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The scene seems to unfold in slow motion, but it all happens so fast that Saint is unable to do anything.
It goes by in flashes, almost. Jeng getting up from the floor, crooked and beaten yet definitely alive. The melodic shing of the knife, the glint of its blade under the fluorescent lighting. Shin screaming his name, pushing Saint away, using his body as a shield.
The sound of a sharp object tearing its way through flesh, nauseating and inhuman.
Shin gasps as he falls to the ground, arms tangled around Saint’s neck, and Saint stumbles over him as he tries to land them both safely. He busts his knees on the hard concrete before Shin can hit his head and that’s all that matters.
“Shin,” he hears himself call. “Shin, Shin!” It sounds desperate, even through the static of his thoughts, even through the screams of the police as they tackle Mr. Sung down.
Chadjen is also there, Saint doesn’t know why or how or since when, but he is. He runs his hands through Shin’s hair in a soothing manner, ever so careful, trying his best to stifle his sobs.
“Shin…” Chadjen whispers, an attempt to say something else, but his voice fails him at the end and he falls silent.
God, Saint needs to be strong.
He needs to be strong, both for Shin and Chadjen, or the three of them won’t be getting out of here in one piece.
They’re still half-frozen by shock when Shin’s head first lolls to the side. Saint feels the pace of his heartbeat pick up, hammering furiously along his veins, his stomach a void pit of anxiety as he reaches one hand to hold Shin straight by the cheek, tapping him lightly.
The other hand is on Shin’s lower back, pressed firmly against the wound. It’s begun to spill under them, stretching out in waves of dark, heavy crimson.
The metallic stench of blood is unbearable.
“Shin, hang in there,” he begs, not knowing what else to do. “Stay with me. Please.”
Shin stares up at him, the grayish brown of his big, beautiful eyes eclipsed by raw panic and rapid blinking. He manages to look absolutely ethereal even while on the brink of death, and it shatters Saint’s heart in a million pieces.
Realization seems to settle in, almost as if Shin had read his mind, and the boy asks, struggling through labored breaths, “Am I… am I dying…?”
He sounds so scared that Chadjen fully breaks down crying, which only serves to scare him further. Shin starts hyperventilating.
“You’re not,” Saint tells him. He’s biting the inside of his cheek so hard he’ll probably draw blood. “You’re not, Shin—”
“I’m dying,” Shin says again, but it’s not a question anymore. “Saint… I’m— I’m going to die… I’m—” His hands fist into the collar of Saint’s uniform jacket, fighting for dear life. The grip is weak. “I don’t wanna die, Saint… I don’t— I can’t die now—”
Tears begin to fall down his face, catching the light in a delicate gleam as he pleads for his life in Saint’s arms. He’s beautiful and he’s also dying, bleeding out onto the dirty floors of the abandoned warehouse, and this whole situation becomes too real of a nightmare.
Shin keeps on rambling, “I haven’t— I need… to see Chadjen off… to England… I… ah, I promised— We were supposed to… And I— Shit, Saint,” He pauses, choking on his words, “I haven’t— I haven’t told you... that I love you yet—”
Suddenly, everything seems to halt.
“What?” Saint mumbles dumbly.
“I love you.” Shin rushes the words out, like it’s the last chance he’ll have at saying them. “I love you, Saint… I— I wanted to— Ah… I wanted… to tell you…”
Shin’s head falls limp again, eyes glassy and slowly losing their color, and the boy doesn’t utter another word. Between Saint’s fingers, the skin feels cold to the touch. His face looks sickly pale.
Chadjen gasps, hands clasped over his mouth in a horrified expression.
And Saint, who had managed to hold himself strong until now, buried under Shin and his blood and the weight of his own guilt, collapses finally and irrevocably into a painful cry.
“The ambulance is on its way,” A voice announces after what seems like ages, and a comforting hand falls over his shoulder. It’s Nate’s. He thinks.
Shin is gone again.
And this time, Saint won’t be able to forgive himself.