Work Text:
The air outside was biting cold, numbing fingers that could not be warmed even by the body dancing next to him. Music beating against his already aching ears and harsh breaths that did not fill him with any sense of relief, Merlin ignored all of it, closing his eyes and losing himself to the strong whiskey the other man bought for him. Merlin has already forgotten his name.
Here I lie, in a lost and lonely part of town.
His blood was pumping hot and heavy, his heart beating strong and never ending; the other man could feel his pulse where Merlin’s arm was hooked around his neck. The man was strong and tan, almost too tan, unlike Him. His eyes were a stormy blue, something that Merlin could not find himself wanting to explore like he should.
Held in time, in a world of tears I slowly drown.
The disco lights are too bright, the other man’s voice too deep, and all Merlin wants to do is curl up in his bed at home. He has not been able to do that for almost 1,500 years. The man feels Merlin turn to look at the door and asks if he wants to go back to his place or Merlin’s. Merlin just feels sick.
Goin’ home, I just can’t make it all alone.
He shakes his head, he cannot do this. He tried so hard, and it has been centuries. He needs to get over this. But how could he abandon Him? Leave Him in his memories? He still feels the other man’s arms around his waist; the weight feels wrong. He feels wrong. Not like how it felt to hold Him, even on that day.
I really should be holding you, holding you.
“Come on,” he says, “just one night?” But he does not want another second. Looking past his shaggy, light brown hair and into his eyes, he tells him no. His mind, his body, his soul, his heart all scream the word.
Loving you, loving you.
He is finally let go, and as Merlin walks out of the night club he hears the chime of Christmas bells as the world turns onto Christmas day, leaving the 24th behind and in the past. Meanwhile, Merlin will forever be stuck on that day.
Tragedy.