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George Washington’s teeth started falling out before he was even thirty. Many know that during this time period they did not have the technology we have today. Dentures back then were made from various things, such as wood, ivory, and animal teeth. George’s dentures, when he eventually lost all of his teeth, happened to be made from sheep teeth. This wasn’t too remarkable, as dentures were also made from other farm animals, such as horses. Poor George was wearing a full set of dentures by age fifty-seven, despite brushing his teeth. Many also know that Mr. Washington had a wife, named Martha. Well, her name was not actually Martha, it was Mary. It’s a common mistake that most schools teach, and it’s a pity, since Mary is such a pretty and important name. They were happy together, as happy as a couple could be during the 1700s.
One day, when George went to take his dentures out after a long and uncomfortable day of wearing them, he found himself unable to do so. He pulled and pulled, but each time he did he was met with pain. He called some of his servants over, trying to remain calm. They found his dentures seemingly fused to his gums. Chaos soon spread throughout Mount Vernon. Doctors were called, but to no avail. No one knew what was happening. Mary wept the whole night. Both she and George, especially, were quite troubled.
George was extremely stressed. He had doctors visit every day after his many, draining duties. Day after day he lost sleep. Not only were the dentures fixed to his skeleton, but they were also extremely uncomfortable, which added to the stress. They were too big for him, and ever since becoming part of him, he couldn’t get a break from the painful things. Many believed it was a punishment from the Lord, for something the usually pious man did. What this was no one knew, but as the sciences weren’t the leading opinion for most people at the time, no one questioned it.
One day, on the now-normal visits, a doctor noticed something. The bigger than normal, small mounds of white fit George’s mouth a bit better. The fake teeth had shrunken. Very slightly, but they had. An eruption of discussion and bewilderment started between the doctors. Everyone started naming possibilities left and right, many of which were very implausible, some were even shocking. George, even though totally freaked out about this situation, wasn’t too distraught over this. He found solace in that it was a possibility for these things to disappear; thank the Lord.
The dentures continued to shrink. While George was happy about this, the amount of pain he suffered overshadowed it. After a couple of days, they had become almost half of what they once were. Now, this wasn’t due to George grinding, the teeth were still the same at the tips. By two weeks they had been reduced to tiny nubs, barely poking out of his flesh. The pain had subsided and everything was looking up. This whole event was no doubt traumatizing for George, but he soldiered on. Mary was elated at this. She demanded George to invest in better dentures, maybe ones of pure hippopotamus ivory. As George needed to keep up appearances, he did what she said.
After a while, everyone seemed normal. The fright from the freak incident had almost dissipated, instead replaced by a feeling of contentedness. No one questioned it, no one pondered it. George especially felt just fine. He was a strong leader and a strong man, having been a military commander. He had been through way worse than the odd event, which was unexplainable by any science they had at the time. There was something off, though; George’s hair seemed to have changed. His servants had found it became more difficult to tame, having become thicker and curlier. They also didn’t need to use as much powder on it to get the ideal cloud-white color, as it had lightened a bit. No one paid attention to this, however, as they were glad the previous situation was over.
Soon, Mary became pregnant. George and Mary didn’t have any children together, although Mary had a few from a previous marriage. They were surprised by this announcement, but happy nonetheless. Mary started preparing for the upcoming baby. George tried his best to be supportive in between his busy schedule as America’s president. As the weeks went on, everything was fine. Mary was continuing in her pregnancy healthily and normally, albeit with a few extra pains here and there. Mount Vernon was quiet. George’s ordeal was now long forgotten and everyone focused on the soon-to-be-born baby. George was doing well, leading the country as best as anyone could possibly do. The stress of the baby was getting to him slightly. Having gone through some parenthood he was prepared, but it never stops being nerve-wracking. He reported to his presidential duties and looked his best. The hippopotamus dentures that Mary had suggested suited and fit him well. Soon she reached her due date. Many doctors and nurses gathered at the house for the anticipated birth.
The labor was painful. Morning came and night passed while Mary pressed on. It had already been 26 long hours, and the baby was not yet out. Many were worried, but as afternoon came more progress was made. Minutes later, the newborn came into the world.
The midwives fainted and doctors gasped. The thing that came out wasn’t like anything ever seen before. At this moment everyone knew what had happened, though it was nearly impossible to wrap their heads around it. George’s dentures had been absorbed into his body. The shrinking was the tissue seeping into his blood flow. The pain was due to George’s body being altered right below his eyes. Somehow, something even divinely impossible happened. The DNA from the sheep teeth had become one with his own. Everything yet nothing was explained. His hair becoming whiter and thicker, his As that had become drawn out in the past couple of weeks, and his pupils that had become slightly less circular. Everything was because of the genetic makeup in his big, uncomfortable dentures. This was the day when Mary had a little lamb.