Work Text:
The thing that doesn’t make sense to Galinda is why she still cares so much.
She and Fiyero never even really dated. Sure, there was some mutual flirtation. He was a prince, after all. But at the end of the day, like with most of the boys Galinda had flirted with, she found she really didn’t care about him all that much. She was bored, and that was that.
They were friends still, of course they were. But Galinda was much too busy to date Fiyero, what with her new friendship. What with all the time she was spending with Elphaba.
She wouldn't have it any other way, of course. The best parts of her day were the ones spent with Elphie, the times they got lunch together or when they ended the night side by side, Elphaba reading and Galinda pestering her with questions. A new friendship was the most exhilarating thing for Galinda, it always had been. And Elphaba was strange and she was unlike anyone Galinda had ever known. It was fascinating.
The problem is such a silly one she can barely stand to call it that at all. It’s just that lately Elphaba and Fiyero have gotten close. They talk about politics together, they sometimes walk side by side away from the rest of the group, they joke together. It feels like she’s missed a step on the stairs, like her pink heel had landed on nothing but air with the way her stomach lurches, mind spins, disorienting and dizzying.
It isn’t fair, she knows that. Fiyero should be allowed to talk to whoever he wants, she knows that too. It’s just strange that she harbors such jealousy at seeing Elphie and Fiyero laugh together when she’d been so sure that she had no feelings for him. When she was over him already, old news.
But Galinda didn’t like to dwell on it. It was just a silly thing, it would go away. She had no doubt. And Fiyero was free to do what he wanted, to date who he wanted, even if that person was Elphaba. Even if the thought did something strange to her stomach.
It’s all very confusifying. Galinda hated jealousy, it made her act differently. Like at the start of school, when it didn’t matter that all the students loved her because Elphaba had made Madame Morrible, the only one whose approval mattered, her biggest champion. Jealousy had made her horrible to Elphaba, to her best friend. It had happened once, and she couldn’t let it happen again. So that was that.
–
Normally she and Elphaba will walk to class together, when they’re going to the same place. They both like to get there a few minutes early, so that they can claim their favorite seats and so that Galinda can meticulously lay out her pens and notes on the desk, straighten them too.
But Elphaba says she has to return a library book first, and so for the first time in weeks Galinda is walking to their first year Ozian literature class by herself. It’s strange that it feels lonely, even with the amount of students she passes who go out of their way to say hello to her. She always gives a gracious little response, but her mind is solidly elsewhere.
And maybe her mood improves noticeably when she gets to the doorway of the classroom. So what? She’s excited to see her best friend, which isn’t a crime. Elphie is sitting down already in the desk next to Fiyero’s, and Galinda smiles as she walks toward her. She’s wearing a new blouse that made her look smart, put together, lovely. And even though she’d blushed and protested when Galinda had told her that, she is wearing it. Which must count for something.
“Hi,” she chirps when she reaches the desk on Elphaba’s other side, sliding into the chair and leaning to take out her favorite gold pen. Elphaba glances her way with a quick smile, a genuine one, but then turns her head away to keep talking with Fiyero.
Fiyero is actually leaning towards Elphaba, she notices. And they’re laughing together, Elphie’s hand coming up to cover her mouth as she giggles which is something Galinda has only ever seen her do when they’re alone together. When it’s Galinda making her laugh. The sight of it zips through her and she feels suddenly nauseous.
“What’s so funny?” she finds herself saying, and hates it a little bit. She sounds like a child, like a clingy third wheel.
Elphaba and Fiyero turn to look at her, the evidence of their laughter still etched on their faces.
“We were just talking about the poem we were meant to read for class,” Fiyero explains, “you know, the one by that Winkie author?”
Galinda scrunches up her brow. She remembers the poem, having read it two nights ago with Elphaba over her shoulder explaining some of the trickier symbolism. But she can’t for the life of her think of what was funny about it.
“It had just reminded us of something we were talking about the other day in town— I think you were up ahead with Nessa at the time, Galinda, but there was this man with the most hilarious voice who was…”
Elphaba keeps talking, but Galinda feels more bewildered by the moment. Fiyero and Elphaba, sitting there before she’d even arrived, with little private jokes and giggling when they looked at each other? Anyone would be able to tell there’s something going on there. She looks again at Elphaba’s blouse, at her hair which she’d let fall down her back instead of tying it up. She’d thought Elphaba had dressed up for herself, or even for Galinda. What if it had been for Fiyero?
She feels another wave of the mysterious nausea.
The professor comes into the room and the chatter of the other students dwindles. Even Fiyero turns away with a final smile at Elphaba, who bends to take out her notes.
“But I don’t understand,” Galinda whispers to her. She knows she sounds silly, but she can barely bring herself to care.
Elphaba looks up at her. “It’s really nothing,” she whispers back, “I’ll explain it to you later, it’s just a joke.”
Galinda nods, a sinking feeling in her chest. The lecture begins, she hears the scratching of pens and the flipping of pages all around her but she can’t bring herself to focus on a single word.
Maybe it had been foolish to decide she was over Fiyero. If the mere thought of him having inside jokes with someone else, the two of them spending enough time to have a whole private dialect, was enough to make her feel so put off… well, it was the only explanation Galinda could think of. So she still liked Fiyero, she supposed.
And if she felt nothing at the thought, none of the little thrill she knew she was meant to feel with things like love, maybe that was just her own way.
Maybe she wasn’t the sort of girl who felt that way, after all. This was an idea she only usually let herself entertain late into the night, when there was no one around to tell her how she was meant to feel about boys. When it was just her.
She couldn’t let Elphaba know about these supposed feelings for Fiyero, of course. If she liked him she should have him, even if it made Galinda feel all strange inside. She deserves it.
She’s biting her lip, a bad habit she’s never quite been able to kick, and staring out the tall window at the front of the classroom when she feels a little poke at her arm, something being slipped in by her hand. She looks down— a note, in Elphaba’s handwriting.
Are you okay?
Elphaba is looking over at her from her desk, pen paused from the sentence she’s been copying into her notes. She looks genuinely worried, cocks her head at Galinda when she realizes she’s looking.
Elphie really is the best friend. Galinda feels warmth creep through her like taking a sip of hot tea after being out in the cold. She smiles back, gives a reassuring little nod.
And that is that.
–
Galinda is a very influential person. Everyone knows it, too. Sometimes it’s gratifying, sometimes it feels like she’s being crushed under the pressure of it. But she’s never been more pleased with her own influence than she has since she and Elphaba have gotten so close.
After the Ozdust, other people have started to like Elphaba too. They say hi to her in the halls, actually listen when she talks in class, treat her like an actual human being. And, because it makes Elphaba smile shyly every time, it makes Galinda feel all aglow.
But of course things are never perfect, not really. Sometimes there are little comments, and even though Elphaba says she doesn’t mind she gets a little look on her face that makes Galinda want to scream.
Elphie just wants to be liked. Wants to fit in. Wants to wear the latest fashions, and go out to the cool stores and bars in town. Wants to be flirted with, even, and make friends. Galinda knows this because they’re the same, her and Elphaba. Because she understands Elphaba more than she’s ever understood anyone.
They’re at their usual lunch table. Fiyero’s there too, but Galinda feels a rush of satisfaction at the fact that Elphie is sitting right next to her, not across the table with him, even letting their knees touch under the table.
Elphaba is wearing her hair differently today, Galinda can’t stop staring at it. Twisted around the top of her head, cascading down her back, with a little sky blue ribbon woven through it. A ribbon Galinda had given to her, in fact. And she’s so busy staring, just like she has been all morning, that she doesn’t even process what’s about to happen until it does.
Two students walk by their table, people whose names Galinda doesn’t even know. They’re looking at Elphaba all wrong, sneers and false pity.
“I mean, it’s just sad,” one of them says. “Does she think fancy hairstyles will make people forget she’s green?”
“It’s hideoteous,” the other one answers, and they both snicker down at Elphie. Elphie, who shrinks. Whose hand goes up to her hair self consciously. She doesn’t even look sad, she looks disappointed. Which is somehow worse.
How can her own peers be so blind? Galinda truly doesn’t understand it. Elphaba is truly and genuinely one of the most beautiful people Galinda has ever known. So effortlessly, too, her face and body and hair always perfect without hours of touching up. The way she looks when she’s laughing, or when she’s passionate about something. The shy look she gets when someone compliments her.
Galinda is standing before she realizes it. The students balk, look at her with nervous little smiles.
“Hi, Galinda,” one of them starts to gush, “I just love your lipstick today, is that a new color?”
“That was very rude,” she’s saying, and the idiots in front of her look baffled. She has no idea where she’s getting the nerve to do this. “Apologize to her, right now.”
But they only gape at her. And then someone’s tugging at her arm, and it’s Elphie, and she pulls Galinda back into her seat.
“It’s fine,” she’s saying, shaking her head at Galinda, but it isn’t fine. So far from it. She wants everyone to look at Elphie and see how pretty she looks, how pretty she always looks. She opens her mouth to argue.
“Honestly, Galinda, drop it. I don’t care,” Elphie is whispering to her, and she certainly looks like she cares but Galinda doesn’t know how to say that. Is it rude to say that?
And then Fiyero is swinging his leg over the bench he’s perched on and striding over to the idiots.
“Let’s take a walk, shall we?” he’s saying, and it’s perfectly calm but his voice is icy as he throws an arm around each of the students, jaw set firmly as he ushers them away.
It’s all happened so fast. Galinda’s not sure what to think, exactly. But then she looks at Elphie. Elphie, who is gazing to where Fiyero is clearly giving a stern talking to. Elphie, who is smiling softly. She looks pleased.
Galinda’s first thought, which falls into her mind crazy and unpolished, is outrage that Elphaba allowed Fiyero to defend her when Galinda had been right there.
She pushes that away quickly.
“I just didn’t want a whole scene,” Elphaba says softly, not looking at Galinda.
“But—,”
“Eat your lunch, Galinda. You’ll be hungry.”
Galinda scratches her neck, brow furrowed, but she does pick her fork back up. She and Elphie don’t talk.
The strange jealous feeling is back, gripping at her heart so that it aches when she looks across the room at Fiyero, then towards Elphie. She has the strange feeling that something’s very wrong but doesn’t quite know what it is.
And even if she has feelings for Fiyero… well, this makes no sense, does it? Why should she feel jealous that he defended Elphaba’s honor? Does she secretly want him to come to her defense?
It doesn’t quite make sense. Galinda isn’t even sure she can think of the last time someone was mean to her in public. In private, sure, that’s different— Pfannee and Shenshen smirking over the point of the hat her Granny had spent months sewing for her, for instance. Though that sort of thing is all subtle, little jabs to make her more perfect. Nothing a knight in Fiyero-shaped armor would be going to battle for.
So… what is it? Does she want Fiyero to defend her? For her to defend Fiyero? It’s not logical, and yet there’s that aching in her chest when she thinks about what’s just happened.
Sometimes, Galinda is sure she thinks too much.
She could spend hours dwelling on this, even maybe figuring out what in Oz is happening to her. She’d rather not, though. Not everything needs to be analyzed, regardless of what Elphie might say to that.
She looks at Elphaba, then, who is cutting her lunch into tiny bites very slowly. Her face is carefully giving nothing away, but Galinda knows her better than that. Sees the clench of her jaw, the tiny flicker of hurt in her eyes, the way her fingers itch to rip the ribbon from her hair. It’s a shame.
“For the record,” she says softly, and Elphaba looks up at her swiftly, “I think your hair looks beautiful.”
And Elphaba blushes, just like Galinda knew she would. “You don’t have to say that.”
“I know,” Galinda replies, eyebrows raised. “I said it because I mean it. I can hardly stop staring at you.”
It’s true. No need for her to dwell on it.
And a million things cross Elphaba’s face. Her brow furrows and then softens, lips twitch then still. Galinda’s words hang there in midair, it’s like she can see them hovering. Something she can’t quite identify floats there too, heavy. There is silence for a long time.
“Thank you,” Elphaba says softly, finally. It’s simple and small but there’s a real earnestness in her eyes and Galinda feels it strike a chord somewhere within her. Somewhere new, something she’s never ventured before.
There’s been a lot of that since she met Elphie.
She should quit while she’s ahead, while Elphaba is smiling sweetly at her, but it’s that same smile that makes her unable to resist taking it further, arguing the point.
“It’s thrillifying that you look so pretty with your hair like that, because I have ever so many other hair accessories we can try now that we know,” Galinda says, trying for matter of fact. She isn’t sure it’s working. Ephaba looks a little taken aback.
“Do you think Fiyero is ever coming back?” Elphaba asks, glancing towards him and the idiots anxiously, and Galinda can’t help but feel a little put out.
“Who cares,” she says sourly, “are you almost done eating? We have Sorcery.”
She’ll give Elphie some barrettes anyway, she’s already made her mind up.
–
The next time is the worst one yet.
She has already been agonizing over the whole ordeal, up at night trying to find romantical feelings for Fiyero absolutely anywhere except in her most jealous brain. She can’t picture them on a date, or being physical... the thought gives her chills and she’s fairly sure they aren’t the good kind.
But she cares for him, she knows this. So maybe? And anyway, she reasons, the feelings of sharp jealousy that keep bubbling to the surface are absolutely undeniable.
Galinda has never been the type to stress over feelings. In the past with boys it’s been quick and fun— some flirting, kisses, a few dates, even sex once or twice. Flings. Fun while they’re fun, and not made to last beyond that.
This is something else entirely. She’s having crazy urges to read her own tea leaves, or something.
The worst time, as she’s come to think of it, happens that weekend. Fiyero has talked a group of students into another night at the Ozdust. And the last time they’d gone her whole world had changed. The fear she’d always carried, that deep rooted plea for people to like her… well, sure, it was still in there somewhere. Elphie had it too. But seeing Elphaba dancing alone, dancing alone because of Galinda? Well, that had been more important.
It’s the only time she can remember that she’s done out loud what she wanted to in her head.
And Elphaba is actually excited this time, keeps talking about how much she wants to talk to the Animal bartender she’d noticed last time.
“I mean, I’m sure he has such insight about this side of Ozian culture,” she chatters on excitedly while Galinda applies her makeup, watching Elphaba talk fondly in the mirror. “And all the Animal patrons, too— I mean, some of them have really lived, you know? And maybe if we talk I can get involved, find a way to actually help on the ground. Galinda, are you even listening to me?”
Galinda starts, affronted. “Of course I am! And I think it’s a fantastic idea. You’ll save a dance for me, though?”
She asks this as an afterthought, a little nervously. Elphaba looks at her like she’s being utterly ridiculous. “Well, obviously.”
Galinda feels her whole body warm at that, gives Elphie a shy smile. And she feels that warmth all night— she’s dressed up and she knows she looks good, and she’s got a sweet bubbly drink in her hand, and her skirt fans out when she twirls. It’s delightful.
And Elphie being there makes it even better. She’s wearing a black dress again but this time it’s velvety, exposes some more skin on her shoulders, and it’s fitted perfectly to show off her figure. Galinda keeps finding her across the room, and it isn’t even on purpose, but when their eyes lock Elphie will beam at her and it just makes the warm feeling even stronger. She feels exhilarated, surrounded by her friends and music and colorful lights and clothes and Elphaba, who is better than all the other things. It’s like a dream, sort of.
She even feels fine when Fiyero dances with Elphie, because she dances with him right after and then she gets to dance with Elphie, too.
So, of course, this isn’t what makes it the worst time. The moment happens when they’re on the boat back to Shiz. It’s late, and Nessa is asleep on Boq’s shoulder. Some of the other students are chattering up front but it’s muted. She is sitting at the very back of the boat, with Elphaba on her left and Fiyero to her left.
Elphaba is talking rapidly about her night, how lovely it has all been, all the conversations she’d been able to have and the book that the Goose at the bar had recommended to her. Galinda knows she must look stupid, gazing on affectionately. Fiyero looks the same.
“They even told me about a meeting in Winkie Country, and of course I can’t go but Fiyero, maybe you know some of the leaders?”
“I might,” Fiyero is agreeing. Everything feels a little hazy for Galinda— probably the alcohol. She’s cold, she realizes. “I can get in touch with some Animals I know back home, if you’d like, see if they’d talk with you.”
“Really?” Elphaba exclaims. She’s beaming. And then Galinda sees it.
In her excitement, Elphaba has grabbed one of Fiyero’s hands. She’s squeezing it, clasped between her own as she talks gleefully with Fiyero. Galinda feels ice cold.
They’re touching now?
She hates ugly things, emotions included. Really, she does. But she doesn’t even feel like she’s exaggerating when she crosses her arms, feels a crinkle between her brows.
What is going on?
She’s jealous, yes. Fiyero is holding hands with Elphaba, or something like it. She must want that to be her, to be sitting between the two of them. To celebrate the night with Elphie, hear all about what her dearest friend had been up to, to have Fiyero quiet on her other side with his hand in hers.
Because she likes Fiyero. That has to be it. Doesn’t it?
Maybe it’s the late hour, or the drunkenness. Nothing ever seems to add up anymore. She feels her head spin with confusion, maybe, as well as revulsion.
Then the spinning becomes too real, she’s suddenly too warm and frozen to the bone all at once and the waves in front of her go all… well, wavy.
“I think I’m gonna throw up,” she says suddenly and before she knows it she’s leaning her head over the side of the boat and retching into the icy water. There are some horrified gasps from around her, footfalls as people flee from her vicinity.
“Shit,” she hears from behind her, and she isn’t sure who said it because all of the sounds around her are blending. But from this angle the chill from the water hits her cheeks, and it’s quite relaxing. From down here she can ignore her thoughts.
But then there’s a hand on her back, rubbing soft little circles. And it’s smoothing her hair off of her neck, scooping it so it doesn’t fall into her face. She melts into the touch just a little.
“Galinda,” she hears, and Elphaba’s face is beside hers leaning off the side of the boat. She’s looking at her worriedly, but her face is so tender that it makes Galinda’s stomach lurch again on account of the fluttering.
“Hi,” she moans.
“Hi,” Elphaba says softly, “do you think you’re done? Or do you need a minute?”
“I’m good,” she insists, though her voice is raspy and unconvincing.
“I’m sorry, honey,” Elphie is saying. “Can you try to sit up? Good, that’s good—,” and Galinda feels herself being moved gently.
She sees Fiyero give Elphaba a handkerchief out of the corner of her eye, whispering, “Is she okay?” Elphaba just nods and flits back to Galinda’s side. She finds herself smiling.
“Is that a feeling better smile?” Elphaba teases, brushing Galinda’s hair away from her clammy forehead.
“It’s a you smile,” Galinda answers. Elphaba just laughs.
“You’re not making any sense.”
“Elphie,” she moans suddenly, “oh, this is so embarrassing. Everybody saw me… it's so disgusting, I—,”
“Shh, no one minds,” Elphaba says. It’s blatantly not true, she can actually see Pfannee gagging theatrically a few feet away, but it’s sweet all the same. She’s tipsy enough that she can let the shame float away and focus on Elphie again.
“Thank you for helping,” Galinda says through a yawn.
“Always,” Elphaba smiles. “We’re almost back, will you let me help you off the boat?”
And, well. If she insists.
Something Galinda has always enjoyed about herself is the way her mind will clear, sometimes, and the answer to something she’s been chewing on will be sitting there, bright and safe. She’s always been good at problem solving, at fixing.
That’s what happens then. It’s not a big production, there is no dramatic reveal. Just Galinda, holding Elphaba’s hand as they step out onto the dock. Just how warm Elphie feels, how soft and lovely she is. How delicate with Galinda’s hair, with her face, with her emotions, just like she always is.
How much, Galinda realizes all at once, she’d like to kiss her.
And there it is. Oh. Seeing Fiyero jump to Elphaba’s defense, seeing him joke with her, seeing him touch her… no, she’d been right. She never cared all that much about Fiyero, besides the fact that he was a good solid friend. All this crazy jealousy, her borderline madness…
Well. If it had been about Elphaba it just made so much more sense. They feel right together, Galinda thinks. She could turn right now and kiss her and hold her and it would be right.
And it comes into her head so simply that she almost forgets she hadn’t known it the moment before.
She’s trying not to think too much about it as they make their way up to the castle but Fiyero bids them both good night and gives Galinda a little anxious pat on the back, like he isn’t quite sure what to do. It comes rushing back, then. She groans.
“What’s wrong?” Elphaba asks instantly, face pinched with worry. “Are you going to throw up again? We can stop walking, let’s sit you down—,”
“I’m fine,” Galinda huffs. “Elphie?”
“Um. Yes?” Elphaba answers, letting Galinda resume the walk to their room. She’s practically letting Elphaba support the whole of her body weight, gripping her arm tight.
“Do you like Fiyero?”
Elphaba’s eyes flick to her fast, searching. “He’s a good friend,” she says.
“That isn’t what I mean. Do you like him.”
Elphaba is quiet and at first Galinda’s sure she’s dodging the question. Except when she looks over at her friend she looks genuinely contemplative, like she’s parsing through something in her mind.
“I don’t think so,” she replies finally, almost curiously. Like it’s something she hadn’t considered before this very moment.
Galinda feels a little floaty. “Good, that’s good,” she finds herself whispering.
Elphaba looks at her sharply, questioningly. She’s aware that something she’s said sounds off but with the tipsiness isn’t quite sure what it was. To cover her bases she looks up at Elphaba with big eyes. “Elphie, will you brush out my hair for me before bed?”
Elphaba latches onto this instead. Thank Oz. “I thought you loved to brush your hair.”
“I do. But, well, it’s so late, and I still feel all… kind of drifty. Besides,” she sighs, “I like it when you play with my hair.”
Elphaba’s eyes are very wide. “Alright,” she says softly.
Galinda beams.
–
When she wakes up the next morning, Galinda hardly notices her head pounding or the way she’s tangled up in all of her blankets. She just remembers calm, serene water and flickering lights on the horizon. Remembers that there is something important about this moment, and she’s not sure why.
Like when she’d finally been allowed to wear little heels for the first time in her youth and had felt them sparkle on her feet with a phantom buzz all day, reminding her. There was something out of reach, special.
She remembers the moment she blinks her eyes open and sees Elphaba dressing near her side of the room. The way she buttons her blouse, how she moves her long braids out of the way. Oh, Galinda thinks with affection, this is the special thing. She is what I know, now.
Something about Elphaba’s hand in hers, and not in Fiyero’s, and about feeling that special rush that was mysticized in a thousand stories she’d read as a small child. True love’s kiss, or whatever.
There was Elphaba, the girl she loved. That was that.
And maybe it should’ve been a bigger deal. After all, Galinda had never entertained the thought before. But it doesn’t feel that way when she yawns loudly and Elphaba turns to her with such affection and care in her eyes and asks her how she’s feeling, if she wants a fizzy drink or a cool towel for her head. It just feels normal.
The rest of the weekend has Galinda in a haze. She can barely focus on schoolwork or even on planning outfits, which normally will get her out of a funk. It’s just that every minute she spends with Elphaba feels deeply precious, somehow even more than it already did. She wants to make a joke just to hear Elphaba laugh, smile just so that Elphie’s eyes will flick down to her dimple and sometimes even her lips.
Flirting has always been fun for her, but flirting when she actually cares about the outcome? When Elphaba is maybe the only person she’s been unsure will respond? Well, that’s a new challenge entirely. And Galinda loves a challenge.
And so she spends the weekend that way, getting nothing done except making Elphie laugh a lot, and blush a few times, and even hold her hand, too.
But then it’s Monday, and then Tuesday, and Elphaba has classes and homework and she gets a letter from her father that puts her in a bad mood for a day and then she goes off to study one afternoon and doesn’t come back for hours.
Which is fine. It’s fine! Except that she’d promised Galinda they’d get dinner together, is all. And Galinda had been thinking about it all day, about how she could probably convince Elphie to play with her hair while she read in her bed that night and now Elphie just wasn’t here.
It’s fine. She gets food with Pfannee and Shenshen, who get somehow more annoying every minute she has to spend by their side. She makes her way back to the room, throws herself down on the bed, tries to focus on the magazine her parents had sent along to her in their most recent package. It was somehow impossible to focus on drop waists and yellow being back in style, though. She taps anxiously on the edge of the page.
Elphaba gets in after dusk. She enters without a lot of fanfare, but Galinda shoots up the moment the door starts to creak open, throws the magazine to the side and fixes her hair as fast as she can. She’s perched on the end of her bed by the time Elphaba is shutting the door.
“Where have you been?” She whines, sort of.
Elphaba looks at her surprised, like she hadn’t expected Galinda to notice. “I was just with Fiyero,” she answers.
Of course. Galinda feels all sour inside, like she’s eaten some repulsive candy and felt the acidity permeate her stomach, her blood.
“With Fiyero?” She tries to keep her voice light.
“I just… I was feeling a little overwhelmed,” Elphaba says shyly, ducking her head and coming over to drop her books on her desk. Galinda shifts on the bed so that she’s right next to her. “I was sad, and then I got a little anxious about my spells for Morrible, and, well… Fiyero was there, and he helped me out. That’s all.”
The idea of Elphie sad is enough to make her head reel. The idea of Elphie sad and turning to Fiyero for comfort, Fiyero and not Galinda? Well.
There must be a grumpy expression on her face because Elphaba gives her a strange look. “Well, I’m alright now,” she assures.
“You were anxious?” Galinda asks softly. “About Sorcery? Elphie, you’re the most talented—,”
“It’s really not a big deal,” Elphaba cuts her off, spinning to face Galinda. They’re close enough that she feels butterflies in her stomach, her heart beats a little faster.
“You could’ve come to me,” Galinda whispers.
“What?” Elphaba looks genuinely puzzled.
“If you were sad. You could’ve talked to me about it. I want you to talk to me about it.” Her voice sounds foreign, pleading in a way she really does not like.
Elphaba just stares at her. “I know. Or… well, I didn’t want to bother you with it. Fiyero was just there, already, so…’
“I thought you didn’t even like Fiyero like that,” she grumbles, “you told me you didn’t.”
“Why do you even care who I like?” Elphaba’s face is all jumbled, creased and confused. She’s so close, now, because she’s sitting down in her desk chair and Galinda’s at the foot of her bed and she’d really only have to move, like, a foot and then…
“I— I don’t. I mean, I do. You’re my friend,” she exhales, all at once. “I care because we’re friends. And friends tell each other things.”
“Do they?” Elphaba says, and there’s a little teasing lilt to her voice that drives Galinda crazy. She’s just there, and her face is clear and open and still Galinda can’t understand her. It’s discombobulating. And sort of infuriating, if she’s honest.
“Yes,” Galinda huffs, and then Elphie is smiling at her a little bit. Still teasing, still affectionate. Her lips look soft. Galinda finds herself leaning in, and Elphaba doesn’t lean away.
Their lips meet tentatively. Galinda feels it everywhere, loses her breath all in an instant and leans even more forward to press her face closer. Elphaba smells like snow and peppermint, a little bit floral. She feels obsessive.
Elphaba moves, just a bit, and Galinda pulls back in an instant although she doesn’t want to. Elphaba must have been confused, she must be horrified, and she’s going to yell at Galinda or worse, leave, and Galinda should have known better, she should’ve…
Elphaba is back as quickly as Galinda had pulled away. Her lips are on Galinda’s and it’s more, this time, deeper and faster and Elphie’s hands are coming up to Galinda’s arms, her shoulders, they’re tangling in her hair. She feels like she’s on fire.
Galinda has kissed a lot of people in her life. None of them have ever, ever felt like this.
She wants to move in more, to consume. To not stop until she’s up next to Elphie, on her lap and in her arms and until she can kiss her until Elphaba knows what she wants. Until she can’t feel her face.
She wants to, but she doesn’t. She wants to but she remembers that it’s Elphaba, Elphaba who Galinda had been so mean to back when she cared about what everyone else thought more than she cared about hurting her. And now she still cares, wishes that she didn’t. Wishes she was brave, because Elphaba deserves brave.
She’s moving away from Elphaba’s mouth again with a gasp and Elphie is looking up at her with her lips slightly parted and plump, face flushed, blinking with her long eyelashes. “Galinda,” she says.
“I have to go,” Galinda stammers, “to… to sleep. It’s late.”
“It isn’t even nine,” Elphaba murmurs. She holds out her hand.
“Past my bedtime,” Galinda says, ridiculously. “See you tomorrow.”
And she’s switching off her light, before she even puts up her hair. A few minutes pass and finally she hears Elphaba’s chair shift, the squeak of it being pushed in, the whispery sounds of Elphaba changing clothes and the click of her lamp, throwing the corner of the room into a glowy orange haze.
Galinda hates herself viscerally for a brief moment.
She’s got to be crazy. Jealous that Elphaba had more than one shoulder to cry on? It was the most ridiculous thing in the world. She was a horrible friend, she knew she was. Elphaba could be happy with Fiyero, she must have been more selfish than she thought if she didn’t want that for her. Didn’t want her to be happy.
And because it’s not even nine, according to Elphaba, she isn’t remotely tired. She’s just angry, and frustrated, and stupid.
When she had been a child and unable to sleep her Popsicle had taught her little games to help— naming one food for each letter of the alphabet, for instance. She tries it now, eyes screwed shut and bunching her blankets up to cuddle. She feels like she’s five, crawling into her parents’ bed because of a nightmare. She can hear Elphaba rustling around mere feet from her.
She’s made it to Q and gets stuck there, lets her eyes open. Elphaba is still there. She can feel her like they’re one and the same, like Elphaba is an extension of herself. She has Elphaba’s whole nighttime routine down, knows what each tiny sound means and what’s going to come next.
She bites her tongue. “Elphie?”
And Elphaba is by her side in a second. Galinda can’t see her well but she’s silhouetted by the faint light of her lamp.
“I can’t sleep.”
“I’m sure,” Elphaba murmurs.
And Galinda steels herself, tries to be brave again. She slides over, flips her duvet so that there’s space in the bed for Elphaba. If she wants it.
Without a moment of hesitation, Elphaba climbs in.
And, well. Galinda feels her body react to that, feels her mind buzz happily. Elphaba is close to her face, she can see the little freckles on her cheeks and the way she’s looking at Galinda, so soft.
“I’m sorry,” she says very quietly. A hand curls around her own.
“Don’t be,” Elphaba says. “I’ll be here in the morning.”
They don’t talk any more, after that. Galinda falls asleep with her hand in Elphaba’s.
–
When she wakes up it’s the same as the morning after going out. She feels something special, something important lingering on her lips before she remembers her lips are the thing, how they’d met Elphaba’s last night.
She opens her eyes and Elphaba’s sitting at her desk again, looks up nervously when Galinda moves. She opens her mouth to speak, but Galinda gets there first. She feels out of her body.
“I care about who you like because I want it to be me,” she’s blurting. Elphaba meets her eyes sharply. “I’ve been so jealous of seeing you with Fiyero, I want you to feel that way about me and I like you, Elphaba, I… I really like you.”
Elphaba looks surprised but not horrified, not like Galinda had imagined she would. She opens her mouth, closes it, opens it again.
“Galinda,” she whispers, a corner of her mouth ticking up, “I do feel that way about you. Silly.”
And it’s like time has stopped. “You… you do?” Galinda murmurs, feeling like her voice can’t go any louder. She can’t even breathe.
“Of course I do,” Elphaba is coming towards her, then, to the side of her bed. Galinda sits up straighter, hands flying to smooth her hair and fix the rumples in her nightgown. “Why do you think I kissed you?”
Galinda isn’t sure she can answer that. Her hands still, one brushing through her hair and the other lingering on a wrinkle at the chest of her nightgown. She feels her heart beating everywhere.
Elphaba sits beside her then, shyly. She does not say anything.
The light falls through the open window onto Galinda’s pink blankets, glints off her mirror. She hears Elphaba breathing next to her. She is brave.
“Can I kiss you again?” she asks, staring straight ahead.
Elphaba laughs, touches Galinda’s jaw ever so slightly so that her head turns. Leans in.