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Roy stared at the kitchen, looking over the prep work that he and Jamie spent the whole day doing. There was something missing. The roast beef was marinating, potatoes cut and ready to roast and-
What was he missing? He gasped as he felt cold hands wrap around his waist, sneaking under his shirt as Jamie tugged him back against his chest.
“Roy…”
“Hm?”
“It’s nearly midnight, you should be sleeping,” Jamie murmured, kissing his neck softly. Normally, Roy would melt into him when he started doing that but right now Roy stayed tense, his shoulders nearly at his ears.
“We’re forgetting something,” Roy said aloud, pushing away from Jamie to go to the fridge. He threw the door open looking for it, for whatever that thing was that was missing.
Jamie sighed heavily, throwing himself onto the island. “Roy, babe-”
“Don’t ‘babe’ me,” Roy growled. It was a warning growl and Jamie could hear it in his voice. This wasn’t just idle anxiety.
It wasn’t exactly surprising. This Christmas would be their first together as a couple. Since getting together in March, the two had been inseparable- well, more inseparable than they already were.
They agreed to wait to make anything too official until after the season, neither of them wanting to be distracted from the task at hand. Though when the team finished 5th in the league (even though they were knocked from the Champions league), they were able to celebrate with a week-long relaxing vacation in Marbella.
Before the beginning of the next season, they’d let Rebecca know, filed all the paperwork and made sure everything was handled. Jamie moved in with Roy soon after; he basically already lived at Roy’s house, so it was easier.
Things weren’t always easy. There were a lot of tough spots in both of their lives, stemming from insecurity and fear. But Roy kept his promise and he never ran, even if he really, really wanted to. But anytime he thought about it, he got a flash of the crumbling look on Jamie’s face as he left him after the dinner at his parent’s house and it was enough to make him stay. He never wanted to cause Jamie that pain again.
Jamie was the one who suggested the family dinner on Christmas but once Roy got into the planning of it, he couldn’t stop. Everything from the menu, to the seating arrangements, to the decorations on the tree. It wasn’t a huge gathering, just Ruth and Phoebe along with Georgie and Simon. Jamie asked if he wanted to invite Roy’s parents but they hadn’t had any contact with them since that night.
But Roy could still feel them. Staring at this make-believe family that Roy had found with as much disapproval as possible. He flinched slightly when Jamie’s hand made contact with his skin again, but this time they dug into the tense muscles in his shoulders.
“Roy, everything is perfect,” Jamie soothed.
Roy hummed, softening the growl from before. Roy closed the fridge and sighed heavily.
“What if– fucking– I don’t know– I don’t know something goes wrong?” His voice took on a whine that Roy hated hearing. He hated sounding so insecure, especially in front of Jamie, but Jamie didn’t even bat an eye.
“Tell me what could go wrong.” Jamie gently spun Roy around so they were facing each other. Roy finally had to face that stupid fucking grin on his face, lit perfectly in the dim glow of the Christmas lights that decorated the house. “Go on, old man, tell me what woes you.”
Roy wished he could roll his eyes fondly but he couldn’t, instead he pushed past Jamie and walked into the living room. The living room was picturesque; tiny lights decorated the mantel with a tree decorated to perfection; Phoebe’s work, of course.
“We’re forgetting something,” Roy repeated.
Jamie groaned loudly as he came down to flop on the couch in front of him. He rubbed his eyes as he looked up at Roy. It was frustrating how he could distract Roy with such a simple movement.
“C’mere,” Jamie reached out his hand and pulled Roy to lay down with him. Roy let himself be pulled, curling into Jamie’s side as Jamie wrapped his arms around Roy’s torso. “Tell me what we forgot and I’ll fix it right now.”
Roy grumbled, not finding an answer. Just an unsettling feeling that seemed to unwind with every swipe of Jamie’s hand against his back.
“I just…” Roy trailed off.
Jamie smirked and looked down at him. “Go on then, Royo, express an emotion.”
Roy flicked Jamie’s ear, repressing his smile as he snuggled in closer to Jamie.
“I want it to be perfect.” Roy’s admission was so soft. He’d never acted like a sappy, scared, little boy before. But Jamie was different.
In all honesty, Roy had never had a real relationship before. He didn’t do teenage flings, he dated celebrities publicly and made a name for himself, but this thing he had with Jamie was real. He didn’t want to lose this. He held onto Jamie a little tighter.
“Hey,” Jamie murmured, shaking Roy slightly. “It’s going to be perfect because it’s going to be us, and the people we love, and fucking presents. And none of the rest of it matters. Yeah?” Roy nodded, looking up at Jamie. “And if it’s shit then I’ll blow you in the bathroom.”
“Alright.” Roy pushed Jamie off the couch, sending him tumbling to the carpeted floor.
“Oi!”
“Let’s get back to bed.” Roy sat up and stepped over Jamie. Roy started off but quickly was pulled back as Jamie caught up to him.
“Hey.” Jamie tugged Roy back towards him. “It’s going to be great.” He nodded at Roy, smiling softly, pressing his forehead against Roy’s.
Roy let out a breath and nodded, closing his eyes. “Thank you.”
Jamie pressed a kiss to Roy’s lips before leading him back to bed. He tucked him in tightly and let Roy rest his head on Jamie’s chest for the night.
***
“Uncle Jamie!”
Phoebe’s voice came flooding through the house as the front door opened. Jamie ran to meet her, scooping her up into a twirl.
“Happy Christmas, Pheebes!” Jamie squeezed her tightly.
“And what am I, then?” Roy grumbled, coming around the corner, adorned in his Santa hat.
Phoebe squealed with laughter and squirmed out of Jamie’s arms to grab Roy’s torso. Roy bent over to wrap her up in a hug, smiling at Jamie over her shoulder.
“A little help, please?” Ruth’s voice called from outside.
Jamie ran off to help her, leaving Roy as he hoisted Phoebe up to rest her on his hip.
“How goes it, Ruth,” Jamie greeted, grabbing some bags out of her hands.
“Oh you know-” She paused to give Jamie a kiss on the cheek. “It’s Christmas morning.”
Jamie chuckled in response, closing the door behind them as they walked into the main room where Roy and Phoebe were pointing out all the presents under the tree.
“Uncle Roy, mum says that Santa brought some of my gifts to your house,” Phoebe pondered. “But did you leave out any cookies for him?”
Jamie swooped in and grabbed onto Phoebe from behind. “I tried to but Uncle Roy ate them all.”
Phoebe gave her Uncle a serious look, almost disappointed.
“Uncle Roy!”
“Oi! I distinctly remember your Uncle Jamie also having quite a few of those cookies,” Roy defended, shooting Jamie a glare.
They were interrupted by another knock on the door and Jamie shot up to race towards the door.
“That’ll be Georgie,” Roy said, groaning as he stood up. “C’mon Phoebe.”
Phoebe took his hand and skipped along into the kitchen.
“Happy Christmas Mummy!” Jamie grinned, grabbing his mother in a big hug.
“Oh, my sexy little baby!” Georgie cried, smiling brightly into her son’s shoulder. “Happy Christmas, my darling.” Jamie lifted her up and began carrying her inside. “Oh! Jamie put me down this instant and help your stepfather.”
Jamie squeezed her one last time before setting her down to run out and help Simon. Georgie chuckled as she continued inside to find Roy.
“Hello, Georgie,” Roy greeted, giving her a kiss on the cheek.
“Hello, Roy, it’s lovely to see you,” Georgie returned. “Happy Christmas, oh and there’s the beauty!”
“Nana Georgie!” Phoebe squealed, running up to grab her around the middle.
“Have you been a good girl this year?” Georige asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Oh, yes!”
“Hah, sure,” Roy quipped.
Phoebe frowned. “I have been, Uncle Roy, tell her!”
Georgie laughed and shook her head, reaching down to grab Phoebe’s hand. “I don’t need your grumpy uncle to tell me how good you’ve been, sweet thing.”
***
The room was a dim glow by the time they sat down for dinner. The sun was just starting to set, sending a warm glow through the windows. Roy sat next to Jamie, an arm over Jamie’s chair watching as he captivated the room with his storytelling.
“And I swear to god, he looked like a hairy Loch Ness Monster!”
The table laughed, except for Phoebe who seemed enchanted by the fairy lights that Jamie had strung around the room. Everything had been perfect, the whole day had been filled with laughter and smiles. Not a single hitch; whatever Roy seemed to have forgotten had been washed away in the joy of the day.
“This roast beef is delicious,” Georgie chimed in. “Roy, you've outdone yourself.”
Roy smiled but slid his hand over Jamie’s shoulder. “That was all Jamie, actually.”
“Oh, Jamie, this is a Bourdain recipe isn’t it,” Simon praised. “Very well done, lad.”
Jamie blushed and ducked his head. “Ah, it’s nothing.”
“It’s really not,” Ruth said. “This is really good, Jamie.”
Roy smirked, knowing how Ruth liked to make him squirm. The table continued to shout out their praises of the meal when the doorbell rang.
“Oh, look, gotta get that!” Jamie jumped up, excited for an excuse to leave the table. “Probably carolers or Santa coming back to give us more presents for this one.” He tickled Phoebe’s sides, her giggles filling the air before he walked off.
“This has been so wonderful, Roy, thank you for having us over.” Georgie reached over and grabbed his hand.
“I wish I could say it was me but, as per usual, it was all him,” Roy answered. He knew he looked stupid with love, but the truth was he was. “It’s always him.”
Ruth hummed. “You know, if I didn’t know you better, big brother, I’d say you were in love.”
Georgie and Simon joined in with some coos of their own and Roy’s own blush deepened.
“Uncle Roy, are you going to get married to Uncle Jamie?” Phoebe asked. It was an innocent question. One that Roy had been asking himself a lot recently. He and Jamie had fit very well together. Even when they fought neither of them had ever even contemplated ending things. Roy opened his mouth to respond when–
“Hey Roy!” Jamie’s voice called from the other room. “Would you come here for a sec?”
Roy excused himself to stand up, ignoring the pointed looks from the adults as he went to join Jamie. He couldn’t tell what Jamie would need him for, maybe they wanted a donation or something. But what he wasn’t expecting was his parents.
His mother and father, standing at the front door, staring at Jamie.
“Wh-what–”
“Roy, just–”
“No, why are you here?” Roy grabbed Jamie’s arm and pulled him back behind himself.
“Roy, it’s fine–”
“No, Jamie it’s not,” Roy snapped. “What are you two doing here?”
His parents. His fucking parents. Not a word from them in months and they had the audacity to show up at his house on fucking Christmas.
His mother stepped forward first. She had a gift in her hands and a guarded but sympathetic look on her face.
“Happy Christmas, Leroy,” Naomi said softly. Roy didn’t respond. Jamie squeezed his hip softly. “We, that is, your father and–” She tugged Eli forward. “We wanted to come see you today.”
She nudged his father pointedly. Eli stared at Roy, and Roy stared back. Eli cleared his throat and shifted back and forth. He didn’t remember a time ever thinking his father was nervous but right now, it was evident all over his face.
“Leroy…er– Roy,” Eli Spoke. “I wanted to…I wanted to tell you that I–” Eli stopped, his voice breaking over his words.
Roy shook his head. “You don’t get to do this.”
“Roy, let him talk,” Jamie murmured in his ear.
Roy looked over his shoulder incredulously at Jamie. “Let him talk? After everything he said about us, what he said about you?”
Jamie didn’t flinch at his harsh tone, just nodded. He reached down and grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently. Roy sighed through his nose before turning back to his parents.
“Five minutes,” he decided.
He met his father’s eyes again, nodding for him to continue.
“Listen, son, I… I wanted to say how sorry I am.”
Roy had thought about this moment every single day since that night in March. His father apologizes to him and to Jamie. Patching things up. Having his parents back. But now it was happening for real.
“And Jamie, you too, I was… wrong,” Eli continued. “I was out of line. Roy, I love you. We both love you.” Eli turned to Naomi who nodded in support. “And I’m sorry.”
Roy doesn’t speak. He wonders if he’s vibrating or if it’s just the blood rushing in his head. Of all the things he was worried about, this scenario had never even crossed his mind. His hand squeezed Jamie’s tightly; he was wondering if he still had blood left in it. Naomi cleared her throat and motioned to the gift.
“Oh, yes, Jamie,” Eli continued, turning away from Roy for the first time. “We, I mean, Naomi made you this.”
She handed the gift to Jamie who slowly removed his hand from Roy’s grasp to take it. He opened it to reveal a knitted shirt with the letter ‘J’ on it. Roy’s breath hitched, a tickle in the back of his mind reminding him of his own shirt and the one his sister had as well.
“Thank you,” Jamie said, sincerely. “This is beautiful.”
“Give us a moment,” Roy blurted. Jamie looked over at him, eyebrow raised.
Roy gently closed the door, taking a breath, finally. His parents were still standing on the other side of the door, probably confused as hell, but he needed a second.
“Roy, babe,” Jamie started slowly. “When you said you thought we were forgetting something, I didn’t think you meant your parent’s invitation.”
Roy scoffed. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends. Jamie reached up and linked his hand with Roy’s, pulling it out of his hair.
“Hey, talk to me.”
Roy shook his head looking down. “I just… What if they’re just saying what I want to hear? What if they don’t mean it?”
Jamie pulled Roy into a hug. Roy let out a breath and tucked his face into Jamie’s shoulder. He didn’t realize he’d been missing his parents until they were standing right in front of him. His whole life, his parents had been a thing in the rearview mirror. He didn’t just miss the parents standing outside the door, he missed the parents he’d left behind when he was going to Sunderland. He missed the parents that made him their whole world when he was first born. He yearned for parents who treated him like a child, instead of a responsibility.
“You know… we can send them away, if you want.” Jamie spoke carefully, not letting him go. “But… you have a father on your doorstep apologizing to you. Like a real apology. Not some half-assed promise to be better.” This time Roy pulled away. He hadn’t even thought–fucking asshole he was– about the fact that Jamie’s own father would never be here apologizing for anything.
“Jamie–”
“I can’t get into it right now, Roy, I really can’t but… it’s Christmas.”
Roy nodded, squeezing Jamie’s hands. He turned and opened the door. His parents were chatting softly as well, probably having a similar conversation when he opened the door.
“We were just sitting down for dinner,” Roy told them. “Would you like to join us?” His mother’s eyes lit up with excitement as she nodded quickly. He glanced at his father who seemed to sag forward in relief. “Come in. Jamie, will you go–”
“Getting the table settings right now.”
Roy helped his parents inside, taking off their jackets to throw in the closet. When he turned around it was just his father.
“Roy I–” Eli stopped, catching himself. He took a step forward, wrapping Roy in a hug. Now Roy was not very liberal with physical touch. There were certain people he made exceptions for. Phoebe, Keeley, Jamie, of course, but his father had never been a hugger. But right now, the hug felt like just what he needed. Roy let himself be held by his father, comforted in a way he’d never felt before.
“Roy are you– oh.”
Roy and Eli jumped away from each other, brushing themselves off.
“We’re fine, Jamie, just putting up the coats,” Roy answered, walking quickly towards him. Jamie wore a shit-eating grin as he waited for Eli to catch up before walking them both into the dining room.
Things were a little tense at first. Georgie being the hardest to sway into niceties against the man who had hurt her son so badly. But soon enough, they were chatting away about childhoods and presents and the Boxing Day game.
The game the next day did mean they weren’t able to host too late, Roy insisting Jamie get in bed by nine for a full night's rest. They said their farewells early, Jamie hanging onto his mother for as long as possible before sending her away to her hotel for overnight.
As Roy was helping Phoebe back into Ruth’s car, he couldn’t help but notice Jamie and his parents talking in the porch light. Jamie had a smile on his face, Roy’s mother gripping his hands in his and Eli’s hand on his back as they chatted.
“That went well,” Ruth said, once Phoebe was safely locked into her seat. “Did you plan that?”
“Fuck, no.”
“That’s a pound, Uncle Roy,” Phoebe’s muted voice came from inside the car.
Roy rolled his eyes. “But… It was nice.”
“We haven’t had a family Christmas since, when, you were just starting at Chelsea, yeah?” Ruth continued.
Roy nodded. “That was the year we’d won the title. And were halfway through another great season. I thought I’d finally done something to make dad proud of me.” Roy shook his head. “But he just told me I could work on my left hook.”
Ruth laughed, getting Roy to chuckle along with her. “Your left hook did get better after that.”
“Fuck yeah it did but… I didn’t want to risk him saying nothing so I didn’t–couldn’t have another one. Not without him.” Roy nodded to where Jamie was still entertaining his parents. “He got me to let them in. Would've sent them packing otherwise.”
Ruth looped her arm with Roy’s. “I’m glad you let them in.”
She rested her head on his shoulder as they both watched as Jamie gave Naomi a real hug and Eli a proper handshake before the two of them began to walk towards their car. Then it was the four of them. Ruth and Roy and their mum and dad.
“Kids…” Eli nodded, acknowledging.
Ruth and Roy glanced at each other, smirking silently as they both moved forward to say goodbye.
“I love you, mum, love you dad,” Ruth said as she squeezed her parents.
Roy hung back, waiting for the two of them to say their goodbyes to Ruth before stepping forward to kiss his mother on the cheek.
“I–” He cleared his throat, surprised by the emotion in his voice. “I’m glad you came.”
“I’m glad you let us in, son,” Naomi replied, kissing his cheek. “Happy Christmas.”
“Happy Christmas.”
Roy stood on the driveway as Ruth and his parents pulled away. He felt himself unsure of all the emotions going on in his head.
“C’mon Royo,” Jamie’s voice appeared beside him. “You did good.” Jamie wrapped Roy’s arm around his back as they made their way back towards the house. “Oh! I figured out what we were forgetting!”
“What’s that?”
Jamie brought them to a stop in the doorway, flitting his eyes upwards. There, hanging on the doorway, was a bundle of mistletoe.
“You’re fucking joking.”
“Nope, and rules are rules, you know.”
Roy shook his head but he smiled. “Alright, c’mere.”
He tugged Jamie towards him and sealed his lips over Jamie’s. Jamie hummed in contentment, wrapping arms around Roy’s waist as Roy tilted his head to deepen the kiss. It’s true what they say, wherever you find love, it feels like Christmas.