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It was a beautiful day outside. Spring had been lurking just beyond the horizon for what seemed like forever, but it looked like it was finally here. The birds were singing and couples walked hand in hand, excited for the romance the warmer weather was sure to bring.
It put Todomatsu in a terrible mood.
It’s not that he didn’t enjoy spring. In fact, spring was his favorite season by far. However, instead of being outside on the most perfect day he had seen in ages, he was at work.
He wasn’t being forced to be here. Tuesday was usually his day off, but a co worker had called in and Todomatsu had volunteered to pick up the shift. He knew his paycheck would thank him later, but for now he was regretting his decision. There were a dozen things he wanted to do today and none of them involved balancing dangerously on a swivel chair to reach a bag of decaf espresso beans. They had a step ladder somewhere, but he wasn’t sure where it was at the moment and he really didn’t feel like searching for twenty minutes just so he could grab one bag of espresso beans. He managed to get safely down from the chair, beans in hand, so Totty considered it a win.
Todomatsu was making his way back to the front of the store when he heard his manager.
“Ah Karamatsu! I was beginning to think you weren’t going to show up.”
Todomatsu almost dropped the espresso beans. Surely there was more than one Karamatsu in the world. There was no way it was his brother, because he had threatened and blackmailed his brothers into promising never to set foot back in the cafe ever again.
“I bare the unfortunate burden of being a creature of habit.”
Nope, that was definitely his brother.
His whole body tensed with rage. His hand closed around the espresso beans so tightly a small part of him was worried the bag would rip.
He just wanted one thing separate from his brothers. Being the youngest of six identical brothers made it difficult to find you own place in the world. That’s the biggest reason he got this job. He wanted something that was his, not theirs. But apparently that was too much to ask, because obviously Karamatsu couldn’t do the one thing Totty asked him to do.
“The usual I suppose.” His manager said as Totty returned from the back.
Karamatsu nodded with a smile on his face as he handed him the money.
Todomatsu forced himself to smile as he went about his business. It was a perfected, natural looking smile that didn’t portray even an ounce of the irritation he felt. If there was one thing growing up with five insufferable brothers prepared him for, it was working in customer service.
As he filled the grinder with espresso beans he shot Karamatsu a very subtle look. The average cafe patron wouldn't notice anything wrong with the look, but Totty knew Karamatsu would notice, and he sincerely hoped it put the fear of God into him.
Karamatsu was frowning now. He looked almost confused, but mostly surprised to see him. It was almost as if Karamatsu had come here for a reason other than to bother his youngest brother. But Todomatsu knew that couldn’t be true. He knew better than to let his guard down around any of his brothers. Sure, they were far more dangerous in a group than as individuals, but none of them could be trusted to keep Totty’s reputation in tact.
His manager let out a low bellowing laugh. “Sometimes it’s easy to forget how identical you are until I see you both together.”
The both forced a small awkward laugh.
“I’ll leave you to finish up.” He said, leaving Totty alone with his brother.
“You don’t work on Tuesdays.” Karamatsu said, breaking the silence.
“Toshi was sick.” Todomatsu said. “Or his dog was sick. I don’t remember which.” He said with a small shrug.
“Oh my, you’ll have to send him my well wishes the next time you see him.” Karamatsu said. Todomatsu couldn’t tell if he was sincere or not. The way Karamatsu talked reminded him of those foreign soap operas he used to watch when he was home sick from school.
“Mmhm, or I could make you your coffee and you could leave.” He offered as an alternative.
“So rude Totty.” Karamatsu clutched his chest dramatically as if Totty’s words were an arrow through the heart. “Is that any way to treat your beloved brother?”
Todomatsu rolled his eyes so hard he feared they may actually roll out of his head. “What did you order?”
“Ah yes, I suppose you wouldn’t know my usual order.” Karamatsu said leaning on the counter.
“Ah yes, I suppose you would come in and bug my coworkers when I’m not here.” He replied mockingly.
“I’m shocked that you would think I would do such a thing. I am nothing if not a gentleman.”
“Ridiculous is what you are. Now, what do you want?” It was slow at the moment, but he did have things to do, things that didn’t include standing around talking to Karamatsu.
“Americano with an extra shot.” He replied.
Todomatsu raised an eyebrow. “Seriously, you want a cup of three shots of biter watered down espresso?”
Karamatsu grimaced. “It doesn’t sound nearly as appealing when you put it that way.”
“So why don’t you get a drink you’ll actually like instead of one you think makes you look cool. “ Todomatsu said.
“I do like it.” Karamatsu insisted.
“If you say so.” Todomatsu said with a sigh. If Karamatsu was sure that’s what he wanted to spend his money on, then he would make it. That’s what they paid him to do anyway. He prepared Karamatsu’s drink in a to go cup, hoping that he’d take the hint.
He didn’t.
He brought his drink over to a table in the far corner. He pulled out a book from the inside of his jacket and began reading. Todomatsu watched as Karamatsu took the first sip of his coffee, expecting a grimace that never came. Maybe his brother actually liked the bitterness.
Todomatsu let out a small huff and turned his attention back to his job. It wouldn’t pick up again for at least an hour, but if he didn’t get things cleaned and stocked while he could it would look like a battleground when the after work rush was done, and nothing stressed Todomatsu out more than a messy work environment.
He had trouble focusing as he worked. Every few minutes he glanced up at Karamatsu who continued to read and drink his coffee as if Todomatsu wasn’t there. That, for some reason, pissed Totty off. How dare his brother come into his place of employment and ignore him. Who did he think he is? Was some dusty old book better company than he was?
He considered alerting Karamatsu to this injustice, but the bell above the door rang before he could. He greeted the customers. They were both pretty, but couldn’t have been more than sixteen. Totty had no intention of dating an underage girl, but he knew their wallets were full of money that their parents gave them, and so he flirted with them as they browsed the menus. He had to stop himself from smirking as a couple of large bills found their way into the tip jar when he finished their order.
They were followed by an unpleasant middle age woman who requested he repeat her older back to her so he ‘wouldn’t mess it up again’. He was positive he had never served this women since he started here.
His manager joined him up front as they began to pick up. It was just the two of them for the time being, but they managed to handle the small rush. He glanced over at Karamatsu as he handed over the last of the orders, only to find that table empty.
Todomatsu frowned. That asshole didn’t say goodbye.
“Good job today Totty. I think you’ve got everything down by now.” The manager praised.
“Thank you.” Totty replied. “Say, does my brother come in a lot? It seemed like you knew him.” He asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.
“About the same time every Tuesday.” He responded.
“Why every Tuesday?” He questioned, more to himself than to his manager.
He shrugged before replying, “He said he had business in the area.”
What kind of business could Karamatsu have? Todomatsu wasn’t sure he wanted to know. It was probably something stupid.
His coworker arrived not too long after that and Todomatsu was free to go enjoy his day. But this spring day now had a bitter feel, for a reason he couldn't quite explain.
He was tempted to rant to the rest of his brothers about Karamatsu showing up out of the blue, but he didn’t. If they knew Karamatsu frequently went to that shop, they would likely decided that it was perfectly acceptable for them to show up there as well, and that was not okay.
Besides, Karamatsu wasn’t mentioning it, so why should he? If Karamatsu wanted to pretend that they hadn’t seen each other that was fine with him, and if Karamatsu wanted to have some secret business and didn’t want to mention it at all ever, then that was okay. Todomatsu didn’t care at all. Why should he care that Karamatsu could have his own hidden agenda, but he couldn’t even go to the gym without being interrogated?
“Geez Karamatsu, what did you do to piss Totty off so much?” Osomatsu asked.
“Yeah, he hadn’t stopped glaring at you through the whole meal.” Choromatsu chimed in.
Had he been glaring? He hadn’t noticed.
“I don’t believe I’ve done anything to cause the wrath of our dear Todomatsu.” Karamatsu replied.
Like hell he didn’t. Todomatsu wasn’t sure what Karamatsu was sneaking around every Tuesday for, but it was most likely worthy of his wrath.
“I’m not angry at Karamatsu.” Totty said. “I’m angry at whoever made that god awful shirt.”
Karamatsu looked down at the shirt in question. Nobody should unironically own a shirt with their own face on it, let alone one that sparkles.
“I made this shirt.” Karamatsu said.
“Then I take back what I said earlier. I’m mad at Karamatsu.” He said, taking a bit of his dinner.
Karamatsu looked more shocked and offended than he should’ve been. He should’ve expected this when he chose to wear that shirt.
The others snickered, except Ichimatsu, who looked unimpressed.
“So he didn’t actually do anything to you?” Ichimatsu asked, not sounding particularly invested in the conversation, but Todomatsu knew better.
He pouted. He and Ichimatsu had always bonded over teasing Karamatsu. It was the one thing they would always see eye to eye on, but lately Ichimatsu seemed almost reluctant to join in. Todomatsu wasn’t sure if the other’s had noticed. The insults were still there, but the spite wasn’t. It was like he didn’t actually want to insult Karamatsu. In fact, he seemed almost protective of their second oldest brother.
It was possible that Totty was imagining things. Ichimatsu’s words could be venomous some days. Even Todomatsu thought he could take things too far. Not that Totty wasn’t guilty of doing the same. Maybe Jyushimatsu had asked him to tone it back?
“I suppose I’m more angry at his lack of fashion sense” Todomatsu said, crossing his arms across his chest.
“I understand what the problem is!” Karamatsu exclaimed. “You’re jealous of my potential as a designer and are upset that you yourself do not own this one of a kind Karamatsu original, but have no fear brother.” Karamatsu pulled a nearly identical shirt seemingly out of thin air. This pink sequin monstrosity had Karamatsu’s face plastered on the front, staring mockingly at Todomatsu from behind his signature shades.
“K-Karamatsu, run.” Choromatsu said, seeing Todomatsu’s hands clench into fists.
To suggest Todomatsu would ever wear such a thing, he had never been so offended in his entire life.
“Huh?” Karamatsu was confused and oblivious to the fact that his brother was now seething with rage.
“Jyushimatsu, get him out of here.” Osomatsu said.
Without warning, Jyushimatsu threw Karamatsu over his shoulder. “Let’s-a go, nii-san!” He shouted and bolted out of the room before Totty could get his hands on him.
“Wait! Where are we going?! Jyushimatsu!!” Karamatsu’s voice faded as the pair headed off.
He wasn’t going to kill him, Todomatsu had assured them after he calmed down. He was just going to shove that damn shirt so far down his throat that it would come out his ass like the shit it was, but he didn’t tell them that.
Jyushimatsu returned alone, giving no indication as to where Karamatsu was.
“You didn’t hide him somewhere and he can’t get out, did you?” Choromatsu asked.
“Nope! He’ll be home in a bit. He said ‘The stars make me feel poetic’.” He posed, imitating Karamatsu’s voice, and that was the end of that conversation. No one was going to look for Karamatsu if he was feeling poetic. They weren’t going to subject themselves to that painful display.
Todomatsu prepared for bed and tried not to think about the emptiness beside him as he laid in bed that night.
“Totty move over.”
Todomatsu groaned and buried his face into a pillow that he only vaguely realized was not soft enough to his. He didn’t even want to know what time it was, he just wanted to go back to sleep.
He felt a gentle push, so he rolled over. This pillow was much better.
He felt another body wiggle under the covers next to him.
“Karamatsu?” He questioned.
“Go back to sleep Totty.”
Totty wrinkled his nose. “You smell like menthol cigarettes.”
“I was out of mine so I took Choromatsu’s.” He explained.
“I thought he quit smoking.” Todomatsu said with a yawn.
“He hides his cigarettes in the flower pot outside and sneaks them when he thinks we’re not home.” He said with a soft chuckle.
“He thinks he’s better than us.” Totty said, already drifting back to sleep.
“He’s trying to quit. It’s not an easy process. I’m glad you never started.”
“Me too.” Totty felt Karamatsu’s fingers run through his hair, lulling him back to sleep like he used to do when they were kids and Totty had a nightmare.
He didn’t notice that Karamatsu was still wide awake as he drifted back to sleep.
This plan was almost a week in the making, Todomatsu was not going to let the wrong pair of shoes ruin it. His pink toms would really complete this outfit, but on the off chance he’d be doing any running, his vans would be better. He didn’t think he’d be doing enough running to need his athletic shoes, besides all of his athletic clothing was in the wash, and gym shoes without gym clothes wouldn’t work for it. It would be a dead give away that he was up to something.
He finally decided on his vans and put them on quickly. He could hear Karamatsu saying goodbye to whoever was in the living room. If he didn’t hurry he’d lose him.
Todomatsu threw on a light jacket and went toward the front door.
“You’re wearing your stakeout shoes.” Choromatsu observed before he could slip out unnoticed.
Todomatsu rolled his eyes. “I don’t have stake out shoes.”
“You wear those whenever we follow people.”
“I wear them other times too!” He insisted. He didn’t have time for this.
“Whatever, have fun stalking I guess.” Choromatsu said, turning his attention back to his magazine.
He let the house without a response and glanced around. Karamatsu was a comfortable distance away. If Totty was careful he wouldn’t be spotted. Karamatsu had his headphones and seemed to be lost in thought, and it wasn’t like he was expecting to be followed. He might be able to make it through the day without Karamatsu knowing that Totty was there.
There walk lead them to a park. It was a nice park, the kind that probably had it’s own grounds keeper, and people who came by regularly to pick up trash. Well groomed people walked by with equally well groomed guys, followed by people in expensive suits and briefcases, and a group of attractive men and women jogging.
Totty felt a twinge of homesickness for a life he didn’t have. Seeing all these people made it easy to picture himself here.
But what did Karamatsu want in a place like this? Leave it to Karamatsu to go to the mark to try and find ‘Karamatsu girls’ and call it business. He couldn’t appreciate the beauty of a place like this. He wouldn’t understand Todomatsu’s connection to this lifestyle, or how he yearned for just a taste of how it felt to be an individual and not just one of six.
Karamatsu wasn’t even looking at the beautiful women in the park, and there were quite a few of him. He seems to be deliberately keeping his eyes down. It was funny to watch someone who usually craved the attention and acceptance of everyone he was around try so hard not to be seen.
Karamatsu kept walking until he crossed the street and entered a professional looking building. Totty stopped on the other side of the street just on the edge of the park. That was unexpected. He hadn’t really thought that Karamatsu was going somewhere, let alone somewhere that looked important.
Todomatsu sat down on a bench facing the building. It didn’t look like the type of building one could follow their brother into. He was quite sure what the building was at tall. It reminded him of the marriage counselor's office that he wasn’t supposed to know his parents were seeing.
He took out his phone and did a quick search for ‘Alternative Services’ which was printed on the tinted window in sleek gold letters. He was expecting it to be a secret brothel or possibly a music shop, something that screamed Karamatsu, but he ended up on a website with a light blue background with a picture of a older woman with her hair pulled back into a tight bun. Toru Kanahana M.D. Psychiatrist.
Totty frowned as he read through the page. Why was Karamatsu here? This definitely provided Totty with more questions than answers, which only left one option. He would have to wait out here until Karamatsu could tell him. After all, that’s what his brother’s would do to him.
So Totty waited and waited. He beat his high score on Candy Crush and was taking a moment to browse his social media accounts when he heard a voice.
“What are you doing here?”
Todomatsu looked up from his phone to see Karamatsu. He looked tired to say the least. His eyes were red and slightly puffy like he had been crying. He seemed to notice Todomatsu seeing this because he slipped his glasses out of his pocket and put them on.
“I could ask you the same question.” Totty replied.
“Did you follow me?” Karamatsu asked in a tense voice.
“I had to.” Totty reasoned. “You were being secretive, and after all there’s no secrets between brothers.”
Karamatsu didn’t respond. Totty couldn’t even tell if he was looking at him from behind those shades.
“So what were you doing there?” He asked.
“Can we talk later, brother?” Karamatsu asked. “I promise I’ll answer any question you have in your heart, but for now I’m just...tired.” Karamatsu began walking in the direction of home. Todomatsu jumped up from the bench and followed.
“Do you have some secret secretary job? Or maybe they’re studying you to find the cure for your painfulness.” Totty teased.
Karamatsu winced as if his words had smacked him across the face.
“Todomatsu.” He said, his voice was almost pleasing for the other to stop.
“No, I got it. You have a thing for older women don’t you? I bet that doctor is your girlfriend and you’re so tired because you let her have her way with you while she’s at work so her husband doesn’t find out.” Totty laughed as he spoke. He didn’t believe the words he was saying, it was too ridiculous to even think about, but it was amusing to see the tips of Karamatsu’s ears turn red.
Karamatsu stopped walking. “I’m a patient.” He said quietly.
“Totty’s laughter died down. “What was that?” He asked, not sure that he heard him correctly.
“I’m a patient.” He repeated a bit louder.
“Why?”
Karamatsu let the question hang in the air for a bit. Todomatsu almost regretted asking the question. Sure he wanted to know, but Karamatsu was acting strange. He opened and closed his mouth a couple times, as if he was trying to speak, but the words didn’t come out.
“Because I have depression.” His voice was low and serious. There was no room for misinterpreting what he said as a joke.
Todomatsu’s stomach dropped and shame crept through his body.
Oh.
Oh shit.
He was an asshole.
“I don’t believe it.” He said in a hushed voice. He couldn’t find the strength to speak any louder.
“If you don’t believe me, you can ask Ichimatsu. He knows my medication schedule better than I do by this point. You could go talk to my psychiatrist I suppose, since you know where she is, but she’s not technically allowed to tell you anything.” Karamatsu rambled as he wrapped his arms around himself.
“No I believe you. I just don’t believe it.” He attempted to clarify. “Since when?”
“I don’t know, a while? I can’t exactly pinpoint an exact date.” Karamatsu looked uncomfortable. Todomatsu couldn’t blame him. They were standing in the middle of a crowded sidewalk as faceless strangers walked passed them. This was not the best place to have this discussion. Karamatsu looked more vulnerable than Todomatsu had ever seen him.
“I think I could convince my coworkers to get us some free drinks.” Totty said. “I think, I think we have some things to talk about.”
Karamatsu seemed to take a moment to consider his offer. Todomatsu half expected to be turned down. He had followed Karamatsu and uncovered something he obviously wasn’t ready to share. He agreed though, and followed Todomatsu to the cafe and the two didn’t speak again until Todomatsu sat his drink down in front of him.
“So Ichimatsu knows?” Todomatsu asked as he sat down. That would explain a few things.
“He found out on accident. Mom knows too, and now you, but no one else.” He said as he watched the steam rise from his mug.
“And you take medication and see a psychiatrist?”
Karamatsu nodded and blew carefully on his drink before taking a sip.
“Is there anything else I should know?” Todomatsu didn’t know how to wrap his head around this. He knew that he and his brothers kept things from each other. They did have their own lives, but this was major. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, it made him see Karamatsu in a different light. It was almost he was a different person.
“Nothing comes to mind.” Todomatsu wished his brother would take off those damn shades and look him in the eye.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” This wasn’t like Totty not telling them he got a job. This was life changingly important, and Karamatsu did seem to care at all. He was being far too casual. “I mean, how were we supposed to know? You act to happy all the time. If you were upset you could’ve just told us.”
“Being depressed and being upset are different.” Karamatsu said. “It’s not like I failed a test and suddenly became depressed.” Karamatsu sounded frustrated, which was odd for him. Karamatsu was patient. He was the one who manage to sit down with Jyushimatsu and help him pass high school literature. Even Choromatsu had given up.
“And don’t think that my happiness is an act.” He added firmly. “Being depressed is not being sad 24/7.”
“You still should have told us.” Todomatsu said.
“That’s not your choice. It’s mine.” Karamatsu replied.
“Why did you choose not to?” He said, raising his voice. Karamatsu seemed stunned for the moment. Totty was calm and collected. He had a certain facade that he showed the world, and it had cracked just a little.
“I wasn’t sure you would have cared.” He said. with his head down.
Ouch. He had said you, not you guys. That comment was meant for Totty and Totty alone. He knew he could be mean, but did his brother really think he wouldn’t care about him. If anything this conversation was proving that he did care.
“You’re my brother. Of course I care.” Totty said.
“You didn’t care when I fell of the roof.”
“You fell off the roof?”
Crap. That was the wrong thing to say. Karamatsu started sobbing. Wait, no, not sobbing, laughing. But Totty could see tears slide down his cheeks. Oh god, his brother had lost his mind.
“I’m sorry.” Karamatsu said through his laughter. “Nothing about this situation is funny. I just, don’t know what to say to make you feel better.”
Totty frowned. “This isn’t about me.” He said, perhaps for the first time ever.
“It’s difficult to have this conversation. It’s not the type of thing one can bring up over supper. Everyone needs to hear the same information, but with different words. I don’t know which words to use for you Totty. I’ve never felt that you hate me, but I know we do not have the strongest of brotherly bonds. So yes, it is about you.”
That made sense, but that didn’t mean it was easy to hear. Karamatsu hadn’t been ready to tell him. This hadn’t been a heart to heart that helped them become closer. This had been an interrogation. Todomatsu had forced him into this uncomfortable position, and yet Karamatsu was still thinking about him first. That wasn’t right. If Karamatsu put Todomatsu first, and Todomatsu put himself first, then who was watching out for Karamatsu?
“You need to do something for you.” Todomatsu told him.
“I do.” Karamatsu insisted. “I play guitar. I stargaze. I write poetry.”
Totty knew that Karamatsu was trying to make him feel better, but he was doing just the opposite. Those were all things that he made fun of Karamatsu for liking. They made him happy and Todomatsu had a habit of shitting all over them. He felt very heavy all of a sudden, like he had to shoulder the guilt of everything he had ever done. He knew he could be selfish and a bit of an asshole, especially to his brothers, but he never considered himself to be a bad person, until now. He tried not to show it. If Karamatsu knew how Totty felt bad, then he would in turn feel worse.
“I also come here. I like the aroma of coffee, and the ambiance of it all. It’s very calming.” He continued.
“Is that why you come here after your appointments?”
“Baring your heart and soul to another is very tasking on one’s emotions. So, I stop and refuel before I go home.” He said.
It’s hard to act like nothings wrong when you’re emotionally exhausted. Karamatsu hadn’t said that, but Totty was smart. He could read between the lines. He was pretending for his own sake as well as theirs. Karamatsu had told him that being depressed didn’t mean he was always sad, but he could only imagine what a bad day meant for him. Totty knew he must have been the cause of some of those bad days.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not depressed because you pick on me Totty.” He said, almost teasingly. Totty was a little surprised, but then he remembered something. He must have already had a similar conversation with Ichimatsu.
“I know, it’s just, I’m sorry.” What else could he say? He couldn’t say it’s okay, because it’s not okay.
“If you guys had treated me differently, nothing would’ve changed. I’d still be the way I am. One cannot change what fate has written.” Karamatsu smiled his most charming smile. Not the one he used when he was trying to hit on people, but the one he had only for people he really cared about.
Damn him. Todomatsu’s eyes burned as he tried to hold back his tears. He didn’t want to cry here. His coworkers would see and he didn’t want to explain what happened the next time he worked.
Karamatsu didn’t give himself nearly enough credit. He found the right words to say with no problem at all.
“We should get home. If we’re out any longer, our brothers would think we left on a fabulous adventure without them.” Karamatsu said standing.
Todomatsu snorted. “If they think that they’re delusional.” He said as he stood as well. He quickly wiped away the small tears at the corners of his eyes before he waved goodbye to his co workers and headed out.
Karamatsu rambled on about nothing important the entire way home. Todomatsu kept his mouth shut and let him. As unbearable as his older brother could be, he owed him.
The other’s were asleep, but Todomatsu wasn’t tired. He sat on the living room floor hugging his knees to his chest as he cried. He didn’t want anyone to see him, especially Karamatsu. There was nothing he could do to change the past. He had no idea how he was suppose to make things better in the future. He was completely helpless, and scared, and so very selfish. His tears weren’t even for Karamatsu, they were for his own guilty conscience. He may not have been the cause of Karamatsu’s depression, but he hadn’t done a great job convincing his brother that he had a life worth living. Karamatsu hadn’t even been sure Todomatsu would care that he was suffering from depression. Had he also thought Totty wouldn’t care if he had died?
The thought cause him to cry harder. He was the worst brother ever.
He hadn’t heard anyone enter the room, but he felt someone else sit down beside him.
“Karamatsu would be pissed if he found out you’re crying ‘cause of him.” Ichimatsu said.
“It’s a good thing neither of us are going to tell him.” He said, his voice hoarse.
Ichimatsu offered him a box of tissues. Totty took one and blew his nose. He knew he didn’t look cute at all right now. He was glad it was only Ichimatsu to see him while he was such a mess.
“So what do we do?” Todomatsu asked.
“He doesn’t want us to do anything.” Ichimatsu shrugged.
“We can’t do nothing.” Totty said. “I’m honestly surprised he didn’t think I hated him. Everyone else did.”
“Did you?”
“Of course not.” Totty glared at him. “He pissed me off, but I could never really hate him.” Totty was quiet for a bit. “I just don’t want to be the reason he’s upset anymore.” He admitted.
“Then don’t.” Ichimatsu said, but that was easier said than done.
Todomatsu would have to try, for Karamatsu’s sake. He was going to be more careful about what he said. He was going to change.
He had to.