Work Text:
“Good afternoon, everyone.”
“Good afternoon.”
“The theme for this meeting was high on your demands, as it causes many of your worries. It is ‘from what age on it is adequate to make ships with characters’. Without further ado, let’s get started with the discussion. Would someone like to speak first?”
“Here, please.”
“Go ahead.”
“In my opinion, characters under the age of 12 shouldn’t be shipped. I say that due to that being around the age when puberty starts. Before puberty, no one even cares about these things.”
“Yeah, I think that’s very valid.”
“One moment, please. What about age differences? What should we do? If it’s from 12 on, are you saying perhaps it’s adequate to ship that character with someone much older? Entering puberty and being interested in romance and sex don’t mean that is the right thing to do. Please review that.”
“I concur. If they’re close in age, then, it’s okay. 12 and 13, or 12 and 14, or 12 and 15. As long as the youngest one is 12, and the oldest is younger than 18—”
“Wait. 15? 16? Even 17?! Don’t you think the age gap is too big?”
“That isn’t allowed in my country. The law only allows age gaps between teens from 12 on, and if the difference is three years or less.”
“Three? It’s two years where I live.”
“And where I live, doing anything to anyone if you’re below 16 is forbidden.”
“Okay, then. Let’s set the minimum age as 16. We can only ship characters if they’re 16 and above. Nothing below. Is that fine?”
“I’m sorry to intrude, but I’ll have to disagree. Why is that you have that necessity of having the characters be below 18?”
“What do you mean? Didn’t you have any crushes before 18?”
“Not my question. Why depict that? Are you attracted to teenagers? Would you pursue romance with someone who’s 16 or 17?”
“No, but…”
“‘But’? That’s how it starts.”
“Okay, I take back what I said. The characters have to be 18 and above for us to ship them. Absolutely no ships of characters who are above 18 with characters below 18. Is that better?”
“What if their age difference is one year? 17 and 18. They could be in the same classroom.”
“Rules are rules.”
“There’s a thing… It sounds like an easy solution. May I speak?”
“Sure, sure.”
“What if we could ship two characters who are below 18…”
“Uh-huh.”
“But it’s them in the future? Like, when they’re older. Already as adults.”
“I think it’s a good idea, honestly. 18 is a legal age for dating and getting married in almost all countries, right?”
“…”
“So we can ship characters who are originally kids or teens, as long as it’s their future selves? Can I call it a day?”
“Here, please. May I give my opinion? I don’t think that would be right.”
“On what basis are you saying that?”
“Doesn’t it look to you like making the time pass is an excuse? After all, if you ship their future selves, that means you ship their present selves, too.”
“What do you mean? I don’t think I get it.”
“What I mean is, you would ship their present selves if that wasn’t wrong. You’re just saying it’s their future selves so you don’t get flack from us. But we’re not stupid, we know why.”
“Can I say something else? It’s fanfiction, right? These characters are originally from another work, created by someone else. The original author gave the characters ages. It’s only fair if we follow their canon age. Only the author can make the time pass. You’re simply a fan.”
“So if the author makes the character age, then, it’s okay to ship their ADULT selves with one another. Hmm, that makes sense.”
“But…”
“What now?”
“If the character first appeared as a kid, isn’t that like. Weird?”
“What is weird about it? I don’t follow.”
“I mean, it’s uncomfortable to me, you know? Even if the canon author aged the character… See? I still picture the character the way they first appeared.”
“Well, that’s true. Me too. What if the canon author aged the character because they themselves want to ship that character with someone?”
“That means they would ship the kid character, too. They’re just finding excuses to avoid criticism.”
“That gives me the worst feeling. What if the canon author is attracted to their character ever since the character was young? And then ages the character just to put them in a ship. That’s just… yikes, right?”
“Aging up a character is weird, full stop. It doesn’t matter if the canon author did it. Once the character is a kid, they’re always a kid to me.”
“How are we telling that to the canon authors, then?”
“Erm… I don’t know. They’re always so busy… Honestly, does it matter? They’re famous. They’re not going to listen to us.”
“It’s easier if we start raising awareness in fanfiction. The change can start from here, and get to the canon authors eventually.”
“For a better world?”
“For a better world.”
“Okay, but how do we go about shipping characters that were introduced as adults?”
“Huh. What’s the issue?”
“Doesn’t that mean we’re sexualizing the child they once were?”
“…Darn. I haven’t thought about it like that.”
“I think we have to go back to the minimum age of 18 and review it…”
“There are characters who were ‘born ready’, though.”
“Every character introduced as an adult in canon was born ready. I don’t really get your point.”
“No, I mean. Situations like ‘an artificial lifeform’ that was born with the body and mind of an adult. They were never children. You cannot sexualize the child they were if they were never a child.”
“If they were born recently, they are zero years old. Body and mind don’t matter. The age still counts. Zero years old is a kid. A baby!”
“Do we have to wait for those to be 18, too?”
“I think that’s proper.”
“That means they are going to have a childhood of sorts, in the body of an adult. How does that work with them among other kids? Are you placing them in schools? What if that artificial lifeform does something to the kids?”
“Artificial lifeforms like that don’t exist.”
“Guys, guys, guys. One thing has been bothering me since the beginning. May I say what it is? I know the meeting has been going for long now, and I apologize, but…”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Isn’t it wrong to, like. Ship by itself?”
“Wait. Why?”
“You don’t know if that’s what the characters would want.”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“Imagine if someone was setting you up with your friend. It feels like that to me. Even worse if it’s with your enemy! Perhaps, someone you don’t even know. How would you feel?”
“Do we have to ask the characters, then? How do we do that?”
“That isn’t possible, of course. We have to ask the canon author if we can.”
“But… The author isn’t the character. They just made the character.”
“Asking the author if that character would accept being in that ship.”
“Is it wrong to ship pairings that aren’t canon?”
“No, that’s not it. We ask if the pairing could be canon.”
“What if the show is ongoing? Is the author going to spoil us? Some are contractually forbidden to.”
“What if it’s, like, a TV show? And the producers change their minds? The author wanted it, but the channel didn’t let them…”
“Don’t ask difficult questions.”