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The phone rings twice before Maddie picks up, and even the simple sound of her voice deflates all the tension in Buck’s body. His sister will help. She has to.
“Hey, Evan. What’s up?”
Buck exhales, pacing the length of his loft and turning on his heel to march the other way, “Okay, so, this might sound weird, but...okay. Look. When you were first dating Chimney, did you… were you…” he huffs, running a hand through his hair as he tries to gather his thoughts, “I don’t know. I get this- okay, sometimes I get this kind of weird, fluttery restlessness in my chest, and I- I don’t know, I’m kind of… concerned about it?”
There’s a beat of silence, and Buck worries that he’s said something that in her professional opinion, sounds like madness, or maybe something actually wrong with him.
“Fluttery restlessness?” she repeats, and he knows that tone. He can practically see the upturned corners of her mouth and he fights calling her out on it, for making fun of him when he’s clearly distressed, “What, like you’ve had too much coffee, or… anxiety?”
“No, no. It’s different. Like…” he flops onto the couch, dragging a hand over his face, “Whenever Tommy’s around, it’s like my brain can’t shut up. My heart’s doing this stupid thing where it beats faster for no reason, and I keep thinking about stupid stuff, like how, just- perfect his laugh is and how he smells like... I don’t know, cedar or vanilla, something. It’s like I can’t get my mind off him, I can’t think, I can’t-” he lets out a frustrated little huff, “And it’s stupid, right? Because he’s like- he’s there, right in front of me, and I’m carrying on like it’s the first time I’ve seen him or something-“ he wrinkles his nose, “Am I… obsessed with him? Is it creepy? Maddie, you gotta be honest with me. I don’t wanna scare him away. Is there something wrong with me? Should I rein it in?”
Maddie, to her credit, lets him go on and on. But once Buck asks that question, she doesn’t respond right away, which makes him sit up straighter, checking the phone briefly to make sure he hasn’t been whinging to dead air, “Maddie? Did I lose you?”
“Nope,” she says, and he knows it’s no longer just a concealed smile: she’s fully grinning now, “I’m just trying to figure out the best way to say this without making you freak out.”
“That’s… not reassuring. God, maybe I should apologise to him-”
“Relax,” Maddie teases, “Look… I’m no doctor, okay, but it kind of sounds like…” Buck braces for the worst, “…someone’s in love.”
What?
In love? The words ricochet around his skull like a rogue pinball, his brain offline, “What? No way. That’s- that’s not-”
“Oh, it is,” Maddie says, cutting him off with a laugh, “Evan, I love you, but you’re so obvious. And oblivious. You’ve got it bad for Tommy, and everyone but you seems to know it.”
Buck splutters, trying to come up with a defense, “I do not have it bad! I just- he’s cool, okay? And funny. And his job is amazing- Maddie, he’s a pilot, and he has this sense of humor that-”
“Evan,” Maddie interrupts gently, “I’m gonna stop you right there before you dig yourself deeper. All I’m saying is, maybe stop calling your sister to overanalyse this and start telling Tommy how you feel instead.”
Her words hit like a bucket of cold water. Buck stares at the wall, his pulse doing that stupid thing again, though it doesn’t feel quite as positive this time, “I can’t just... tell him.”
“Why not?” Maddie asks, “You’re brave enough to run into burning buildings, but you’re scared to tell someone you love them? You told Liv Abrams you loved her about three seconds after you met her.”
“First of all, I was six and unfamiliar with the concept of love,” he points out, “Second of all, I do not love him,” Buck insists, though his voice lacks conviction, “And thirdly…” he doesn’t want to say it, doesn’t want to accidentally breathe it into existence, “…what if he doesn’t feel the same way?”
“Then he doesn’t,” Maddie says simply, “But knowing Tommy? I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem.”
Buck groans, dragging a pillow over his face, “You’re just saying that to make me feel better. You’re awful.”
“Nope,” Maddie says brightly, “I’m just your sister. But I’m always right.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Buck grumbles, holding the pillow tight against his chest, a tiny comfort, “Thanks, Maddie. I’ll... think about it.”
“You do that,” she says. “Love you, Evan. Good luck.”
“Love you, too,”
The loft feels strangely quiet afterwards, though maybe it’s because there’s suddenly a rushing in his ears instead of his thoughts flying around and around. Buck stares at his phone for a long moment, replaying Maddie’s words. In love? No way.
Except... the more he thinks about it, the more pieces start to click into place.
Like how Tommy’s texts are always the highlight of his day. How he finds excuses to visit the airport, pretending it’s because he “just happened to be in the area.” He feels lighter, happier, when Tommy’s around, like the world makes more sense. Even this - the first time he’s been to the loft in months, even though Tommy hasn’t actually asked him to move in yet.
And how Tommy’s smile, rare and understated, makes his stomach do these ridiculous flip-flops he’s only ever heard about happening about in bad romance novels.
“Oh, no,” Buck mutters, sinking deeper into the couch.
It’s love. Maddie’s right, and he’s an idiot for not realizing it sooner.
The thought is terrifying and exhilarating all at once, a wild cocktail of emotions that makes his restless energy double. He jumps to his feet, pacing again, because sitting still feels impossible.
What does he do now? Does he call Tommy? Text him? Drive to the airport and confess in front of all of his colleagues like he’s in some cheesy rom-com?
“Get a grip,” Buck mutters to himself. But his heart’s racing again, and now that he knows why, there’s no ignoring it.
He grabs his keys. Maddie’s right - he’s brave enough to run into burning buildings. Six year old him was brave enough to confess everything to a girl he hardly knew.
He can absolutely do this.