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I am going to lose my mind, I’m sure of it. They’re going to wheel me away while I’m drooling from one corner of my mouth or shouting nonsensical gibberish at tired and underpaid caretakers in white robes who politely nod their head at everything I say while injecting me with a tranquilizer that could knock out a horse.
Pardon me if that was a little harsh of an introduction, I should probably start from the beginning.
Briseis had been the one to first suggest I’d hit the gym.
”You could use to get some muscles on these, you know”, she said with a quirked eyebrow and a teasing smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth while holding up my right arm as if to inspect it more closely. I was in the middle of making dinner and had the sleeves of my hoodie rolled up so they wouldn’t get in the way while I was chopping vegetables, so my stick thin upper and lower arm was on full display.
”Rude”, I huffed with a pout while pulling my arm out of her grip again. But also true, I couldn’t help but add mentally. Briseis grinned as if she’d read my mind.
”You could tag along with me to my gym, I’m sure you’ll love it, Pat”, she shrugged, reaching over my shoulder and snatching up a piece of carrot that she popped into her mouth, munching away on it cheerily as she sank down on one of the stools at the kitchen counter.
”Yeah, sure, why not”, I shrugged in return, mostly to get her to drop the topic.
So, for all intents and purposes, if anyone asked, this is all Briseis’ fault.
Not that the gym she took me to only a couple of days later isn’t good, because it is. It’s great, actually. It has a large selection of machines, a pool and even a tennis court. The trainers are all very friendly and never condescending when you ask them a question or when they correct your form. On my first day there, Briseis even introduced me to the owner, a nice, albeit quite hairy and often bare chested, middle aged guy named Chiron, who gave me a sample session, going through most of the available machines to show me how they worked.
I’ve been going to this gym for a little more than a year now and have already bulked up considerably, making my body nearly unrecognizable from when I first started out with my training, at least from the chin downwards.
All in all it sounds like I’m having a great time at this gym, doesn’t it? Wrong!
That is, I probably would have a great time there if it wasn’t for him.
I can’t tell you his name because I don’t actually know it. And even if I did, I probably wouldn’t use it. In my mind he’s just ‘Adonis’. Which sounds flattering if you don’t know the full context, but I really mean it in a derogatory way.
Adonis had been at that gym for way longer than me, at least from what Briseis told me when I had gathered the courage to mention him to her. I didn’t notice his presence until my third week or so of going there but as soon as I did I wondered to myself how I could have ever overlooked him. The guy looks like he lives at the gym. He looks like he stepped right out of an eighties fitness glamour magazine. He’s the embodiment of every dumb jock trope condensed into one singular person. He’s the missing love child of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Silvester Stallone in Rocky IV. He probably did a barrel roll out of his mother’s womb and went straight to lifting weights and doing pull-ups.
Adonis is about my height, if not a little taller. He’s one of these people that somehow manage to look tanned all year round, but never in a fake way. He has bright blond hair that he sometimes pulls back into a ponytail but mostly just lets it flowing past his massive shoulders. His chest, lower arms and legs are also covered in light, golden hair, that contrasts starkly with his caramel colored skin. His style of dressing is nothing dramatic or overly attention seeking, as you would expect from an athlete of his apparent caliber, but all of it looks pretty expensive, so I assume he - or at least his family - is loaded.
None of that would bug me on principle. So there’s a guy more athletic than me at the gym, shocker! Probably half the people there are, most likely more, even after my - as Briseis so lovingly calls it - “gym bro transformation”.
That’s not the problem I have with Adonis. It’s not even that he’s rude or arrogant or anything. From what I can tell - which isn’t much because I’ve never spoken a single word with him - he’s actually quite nice. The smile on his frustratingly handsome face never seems to waver and every time he walks past the reception he‘ll exchange at least a few polite words with the staff. He never forgets to clean the machines after using them, never stays longer at one of them than he needs to, makes room as quickly as he can when he sees someone else is waiting.
The actual problem with Adonis isn‘t himself but his ‘entourage’. His “fan club” as Briseis and I like to call it. The one thing that makes Adonis’ presence so irritating, so infuriating to me is the flock of at least five to six people always following him around wherever he goes. Wherever he is, you can be sure they will be also, sooner or later. He’s their god, they adore him and everything he does and they fall over themselves to get noticed by him.
This group mostly consists of gym bros that ogle Adonis while he’s doing his workout, as if they aspire to absorb his strong-man aura if they stay in his sweat and testosterone laden proximity or something. Occasionally there’re one or two women thrown into the mix, batting their eyelashes or leaning seductively against the nearest machine while Adonis is doing chest presses. None of them try for very long though, as Adonis seems to be setting clear boundaries with them at least. Only one of them, a short woman with dark, curly hair and a pointy face - Deidameia, as I noticed her being called by one of the flock once - seems to not have gotten the hint yet, and she’s been bothering Adonis for several weeks now.
In a way I feel sorry for Adonis. I mean, it’s not his fault he’s being chased by these people, who form a dense crowd around him and all scramble to be the first wherever they think he’s going to go next, blocking machines to save them for him by angrily glaring at everyone who even indicates they want to use them. He didn’t ask for any of this, doesn’t put in a whole lot of effort to disparage it either however, just smiles and lets himself be doted on. He apologizes if his admirers shoo away some other poor gym goer so he can take over their machine, but he never discourages them from doing so either. Most other people have learned to just come to the gym when they know Adonis is not going to be there, or they quickly leave when him and his folks show up. I probably would do that too, if I could. I have tried doing that, in fact.
Which brings me to the other thing about Adonis that irritates me to no end: He seems to have an astonishing talent to show up wherever I am within the span of just a few seconds. I can do what I want to avoid him, come to the gym very early in the morning or really late in the evening, more often than not, he’ll be there. And when I try to stay in a corner of the gym far away from him, he’ll have moved over to me within a few minutes, his admirers right in toe. At this point, I’m basically fleeing the scene whenever he shows up, but to no avail. Wherever I am, he’ll be somewhere in sight almost right away, along with his annoying shadow. It’s like I’m cursed.
”You could change gyms”, Briseis suggested once when we left the place and I was fuming with frustration and rage after another training ruined by Adonis and his mob. The idea is brought up in a really halfhearted way and not reiterated when I don’t say anything in return. She knows it’s not going to happen, we both do. I like our gym and - more importantly - it’s the most affordable one within a 10 mile radius. That aside, it’s now almost a point of pride for me now not to let myself be forced out of the place by this guy and his mal-mannered band of cheerleaders. Why should I move on from a space I like and have carved out for myself, just because he regards it as his territory? That’s not my problem. Even though it’s probably going to drive me up the walls sooner or later.
Briseis and I arrive at the gym at around 3 p.m.
”Hey Chiron”, I greet the owner with a nod as I pass the entrance counter. “Is the mob here yet?”
It’s always the same question I ask as soon as I arrive and it gets me the same, lopsided smirk in return it does every time, Chiron’s dark brown eyes briefly skipping up from some paperwork to fixate on me.
”On the first floor”, he says with a nod, the rumble of his voice indicating a suppressed chuckle. Instantly, my mood sinks and I pull a grimace.
”I hoped we’d miss them”, I grumble, moving past the counter to head straight towards the men’s changing rooms without looking behind to check if Briseis is going to change as well. I put on my workout clothes and come out the room, eyes skipping through the quiet and - at this hour of the day - rather empty ground level area of the gym. Briseis is nowhere to be seen, so I assume she’s not done changing yet.
I head for the treadmills in the corner to warm myself up while I’m waiting for her. I’ve barely made it to two minutes of relaxed jogging when I hear the tell-tale sound of hurried steps coming down the stairs. I let my eyes skip over quickly and don’t even attempt to hold in the deep sigh that escapes me when I see who it is that’s coming rushing down the stairs.
It’s Deidameia, who basically falls down into the ground-level area, throwing her head around, her eyes skipping about the place as she’s, no doubt, scouting out the next machine for Adonis to use. Not far behind her follow several guys who I immediately recognise as part of Adonis’ fan club, and, ultimately, the man himself comes strolling down the stairs as well. He has a towel slung over his broad shoulders, whistling to himself and, all in all, seems quite pleased with the world. His eyes wander upwards after he’s reached the bottom of the stairs and they briefly lock with mine. I quickly look away, feeling a burn on my cheeks that has nothing to do with my warm-up.
I hear Adonis exchange some words with his friends as I silently pray that he picks some spot in the room far away from where I’m at.
Of course I’m not that lucky.
The group’s excited voices come nearer and nearer until I risk another, brief glance to my right and note, with a sinking heart, that Adonis is fixing to step on the treadmill right next to mine, his fan club surrounding him with beaming grins on their faces. I try paying them no mind as I continue with my run but I feel some glares directed my way and hear one or two of them coming up behind me, impatiently clicking their tongues and tapping their feet as they obviously expect me to make room for them to workout along with their idol. For fuck’s sake!
Adonis doesn’t step on the treadmill right away. I hear him exchange some more words with his friends in a hushed murmur but I refuse to listen to him anymore, purely out of principle. He’s probably telling them to get rid of me somehow, but I won’t let myself be removed just because he thinks he owns the gym. It’s not my problem he has to show up wherever I am! I’m not going to leave until Briseis shows up! Screw him and his flock of sheep!
I continue on my run, my face stoically angled straight ahead. I only pause slightly, frowning, when I see one of Adonis’ admirers hurrying through my field of vision and away out the door. I’m even more confused when first two and then a third guy follow right after the first one.
I forget my pride for a second and look to the side to see that Adonis’ following has significantly thinned down with only a handful of people remaining, including Deidameia. Adonis is still talking to them instead of getting on the treadmill to continue on his workout and whatever it is he’s saying, the others aren’t too happy about it, especially Deidameia, who has an obnoxious looking pout on her face. One by one, the guys around Adonis nod their heads in response to his words before they slowly disperse, one of them disappearing in the direction of the changing rooms, another going up the stairs again, a third one heading towards the entrance counter and another two following after the first batch out the main doors.
Only Adonis and Deidameia are left now. He’s still talking to her, now speaking more intently, his head slightly bowed to be eye-to-eye with her, his hand clutching at her shoulder. She’s shaking her head at his words, still with the same pout on her face and even a slight glistening to her large, blue eyes. It takes another whole minute before Adonis’ words seem to finally reach her and she nods her head, not looking at him anymore before she stomps away and out the main door. Adonis looks after her for a moment, his expression maybe a tad pitying but he seems mostly relieved to be rid of her. I can’t blame him on that one, as bad as I suddenly feel about it.
Finally, Adonis pulls the towel down from his shoulders and hangs it onto the treadmill’s handrail, climbing up and turning it on, immediately starting to run with a slightly quicker pace than me.
After this whole, weird display I’m having difficulties to still concentrate on my warm-up and I’m about to end my run when a voice beside me nearly makes me stumble.
”Sorry about all of that…”
I whip my head around to find that Adonis is looking right at me, a lopsided, apologetic smirk on his handsome, tanned face, his eyes twinkling with a striking, green gleam. I’m so unprepared to be addressed by him at all that all I can muster is a raspy: “‘S fine.”
”They can be a bit stifling, but they mean well”, he carries on. How he can talk casually while running at this quick of a pace, I have no clue. Is this guy even human?
I’m not sure if his statement asked for a response so I simply don’t give one, just vaguely shrug one shoulder as I carry on running. It takes me a moment to remember that I was about to end my warm-up. At this point, I’m way better warmed-up than I even need to be, plus slightly annoyed that I’ve let myself get so distracted by these guys that I forgot to keep track of my workout. I end my run on the treadmill and slowly come to a halt as it runs out before I hop off at the end of it.
”I was wondering-!”
I was about to leave when Adonis’ words make me pause again. I glance over my shoulder with a frown and to my baffled surprise, Adonis apparently immediately stopped his run when he saw me end mine and has hopped off the treadmill, quickly walking up to me. He’s standing directly in front of me now. Even though he’s been somewhere in my vicinity a lot these past few months, I’ve never seen him this up close. He’s even more handsome when you can make out the details of his face, the immaculate arch of his nose, the slightly freckled skin there, his almond-shaped eyes, whose colour is even more intense when their gaze is directed right at you or the tempting rose tint to his full lips. It’s somehow both exciting and infuriating how perfect this guy looks. I feel both turned on and jealous.
He doesn’t carry on with his sentence, so I ask:
”You were wondering…?”
He blinks like he forgot he’s been speaking at all.
”I’ve been wondering… what’s your name?”
It doesn’t really sound like that’s what he was about to say, or at least that it was the full truth. I answer it anyway because I don’t see the harm in doing so:
”Patroclus.”
”Pa-tro-clus…” He lets the syllables of my name roll around on his tongue like a sweet treat. Damn, it sounds good when he says my name. His voice isn’t exactly deep, but melodic and a little raspy. I bet he has a killer singing voice too. For a second I want to tell him that others mostly call me Pat, but I bite my tongue before I can do so. I’m toying with the idea of having him say my full name again. Something tells me he prefers it like this anyway.
”Well, Patroclus…”, he says, putting another pause after my name, again, like he wants to savor it. The thought sends shivers down my spine. It takes a sweet moment before I register that my opposite has stuck out his hand for me to shake. When I do so his palm is pleasantly dry and warm and I’m acutely aware that I’ve already started sweating slightly from my warm-up. “My name’s Achilles.”
I almost laugh out loud at the similarities of the name with the secret nickname that I’ve given him. Achilles and Adonis, I really wasn’t that far off. I feel a quick shot of panic go through me at the thought of slipping up and accidentally calling him Adonis but before the fear can really manifest, he’s started talking again, distracting me:
”I have to confess… I’ve been struggling to build up the courage to talk to you.”
He looks sheepish when he says this. There’s a blush on his face that can’t come from his one and a half minutes of running on the treadmill and he’s scratching at the back of his neck. I blink at him, incredulously. This can’t be… is he truly flirting with me now!? Is this actually happening?
I surreptitiously pinch myself to check if I’m dreaming, but after the little spike of pain is gone I’m still very much at Chiron’s gym and Ado- Achilles is still very much standing in front of me, looking down at me with open admiration.
Okay… wow, okay… calm down, Pat, don’t blow this now.
”Y-you sure it was courage getting in your way and not your fan club?”
Oh my god, I should have said friends! Friends, not fan club, you’re being a weirdo, Patroclus.
My rush of panic is relieved again by a small chuckle coming from Achilles, the corners of his eyes crinkling delightfully as he laughs. I can’t help but join in on his laughter, it’s too infectious.
”Yeah, like I said, they can be a bit overbearing. I hope they’re not bothering you too much. I know I’ve been in your… proximity a lot. I was waiting for the opportunity to talk to you while we were both alone, you see. I hope my friends haven’t been annoying you too much.”
The truth would have been a definite yes, but in this moment my head’s swimming so much from these earth shattering discoveries that I can’t even remember ever being bothered by anything ever. Achilles has been hanging out around me because he wanted to hit on me!? I have to stop myself from pinching my arm again. This feels too fantastical to be real. The guy who’s wheedled by everybody and hit on 24/7 really has a crush on little old me? I feel the need to sit down somewhere.
”Would you-…”, Achilles begins again, a nervous edge to his voice and I realize that I haven’t said anything for a hot minute, which probably discouraged him. “…would you maybe… I don’t know, like to fetch a coffee sometimes? I-I’d like to give you my number, if that’s okay, so we can make up a date.”
His eyes slightly widen as soon as the word makes it past his
lips, as if he didn’t mean to actually say it. He doesn’t back down from it though, just looks at me with anticipation. I open and close my mouth several times before actual words make it past my lips. They sound dry and slightly pathetic but at least I’m not stuttering too badly.
”Yeah uhm, I’d like that. A lot.”
The smile that opens on his face could rival the freaking sun. He sticks a hand into the pocket of his sweatpants and hands me a post-it that has his phone number already written down on it. I try not to think too hard about the fact that he’s been carrying the note with him, already prepared, as I feel it in my palm. How long has it been in his pocket already?
The blush I develop at that thought makes my whole face heat up and I worry that he’s noticing it but when I look up from the note again, he’s hastily packing his things already before picking up his duffle-bag.
”Alright, I guess I see you around. Or text you! Or both!”, he rushes out, not quite looking at me when he gets up from the floor again, his face as red as mine feels.
Oh. My. God.
”Yeah”, I croak out and as if it’s the cue he’s been waiting for, Achilles bolts out the doors most of his friends have left through earlier.
I look after him, even after he’s already long gone, my brain having difficulties to catch up with the events. Finally, I look down at the note I got from him before I scramble to get my phone from my bag. I quickly type in the number that’s on the post-it before crumbling it with my hand and shoving it into the pocket of my shorts. I hesitate for a heartbeat before I save the number under a simple ‘A’.
My heart’s beating up my throat when I raise my head, looking about the room with a sort of feverish frenzy. Briseis is still nowhere in sight so I assume she’s gone up the stairs to look for me after not spotting me through Ad- Achilles‘ group of friends. I pick up my stuff and hurry towards the stairs to go search for her.
When I pass the check-in, I spot Chiron following me with his eyes, a knowing smirk on his face. I glare heatlessly at him before turning forwards again and rushing up the stairs.
As expected, Briseis laughs for two full minutes when I tell her what has happened with Achilles.
”I should have seen it coming!”, she cries when she’s somewhat calmed down, swatting my upper arm with the back of her hand while the other’s still wiping tears of laughter from the corners of her eyes.
”You think?”, I ask her doubtfully. “Because I would have never ever seen that coming in a million years.”
”That’s ‘cause you’re dumb”, she states matter-of-factly.
”Wow, thanks, best friend”, I retort dryly.
”Don’t get me wrong, you’re really, really smart, but you’re also dumb”, she clarifies cheerfully. She gives me a long, weirdly charged look that I try not to react to. I fail, of course.
”What?”
”Are you gonna text him and ask him out?”
”He’s given me his number like… not even three hours ago. Isn’t there an unspoken rule about that or something?”
”You already did, didn’t you?”
”… Yeah.”
I do end up slipping and accidentally calling Achilles ‘Adonis’, about six months later. It’s really not my fault. I‘d really like to see you try to keep up a coherent thought when you see your boyfriend step out of your shower without warning. Of course it ends with me confessing all of my thoughts about him before our first conversation. I’m as red as a tomato and stammering by the end.
Achilles just thinks it’s hilarious and presses a kiss to my cheek, which doesn’t help the stupid, stubborn blush there at all. Something in his shit-eating grin tells me he knew that.