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sar!! @goldenherald
hot girls love cosmic motifs
[image description: screenshots of Jayce Talis’ and Machine Herald’s latest music videos side-by-side]
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#1 jayce shooter @talispookie
get your ugly ass white man away from jayce
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sar!! @goldenherald
??? he’s literally a robot and we don’t know what he looks like
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#1 jayce shooter @talispookie
get your ugly ass robot man away from jayce
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machine herald’s cumslut @gloriousovulation
don’t insult machine herald like that
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sar!! @goldenherald
y’all don’t like jayce just bc he’s mainstream!! learn some fun and whimsy
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machine herald’s cumslut @gloriousovulation
learn to kys
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[user @gloriousovulation has been banned.]
Lsdfjk @silentscreaming
Wait, who’s the artist on the left? They look kinda cool
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Jayce set down his phone. “Cait, who’s Machine Herald?”
“No idea,” she replied, not looking up from her laptop on which she was typing furiously, “Vi might know. They sound like some underground counterculture artist she’d be into. Why’d you ask?”
Jayce sighed. How was he going to explain this chaos? He was barely on social media these days, so all the language they used may as well be gibberish to him. All he knew was that his loyal fans “stanned” him, and that was enough, thank you very much. Did he want to know what “oomf” meant? No. It sounded inappropriate. “Well, I logged into Twitter after a long while, and I found that some fans of mine made some… posts.”
That made Cait scowl, finally looking over her laptop. “Jayce, you’ll have to be more specific. I’m literally a publicist. This is my area.”
Defeated, Jayce slid his phone across the kitchen counter and towards her.
After a long while of reading, Caitlyn burst out laughing.
“This is great,” she wheezed.
"What?" he exclaimed in half-serious disbelief. His fans were fighting because of him, probably getting bullied off the platform, and Caitlyn was laughing? Jayce didn’t want this; he was a peaceful person, mostly, and he tried to promote those values to his fans. Besides, his good-boy-kumbaya-my-lord image seemed to be working well for his album sales, and Heimerdinger was certainly pleased with that regardless of how Jayce felt.
“Look at how many likes and retweets it got, Jayce,” Caitlyn pointed out, “If anything, this is good exposure for Defender .”
“Not sure that it’s necessarily good exposure,” Jayce objected, “Like, look! They’re pitting me against this Herald guy, whoever he is. My fans don’t want anything to do with him, and his fans don’t want anything to do with me. This doesn't seem productive for anyone.”
Caitlyn raised her eyebrows. She almost looked sympathetic. “Chill out, will you? Fanwars like these happen all the time. It’ll blow over in a few days.”
Jayce debated saying something, but figured that he had probably opened his mouth enough for the day. Caitlyn knew a whole lot more about these things than he did, having gone through extensive media training since she came out of the womb. Her mother was legendary classical singer Cassandra Kiramman, after all, and Caitlyn had grown up as an extension of her, bombarded by blinding flashes and invasive questions for the majority of her existence. Though Jayce had initially been surprised, he had come to understand why she’d discarded stardom to work in the background—especially once his own career had started to grow. Now, Caitlyn sipped coffee in his kitchen while orchestrating the downfalls of his so-called artistic rivals.
Not that he had ever asked her to, though. Jayce had kept a relatively drama-free career up until now.
“Alright, I’ll take your word for it,” he acquiesced. “You sure this Machine Herald guy isn’t going to be a problem, though?”
“Trust me, he won’t,” Caitlyn said. “But sure, I’ll look into him just in case.”
Lsdfjk @silentscreaming
Wait, who’s the artist on the left? They look kinda cool
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elliot | stream divine machinery @theoceanburned
MACHINE HERALD is an experimental artist who combines electronic, hyperpop and rock to form a unique and genre-bending sound. Hidden under a nonhuman mask, the Herald explores what it means to exist and the limitations of our mortal forms. Join the evolution.
[video description: an edit of Machine Herald set to his song, ‘DIVINE MACHINERY’]
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Lsdfjk @silentscreaming
So it’s a cult?
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elliot | stream divine machinery @theoceanburned
yea
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Lsdfjk @silentscreaming
Cool. I’m in.
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Poo Crave @poocrave
Jayce Talis was seen throwing his drink at fellow artist MACHINE HERALD.
“Stupid twink,” he told the press.
[image description: a picture from one of Jayce’s photoshoots, where he sits on a stool and poses against an opaque background]
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certified jayce hater @piss_jester
most normal jayce interaction
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When Jayce performed, it was like he lost awareness of his physical form, everything melting around him. The cool air hitting his skin, the blinding spotlights, and even the familiar hum of his own amplified voice—that all faded into the background. He couldn’t remember what had been troubling him before. All that remained was the thread connecting him to the audience. He’d always envisioned it as a golden twine wrapped around his heart, splitting into millions across the auditorium. Perhaps that was too poetic, but what could he say? Seeing all of these faces, some transfixed, some gently swaying along to the beat, reminded him why he did this.
People loved music, no matter who they were.
After his song ended, the crowd roared into applause. This audience was generally more restrained than his fans, who would have torn their lungs out screaming by now, brandishing increasingly obsessive signage. The sound that reverberated across this concert hall made his heart swell nonetheless.
“Give another round of applause for Jayce Talis, everyone!” the announcer’s voice crackled onto the speakers. The faces in the audience started to take shape again—A-list celebrities and CEOs in their tuxedos and shimmering dresses, clapping politely. This was his second charity concert of the year, for an orphanage somewhere in Zaun. Jayce was not sure how many of these people actually cared for the cause, and how many were just here for the appearance of helping. One glance at his former vocal coach’s table revealed that Salo was definitely here for the mimosas. Either way, their money went to a good cause, even if Jayce wished their hearts were different.
“That is the end of our performances,” the announcer said, “Please feel free to mingle and enjoy the food and drinks.”
As soon as he stepped off the stage, he came face-to-face with Mel Medarda.
“That was wonderful, Jayce,” she said.
“Thanks.” He still had a slight grin on his face from his performance. “I could say the same about yours.”
He and Mel had broken up on good terms a year ago. While Jayce had needed some time to recover from his lingering feelings, Mel had returned straight to her friendly professionality, as though she had forgotten about their time together. He knew that wasn’t true, though; their relationship had laid a foundation for a trusting friendship. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop the press from making a fuss whenever they were revealed to be participating in the same event.
“I can’t help but wonder if this is overwhelming you, though,” she muses as they walk to their table, “having just completed your Defender press tour and planning for an actual tour. Maybe it’s time to prioritize.”
“Mel, I appreciate it, but I’m fine. I really want to be doing this.”
“Alright, alright,” she said, “they all love you anyways, you know.”
“Yeah,” he chuckled, but there was a twinge in his gut. Of course they do, he thought, I have to make them love me.
“Jayce, my boy!” Heimerdinger’s bearded face appeared out of the corner of his eye. He was sitting at a table surrounded by familiar faces. “Come say hi to your former judges.”
Jayce greeted them politely—Haskel, Shoola, Bolbook, the judges who had voted “yes” to him in that singing competition years ago. He knew he should be thankful for them, but when he glanced at them, his gut reaction was often discomfort at the fact that these few people alone had determined the trajectory of his life with just one word.
“It’s been so rewarding to see you have one success after the other,” Shoola commented.
“Certainly,” Bolbook nodded, his expensive gold jewelry clinking, “You’ve always been a bright young man.”
“Thank you, sir.” Jayce stood there sheepishly. He never knew what to say to these people, who had miles more experience and status than he did. He may be considerably famous, but they always put him under scrutiny.
“Bright indeed!” Haskel chuckled after downing his drink. A rich man’s laugh, his mother would have called it, if she were still alive.
“I’m a little concerned for your album, though,” Shoola said, “You have to make sure your fans like it as much as the previous ones.”
“Not only that,” Haskel added, “But they have to like you, too, boy. Keep being the Golden Boy of Pop, will you?”
“Yes, yes, of course,” Jayce reassured him. It was all he had ever known—at least, as far as everyone was aware.
“Don’t disappoint us, Jayce,” Haskel smiled, “More importantly, don’t disappoint your fans.”
machine herald’s cumslut | revived era @gloriousmenstruation
IM BACK!!! anyways, didn’t talis get kicked out of his university in 2015 or smth?
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Jayce Talis Updates @talisupdates
wtf???? what for????
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machine herald’s cumslut | revived era @gloriousmenstruation
breaking and entering, apparently
[image description: a screenshot of legal document scans expelling Jayce Talis from Piltover University, with the reason being “breaking and entering.”]
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Jayce Talis Updates @talisupdates
idk, jayce doesn’t seem like the type to do that. the document seems legit, tho…
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Kalcifer @weirdautumn
this is why machine herald is better than jayce y’all. come to the dark side
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mylu @myu934
wait, is it true that jayce harassed machine herald or did someone just make that up?
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machine herald’s cumslut | revived era @gloriousmenstruation
it’s true.
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machine herald shady facts @shadyherald
wait there’s that one disney movie that jayce talis was set to star in right? hear me out: herald should replace him. the fairytale prince opens his mouth and an autotuned robot voice just comes out. would be better than talis’ “music” tbh
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One unfortunate side effect of livestreaming a charity concert was that the reporters got an instant ping of his exact location. As soon as he stepped outside, microphones were stuffed in his face, blocking his path.
“Jayce! Jayce!”
“Jayce, can you look over here?”
“Please,” Jayce said, “one at a time.”
Though Cait had reassured him that this was a good thing, that it meant he captured people’s attention, Jayce wanted nothing more than to get home and relax. Not wanting to come off as unfriendly, he at least put on a smile.
“Jayce, will there be a Defender tour?”
“You’ll have to be patient,” was his quick reply as he attempted to weave through the crowd to where his car was waiting. “We’re still working on it.”
“Jayce, can you speak Spanish for us?”
“Sí,” he said, and flashed his charming grin.
“Jayce, are you working on a new album?”
I just released one, he grumbled in his mind, but said, “Maybe.”
“Jayce, are you excited for your first voice acting role?”
“Jayce, what’s your current relationship with Mel?”
Click. A camera blinded him.
“Jayce! Jayce!”
“Can you address the rumors that you have a new girlfriend?”
Jayce almost flinched at that. For a press that claimed to be celebratory of diversity, they had gotten increasingly heteronormative after his relationship with Mel. He simply smiled at that question.
“Jayce, have you seen the article about you and Machine Herald?”
Machine Herald. The name made Jayce’s heart jump, the familiarity pulling him out of the water. “What article?”
“The one on Buzzfeed,” the interviewer said, and shoved her phone into his face:
Buzzfeed: Why are Jayce Talis and MACHINE HERALD fans beefing? Has Talis been “exposed”? Everything you need to know about this musical feud
“It’s all over S, too,” the interviewer added, and switched a tab on her phone.
Trending on S
#JAYCEISOVERPARTY
#REPLACEJAYCE
HERALD VS. JAYCE
BOYCOTT JAYCE
“I—um, no I haven’t seen that, thank you,” he bit out, hoping to dismiss the people swarming him with a show of politeness. Suddenly, the crowd threatened to close up around him, the amalgamation of skin and fabric brushing him raw. He had to get out of here.
What exactly had happened in the time he had been offline?
Head spinning, Jayce pulled out his phone.
7 missed calls from Cait
Call me now.
Well, he was fucked.