Archive of Our Own

Atsushi Nakajima was no stranger to fear. In just two short years working for the Agency he’d been targeted by the mafia multiple times, kidnapped by a billionaire, and framed as a terrorist. Even before then, his life at the orphanage had no shortage of terror and pain. And despite being labelled the Agencies ‘coward of the East’, one would hope and even assume that his fear had been significantly dissuaded after these many harrowing experiences. In some regards that is certainly true. Atsushi faces his problems head on now, granted with shaking hands. Either way fear is no longer the be all and end all that it once was. At least that’s what he’d previously thought. Now though, fear had once again reared its ugly head as Atsushi was preparing to face down his next world ending foe; his own feelings. Pathetic as it may seem, a crush was the last thing Atsushi expected to struggle with in his life. As a result, any and all surrounding anxiety seemed to have doubled, if not even tripled. Atsushi’s main problem at the minute revolved around how to actually approach his feelings. 

Oh yeah he hasn’t actually mentioned who he’s crushing on yet has he. See, therein lies another conundrum. It isn’t just one person but two. Not to mention the duo in question are quite possibly some of the most intimidating people in all of Yokohama. To state the obvious, the people we’re discussing here are of course Akutagawa and Lucy. It’s one thing to have a crush on one aggressive, rage-prone, slightly unhinged, murderous psychopath. But two? Yeah, Atsushi was done for. Ultimately this was not a problem he could solve on his own. Although his anxious self-deprecating self had grown more confident over the years, he was still a nervous soul at heart. Not to mention the lack of basically any relationship experience. So yes, maybe some gentle guidance was in order. The real problem was who could actually help.

Atsushi’s usual confidant for situations like this was Kyouka. She was blunt, to the point and unafraid to tell Atsushi when he was being a nervous wreck for no reason. Unfortunately, that might not hold true now. Being only fourteen and having spent basically all of her teens in the mafia, Kyouka was perhaps not the most knowledgeable when it came to romance. In fact, this was probably one of the only times that Kyouka was even less suited for a task than Atsushi himself. Kyouka was out then.

The next person that came to mind was Dazai. Another immediate no. Dazai was a master of emotional manipulation for sure but his actual ability to express emotions? Once again Atsushi scores another point over one of his Agency members. Not to mention Dazai would absolutely tease the ever loving shit out of him for something like this. Nevermind Akutagawa’s… complicated relationship with Dazai. Besides considering the actual shit show that was Dazai’s relationship with Chuuya… yeah no. Atsushi would sooner seek relationship advice from Chuuya himself (you know, if he wasn’t so terrifying). The more Atsushi thought about it the more he realised that Dazai is probably the last person he should go to about his feelings. 

Kunikida was technically also an option. Considering his own ideals about relationships though, Atsushi didn’t think he could offer any advice that would actually be helpful in his particular pursuit. He would also absolutely receive an earful for trying to pursue a relationship with not only a former Guild member but a current mafia member. 

Ranpo was out for similar reasons to Dazai. For one he would never let Atsushi live it down. The embarrassment would probably be his undoing. Also Ranpo was a little unconventional when it came to relationships. Atsushi had long since stopped trying to understand Ranpo’s own relationship with Poe. It worked for them and that was fine. But he presumed that Akutagawa and Lucy would appreciate a more straightforward approach to romance. Not to mention the very real possibility that Rampo would just fuck with him instead of offering real advice.

Kenji was an absolute sweetheart and definitely the most openly affectionate member of the Agency. However, like Kyouka he was only fourteen. Not to mention Atsushi could already guess the type of advice he’d give. A straightforward and honest confession, probably involving a lot of flowers and teddies. Yeah Atsushi did not think his weak heart could handle something like that.

As for Tanizaki and Naomi… perhaps the less said about them the better. 

That only left Fukuzawa. Logically it wasn’t a bad option. Not by far. Atsushi would still rather eat his own foot than ever go to the President for something like this. There were some lines he was still too scared to cross and that was perfectly fine. 

It appeared that Atsushi was well and truly screwed. 

Atsushi sighed for the hundredth time that afternoon. His earlier musings had left him drained and despondent. So much so that he found himself wandering down to Cafe Uzumaki for a little pick me up. The atmosphere there was always comforting, especially during moments like these. Although not a frequent coffee drinker, Atsushi often found himself here during his breaks, basking in the familiar and peaceful atmosphere. Peace that was abruptly shattered as a cup was unceremoniously slammed onto the table. He couldn’t help but yelp as Atsushi looked up at his aggressor. There he was met with striking red hair, piercing green eyes and a familiar scowl; Lucy. Whether it be her sudden appearance or the lingering fragments of his earlier thoughts Atsushi found himself struggling to contain a blush. God he was so embarrassing. Thankfully Lucy simply raised an eyebrow at his strange expression before sliding into the booth opposite. The silence was palpable. Lucy was busy scrutinising him with an unreadable expression that, quite frankly, was starting to freak Atsushi out. Desperate to break the tension, he took a sip of whatever drink had been so aggressively provided. It was a mocha. The sweetness of the chocolate helped cancel out the usual bitter coffee taste. 

Finally, Lucy took it upon herself to break the silence in her usual blunt manner. “What’s been up with you lately?”

Uh oh. Perhaps Atsushi hadn’t been as slick as he’d hoped. Or maybe Lucy was just far more observant than he gave her credit for. Either way some form of answer was in order. His most immediate thought was to lie. Obviously Atsushi couldn’t very well tell Lucy his emotionally stunted coworkers were impeding his ability to ask her out. That was a whole new level of stupid and sad. It did suck though. Lucy was inarguably one of his closest friends and their eerily similar histories meant they understood each other very well. Sometimes a little too well but that was a problem for another time. If anything, that probably made her the best candidate on who to ask for advice. He couldn’t for obvious reasons, still though it was incredibly annoying. His best hope was sitting right across from him but it’s not like he could ask Lucy how to ask herself out. 

Although… That thought did give him pause. Technically speaking, it’s not just about asking Lucy out is it. Atsushi is equally as stumped when it comes to Akutagawa. As earlier established, Lucy and Akutagawa are (terrifyingly) similar. While that did make his type embarrassingly obvious it could also play into his favour here. Lucy would probably know exactly what to do in this situation. Plus he could still be vague enough to keep her off the trail as to who exactly he was thinking of. If she somehow prematurely discovered his feelings for her… he shuddered at the thought. No, he could do this. Subtlety of course, he didn’t want to reveal his hand just yet. If Lucy learned about his feelings for Akutagawa too early that would probably be just as disastrous.

 As with most things, Atsushi decided to just dive in head first. “Um, actually I have been worrying about something. For a while now in fact. Maybe… maybe you’d be able to help?”

Lucy’s eyebrows shot up at that, clearly not anticipating such an honest response. Recovering quickly a smug smirk appeared on her face. “I knew something was up with you. I always know when you’re acting all moppy and shit. Of course you want my help with it. Honestly, I’m not just at your beck and call whenever you want you know. I have my own life, thank you very much. Maybe this time around I won’t help you, what would you do then huh?”

Atsushi could see the bluff a mile away. Quite honestly it was incredibly endearing. He would even say cute if he didn’t think Lucy would have his head for that. 

“Ah haha, that would be a problem because honestly I’m really at a loss right now and could definitely do with your help. You're way smarter than me so I would really appreciate it if you could find it in your heart to lend me a hand..?” He responded quickly, holding back a smile of his own. 

Lucy’s face lit up and that sight alone was enough to make the slight embarrassment that came along with such obvious self-deprecation all the more worth it. She quickly schooled her expression before turning her nose up and replying. “Oh go on then. I’m on my break right now so I suppose I can spare the time to help with whatever moronic shit you come up with. What’s got your knickers in a twist this time then?”

“Well… please don’t make a big deal about it but. I kind of need some romantic advice.” Oh god his face was rapidly heating up. The mortification was worse than previously predicted. 

In contrast to his own inner turmoil, Lucy’s face had lit up tenfold. That at least gave him the courage to power through. “So like, there’s this… person… that I’ve known for a while now. We didn’t exactly meet under the best circumstances. In fact we were pretty much enemies for a long time. At first I hated them. But then we were forced to work together and since then, I dunno, I’ve kind of started viewing them in a different way. We’re technically rivals but I can’t help but feel excited whenever we meet. It’s just really hard to tell what he feels about the whole situation though.” For some reason Lucy’s face fell at that last part. Atsushi was about to ask what was wrong before she recovered quickly, a new smile taking over. It didn’t quite meet her eyes this time. 

“Ha I knew this was gonna be about something stupid. The obvious answer is to just be a straight forward dumbass. They sound like they wouldn’t appreciate you beating around the bush like a hormonal teenager. I mean if it was me… nevermind, just be honest Atsushi”. Her tone was unusually clipped for a reason Atsushi couldn’t discern. 

With that Lucy abruptly stood announcing that her break was over. Atsushi frowned, knowing for sure that wasn’t true. Whenever there was time to spare he would join Lucy for her lunch breaks. They had never been this short even when the cafe was particularly busy. Before he could protest, however, Lucy was already gone in a swirl of red. 

Atsushi sat for a minute, dumbfounded before shaking his head. There was probably nothing to worry about. It wouldn’t be the first time Lucy had abruptly cut their conversations short for one reason or another. Besides, he'd already gotten what he wanted. He was fairly confident that Lucy’s advice would hold true, so long as Akutagawa actually heard him out for long enough without trying to take his head off.

Despite that, the abrupt end to their conversation still whirled around in Atsushi’s head as he made his way back up to the office. Not to mention Lucy’s odd behaviour towards the end of the interaction… Whatever, it was probably just his anxiety acting up again. 

The rest of the day had played off relatively normal. Well, as normal as life in the Agency could possibly be. Dazai had once again disrupted the calm of the office with another attempt, this time by trying to pitch himself from the Agency window. Nevermind the fact that the fall was very unlikely to be long enough to actually kill a person. He had also unintentionally (or maybe intentionally, it was impossible to tell with Dazai) knocked into a stack of documents on Haruno’s desk causing them to spill out the window onto the street below. This of course had caused Kunikida to fly into a murderous rage. The ensuing destruction was enough to warrant the rest of the office turning in for the day an hour early. Normally Atsushi would go straight back to the dorms to have dinner with Kyouka but Yosano had grabbed the girl earlier to go clothes shopping. No doubt the two would not be back till very late in the evening. That’s how Atsushi found himself with an uncharacteristically peaceful moment to himself, wandering the streets of Yokohama. 

He had to admit that in the late evening glow (and without fear of being kidnapped or murdered) the city was remarkably beautiful. The soft glow from the street lights swamped the streets in a warm atmosphere. Not to mention the relaxing hum of cicadas hidden amongst the few trees. Atsushi had gravitated towards a residential area leading to a much quieter atmosphere than would usually be found in a bustling port city. Nothing would possibly be able to break this peaceful bubble. Nothing except the sudden sound of a growling stomach. Pulling out his phone, Atsushi noted with surprise that it was almost eight o’clock. Perhaps he’d gotten slightly too lost in thought during his wanderings. Oh well, time to find the nearest source of food. If he was remembering correctly there was some sort of convenience store a few streets back. Yep, there it was, right on the corner of the next street.

With a small hun of satisfaction Atsushi entered the store. It looked relatively cheap which was always a bonus when on an Agency pay check. He’s eternally grateful to be a part of the Agency but Jesus could they stand to bump up their salaries just a little. As Atsushi browsed the snack aisle lost in thought he caught a flash of black out of the corner of his eye. It couldn’t possibly be… no that would be too much of a coincidence. Besides what would Akutagawa be doing in a cheap corner store on a random housing block. Yet as Atsushi rounded the corner that led to the cashier, food completely forgotten at his point, there was Akutagawa. 

“What the hell are you doing here!?” Atsushi couldn’t help the cry that he let out upon this revelation.

Akutagawa turned sharply and a tense silence descended. It was a testament to how far their relationship had come that neither party immediately jumped on the offensive. Despite Atsushi’s blossoming feelings, habits die hard sometimes. Granted, Akutagawa was sporting an impressively disgruntled expression. Still, progress was progress. 

It was then that Atsushi noticed the frankly absurd number of grocery bags the other was sporting. The sight was so outlandish he couldn’t help but fully drop his already diminished guard. “Dude, are you feeding an army or something?”

Akutagawa looked at him incredulously. “Come now Jinko, I already knew you were a fool but this is a new low. I do need food to survive, you know.”

“Well it’s not like I’ve ever seen you eat!”

It was a pathetic defence but Akutagawa always had a way of bringing out his more childish side. Akutagawa merely shrugged before moving to shove past Atsushi, bags in hand. It was then that Atsushi noticed his slight limp. It was barely even there, probably unnoticeable to most. However, Atsushi had been partnered up with Akutagawa increasingly often lately, enough so to start recognising his tells. Not to mention the laser sharp tiger eyes. 

It was probably nothing serious, likely just a rough fight with a rival group. The mafia was a dangerous environment and Atsushi wasn’t naive. Still Atsushi was a softy at heart and he wasn’t about to let Akutagawa struggle unnecessarily. Besides, Lucy had told him to be more forward and that was what he intended to do. Rushing out of the store, Atsushi made to follow Akutagawa. The fact that he’d barely made his way to the opposite side of the street validated Atsushi’s concerns. 

Akutagawa gave him a questioning look as he heard Atsushi’s approach. Without a word Atsushi snatched half the bags from his arms. If not for the sheer shock at the action there would have been far more protests. As it was, Akutagawa merely stood staring blankly at Atsushi.

“Just what do you think you're doing Jinko?” He asked incredulously. 

“What does it look like I’m doing? Helping you obviously. Where are you headed? If it’s too far I can take the other bags too” The affronted look Akutagawa gave Atsushi was almost comical.

“ Where am I headed? As if I’d ever tell you that. Give me my bags back this instant Jinko. I do not need help, especially from the likes of you.”

Akutagawa moved to snatch his bags back but Atsushi, anticipating this, had already moved further down the street. “Look this is happening whether you like it or not so you might as well get that stick out of your ass and let me help.” he called over his shoulder.

Akutagawa didn’t immediately respond. It was clear that Atsushi was not going to let this go so easily. Akutagawa might be stubborn but Atsushi could just as easily match that stubbornness tenfold. Not to mention that admittedly his shoulder had become a lot less stiff without the extra weight. Still he wasn’t about to give up that easily…

“Fine do whatever you want then.” Shouldering past, Akutagawa continued his walk down the empty streets. Satisfied with his aparant victory, Atsushi followed silently after.

Despite the lack of conversation, the walk wasn’t uncomfortable. In fact the quiet atmosphere that fell over the two was almost peaceful. Akutagawa had never been much of a talker and despite Atsushi’s own blabbing tendencies, he appreciated these moments of comfortable silence. 

Ten minutes later the pair passed through a gate into a pretty, if not slightly overgrown, public park. Akutagawa walked over to a frankly decrepit old bench, placing his bags down and taking a seat. Now it was Atsushi’s turn to be confused. Surely this wasn’t Akutagawa’s originally intended destination. He voiced as much out loud. Akutagawa broke out into what could only be described as a playful grin that caused Atsushi’s heart to stutter.

“I told you I would not tell you where I was headed. It’s not my fault if your selective hearing failed you Jinko.” Atsushi couldn’t help the surprised laugh that broke out at that. Leading him to a park just to spite him. It was such a childish move. Yet the lighthearted nature of the action made Atsushi’s heart soar once again. With the amount of abuse his heart was taking today it was a miracle he hadn’t gone into cardiac arrest yet. Jesus these two would be the death of him.

Placing down his own load of bags, Atsushi took the seat next to Akutagawa. That comfortable silence descended once again. Surprisingly it was Akutagawa that chose to break it first. 

“I understand why your misguided chivalry might invoke you to help a sworn enemy with his bags. But what were you even doing in that shop in the first place? As far as I’m aware we are nowhere near your sorry excuse for a home right now. Unless of course the Agency has finally seen reason and chosen to cut their losses.” Luckily that last part came out more playful than cutting. Atsushi really didn’t want to break the peaceful moment with a fight. 

Lucy’s earlier advice was still playing in his head so he opted to answer honestly once again. “Haha, very funny. We actually got off work early if you must know. I’ve had a lot on my mind today and I guess I thought a good walk would help clear my head.”

“Of course, I should have guessed. You always are such a frivolous sentimentalist. No doubt anything troubling you is an inane waste of time.” Akutagawa replied easily. 

Was that a hint of interest? Atsushi would be the first to say that Akutagawa was a difficult person to read. He rarely said his mind, at least when it didn’t pertain to his hatred for Atsushi. After working together for so long though it had become necessary to try and discern meaning from vocal tones and body language. Not to toot his own horn but Atsushi had become kind of an expert at it by this point. As such, he was about eighty percent certain that yes, Akutagawa was in fact attempting to get Atsushi to reveal his problems in his own roundabout way.

Therein lay the problem. How exactly to answer. Much like with Lucy, Atsushi was not all that willing to divulge his feelings just yet. The situation was complicated and as such a confession of any sort should really involve all three parties present. That being said, Atsushi wasn’t even sure if Lucy and Akutagawa had actually met before. He knew for sure Lucy knows of Akutagawa simply from the amount of times Atsushi has complained to her about the mafioso. As for Akutagawa - Whatever, that’s honestly a problem for another day. Back to the topic at hand.

In an inspired spark of brilliance Atsushi knew what he had to do. If he couldn’t talk to Akutagawa about Akutagawa he could certainly talk to him about Lucy, right? It had worked out perfectly before. Granted the two had a much less conversational relationship but that was fine. First time for everything right. 

“I’m sure it’ll probably seem a waste of time to you but actually yes there is something troubling me. Something pretty important too. And since you seem oh so ready to judge my problems then I think it’s only fair that you hear me out.” He took in a large breath. It was now or never. “So basically… I’ve kind of been dealing with these… feelings… for someone. I guess you could call it a crush. Well, wait no, not a crush. That’s so childish and like, I really really like this person so like..”

God he was blowing this. Hard. Being vulnerable with Akutagawa was way harder than with Lucy. “Okay okay, wait. Let me start over.” Taking yet another deep breath, Atsushi pushed on. He could do this.

“There is this person that I’m pretty close to. We’re pretty similar in a lot of ways, especially when it comes to our pasts. I guess I’ve always felt this kind of connection with them, you know. We definitely didn’t get along at first but lately things have been different. We’ve started working together, at least sometimes. Because of that I’ve come to realise that maybe I like them more than as just a friend. The problem is how to tell them. I’m not good with words and they’re… well let’s just say not the most patient person in the world. They’re hot headed, aggressive and could kick my ass if they wanted to but honestly that’s probably what I like about them most.” Focus Atsushi, no getting sidetracked. “An-anyway that’s not what’s important. What matters is I have no clue how to tell them all that. You probably think it’s pretty stupid but I just… I really care about her. So yeah, that’s it. You can laugh now or whatever.” 

As he came to the end of his speech Atsushi finally looked up and was immediately taken aback. Akutagawa’s face had twisted into an indeterminable but definitely uncomfortable expression. Atsushi instantly started to panic. Maybe this had been a stupid idea after all. He’d gotten so worked up with his earlier success that he’d forgotten what their current relationship actually was; rivals at best, enemies at worst. Heartfelt, emotional conversations had no place between them. 

Just as he was about to try and salvage the mess he’d made, Akutagawa spoke up; “Well I was right. That is a stupid problem but I suppose it suits an idiot like you. Honestly, are you so much of a coward that you can’t be honest with the people you care about? Don’t sit on your ass and wait around for them to get swept off their feet by someone else. You’ll definitely regret it.”

That last sentence was said with such melancholy that honestly Atsushi didn’t know how to respond. Before he could Akutagawa was already on his feet, bags back in hand. Atsushi moved to help but before he could Akutagawa barked at him; “Don’t! I’m serious this time”

The bite in his tone left no room for argument. Without any further preamble he was gone. Atsushi stood stock still for a moment, extremely confused by the whole situation. On one hand Akutagawa’s anger as he left was perfectly normal for them. The genuine advice beforehand though? Like with Lucy, Atsushi was left with the distinct impression that perhaps he had done something wrong. This time though, that feeling was even harder to ignore. 

The Akutagawa residence had been picked for function over comfort. While not the nicest house in the world, it served its purpose. It was a place for sleeping and eating, nothing more really. A short commute from the mafia headquarters with a convenience store nearby. Not to mention the bedrooms were just sizeable enough to accommodate for any small personalisation the siblings wanted. With a considerable income coming from both parties, rent was a non-issue. All in all, Gin was quite satisfied with their little house. It wasn’t the lap of luxury but it certainly wasn’t the slums either. If anything she’d actually grown fond of their home. Privacy suited them well and it was one of the few places that she could actually relax and spend time with her brother.

Speaking of, Ryu really should have been back by now. Granted, the amount of groceries he’d been sent to fetch was quite a bit more substantial than usual (back to back missions had left both siblings little time for a weekly shop). Still it should not have taken any longer than half an hour at most. Gin wasn’t worried per se. Ryu had proven time and time again that he was quite difficult to put down. Still though, he wasn’t usually a distractible person. Besides it was well past dinner and the assassin hadn’t had anything to eat since lunch. 

As if sensing her thoughts, the sound of a key turning permeated the silence. A few moments later a mop of raven hair appeared in the doorway sporting a frankly absurd amount of bags.

“Welcome back,” Gin greeted, a small smile gracing her lips.

It was then that she noticed the sour disposition her brother was sporting. That definitely wasn’t out of the ordinary. Ryu had a mean pessimistic streak. Still, he’d been perfectly content earlier that day and she sincerely doubted Sato, the old man that ran their local store, could have possibly done anything to piss him off this much. In fact, there was pretty much only one person in the world that inspired this particular breed of irritation. Gin was, of course, dying to know how Atsushi could possibly have become involved with her brother’s late night shopping trip. 

“Did you manage to get everything?” Better to start off mundane rather than launching into an interrogation. Ryu had a stubborn habit of closing up, even with her. Ryu simply nodded his assent. 

Moving to help with some of the shopping, the two made their way into the kitchen. A brief moment of silence descended as the shopping was put away. Once finished Gin turned towards the stove to put on a quick dinner as Ryu took a seat at the table. To be honest, Ryu was much better at cooking, but he was definitely not in the mood tonight. Besides, it was already late so there was no sense in making a full meal. Something small would get them through the night. 

It wasn’t until they were both seated that Gin finally decided to break the silence. “So, did you have any problems at the store?”

Ryu paused spoon halfway towards his mouth. Lack of directness was a trait the siblings shared. A knock-on effect from their similarly closed off nature, no doubt. It led to a weird cat and mouse approach whenever there was something they were hesitant to share. Reading between the lines he quickly discerned what Gin was actually asking him. 

“Not really. I just decided to take the long way home tonight.” It was an evasive response that Gin recognised easily. Well if that’s how he wanted to play it. Gin was perfectly content with stepping up her game. Stubbornness was another Akutagawa specialty.

“Hm really. I would have thought that after such a long day you would have preferred to get home quicker. Something distracting you on the way back? Or perhaps someone?”

“No, don’t be ridiculous.” The response was slightly hesitant. Ryu glowered, no doubt praying that she wouldn’t have picked up on that slight slip. Sadly, whatever emotional intelligence he lacked, Gin more than happily made up for. Almost instantaneously she had confirmed the reason for his sour mood.  

“It wouldn’t happen to have had anything to do with Nakajima would it?”

Impossibly Ryu’s glare seemed to intensify even further. Gin struggled to hide her laugh. Her brother’s ongoing crush on the weretiger had been a major source of teasing for months now. Really, she owed the Agency member a lot. She hadn’t had this much fun in years. Now though, it was time to properly work out what the current issue is. Despite outward appearances, Gin prided herself on being an excellent sister. 

“Are you going to tell me what happened or do I have to work that out myself too?”

Ryu seemed to be at war with himself. Gin could understand of course. On one hand the siblings pretty much only had each other to rely on in situations such as this. On the other hand, the mortification of talking about his feelings could straight up kill Ryu. With no desire to rush him, Gin continued to eat in silence. Eventually Ryu seemed to make up his mind and began to speak.

“I ran into Jinko at the store. He was annoyingly persistent about helping me with my bags for whatever reason. No doubt just another way to try to flaunt his supposed superiority. Whatever, it’s unimportant. Of course I wasn’t about to bring him back here. Instead we went towards the park and then… well we had a conversation I suppose.”

Ryu trailed off at that. Honestly Gin was a little surprised. This was not at all what she was expecting. Discussions revolving around Atsushi were never quite so subdued. Usually Ryu would rant about some fight the two had or some way the Jinko had pissed him off that day. A lot more cursing was typically involved. A night time walk and chat at the park? Yeah, that was definitely out of the norm. Honestly, Gin was beginning to feel a little out of her depth. Still though it was clear that something was eating her brother up inside and she wasn’t going to stop until she found out what.

“Do you want to tell me what you talked about?”

Ryu scoffed before answering; “He was an overly emotional mess. Wanted some advice about how to ask out his crush or whatever. Honestly, what a sentimental fool. Probably only asked me because I was there. Always been impulsive like that.”

Oh. Oh no. This was definitely a lot more serious than Gin had initially thought. 

“Did he… happen to mention who this other person was?”

“Not by name, no. He painted a pretty clear picture though. Hot headed, aggressive and with a penchant for violence it seems.”

Hope dared to worm its way into Gin’s heart. “I mean, that sounds pretty familiar doesn’t it?”

“Speak for yourself, I am the pinnacle of patience and restraint I’ll have you know.”

“Uh huh.”

“Gin-”

“I’m just saying.”

“He said ‘she’ Gin.”

Well fuck. That small sliver of hope swiftly died. Gin was fully at a loss now. A little panicked too in all honesty. This was completely uncharted territory. Sure there were many times she’d had to console a drunken Tachihara as he cried about his unrequited crush on Chuuya, but that was different. For one, Tachihara’s feelings were far from serious. Pretty much everyone at the mafia had a small crush on Chuuya, both Akutagawa siblings included. There was also the fact that this was her brother. No offence to Tachihara but she was a lot more invested in Ryu’s emotional wellbeing than his. Not to mention Ryu’s feelings ran pretty deep. A broken heart was not something she’d ever had to deal with before. Serious consolation was definitely not her strong suit. Yet the openly hurt expression that now graced her brother’s face was tearing her apart. She knew she needed to say something. She just didn’t know what. 

Before she could decide, Ryu once again beat her to it. “Don’t worry about it. If Jinko wants to go ask some girl out then that’s fine by me. If anything, maybe that’ll get him out of my hair for good. Seriously, I’m fine .”

“You know you don’t have to be, right? It’s okay to be upset over this. It doesn’t make you any weaker despite what you probably think. If anything, being able to acknowledge and accept those feelings would make you stronger. Besides, it's just me. It’s okay to be honest.”

That gave him pause. Finally for the first time that night a genuine smile worked its way onto her brother's face. “Thank you.”

With that Ryu excused himself from the table and made his way to bed. Gin let him go. No doubt today had been a lot emotionally. He probably needed the time alone to sort through his own feelings. Honestly Gin was just as happy to be alone. Finally a moment to breathe. That had been a way heavier dinner than expected. There didn’t seem to be much more to do about it now though. She’d just had to keep a closer eye on Ryu in the next few days. What she did know for sure is that the next time she saw that weretiger it was on sight.

Lucy was definitely not avoiding Atsushi. Avoiding would mean that she was scared to see him or something. Scared of him. That could not be further from the truth. She just needed a little break from seeing his annoying face everyday. Lucy obviously wasn’t scared to see him after their last conversation. She wasn’t heartbroken with what he’d unintentionally revealed. She was perfectly fine. Just needed some time alone. 

Annoyingly, avoiding Atsushi was no easy feat. Outside work hours wasn't too bad. Although they often ate dinner together, Kyouka was usually also present so that was less of an issue. Working in the same building, however, was challenging. It was only now that she was noticing that they spent pretty much every lunch break together. As a result, Lucy had found herself wandering the streets of Yokohama, sandwich in hand and scowl on her face.

How could that pathetic idiot be so foolish! It’s his fault that she was stuck wandering around like a friendless loser on a Wednesday instead of sitting down at her usual table with a hot latte. Sure she could have gotten one to go, but a flash of grey hair at the cafe entrance had her scrabbling to escape out the back. God damn Atsushi and his co-dependency. Not to mention the cold. Mid October in Yokohama was no joke. Okay, granted winters in Toronto knocked this out of the park but still. It’s a matter of principle! Grumbling to herself, Lucy found an empty bench by the pier and slumped down. If she was being honest with herself, she was the one acting pathetic right now. Moping around and avoiding uncomfortable feelings just because her crush didn’t like her back. It was unbearably childish. Although maybe she deserved to be a bit childish sometimes. It’s not everyday you get your heart ripped out after all. 

When Atsushi had first started to describe his mystery person Lucy had been delusional enough to hope. It seemed familiar enough at first. Then came that dreaded he . If anything it sounded more like a slip of the tongue than intentionally revealed. Lucy supposed that made sense. Atsushi probably wanted to keep the object of his affections to himself for the time being. He had always been a nervous guy. Then Lucy had been stupid enough to actually give him advice.

Aghhhh. She’d grown too soft. It was definitely the influence of those stupid Agency members. They were all far too nice. Usually. To be honest sometimes they could even be more unhinged than her. Still Lucy had made her bed and now she had to be mature enough to lie in it.

Nah actually screw that. A sudden spark of rage saw Lucy throwing her remaining sandwich as hard as she could into the bay. Except it never actually hit the water. Instead it met with a wall of black fabric. The man wearing said fabric that was actually a coat turned, glare already plastered on his face. Naturally quick to anger and in a decidedly terrible mood, Lucy immediately matched his aggression.

“Why don’t you watch where you throw things?”

“Why don’t you watch where you're walking?”

They were at a momentary standstill. The man changed his stance as if ready to strike. 

Until, “Wait a minute, I know you. Aren’t you that mafia psycho? The one Atsushi’s always going on about. Octagon or whatever.”

Octagon’s face stiffened at that. Lucy would have clocked that as strange if she had been paying attention. Instead she was inadvertently plunged into inner turmoil. She had meant it when she said Atsushi was basically always talking about this guy. The comments that he so often made, they lined up suspiciously well with his ramble about his crush. Realistically this Octagon guy was the only feasible candidate. Lucy knew all of Atsushi’s friends and unless Tanizaki was a lot more sadistic when she wasn’t around, no one else could possibly fit. 

Well shit. 

On one hand, Lucy was glad to have solved the mystery. It made it strangely more bearable to have a face to the cause of her pain. On the other hand, she was absolutely not in the right frame of mind to be meeting the guy Atsushi chose over her. Like honestly what was this timing!? She’d had plenty of opportunities to meet this guy with the amount of life changing crises they’d been involved in. But no, they couldn’t have met while stopping another unimaginable evil attempting to level the city. That would be too easy.

“Akutagawa.” Lucy probably would have continued her internal spiral if she wasn’t interrupted.

“What?”

“My name. It’s Akutagawa. Although I wouldn’t expect a nobody like you to remember it. You’re that former Guild member correct? The one that made the fool hardy decision to align with the Agency. Montgomery if I recall.”

Lucy was already starting to see Atusshi’s point. This guy really did know how to get on your nerves. 

“It’s Lucy, asshole! You really like to run your mouth huh. Maybe Atsushi was right about your bark being worse than your bite.”

“Ha! I could say the same for you. I believe I recall Jinko mentioning your sharp tone and winning personality before.”

Now that gave Lucy pause. Atsushi’s talked about her before? Loathe to admit it, that knowledge made her heart flutter a moment. God she had it bad. Unfortunately, despite the blatant venom behind it, that comment had also taken the initial fight out of her. All that was left was a vaguely melancholic feeling. Why did it matter if Atsushi talked about her anyway? He’d made his choice and it was standing right in front of her. Lucy suddenly very much wanted out of this conversation.

“What are you doing here anyway huh? You should  be off levelling buildings or stealing candy from babies or whatever. Taking a break from all the murder for a nice mid-afternoon stroll are we?”

Despite the words, the fire from earlier just wasn’t present. Surprisingly, Akutagawa seemed to pick up on that. Must be more perceptive than he looked. 

“I won’t even dignify that with an answer. You’re lucky we’re in the middle of a truce with the Agency. I’d love to test the efficacy of that ability of yours against Rashoumon. For now I’ll save myself the headache and take my leave.”

Despite his words Akutagawa seemed to hesitate a moment, taking in Lucy from head to toe. “Um, can I help you?? Beat it creep if you know what’s good for you.”

Akutagawa turned away before answering. “It was intriguing to finally meet you Montgomery,” and with that, he was gone.

Lucy was honestly a little dumbfounded. Akutagawa, she decided, was a weirdo. Attractive sure, but with the personality of a particularly disgruntled pitbull. She’d love to ask Atsushi to explain in detail what the hell he saw in that guy. Well actually, on second thought maybe not. Checking her watch, Lucy sighed before getting up to make her way back to the cafe. That break had been a total failure at taking her mind off things. She could only hope tomorrow was better.

As was typical of late, the rest of Akutagawa’s day did not improve from its disastrous beginnings. First there was the afternoon meeting with Mori. Talking with the boss would put anyone on edge and Akutagawa was absolutely no exception. Then he was stuck doing paper work for the remainder of the day. He had hoped it would serve to take his mind off the Atsushi situation. Quite frankly, it had been a woeful distraction. By the time he’d made it home Akutagawa was bone-tired. 

Gin raised an eyebrow at his no doubt abysmal state. In the mirror he was met with a harrowing expression. Turning back to Gin, she motioned her hand to the chair opposite her. A silent invitation. For once Akutagawa didn’t need any further convincing. His earlier meeting with Montgomery had been strangely agitating, even for him. Not to mention it’s not like anything could be any more embarrassing than their conversation yesterday. Clearing his throat, he began.

“So. I met her today. The girl Jinko is pinning over,” he added, reading the confusion on his sister’s face.

“I see. How are you feeling about it?”

Wasn’t that the winning question?

“I’m… divided, I suppose. It was unexpected for one. It’s the Montgomery girl by the way, that former Guild member. She was an interesting sort. Jinko wasn’t wrong in his estimations. Despite only just meeting her, she has already managed to assault me with a sandwich. Not to mention her mouth is almost as foul as Chuuya’s.”

Akutagawa paused for a moment, noticing an odd glint in Gin’s eyes. Definitely not what he had been expecting. Better than pity but definitely more confusing.  “What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“Clearly you have something to say so out with it.”

“Nothing, it's just. You’re not usually this invested in someone you’ve just met. It’s unlike you I suppose.”

“What’s that supposed to mean exactly?”

“I’m just curious, is all. Was she pretty?”

Yes.

“Gin.”

She held up her hands in surrender. 

“I’m sorry. I know this is difficult for you. I’m here to listen whenever you need it.”

“I know. I appreciate it.”

He really did. Akutagawa didn’t have many certainties in his life but Gin would always be one. He trusted her with his life and, perhaps more importantly, his feelings. While not quite appreciating her insinuation, the talk did help unravel some of the complicated feelings swimming around in his head. Not fully of course. Still, some progress was better than none. Huh. When had he begun thinking that way? Damn, maybe Jinko really was rubbing off on him. Ultimately he came to the conclusion that maybe some air would do some good. Verbalising as much, Akutagawa made his way to the door. 

“Call if you need anything.”

“Of course”.

All in all, the walk did genuinely seem to help. Akutagawa awoke the next day with all thoughts of Jinko or Montgomery pushed from his mind. It stayed that way through the morning. Work was far too busy for any personal reflections at the moment. The start of lunch was similarly peaceful. So peaceful in fact that Akutagawa decided he would take the rare opportunity to go out to eat. It wasn’t until about ten minutes into his food that Akutagawa became aware of where exactly he was. It was the pier. The very same pier he’d met Montogmery with yesterday. In fact, if he wasn’t mistaken (and he seldom was) this was the exact same bench she had occupied yesterday. 

Somehow, subconsciously, he’d managed to end up at one of the two places he never wanted to visit again. Hanging his head in shame, Akutagawa could only groan. This was getting ridiculous. 

As if to prove his point, a voice he definitely did not want to hear at that moment interrupted. “Okay I was mostly joking yesterday when I called you a creep but seriously what the fuck?”

Surely the universe was rubbing salt in the wound at this point. Looking up he was met with the glare of one Lucy Maud Montgomery. Sadly, he wasn’t lying yesterday when he thought she was attractive. There was a certain uniqueness to her appearance that made her stand out. Also a vaguely threatening and psychopathic aura. Maybe not the most traditionally desired feature, but sadly Akutagawa had far from traditional interests. Montgomery’s attractiveness was both infuriating and distracting. The fact that he was even thinking about that at this very moment probably meant that he was going insane. Concerning, yet not at all surprising. Pretty as she may be, Akutagawa was certainly not in the mood. To be fair she was clearly equally as unhappy to see him. Small victories. 

“Last time I checked, the pier was public property. Not to mention it’s pretty conceited to assume my appearance here has anything to do with you. I don’t go around thinking about people less than me. In fact you haven’t crossed my mind since yesterday's unfavourable encounter.”

That was such an obvious lie. The overcompensating in his excuse told as much. Still, Akutagawa would rather die than admit that Montgomery had preoccupied his thoughts, subconsciously or otherwise. Hopefully she’d read into the cutting tone and decide the confrontation ultimately wasn’t worth it. Of course life had decided to fuck over Akutagawa at every turn recently so instead she actually had the gall to sit down on the bench next to him. Shocked, Akutagawa could only gape. What was wrong with this girl? Maybe she was like Dazai and enjoyed tormenting others mentally. While not seeming the type, anything was possible lately. 

Montgomery examined him closely, clearly searching for something. What exactly, Akutagawa couldn’t possibly fathom. This was becoming too much of a headache. Finally she said “You know with that winning personality of yours, it’s a miracle Atsushi can stand being around you. I mean I guess work is one thing but he talks about you literally all the time. Okay it’s more like ranting but still. What’s with you two, huh?”

…Seriously. Why did everything lately always seem to lead back to Jinko? Besides, why did Montgomery care so much? A fit of jealousy perhaps? If so, he should tell her not to worry. Atsushi had seemed head over heels when stammering on about his feelings before. It was more likely a sense of protectiveness. If Atsushi actually had decided to take his advice and ask the girl out then it would make sense. Akutagawa and Atsushi’s relationship was perhaps not the most amicable. Granted there had been improvements as of late. Still, it would make sense that any respectable girlfriend would not take kindly to their boyfriend’s long standing rival.

It was then that a terrible epiphany hit Akutagawa. There was a very real possibility that yes, Montgomery was now Jinko’s girlfriend. Meaning that Jinko was her boyfriend. Meaning they were dating. Together. Very possibly in love. Logically it shouldn’t have mattered. Afterall, whether or not Atsushi actually acted on his feelings the results would stay the same. He liked someone else, someone who wasn’t Akutagawa. Yet, somehow, the revelation that they very easily could currently be together made the whole situation way more real. Way more painful too. For some reason, Akutagawa felt the intense desire to pitch himself into the canal. It took an immense amount of mental will to restrain the urge. Instead he chose the mature option and actually answered the question.

“I don’t recall my relationship with Jinko being any of your business.” Akutagawa snapped. 

Okay, so maybe not the most mature response. Fuck it, it’s been a weird week and Akutagawa has never cared about being cordial to non-mafia members before. Why start now. Montgomery for what it's worth took it in stride. As expected she did not back down from his retort. 

“Oh well excuse me mister big shot mafia man. If you’re going to be such a dick about it then fine, I can play ball. Because it looks to me like Atsushi’s a pretty big sore spot for you. You’re acting like one of those little boys that bully the kid they like. All that Jinko this and Jinko that. He must really take up a lot of space in your mind huh?”

Oh hell no. That wouldn’t stand.

“Ha what a laughable conclusion to reach. I suppose I should only expect as much from a simpleton. The only reason Jinko ever enters my mind is when I’m marvelling at how he’s managed to survive this long in our world. If anything you’re the one that seems to have a preoccupation. If you’ll recall, it was you that brought him up in the first place. Perhaps we’re projecting, hm?”

“Ha wow . That’s the defence you’re really going with? Damn you really are like a little kid. I don’t like him, you do ! Didn’t know the mafia’s dog acted like such a little bitch. Did I hurt your feelings earlier or something?”

“With how reactionary you’re being right now, I suspect that it’s your feelings that are currently hurt. I’d heard tales of your short temper and let me say it’s an honour to witness it first hand. Truly, a commendable and useful personality trait. It’s a wonder the Agency hasn’t hired you yet.”

“Says the mafia dog. All it took you to get hired was a short temper and an even smaller moral compass.”

They were on their feet now. Akutagawa wasn’t sure when that had happened. He was about to retort when the ridiculousness of the situation set in. Here they were arguing like children over a boy. Montgomery had apparently come to a similar conclusion, as he could see her struggling to hold back a grin. The stupidity of this argument and the oddity of the last few days all came crashing down at once. Akutagawa couldn’t help it, he let out a soft laugh. It wasn’t much of anything, barely a sound escaped him. Yet it seemed to be enough for Montgomery. As if a dam had burst, she doubled over in a fit of laughter…

Oh. 

Akutagawa was left dumbstruck, entranced by the sight. Montgomery laughed wildly and with her full chest. It was boisterous, and (if we’re being completely honest) a little unhinged. He could see her psychotic megalomania coming out a little in that laugh. It was the complete opposite of his own subdued chuckle. It was also quite different from Atsushi. His laughter tended to come out more of a wheeze, haltingly as if he was never quite sure of himself. Yet despite that, Akutagawa found himself drawn to Montgomery’s laughter all the same. It was unapologetic, slightly unhinged and beautiful to behold. For the first time he could really understand Atsushi’s feelings. And oh God that was a dangerous line of thinking. Realistically Akutagawa should flee this whole interaction while he still could and never interact with Montgomery or Atsushi again. That’s what he should do anyway.

“Loath to admit, I did not hate this interaction entirely. Regrettably I have other matters that cannot be ignored at the moment so I will have to take my leave. It was… interesting talking with you Montgomery. I suppose I wouldn’t hate doing it again.”

“Oh yeah. Glad I was able to entertain the great Port Mafia Diablo.”

Despite the sarcastic tone, Montgomery was smiling. It was more smug than sweet. Still Akutagawa did not hate the sight. God dammit now it was definitely time to go. Nodding his head in acknowledgement, Akutagawa turned sharply and made his way back down the pier towards the mafia building. 

He was so screwed. 

Atsushi was decidedly not having a good week. Which was ridiculous. Afterall, he’d managed to solve one of the biggest problems that had been plaguing him for months. He’d finally gotten an opportunity to talk about his feelings. Granted it was perhaps not under the best of circumstances. He wasn’t able to be fully honest with either Lucy or Akutagawa during their respective conversations. Similarly although both had offered pretty sound advice, he had yet to actually put it into action. Maybe that was the reason for his abysmal mood? No, that wasn’t it. No doubt it played a part but it wasn’t the whole reason. The real problem was that Atsushi couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong with both Akutagawa and Lucy. The end of his conversation with Akutagawa had been worrying enough but the two often had weirdly charged conversations. Not to mention everything involving Akutagawa was confusing. Lucy, however, had been avoiding him for the past few days. If you combined both of those facts together it did not paint a pretty picture. Clearly Atsushi had done something wrong. The problem was he had no idea what.

Right now Atsushi was having dinner with Kyouka. A dinner that Lucy usually attended. Tuesdays were her closing shifts at the cafe so it made sense for her to join them rather than having a late dinner by herself. Atsushi could explain her frequent absences during their lunch breaks this week. It wasn’t uncommon that Atsushi was too busy with a case to attend. Similarly Lucy sometimes spent her breaks with Poe or other cafe staff. Missing Tuesday dinner though? That was extremely out of the ordinary. So much so that even Kyouka had noticed. Pointedly avoiding eye contact, Atsushi prayed she wouldn’t mention anything. Kyouka was a naturally quiet person and she usually avoided butting into other people’s business unless it was literally life or death. Of course, she was more inclined to interest herself in Atsushi’s life than most others. Still, if he was lucky, she’d leave it be. Of course, Atsushi had never been very lucky. 

“Why isn’t Lucy joining us today?”

Right to the point of course. To be honest, Atsushi wasn’t sure how to answer. As much as he wanted to avoid this conversation perhaps it could do him some good. If he couldn’t figure out what was wrong maybe Kyouka could. 

“I’m not sure to be honest. I think she might be avoiding me. But I’m not sure why” he said. Maybe not the most descriptive account he could give but still it was technically accurate. 

“Hm”. That was all Kyouka said for a minute.

“Did you do something to upset her?”

“Hey, why do you think I did something wrong?!”

Kyouka simply levelled him with a look that had Atsushi immediately deflating.

“Okay okay, you’re right. We had a conversation a few days ago and she’s been avoiding me ever since. We were talking about- ACTUALLY NEVERMIND THAT PART! That’s not important. I’m just worried that maybe I made her uncomfortable or something? She seemed fine at the time but now I’m not so sure.”

Kyouka went silent again. Logically Atsushi knows he should just tell her the full story. There was no way she could properly understand what was going on without full context. Still Atsushi was stubbornly unwilling to let his secret out. He wasn’t known as the Agency's coward of the East for nothing. Besides, Kyouka probably wouldn’t know what to do in his situation anyway. He should have realised by now that Kyouka wasn’t the same girl he’d first met on that train.

Finally she answered,

“Does this have anything to do with your feelings for Lucy?”

Atsushi’s face immediately flushed.

“Wha-what makes you say that!?”

“I’m not dense, Atsushi. I may only be fourteen but I have seen people in love. Besides, I know you. I may not understand romance but I do understand you.”

Atsushi was kind of taken aback. It was a good feeling though. Kyouka really had grown. The pride that filled his chest was unfamiliar but warmed his heart immensely. 

“Sorry. I guess I sometimes forget how perceptive you are. You’re right, it does have to do with that. Lucy… she’s amazing. She went through the same abuse I did and yet she’s always been so strong. She’s not someone you can push around. Not like me anyway. Maybe that’s why she’s been avoiding me so much. She probably figured out about my feelings and now she’s too freaked out to even look at me.”

Okay, maybe he was being incredibly self deprecating. He couldn’t help it though! It made sense, all things considered. Lucy was probably just being nice. She didn’t want to crush his heart openly, so she’s avoiding Atsushi until it blows over. Kyouka immediately sought to dash that line of reasoning of course.

“I wouldn’t be so hasty to put yourself down like that. Lucy is strong but so are you. Don’t forget you’re the one who actually helped Lucy leave the Guild and get her life back. Maybe your strengths lie in different places, but that doesn’t make yours any less immense. Besides, I think Lucy could surprise you. She’s headstrong and definitely not the type of person to hang around people she doesn’t respect. And she hangs around you the most. As close as we’ve gotten, she doesn’t come to these dinners to see me after all.”

Well that certainly changed things. Atsushi respected Kyouka’s opinion far more than his own so he definitely trusted whatever conclusion she’d come to. Besides, she's not the type to lie to spare his feelings. With all that taken into consideration it made no sense that Lucy was avoiding him out of discomfort. But if that was true; “Why do you think she’s avoiding me then?”

Again, Kyouka carefully considered his words.  “Maybe if you told me exactly what happened that would help.”

Of course it had come to this. Well, there seemed to be nothing for it. Might as well bite the bullet sooner rather than later. So Atsushi told her, avoiding eye contact the whole time. He tried to relay the conversation as accurately as possible so Kyouka could get a good read on the situation. This obviously meant explaining his feelings for Akutagawa as well. Kyouka didn’t give any audible reaction and in all honesty, Atsushi could only assume she already knew. Still that didn’t make it any less nerve wrecking. Once done he finally looked up and immediately regretted it. Kyouka had a familiar blank look on her face. The one that Atsushi immediately recognised as her ‘ you can’t be serious’ look. He was definitely in for it now. Seemingly steeling herself, Kyouka finally replied. 

“Atsushi. Did you ever consider that perhaps you might have given Lucy the wrong idea?”

“What do you mean?” Atsushi was genuinely puzzled.

“Well consider it from her perspective. Lucy has feelings for you. She notices you seem to be struggling with something. She comes to you in order to help. You then proceed to describe your feelings for someone else. That would probably be pretty upsetting, don’t you think? You may have succeeded in keeping Akutagawa’s identity vague but in the process you seem to have forgotten that Lucy doesn’t have the knowledge that you like more than one person.”

Okay yeah Atsushi could definitely see her point. Applying the same logic to his conversation with Akutagawa, his strange behaviour made sense as well. Atsushi may not be convinced that the mafioso shared his feelings, he definitely gave the impression that Atsushi himself had feelings for someone else. Which was technically true but not the whole truth. Gahhh! Atsushi never claimed to be a genius but this was frankly embarrassing. 

“Oh my god! What is wrong with me?! Kyouka, how the hell do I fix this?” he exclaimed, trying to keep the panic from his voice, and failing miserably. 

“Well the only thing you can do is be honest. With both of them.”

Honesty huh. That’s basically the same advice Lucy and Akuatagawa had given him as well. Despite being advised that both would appreciate a straightforward approach he’d done the total opposite. His fourteen year old sister was even more adept at this than him. He should probably tell her as much.

“Thanks Kyouka. You’re right, I should have just done that from the start. I’m just scared, you know. The idea that they could both possibly like me . And yeah I know, you’ve already said your piece about Lucy. Still, it’s one thing for you to say it and another thing entirely for me to believe it.”

That was the crux of it really. Atsushi could get all the advice in the world from Lucy, Akutagawa or Kyouka but at the end of the day it was his own God damn anxiety that was holding him back. Realistically he wasn’t a unique case. Most people get scared when asking out the person they like. At least that’s what he picked up from all those dramas Yosano made him watch. Still, he didn’t exactly have the greatest experience or examples in his own life. Despite that, Atsushi could acknowledge when it was time to suck it up and just go for it in spite of his anxieties. Besides, it would be rude to Kyouka not to. She’d done a pretty stellar job of offering advice all things considered.

…

Right, Kyouka. Atsushi hadn’t even thought about the biggest elephant in the room yet. She knew about Akutagawa. Lucy was one thing. Even back when the two shared some levels of animosity, Kyouka probably wouldn’t have anything against his feelings. Now though, the two had gotten pretty close. He would even go so far as to say Kyouka was the closest friend Lucy had outside of the cafe staff and Atsuhsi himself. Kyouka was a similar case. She’d taken to actually going down to the cafe on her own when Atsushi wasn’t around to spend some time with the other woman. Akutagawa though, was a completely different story. Due to the truce, the two hadn’t been openly hostile in recent memory. Even before that there had been times that they’d willingly worked together. The whole Shibusawa incident springs to mind. That being said, it was one thing for Atsushi to be partnered with Akutagawa for work and another thing entirely to start dating him. He could not deny that the mafioso had been the direct cause of Kyouka’s suffering back in her mafia days. Although most of her disdain and hurt was directed at the organisation itself, it would be stupid to assume she didn’t hold anything against the man himself. It wasn’t completely black and white of course. Still if Atsushi could openly acknowledge how much Dazai hurt Akutagawa in the past, he could just as easily acknowledge how much Akutagawa had hurt Kyouka. As much as Atsushi had grown to like the other man, he would give it up in a heartbeat for Kyouka’s sake. 

“I can hear you thinking from all the way over here,” Kyouka easily interrupted his thoughts. Whelp if it was honesty hour, he might as well let her in on his worries.

“I was just wondering what you felt about the whole thing. Not Lucy, I know you two have gotten pretty close recently. But Akutagawa, how do you feel about him?” Atsushi inhaled sharply, “He hurt you a lot Kyouka and you’re pretty much the most important person in my life. If it makes you uncomfortable or you hate me for these feelings then please tell me. Your opinion on this all really matters to me.”

Kyouka took time to consider his words carefully. She had another signature blank look on her face. Most wouldn’t be able to read it. Atsushi of course recognised it as the face she made when she was thinking carefully considering her words. He simply sat back and gave her the time to think. 

Finally she answered him. “I can’t say that I’m the biggest fan of Akutagawa. Nor do I really approve of your feelings for him. Let it be known that you could absolutely do better. But you don’t need my permission. And… I understand that this situation isn’t blank and white. As much as I hate to admit it, Akutagawa and I aren’t so different. All that really matters to me is that you're happy. If that happiness includes Akutagawa then so be it. As long as Lucy’s there too of course.”

Okay, Atsushi was definitely tearing up a little. Whatever, it was never hard to reduce him to tears. He mustered up his brightest, watery smile before replying. “Thanks Kyouka. I really appreciate you being honest.”

“Of course.” Kyouka offered her own small smile in return.

“You know this all could have been avoided if you just came to me first.”

“Yeah yeah, I know.”

Lucy was one hundred percent screwed. Well, okay maybe that was a bit dramatic. She was, like, ninety-five percent screwed. After her decidedly strange interaction with Akutagawa last week life had been comparably happier. In a strange turn of events the two had taken to meeting occasionally at the pier to share lunch. It was always unplanned and they didn’t really talk much but the experience was all together rather enjoyable. A companionable silence should not be underestimated. Lucy had even stopped avoiding Atsushi lately. Okay, she was trying to anyway. It wasn’t exactly the easiest thing to do. Especially when she’d somehow manage to become lunch buddies with her apparent love rival. The situation had kind of spiralled out of control and now everything was whack. Especially her feelings, because try as she might, Lucy couldn’t bring herself to hate Akutagawa. Well she hated parts of him for sure. He was a member of the mafia and a murderer to boot. To be fair though, Lucy had her own morally dubious background as a member of the Guild. Not to mention Atsushi had told her about his whole no killing thing and so far it seemed like he was keeping true to his word. He was quiet, sure, but not Kyouka levels. Besides, it was a nice contrast to both her and Atsushi’s yapping tendencies. She definitely couldn’t fault him for his brash, sometimes rude mannerisms. She was self aware enough to recognise those in herself. Besides it showed a level of honesty and forthcomingness that Lucy could definitely get behind. 

So maybe there was less to dislike than she’d initially thought. Therein lay the problem. Despite her best efforts Lucy had grown to like the man. There was a familiarity she could share with him that she had only ever had with Atsushi. Not to mention the attractiveness. Was the mafia, like, solely consisted of hot people? She was definitely starting to think so because holy hell, Akutagawa was definitely easy on the eyes. Sure he had a… unique style, but it suited him well. She could get behind anaemic, Victorian, vampire for sure. It’s not like he was the only one in this Goddamn city that dressed like an edgy teenager. Yeah, Akutagawa was hot. Lucy could understand Atsushi’s interest. Perhaps a bit more than she should. 

It was fine though. Sure they once again sat at the pier during her precious lunch hour. A time that previously she would only let Atsushi take up. That didn’t mean anything though. They just had a good connection is all. It would probably do some good to make friends with more people anyway. Improve her social life and all that junk. 

Akutagawa made a rare interruption. “I can feel the gears turning in your head from over here.”

“Aww! Were you paying that much attention to me? I’m flattered, Aku.” Lucy easily fell into the banter.

“Ha, I was merely surprised that a thought actually passed through that head of yours. It’s a momentous occasion for sure.”

“You would know of course, what with your shining scholarly reputation. It’s a credit to your ability that you’ve survived so long with that impulsivity of yours.”

Akutagawa laughed at that. It was brief, barely more than a chuckle. Yet Lucy had started taking it as a victory anytime she could manage to bring out any form of laughter from him. Fuck, messing with him was actually fun. Lucy hadn’t had this kind of repertoire with another person before. As much as she loved Atsushi’s sweet demeanour, actually having someone to match her insults was a welcomed change.

“If anything it’s Jinko’s survivability that should shock you.” Akutagawa continued, “His lack of propensity for planning rivals even that of the Agency’s farm boy.”

“Definitely can’t argue with you there.”

That was another thing they did often. Discuss Atsushi that is. Not all the time of course. Lucy wasn’t that whipped. Still, it was a common point of interest for the both of them. If anything, Lucy should be happy. At least Akutagawa appeared to hold some affection for Atsushi. The only thing worse than having an unrequited crush is when said crush also has an unrequited crush. It made things rather more complicated and pathetic. Still Lucy didn’t know how to feel about all this. She wanted Atsushi to be happy and she’d grown close enough to Akutagawa to wish the same for him. The idea of them dating though, that made her stomach twist into knots. Although not in the way she expected. Lucy knew she was jealous, that much was obvious. The object of her jealousy though, that seemed to grow more and more blurry as time went on.

Akutagawa spoke up again. “Seriously, you look as if you’ve swallowed a particularly sour lemon.”

Ha, if only. 

“This sandwich tastes like ass. Never ordering from that place again. No need to worry your pretty little head about it though,” Lucy replied easily.

Not technically a lie, the sandwich was pretty shitty. Akutagawa flushed at her comment and turned away quickly, coughing slightly. Lucy couldn’t help the self satisfied smirk that graced her face. He got flustered so easily. More easily than Atsushi even. To be honest it was adorable. Wait, no. No no no no no! She could NOT be thinking along those lines. That was dangerous territory. 

Glancing at her watch, Lucy was shocked to see that she only had five more minutes left on her break. She never went over her allotted time. The only way to make it back on time at this rate was to run. Had she lost track of time that easily? God dammit, this was pathetic. Rattling off a quick goodbye to Akutagawa, she took off down the street. For a brief moment, Lucy swore she saw a look of disappointment flash across his face before she turned away. It made her heart squeeze painfully. It wasn’t her place to feel that way though. This time, the bitter taste in her mouth wasn’t from the sandwich. 

It was getting ridiculous how much inner turmoil one person could go through in a week. Akutagawa was a member of the Port Mafia for God’s sake. One of the most feared ability users in the city. He’d single handedly taken down rival organisations, foiled assassins and (although not recently) killed more people than he could count. Yet despite all that it wasn’t an assassination attempt or rival gang war that was going to take him out. No, it was feelings. Not just feelings for anyone of course. No no no, they had to be for Jinko. If anything, that was the most embarrassing part. Well maybe not the most embarrassing part. The unrequited aspect of said feelings was pretty humiliating as well. Even that though, paled in comparison to his most recent dilemma. The real kicker was the fact that the object of Atsushi’s affection had somehow managed to worm her way into Akutagawa’s heart as well. An impressive feat to be sure, there wasn’t much room left in there. 

So yes, Akutagawa had a crush on his crush’s crush. How lovely. The irony was not lost on him. In his defence, Atsushi had admittedly good taste. Montgomery was gorgeous. Yes, he could readily admit it now. Her hair was the most immediate indicator. A shocking red, but quite dissimilar to the red of Nakahara or Kyouou’s. While theirs had a more fiery intensity, the red of Montgomery’s hair had a warmth to it. More akin to a small hearth than a fiery inferno. That being said, the sheer amount of it more than made up for its calm colouring. Akutagawa had never seen such thick hair in his life. It paired well with her emerald eyes of course. Sharp eyes that could rival Akutagawa’s own icy cold glare. He’d only seen that glare fixed on him once during their first meeting, but it hadn’t left his mind since. The same was true for Montgomery’s smile. He’d surmised that it came in two types. The first was that loud, maniacal grin that so often made an appearance. It was wild, sadistic and a little unhinged. Akutagawa still loved it nonetheless. It lit his blood on fire in ways only his fights with Atsushi had done before. That was Mongomery’s most common smile, the one she wore when she was laughing. Both with you or at you. The second smile, however, that one was much rarer. It was strikingly more subdued and smaller than the previous one. Sweet and serene, while also containing a wistful and melancholic depth. Akutagawa had no doubt that Atsushi had seen that smile many times. One couldn’t help but fall in love after seeing it even once. So yes, Montgomery was beautiful. Akutagawa didn’t know much about Canada, but if they all looked like that… 

It wasn’t just her beauty of course. Montgomery also had a unique personality, shall we say. Aggressive and easy to anger for sure. No qualms about rudeness, that’s for sure. She had the mannerisms and unapologetic disposition of a mafioso. Traits that Akutagawa of course recognised in himself, yet he never really fully appreciated them until he saw them on Montgomery. She also had a stubbornness much like Atsushi. Not to mention she was loud. Like, very loud. Perhaps boisterous would be a good word. Before Atsuhsi, Akutagawa probably would have found her unbearable to be honest. Thankfully Jinko had conditioned him to appreciate those aspects in a person. Or maybe regrettably? After all, if it weren’t for his newfound appreciation, Akutagawa wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place. 

Whatever, it’s not like anything can be done about it now. Akutagawa had cursed himself to fall for the two people in Yokohama who would never return those feelings. That was fine. Life was always throwing him the short end of the stick. He wouldn’t let that fact get him down though. And even if it did, he certainly wouldn’t show it.

“What’s put you in such a foul mood today?” Why does he even bother at this point? Gin quirked her head to the side, waiting for an answer. This situation was becoming awfully too familiar. 

Long since done with the pretence of normality, Akutagawa answered her truthfully. “My situation with Jinko seems to have evolved. Most unpleasantly as well.”

Gin raised an eyebrow, “Oh, how so?”

Her voice showed genuine interest. He appreciated that. It wasn’t everyday they could act like normal young adults. It was nice to know they were at least capable of it.

“I already mentioned how I came across the Montgomery girl that Jinko was talking about,” Gin nodded her ascent, “Well, I have been… meeting with her I suppose. During my lunch breaks. Not all the time, of course. It was unintentional at first. Lately though, it’s been happening rather often.”

“I see. That must be very conflicting for you.”

“Well yes.”

Though not in the way you think.

“Truth be told, I've grown to enjoy our time together. She is rather pleasant to be around. Most of the time anyway. She’s a rather fascinating individual. I believe I can understand Jinko’s attraction to her.”

“Ah, I believe I understand what you’re getting at.”

Did she? Akutagawa hoped so, if only so he didn’t have to say it out loud. Being open and honest was, quite honestly, exhausting. “So yes, I guess you can say things have gotten a bit conflicting .”

“Hm yes. So what do you plan to do about it then?” Gin asked easily, apparently not seeing how nonsensical it was. 

What on earth was she getting at? There was obviously only one correct answer. “Well nothing of course. Unless you mean congratulating them on their prosperous relationship but you and I both know I’d rather insult Nakahara to Kouyou’s face than do that.” 

Despite his earlier belief, this was clearly not the answer Gin was hoping for. Akutagawa hadn’t seen her look that disappointed in a while, and that was certainly saying something. 

“Honestly Ryu, you could stand to take your own advice for once. Weren’t you the one telling Atsushi to be honest with his feelings? Yet here you are hiding from your own. For as much as you like to call Atsushi a coward, you aren’t fairing much better at the moment.’

Akutagawa was flabbergasted to put it simply. Not only at the blow to his ego, although that was shocking enough. Gin couldn’t actually be serious. Be honest with his feelings? To the two people that clearly already liked each other? The thought was laughable. There was no way she was serious. This must be an attempt at a joke.

He said as much, “You cannot be serious.”

“Oh I am. Deadly.”

“Have you gone mad? Jinko and Montgomery have already made their feelings abundantly clear. I am not being a coward, I am simply being rational.”

“Perhaps they simply haven’t considered the possibility of all three of you as an option. As unconventional as many of the relationships amongst our Agencies may be, polyamory is not the most common. Any rational person would at least communicate their feelings instead of assuming the worst. Bottling down those feelings, that’s cowardice.”

“Oh I’m a coward am I? I don’t recall seeing you talk about your feelings with Higuchi recently.”

Gin immediately flushed red. No doubt a combination of embarrassment and anger. Akutagawa felt the exhilarating rush of victory.

“At least I actually talk to Higuchi instead of turning every conversation into a fight. Besides, I have yet to give Higuchi advice on how to ask out another person.”

Ouch. The feeling of victory immediately dissipated. Akutagawa sighed. This was stupid and definitely not helping. At least he was feeling something other than confusion and sadness about the whole situation. Granted anger may not be the best step forward. Still at least it was a step.

“Forgive me, that was uncalled for. I appreciate you trying to help.”

Gin similarly calmed herself and offered a small smile. “I’m sorry too. But I am being serious. You need to talk to them. I understand that it’s hard and you don’t know Lucy very well yet. But you’re only hurting yourself more by suffering in silence. Even if it’s not the answer you’re hoping for, at least you’ll have something.”

Akutagawa… could see the logic in that. Whether or not he would be able to follow through was another matter entirely. Still he couldn't deny his sister made some good points. 

“Alright. I’ll at least try.”

Lucy knew what she had to do. During the past few days she’d been thinking. A lot. Also avoiding both Atsushi and Akutagawa. Not out of fear or hurt like before. She just needed to clear her head to come up with the best solution. That couldn’t be done with those two around. She’d taken to spending more time with Kyouka instead. It wasn’t easy considering Kyouka and Atsushi were often joined at the hip. Kyouka seemed to understand her need to escape from Atsushi though. No doubt the boy in question had somehow let slip about the whole situation. Ordinarily Lucy would be angry. For now though it was working in her favour. Lucy herself never brought up her feelings during their hangouts, but just being around the teen was enough to get her neurons firing. Kyouka’s reserved, contemplative demeanour rubbed off on her sometimes. 

So yes, Lucy knew what she had to do. It would be difficult and no doubt extremely messy but there was really no other option. The only way the three of them would get through this was if someone made the first move. Atsushi would take too long. Although Lucy had faith he would eventually make a move on his feelings, it would be far too late by the time he mustered up the courage. Akutagawa on the other hand seemed the type to die before ever making a move. As such, for both her sanity and theirs, Lucy would have to take the first step. Some may call it pathetic to actively help the two people she likes get together, but honestly she was doing the world a favour. The whole triumvirate system would probably collapse if those two went on the way they were currently.

At first Lucy considered going to Atsushi. She knew him better after all and he was definitely the least emotionally repressed. That being said, he would probably also be the most sympathetic to Lucy’s own feelings. She could handle the two getting together. She could not handle their pity. Not to mention, she’d honestly rather Atsushi never learn of these feelings she harboured. Akutagawa was easier. He wouldn’t offer meaningless platitudes. Similarly, she was much less adverse to letting him know about her feelings. Probably something to do with knowing him far less. Or maybe it was their similarly closed off mentality. Whatever the case her mind was made up. The next time she saw Akutagawa she would tell him to get his act together and confess. No matter how much it hurt.

Said opportunity arrived far sooner than expected. Originally, Lucy had been waiting for one of their usual unscheduled lunch dates meetings in order to bring it up. That’s why she was extremely unprepared to bump into the man on one of her semi-regular, post work strolls through the city. In hindsight maybe it wasn’t that odd. She had taken a new route today, one that brought her more into the outskirts of the city. Still, at the time Lucy was flabbergasted. The setting just didn’t seem to fit. Of all the places one expected to run into a notorious mafia member, a small housing estate at ten at night was certainly not one of them. At least Akutagawa himself seemed equally as surprised to see her. For a moment, the two simply stared. Akutagawa recovered first.

“Well, isn’t this a familiar sight?” he said, a sardonic edge bleeding into his voice. 

“What are you talking about?” Lucy was, like, ninety-nine percent certain they’d never run into each other like this before. In fact, she was certain she’d never even been in this neighbourhood before. 

Akutagawa flushed slightly. “Ah never mind, just thinking out loud.”

Damn, what a weirdo. Lucy needed to get better taste in men. Whatever, she had a plan and now was as good a time as any to see it through. “I need to talk to you. Like now. Follow me.”

She turned swiftly on her heels without waiting to see if Akutagawa would listen. Obviously, he did. Lucy smirked at that. Had to derive some joy from this shitty situation after all. She led them back to a small park she remembered passing earlier. It had been pretty deserted then. Perfect place for an awkward, soul crushing heart to heart. Seating herself on a frankly decrepit bench, Lucy waited for Akuatagawa to follow suit. He was hesitant at first, not that she could blame him. This was definitely making the top ten weirdest evenings of her life so far. If they were normal people this would probably look like a murder attempt. Luckily they weren’t normal and eventually curiosity won out. Akutagawa sat himself down opposite her. Time to get down to business then. 

“So, Aku. You think about Atsushi a lot, huh.” Lucy blurted out. Maybe not the most direct approach, but best not scare the man off. Although the affronted look on Akutagawa’s face implied that maybe even that was too direct. Oh well. Lucy had never been one for subtlety. 

“I don’t know where you possibly got that idea from!” Akutagawa’s earlier hesitance completely vanished in his outrage. “I knew you were crazy before but this takes the cake. Me, think about Atsushi? Ha, the only time that fool crosses my mind is when he chooses to abruptly insert himself into my life. It would be more accurate to say that I can’t escape him. I don’t allow unimportant people to even enter my mind, let alone occupy my thoughts frequently enough to be noticeable.”

Laying it on a little thick there Aku, Lucy thought. Out loud she said, “Oh yeah, you definitely think about him all right.”

Akutagawa immediately went as red as a tomato. Whether out of anger or embarrassment remained to be seen. “If your intention is simply to rub it in then I must have misjudged you Montgomery. I gathered you were a sadist but I didn’t expect such jealousy.”

Wow, wow, wow. Try as she did to contain it, Lucy felt her anger spiking. Who did this prick think he was?! She was rubbing it in? Meanwhile here he was openly mocking her feelings. She was a little disheartened that they were apparently so obvious but still. What a bastard. 

“Oh I’m jealous, am I? Well I’d rather be jealous than a dickhead. Here I am trying to help you out and this is how you repay me?” They were both on their feet now. Lucy wasn’t quite sure when that had happened. “Here I thought you would actually understand. My mistake for thinking you could ever be good enough for him.” 

“Oh I’m not good enough for him? How rich coming from you. Perhaps this isn’t such a surprise. Jinko’s existence has brought me nothing but trouble so it makes sense his little girlfriend would be much the same. I really should raise my standards at this rate.”

“ Little girlfriend ! Listen here you condescending prick, I am no one’s little anything and if you think for a minute that-”

Wait what?

“Wait what?”

A self-satisfied smirk appeared on Akutagawa’s face. “Ha, finally out of things to say? I didn’t think that was even possible.”

Akutagawa prattled on but Lucy was no longer listening. What on earth did he mean by girlfriend? Was he jealous? Spiteful? Overcome by some form of psychosis? Lucy was spiralling. She needed to know what he meant and she needed to know now. Grabbing his shoulders and aggressively shaking succeeded in cutting off whatever lame monologue he was in the middle of.

“What the hell did you mean by girlfriend you anaemic freak!?” At least she managed to get straight to the point this time.

Once the fear of throwing up onto the sidewalk subsided, Akutagawa scoffed. “Seriously? I’m aware you lack a formal education but even you must know the term for a woman in a relationship, yes.’

“Hey jackass, you aren’t exactly the most educated person on the planet either, you know.”

Akutagawa let out a surprised chuckle at that and despite it all, Lucy felt her heart flutter. Jackass. When Lucy failed to say anything else, Akutagawa’s brows furrowed. “You must know what I’m referring to you and Atsushi of course”

Lucy reeled back at that. “Dude I literally have no clue what the hell you’re talking about. I’m no one’s girlfriend, least of all Atsushi’s.”

If Akutagawa looked concerned before, he was downright distressed now. It was perhaps the most expressive Lucy had ever seen him. At another time, she would greatly appreciate the sight. In that moment though, everything had been turned on its head. 

Akutagawa finally spoke, “I see. Well my apologies, I appear to have spoiled the surprise. It figures that Atsushi would still be resting on his laurels instead of getting the job done.”

Lucy must be going crazy. There was absolutely no way Akutagawa was implying that Atsushi was dating her. Or planning on dating her. Whatever. He must be confused. Or insanely vindictive. Either way this could not stand. 

“Dude, did all the times you’ve been knocked on your ass finally loosen something in that head of yours? Why on earth would Atsushi ever ask me out when he’s into you?” Now it was Akutagawa’s turn to reel back. Not exactly how she planned it, but at least he seemed to be getting the idea now. Better late than never. Lucy soldiered on. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. That idiot was acting all mopy because of his inability to deal with his feelings. I tried to set him straight but clearly that was a complete failure. Time for you to get your ass in gear yourself now.”

Akutagawa appeared quite affronted. Well, tough luck. No doubt there was going to be denials but Lucy was prepared. As uncomfortable as it was, she was still determined to make this thing work out for them. The next words out of Akutagawa’s mouth were certainly a denial, but definitely not the way Lucy was expecting. 

“What on earth are you blabbering about? Atsushi came to me weeks ago to whine to me about his feelings for you .” Okay yeah, no what the hell was going on here?

Clearly Lucy needed to put the final nail in the proverbial coffin. “Is this some, like, major case of denial? I know Atsushi was talking about you. He all but said your name for God’s sake! Yeah he tried being subtle but last time I checked I’m not a he .” 

“Oh well that’s strange because personally, I also don’t go by she . Atsushi was pretty clear that the person he was referring to was a woman.”

…

What the hell. 

Neither of them uttered another word. Lucy wasn’t even sure she was breathing anymore. Akutagawa moved first, dumping his body back onto the bench. With little else to do, Lucy followed suit. Still there was silence. None of this made any sense. Atsushi’s description matched Akutagawa perfectly. At the same time though, Akutagawa seemed equally sure. Realistically he had no reason to lie to her. Unless he was mistaken? Maybe Atsushi had panicked at the last second and pretended his confession was actually for someone else. Someone like her. The thought stung a little but it’s the only thing that made any sense. She said as much to Akutagawa.

He immediately vetoed the idea. “No, I don’t think that’s the case. Atsushi may be an anxious wreck but loathe to admit, he is no coward. Besides, he is not a gifted liar. He was being genuinely sincere, I assure you.”

Lucy could tell Akutagawa really meant that. All his previous fire was gone. It left an empty shell, one she recognised in herself. She chose, in that moment, to believe him. If Akutagawa said that’s what happened then who was she to deny that. Although neither had acknowledged it yet, they were both smart enough to recognise what hadn’t been said. Though indirectly, both their feelings had essentially been revealed. Where that left them, Lucy wasn’t sure.Right now she honestly just wanted to fix this whole mess before everything imploded. 

“Well if that’s true then who the hell was Atsushi planning to ask out?” Best to address the most pressing matter. Akutagawa merely shrugged, listlessly. Guess it really was all down to her.

 If both parties were to be believed then Atsushi had approached them separately, only a few days apart, to seek advice about how to ask the other one out. Realistically, Lucy could only conceive of three possible explanations. First; something had happened to change Atsushi’s feelings within just a few days. That seemed unlikely. Although she’d been avoiding him at that time, as far as Lucy was aware the Agency hadn’t had any contact with the Mafia before the boys’ encounter. Second; Atsushi had been lying to one of them. Again, unlikely. Like Akutagawa said, he was a shit liar. They both absolutely would have been able to tell if he was being dishonest. Not to mention it would have been an uncharacteristically dickmove for no discernable reason. That only left option three; Atsushi had been referring to both Akutagawa and Lucy. If that was true then logically one could only conclude he genuinely liked both of them. It was genuinely the most plausible solution. 

Despite that, Lucy couldn’t help but feel like she was projecting. Maybe the only reason that seemed the only likely conclusion was because it’s the most desirable one. At least to her anyway. For Atsushi though there was no way. Not to mention Akutagawa. They barely knew each other and, although their more recent interactions had been pretty friendly, their initial meeting had been a disaster. Sure the first time he’d met Atsushi had been even worse, but at least they’d had time to get closer. Not to mention, life and death situations had a way of pushing people closer together. With the shit those two had gone through together, it was honestly a miracle they weren’t already dating. Lucy may have a history of falling fast and hard but she was under no delusion that others felt the same way. If she actually told Akutagawa about her theory then at best he’d try to laugh it off. It was way more likely to make the situation so uncomfortable that he’d never talk to her again. Lucy couldn’t even stomach the thought. Still, she couldn’t not tell him. The whole point of this conversation was to push Akutagawa to be honest with his feelings. How hypocritical would it be to not take her own advice? 

Steeling herself, she launched into it. “What if… what if we’re both right?” At Akutagawa’s confused expression, she continued on. “You know, what if he was talking about you to me? But also about me to you? I mean like, maybe, he likes both of us? It’s silly I know but that idiot’s always had a heart bigger than him. It wouldn’t be that out of character would it? And I mean, if I’m being honest I wouldn’t actually mind that outcome. In fact, I would maybe actually prefer it? Because like, you’ve seen yourself and, like, I’m not blind.”

Oh god she was rambling. Who was she, Atsushi? Still, apparently once she’d started it was impossible to stop. “In fact, I would maybe actually prefer it? Because like, you’ve seen yourself and, like, I’m not blind. Plus like, you’re kind of an asshole but so am I so can’t really fault you for that. I kind of like it honestly. It’s refreshing to have someone like that again. And like, okay yeah, I’m digressing. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I think I’ve started to like you. A lot. Like Atsushi levels a lot. If I’m right and Atsushi does have feelings for the both of us, well then, I wouldn’t be against it.”

Lucy waited with bated breath. It wasn’t the most eloquent speech but as long as it served its purpose that was fine. Akutagawa sat there, an unreadable expression on his face. At least he wasn’t running. There's one worst case scenario avoided. Still, if he took much longer then Lucy was going to literally explode. 

Finally, finally , after what seemed like years, Akutagawa opened his mouth to respond. “I think that's a credible theory. Although if true I must question both of your tastes in romantic partners. Despite what you may say, I would not rate myself so highly. A mafia member who rarely leaves the house outside of work? You could both certainly do much better. Especially you Miss Montgomery. Me on the other hand? I have excellent taste. After all, you are quite the catch if I do say so myself.”

Lucy remained stock still. Surely she’d misheard? Or maybe misunderstood. There was no way Akutagawa had just admitted to actually reciprocating her feelings right? The bashful look he was sending her way implied otherwise. Lucy let out her most genuine smile since this whole shit show had started. The weight that had been pushing her steadily into the ground for days finally lifted. She hadn’t felt this elated in a hot minute. Not to mention, she hadn’t wanted to kiss someone this hard since Atsushi parachuted out of Moby Dick. Still, as delighted as she was, there was still one other thing they needed to sort out before any of that. 

“Damn Aku, didn’t know you could be so endearingly cute. You and Atsushi really are made for each other.” A little flirting wouldn’t hurt. Apparently she was allowed to do that now. “Still, as cute and mushy as this all is, we should probably talk about it with Atsushi first.”

Akutagawa nodded his ascent. “Yes, that would probably be wise. No use celebrating before the fight’s over.”

“Bit intense but that’s the spirit. Atsushi should be home alone right now. Kyouka’s on a case in Kyoto with Rampo at the minute. You feel like breaking into the Agency’s dorm?”

“Do you even need to ask?”

Without further preamble, the two rose from the bench to make their way to possibly the most terrifying experience of their insane lives. And if they maybe shared a chaste kiss before leaving the secluded park, then that was their business.

Being honest was a lot more difficult than people say, especially when the people you were trying to be honest with seemed to have vanished off the face of the earth. Seriously, what the hell was going on? Akutagawa, Atsushi could understand. They saw each other pretty sporadically as it was, and they weren’t really in the habit of meeting up outside of work. Lucy on the other hand? Atsushi felt like he was going crazy. He’d tried looking for her all day just to come up with nothing. Yeah, okay, it’s not like they were attached at the hip. Still, the frequency at which they seemed to be missing each other lately was spooky. The universe must be fucking with him because there was simply no way. Once it hit nine o’clock Atsushi was forced to admit defeat. Lucy must have been staying with a friend or something. Maybe Poe had called her up to talk about his new book, what with Rampo out of the prefecture at the minute. Speaking of, Rampo had also annoyingly snatched up Kyouka for said case, so it’s not like Atsushi could even whine to her about it. What frustrated him the most was that Ranpo absolutely did not need her help. That inspector that he’s always talking about was going with them so it’s not like he needed Kyouka’s assistance with the train or anything. If Atsushi wasn’t so stressed he probably would have been a bit more suspicious about the whole thing. Instead, he was pacing around their tiny shared apartment with his thoughts in even more disarray than usual. The room had never seemed this small before. Maybe they needed to move. They didn’t have the money of course, but it was a nice thought. Staved off the more uncomfortable thoughts about Lucy and Akutagawa… which of course were now back in full force. 

Gahh.

Before the spiral could get even worse, there was a knock at the door. That was strange for numerous reasons. Kyouka had her own key, so even if she was back early she would just let herself in. Dazai, Ranpo and Yosano never bothered to knock. Probably something to do with their collective heightened sense of importance. Kunikida always knocked, but it was quite impossible to mistake his particular pattern for anyone else. Naomi and Tanizaki didn’t really visit very often, neither did the President. Kenji generally knocked like a normal human, but that kid was always lights out by, like, seven o’clock. The only logical conclusion was that someone was there to kill him. Why they would bother to knock, Atsushi hadn’t quite figured out yet but give him a break, it’s not like he’s a detective! Hefting a saucepan (one of the very few cooking implements they owned) Atsushi crept towards the door. Prepared to meet his doom, he yanked the door open, swinging the saucepan hard. Said saucepan was immediately sliced in two before it could make contact with a very pissed looking Lucy. Akutagawa, her saviour, stood behind her with a bemused expression, rashōmon hovering uncertainly nearby.

“Um…” It was the most intelligible answer Atsushi could come up with.  

Lucy did not seem to appreciate it. “Don’t ‘um’ me! You almost took my head off! Why the fuck are you even using a frying pan for self defence? You are quite literally a tiger.”

“Um…” Atsushi very helpfully offered again. Lucy simply rolled her eyes before pushing past him deeper into the room. Akutagawa followed closely behind, although with much more hesitance. 

That’s all it took for Atsushi to snap back into reality. What the hell were they doing here? It was almost ten at night for god’s sake! Actually nevermind that, what the hell were they doing here together? Atsushi wasn’t even aware they knew each other, let alone well enough to go on a house call in the middle of the night. Maybe he’d accidentally fallen asleep and was currently experiencing a weird nightmare. Or possibly a very good dream. Depending on how this all went. That being said, he should probably move from the entryway and see what they wanted. Hastily shutting the door, Atsushi went to follow the pair.

They had found themselves in the living room, Lucy already making herself comfortable. Meanwhile Akutagawa was awkwardly situated in a corner, seemingly unsure what to do with himself. His posture was so rigid it made Atsushi wince. Hoping to alleviate some tension, he silently motioned for Akutagawa to make himself comfortable beside Lucy on the floor. After a second's hesitation, he did so. Atsushi followed suit, sitting opposite the pair. That’s when the painfully uncomfortable silence descended. 

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. The odd duo didn’t seem readily willing to share the reason for their visit so it looked like asking was the only option. “So um, what exactly is going on here?” 

The pair shared a look. The familiarity in their gaze was a little surreal truth be told. It stopped him from asking any further questions. Whatever the two of them had come here for, he was never going to figure it out on his own. Feeling way out of his depth, Atsushi waited for the two to finish their silent… argument? Whatever it was, Akutagawa seemed to come out on top. Lucy sighed, shaking her head before turning to face Atsushi again.

“I swear you two are completely hopeless without me,” she helpfully began. “Not breaking any stereotypes here with the emotional constipation guys. Well whatever. Atsushi, remember a few days ago when we had a chat in the cafe about your little crush?”

Atsushi nodded. How could he possibly forget.

“Then a few days later, you had a similar talk with Akutagawa, right?”

Atsushi winced but nodded none the less. That one was even harder to forget. How Lucy found out about it was beyond him but he supposed he was about to learn. No doubt it would be humiliating. 

Lucy nodded herself, seemingly satisfied. “Okay so, Akutagawa and I have been talking. We think we may have possibly come to a conclusion about something,”

Atsushi waited for Lucy to continue. She seemed hesitant, nervous even. That was decidedly not a good thing. Lucy didn’t get nervous. Well, okay, she definitely got nervous. Usually though, that nervousness was released through aggression. This anxious hesitance? Very un-Lucy-like. Most likely the two had figured out his feelings and were so disgusted that they’d come all the way here to tell him they never wanted to see him again. That would explain the uncharacteristic nervousness. It would also explain why Akutagawa had been so quiet this whole time. Wait, did that mean he was nervous too? Okay yeah, this was definitely going in a bad direction. Maybe that was a good thing in the long run. At least now Atsushi didn’t have to face the embarrassment of actually bearing his feelings to the world. Instead they could reject him right here without any of that and the matter would be closed. He could even lie about the whole thing, tell them they’d come to the wrong conclusion and this was all just a hilarious misunderstanding. At least then maybe they would still want to hangout with him. For some reason though his stomach reeled at the idea. Maybe it was his recent chat with Kyouka or his earlier talks with these two. Maybe it was even the fact that cowardly as he may be, Atsushi rarely, if ever, backed down. No matter the reason, Atsushi realised that he would never be able to live with himself if he couldn’t even be honest to the two people he cared about most in the world. 

So deep in his spiral, Atsushi hadn’t even noticed Lucy had continued speaking a while ago. “So yeah, we’re probably really off base here. Still, we’ve thought about it and all the facts point to the idea that-”

Atsushi knew what he had to do. The rejection would sting sure, but keeping this secret would hurt a hundred times more. Steeling his nerves, Atsushi finally, finally, ripped the bandaid off;

“I like you guys!”

That stopped Lucy dead in her tracks. In fact, it might have worked a bit too well. Atsushi was a little concerned she might have stopped breathing. To her credit, Akutagawa looked a thousand times worse. Humans definitely were not supposed to go that pale naturally. For obvious reasons, it was Lucy that spoke first. “Have you… have you been listening to a single thing I’ve said?”

Atsushi flinched again. Oops. “Ah, um, no sorry. Please continue.”

Lucy shared a quick glance with Akutagawa before replying, the latter having finally broken out of his perpetual stupor; “Ah, never mind that. Please, continue. We um, we’re definitely interested in whatever you have to say.”

Atsushi took a deep breath. He could do this. Besides, even if he couldn’t it would be way too embarrassing to back out now.

“I like you. Both of you. For a while now really. I wasn’t really sure how to tell you though. That’s why I decided to talk to both of you about my whole crush situation. You’re the people I trust most in the world so I guess I just didn’t have anyone else to turn to. Or, well maybe I did, but I think I just didn’t want to? I dunno, I’m not sure about the whole psychology aspect of it.” As he spoke, Atsushi seemed to gain a bit more confidence in himself. “That’s not what’s important though. I’ve realised that maybe I should have approached this a different way. There seems to be a real possibility that things may have gotten a bit confusing? And okay, I didn’t really come to that conclusion on my own, I guess, but that’s also not important. I’m rambling aren’t I? Look what I’m trying to say is I like you both and I would love to go out with you and I understand if you two think I’m really weird and disgusting and never want to talk to me again but I hope you don’t because dating or otherwise I really care about you guys and don’t wanna lose you!” That last senate finally knocked the remaining air out of Atsushi’s lungs. 

The pair in front of him took a moment to parse through his verbal word salad. For the first time tonight, Akuatagawa spoke; “You really are an idiot Jinko.”

Atsushi was about to retort before his eyes met Akutagawa. Was that a smile? Not a sadistic grin or a condescending smirk but an honest to God smile? Before he could fully work out what that meant, Lucy jumped in. “Sorry Atsushi but I’ve got to agree with Aku on this one. You really are pretty stupid.”

Okay, wow not the reaction he was expecting. Despite being insulted, the words came out as endeared rather than disgusted. The pair's twin expressions of joy equally did not align with a rejection. Not unless they were both a hell of a lot more sadistic than Atsushi ever gave them credit for. What is happening right now?

Ast least Lucy recognised his confusion. “If you’d actually let me finish before going into your little doom spiral you would have known that we came here for exactly that reason. And you’d know that we don’t think you’re disgusting. Plus you definitely aren’t going to lose us. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.”

“Wait, so you’re saying..?” There was no way. Atsushi was just being delusional. 

“Yeah, we like you too, Atsushi. A lot. Despite the whole idiot thing.” 

Not for the first time, Atsushi was stunned into silence. He was part of a secret supernatural detective agency. He’d fought centuries old Russian terrorists. He could quite literally turn into a tiger. Yet somehow, this was the most unbelievable thing to ever happen in a whopping eighteen years of life. 

Although Atsushi was very tempted to continue starring in shocked silence, that probably wasn’t the best approach. Communication and all that. Besides, there was more to work out. After all, a relationship between two people was complicated enough but three? He was fairly certain that literally none of the people in this room had even gone on a date before. They really decided to jump into the deep end, huh. Not to mention, while he now had confirmation of the pair’s feelings for him, he was unaware of how they felt about each other. 

“That’s great! Like, genuinely I don’t know the last time I felt this happy! But, um, what about you two? I didn’t even know you guys were friends. Is this a "you both just want to date me " situation or are you guys, like, interested in each other as well?” They came to confront him together, sure, but before today Atsushi was certain they had never even met. 

Lucy quickly averted eye contact. Meanwhile Akutagawa let out an awkward cough. “We, ah, we had a brief conversation about it before coming to see you. I believe we are both of the mentality that we are all interested in each other. Montgomery and I have certainly crossed the realm separating friend and partner at this point.”

Twin blushes now adorned their faces. How incriminating. Atsushi wasn’t a detective for nothing. He filed that information away for later investigation. For now though, he was too happy to care. Both his crushes wanting to date him was one thing. Now he knew they also liked each other. Yeah, this was possibly one of the greatest days of Atsushi’s life. Only one thing left to do, in that case.

“So Lucy, I know you have the weekend off. What about you Akutagawa, you free?” They both gave him a puzzled look.

“Well, yes I suppose. Higuchi’s going in to finish up some paperwork so as far as I’m aware I shouldn’t be needed. Why?” Akutagawa answered willingly enough, although with a confused tone.

“Isn’t it obvious? Can’t exactly have a first date without you. Despite what you may think, I’m a gentleman. I’m hardly going to ask the two hottest people in Yokohama out and then not treat them to the best night of their lives.” Atsushi beamed at the pair. 

The twin flushed look was back. It was likely more due to surprise than any actual suaveness. Still Atsushi was counting it as a win. Once they’d actually sorted out the logistics of their first date, the two stayed in his apartment far later than was probably appropriate. Screw it, they’d finally sorted out the most stressful weeks of all of their lives. Besides, it's not like Kyouka was home to rat him out to the others. 

Speaking of, one nagging thought remained at the back of Atsushi’s mind; Kyouka was never going to let him live this down.