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1. Hostel Situations by Probabilities

   Fandoms: Real Person Fiction, United Healthcare CEO Assassin - Fandom, United Healthcare Assassin - Fandom, United Healthcare CEO, United Healthcare Shooter, The Adjuster - Fandom  

   • Mature
   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • F/M
   • Work in Progress

   06 Jan 2026

   Tags

   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • United Healthcare Shooter/OC
   • United Healthcare CEO Assassin/FMC
   • UnitedHealthcare CEO Shooter | Brian's Thompson (Businessperson)'s Assassin
   • Luigi Mangione
   • tagging this was so fucking funny
   • AO3 is like ... idk what those tags are. we don't have them
   • bitch yes you do.
   • Sexual Tension
   • Romantic Tension
   • Meet-Cute
   • Eventual Smut
   • eventual like chapter 4 ok
   • welp time to edit these tags
   • Oral Sex
   • Fingerfucking
   • Bondage
   • i fear there's no proper name for what happens in chapter 5
   • or tag
   • um
   • Public Sex...?
   • Light Dom/sub
   • Spanking
   • the shame of editing the tags after every post because there's just... more
   • Unprotected Sex
   • Exhibitionism
   • nvm there's definitely a word for it
   • who is flying the plane because it's certainly not me anymore
   • Aftercare
   • i plead the fucking fifth
   • just editing the tags again in shame
   • Anal Play
   • blindfolding
   • Rough Sex
   • put this story in the darkest corner and do not let it out of its cage
   • Dark Romance
   • because at this point it is
   • and somewhere along the way this evolved into a full on book
   • join me on this journey
   • just me ! here to edit the tags again!
   • primal play
   • MMC Pining
   • remember when i told myself this would be my first story under 100k words
   • Well - Freeform
   • no.
   • Luigi Mangione is a character but not the MMC heads up
   • do not drag me for this i have creative liberties

   Summary

   In which a hostel deskie named Gwen meets a charming young man who is not at all who he says he is, and turns her life upside down with a single sip of coffee.

   ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

   A United Healthcare CEO assassin fanfic that I accidentally made a legitimate plot for. I am not sorry.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   151,169

   Chapters:

   32/?

   Comments:

   528

   Kudos:

   509

   Bookmarks:

   52

   Hits:

   16,896