned himself to be seen at some angle — usually — while Gelda was unwilling to look at his not-so-attractive countenance — usually. Thus, they never actually faced each other, never looked into each other's eyes.
Now, those empty artificial eyes were looking straight at her, or maybe, into her. From afar, they always appeared ridiculous to her, if anything, so she'd never expected they actually could be intimidating.There was something so… unsettlingly inhuman about them. On top of that, Gelda got the impression that she sees some movement inside those optics, as if little mechanisms were analyzing her in real-time, which only added to the uneasiness.
“Well,” Gelda pulled herself together and looked somewhere else, hoping Nova didn’t notice the effect of his gaze on her. “It’s interesting, but the actual usage in combat seems dubious — even when we ignore the armor, you can’t do such a trick with the core, not yet at least,” she managed to remain in a casual tone.
“Yes, naturally. It will most likely not make it into the final product to reduce the costs. But if I ever have a chance in the future to design a body whatever I like, I’ll definitely apply this technology,” Nova responded and looked at the berserker with fondness. ”I think I even have a name…something about imagination, as this is what the body will be shaped with by the wielder,” he added. Gelda glanced at him and saw the scientist was definitely in the clouds at that moment.
“Win the war first, then you can do whatever you want,” Gelda crossed her arms.
“You say?” Nova smiled, but more to himself than her. As if he was enjoying a joke only he could understand.
Gelda didn’t comment further on that, even if there was something weird about his amused reaction, and pondered what else she could ask. “You said you’ve disabled the option to move the body. Does that mean it’s actually possible to guide it remotely?”
“Steering a body like a drone to fight in an interplanetary war isn’t a good idea in general, if that’s what you’re thinking. But if you’re asking specifically about this body — well, yes and no”.
Gelda resisted the initial urge to say “no, of course that’s not what I had on my mind, you think I’m dumb or what” . That would be too fast for accusing him of such an attitude. To react like that would require levels of pettiness and insecurity that she didn’t have anymore, having dealt with vast amounts of bullshit throughout her career. She felt weird it even came to her head at all. Instead, she encouraged him to explain more:
“And why no?...”
“The berserker bodies require tremendous amounts of energy to sustain their full functionality, and this can only be provided by another wonder of science, which I don’t have access to, sadly.” He took off the diadem from his head, and the berserker body reshaped into its basic form.
“The anti-matter heart?” Gelda asked rhetorically.
“Yeah, the one you keep in your chest,” Nova said with a sly smile, which then shifted to a genuine one. “I’d love to study and work with this technology.”
Gelda ignored the first statement.
“But you can’t because of the segmentation, right? To prevent leaks.”
“Exactly. I don’t know if you already know that, behind every compound of your cybernetic body there is an individual department. They’re all separated, direct flow of data between them is prohibited, but none has such strict rules as the anti-matter heart section.” Nova confirmed and tilted his head, pensive. “Well, as impressive as the nanotech shell is, and obviously superior to anything Earth produces, it’s the miniaturization of the antimatter engine that makes the impossible of others possible for the URM...” he said almost wistfully, detaching, then refocused and looked at Gelda again. “Anyway, we get the absolute minimum required to do our part, which isn’t quite satisfying to work with, at least for someone like me.”
Gelda was seemingly pondering over his words, and since she didn’t say anything for a while, Nova added “I have to check on something, if you don’t mind,” and sat by the computer in the office chair.
“We put a lot of effort into keeping our technology a secret, which in itself is understandable,” Gelda spoke up eventually as Nova was scrolling on the touch screen. “But even more so when we remember that our survival depends on it.” She used the word survival, not victory. The narrative on both sides was presenting this war as something more than a conflict between two superpowers. This is us or them . She wanted to believe it was just over dramatic propaganda. It’s not like they want to completely wipe out each other, right ? “URM is quality, Earth is quantity. If we lose our technological and strategic superiority, we don’t stand a chance against Earth’s numbers,” Gelda continued, and Nova was just nodding, dividing his focus between his work and the guest. Gelda stared at him, as if examining, then finished her monologue. “So, I imagine even a lone scientist and engineer of such rank as yours would be insanely valuable in the enemy's eyes.”
Gelda observed the busy scientist, curious about his reaction. This divided focus on his side could be of use. People under such a state tend to have less control over their responses — sometimes they’re nonsense, sometimes not.
Nova kept tapping on the console and manipulating windows on the touch screen.
“Yes, it’s without a doubt I’m a very valuable asset for the Republic,” his carefree expression got a shade of a grimace. “One they wouldn't want to be turned against them.”
Nova’s smile faded somewhere and there was nothing but silence after his words, except him tapping on the console. Then his movements stopped, as if he realized something. A fatal mistake, maybe? Gelda thought, and that wasn’t an exaggeration. Everyone in the URM knew that treason was taken very, very seriously. Even a mere suspicion could be…lethal.
Gelda couldn’t see his eyes, but she noticed he swallowed. He turned his chair to Gelda, while shifting his expression to a fake smile.
“But as long as the Republic provides me with flan and tea, I'm not going anywhere, heh" he grinned and shrugged in a futile attempt to appear laid back. “Speaking of tea, you still haven’t drunk any, maybe I’ll pour you some?” he quickly added and wanted to move towards the table with the teapot, but Gelda stood in his way.
“Thanks, I don’t want to,” she said while looking straight at him from above, since he was forced to sit. “So, you’re all good there? On the URM side?“ Gelda asked, holding onto what he accidentally spilled out. She knew he did spill something , but she wanted to know what it was exactly. Was it just a hidden frustration and tiredness, expressed in an unfortunate choice of words? Or was there something more to it?
There was a small twitch on Nova’s features while he stared at Gelda, before his body relaxed.
“Well, here on Mars, I have a high position and all the comforts that come with it,” Nova began and Gelda thought she was about to get a serious answer, until he went on. “Sadly, I lack the precious attention of a certain Panzer Kunst master,” he added, and Gelda frowned. “But on Earth? As an enemy of the URM? I would be their top target,” Nova leaned in the chair and crossed his legs nonchalantly “ I would live with the awareness that somewhere on Mars, Gelda-sensei spends all her days thinking how to lay her hands on me.”
Nova watched her smugly, slightly swaying the swivel chair left and right like a cat slowly wagging its tail.
Gelda’s own face was unamused, though. She knew Nova dodged her question. On the other hand, she lacked energy to keep pushing when there was a different issue yet to be touched. The main reason she came here to begin with.
She grabbed one of the armrests and stopped the chair, making Nova freeze and curl a bit.
“There are other ways to make me think about you,” Gelda leaned over him, while careful to avoid getting too close. “Or to make me your enemy”.
His intimidated attitude didn’t last for long, as he smiled mischievously.
“Really? Tell me about those ways,” he responded with his tone teasing. Gelda shared none of his playful demeanor. All she was thinking at the moment was how to convince this man that if she ever “puts her hands on him”, it would be anything but pleasurable.They gazed at each other like that for a while, but to Gelda’s surprise, Nova suddenly gave in. He cleared his throat, his expression shifted to more serious, apologetic, even. “Because I wouldn't want to do something improper in unawareness.”
Everything in his body language and voice was geared toward de-escalating aggression, Gelda realized as she observed him. It reminded her of a wolf rolling over and exposing its belly to an angered pack member to prevent a fight. She stepped away and decided to take a nearby chair to sit on it, so she wasn’t looking down at him anymore. Even if some psychological pressure could come in handy at that moment. Gelda herself wanted to lose that growing tension. It wasn’t leading anywhere anyway and there were cameras in the lab for sure.
“Disturbing the girls,” Gelda answered, after she felt things calmed down. And when they did, a sudden wave of fatigue hit her. But she didn’t want it to be visible.
“Disturbing the girls,” he repeated, raising his brow, and crossed his arms. “Do I disturb your girls?” It’s like he tried to be serious, or rather, he pretended that he’s trying to be serious as if mocking her. Or maybe she was just overinterpreting.
“Number Ninety-Nine to be exact,” she kept her firm tone.
“Oh, so she’s just a number to you?” he asked with a hidden — but not really — mockery. Now she was sure about it.
Gelda frowned.
“I assumed you wouldn’t know who I’m talking about if I used the name instead of the number, Professor Nitpicky.”
He chuckled.
“I’m sorry. I just wonder how those girls already use numbers instead of names. I digress. So, number Ninety-Nine, what’s about her?”
“You’re having an interest in her,” Gelda stated.
“Yeah, I think so,” he answered lightly, but then his smile faded. He took a pause and looked at Gelda cautiously. “Wait, are we thinking about the same kind of interest?”
“I don’t know, but after that answer… I really hope not,” Gelda almost grimaced.
Nova didn’t lose his composure over what he just got accused of, but Gelda could see he frowned under his spectacles.
“My brain had an impressive collection of abnormalities, but this one wasn’t among them. I do not have THAT kind of interest in little girls, or boys, or anything in between, or baby seals, or, well, did I forget anything?”
“Then what kind of interest do you have in her?”
“Erm…,” Nova hesitated for a moment. “Karmic one?”
“...What?” Gelda asked, completely taken aback.
“It’s…” There was sudden insecurity in him. Gelda recognized it — this was the insecurity of a person trying to explain something important to them, something kept in their head for a long time — yet maybe never shared before. “Well, I have my own scientific theory that—”
“Okay, no matter. What do you want from her?” Gelda cut him.
Nova stared at Gelda for a moment with his lips parted as if his unspoken words got stuck in his throat, not expecting to be dismissed so quickly. Then he sighed.
“Nothing. I just observe and wait how things will unfold for her,” he answered, still calm. “I’ve heard she went through a lot.”
“An old creep should have a different hobby than staring and grinning at a ten year old girl,” Gelda commented coldly.
Another few seconds of silence.
Gelda noticed some tiny reaction in Nova’s expression, being called names was something he most likely didn’t see coming. Maybe he was also pondering: This is how she sees me?... Yet, there was no trace of anger or annoyance. More like a disappointment or exhaustion.
“I’m grinning?” Nova asked after the tensed pause. Gelda wondered if he made those pauses to keep his composure and resist an urge of a less tame reaction.
“... you’re certainly smiling,” Gelda shrugged off her exaggeration.”It’s distracting her,” she added. “She’s thinking you’re mocking her.”
“Me? Her? Oh no, more like mocking some abstract concepts,” Nova smirked faintly as if his mind wandered somewhere again.
Gelda gave him a chastening look, and Nova realized that speaking of anything abstract right now in front of this woman was very silly of him. He stopped smiling and tried to look more present.
“Well, I’ll try to be more self-aware, then,” he added and shrugged.
“And just that?” Gelda tilted her head slightly.
“What else do you expect me to do?” Nova asked.
“Stop observing her,” Gelda answered, then after a moment she added: “Us.”
“That’s literally part of my job.”
“I’m pretty sure nobody will complain if you neglect this part of your job.”
“I will,” Nova responded. “ Are you ready to compensate me for that?”
“Excuse me?” Gelda asked, tensing up immediately.
Nova recognized he had to clarify things quickly.
“You could provide me with additional feedback, maybe even help with testing,” he explained and gestured with his hand at the wall with pictures on it. “When you have free time, of course.”
“Oh,” Gelda blinked. The term compensation made her think of something else, especially from a man who was aiming ambiguous smiles at her before…and since today, words as well. She relaxed when Nova seemed to have different intentions, even if she wasn’t fully convinced they’re perfectly innocent. Who said he wouldn’t try to use those visits for other purposes than science. “Feedback on your side projects regarding berserker bodies?”
Nova nodded, and a very gentle smile reappeared on his face. She'd bet something would shine in his eyes too, if he wasn’t hiding them behind those empty artificial ones.
Gelda looked at the blueprints, sketches and visualizations. So far, she only saw the color and transparency manipulation experiment, but there was definitely more to explore.
Her attention got caught by a concept graphic where a blade was growing out of a cyborg’s forearm. Is it really possible to push berserker’s shapeshifting abilities this far? What else could be done then? Gelda thought. A spark of curiosity appeared in her eyes, but soon she became aware that Nova observed her with no less curiosity than she had towards those designs. He seemed flattered already, anticipating her commentary. Gelda felt that weird surge of hostility again, like when Nova asked about her favorite color, except even stronger.
“And waste my time and the government’s resources, may I remind you, on your playthings that won’t work in the field? You have directions from the lead designer — focus on them.”
She guessed where it would hurt the most for a man like him and hit it right there. In the end somebody else’s name will be attached to “your artwork”, cog.
…it wasn’t exactly that Gelda believed in what she just said — she didn’t think Nova’s research was a waste of time, she’d actually like to learn more about his inventions. Well, a small part of her that is. The bigger part, however, sensed something wrong about him and wanted to push him away from her as far as possible. Even if it meant acting like this.
Nova’s smile disappeared. He lowered his gaze and shifted it at the table, as if looking for a clue what he should say to this. Or worse — maybe her behavior reached a level too low but he had enough class to let her realize that on her own — it crossed Gelda’s mind. She watched him and almost started feeling guilty, considering whether to speak, when the corners of his lips raised again.
“Well…it seems something isn’t clicking between us today, is it?” He spoke with a benign expression, his voice hitting just the right notes to push invisible needles into Gelda’s heart. Nova turned at her, with his perfectly executed, sad smile. “Maybe we should move this conversation to another time?”
Gelda stared at him then shook her head gently.
“No, you don’t understand, there won’t be another time, I —” Gelda started but had to cut herself. She sensed her voice was getting emotional, and speech chaotic, she couldn’t allow herself for that. Especially in front of this man. Despite all the quirks, and one slip up, he appeared to have a lot of control over his behavior when he wanted, a bit too much for her taste. At least she believed that was the case at this moment. Or hoped. It was definitely more comfortable to think that what she just witnessed was nothing but a skillful trick, instead of something genuine.
Regardless, Gelda had to get herself together. She closed those big eyes for a moment, sighed and started over. “I’m sorry, this is my fault. I should have handled this differently.”
Yeah, like not talking about pinning anybody to the wall the moment you made the first contact, an annoyed voice spoke inside her head. This indirect threat of unclear intentions could have encouraged him to flirt; Gelda had seen people feeling invited to be flirty after less suggestive stuff than this.
Nova watched her. He tilted his head slightly upon her words and Gelda hated him for that, because it made him almost akin to a confused puppy.
“There won’t be another time unless on professional terms. I literally came here to tell you to stay away from me and Yoko.”
And feed my curiosity. But I'll keep that to myself.
Nova didn’t say anything, and nothing could be read from his face. He un-tilted his head though and something changed. The puppy was gone.
Gelda kept going.
“This is the reason I came here, among learning the cause of your dubious behavior when watching our training sessions. I'm sorry I didn’t get straight to the point and my visit could have been interpreted as anything more than that.”
“I see,” Nova responded quietly, but not shyly.
Somehow Gelda hoped he’d say something more, but he was silent. She didn’t want to finish this meeting on such an uneasy note. She also didn’t want to leave anything unclear.
“Well, let’s try to tackle it again and properly this time. No jokes, only concrete answers,” Gelda said, and Nova didn’t object, so she took it as a yes and continued. “Yoko asked me if you observe her more than the other apprentices because there is something wrong with her. Have you observed something worthy of concern?”
“No. She’s developing on a similar level as the other apprentices. I haven’t observed anything alarming in how her body and mind function as for now.”
“What about me? Anything alarming?”
“No. You’re perfect.” he answered. Gelda was about to give him a look, unsure if he was trying something again despite the unemotional tone, but he added: “In your performance.”
“So, can it be summed up that you give us special attention for your own enjoyment, rather for professional reasons?” She asked.
“I guess so,” Nova shrugged, then added in case his answer wasn’t concrete enough.”Yes.”
“Fine. As I mentioned before, you’re not merely watching us for a longer time than other subjects, but also making expressions of dubious nature while doing so. Therefore, I’m informing you that this behavior is having a negative effect on my apprentice. It's unprofessional and unwelcomed. Following this, I kindly ask you to stop observing us altogether unless upon a request of an authorized person. I hope this talk is enough to achieve what I’m asking for so we can keep things civil.”
“I think we can,” Nova responded.
“Great,” she stood up and Nova did the same as if from impulsive savoir-vivre. “I’m not interrupting your work any longer then.”
Gelda turned away from him without waiting for any response and headed towards the exit. Finally.
She wanted to get out of here and it seemed this awkward encounter finally came to an end. But there wasn’t space for any relief, as she already could sense how this conversation would come back to her, and she would think about it over and over. She hated that feeling.
Gelda could only hope things would become more clear after some reflection, not the opposite. As for now, she didn’t know what to think about this man, or even her own behavior at this point. Was she too harsh? Her instincts were kicking in over and over through the meeting, fighting the temptation to feel any sympathy towards the scientist. Maybe it was better to just listen to them.
That’s fine. Still, were some of the things necessary?
For example, Gelda couldn't tell now how much of Nova’s flirting was genuine, as part of it could be done as a desperate attempt to redirect her attention from potential state treason. She brought up that matter kinda randomly, to be honest. She had no reason to suspect him, why did she bait him? Just so she could potentially have something to be used against him? See him distressed for all those smirks in the observation gallery?
Ironically the random bait actually caught something, but having a catch on him could be a double edged sword now she thought about it. There could be more trouble than benefit. Nova might not show it, but knowing he had become suspicious in Gelda’s eyes, he could see her now as a threat. Start pulling the strings to get rid of her. Sure, he could as well just forget about it if he wasn’t paranoid, but isn’t this world full of closet psychos? Gelda felt her stomach turning.
Damn, you haven’t even left this place and you’re already analyzing. Just get outta here.
As Gelda ascended the stairs, it came to her that she didn’t say goodbye in any way. Should she? Should she say anything before she leaves? Why does one have to ponder over stupid shit like this? Why isn’t it obviou—
“The touch sensors,” Nova said suddenly to her surprise, breaking her train of thought.
“What?” She asked, confused, stopping in front of the door.
“They were active,” Nova sounded as if he was very pleased with himself.
It took Gelda a moment to process what he was talking about, before she got it.
“Idiot,” was her only response.
The last thing Gelda registered before she left was the sound of Nova’s chuckle.