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“Bunnies or rainbows?”
I gaped at Maya. “That’s like asking a mother to choose between her two children!”
“You have to answer the question,” Maya edged.
“Uhh...bunnies. No, rainbows. No wait, bunnies. Rainbows? Maya this is impossible!” I said exasperated, and put my head in my hands. We were playing a good old fashioned game of what would you prefer, and I swear Maya was trying to break me. This was just one of many difficult questions Maya had asked me, always pinning two amazing things against each other.
“Fine, fine,” Maya waved it off. “Ask me one.”
Taking my head out of my hands, I instead just placed a finger on my chin, thinking.
Coming across an idea, I said, “Ketchup or mustard?”
Maya scoffed. “As if you even have to ask! Mustard aaall the way.” She dragged out the word ‘all’ for emphasis, and then added, “Unlike you and ketchup. I mean c’mon – on macaroni? Really, Riley?”
“It’s delicious, I swear!” I laughed and Maya joined in.
“Could you excuse me for a moment, Peaches, while I slip off to the ladies room?” I tried doing a southern belle accent like the one Maya did every now and then, but I don’t think it came out very well. Nonetheless, Maya didn’t comment on my poor skills and just replied in a much better southern accent, “Why certainly doll face, but don’t be long! Cheese soufflé!” She added the last part with a dopey grin. I laughed to myself and headed down the hall to the washroom.
When I was done, I opened the door and started making my way back to my room, but stopped when I noticed something strange. Maya was in my parents’ room, hunched over the bedside table.
“Maya?” I questioned, appearing in the door frame. Maya nearly jumped, then spun around with a suspicious look on her face.
“Riley! Hey, I’ll meet you in your room in a minute. There. In your room. Go there now,” She said hurriedly.
“Maya,” I slowly approached her, very confused. “What are you doing in my parents’ bedroom?”
“I –”
And then I noticed what was in her hand – a big stack of money, held together with a rubber band. I could tell Maya saw that I had noticed, because she looked at me with guilty eyes.
“What are you doing?” I whispered, not wanting to believe my best friend was stealing from my family.
Staring me in the eyes and slowly approaching me she said, “I’m just borrowing some money, Riles. Your parents said it was ok.”
I had a hard time believing that my parents were ok with her just going through their bedside table and taking money, but I wanted to believe Maya more than anything. She would never steal from us.
“Why? Why do you need the money?” I asked tensely, anxiously waiting for a suitable answer.
“I...it’s just to help my mom pay the bills. You know, the usual. My mom worked something out with your parents.”
I really wanted to believe her, but it didn’t make any sense. Katy always refused to except any help financially from us, and it still didn’t make sense that Maya would just take the money herself from my parents’ bedroom. She was lying, and I could see it in her eyes. She was a good liar, but not good enough to fool me, someone who knew her so well.
“Why are you lying to me?” I asked, hurt by her dishonesty.
“I’m not lying,” she tried to assure me.
“Maya, you know if you needed financial help we would help you, but I can’t believe you would...steal from my own parents. My family.” My voice was beginning to get higher in volume and pitch, and I could feel my eyes growing wet. None of this made sense – Maya would never do this to us.
Maya looked taken aback. “You think I’m stealing from you?” She said incredulously.
“Maya, I know when you’re lying and –”
“You honestly think I would steal from you?” She was clearly shocked and...hurt.
“I don’t want to believe it, but you won’t tell me the truth,” I said quietly.
“The truth is...” She bit her lip. “The truth is I can’t tell you what the money is for, but you have to believe that I’m not stealing from you, you just have to trust me,” she pleaded with me.
“How can I believe you if you won’t even give me a reason?” I shrilled.
Now Maya’s eyes were tearing up, and she opened her mouth a couple times as if she was about to say something, then changed her mind. In the end, she finally said, “If you know me well enough to know when I’m lying, how come you don’t know when I’m telling the truth?”
“Maya...” I couldn’t finish what I wanted to say because I didn’t want to see her face if I told her I still thought she was lying. But it didn’t matter anyways, because she read it all on my face, and I felt like I had single-handedly destroyed my best friend.
Maya took a deep breath, and put the money down. “You know, it’s normal for a lot of people to think I’m no good; that I’m just a bad influence, and I can’t do anything right. But you...you’re supposed to know who I really am. You were supposed to be the one person I could count on to remind me that I’m not a terrible person. I guess I was wrong.”
She hastily pushed past me, and in the process, forced something into my hand. I watched in anguish as she left the building. I had broken her. I had broken my best friend. But she had tried to steal from my family...I was tormented by the state she had left in, her face all crumpled up, but at the same time, I was so angry. I didn’t know how to feel. I walked to the front door and opened it, staring down the empty hall, wondering how everything had gone wrong so fast, and if I should go after her. In the end I was back at the bay window, sitting and staring at the one thing she left me – her ring.
Maya’s POV
I raced down the hallway of the apartment building, not bothering to check if the door had completely shut behind me. I didn’t want to think about what had just happened. Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, I kept telling myself. If I didn’t think about it, maybe I wouldn’t cry anymore. Maybe I would be able to walk into my apartment, look my mom in the eyes and say everything was fine, and have her believe me. Maybe this would have all been possible, if I hadn’t thought about it. Cause goddamn it, I could stop thinking about it.
Riley, my best friend, my other half, my everything and anything, truly thought that I had stolen from her family, and wouldn’t believe me when I said I didn’t. Yes, it was true that I got into trouble more often than not, and yes it was true that I had once stolen bubble gum from a convenience store that Riley knew about. But she also knew that I was a good person, and that her family was my family. At least, I thought I was a good person. Riley was always the one who said I was. Maybe I wasn’t.
A swirl of emotions were fogging up my head. Anger, sadness, pain, regret...was that regret? Did I regret giving her back my ring? There was no doubt that giving back my ring was about the worst thing I could do to our friendship, but in the moment, I couldn’t bear to wear the ring of someone who didn’t even trust me. But now as I thought about it, my ring finger felt too bare, naked, and I already felt like a piece of me was missing. The whole situation was so messed up.
As I unlocked my apartment door and snuck in, I was relieved to find my mom wasn’t home. I hated when people saw me cry, even my mother. The only person I didn’t really mind crying in front of was Riley...fuck. I was already missing her. Still angry, but missing her. As I crossed to the bed in my room, I flopped down with a big sigh. Riley. Riley. Stop thinking about Riley. But I couldn’t – too many thoughts. Frustrated, sad, hurtful, longing, aching thoughts. All I could do was pull the blankets over my head and try to fall asleep.
***
Monday morning. The worst of all mornings. Normally made a little better by meeting Riley to go to school, her face always shining no matter how early it was, but not today. I didn’t know where Riley and I stood at the moment, and it didn’t feel right to go about the normal routine of things.
Groggily making my way to the subway, I wondered if I would see Riley at the station. The thought made me uncomfortable, but at the same time, I wanted to see her as soon as possible. Riley wasn’t at the station – at least not that I could tell – so I rode the train alone and thought about what might happen when we saw each other at school. Would we say anything? Would she just glare at me, or completely ignore me? I really couldn’t say, though I couldn’t really see Riley glaring.
After grabbing whatever things I needed from my locker, I forced myself to go to my first class. I always hated class for obvious reasons, but today it was for a different one. I nervously walked in the room, and my eyes couldn’t help but land on Riley. Should I say something? Should I apologize? While I was thinking of my options, Riley stared back at me. I stood there for a moment, staring at her staring, both my mind and my body frozen, and then briskly walked to my desk. She didn’t seem extraordinarily angry, but she did not seem too impressed with me. There was something in her eyes however that hinted that maybe she was as confused by her feelings as I was.
The day went by so slowly it was nearly agonizing, but finally, the end of the day did come, and I found myself in Mr. Matthews’ classroom.
“Maya, ready to get to work?” He said, noticing me.
“I guess if I have to,” I muttered.
A promise was a promise after all, whether I had the money or not.
“That’s the spirit!” He said cheerily, handing me a fat stack of papers.
“What am I supposed to do with these?” I gave the papers a little wave.
“Just uh, sort all the like assignments and papers together, and then I’ll file them away,” he shrugged.
I sighed heavily instead of complaining, and then got to work. Quietly we worked, neither of us saying a word. I wasn’t really in the mood for talking after the day I’d had. A full day without talking to Riley felt like a year. After a while though, I couldn’t help the gnawing feeling in my chest, and decided I had to talk.
“Mr. Matthews?”
“Yeah Maya?” He put down his papers to focus on me. Boy was it nice when someone actually dropped everything to listen to you.
“Could I talk to you about something?” I questioned, hesitantly.
“Of course,” he said.
“It’s just,” I started biting my lip – a nervous habit – “Riley and I got in a fight yesterday, and I don’t know how to fix it.” I didn’t dare look at his face; I didn’t want him to see how weak I felt.
“So that’s why you were giving each other funny looks all class,” he stated, smirking.
“This isn’t a joke,” I said seriously. “Something really bad went down between us, and I don’t know what the right thing to do is.”
He stroked his chin. “Well, I would love to meddle in your problems, you know I would. But Topanga, Topanga would not want me to do that. Could I still meddle anyways? Possibly, but Topanga knows all, trust me.” He finished his little speech with a ‘what can you do?’ look on his face. “What I can tell you, is that you two are the greatest pair of friends there ever was – except for Shawnie and I, of course – and I really believe that things will turn out okay in the end,” he said softly.
“Yeah, yeah okay,” I said, nodding a little. Mr. Matthews had never been wrong before about this kind of thing, and I sure hoped he wasn’t going to start now.
Riley’s POV
Four days. That’s how many days I hadn’t talked to Maya. The four loneliest days of my life. I missed so much about her, the smallest things. I missed holding her hand just for the extra warmth, I missed the little snort she’d make sometimes when she laughed too hard, and I even missed her sarcasm – I was never very good at it. It was hard to remember why I was even so mad at her in the first place, though of course I could never completely forget. I just didn’t know what I was supposed to do. There was a void in my life that only she could fill, that was for sure, but she still lied to me, and how could I trust her again? And did she even miss me? Maybe her giving back her ring really was final. I didn’t want to believe it but...maybe our friendship was over.
If none of that was bad enough, it also happened to be my birthday, one of my favourite days of the year. Rainbow cupcakes, balloons, chocolate chip smiley face pancakes for breakfast, all the same things this year as last, but there was no way I could enjoy them – not without Maya. Maya was the one gift I wanted.
When I got to school and walked in the classroom, I immediately looked for Maya. She was there, but she was talking to Sarah, which was odd as I didn’t think they were really friends at all. I felt a sudden pang of jealousy in my chest. Maya was my best friend, and if I wasn’t friends with her, then Sarah sure as heck shouldn’t be. I sat down at my desk in a huff, all traces of things I was going to say washed away. There was no use now – Maya clearly didn’t care. She didn’t care.
Maya’s POV
I spent most of the school day hanging out with Sarah Carpenter between classes and at lunch. I guess I was trying to fill the empty space of ‘best friend’. Sarah was...nice? I mean, she kind of just seemed really average, at least compared to Riley. Conversations with her were kind of dull, and not once did she mention anything fluffy or colourful – something I wasn’t used to. As the day went on, it just felt more and more awkward. She wasn’t Riley. Not only that, but I kept noticing that she looked strangely like me, almost like we could be sisters or something. Creepy stuff. I think I was losing it.
It was Riley’s birthday. I knew from the moment I woke up. Nearly texted her a thousand times, thought about approaching her in the hallway, even thought about writing a sappy letter. But in the end, I went the whole day without speaking to her at all, not even to wish her a happy birthday. I felt like the ultimate asshole.
When I got home after school, I walked into my room and was immediately confused about the envelope that was on my bed. I crossed the room and picked it up, carefully opening it, and pulled out $200.00. With it was a note that read, “A deal’s a deal. What you do with the money is up to you.” I stared at the little piece of paper, mouth open, and then ran out the door, money in hand.
Riley’s POV
“Do you want to open any gifts, honey?” My mom asked hopefully.
“Maya used to call me honey,” I wailed. I noticed my mom and dad exchange a concerned glance.
I sighed. “I mean, yeah sure.”
“Hon – Riley, you don’t have to do birthday stuff right now if you don’t want to,” my mom said, placing a hand on my shoulder.
“But I want to see her face when she opens the big one!” My father complained.
“Cory!” My mom snapped.
“Sorry dear,” he mumbled.
“I think I’m just going to go to my room for a bit then,” I said tiredly, and pushed back the kitchen chair.
I slumped down in my bed and stared up at the ceiling. I wondered what Maya was doing right now...but my thoughts were interrupted by a sudden face at the window, and light knocking. My eyes grew wide. I flew off the bed, and shoved open the window and there she was, eyes bright with excitement, and I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest.
“Peaches,” I whispered, and suddenly we were in each other’s arms and I could feel her warmth and her breath on my neck and I never wanted to let her go again, but I had to, at least for a moment.
Pulling back out of the hug she said breathlessly, “Happy birthday, Riles,” and her face was absolutely glowing.
“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you, how bad I’ve felt.” My voice was still barely audible.
“If it’s anything like the way I’ve been feeling, honey, then I do.” And she grabbed my hand and squeezed it, and didn’t let go.
“I am so sor –” I started but Maya put a finger to my lips.
“I need to give you your gift first.” She presented a small box in front of me, and I gaped, but wordlessly took the box and opened it. Inside the box was a gold locket – brilliant, and shiny and beautiful. But the best part was when I opened the locket, and inside was a picture of me and Maya.
“Maya it’s,” I tried not to choke on my words, “it’s amazing. But how? How could you, I mean...” I looked down, not wanting to say the exact words.
“The money your father gave me,” she said softly.
“What?” I was extremely confused.
“You thought I was stealing,” she continued in the same soft voice. “Your dad and I made a deal that I would help him organize his classroom for the next couple weeks, and in return, he would give me some money so I could buy a pretty little locket, for a pretty little girl’s birthday.”
“Maya,” my breath hitched. “You weren’t – and I –” My eyes started tearing up. “You must hate me.”
“No, no of course not!” She pulled me into her side, and stroked my hair, trying to soothe me. “I’m not mad, honey. It doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that we’re here, together again, at our perfect bay window.”
I lifted my head off her shoulder to get a really good look at her face, her beautiful face, and as if I couldn’t control myself, I leaned in and kissed her. It only took a second to realize what I was doing, and then I pulled back, worried to see the look on her face. But the only look on her face was that of shock and...amazement. I gave her a shy smile, and she returned it with a grin as glorious as the sun. Then she put her hand behind my neck and firmly pulled my lips to hers again, and we were really kissing. I could taste strawberry on her lips and it was like ecstasy, kissing her there by the window with her hand on my neck and my fingers weaving in her hair and I wondered if we would ever be able to stop. Somehow we managed, and for a moment we both sat there, absolutely breathless.
“I don’t ever want to be apart again,” she whispered, staring into the depths of my heart and soul.
“Neither do I,” I whispered back, eyes filling with tears again. Then, something occurred to me. “Hold on,” I held up a finger and walked to my dresser, rifling through one of the drawers.
“What happened to never being apart again?” She protested.
“Just a second,” I laughed, finding what I was looking for. I crossed back over to the window, and held out the ring.
“I believe this is yours,” I said.
“Would you do the honors?” She asked, putting her left hand in front of me.
“Always.” I slid the ring onto her finger, and everything in the world was right again.