Work Text:
“San Lang?” Xie Lian called from the doorway. He slipped his shoes off at the entrance of the door, eyes already searching for that familiar figure. Sometimes Hua Cheng could be found in the kitchen, making a delicious meal for them. Alas, the lights were off, and no fragrant dish reached his nose.
Not so unusual though and so Xie Lian continued on to the living room only to find it empty too. Before moving on, Xie Lian’s eyes lingered on the corner of the couch Hua Cheng liked to occupy. Many nights had passed with Xie Lian curled against Hua Cheng while they watched a show together. Other times, Xie Lian would curl his feet on Hua Cheng’s lap while reading a book, and Hua Cheng worked on his tablet.
How curious. Hua Cheng’s car was parked outside, but their home was eerily quiet. Something was off and unconsciously Xie Lian rubbed his thumb over his wrist, mirroring the soothing action Hua Cheng had done for him many times. Xie Lian padded softly into their hallway, paused by their joint study to check the room. By this point, he was not surprised at Hua Cheng’s absence, but he was slightly worried. Everything else aside, the true indicator of something being off was that Hua Cheng hadn’t responded to Xie Lian’s call. He never did that.
Xie Lian pushed down his worry, telling himself there were many benign reasons for such a thing. Still, old fears died hard. For many years, Xie Lian’s lot in life hadn’t been the best. And though he’d shouldered it all with a smile and kindness, he’d also learned to push all the pain and loneliness of it so far down that he’d managed to almost convince himself there was no pain at all.
And then he met Hua Cheng.
Hua Cheng, who took his smiles and his frowns. Hua Cheng, who took his laughter and his tears, his joy and his pain.
Hua Cheng, who took all of him in every way that he was. Even now, Xie Lian could feel the ghost of his arms around him, the whisper of his words in his ear.
Cry out if it hurts.
And though there were no tears to shed, the words reminded him there was no need to pretend. And so, he breathed through his worry, and then let it go on an exhale.
Once, twice and then again. The exercise calmed him enough to think of the most logical, probable outcome and he veered towards their bedroom.
And there Hua Cheng was, sleeping in their bed. Xie Lian quickly covered his mouth, cutting off a sob or laughter, he’d never be able to say. He closed his eyes, and with one last deep breath, made his way to the bed. Xie Lian knelt down, bringing himself at eye level to Hua Cheng’s dear face.
He smiled softly seeing one side of Hua Cheng’s face squished against the pillow, his eyepatch tangled in his hair as if he’d tugged it off but fell asleep before removing it fully. Taking in the rest of him, Xie Lian could see that, jacket aside, he was still wearing his business suit from the office.
Gradually, the smile melted away, and understanding replaced relief. Hua Cheng was the hardest working man Xie Lian knew. He had a business to run and run it well he did. Though there were days he had to leave home early or nights he returned late, those times were few and far in between.
Yet thinking about this past week, Xie Lian bit his lip remembering cold sheets upon waking in the morning. Or the opposite, waking up in the middle of the night to find Hua Cheng in their study, eyes preoccupied by the bright glow of his computer.
It was obvious Hua Cheng had been working on something important. Xie Lian hadn’t pried, but seeing his lover’s current state, well, it seemed a change of plan was needed.
Staring hard at Hua Cheng, Xie Lian felt fondness and concern grip his heart. The latter was for later though. Leaning forward, Xie Lian removed the eyepatch from his hair, and pressed gentle kisses to Hua Cheng’s forehead, his nose, and his cheek. Then, pushing up his shirt sleeves, he got to work.
Xie Lian had worked almost every job under the sun, one of which included care of the elderly. Those skills allowed him to maneuver Hua Cheng’s body just enough to strip him of his button-down shirt and pants and replace them with one of the warmer pajamas Hua Cheng favored.
All this he did without breaking a sweat, and most importantly, without waking Hua Cheng.
Touching a finger to his chin, Xie Lian stared thoughtfully at Hua Cheng and then grabbed his own pillow and stuffed it in Hua Cheng’s embrace until Xie Lian himself could return. Through it all, Hua Cheng continued to sleep deeply. Giving one last tender kiss to Hua Cheng’s cheek, Xie Lian picked up his suit jacket from the floor. Then, as if in slow motion, a velvet red box tumbled out of the pocket.
It was an odd sensation for Xie Lian – the feeling of a hundred butterflies in his stomach perfectly unified with the feeling of being gut punched in the best possible way. Heart near to bursting, face full of smiles he wasn’t even aware of, he picked up the small box and tucked it back into Hua Cheng’s pocket. He gently closed the bedroom door and started down the hallway.
Dinner first for my San Lang, he thought, flicking on the lights in the living room before making his way to the kitchen.
A bath sounds like a good idea too, he mused to himself, pulling out pots from the cabinet and vegetables from the fridge.
So does the rest of my life.