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Tim was oh-so-tired. In fact, not tired, but absolutely exhausted. Exhausted beyond simple body sleepiness and dehydrated beyond needing water anymore.
He had just woken up from an approximately ten hour nap and sleepily wandered downstairs to collect a SevenUp from the fridge, even if he thought they tasted something akin to overly sugary liquid liquorice, in an effort to wake himself up before he inevitably crashed into a dreamless sleep again. Sleep was really one of the greatest cards that life had ever had the pleasure to give Tim, and he was very keen to get to place it down again during one of the little off-days he let himself have.
The only problem was that when he opened the chunky fridge door smoothly with a small hiss, he was put directly in the eyesight of the idiotic, blind pair themselves - Dick and Roy, the prized Titans who seemed to somehow lose brain cells while around each other like a pair of hyperactive puppies only more fidgety, perched precariously next to each other on their velvety couch. Honestly, Tim had no idea how they hadn’t realised that they loved each other yet and he was very much considering slapping their heads together to find out if their skulls clanked like coconuts and they’d finally realise that their feelings towards each other were very much mutual.
Sometimes, it really was exhausting to be so observant.
It was with that thought in mind that he turned his attention back to the fridge, bored eyes scanning the food-stocked shelves without much purpose. The smell of raw meat made his face curdle with discomfort and he reached up to push the pound of steak further backwards, pulling it back violently when it touched something mushy as if surrounded by some kind of styrofoam. Letting out a groan, he carefully forced his eyes far away from the something in order to instead rifle through the bottom shelf that was completely stocked in an assortment of colourful, metallic cans.
He scanned them for his wanted SevenUp, rolling right over Jason’s Doctor Pepper like it was natural before blinking harshly and flashing back to them. Ignoring the sound of shuffling beside him, Tim quickly found himself silently judging his elder brother once again, eyebrows furrowing as he tried to figure out why there were so many flavors. Why would anyone possibly want to drink Lime Doctor Pepper?
Sorry, anyone normal because Jason was very clearly several degrees separated from being normal. The thought somehow got worse when Tim found himself staring eye-to-eye at a Pepsi flavored Doctor Pepper. Now that just seemed like a lawsuit waiting to happen, but who was he to judge? After all, his ex girlfriend saw his little brother as her little brother; clearly they were all a little abnormal.
Their nighttime activities really didn’t help in the slightest like Kon liked to remind Tim over and over again. Test tube babies and their snark.
Snorting quietly to himself, he finally managed to locate his beloved drink and trailed his fingertips over the moist can delicately, grinning at the smooth feeling of an undented metal surface. The drink was basically calling to him like a bubbly siren and he was oh-so weak to its silky calling, eagerly tightening his grip around it. He snapped it open with slender fingers, barely noticing how the cold made old scars ache slightly as he preoccupied himself with pulling it up to his mouth to take a small but dainty sip.
It tasted almost peppermint-like and he huffed cheerfully, soaking it in like a sponge. While it wasn’t his favourite drink, SevenUp was good at giving him a reason to keep him awake, mostly because there was no way that he could drink more than fifteen minuscule sips in an hour due to the overpowering pols of sugar that had been shovelled into the drink like a King’s grave. The taste was disgustingly fruity at times, but still good enough to keep him hooked enough to actually drink it. Like syrup on a pancake, the liquid would cascade down his throat to soothe every bit of him aching for hydration and it made him feel slightly warm inside, alongside a slight sense of shame at how desperate he was for this. In other words, it was great.
His great high of euphoria was immediately squashed when he looked up comfortably, just to make direct eye contact with the very uncomfortable sight of Roy freaking Harper straddling his older brother’s lap like a cowboy on a horse, a far cry from how safe they had been before in their side-to-side positions where they were half leaning on each other. Eyes wide, Tim’s jaw fell open to gape at the couple like a fish, cold can nearly slipping out of his grip; it was only thanks to his Batman-trained instincts that he didn’t let his beloved drink slip and disrupt the … unique atmosphere in the room with a loud clatter that would probably strip him of all his dignity on the spot.
However, Dick clearly had no such qualms considering that he was so comfortable with his supposed best friend perched on his lap, kissing him desperately like a man starved. It was almost interesting if it wasn’t for the fact that the very sight of it made Tim want to curl over and vomit up his meager lunch. Yes, he knew that they liked each other and logically, he knew that his siblings had dated before and so, this was more than natural.
But on the other hand, he did not want to see his eldest brother in this position in their shared living room! This is why people had locks on their rooms!! Privacy!!!
Eyes stuck on the sight before him, he let out a mental groan. The polite thing to do would be to simply walk away and pretend like he hadn’t seen anything because it was likely that it was a huge leap in their relationship and any minuscule mistakes could lead to both of them skittering away like scared, hurt mice. This was important to him and Tim wouldn’t be able to stomach the guilt if he threw away something that Dick’s been dreaming about for the better part of the past few years.
But all he could do was stare at the pair with wide, bloodshot eyes, fingers pressing harshly into the can until it threatened to explode, completely unable to force his limbs to move even in the slightest. Honestly, it was starting to hurt with how tense his muscles were, but he couldn’t do anything about it except for swallow down the saliva that started building up in his mouth - a nervous tic from his childhood that he had never really been able to shake off.
It took him two whole minutes to finally rip his eyes away from the horrendous sight before him, fingers still flexing uncomfortably. He had long given up on drinking the can and was instead trying to make himself walk away from the situation, but he found himself completely unable to, like watching a bad car crash on the motorway. Though, he mused, he would feel much better about interrupting a car crash than interrupting whatever this was going to erupt into. In fact, if he was a worse man, he would be snapping pictures of this right now and… yeah, he was definitely a worse man.
Pulling out his phone, Tim grinned impishly as he pulled up camera mode and quickly zoomed in to focus on the pair’s matching smiles as they looked at each other, ensuring that the flash was off before taking the photo with the usual excitement that blossomed inside of him every time he took a good photo. He pulled back slightly to admire it, ignoring the part of him that mourned his lack of mechanical camera in order to focus properly on the photo.
The photo had managed to catch the amount of pining in the couple’s eyes, light shining slightly on Dick’s fingers that were tangled in Roy’s dark ginger hair like a lifeline. In Tim’s humble opinion, the photo was perfect and sure to pay off; unless this didn’t work out and the photo would become Dick’s new source of anguish, which already sounded insufferable.
Another high squeak from the sofa pulled Tim’s eyes back towards the couple, nose scrunching up at the sight of Roy now cradling his brother’s cheek lovingly as they pulled away from their making out only to stare at each other like dying soldiers in a war movie. It was disgustingly romantic the way that Dick’s fingers were curled possessively into his friend’s hip bones, nails digging slightly into his skin without putting too much pressure until it bled.
It was less romantic when his scarred fingers hooked themselves into his belt loops and started pulling Roy’s trousers down, much to Tim’s complete horror. For a whole two seconds, he found himself still unable to move, his terribly short and totally uneventful life flashing before the eyes as he quickly realised the sight about to greet him was going to haunt him in his deepest slumber; fortunately, that’s when Tim’s grip on his delicate can finally slipped and it clattered to the ground with a thunderous racket that could pull the dead out of the grave.
Roy and Dick both flinched violently enough to lose their hold on each other, Roy’s mouth forming an o sound as his head snapped up to make awkward eye contact with a still gaping Tim. Dick’s panicked choking went unnoticed by the two, matching pairs of horrified eyes far more interested in attempting to apologise profusely - at least, Roy was. Tim was far more focused on himself, scrubbing desperately at his imagination to avoid it from expanding upon the cut off scene. Shrieking internally, he managed to force his jaw shut and simply nod numbly, gaze beginning to scan them in an attempt to purify his soul from the hell he had barely avoided by a hair.
It was a miracle that he didn’t fall to the ground in shock, mind whirring to remain focused on analysing the pair. They both looked comfortable curled into each other even considering the circumstances, somehow breathing in unison. Honestly? It was kinda creepy in a sense, but it provided enough distraction so that Tim wouldn’t already be planning on where to get the bleach he would pour in his own eyes anymore. It’s the small victories in life.
Letting his head fall to his chest, he groaned loudly in a futile attempt to drown out the whispering that had started between the two; he wasn’t loud enough to cover up Roy’s snap of “I didn’t know he was here!!” before Dick huffed in the way he always did when he was about to start up a useless argument. Therefore, it was time for Tim to leave as quickly as possible, spinning on his heels to march out towards his room with large, slightly panicked strides.
Not before he grabbed another can of SevenUp though.