Work Text:
It’s a Thursday, the fifth Thursday since Eddie came back to El Paso, when he sees a message from Buck appear on his lockscreen.
Buck
I spoke to Bobby and he said I could have next week off
How would you feel if I came to El Paso?
For the week that is
Or not?
That’s totally fine as well
Just let me know
A smile appears on his face as he reads the messages from his best friend.
The hardest part about leaving LA was without a doubt, leaving his best friend, leaving Buck. He never imagined he would have to say goodbye to the only constant in his life, the only person who could make it all ok when everything hurt, the only person he knew would always be there by his side no matter what he did. It was Buck. Of course he was always there. And Eddie wouldn’t have it any other way.
It’s why being in El Paso was such an adjustment, other than being back in Texas, constantly being in close proximity to his parents, starting at a new firehouse where he didn’t know anyone and really just being transported back to when he was a teenager. But if he takes all that away, the thing he misses the most, the hardest adjustment he’s had to make is Buck and the fact that he’s not there.
It’s been five weeks and nothing has been able to shake the feeling that there is a deep hole burning inside him. He tries to put it out of his mind, the constant feeling of missing his other half, being incomplete without Buck, but everything reminds him of his best friend.
At work, there’s a guy, tall and dirty blonde almost brown hair, a bit impulsive and weird, at home Chris is a constant reminder and all the Buck stories don’t help and even his parents and sisters don’t make it any better with their constant questions of this “mysterious Buck person,” apparently Chris talks about him a lot. Not that Eddie’s much better.
Even something as simple as just watching the TV he finds himself reminded of Buck. The news? The host looks like Buck. The stupid property show he hates but can’t stop watching? The realtor’s name is Evan. The show Chris is obsessed with and won’t shut up about? Not Hotshots, the other one Eddie can never remember the name of. Chris’ favourite character is basically a carbon copy of Buck if you take looks away.
Some would call it fate or the universe working its magic and telling Eddie that he needs Buck in his life but Eddie’s far too cynical for that. Instead he takes it as a sign that Buck is way too entangled in his life.
A thought that only lasts a mere amount of minutes thanks to Buck’s message, or rather messages.
Eddie knows he’s smiling like an idiot in the middle of the station, a smile far too big for looking at one’s phone.
So far he’s managed to mostly blend in and no one’s really asked him too many questions or tried to get to know him an awful lot. He knows he’ll have to eventually but for now it’s nice to remain in the background.
He texts back a smiley face, telling Buck next week would be perfect. He also, as an afterthought, thinks to say Chris will be super excited. Which he will, but deep down he knows that he’s probably more excited than his own son will be.
He tries to take that feeling away because Buck is coming for Chris, he’s visiting Chris, Eddie’s just a bonus.
- - - - - - - -
He dreaded the weekly family dinners his parents had forced him to implement, “to make sure that Chris still gets to spend time with his family.” It was a load of crap, but it made Chris happy, so Eddie suffered through it.
It was the fifth Friday night dinner, except this time they were joined by Adriana and Sophia, peacekeepers. Things had gotten a little out of hand at last week's dinner so Chris called in the “cavalry” as he put it.
“How’s the new job going?”
He saw his parents like every second day and yet this was the first time they’d asked about work. He’d been working at this new firehouse for three weeks. It took them three weeks to ask, and then when they did they didn’t even get it right.
“It’s not new. It’s the same as what I was doing before, just at a different fire house.” His tone is short and sharp. He’s still a firefighter–a new station does not mean he has a new job.
“Well, how’s the new fire house going?”
He plays around with the food on his plate deciding on an answer. He doesn’t have any interest in telling them about his life, it’s not like they really care anyway. Instead he changes the topic.
He turns to face Chrsitopher who is sitting beside him, hoping that he will be as happy about the news as Eddie is.
Chris must feel Eddie’s eyes upon him since he turns around to look at his dad, a questioning expression on his face.
“What?”
“Um, I spoke to Buck earlier.” He carefully examines his son’s response to hearing Buck’s name.
They’ve come a long way in repairing their relationship in the short five weeks that they’ve had. It's far from perfect, but it's the best it's been in a long time. There were still some topics however, that had been left unspoken, namely Buck.
Eddie didn’t know the extent of Chris and Buck’s relationship after the Kim situation, he knew they talked but he didn’t know how much had changed, or for that matter, not changed. He and Buck never spoke about it, like it was some unwritten rule, or off limits. He knew it affected Buck, and he knew Chris would have been affected but that was really all he knew.
He just prayed that Chris would want to see Buck as much as he did, it had been significantly longer for him so Eddie was semi-confident.
“He’s going to come visit next week, for a few days.” He said it tentatively, wanting to make sure his son had a positive reaction. He thought if he said it slower then Chris couldn’t possibly be mad at it. It didn’t make a ton of sense but it seemed to work.
A large smile instantly beckoned on Chris’ face at the mention of Buck coming to visit.
“Really?”
He hadn’t seen his son so happy in a long time. He knew him and Buck had a special bond, one that made his heart flutter, knowing that his son had another person in his life that he could always rely on. Not many people had that, but thanks to Buck both he and his son did.
“Yeah, you’ll have to come up with a list of things to do.”
The smile on Chris’ face was more than enough to put one Eddie’s as well and for a moment he forgot everything else, he was just in this moment.
“Well, we have to go to the zoo,” Chris said matter of factly. “And we can go to the history museum, oh and we need to go to the archeology museum…”
Eddie finds himself laughing as Chris continues to ramble on, naming pretty much every place he can think of in El Paso. He’s excited, and that’s good.
“Buck is coming to visit? Is that the one we met in LA?”
His smile is pulled away when his mother opens her mouth.
He knows she’s asking to judge not because she cares.
If she cared she would have called ahead and not taken his son away or any of the other number of things she’s done to Eddie.
“Yes.”
“Oh.”
Eddie is irked by the judgement in her voice.
“What?”
He can tell from her tone there is something on her mind, something he doesn’t want to hear.
“Nothing. It’s just-”
“Does this mean I’ll finally get to meet him? Because I have heard about a million stories from the both of you and it would be nice to finally put a face to the name.”
He glares at Adriana and the ridiculous exaggerations that she’s making.
“We can go to Adventure Zone, Buck is really good at arcade games.”
“Ooh, some competition? I can’t wait.”
Great, now she’s never going to shut up about him.
“You can make an itinerary when we get home.”
“Ok.” Chris is a little disappointed but it wasn’t the most practical thing making one on the dinner table, in the middle of dinner.
“Now go help Tia Sophia.”
- - - - - - - -
“Dad! Hurry up. We’re going to be late.” Chris was so excited to see Buck, he’d gotten up an hour earlier than he needed to and was sat on the couch by 9:30, shouting at Eddie every few minutes to tell him to hurry up.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming, give me a minute.”
“Dad!”
“Ok! I’m coming”
The drive to the airport was a short but anxious one. Chris had been filling the silence with all the things he couldn’t wait to tell or do with Buck. He was so excited and it made Eddie so happy.
Getting out of the car, Eddie is as nervous as he ever has been. He’s seeing his best friend–Buck–for the first time in almost six weeks. It’s not like they haven’t talked everyday for those six agonising weeks, but it’s not the same as having Buck by his side.
He’s missed it more than he ever thought he could, more than he ever thought was possible. He’d missed Chris and felt alone when they were separated, but this was a different type of loneliness.
It made him nervous, anxious, scared. He’d never been scared to see or talk to Buck before, yet this time, his hands were shaking and he was certain he was going to faint.
He had dressed nicely–not too nicely–as the three of them were going out to lunch at this diner near Eddie’s station since he had work that afternoon.
“Come on dad, we don't want to miss him,” Chris calls out as he scurries off into the distance.
“Uh, yeah sure.”
Eddie’s barely able to think straight and walk without the worry of needing to keep up with Christopher. He’s excited and it’s sweet. It would be sweeter if Eddie didn’t feel like he was going to throw up however.
He wasn’t one to get nauseous ever, or panic–though the latter may not be super true much anymore. It was weird, he couldn’t understand why he was so apprehensive to see Buck. It’s Buck, the person he trusts most, the only one who he knows he always has. Nothing’s changed in the last six weeks, so why does the thought of Buck feel so different, wrong?
Eddie looks down at his watch, it reads 10:53, Buck’s plane landed over 40 minutes ago, he knows these things take time, but the longer he’s stood here the more anxious he gets.
It’s another 20 minutes before people start appearing that look like they’d be coming from Los Angeles.
His nerves settle but only until Chris speaks.
“Buck!”
“Chris, hey!”
Buck fastens his pace and picks Chris up like it’s the easiest thing in the world. He swiftly puts him down, but they don’t let go of each other just yet.
It’s a beautiful thing seeing his son and best friend reunite and love each other so much, it’s all he’s ever wanted for Chris–to have people in his life that truly care for him and he couldn’t be more glad that person is Buck.
Buck lets go of Chris and his attention turns towards Eddie. For a split second things are awkward. It’s the same that it’s always been just different .
“Eddie, hey.”
“Buck.”
The awkwardness doesn’t last long, as soon as Buck brings him in for a hug all the uneasiness goes away and Eddie’s never felt more complete than he does right now.
The hug lasts for, what most people would consider to be, a moment too long. Eddie didn’t think it was long enough but he was conscious that he was in the middle of the airport and it would be weird to be stood there hugging his best friend for an extended period of time.
Nonetheless, Eddie was just happy to be next to Buck. Things had felt off since he got to El Paso and for the first time in the following six weeks there was no deep gaping hole, or feeling of loneliness inside of him, just happiness and joy.
“I don’t know if Chris told you but he made a whole itinerary for your visit.” He says as the three of them begin their way back to Eddie’s truck.
“Oh, really?”
Eddie nods his head.
“So, what’s first on your list?”
“I was thinking we could go to the zoo? While dad’s at work.” There’s a bright smile on Christopher’s face, the zoo really is their place.
“Ooh, sounds fun.”
“And, they have a wildlife amphitheater where they teach you about animal encounters. It’s really cool.” Chris laughs.
The car ride to the diner was full of conversation and laughter, it was mainly Chris and Buck telling stories of what they’d been up to with Eddie interjecting here and there. He mostly stayed out of it allowing them to catch up, they did have over half a year worth of things to talk about, plus he could talk to Buck later anyway.
The diner they went to was a place Eddie frequented as a teenager, he’d only been a handful of times since then–most of which were in the last six weeks. It was one of his favourite places when he was younger and he was glad Chris enjoyed it as well.
“This place looks old,” is the first thing that comes out of Buck’s mouth as they walk in and yeah, it was a little rundown but that was part of the charm.
“Well yeah, I've been coming here since I was Chris' age.”
“So you know the menu?” Buck’s face lights up when he realises he can rely on Eddie for recommendations.
“Well it’s changed a lot since I was a teenager, but I've tried a few of the new things and my favourites from when I was younger are still on the menu.” His favourite, ever since he was young, was the chicken nuggets that they had but he was not going to let Buck know that.
“Great. What should I get?”
“Depends what you want, Buck.”
“Yeah but what would you recommend?” Truth be told, he didn’t have any recommendations, everything was good.
“Their pancakes are really good.” Chris says with a laugh.
“Not better than mine though, right?”
He wasn’t sure if Buck actually felt threatened or not or if it was more of a joke than anything but he felt the need to clarify that no, they weren’t better. “Nothing could beat your pancakes Buck.”
“Good.”
Amongst all the pancake chatter one of the waiters had made her way over to take their orders.
“Hi, what can I get for you today?”
Eddie looks at Chris to order first.
“Can I get the fried chicken and french fries?”
“Sure mister, what about you two?”
“Uh, I’ll get the bacon burger please.”
“Bacon?” Buck gives Eddie a look, one of disappointment, disgust? He’s not sure he just knows he’s being judged. Buck may disagree, but it actually tastes really good.
Buck then looks at the waiter and asks her, “what would you recommend?”
“Oh really Buck?”
Buck gives him another look.
“I’m a bit biased but I think our pumpkin soup is the best you can get, and when you pair it with the grilled cheese, delicious.”
“Ok, perfect I’ll get that.” Buck has a pleased smile on his face, one that can only make Eddie shake his head in amusement.
“Were you wanting to order any drinks?”
“Chris?”
“Can I have a strawberry milkshake?”
“Of course. Was that all?”
“Yes.”
“It’ll be out shortly.”
She walks off and they resume their prior conversation. Chris had brought the itinerary with him so they could discuss it over lunch. They got to the part about going to Adventure Zone when they’re interrupted by a familiar voice.
“Eddie.”
“Adri, what are you doing here?” He says with a strained face.
She ignores him and instead goes straight to Buck, “you must be Buck.” She puts her hand out for him to shake, which he hesitantly does.
“Uh, yeah.”
“I’m Adriana, Eddie’s youngest sister.”
“Oh, nice to meet you.” Buck looks at Eddie, confused by his sister's presence, something Eddie equally felt.
“It’s nice to finally meet the person in all of my brother and nephew’s stories”
Eddie can see the flustered look on Buck’s face, the realisation that he and Chris talk about him to his family.
“Oh, uh-”
She turns around to face Eddie, a determined look in her eye. “Mind if I join?” It’s a question but not really and she’s already sitting down before he can even answer.
“Sure, why not?” Is the response he mutters under his breath.
Eddie is not happy about Adriana joining them and taking away his “alone” time with Buck but whatever.
“So Buck you’ll have to tell me all the stories from LA that Eddie won’t tell me.”
“Maybe not in front of Chris.”
They both laugh and Eddie rolls his eyes.
Chris speaks up wanting to continue on with the itinerary. “I was telling Buck about Adventure Zone.”
“Oh?” She looks from Chris to Buck “Chris says you’re a competitive person?”
“That’s one way to put it.” Eddie finds himself saying.
“Hey! That's not true.”
“Really? Because the last time we went out you made me play fifteen games of darts because you kept losing and insisting that I was cheating.”
It had been an absolute nightmare, they’d spent two hours at that dart board only for Buck’s singular takeaway to be that Eddie was a cheat. He was insane.
“There is no way that you’re that good at darts.”
“Trust me we used to play as kids and he’s not.”
And now his sister was joining in the fun. Great.
“See.”
“You're the one who lost to me 12-3 so… I don’t know what to tell you.”
Somehow the lunch had turned from a reunion with his best friend to his best friend and sister ganging up on him. In hindsight, it wasn’t his brightest idea telling Adriana their plans. She loves to stick her nose where it doesn’t belong and this particular time it was this lunch. Lunch that was supposed to be just Chris, Buck and him.
- - - - - - - -
Buck’s third day of his visit starts off as uneventful as the two before.
He wakes up, makes breakfast for Chris, himself and Eddie, gets ready for the day and sits around waiting for Eddie to finish getting ready. So it takes him a little bit longer to get ready, sue him.
However, today is different. Today they are all spending the day with Eddie’s parents and the wider Diaz family.
Eddie was very apprehensive to go, mostly because he didn’t want to subject Buck to his parents. His sisters were mostly ok and Tia Pepa and Abuela, well Buck already knew them and they liked him, so that was alright. It was his parents that worried him.
They’ve always been judgemental people, unapproving of anything and anyone. He knew they didn’t particularly like Buck, he didn’t know why, they didn’t even know him, but from what he could tell they weren’t all that fond of him.
Eddie didn’t know if it was because a “stranger” was more involved in Chris’ life than they were or because he was more important in Chris’ life than them but he was certain it was built out of jealousy.
Jealousy, that he always knew his parents had inside of them, jealousy, that he knew he had inside of himself. Jealousy, that peaked when it came to Christopher. His parents, Chris’ whole life, have been insistent that Chris needs them, and then Eddie took him away and they resented him for it, so they took him the first opportunity they had. They took Chris away from him. All because they were jealous.
And now he was introducing, one of the many reasons they were jealous, to them. He knew it wasn’t going to end well and he was unprepared for the chaos he thought, no, knew would ensue.
“So what is it that we’re celebrating?”
“”It’s a pre-Easter thing that my parents have been throwing since I was a kid, it’s kinda full on but now that we’re older it’s less full on. But just know, you’ve been warned.”
Eddie dreaded the pre-Easter festivities every year. He liked Easter itself but everything else was just unnecessarily annoying and useless.
“I appreciate the warning but it can’t possibly be that bad.”
Eddie smiles and shakes his head knowing Buck has no clue what’s about to come his way.
They pull up to the Diaz parents house and there are cars everywhere.
They are instantly greeted with a large amount of noise and chaos the second they enter the house.
“Still sure it’s not that bad?”
“So it’s a little loud and there's a ton of people here, that doesn’t make it bad.”
They are quickly interrupted by Sophia, who was not in the best of moods. “Nice of you turn up, mom was about to go insane.”
“Is that really anything new?”
“I guess not.”
Her attention turns from Eddie to Buck, which he is now realising has never met Sophia before.
“And you are?”
“I’m Buck.”
“Oh! You’re Buck?”
“Ah, yeah.” A small smile appears on his face, this time he’s less caught off guard that someone in Eddie’s family knows who he is.
“Oh, I had no idea, Adriana didn’t mention you were so-” She stops talking and instead makes gestures with her hands.
Eddie gives her glare, hoping to convey to her to cut it out, that is his friend.
Eddie grabs Buck and drags him through the house–away from his sister–to his parents. They’ve met before, more than once but their conversations have never lasted more than five minutes, and each one has been rudimentary at most. His parents don’t want to know Buck and he would rather Buck did not get to know his parents.
He didn’t need Buck to be subjected to their negativity and demoralising personalities. He also knew they’d say something about Chris, or even himself that would cause Buck to go off a cliff. He didn’t want to risk it, he couldn’t. He needed to know that Buck would always be there by his side, he couldn’t risk his parents taking that away, just like they’ve taken so much else.
“Edmundo, I thought you were going to be here an hour ago.”
She bombards him and then Chris before turning her attention towards Buck.
“Buck, good to see you again,” she says, her teeth gritted. She gives him a hug and if Eddie didn’t know any better, he’d think she had a gun held to her head.
“Mrs Diaz, hi, thanks for having me.”
“Well, I didn’t have much of a choice did I?” She forces a laugh out and gives Eddie a look, one that he knows all too well. She isn’t happy he brought Buck, but she wanted Chris to come, Eddie had forced her hand a few days prior and she was still salty about it.
The rest of the day went pretty similarly to this, his mother being passive aggressive towards Buck and himself, acting like Chris is her own and that she has the perfect family. Eddie was sure this party was more about presenting herself as some perfect mother than actually celebrating Easter–which was pretty in line for her.
And then there was her reaction when she saw Buck speaking with Tia Pepa and abuela. She had a visceral reaction seeing them joking and having fun, turns out she didn’t realise Buck was that ingrained into Eddie’s life. He thought she knew, clearly not.
“Eddie, what is Buck doing talking to your abuela?”
“Uh, he-what do you mean?”
Eddie was pretty perplexed by her surprise that Buck was talking to his family. They were at a Diaz family gathering after all, it’s not like he had much of a choice. It would've been weirder if he was just sitting in a corner alone.
“Why is he speaking to your abuela?”
“Because he can?”
“Edmundo.”
He couldn’t understand what her problem was, maybe it was because abuela actually liked Buck? Not that she didn’t like his mom but she definitely preferred Buck.
“They’re probably just catching up, or Buck is telling her about the time he tried to make her tamales-it did not go well.”
Did not go well was an understatement–it was a disaster, Buck has since vowed to never go near them again. It was that bad.
“She gave Buck her tamale recipe? She won’t even give it to me.”
This was when Eddie realised he’d said too much. His abuela had told him specifically, to not tell his mom that she gave the recipe to Buck, because she would flip out.
“You know, this fruit punch is really good, mom.” He attempts to change the topic but knows it’s no use, he’s unleashed a demon. Maybe demon was a bit dramatic, just a bit though.
She rolls her eyes and scoffs before walking off.
- - - - - - - -
It was Buck’s fifth and second last day in El Paso when Eddie, finally, got to spend time with just him.
He liked hanging out with Buck and Chris, but he’d missed his Buck time.
Monday’s meant after school Chess Club and Chris’ dinners with just his grandparents. Eddie didn’t want to say it, but he was grateful that it was. Eddie had spent the day with Buck while Chris was at school and for just a moment, everything went back to how it used to be, how he liked it.
He wouldn’t say it to Buck, but he missed what they had–being able to look at each other and know exactly what the other is thinking, not having to be alone in a big house, or making the mundane things that Eddie hates to do fun. They’d gone to gym, then been grocery shopping and everything in his life felt right again.
Except it wasn’t. Because this wasn’t his life, not permanently at least. Buck was only here for a week then he was going back home. LA, was the other thing, El Paso wasn’t home, not anymore, not that it ever really was. He didn’t get to go to work and spend time with his team, his family. Instead he was stuck with strangers, strangers that could never replace what he had at the 118. Strangers that couldn’t replace Buck.
“Triple Butter, Sea Salt or Sweet and Salty?”
Buck had thought it was a travesty Eddie didn’t have any microwavable popcorn in his house “just in case, because you never know when you’re going to need popcorn, Eddie.” Eddie thought it was ridiculous but Chris, as always, backed him up. It was the first thing on the list when they went grocery shopping and because Buck is incapable of being normal he just had to buy three different flavours.
“Whatever you want,” Eddie really did not care about popcorn flavours. He didn’t really care about popcorn either, but Buck had insisted–“it’s not a proper movie night without popcorn.”
“What are we watching?”
“Um, I don’t know.”
“Well, depending on what we watch will depend on what flavour popcorn I make.”
Eddie looks up from his phone to give Buck a questionable look, he shouldn’t have been surprised yet he was. Of course Buck picked his popcorn flavour based on the movie he was watching.
“What do you want to watch Buck?”
“Well, I was thinking that we could watch 10 Things I Hate About You, I haven’t watched it in forever.”
A rom-com? Really?
“You’ve watched 10 Things I Hate About You?” Again it was one of those things that really shouldn’t have surprised Eddie, yet it did.
“Yes.” He says it like it would be insane if he hadn’t seen the movie before.
“More than once?”
“Yes.”
And at this point Eddie really isn’t surprised any more because of course he’s watched it multiple times.
“Of course you have.”
Bucks eyes widen as he asks a question, “have you never watched it?”
“No”
“What? You’ve never watched it before?”
And suddenly the fact that Eddie has never watched 10 Things I Hate About You–because why would he have–is the worst thing in the world.
“No.”
“Ok. That’s it. You’re watching it.”
“Sure.” Eddie’s not bothered to fight him so he just accepts his fate instead.
“I’ll do the popcorn,” he says with a bright smile as he walks back into the kitchen and Eddie can’t help but smile himself.
He never figured himself a rom-com kinda guy, but this could be fun.
Buck returns with sweet and salty popcorn “because a rom-com is two genres and sweet and salty is two flavours, it’s common sense, Eddie.”
The movie begins with Buck and Eddie sitting side by side on his new couch, one that is significantly less comfortable than his old one, and ends with Buck asleep on his shoulder, a blanket on top of them and the dim lighting makes it all barely visible.
The mood was somber and it was as quiet as it ever had been in the Diaz house. Eddie didn’t get many moments alone with Buck when he wasn’t talking let alone when he was peaceful, without a worry in the world.
He didn’t say it often, or ever really, but he really did admire the man next to him, he’d never been able to find the words to tell him but in this moment he didn’t need words, Buck was here to see him , to be with him , by his side.
The dim light makes his curls disappear into the rest of his hair and all Eddie can think about is how he could live in this moment forever. Just Buck and him.
For once he was grateful to have mendling parents, he wouldn’t have gotten this time with Buck otherwise.
He’s so lost in the moment he doesn’t hear the door open, or his parents and Chris walk in, not until he hears his name and he knows he’s been caught–by his parents–staring at Buck.
“Mom, dad, I-I didn’t know you’d be home so soon.”
“Oh, yeah I forgot to text, did we…”
Eddie moves Buck’s head so that when he gets up he won’t fall onto the couch cushion. He goes over to Chris and gives him a big hug before sending him off to get ready for bed.
“We skipped dessert tonight, Chris wasn’t feeling great.”
“Oh, well I’ll go check on him then.”
His mother looks him in the eyes, takes a deep breath and goes to say something before stopping herself, she just looks at Buck asleep on the couch before returning her eyes back to Eddie and says goodnight.
- - - - - - - -
“Chris, if you want to say goodbye to Buck, you’ve got to get out of bed now.” He has to shout from the kitchen to Chris’ room.
Buck had booked the early morning flight not realising that meant Eddie would have to wake Chris up even earlier than he normally would.
“Ugh, coming.”
Chris wasn’t coming with Eddie to drop Buck off at the airport, he wanted to, but Eddie wouldn’t let him miss school–again.
Chris and Buck said their goodbyes, though Chris made Buck promise to visit again soon and Buck raised him by saying that he should visit LA. Eddie had rolled his eyes at that comment but deep down he wanted to, so immensely badly. He missed everything about that place. He just wanted to go back home.
The ride to the airport was solemn. Neither wanted to nor knew what to say to the other. Eddie knew this wouldn’t be the last time he’d see his best friend, or that he’d magically disappear out of his life but being apart… It was a thought he didn’t like.
He didn’t want to say goodbye–not again. But Buck couldn’t stay, he had to go home. Home. How Eddie wishes he could too. He knows he can’t. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
Buck knows it as well, how much he misses LA, how he so deeply wishes he could go back but can’t. Buck says nothing. They know how this works. They understand and know each other to an unbelievable level, one where words do not need to be spoken, or looks to be exchanged. One where just being by each other's side gives them all the answers and vulnerability in the world.
It’s perfect. And it’s all they ever need.
The goodbye is painful. More so than the last time. He’s not sure why, but that feeling of awkwardness and uneasiness he had when he first saw Buck again returns as he says goodbye. And that feeling of completeness he’s had since he saw Buck goes away and he’s back to feeling broken, alone.
The car ride back “home” is a long and silent one. One Eddie doesn’t particularly enjoy, but why would he? His best friend is going back home, back to their life and he’s stuck in a town he’s never really liked, with parents that he’s never really gotten along with. It sucks.
“Ah yeah, I dropped him off at the airport this morning.”
He grabs a glass out of the cupboard and notices his sisters give each other a look out the corner of his eyes. They’d been doing it a lot of the past week–giving each other a look.
“Chris must have been upset?” Sophia asks him quietly, like it was meant to have a double meaning.
“Uh, yeah I think so.” In all honesty, he’d been so focused on his own feelings and how he felt about Buck leaving that it didn’t occur to him to see how his son felt about it. He was sure he’d miss Buck, probably not to the same extent Eddie would, but he’d miss him nonetheless.
“What about you?”
“Me?”
“Yeah… How do you feel about Buck going back to LA?”
Eddie thought it was a silly question, of course Buck was going back to LA, what else is there to do?
“Well… He lives there, so…”
“That’s not what she asked Eddie. How do you feel?”
“I don’t know, it’s weird, I guess.”
Adriana and Sophia look at each other again, this time there's more to it. He can’t quite tell what it is, but there is definitely something they’re not telling him. The side-eyes are more than suspicious on their own, let alone when both of his sisters are doing it multiple times in a two minute conversation.
“What?” Eddie's had enough of the looks and just wants to know what’s going on.
Both his sisters glance at each other before responding with a high pitched “nothing.” And now it’s his turn to give them a look, this one full of annoyance.
“It must be hard being away from Buck and not getting to see him often?”
“Well yeah… he’s my best friend.”
The annoyance shifted from his sisters to his mom, Buck is his best friend of course he’s going to miss him, why bother even asking?
“Yes, best friend… You-Ed-Um… Eddie, if- Ramon help me out here.”
“What your mother is trying to say is-”
“If you and Buck are dating that is, well, that is good.” She was really trying to put a smile on her face but Eddie had been so caught off guard by the word dating that he didn’t bother to pay much attention to it.
“What?”
“We are happy for you and despite what you think, we do want what is best for you and if that is Buck then-”
“Wait, you think Buck and I are dating?”
“Well, yes?”
“What?” He was having a hard time wrapping his head around this idea.
“Are you not?”
“No.” It came out more like a shout than a calm statement but how was he supposed to remain calm when this entire time his parents thought he was dating his best friend.
“‘Huh?”
He looks at Adriana, “not you too.”
“But you are in love with him?” It was a question but the way she said it made it sound more like a statement. A statement–even question–he never thought he’d hear, ever.
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing or what his family thought. Him and Buck? That would be ridiculous. Like one of the most ridiculous things in the world because Buck and him? No way. Definitely not.
“Um, no?”
“You’re telling me that you’re not in love with Buck?” For whatever reason his sister seemed just as confused as he was. He couldn’t understand how she–and the rest of his family–could be under the impression that Buck was more than just his best friend.
“What-no, I am not in love with Buck. I never have been.”
“Wait, you’re not in love with or dating Buck?”
“No!” He can’t even begin to comprehend where they may have gotten this idea from. There were friends that blurred the line between friendship and relationship but Buck and him were not one. If there was one thing he learnt from 10 Things I Hate About You it was friends to lovers is a very common trope in TV shows and movies–and it’s also Bucks favourite. But they were far from it. They were friends, the best kind, nothing more, nothing less, it never had been and never would be. It just was. And that was good enough for Eddie.
“Did you seriously all think that?”
He hears a chorus of “yeahs” and “yeses” in response.
“It’s kind of really obvious Eds.”
“Yeah..”
“I spent five minutes with the two of you and you could not take your eyes off of him. Then I spent two hours with him and Chris at Adventure Zone and I think we spent maybe a total of ten minutes without your name coming up. I’m sorry but there is no way you are not in love with each other.”
Oh.
Eddie doesn’t know what to make of anything really.
His parents think he’s in a relationship with Buck. His sisters think he’s in love with Buck. Actually, they’re insistent he’s in love with Buck. Which to clear up any confusion, he’s not. That would be the most insane thing in the world. Him and Buck? It could make him laugh, it's so absurd.
“That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard, for starters we are friends, best friends, yes I speak to him on a daily basis but I speak to Bobby and Hen and Chimney all the time as well. I spend just as much time with them as I do with Buck. Plus, he can be a very annoying person, you’ve never met Clipboard Buck but he is not well liked, he also has annual software updates and completely changes his personality, he also pesters me all the time and I put up with it because he’s my friend but I would never date anyone like that. And, when I was having panic attacks he wouldn’t stop bringing them up until I told him what was wrong. And most importantly, I, I am straight.”
The last sentence is what garners the most attention from his sisters and they share another look, this one is more of a “he can’t be serious” look.
“You do know most people who say that, or use it as their defence normally aren't, right?”
“But what about the other night when we dropped Christopher home? You two seemed very… cosy.”
It seems as though his list has only made them less convinced rather than more.
He’d never considered Buck as anything more than a friend, because why would he? They were friends. And look he wasn’t exactly the best at reading signs, he needed someone to spell it out for him and even then he wasn’t necessarily going to get it. But, there had never been any signs that they were anything more than friends. Because again, they were friends.
Buck–love–together–boyfriend. They were the four words going through his head on a constant cycle.
He didn’t know a lot about relationships, he’d been in three–if he doesn’t count the Kim situation, which he doesn’t–all of which went pretty badly. His relationship with Shannon was over before it ever really started–both times–and Marisol was fine until he found out she was almost a nun and then Kim… And then with Ana she was nice, perfect, exactly what Eddie was looking for except she wasn’t-
Oh.
Buck. She wasn’t Buck.
How could he have been this blind? It was standing right in front of him the whole time, he was just too naive to see it.
Oh.
The warm feeling he gets when he sees Buck’s name pop up on his phone, or the sadness that comes in waves when it doesn’t, how the best part of his days are seeing or talking to Buck and without it he feels incomplete. Or how, there was no one else Eddie was more scared to tell he was moving to El Paso to than Buck, or the time his life fell apart and the only one who was always there was Buck, the only one who could make him smile and happy one hundred percent of the time.
And there were a million other things that Eddie couldn’t yet think of because they had so much history. From the first day they met to today, so much had happened between them and yet there was no one Eddie would rather have in his life than Buck.
Oh.
They were dating, even if they didn’t know it. It wasn’t the first time they’d been mistaken for a couple but it was the first time people who actually knew one of them thought it was the case. And if even his parents could see it, then it had to be there, right? Even for Buck.
The freakout started to set in the more he realised he was in love with Buck.
“Oh my god, I'm in love with Buck.”
The words come out but they sound like a foreign language to Eddie, the shock still yet to set in.
The rest of his family look at him as though him loving Buck was the most obvious thing in the world, and who knows maybe he’ll look back on it and it will be.
“I think you should tell him,” Adriana shrugs her shoulders, “I mean it’s clear that you're both in love with each other, I don’t see the harm.”
“I am not telling Buck that I’m in love with him.”
“Oh why not Eddie? You guys are basically dating as it is–I can make a list of reasons for you if you want.”
“Adriana, seriously.”
“Edmundo, she’s not wrong. We may not know much about Buck, but it is very obvious he makes you happy and you must make him happy otherwise he wouldn’t have come to visit.”
“Mom I-”
“I know it is scary, I was scared when I first told your father I loved him but, it was the best thing I ever did.” She fondly looks over at his father and he recognises it, it’s the same look he gives Buck.
“How about, I text him, put out feelers, see how he feels?”
Adriana grabs her phone and before he can think Eddie finds himself on top of his sister trying, but ultimately failing, to take the phone out of her hands.
“Adriana, don’t you dare.” He didn’t often use a stern tone with his sister, or anyone really beside his parents, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
“Don’t be a baby, just tell him.”
“I don’t know. I’ll see.” He said it to satisfy them and not because he ever has any intention of telling Buck.
“All we want is for you to be happy, Edmundo and if that is what will make you happy, then you should go for it.”
His dad wasn’t one to give advice or contribute to a meaningful conversation or make sure that Eddie felt loved, this was a new side to him, one that Eddie liked considerably more than the old one. It didn’t make up for the years of torment or the years of feeling like he wasn’t good enough, but it was a start. Same with his mom. They actually cared. He’d never felt that from them before.
“Thanks dad, I’ll uh, I’ll think about it.”
- - - - - - - -
It’s been three months since that fateful day where Eddie realised he was in love with Buck and his life couldn’t be going better. He and Chris were finally moving back to LA, back home, to the place he missed oh so much.
And Buck. So, so much had changed with Buck. It had taken him a while to finally find the courage to tell Buck but he also couldn’t just tell Buck. Not over the phone or over messages, it had to be something more .
He had told Chris within two weeks of his realisation and Chris had convinced him to go to LA and tell Buck. Despite his many hesitations he eventually gave in, once Chris had said he wanted to go back to LA.
One month later, Eddie found himself on a plane going to tell Buck how he felt–and look for a house, but that was secondary to the whole in love with Buck thing.
The moment between them had been magical, a feeling filled Eddie that he never wanted to forget, it was perfect. Buck was perfect.
As it turned out Adriana had done exactly what Eddie asked her not to do and forced Buck to confront his feelings, just as she did for Eddie.
He was mad but he was also grateful for his younger sister, without her he wouldn’t have Buck all to himself.
“If you were going to be moving back so soon, why did you unpack everything?”
“I did not know I’d be moving back so soon. If I did I wouldn’t have unpacked everything now would I?”
Buck just smirked at the sassiness in Eddie’s voice.
“Everyone is gonna be so happy that you’re back. And Chris as well.”
“Yeah, well, I’m happy that I’ll be back. El Paso’s been nice but it’s not LA, it’s not home. It doesn’t have a lot of things… It doesn’t have you.”
“Aww, you don’t want to live without me.”
“Shut up.”
Buck leans down from where he is and places a small kiss onto Eddie’s lips, something that has been sorely lacking in their relationship so far–thank you long distance for that.
“I’m glad to see that you two finally figured things out.”
“Thanks mom.” He says as he looks at Buck, a big smile on his face and he can confidently say he’s never been happier than he is right now.