Work Text:
On the sixth anniversary of the apostasy, I wake up with dread.
Just get through the day , Deigh says as soon as my eyes open. He’s not always awake when I am, but I guess he knew I’d need some company.
I know I’m not the only one of us who hates the memories that today brings up. All of us will handle it in our own way. Xaden will be surly, Garrick will be angling for a fight, Imogen will be the one to take the bait, and Bodhi will push away his own feelings in order to monitor all of us.
Which is why I decide to handle my feelings about today in a healthier way than any of them. Especially if I’m going to be around Violet, who has her own grief connected to today. And she doesn’t even have the benefit of the truth.
Of course, if she did know the truth, that means she wouldn’t really have anything to grieve about after all. But I’m not going to hold that against her.
No, I plan to do what I usually do today: set aside set boundaries of time throughout the day to give in to all of the complicated emotions I’m feeling…and then shrug them off as soon as the timer goes off. On good years, that has meant one five minute pity fest in the morning and one at night. On the bad years, that has turned into about twelve instances of a breakdown, adding up to almost an hour of emotional devastation.
But this year feels like an average one, especially once I start my first session and realize that my connection with Deigh helps tremendously. He sent soothing feelings to me the entire time, so I’m hoping that means I’ll only need an amount of time on the lower end of the spectrum for the rest of the day.
Afterwards, it takes one glance around the mess hall at breakfast for me to see that my hunch about my marked friends was correct. Imogen and Garrick already seem to be glaring at each other across the room even though we’re barely into the day, and Bodhi is hovering beside Garrick worriedly. Xaden isn’t even here.
I roll my eyes as I take my place next to Violet at our usual spot, barely missing Ridoc’s gesticulating hands as he uses them to emphasize whatever story he’s telling Sawyer and Rhiannon. Sawyer looks amused, but Rhiannon looks like she’s trying hard not to be. So…a typical day with these three.
Violet is quieter than usual, and clearly distracted. I don’t talk much anyway, so I don’t expect the rest of the squad to notice if I stay low today. I’m surprised none of them say anything about Violet’s mood. Rhiannon shoots her a couple glances, but ultimately lets it be. Probably smart. It’s not like I’m eager to bring up what this day means to Violet and me anyway.
Violet and Xaden do that weird silent communication thing in Battle Brief. I can tell even before Xaden’s outburst because Violet keeps reacting physically in a way that has no correlation to the discussion going on around her. Sinking down in her seat, frowning, clasping her pen way too hard.
I wouldn’t care so much if they didn’t both become moody and insufferable whenever they did this. I know that Xaden is already in a pissy mood, and I wish Violet would go a little easier on him, today of all days.
Or maybe she should just finally fuck him again.
Based on the fact that Xaden has been an even bigger asshole than usual to everyone around him since that time I had to replace her armoire, my guess is they haven’t gotten together again since then.
Sure enough, Violet is practically scowling by the time Devera dismisses us from Battle Brief. I raise my eyebrows at her as we gather our things and ask, “Anything I need to know about what’s going on between you and…”
“Absolutely nothing is going on between us,” Violet snaps. “Not one damn thing.”
I’m thinking about the best way to remind her what today means to Xaden, in the hopes that it might make her soften towards him a bit, but before I can say anything she abruptly turns to Rhiannon. “So are you excited to finally be able to write to your sister in ten days?”
Rhiannon grins. “I’ve been writing her once a month since we got here. Now I’ll finally get to post them.”
I fall back as the two of them walk ahead of me to our next class. I think about the stack of letters I’ve written to Sloane over the last few months. I’d written to her while I was fostered with Xaden, but not being able to send anything to her since I entered the Quadrant has left me with an ache in my chest that I haven’t been able to shake. It’s only been a year since Rhiannon has seen her sister, and I know exactly how hard that must have been for her. Because not only have I not been able to write to Sloane, but I haven’t been able to see her for six years.
Damn, is it going to be good to see her again on Conscription Day soon.
That thought buoys me for a few more hours, but as the Reunification Day celebration approaches, I realize that I may have underestimated how many grief timers I needed to set today. The thought of grinning and bearing my way through a crowd of politicians celebrating the fact that they killed my parents is…making me tense, to say the least. And by the time I have to get dressed for the damn thing, I’m practically shaking from a mix of rage, depression, and general desperation to get the hell away from this place. Even Deigh’s comforting presence isn’t doing much to tamper anything.
I’m just about to set a timer so that I can punch my fist into my wall when there’s a knock at my door.
Groaning, I stride across my room and throw open the door, letting my emotions get the better of me in the moment. I quickly attempt to mask my expression when I see Xaden glowering at me, not wanting him to feel any more guilt than he already does.
As always, though, Xaden doesn’t miss a thing. My stomach churns a bit when I see him wince a little. I can imagine he’s thinking that I wouldn’t be in such a mood if it wasn’t for him. As if the whole apostasy is on his shoulders.
“You’re already dressed for the celebration,” Xaden says simply. “I should have let you know earlier: you’re off the hook tonight.”
He turns away, already ready to leave, but he stops in his tracks when I say, “I’m still going.”
Xaden looks back at me, one eyebrow raised. “That’s probably not a good idea, given the murderous way you just opened the door.”
I shrug, hand still clutching the door. “It was a lapse. I’ll be fine.”
Xaden continues to look at me intently, as if he’s trying to read my mind. As always when he does this, I just stare calmly back. Finally, his expression softens slightly. “I’m serious, Liam. I was forced to go to this my first year and I haven’t been since. Trust me when I say that it’s fucking brutal. Violence can handle herself just fine tonight.”
“Probably,” I say, nodding. “But I’m still going.”
He sighs, clearly frustrated. He’s probably reached his limit of give-a-fucks for the day, because he just rakes his hand through his hair and shakes his head before stalking off.
“Nice talk,” I call after him in an upbeat manner before he rounds the corner. I hear him muttering something under his breath and chuckle to myself. That was enough of a distraction that I feel a little better, at least.
But I still set aside some time for wallowing just in case.
Which means I’m running slightly behind by the time I finally leave my room to meet with the rest of the squad in the hallway. Violet is already walking away next to Rhiannon, with Nadine, Ridoc and Sawyer right behind them.
They’re quickly disappearing among the crowd of cadets moving toward the staircase, so I start running and shout out, “You did not try to leave without me!”
I’m fast, so it doesn’t take long for me to catch up to them. Violet says, “I was hoping you’d been given the night off.” Then she looks at me a little more closely and grins. “Don’t you look handsome.”
“I know.” And I do know. I’ve never had trouble getting someone to bed, and I’m not above a little horizontal distraction tonight to get my mind off of things. After Violet’s safe in her room, of course. “I’ve heard healer cadets have a thing for riders.”
“Hardly.” Rhiannon laughs. “As often as they have to put us back together? I bet they’re more into scribes.”
Fair point. My mind immediately goes to Jesinia, but I know Violet would probably throw a dagger into my dick if I went anywhere near her friend. Might not be a bad idea to get some tips for picking up some other scribe, though.
“What are scribes into?” I ask Violet as we descend the stairs in a sea of black, taking the path I tread with her every morning toward the Archives. “Seeing as you were almost one of them?”
“Usually other scribes,” she answers. “But I guess riders, in my father’s case.”
Yeah, I can still never wrap my head around that relationship. Knowing what I do about General Sorrengail, I’m surprised that Violet and Brennan have ended up as well adjusted as they have. Relatively. I’m assuming most of that is due to their father rather than their mother.
I listen as the rest of them chatter on about their relationships—or lack thereof. It’s harder for me to focus as we get closer to the courtyard. I take a deep breath and brace myself as we get to the party, which is a refreshing mix of pale blue, cream, and navy-blue instead of just the black I’ve become accustomed to. I don’t even give much attention to the decorations that have transformed the place, except as a way to assess any threats in the immediate area. I’m not here to admire all the effort that’s been put into celebrating tonight. Everyone else may feel lighthearted tonight, but this is exactly the sort of place people like me should be wary of.
Be on guard , Deigh tells me. Rather unhelpful, really. It’s not like I could relax around this crowd.
“Tell me you’re wearing your armor under all that,” I mutter to Violet.
“You think someone is going to knife me in front of my mother?” Violet asks, gesturing to where General Sorrengail stands on the balcony.
“I think if anyone was going to knife you, now would be the time, especially knowing that killing you has a good chance of ending Fen Riorson’s son.”
I’ve been hyper aware of the glances people have been shooting my way since I entered, but Violet has been oblivious. Not surprising, since this is the sort of gathering where anyone would race to protect her if it meant favors from her mother. She’s smart enough that it doesn’t take long for her to notice, though. This isn’t anything I’m not already used to, but it’s definitely on a bigger scale with a larger amount of potential threats. Which is why I’m so tense, and it’s hard for me to hide it.
Violet hooks her arm through mine and lifts her chin and I fight the urge to smile at her small act of defiance. “I’m so sorry.”
“There is absolutely nothing for you to be sorry about.” She’s actually been one of the least biased against marked ones in the Quadrant despite her own history. Imogen may complain that Violet is hard to like, but my experience has been the opposite.
“Of course there is,” Violet whispers. I see her expression shift into one of horror. I can almost see the wheels turning in her mind, connecting her brother’s death to the same day as my parent’s. “You can go. You should go. This is…”
Violet trails off, emotions making it difficult for her to finish the sentence. Instinctively I want to protect her from the feelings of guilt she’s no doubt cycling through now, just like I wanted to with Xaden earlier. I tighten my hand over hers and say soothingly, “I go where you go.”
She simply swallows and looks around the room. She seems to be looking around pointedly, so I’m guessing she’s finally realized that I’m the only marked one here. I want to laugh again when she glares at an infantry officer staring at my relic, but I manage to stay neutral. Violet turns to me again and says, “This isn’t fair to you.”
It’s not, but it’s not her fault. And I want to make it clear to her that she doesn’t need to worry about my feelings right now. So I say, “I highly doubt you enjoy celebrating the anniversary of your brother’s death, either.”
“Brennan would hate all of this.” Violet gestures to the crowd. “He was more about getting the work done than celebrating its completion.”
“Yeah, sounds like–” I stop immediately when I realize my mistake.
Shit . As far as Violet knows, I never would have met Brennan. How would I know if what she said sounded like him or not?
I didn’t finish my sentence, though. Maybe she didn’t notice? Except she’s the most brilliant person I’ve ever met, and I wouldn’t be surprised if even something that small would have her catching on.
I stand there stiffly, heart beating in my chest, waiting. Thankfully, she’s distracted by someone approaching us.
Except when I see who it is, I’m no longer thankful. There were probably two people that I would have avoided at all costs tonight and both of them are heading straight for us. King Tauri looks as pompous as ever, and General Sorrengail as stoney as I’ve ever seen her.
“Go,” Violet hisses at me in a whisper.
And lucky me, the King and General Sorrengail also seem to be bringing General Melgren along. Yet another person who is right up there on the list of people I would do anything not to see tonight. How could I have possibly forgotten him?
“When your greatest danger approaches? I think not.” I’m actually not sure which one I mean. All three of them pose a threat to both Violet and me in one way or another.
“Your Majesty,” Violet murmurs, dropping a foot behind her and bowing her head in a practiced move that reminds me that she grew up in this sort of setting. My bow is probably insufficient in comparison, but I can’t bring myself to care. Not when it will take everything in me to keep calm right now.
“Your mother tells me you’ve bonded with not one but two exceptional dragons,” King Tauri says. Gods, just his voice makes my skin crawl.
“Yes, she is quite confident in your power,” Melgren adds. He’s looking at Violet as if she’s an object to be used rather than a person who deserves his respect, and my jaw clenches in anger. He’s not even sparing me a glance, but I honestly prefer that. Otherwise it might make it harder not to punch him in his haughty face.
“I would not say the same at this time. I’m still learning how to wield,” Violet answers, once again surprising me at how deftly she’s managing the underlying politics of this conversation. She’s as good as Xaden, and it’s not hard for me to imagine the both of them handling these situations side by side in the future.
“Don’t be so modest, daughter,” General Sorrengail says icily. To her audience, she says, “From what her professors say, they’ve only seen a gift this powerful a few times in the last decade, in Brennan and the Riorson boy.”
Violet’s lips move into a thin line, which is a telltale sign that she’s holding back from snapping at her mother. Then I’m straightening even more because King Tauri’s eyes are on me.
“And your gift?” he asks me.
None of your godsdamned business , I want to say. And I guess I do sort of say it to Deigh, because I immediately hear him growling disapprovingly in my mind, as if he’s worried I would actually say the words out loud. “Farsight, Your Majesty,” I respond instead.
Relax , I send down the bond to Deigh. I can handle my shit. He doesn’t even dignify that with a response.
Now it’s Melgren’s beady eyes that are focused on me, my relic, and then the name written on my sash. He says, “Mairi, as in Colonel Mairi’s son?”
I barely notice Violet’s supportive squeeze as I think about the best way to respond. Xaden would be so much better at this. Clearly Violet would be, too. I decide on, “Yes, General. Though I was mostly brought up by Duke Lindell at Tirvainne.”
There. Remind them of my relation to someone they trust. King Tauri takes the bait, nodding. “Yes, Duke Lindell is a good man, a loyal man.”
I somehow manage not to roll my eyes at him. But this would probably be a good time for some sucking up, right? I say, “I have him to thank for my fortitude, Majesty.”
“Yes, you do.” Melgren nods again, his gaze scanning the crowd. “Now tell me, where is the Riorson boy? I always like to lay eyes on him once a year and make sure he’s not causing trouble.”
“No trouble,” Violet answers quickly, before I can even open my mouth. “He’s our wingleader, actually. He saved my life when we were on the front lines at Montserrat.”
I think we all notice how swiftly she jumps to his defense, if her mother’s glare is any indication. General Sorrengail says, “Their dragons are mated.” As if that would explain why her daughter was offering support to Fen Riorson’s son. “So she’s grown quite close to him out of necessity.”
I wonder how they would react if I told them that getting close to him required getting entirely new bedroom furniture.
“That’s excellent.” King Tauri beams. “It’s good to have a Sorrengail on lookout for us. You’ll let us know if he decides to, oh, I don’t know.” He laughs. “Start another war?”
Ha. Fucking. Ha. What a dick.
Violet tenses beside me. “I can assure you, he’s loyal.”
I wince internally. That’s not entirely true, and I know there will be hell to pay when she finds out. But Xaden has assured me that keeping her in the dark is the safest thing for her. I don’t quite agree, but moments like this make me see the merits of shielding her from the magnitude of the rebellion. It would be harder for Violet to say that sentence straight to the King’s face if she knew about...everything.
“So where is he?” King Tauri scans the courtyard. “I asked that they all be here, all marked ones.”
As if he could force us to do anything. I’d pay good money to see him go up against Xaden. Or Garrick. Amari, Imogen may actually do the most damage.
“I just saw him a little earlier. I’d check the edges? He’s not much for parties.” Violet smiles, and I realize that maybe she could actually lie to the King. That was a very convincing one. I’ll have to give Xaden an update. Maybe I could push him towards telling her about a few smaller rebellion plans.
“Oh, look! There’s Dain Aetos!” General Sorrengail says, nodding somewhere behind my shoulder. She says to King Tauri, “He’d be so humbled if you said hello.”
Violet and I watch as they walk away, being sure never to turn our backs on the king. I can relax a bit more now, although not by much.
“I’m going to kill him for making you come to this,” Violet mutters under her breath.
I blink. I guess I never corrected her earlier when she made the comment about having the night off. Xaden doesn’t need another reason for her to be mad at him, so I say, “Xaden didn’t make me come.”
“What?” she says, surprised.
“He’d never ask this of me. Never ask it of anyone,” I say firmly. I’m hoping to get across to her just how much Xaden cares about the people he allows around him. She’s one of those people now, after all. “But I told him I would keep you safe, and that’s what I’m doing, keeping you safe.” I throw her a crooked smile to reassure her even more.
“You are a good friend, Liam Mairi.” Violet rests her head on my arm.
I want to wrap my other arm around her and pull her closer. The dark look Xaden throws at anyone who even so much as looks at her has me holding back, though. “You saved my life, Violet. The least I can do is grin and bear it through a fucking party.”
“I’m not sure I can grin and bear it,” Violet admits.
We both watch as the king says his goodbyes to Dain. Dain glances over his shoulder and starts walking over to us as soon as he meets Violet’s gaze. Compared to the little gathering I just suffered through, chatting with Dain will be a breeze. The rest of the marked ones can’t stand him, and while I find him too unbearable to be around for long periods of time, I don’t think he’s as bad as they think.
A thought I immediately take back when Dain grins and cups Violet’s cheek. “You look beautiful tonight, Vi.”
“Thank you.” Violet smiles. “You look fabulous yourself.”
Dain turns to me, his hand falling back to his side. “Has this one tried to escape yet? She’s always hated these things.”
I can barely focus on what he says, blood rushing to my ears as I remember what Xaden told me about Dain’s signet. Surely he wouldn’t have used his power on Violet just now, right? It was just a touch. A perfectly innocent touch.
I haven’t quite convinced myself as I reply, “Not yet, but the evening is young.”
Dain’s smile slips, which doesn’t assuage my fear one bit. Can he tell that I’m wondering about that skin to skin contact he just pulled? Dain says, “The staircase is about five feet to our right. I’ll distract while you slip away.”
I try to calm my racing thoughts as Violet thanks him and drags me away back to the Rider’s Quadrant. I’m pretty certain I should let Xaden know about Dain’s physical affection, but I’m not sure how to do it in a way that will keep him from killing my squad leader immediately, no questions asked. Xaden has the most control of anyone I’ve met in my life, but I’ve watched over the past few months as that control has gradually slipped when it comes to anything related to Violet Sorrengail.
I’m so lost in my thoughts that I don’t notice that we’ve stopped until Violet says, “Liam, you know I adore you, right?”
I stare at her, not expecting anything like that from her. “Well, that’s nice—”
“Go away.” Then she walks away from me without a second glance.
“What?” I say as I run to catch up to her for the second time tonight. Being her shadow is more difficult than I originally expected, not that I haven’t found the challenge entertaining. “I can’t just leave you out here by yourself.”
She’s not even focused on me, her face doing that thing that happens whenever she’s mentally communicating with Xaden. “No offense, but I can fry this entire place with a lightning bolt if I want to, and I need to see Xaden, so go.”
I stop walking, a weird mixture of relief and apprehension flooding over me. If she’s going to find Xaden, things could either go really well for them or really, really badly. Not that I would be able to stop her even if I tried. So I call after her, “I mean, your aim is shit according to you, but I get the rest!”
What now? I ask Deigh.
Now you do whatever you need to distract yourself.
I grin. Because I have just the thing in mind.
**
It’s not hard to convince Ridoc and Nadine to ditch the party to find less stuffy fun. Nadine is still going on about infantry men. Especially since, as she suspected, there’s a mob of them at the celebration. Apparently a lot of cadets are leaving the official party for the infantry camps outside Basgiath’s walls. Having nothing better in mind, we decide to join.
Rhiannon and Sawyer take a little more work, but once I bring up the idea of also stealing alcohol from the party it’s an easier sell. Rhiannon won’t pass up the challenge. Sawyer likes the idea of drinking more to let loose, which definitely isn’t going to happen while surrounded by people like King Tauri.
Sneaking the alcohol out is easy. Ridoc side-eyes me when we’re making our way outside of the infantry quadrant, our contraband strapped around our shoulders since my plan worked without a hitch. Ridoc asks, “How are you so good at smuggling? You don’t seem like the type.”
I merely shrug. Alcohol is nothing compared to the weapons we’re sneaking out of Basgiath regularly. Not that I’m doing it myself yet. But I’ve been mentally preparing since I found out what everyone else was doing, practicing making strategic plans and shielding them away.
We’re greeted at the infantry camps with open arms, especially when cadets see our contribution to the gathering. I still get a lot of looks because of my relic, but everyone is a lot more relaxed about it than they were at the celebration. Even Nadine has gotten over her bias about the marked ones tonight, which is a small miracle.
For once, I drink with my squadmates. Usually I stay alert, knowing that Xaden would want me to be aware of any threats to Violet. But since they’re currently together right now, I know I can finally let go a little bit. Which is exactly what I need tonight.
We play a drinking game that I'm pretty sure Ridoc makes up on the spot. The rules are a little vague and change a lot, but basically if anyone doesn't follow whatever the unknown rules are, they drink. The only rule that is obvious and that doesn't change is that anytime someone mentions the word "dragon", the whole table drinks. It's kind of ridiculous, but it works, and the alcohol is flowing freely.
After a few rounds of the game, lightning cracks across the sky, and the air becomes thick with energy. I don’t have to be a genius to know exactly what’s going on, and by the looks on my squadmates’ faces they’ve come to the same conclusion.
Ridoc raises his drink and grins. “To the Riorgail weather pattern.”
All four of us dissolve into a fit of laughter. The non-riders around us shoot us with odd looks, but we can't stop. Every time we calm down, one of us will burst into laughter again, and the cycle will repeat.
We finally calm down after a few minutes, although no one seems eager to return to the game we were playing. Everyone falls into an easy chatter, and I relax in my chair.
This is exactly what I needed. No politics, no stress, no worries about the rebellion or surviving this death college I’ve been thrown into.
I’m buzzed now, the world feeling pleasantly lighter and easier. I sit near one of the bonfires that have been set up, the heat of it warming my cheeks and the firelight dancing in front of me, mesmerizing.
Rhiannon comes up and sits beside me, letting her head rest on my shoulder. She sighs, and I can tell that she's feeling the alcohol more than I am by this point. "Liam. We should have been friends sooner."
I smile, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into a sideways hug. "We should have."
“Sorry I was pissed at you on Violet’s behalf for so long,” she says.
I shrug. I get it. I would have been pissed if Xaden assigned me a bodyguard, too. Then again, I may not agree with his methods of protection, but it’s not hard for me to see why he finds it necessary.
"It's not a big deal," I say.
She lifts her head, the alcohol making her eyes just a little unfocused. Like me, Rhiannon will probably never let herself completely go when she's drinking. She's too responsible for that. "Yes, it is. You're so nice. I wish you weren't. You'd make hating you a lot easier."
I snort. “I think that’s a sentiment that Violet shares with you.” I knew as soon as I started being Violet’s shadow that I would need to make some extra effort not to piss her off. She was already pissed off enough as it was. But she came around eventually, and now I’m glad we can consider ourselves friends.
By this point, Ridoc has somehow managed to get his hands on a guitar. I doubt he's as drunk as he pretends to be, but he's had enough to loosen him up. He strums the strings as he walks around, trying to find the best song to play. Most of the ones he chooses are bawdy, or ones that involve making us drink, too. He's not the best guitar player or singer, but he manages to play recognizable tunes and generally stay on key, which is all that's required for a party.
After letting him entertain us for a while, I finally decide to ask him to switch gears and play something a little more subdued since the energy surrounding the camp is finally starting to shift to a different sort of fun. Nadine is off with some infantry guy, and Sawyer is busy laughing his ass off at some joke Rhiannon said to him.
"My voice isn't good enough for that one," Ridoc admits with good humor when I request a certain song. "I can play it, but you'll have to sing it."
"Fair." I laugh, nodding in agreement.
Ridoc nods and starts strumming. The song is slower and a lot less rousing, but the tune is sweet. It's a classic song, one that anyone on the Continent would be familiar with. When the first note leaves my lips, it's like everyone stops to listen. A hush falls over the camp as they hear the words, and even a couple people stop dancing, wanting to hear the song better.
"It's not often that you hear a rider singing," Sawyer says with a smile when the song finishes.
I grin. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this comfortable around a group of people. Sure, I don’t have to pretend that there aren’t venin lurking outside the wards when I’m around the other marked ones, but there’s something to be said for being able to let go of that stress when I’m with my squad.
Then again, I think I got lucky with them. Besides Nadine, I’m almost certain that all of them would join the rebellion if they knew what was really going on. Violet included. But that would put a huge target on their backs, and the last thing I want is to drag them into something that dangerous. They’re starting to feel like family, and I would never forgive myself if anything happened to them.
It's not long before I catch the eye of a cadet in Healer robes. She's standing with a couple of other Healers a few feet from me, and she doesn't look away. In fact, the smile on her face grows wider when our eyes meet. She's pretty, with brown hair, green eyes, and a delicate face.
I grin, taking another drink of my ale. I was hoping for a distraction tonight, and she looks like she could be fun.
I don't waste any time approaching her, her eyes never leaving mine as I walk over. When I stop in front of her, she says, "You sing, too?"
"Too?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.
"I was already admiring you for your looks," she explains. "And then that voice."
I grin, a little surprised. "Thanks. What's your name?"
"Aspen," she says.
I hold out a hand. "It's nice to meet you, Aspen. I'm Liam."
Aspen takes my hand, and even through the haze of alcohol I can't help but notice the way her thumb slides against the skin of my palm. She says, "The pleasure is all mine."
"You want to go somewhere and talk?" I ask. "Or...not talk."
"I think not talking is a great idea. Come on."
I let her lead me away, ignoring the catcalls from Ridoc and Sawyer. If Violet and Xaden can have their fun, then who am I to deny myself the same pleasure? It's the first time in a long while that I feel like my actual age, and it feels good. I'm so caught up in the feeling that I don't even feel guilty about the fact that I'm not watching Violet. I'll be doing it for the next two years at least, so tonight is mine.