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Fandom: Kimi to Boku
( Gen. In which Kaname counts his losses. )
5 things that happened to Kaname, in his Pokemon journey.
1.
“Are you okay,” said Shun, even as Chizuru and Mary pawed at the screen and made shrieking noises at Kaname who was currently stuck in a pit of ekans because he had the worst luck in the world. Sucker.
“An ekans is climbing up my leg,” said Kaname, with only some mild hysteria, “what do you think.”
“Oh,” said Yuuki, through the Xtransciever, “kinky,”
“You’re not helping,” said Kaname. “Oh my god, get it off get it off get it off.”
Yuuta sighed, the only voice of reason. “We’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
2.
“Who blacks out in victory road,” said Yuuki.
“I can feel your judgment from miles away,” said Kaname, “and I’d like ask you to shut the fuck up and just lend me money.”
“Victory road, though,” Yuuki snorted.
“I’m never healing you for free ever again,” said Kaname.
3.
“So I heard a boy in shorts is stalking you now,” said Chizuru, conversationally.
Kaname hung up.
4.
You’d think Psyduck would be a hundred times more intelligent after evolving. You’d think he’d grow a brain.
“Why do you keep coming back even after I release you,” said Kaname, to his Golduck stuck in a fence.
Golduck moaned piteously at him, and squawked.
5.
“When I become champion,” Kaname announced, “I will kick your ass so hard you’ll be crying all the way to Kanto.”
“Get a badge first, then,” said Yuuki, already bored of the conversation. “Then maybe we can talk.”
“Someday,” Kaname promised, and put his nurse’s cap back on.
Fandom: Kuroko no Basket
( Gen. In which they're really just boys. )
"So remember when coach said nothing that happens today should be in our permanent records and how we should just laugh at pranks instead of freak out like Midorima does all the time," said Aomine, all in one breath.
Akashi set his clipboard down and leveled a look at all of his shame-faced, toilet-paper-clad teammates with egg yolks and what looked like the remnants of Midorima's ceramic elephant trailing in their wake. It was the kind of look that promised misery and retribution in the form of many, many laps and weights that would make you prefer death and agonize over why, exactly, anybody ever listened to Kise and his stupid ideas about bullying Midorima into obedience. "Yes?"
Aomine opened his mouth. He closed it. Then he opened it again and pushed Kuroko forward.
"Tetsu totally did it," said Aomine, and ran away.
( Akashi/Kuroko. In which Kuroko's tastes in literature are discussed. )
"Why is Akashi-kun cooped up in the locker room muttering to himself?" Momoi asked, picking up after Aomine's unhealthy trail of sweatpants, his clunky gym bag, and chips courtesy of Murasakibara.
"He asked to borrow Kurokocchi's book," said Kise, sympathetically. "It didn't end well."
"I'll say," said Aomine. "I don't think he ever expected Tetsu to read tentacle porn in the middle of practice. See, this is why we're friends."
"It was for research," said Kuroko, at Momoi's blanch. "I was reading up on Japanese folklore."
"No one reads The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife for its prose," said Aomine, "so your argument is so invalid I think I hear Midorima crying out of his ass."
"It's nothing but filth," said Midorima, tightly. "All of you should be ashamed at yourselves for scanning those pictures and emailing them to everyone."
"Does that mean you looked at it too," said Murasakibara.
"Yes," said Kise, even as Midorima let out a horrified "no."
"But anyway," said Aomine, "I don't really think Akashi's upset about the porn more than he is about not being able to grow a few appendages at will." Aomine knew what he was talking about. He saw the way Akashi looked at Kuroko and called it. Discovering potential, his ass.
"I'm a boy, not a pervert," said Kuroko, defensively.
"Keep telling yourself that," said Aomine.