Chapter Text
Contrary to popular opinion, and despite the fact that he’s touchy-feely in every other fuckin’ way, Endo actually doesn’t kiss Haruka all that much.
The first time they kissed—hell, it was Haruka’s first kiss—was when the two of them got together; he honestly should’ve expected it, probably, but he didn’t know shit about damn when it came to romance (even now). So when Endo’s lips met his and Haruka finally realized he was even doing it, and once he jumped several feet in the air and knocked into his then-new-boyfriend’s chin, Haruka figured there wouldn’t be any more kisses coming. He especially figured that when the yelling and the demand of “Don’t you ever do that shit without askin’ again, you idiot!!!”, with a significant amount of stammering and refusing to meet eyes with him for a week afterward followed right after. Who the hell would go askin’ for that kinda crap again?
(Knowing Endo, Haruka really should’ve expected that part. Again, though, not knowing a damn thing about romance!)
Endo still lays on’im and grabs him all over whenever he damn wants, because Haruka has considered that a lost fuckin’ cause and has even come to be fond of it at times (though he refuses to say anything beyond the fact that he tolerates it), but he’s only asked for kisses about four or five times since, despite being together for months by this point. He hasn’t quite gone back to kissin’ Haruka on the lips, either; the last one came close, right on the edge of his mouth, but the others were tossed up between his cheeks or the top of his head, and once even along his shoulder blade when Endo was helpin’im patch up a particularly nasty injury. It hasn’t exactly left him upset, considering Haruka had (shockingly) agreed to every single one, but it’s left him feeling a little...underwhelmed.
No, underwhelmed might not be the word—he feels put out. After all, it’s not that he said he never wants to be kissed, he just wanted to be asked beforehand. Haruka wants to be able to prepare himself, mind and body, to experience another person’s touch like that, so that the same thing that happened during their first kiss wouldn’t happen again. And it’s obvious it isn’t a case of Endo not wanting to kiss him, since he’s willing to respect all that (which always makes Haruka’s cheeks burn to realize, that someone would even listen to his wants and boundaries at all enough to respect them; to realize that that person is Endo fucking Yamato, because boyfriend or otherwise, he’s still who he is), so what the hell gives!?
It’s something Haruka is debating with himself in this very moment: Nowadays, Endo and him are hanging out at the latter’s apartment more than they aren’t, but eeeevery so often, Endo will relent to going over to his. Haruka has a suspicion Endo might think he doesn’t like Takiishi, who also lives in the place, and feels his own type’a way over his most beloved people not getting along, but...there’s not a whole lot to do about it. Haruka just never knows what to say to Takiishi. The grudge against them both for Noroshi and Furin even fighting is long-gone, after all, so it isn’t like there’s a ton of hard feelings; the guy’s just a brand of quiet and observational that Haruka has no clue how to interact with, so there’s hardly any interaction between them beyond a nod of acknowledgement.
(He wonders, sometimes, if he should make more of an effort. But Takiishi doesn’t seem entirely interested, and it’s not like he wants to piss Endo off or hurt him in the case he does something wrong...)
At any rate, everything aside; tonight, Endo relented on crashing at his place a little easier because Takiishi was out doing gods know what (which is odd, because Haruka assumed Endo would go with him, if only because he normally handled most of the crap Takiishi went and did), so they’d have the place to themselves. It wasn’t all that much different from when they spent time at his apartment, really—the only differences were an operational kitchen and a tv in every room, which Endo insists on making Haruka watch all the time—but it was still special because they were doing it at his place and not Haruka’s own. Not that he’d admit that, either, though, or else this bastard’s stupid-big ego...
To Haruka’s right, there’s a shift, and then a sudden cool expanse of air that takes up the space that was, until just then, occupied by a tattooed arm; it makes Haruka shiver a little, though it also makes him regret getting lost in his thoughts, ‘cause like an idiot, he’s up thinking in the middle of the night instead of sleeping. Though it’s not all that weird in the first place, given that Haruka’s sleep schedule is abysmal to begin with (waking up every hour, taking forever to get to bed at all; the works), but Endo normally takes awhile to get to sleep himself, and the fact that his eyes are closed when a mismatched pair looks up at his face is a little surprising.
Must’a dozed off while I wasn’t payin’ attention, Haruka thinks, but it’s also probably because of the movie quietly playing in the background. He’s got half a mind to turn it off, but Endo has a harder time sleeping without some noise, so there’s not much of a point; he sighs right then, in his sleep, too, which makes everything else in the world not have much of a point, either.
...in fact, it’s a little—big, to think about, if Haruka thinks about it at all. The first time they met, the asshole was running his mouth about how Haruka didn’t fit in with Furin, and how they were holding him down; and then, during their own fight (the fight Endo started just for Takiishi’s sake, which doesn’t make Haruka jealous so much as it does pissed off, because they really went through all of that for the sake of one guy?), Endo switched tactics and said Haruka was the one tainting the school, that he didn’t belong there because he was a burden on them, that they could never be good so long as he was there. They’ve hashed all those things out by now—a long story not worth thinking about now or else he’ll upset himself all over again because of just how long it took to get everything sorted, since an explanation (and a following apology) wasn’t all that came outta the conversation—and said what needed to be said about it to the point that Haruka doesn’t hold the words against’im anymore, but... it’s wild to think about how they went from beating each other’s asses to dating. To being able to hang out, to becoming their own version of friends; to even be able to sleep beside each other and sleep in each other’s beds...
I never did think things would turn out like this. Haruka muses silently. Who ever thinks about datin’ someone who used to be their own damn worst enemy?
But I’m gettin’ lost in thought again.
Haruka sits up, then, a frown pulling his lips down; the good thing about Endo’s place is that his bed actually fits them both with extra space to spare, but the bad thing about that is it means that, when Endo moves, there’s space. Nobody can be clingy forever when they’re asleep, and the tall bastard never seems able to completely be still, so it normally means that when they sleep here, Haruka wakes up cold (and he’s even always up first) because Endo’s arms aren’t around’im.
(First he hardly gets any kisses, and now his own boyfriend doesn’t even hold him all damn night...)
There’s a lot to be said about bein’ able to look at the guy, though. When he’s awake, Endo goes through a billion different emotions and expressions throughout the day, so the only time Haruka really sees him looking any kinda peaceful is when he’s finally out for the count. It makes him take a page outta his book; makes Haruka reach out and press a hand, as gentle and slowly as he can, to Endo’s closest cheek. Cupping it is the name for the action, his mind belatedly supplies, but Haruka’s more than content to just hold him without thinking.
...for all that Endo has kissed him, Haruka hasn’t kissed him, yet, either.
Of course, just the thought makes his face burn, but it also makes something in him pull, in a weird way. It makes him think, again, about how he never said he didn’t want kisses entirely—just that he wanted to be asked about getting one.
Endo, though, doesn’t have that same boundary—there’s been plenty of instances where he’s told Haruka that he can do whatever he wants with’im, to’im, whatever, at any time he feels, and a few of them happened after Endo had given him a kiss to begin with. And, now that he thinks about it, maybe that was a sign all along that he was willing to respect Haruka’s own wishes, too, beyond just listening to his demand. This ‘not knowing shit about romance’ thing is about to get on my nerves...!
There’s a twitch under his hand that makes Haruka jump a little, but when it doesn’t come again, he takes his own turn to sigh. He’s bein’ stupid; he could be doing a million and one things better than getting in his own head if he just let himself stop thinking! He wonders, later, if that’s what possesses him to start leaning down—to lean over Endo, slow as if it’s deliberate but still fast enough to say it isn’t, and starts to purse his own lips, getting closer and closer to—
—much more forcibly than he means (though still, apparently, gentle enough that Endo doesn’t do much but sigh out a little again), Haruka manages to redirect himself from meeting Endo’s lips to meeting the infinity tattoo on his throat, kissing it right where the two points meet over his Adam’s Apple. He doesn’t stay for very long, doesn’t keep himself pressed up against his boyfriend’s skin for more than a few seconds tops, but even when he pulls away, Haruka feels like his whole body is on fire.
But I did it. A part of him is proud, while another part is as pleased as it is still yearning. He and Endo have come a long way, have a long road ahead of them; shouldn’t he do more than just kiss at his neck? Shouldn’t he let Endo do more?
...thoughts for the morning, maybe. As the unexpected adrenaline (When the hell’d all that come up?) dies down, exhaustion seems to cuddle up right in its place, and for once in his life, Haruka has a hard time fighting it. A little more expectedly than that, though, is a small burst of something petty; he was bitchin’ to himself, just a bit ago, about Endo not holding him all night, but there’s surely nothing wrong with Haruka just picking Endo’s arm up, replacing its occupancy with his body, and setting his arm back down over him, right? As long as Endo doesn’t wake up, he isn’t really disturbing him, is he?
You weirdo. Haruka muses as his eyes fall shut, face pressed into Endo’s chest; the rise and fall of it doesn’t both him one bit. I’m always doin’ weird shit because’a you, now.
(Of course, Haruka wouldn’t really have it any other way; they’re together, after all. And even with his boundaries...well, sometimes he wants to challenge them. Isn’t it okay if he does it willingly?)
It’s all stuff to worry about later; for now, Haruka just curls up against Endo’s frame and lets the exhaustion take him.
He can deal with himself when morning comes.
It takes every fiber of Yamato’s being to wait until Sakura is asleep, well and truly asleep, before he finally moves; he forces himself to go slow and gentle, of course, because he knows if he wakes’im up Sakura will never get back to sleep (and that’ll just make him angry, which—while Yamato loves riling him up—wouldn’t be fair to him) but he manages to wrap his boy up in a full embrace and press a kiss to his forehead without so much as making him grumble (well, not too much).
I love you, I love you, I love you; Yamato wants to yell it to the skies, wants to announce it for the entire world to hear, but he settles for saying it with the kisses he presses along his boyfriend’s face instead; Sakura hates being kissed without being asked first, but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. He doesn’t even bring their lips close together, either, so he still isn’t doing the thing he seemed to be bothered by most! He’s still respecting some part of the request, so nobody can get all outta sorts.
Sure never expected Sakura to just come out and kiss me, though!!
Honestly, Yamato never expected Sakura to wanna kiss at all—he’d just been so overcome with emotion that day they got together that he didn’t even think about it when he did it. Of course, obeying the boundary set because of that careless moment was just as easy as following through with it, because contrary to what some may think, he isn’t that forceful in a relationship (he’ll be the first to admit he’s done some shit, but he ain’t ever done something like that!), but in a moment like this... Not even just because Sakura was asleep, but couldn’t he press his luck this once? When Sakura had seemingly so challenged himself, couldn’t Yamato help him along?
...actually, maybe he should have woken him up, if he was gonna do that. But that was just so cruel...
“Another day.” He settles on promising himself, a whisper on a strand of white hair, as he presses one last kiss to Sakura’s forehead. Hard as it is to wait for what he wants...for Sakura, he’ll endure.
(The same way he’d decided, on an easy whim, to leave Furin alone so long as he had Sakura, it’s easy for him to wait, to respect. All for Sakura’s own sake. Living for someone else’s will was its own job, but Yamato has always taken it with his own willingness.)
For now, once again, Yamato simply settles with holding Sakura closer. As much as he’s no mind reader (though reading Sakura and his thoughts doesn’t exactly require any special powers to understand, most of the time), it isn’t too hard to guess what had his boy’s mind runnin’ that whole time. He also just isn’t slick; Yamato has woken up plenty of times to Haruka scowling on the other side of the bed to know that he really hates not waking up with Yamato’s arms still around’im. It’s as funny as it is really aggravating—‘cause Yamato would like to wake up with Sakura still in his arms too, dammit!
“You really are somethin’ else, yanno?” Still whispering to himself, Yamato presses his face into Sakura’s hair and chuckles quietly. “Anything ya want, I’d give in a heartbeat. No questions asked; none needed.”
(Though that got proved well-enough just now, didn’t it?)
With Sakura in his rightful place once again—as secure as he can be without crushing him—and all his own want for kisses outta his system for now, Yamato heads back off into his own sleep.
If they wake up entangled in the morning, neither one of them will complain.