Chapter Text
“Shadow the Hedgehog? Oh, he’s a freak of nature.” The harsh, grating voice shouted in the black hedgehog’s ear through the headphones. Red eyes glistened as a thin layer of tears began to form, yet he could not bring himself to stop listening. “I mean, common knowledge right? Everyone knows he was made in some test-tube by some ancient relative of Eggman’s.”
“I thought it was his grandfather?” A second voice, gentler yet still judgement, joined the podcast.
“Basically the same, but you get my point! He’s not ‘real’, he’s like one of those battery babies in the Matrix. Well, he’s not actually plugged into a computer simulation, but he was made to power something .”
“Like…?”
“Our reality! That’s what he was made to do–”
Shadow quickly swiped away from the podcast and onto the next, escaping the increasingly obnoxious topic of conversation. Only to fall prey to something else that was much worse.
“He’s a weapon of mass destruction.” A new voice growled. Shadow could almost picture the man hunched over a desk, spitting spiteful words into the microphone. “He has no purpose in this world other than to serve those who bought him, and that is G.U.N. And all those ‘heroes’ that he’s been mingling with? Whatever he thinks he feels with them? It’s not real. He can’t feel anything; friendship, happiness, love. It’s all inside his head–”
Shadow sighed and swiped to the next podcast; once again met with the same uneducated and hateful words. He knew better than to trust in people who he didn’t know, and they him. But with how many times the same thing was said over and over again…it tends to dwell on him. After all, if the masses agree, then something must be true. Right?
The black hedgehog found himself listening to yet another ‘hot-take’ podcast on him, so lost in someone else’s opinion of him that he didn’t hear the wooden door creak open to allow another into the office. Only when they wrapped their gentle, peach-furred arms around Shadow’s shoulders did he finally notice their presence. Quickly, Shadow closed his open tabs, shutting down the voices before he turned to look at the blue hedgehog behind him.
“Could’ve told me you came home early, I would’ve brought takeout.” Sonic smirked as he gave Shadow a nuzzle on the cheek. “Hey, Shads. I missed ya.”
Shadow hummed absentmindedly, wrapping his hand around Sonic’s as he soaked in his partner’s warmth. Normally this greeting from the blue hedgehog ruffled the butterflies in Shadow’s stomach, making him all flustered and giddy to see his boyfriend whom he was dating in secrecy, yet recently that feeling has gone and Shadow was struggling to get it back.
Ever since he stumbled across social media, after much insistence from Sonic — saying they needed to keep in touch — Shadow found what the world really thought of him. His heroic efforts to keep Maria’s wish were overlooked by the general public as they instead chose to focus on his flaws; his attempts to destroy humanity, his outlandish origins and his personality that has been perceived to be violent and rude. Oh how he wanted to reach through the screen and strangle each and every person who dared to speak so lowly of him, but he knew that would only serve to prove their points. That was how Shadow found himself loathing society once more, but without any energy to fight back this time. Each time he reads or hears a bad review of him, Shadow sinks further into his den of isolation. Perhaps if he makes himself obscure, those terrible hot-takes would go away.
“Hey, you okay?” Sonic asked as he spun Shadow’s chair around, his beautiful green eyes gazing ever so lovingly at the black hedgehog.
Shadow kept his mouth shut. He hated how much love he could see in the blue hedgehog’s eyes; that same adoration and passion from all those years ago remained as bright as they had been since the day the two of them met. Yet is it really love he’s feeling from Sonic? Or was it all fake, because just like someone said on their podcast, Shadow can’t feel anything…
“I’m fine.” Shadow murmured eventually, his voice coming out more quiet and lacklustre than he anticipated. Luckily, Sonic — being the caring partner he had come to be — didn’t push the black hedgehog. Instead, the blue hedgehog gently pulled Shadow to his feet and guided him out of the room.
“You seem tired,” Sonic said, giving Shadow a kiss on the cheek, “let’s wash up and go to bed, yeah? I think I’m long overdue for a cuddle-sesh.”
That kiss burned on Shadow’s cheek. It no longer felt right to receive such affection from Sonic. It felt like…it should be meant for someone else…
That night, Shadow couldn’t sleep. Even with Sonic’s arms wrapped tightly around his waist, the sound of his soft breaths and steady heartbeat, the black hedgehog could not be lured. In his mind, the words of every opinion he has seen about himself played endlessly. Shadow took a sharp breath so he wouldn’t wake Sonic with his silent cries.
He’s a freak. He’s not real. He’s a weapon. He can’t feel.
Shadow gently tore himself away from Sonic’s arms. The blue hedgehog stirred but remained unconscious, and so Shadow quietly made his way out of the bedroom and towards the front door.
Sonic deserves someone better than him. Sonic deserves someone who wasn’t some tool to be called to battle, someone who didn’t have to pretend they hated him in public. Sonic should be receiving lavish gifts and going on astounding dates to the most luxurious places, not racing through muddy fields. Shadow couldn’t give Sonic any of that. What did he know about love, as something that supposedly couldn’t have any emotions?
Sonic deserves someone who can feel true love, unafraid to act on their feelings.
Shadow couldn’t, so he never should’ve been by Sonic’s side.
It stung to leave, but this would be for the better. No matter how much it hurt, or how much his stupid heart ached in his chest, Shadow sneaked out of the front door and kept walking. He didn’t know where he was going, but he just needed to leave. For the better.
Sonic would find someone who could make him happy; someone who could feel the love he held for them. And Shadow would be alone — hurting, grieving, crying all alone. But it was the right outcome. The world told him so.