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The soft hum of the light fixtures in the hallway eat up at Jayce's anxious mind. It feels as if his head were going to explode.
He fumbles with his keys, hands trembling at the solitude echoing throughout the dorm complex.
It's 2:42 AM in the morning. Viktor, much to Jayce's dismay, is usually awake and has some sort of classical music, like Tchaikovsky, playing while he types up his notes and scribbles furiously in his journals.
He swears it helps him focus, but Jayce is convinced he's just trying to be pretentious to piss him off.
Jayce let's a breath out, one he didn't even realize he was holding, while the lock clicks open. He creaks inside, blood roaring in his ears.
He expects to see Viktor's lithe form curled up like a cat on their moss green loveseat surrounded by papers, while his bleary doe eyes would slowly blink up at him. They'd be soft and delirious with the lack of sleep.
Instead, the living room is empty, with all of the lights off, safe for one dimly-lit lamp.
The soft orange light dampens the mood, lulling a fuzzy, warm sensation deep into Jayce's bones.
His fingers work around his coat zipper, and he takes off his winter gear, and slips out of his boots.
His socked feet pad towards their bedroom.
He peers into the darkness of the room, only slightly illuminated by the cozy glow of the street-lamps and moonlight outside.
There's a mound of blankets hiked upwards around a small little thing, balled up at the edge of the bed. Jayce lips quirk into a grin, and he crawls into bed.
Viktor has always been a light sleeper.
Anytime Jayce would find him asleep before him, all he'd have to do was slink into bed and Viktor would startle. He'd turn around, eyes wild with confusion. Then his expression would soften, and he'd pull Jayce into his arms until they were both asleep.
This time is different. It's odd and scary, because Viktor's form stays dead and quiet, like a plank of wood. Jayce stills in fear. He focuses on listening, yearning to hear for his partner's content breathing. It's just not there.
Jayce scrambles towards Viktor's side of the bed, nearly falling to the floor.
He kneels, and searches to find his face, which is almost buried under all of his blankets.
Jayce touches Viktor's cheek, stroking the soft skin gently.
"Viktor?" He croaks, chewing his lip anxiously.
Viktor stays dormant, his expression light and soft. There's no angle to it; no furrowed brows deep in dreaming thought. There's no scowl, no remnants of pain.
Jayce exhales shakily, before raising a hand to jerk at Viktor's shoulder to attempt and wake him.
A little gasp escapes Viktor's lips as his eyes jolt open. His eyebrows twitch with fear for a single moment, before his lips melt into a sleep-drunken smile.
"Jayce." He murmurs, like it's a spell that'll keep his summoned beloved there. Like it's a prayer.
He snakes his hands out from under the covers and towards Jayce, to cup his face.
His warm, thin fingers keep Jayce's face suspended upwards, while all of the fear begins to mollify out of his body.
"I'm sorry for waking you," Jayce whispers, closing his eyes, pleasantly satisfied with the warmth radiating from Viktor's hands.
"S'fine. How's your mother?" Viktor mumbles, his accent is thick like velvet and dripping with slumber.
Right. Jayce's mother. He'd gone out of the city for four days to help his mother move into a new apartment. One with better walkability, near more accessible amenities, that he'd picked out for her. It's was only four days, but it felt like four weeks without his dormmate, even as a mama's boy.
"She's good. Likes the new place a lot." He assures.
"You look like you've seen a ghost. Did you walk by some intimidating campus goths on your way back?" Viktor smiles, rubbing the pad of his thumb tenderly between the crease of Jayce's brows.
"What? No," Jayce guffaws, "I was worried about you, it's like you weren't even breathing when I came in here," he murmurs, feeling his eyes prick with the uncomfortable sensation of tears.
It's suddenly Viktor's turn to let noises of amusement escape his nose,
"You really think I'd die in my sleep?" He laughs, like it's unimaginable, like Jayce is insane.
Meanwhile Jayce can feel a sob climb his throat. It happened only a week before Jayce had scheduled to leave to assist his mother; Viktor had suffered quite the asthma attack, and collapsed during a seminar.
_________
Jayce had always been quick on his feet when Viktor needed help. He'd help him up when his leg wouldn't budge, or pack his inhaler when he'd forget it back at their dorm. He'd even carry him out of the library on his back, when he'd fall asleep, due to his excessive workload.
But this?
Jayce could only watch in horror as Viktor's cheeks turned red, his eyes watering and his mouth agape, writhing and gasping for breath. His words were strangled, his forehead shimmering with a light sheen of sweat.
Jayce couldn't muster a movement, only an ear shattering scream, attracting mountains of attention.
Viktor had been fine, he'd only collapsed. Collapsed with his hand outstretched, like it was reaching for comfort, just out of his grasp. Jayce did nothing but watch.
Watching Viktor's wrist flopping limply over the edge of the ambulance gurney, as the paramedics team ushered him out of the campus.
The rest of that day was blurry, but Jayce swears he called Caitlin in an embarrassing fit of tears. He waited a whopping twenty-six minutes inside the library learning commons for her, sobbing.
She hugged him tightly, rambling and asking with such a worried tone, but Jayce doesn't remember what she was talking about. He just lets his tears blot into her shoulder, sniffling and trembling with worry.
_________
Jayce practically dives into Viktor's neck, shielding his view from his threatening tears and all.
He inhales Viktor's sweet, yet rich smell, deeply. Like he needs to inhale all of Viktor's scent, as if he might disappear.
"You are so dramatic," Viktor remarks, snaking his arms around Jayce's upper back. He rubs between his shoulder blades in soothing motions.
Jayce doesn't let go, only climbs up into the bed and onto his side, pushing Viktor further into the middle of the bed.
"M'not. I just care," Jayce offers, kissing a trail into Viktor's neck.
"Too much, maybe."
"No such thing as too much, V."
This makes Viktor's shoulders shake with laughter, much to Jayce's delight.
He grins, locking his lips with Viktor's, as if to reward his humorous effort.
Viktor hums sleepily into the kiss, mouth parting agape slightly, allowing their saliva to seep into each other's throats. It's hot and wet but so lovely.
When they separate, gasping for breath, Viktor quirks a brow.
"You really know how to make an entrance." Viktor mutters, his cheeks tinted pink.
Jayce rolls his eyes, and slots his head under Viktor's chin (his rightful place) and listens to his pulse by his neck.
Perhaps, it's just like a lullaby. Only a lullaby uttered by Viktor's heart. Only one Jayce gets the pleasure of hearing.
They melt into a pile of tangled limbs, and drift asleep, the slow lub-dub of their hearts drumming together into one, rhythmical beat.