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Dean tapped along on the steering wheel as he hummed along to the song on the radio. It was some old rock song that he was certain his dad listened to back in the day, though he couldn’t remember the title to save his life. It was no matter so long as he was feeling the beat.
“The cargo still sleeping back there,” Dean questioned as he looked over to his brother in the passenger seat.
Sam looked up from the paper he had been reading to twist around to glance at the backseat. “Like a rock.”
Dean couldn’t help but steal a look in the rear view mirror to check for himself. There he saw the angel in question, slumped completely over with his head rested on Dean’s rolled up sweatshirt. His trench coat acted like a blanket, covering him almost over his head so that his messy hair was exposed. He suddenly let out a soft cough as he rolled onto his back, mumbling softly in his sleep.
“Damn, dude looks rough,” Dean commented as he shifted in his own seat. His lower back was killing him considering they had been driving almost five hours with only a stop for gas in between. “How about a pit stop in 20? I need to take a leak.”
Sam shrugged. “Whatever you say, man. You might want to get something for Cas.”
“What kind of something?”
“He’s running on empty, Dean. I know you think he’s just going to bounce back from this, but something is different. Maybe you should talk to him.”
Dean shot his brother a look. “First I need to get something for him, now you want me to talk to him? Do I need to hold his hand as he crosses the street too, Sam?”
Sam thrust his paper down hard on his lap. Agitation lit in his brown eyes as he glared at his brother in the semidarkness. “Things have changed is all I’m saying. I think it’s about time to realize that you may have to change with them.”
Dean hated when his brother spoke cryptically like that. He didn’t want to admit that he had no idea what he was talking about, so he often ended up going silent and pondering what Sam just said. He didn’t appreciate the thoughts that were sprouting in his mind when he thought about Cas. He had given up so much for them, and here he was, at perhaps his lowest point that Dean had ever seen him at. That had to count for something, didn’t it?
The rest of the drive was relatively silent, except for a few snuffling noises that Cas made in the back when he tried to adjust into a more comfortable position. Dean would glance back periodically and wonder what Cas could possibly be dreaming about, or how he could possibly be sleeping that deeply. Surely he had some secret that Dean was missing.
When they finally pulled into the gas station on the exit ramp, he rolled up to a pump and set the car in park. Dean reached over and patted Sam’s chest. “You got the gas while I deal with Cas?”
A smirk showed on Sam’s face. “Yeah, I got it.”
Dean ignored Sam’s smug look as he climbed out of the driver’s side and stepped into the brisk Wisconsin air. He disguised a shiver with a roll of his shoulders as he opened the rear car door. He half expected Cas to already be upright now that they stopped moving, but the angel was still fast asleep, looking surprisingly peaceful in a ragged sort of way. It almost made Dean disappointed to wake him.
“Hey, Cas.” Dean reached down and gave Cas’s shoulder a light jostle.
Cas gave a soft mumble as he lifted his head, blinking blearily. It took him a moment to remember where he was as he looked at Dean in alarm. “Wha?”
As soon as he made a frightened move to scramble up, Dean rested a hand on his shoulder to hold him steady. “Easy. It’s just me.”
“Where are we,” Cas rasped as he looked around fearfully.
“Somewhere in the middle of fucking nowhere,” Dean replied with a shrug as he tucked his hands in his pockets. “But we’re only about three hours away from the next hunt. Thought you might want to stretch your legs before we head out again.”
Cas’s expression turned hazy, and Dean was about to explain it over again incase Cas was still groggy with sleep, when the angel suddenly sucked in a rapid breath. “TshsSh! TshsSh! TshsSH!”
Dean leapt back away from the spray, jaw gaped in shock. “Watch it, man!”
“Sorry,” Cas mumbled as he swiped his wrist under his nose. “I don’t know what happened.”
Sensing the panic in Cas’s voice, Dean swallowed his groan and took a step back towards the vehicle. “You sneezed, man. Next time cover it, so you don’t go spraying everyone. Now, come on.”
This time when Dean turned and started towards the small station, he heard Cas stagger after him. The angel had only made it a few steps when he faltered, and Dean thanked his sudden reflexes that he was able to turn and catch him before he could fall flat on his face.
“Woah, what’s going on with you,” Dean blurted as Cas pulled away from his grasp.
“I’m fine, Dean.”
“No offense, but you seem like the complete opposite of fine. You runnin’ low on grace or what?”
If looks could kill, the one that he was flashing Dean at the moment certainly would have. Dean wouldn’t go far as to call himself scared, yet he did give him some space with his hands raised in defeat. He muttered under his breath as Cas started ahead, clearly struggling under his own power.
Dean followed him into the gas station and quickly veered towards the restrooms. He was thankful it wasn’t a single stall and quickly did his business and washed his hands before returning to the drink section. There he found Cas standing listlessly, staring at the frozen sodas as they swirled and swished around. He appeared almost transfixed by it, eyes spinning as he watched the repetitive motion.
“Do you want one,” Dean asked as he grabbed a cup from the dispenser and filled it up with the cherry drink. “Can’t just stare at it, man. Any weird shit you do, they’ll kick us out.”
“Why?”
“Why?” Dean pulled a straw and tore the paper off with his teeth before setting it in Cas’s drink and handing it to him. “Because you look like you’re out of your mind. What is going on with you?”
Cas was about to respond when his face screwed up in anticipation. Just as his breath started to catch, Dean took the drink from his hand as he guessed what was about to happen.
“TshshSH! TshshSH! THshs! TshsSH!” To Cas’s credit, he managed to lift a hand in time to contain it. However, he kept his hand positioned there as he looked to Dean with panic in his bright blue eyes.
“For the love of…..” Dean swallowed a groan as he pointed in the direction of the bathroom. “Go and clean yourself up. I’ll check out. Is there anything else you need?”
“Dno,” came the stuffy reply.
Dean winced at the sound. Whether he wanted to admit or not, something was clearly going on with Cas that he was ill-equipped to deal with. It could be just a case of pure exhaustion that would get better with some rest in an actual bed, though Dean had his doubts. Cas was supposed to be this powerful angel and now he could hardly keep his head up.
Muttering a few choice words, Dean scoured the meager medicine isle. They didn’t have a whole lot of options, and what they did have was horribly overpriced. That didn’t stop Dean from bundling as much as he could carry in his arms with Cas’s drink and heading to the register without grabbing anything for himself.
The clerk raised an eyebrow when he deposited all the items down, catching the bottle of NyQuil as it threatened to roll off the edge. “You take card?”
“Yeah.”
Dean pushed the items closer and shot the clerk a look. The clerk sighed as he began to scan each time and bag it beside him.
While he was still ringing up the supplies, Cas appeared from the bathroom almost looking worse than when he went in. His nose was red and raw, his eyes appearing puffy. He breathed noisily through his mouth while his frame seemed even smaller than before. If Dean didn’t know any better, he’d say that Cas had caught himself the flu.
“That’ll be $52.30,” the cashier told him.
Dean’s eyes almost bugged out of his head. At least he had the peace of mind knowing that it wasn’t his money to spend. Best to shred this card after as that card would probably flag. Still, Dean swiped it without a second thought as he reached for Cas’s drink and shoved it against his chest. Cas struggled not to drop it, eyes listless as he stared at the offered drink before taking a long sip.
The rest of the items were bagged and handed over. Dean gave a slight nod before turning and resting a hand on Cas’s back as the angel continued slurping down the drink. “Might want to take it easy there,” Dean suggested, steering Cas to the door. “Don’t want to get a brain freeze.”
Cas eyed his drink quizzically. “I did not realize that drink could cause such troubles to my brain.”
“No, not…..Just drink it slow, would ya?”
Cas shrugged and did as Dean asked, coughing softly as it cooled his irritated throat. Dean kept close by, not quite trusting Cas not to walk right in front of a car backing out or pulling up. Sure, Cas was capable, but in this almost bleary-like state, he was far from the supernatural being that Dean met in that barn.
They arrived back to the car to find Sam waiting for them. He let out an exasperated sigh when Dean held out the bag, rummaging around with a shake of his head. “Did you get any food?”
“I got Cas a drink.”
Sam stared past Dean to Cas, who was still sipping away at his frozen drink. “Okay, but did you get the rest of us anything to eat? Like you always do.”
Dean scratched the back of his neck.
“Fine,” Sam sighed. “I guess I’ll get the food, jerk.” He handed the bag back over to Dean as well as the keys.
“Yeah, yeah, bitch! Wait, Sammy!”
Sam turned from a few paces away from his brother.
“Don’t forget the pie,” he enunciated.
Sam rolled his eyes and turned, hands shoved into his jean pockets as he strolled into the gas station in search of food.
Dean let him go, motioning for Cas to head to the backseat. Before Dean could force Cas in, the angel let out a yelp of pain and grasped his head with one hand, pain flashing on his face. “Dean,” he cried. “My brain is freezing!”
“That’s not quite what it…..” Dean gave his head a shake and took Cas’s drink before he could drop it. “Just give it a second and it’ll pass. Now, sit.”
Cas did so without complaint, still rubbing a fist furiously against his forehead. He looked up at Dean expectantly as he handed back his drink while also pouring a generous amount of liquid in a small cup and passed it over. Cas took it from Dean and observed it as the thick liquid sloshed around the sides.
Dean struggled not to grumble to himself. “You have to drink it, Cas.”
“And what does it taste like?”
“Ass. That’s what you have a chaser.”
From the look on Cas’s face, Dean realized that the dark haired man didn’t understand a single part of that sentence. Beating him to another question, Dean helped lift Cas’s hand—which was still holding the small cup—and waited until Cas complied and drank it all down without complaint. He made a face of disgust and Dean traded the cup for the drink and watched Cas take a few greedy sips,
“That should make you feel better, and hopefully sleep,” Dean commented as he tossed the liquid medicine back into the bag for later.
Cas sat up a little straighter. A fiery look caught in his eyes and Dean recalled how strong Cas really was. “I don’t require sleep, Dean.”
Dean eyed him up and down thoughtfully. “Sure. That’s the reason you slept nearly the entire way here.”
A troubled look passed over Cas’s face. He seemed to ponder it for a while before staring back up at Dean expectantly, as if he held all the answers to every question. “I slept?”
Dean knelt down beside him as he pulled out a box of tissues and set it beside Cas’s leg. “I hate to break it to ya, but if you can catch a cold, you can certainly sleep. Maybe your grace is a little more spent than you thought.”
Cas appeared to freeze in sudden panic. His hands clenched to fists over his knees as he grew rigid. He didn’t go so far as hyperventilating, though Dean wasn’t about to give him enough time to get there.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Dean began as he reached out and slapped Cas’s knee. “Being human ain’t that bad, you know. Take this as an opportunity to lay low and experience some of the joys of being human.”
Cas’s face suddenly crumpled and his nose gave a telltale scrunch. Although new, Dean had seen this very expression far too many times that night. It seemed the feeling came on too soon for to Cas to react besides bowing his head forward against his chest. “TshshSh! TshshSH! TsshsHS! TsHSH!” Cas lifted his head, nostrils flaring to show that he was far from done. Dean ripped the cardboard cover from the new tissue box and pulled out a few, pressing them into Cas’s hand as there was no way Cas was about to do that on his own.
Panting, Cas looked at Dean through teary eyes. Despite himself, Dean felt a rush of sympathy. How would he feel if he was in Cas’s position? He hoped he wouldn’t be as bumbling as the angel seemed to be, though he couldn’t say for certain.
“Breathe. Don’t fight it. Just let it happen.”
Cas managed a partial groan, which seemed to be all it took to ignite the itch once more. “TshsSh! TshshSh! TshsSH!” He let out another breathless pant, tissues still held aimlessly in his hand.
“For the love of…..” Dean took Cas by the wrist and forced the tissues in front of his face. “Into these, man. C’mon, I know you’ve had to see Sam and I do this before.”
“TshchsSH! ItsHCSH!” Two messy sneezes were the only answer Dean received, although able to sneeze into them, he seemed at a loss for what to do next.
“Are all angels like this when they lose a bit of grace,” Dean muttered to himself. Somehow he doubted that was the case. Cas was—well—-Cas. That same thing that made him align with his charges was perhaps also what made him susceptible to being in this predicament. “You have to blow, Cas.”
Cas’s attempt at blowing his nose went about as well as Dean expected. He felt like he was going to die of embarrassment as he attempted to walk Cas through in it a better way, nearly all irritation melting away when Cas fixed him with those brilliant blue eyes, milky with discomfort.
Dean suddenly wished he had gotten an actual blanket or something besides medication to make Cas comfortable as well as a thermometer to see if he was rocking a fever. He was half tempted to check Cas for a fever the old fashioned way, though until the angel complained about it, Dean didn’t want to subject him to anymore poking and prodding than he needed. Explaining a fever to him would also try his patience and he didn’t want to snap at Cas just because they both were getting tired.
“Are you cold,” Dean felt himself asking.
“Angels should not be effected by temperatures.”
“Okay, sure, but say that they would. Are you cold?”
Cas opened his mouth to answer when a fierce shiver raked his entire body. His head was forced down into his shoulders against his will, teeth beginning to chatter.
“Just as I thought.” Dean sighed as he reached for the sweatshirt that Cas had been using as a pillow and offered it to the sick angel. “Here. Put this one.”
Cas stared from the sweatshirt to his trench coat, and back to the sweatshirt again. When he finally took the sweatshirt, he pulled it on over his trench coat he was already wearing. Dean was about to protest only to stop himself when he saw Cas relax into the warmth.
“Alright, now you have your drink and the tissues. Do you need anything else,” Dean asked, wishing to cover every base. An array of cough drops and a nasal sprays were also in the bag, though he didn’t want to overwhelm Cas by resorting to them right away.
“No, Dean.”
Dean was almost certain that Cas either didn’t know what he needed, or would be uncomfortable enough to ask for it. Being this vulnerable in front of humans had to be demoralizing. He didn’t press him on it, noticing that Cas’s eyes were already threatening to close.
“Just let Sam or I know if you need something,” Dean told him as he saw Sam returning with another plastic bag, hopefully containing something to eat.
The only response Dean was given was an exhausted and grating cough. Dean took that as the answer that it was and closed the door, attempting to block out the pitiful look that the dark haired man had given him.
Dean then climbed back into the driver’s side with Sam in the passenger. Sam reached into the bag and pulled out a sandwich and chips. It may not have been the best dinner Dean ever had, but it was food and would keep him going for the next couple hours. After taking a bite of his sandwich, Dean pivoted to glance to the back. “Cas, you want something to eat?”
“I do not require food, Dean,” Cas replied stuffily.
“If you can sleep and get sick, something tells me you can eat. Let me know if you change your mind.” Dean took another ravenous bite, followed by a handful of barbecue chips.
Once Dean indulged in a few bites, he started back on the road into the lingering darkness. Every so often he would look at the rear view mirror, expecting to find Cas staring out the window as he tended to do when he was forced to be in the Impala. This time, however, Dean could already see him slumping with the drink tucked tightly to his chest while his used tissues fell onto the floor.
“I’m surprised you’re not bitching at him,” Sam commented once he had swallowed a mouthful of his own salad.
Dean shrugged. “What is that going to do? He’s sick and confused. Just let the man be.”
“Huh, and I thought I was the only one that could unlock your soft spot. Looks like I was mistaken.”
“Shut up! It’s not like that. He’s done enough for us already that I want to repay the favor is all. Don’t make this into some kind of chick-flick moment, Sammy.” Dean hoped his voice sounded as even as usual. The last thing he wanted was to invite Sam to offer anymore thoughts like that, especially when Cas still may be able to hear them.
Sam finished his sandwich and threw the plastic wrap in their makeshift trash from one of the plastic bags from the gas station. “And you think that a roadtrip is the best place for him to be right now?”
“I’d hardly call this a ‘roadtrip’. And even if it was, his best bet is with us. Do you really think he would make it right now on his own?”
“He’s not a child, Dean. He’s more than capable.”
“I know that, but….for now we can use him. It’s not like it can hurt,” he muttered, expecting Sam to immediately have an argument. When his brother remained strangely quiet, Dean shifted around in his seat. “Just give him a bit to rebound. Then he’ll really be an asset.”
“If you say so, Dean.”
Dean wouldn’t admit that he secretly enjoyed having the angel around, even if he was at less than his best. There was just something about it, and he hoped that one day he would figure out what this feeling was, and what that meant for his friendship with Castiel.