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The request made sense, and Nezha was too injured to realize he should have lied.
A nurse came into his room after he had started to stabilize, something that was pretty common. His injuries were extensive to say the least, and despite insisting he was fine, the heavenly realm decided to be absurdly cautious, and the prince was practically bound to his bed while he recovered.
Likely the only reason he got such treatment was that he was the only one injured. Everyone else was a little shaken up, but none of them had much beyond superficial scrapes. A few cuts and bruises, but nothing fatal.
On the other hand, the Lotus Prince wasn’t nearly so lucky. And that's not even taking into account the worst cases of magical exhaustion that has been seen in years.
Needless to say his assurances that he was going to be fine we're pretty much entirely ignored. Especially considering that for the first few hours it was a little touch and go, with a few doctors not even certain he was going to survive.
Still, they did understand that he didn’t appreciate a lot of doting, so when he got more stable they started to give him some space.
But every two hours or so a nurse came in to check on him, sometimes tending to his injuries, sometimes giving him meds. But mostly just to talk.
So when the new nurse came in, Nezha thought nothing of it. Even when she started rambling.
“You don’t have to answer anything of course.” She told him with a smile, clicking her pen. “But we’re trying to get a better picture of what happened. You were the only one who was never taken into the scrolls, so we’d like to interview you about what happened.”
It made perfect sense. Why wouldn’t they want to know what happened? So Nezha told her.
He told her everything.
Literally everything.
And then some.
Looking back the prince is pretty certain the mix of meds and potions he was on somehow loosened his tongue. If they hadn't there’s no way Nezha would have opened his guts so openly with such little prompting.
Everything he said was true of course. How the death of the Jade emperor was his fault, how he should have fought till his last breath, shouldn’t have let himself be dragged away. How every night he stays awake, thinking about what he could have done better, and how he could have saved him.
It was all his fault.
Surely she should have known this, but for some reason the nurse went a little pale. Perhaps his bluntness threw her off, because Nezha could think of no other explanation for her sudden shift in demeanor.
“From what I heard, the entire army was overpowered.” She hesitated, tapping her clipboard nervously. “There was nothing anyone could have done.”
“Perhaps.” Nezha conseeds, hands gripping his sheets. “But it doesn’t matter. I am a soldier, and I was the only one still there. It should have been my duty to either save him, or die. I did neither. I am surprised that the high courts haven’t seen fit to remedy that yet.”
Her breath hitches slightly, so slightly that Nezha can’t be certain he didn’t imagine it. “Surely you don’t mean that?”
He sighs. “Perhaps not.” With all the drugs his head was slightly foggy. It was hard to think. “I am a prince after all. Maybe they are afraid of the scandal it may cause. Still, I would not cause any problems if they deemed such actions necessary.”
She laughs, high pitched and awkward. Nezha finds it odd. But then she clears her throat. “I’m sorry, I took too long! I was told not to ask questions for over 30 minutes, and it’s been almost an hour. The doctor was worried about me tiring you out” She stands abruptly. “I must let you rest now.”
“No it’s ok.” Nezha tells her softly. “I can still answer questions.”
“I don’t want to get in trouble.” She says quickly, looking a little pale. But then she pauses. “Someone will come in tomorrow and finish up the questions, Prince Nezha.”
He nodded, said goodbye, and went back to bed. All in all the prince didn’t think much of the conversation. In fact he didn’t even remember it all that clearly.
The nurse wasn’t wrong, he was exhausted far more easily than he had any right to be, but still. Nezha felt a little bad about her deciding to cut it short.
He could have stayed awake a little longer.
Though just as she said, the very next day, a different spirit came in to finish up the questioning.
Nezha recognized her. She was a doctor, one of the head doctors, and was frequently on the battlefield.
Why was she coming to see him?
“Hello Prince Nezha.” She smiled warmly. “Terribly sorry about this, I just need to finish up your interview. I heard it went a little over.”
“It’s not a big deal.” He mutters, dragging himself up. “What do you need to know?”
If it was at all possible, her questions were ever weirder than the last interviewers. Have you been struggling lately? Are you hiding any pain you’re in? Have you been having trouble sleeping or eating?
Honestly, how was Nezha supposed to answer that?
At the end she seemed to pick up on his confusion, and started to wrap things up. “Ok, thank you for your patience, though I have one more question.” She laughed slightly. “More for my own curiosity than anything, but this is the last one, I promise.”
The prince gave a short nod. He was tired, but he could answer a few more questions.
“Have you thought of any way you could have saved the Jade Emperor?”
He blinked, but shook his head. “No, I haven’t.”
“But you said you’d go back anyway?”
Nezha smiles, but it's weak and sad. “Of course I would.” His breath hitches. “I was his soldier, I swore an oath to protect him. even if I couldn’t save him, I should have died trying.”
The interviewer frowns. “I see.” She sighs, and stands. “That’s all I need. Get some rest.” The doctors tucks the blankets over him, before turning off the lights and leaving.
Once again, Nezha fell asleep quite quickly, still exhausted, still recovering, not thinking much of the odd conversation.
But when he wakes up, the doctors are acting rather odd.
They were gentle, even more so than before. When he asked questions he never seemed to get a direct answer, and they seemed very cautious about any of the medication or potions they gave him, never letting it out of their sight.
The prince didn’t make anything of it at first. He didn’t really have the energy to think too hard. But only a few days did it click how odd their behavior was.
“Did something happen?” Nezha remembers asking one of the doctors. “The palace healers have been rather cautious these past few days. Has their been a change?”
The doctor laughed awkwardly. It sounded forced. “Nothing has happened, Prince Nezha. We’ve just noticed that your condition is a bit more serious than we realized, so we’re being cautious.”
This confused the prince. “My condition hasn’t worsened. As I have told you several times before I am fine.”
The doctor pursed his lips. “Well that’s good. We still have to be careful though. But don’t worry. Once you’re well enough the council will determine how to handle your recovery.”
“I should be well enough to go back to my duties in a month.” Nezha pointed out. Why would the council have any interest in such a short time period? They should have far more important concerns, considering they were just a makeshift collection of the most powerful Gods, desperately trying to keep everything afloat in the absence of the Jade Emperor.
Something that was entirely his fault.
Once again the doctor hesitates. “Well, they want to speak to you as soon as you’re well enough to see them.”
Of course. It was time for Nezha to face the music. The consequences for his actions.
No matter what punishment they gave him, Nezha would not put up a fight. Whatever it is, he will have deserved it.
The doctor says they want to talk later, but Nezha is well enough to walk. As soon as he leaves the room the prince cleans himself up, and heads out the door to go find the council.
Though perhaps he slightly overestimated how recovered he was. Even such a walk, one that was barely three miles, left him breathless.
When he arrived at the council hall a servant saw him and went pale. “Prince Nezha! What are you doing!” They rushed to his side, grabbed him by the elbow, and led him to a chair. “You should be recovering! It’s barely been a week, and we all know how badly you were injured.”
“I’m fine.” He reassures, but the servant just frowns.
“No, you’re still terribly ill and weak. Your legs were shaking! What in the Heaven’s do you need? Why are you so far from the healing rooms? Surely you could have sent someone else or waited.”
“The council requested to see me.”
The servant seems concerned. “Are you certain? That doesn’t quite sound right.”
The prince nods. “Yes it is. Has their session ended?” Usually the sessions go late, well after sunset. They should still be there. “If it has and they’ve gone home, I can return tomorrow.”
“No, no!” The servant says quickly. “The meeting is still going, I was just surprised. Wait here my prince, I will tell them you’ve come early, and then I’ll come back and fetch you. But do not strain yourself.” They bow deeply, before scurrying off.
Their demeanor was a little odd, but perhaps they were just high strung from the recent invasion.
Though Nezha was plenty happy to rest his legs, even if his weakness was frustrating.
He had no right to be so frail, and yet here he was, barely able to walk.
It’s not a cold day, but the prince shivers anyway. He could not say why he was shivering, but he was and it was annoying.
Luckily he did not need to wait very long. The servant came rushing back, still with a startled expression, and a guard by his side. Probably to make sure Nezha didn’t cause any issues.
He would not of course, but Nezha could not blame them for the caution either.
“Prince Nezha, the council wasn’t expecting you,” The servant chuckles nervously, “But they’ve made themselves ready quite quickly.”
The prince frowns, his shivering even more noticeable when he stands. “They did summon me. Why would they not expect me?”
The guard quickly takes off his cloak and drapes it over Nezha. It does little to help. “They didn’t expect you’d be well enough to come here immediately.” Then he gently takes Nezha’s arm in his hands and guides the prince forward, carrying a bit of his weight. Probably to make sure Nezha won’t run.
Even if he was capable of it, he was not going to run. Nezha failed and it was his duty to accept the punishment for such acts. He would not run away like a coward.
Like he had done before.
Of course once they arrive at the council chambers, instead of letting him go, the guard escorts him to an empty seat while the servant rushes forward, bows deeply, and ounces his arrival.
“May I present Prince Nezha; the third Lotus prince”
“You may be dismissed.” Li Jing, Nezha’s father, replies flatly. Nezha swallows and adverts his eyes as he sits down; he was in front of his father. Yes he is about to be executed, but that's no excuse for such frailty and weakness.
Quickly he tears off his cloak. “Here is your cloak, soldier.”
The man glances over at the other council members, and hesitates. “If you have a chill you should keep it, Prince Nezha.”
“The air in here is warmer; I will be fine.” He insists, somewhat harshly. The air was not cold inside or out; he was not cold, just shivering, though even he didn’t know why.
“My prince, I insist. Keep the cloak.”
“And I insist-”
“If my son does not wish to take your cloak then do not force him!” His father snaps, demeanor as sharp and unwelcoming as ever.
Nezha had to suppress a flinch; the guard was not able to.
“Of-of course, General Li Jing.” He blurts out quickly, before immediately rushing out of the room, fumbling with his cloak.
Finally after he left, Li Jing sighed, and softened. “You’d think they would know when they’re unwanted. Especially when told explicitly to leave.”
“Come now Li Jing.” the Tianhuang emperor chuckles softly behind his hand. “The guardsmen care deeply for your child; take it as a sign of respect.”
“If they knew anything about my son,” Li Jing grumbled, “Then they would know that when he requests to be left alone, then he desires to be left alone.”
Though his tone was harsh, the sentiment was true.
Nezha finally looks around the room to see who had attended the meeting, and if he were not already stark white, he would have paled.
Every single member of the six- or now five, heavenly ministers. Tianhuang of course, but also The Emperor of the North Star, the Empress of Earth, King Father of the West, and the Queen Mother of the East.
“Good evening, Heavenly council.” He bowed deeply in his seat, before turning to Li Jing. “Father.”
Li Jing raised an eyebrow, but Nezha’s message was clear;
Li Jing, for all his ambition and pride, was not a member of the heavenly court; he did not belong here. It was a slight against his status, and his pride.
And yet, he did not return the challenge, as was typical for their interactions. Instead he continued on. “We heard you were deeply injured in the battle and would be unable to speak on the matter of what happened during the battle for quite a long time. Is this untrue?”
“Yes father.” He nods gently, averting his eyes. “The healers overstated the severity of my injuries.”
“You still look like you could have used a few more days of rest.” The Emperor of the North Star said, soft and measured.
“There is no reason to waste more resources or time.” Nezha replies, lifting his eyes up, and staring straight ahead. “I am well aware of the punishment for failing to protect the Jade Emperor.”
The room was quiet for a moment or two, before the Empress of Earth spoke up. “Nezha, I believe you were misinformed about why we sent a summons.”
Specifically why you wished to see me, only that you did.”
“Oh that's odd.” Tianhuang notes “I’m pretty sure we informed the messenger about that.”
“We most certainly did.” The Queen Mother of the East says, voice so soft it's barely a whisper.
“I was told by a doctor, who was sparse on details.” Nezha explains. “If I misunderstood, I apologize.”
“Oh it’s alright! Poor thing!” The King Father of the West said; though those around the table were far more constrained in their emotion, they nodded and mumbled in agreement. “We just want to know about the events of the battle, and the aftermath.”
“Ah.” Nezha noted. “Forgive me. I have not had a chance to fill out a report yet. As soon as I return to my chambers-”
“Cut the dramatics.” Li Jing scolded, tone his regular, harsh one. “Stick to the answers.”
“I am paying proper respects to the Heavenly Council; as their rank is owed. Father.”
“Your respects are not wanted, son.”
“Ok, ok.” Tianhuang chuckles obviously. Nezha also notes a slight bit of discomfort on the other “Let's get back to the topic at hand, shall we?”
Nezha wasn’t sure what the discomfort was about, this was just how he and his father spoke. But he nodded regardless. “I am here now to answer your questions. What would you like to know?”
“We are aware there was a weapon the brotherhood used to capture soldiers.” The Queen Mother of the East starts. “How did you avoid being captured?”
“I’m not certain.” He confesses. “I suspect it has something to do with the mortals who arrived shortly after most of the heavenly realm fled. Though I’m not sure why they were either unwilling or unable to use the scroll on them.”
Li Jing raises his head up ever so slightly. No one else would notice, but this was a sign of, if not pleasure or pride, at least expectation. Nezha’s answer was satisfying enough.
“But they fought you anyway, yes?” She prompts. “And injured you rather severely according to the reports?”
“Forgive me, I attempted to fight-”
“Stick to the facts.” Li Jing snapped coldly.
Nezha bites his lip. “Yes father.” Then he looks back up at the heavenly council. “Yes, I fought the bird Peng, and then after most men had either fled or been captured Azure Lion started to fight me instead. He attempted to capture me with his scrolls but was unable to before I was injured so severely. Then the mortals arrived and he did not attempt to use his scroll again.”
The Emperor of the North Star nods. “Understood. And when you realized you were too injured to continue guarding, did you flee with the mortals?”
Nezha winces at the accusation. “No, Emperor. The Monkey Kid arrived and joined the group. He attempted to fight Azure, then to talk him down. Both failed, and he teleported his friends away. I was close to the group and mistakenly taken along with them, and was unable to return.”
“Mistakenly?” Tianhuang questions. “Return?”
Nezha starts to stutter.
Li Jing glares in warning.
“I- yes. Mistakenly. I intended to fight until my last breath, as is the expectation. I had no intention of fleeing like-”
“Nezha.” Li Jing growled.
Right. “Yes, forgive me father; I meant to, but I didn’t, so it is not relevant.” He apologizes. “I was unable to return before the Jade Emperor was…” His breath wavers “assassinated. I then remained with the mortals and the monkey kid. They planned to lure the Brotherhood to them and then separate them. I do not know what happened during the fight, now how Azure died.”
“However you were able to suppress the Jade Emporers, correct?” The Queen Mother of the East asks, expression unreadable.
Nezha hesitates, then nods. “It is a temporary solution. But yes.”
The Queen Mother continues “So all your injuries, they were sustained in the original battle?”
“I believe so.”
“You did or didn’t?” Li Jing demands. “It is an objective question, not one about belief. Were all your injuries sustained in the battle, or were you in some other altercation that caused more injuries? Speak directly.”
Nezha huffs, but his father has a point. Ignoring the discomfort of the Heavenly council, he speaks “All my initial injuries were caused in the initial battle, however they were worsened by suppressing the Jade Emperor's power.”
Li Jing was hardly pleased with this, but he accepted the answer. “Then you should have stated that.”
“Well, father,” Nezha bit back. “It's an accurate enough statement, considering that the information is irrelevant and unnecessary to the conversation at hand.”
“This is the Heavenly council. If they ask the question then, it is relevant.”
“Is the Heavenly council a council of doctors?”
“Uh, boys, perhaps-” Tianhuang started awkwardly, but Li Jing had to get in a few more words.
“Where is this disrespect coming from?”
“Please, father, it's hardly the first time.”
“Disrespect to me, I can tolerate. But the Heavenly Council is asking about your health and wellbeing; the least you could do is answer honestly.” Then he softens, but only slightly. “The questions are asked in earnest.”
“The questions are unnecessary.” Then he turns from his father to face the council. “If you are asking about my injuries to assess whether I have been injured enough to avoid punishment for my failures in protecting the Jade Emperor all I say is this; The fact that I am still alive and he is not is proof enough I wasn’t. So punish me as would be fit for my indiscretions.”
The council table goes awkwardly quiet. Even Li Jing pales slightly, though it would not be noticeable to someone who is not as close as Nezha.
Queen Mother of the East chuckles nervously, losing composure for a minute, before raising a hand to cover her mouth. “Pardon me.”
Finally, after more awkward silence, The Emperor of the North Star speaks up. “Perhaps I am misunderstanding what you are saying; Are you telling us that you expect some sort of punishment?”
“Treason is hardly something that can go unpunished.”
“TREASON!” Li Jing shouts, shooting up. “Who is speaking of treason? Who dares accuse my son of treason!”
“Calm yourself father.” Nezha replies sternly. “No one has to make an accusation for what we all know. Failure in such a monumental way is effectively the same; and should be punished accordingly.”
“Ok ok!” It’s now the King Father of the West’s turn to stand. “No one is being punished, and no one is being charged with treason.” After a few moments he takes a deep breath. “We just want an accurate picture of what happened, and you are the only one who could provide that.” Then he hesitates.
Before he can speak again, the Queen Mother of the East picks up the conversation. “We received a concerning report, from one of the doctors-”
As quick as the wind, the double doors. A soldier rushes in, panicked and out of breath. “Heavenly council! There’s an emergency!”
Nezha stands up now, still shaking. “An emergency? Are we under attack? I’ll go find my armour-”
“Absolutely not!” Li Jing shouts “You’re in no state to-” Then he looks at the soldiers face, and pauses. “Whats wrong?”
The soldier was looking at Nezha, face stark white. “Nezha?”
“Yes?” He questions.
“I- forgive me, there- I- there must have been a miscommunication. Clearly everything is fine-”
“When why come barging in screaming about an emergency?” Li Jing growled. “Clearly something is the matter, and you’ve wasted enough time to not tell us what the matter is!”
The soldier swallows, eyes not looking away from Nezha. “The head doctor claimed that Nezha was missing, and suspected he was kidnapped.”
“Kidnapped? That's absurd.” Nezha sighs. “Why would he ever think that?”
The soldier swallows. “You were not in your chambers, and he claimed that you were far too weak to travel anywhere yourself.”
“Why would he think that?” Nezha asks. “He’s the one who told me to come here.”
“Hang on” Tianhuang spoke up, a confused expression crossed over his face. “What exactly did the doctor say?”
“He said that the council wished to see me ‘as soon as you’re well enough’ Those were his exact words. Clearly I was well enough to leave immediately, so I left immediately.”
Li Jing looked like he was going to kill. “Are you telling me,” He starts, voice slow, but rising. “That my son was deemed too injured to so much as leave his chambers, so injured that instead of assuming he simple walked out on his own he was assumed kidnapped, and yet somehow, without a single person noticing, was allowed to simple walk several kilometers without even knowing he wasn’t allowed.”
Li Jing had a cold anger and intimidating aura, that even a few of the heavenly causal members leaned away from.
The poor soldier flinched violently. “I-”
“Save your excuses.” He stands, grabbing Nezha’s arm. Not harshly, but not gently either. “I will be escorting my son back to the healing chambers, and I will be giving his doctor a proper lecture.”
Nezha could practically hear his father grinding his teeth; if he was in a more cheerful mood, it would be quite amusing.
“The Heavenly council had more questions father-”
“Quiet.” Li Jing wasn’t having it. He turned to the council, demeanor polite, but not passive. “Forgive me and my son for cutting this short. But we must-”
“Please, be off.” the Empress of Earth says softly, expression one of sympathy. “Take care of your son.”
Nezha wanted to protest more, but his father hardly gave him the chance, looping an arm around his waist and practically pulling him out of the room.
Only once they leave, and he doesn’t risk embarrassment, does Nezha push back. “Father, wait-”
“What were you thinking?” Li Jing growls. “I don’t believe for a second you were unaware of how injured you were.”
“If you believe I am injured then you would slow down.” Nezha snaps back, before quieting. “You are walking too fast.”
Li Jing doesn’t apologize, but he slows down quite a bit, allowing Nezha not to stumble as he’s dragged along.
They’re both quiet for a few moments, before Nezha finally responds “Thank you.”
Li Jing frowns, tight lipped. “You know better than to point out your own failures, Nezha.”
“They are unavoidable,” He responds “And unforgivable.”
“Oh quiet.” Li Jing snaps. “This isn’t time for your dramatics, and I do not understand why you insist it is.”
“I failed-”
“If you failed then so did every one of your men, and they fled; do you propose we throw every single one of our soldiers on the chopping block as well?” Clearly his patience was wearing thin. But then he takes a deep breath, which Nezha found odd; neither of them were exactly in the habit of tempering themselves in front of the other. “You have not been seeing things clearly. Perhaps you failed; then you would know better than to keep bringing it up. No one has mentioned treason or execution, so you should not either.”
Nezha purses his lips. “The only reason they have not said anything is because everyone knows it yet they are hesitant to punish me for it.” Perhaps they fear they won’t be able to easily replace him, or that it would worsen the already poor morale.
Li Jing grips his arm even tighter. “Temper your words son. I do not wish to force you home but if you continue to spout such madness then I will not have a choice.”
“As if you could force me to do anything.” They’re starting to approach the healing chambers. “You have tried before, you know how difficult I can make things.”
“Why are you so infuriating?” Li Jing growls. “I’m giving you words of warning.”
Nezha finally pulls away. “Your warnings are not wanted.”
Li Jing does not grab him, but leans closer. “Yes but clearly they are needed if you insist on acting so foolishly, especially in front of the council.”
“They are in a difficult position with me.” Nezha responds, not daring to look at his father as he speaks. “I was merely giving them the answers they needed to make the proper decision.”
Li Jing stopped. Nezha still did not look up. “Decision to do what?”
Nezha does not answer.
His father growls. “Nezha, decision to do-”
“There you are!” A doctor shouts, rushing forward. “Nezha how in the Heaven’s did you get so far?” She stops just in front of him, looking him up and down. “You’re absolutely pale! And shivering! Come, come.”
“We are not finished!” Li Jing snaps.
“Father, I am exhausted.” Nezha sighs. He wasn’t, well at least no more exhausted than he was before, but he very much did not wish to exchange words with his father any longer.
Clearly Li Jing wanted to argue more, but the doctor stepped in. “Of course, of course. Come, we’ll get a fire lit in your room. It's getting late and the air is getting cold. If you stay out any longer your condition will worsen.” She takes Nezha by the arm.
Seeing that in present company the discussion was well and truly over, he huffs. “This isn’t over.” He tells Nezha, before looking at the new doctor. “Who was overseeing my son’s care?”
She pauses. “That would be doctor Xiao. Why?”
“I need to speak to him.” He says, voice full of cold anger.
Which is something the doctor clearly doesn’t pick up on. “Of course. Here, allow me to bring Nezha to his chambers, and I’ll show you where he is.”
The walk back to the healing chambers was tense, though few, if any, words were exchanged.
By the time they actually do end up back at his chambers, Nezha genuinely is exhausted. His father folds his arms and leans against the doorframe as the doctor tucking him in, and doesn’t move when she sets a fire.
His fathers gaze is still sharp, but for once it isn’t on him, something Nezha is grateful for.
“This conversation isn’t over.” Li Jing finally grumbles.
“Get out.” Nezha snaps tiredly.
His father huffs, but leaves.
The doctor smiles sweetly, adjusting his blankets one last time. “There you go. Get some rest ok?”
“Make sure no one disturbs me.” Nezha commands.
“Oh of course-”
“No.” Nezha repeats, to make sure he understands the seriousness of the situation. “Make sure I am not disturbed by anyone, for several hours. Don’t let anyone into my room.”
She seemed quite shocked, and Nezha softened. “I have had enough of people for today. If the doctors must exam me they can do so after I have rested.”
“Alright.” She accepts this, smiling. “I will have a guard placed by your door.”
“That's unnecessary;” he didn’t want anyone close. “Just make sure I am left alone.”
She nods. “Alright; get some rest, General Nezha.” She finally says, before leaving.
Rest does sound tempting, but Nezha cannot allow himself to fall asleep. If he does then he won’t have time; he won’t wake up before the doctors come back, before the coddling is back.
He has the act now.
The council is not seeing reason; or perhaps they are seeing too much reason.
Whether sentimentality, or pure pragmatism, they refuse to punish him as they should.
Perhaps they are too heartbroken at the death of the emperor, and would be upset at the death of someone they still, wrongly, see as a loyal friend.
Or perhaps they knew exactly what he was; a traitor that failed to save their king. But they also realized that if they did what was necessary, there would likely be outrage.
For how he failed this time, Nezha was a beloved member of the heavenly court, a respected and trusted general. Many had followed him into battle a hundred times before, and many would do it a hundred times again.
So punishing him at all, nevermind to the level of which his indiscretion actually deserved, would cause outrage.
Still, there is always a way. And for his failure, Nezha was not going to make things worse for the Heavenly council. He may have been a traitor, albeit accidently, but he was not a coward.
Even as a child, he knew how to face punishment for his indiscretion. The years may have changed him, but few things remained the same.
There were few ways to do this without causing insult to his lords or his family; but there were ways.
As long as blood was not shed, and his body, a gift from his parents, was not destroyed, then he could do what was needed.
His family would not be insulted, the council would not be blamed, justice would be served.
There was no rope in the room, and he would not ask for any; however there were blankets, many of them.
If one had enough motivation, there was little difference between fabric and a rope. And though the chambers were hardly large or ornate, they were rather homely, and hardly stark.
It would go unnoticed by most, but there was a small hook by the door. It looked slightly broken, leaving almost a stub behind.
But if anything that made it stronger. Still, Nezha tested it, just to be sure it would hold his weight.
It did, which was hardly a surprise. Nezha didn’t weigh much.
He grabbed one of his many sheets, and twisted it.
Most assume that to hang someone a noose is required, something that’s not the easiest to make from a sheet. But really, almost any knot that can move will do. Even a simple loop would work.
Nezha isn’t one for fanfare, and despite knowing the basics, knots weren’t his specialty. A simple loop number would suffice.
Still, despite its simplicity, his hands shook. At first he tried to ignore it, but he had to pause for a few moments and calm himself.
There was no excuse for any dramatics now; this was what he was due, what was needed.
Once couldn’t fail to protect the Jade Emperor and walk away without consequence.
One couldn’t….
The Jade Emperor was dead; the King he swore to protect, who he thought of as a dear friend, who gave him nothing but compassion and second chance after second chance, was dead.
Nezha steals his resolve, and tightens the sheet around his neck.
It's soft around his neck, and Nezha finds mild amusement in that; It’s quite the juxtaposition.
He dwells on the thought for a few minutes, perhaps stalling, but after a few moments gets back to work; There's no chair to stand on, but one isn’t needed.
Hanging is like drowning; it only really takes a few inches.
Nezha slips off his shoes, and stacks them on top of each other. It really does only give him two, maybe three inches, but like he said it would be enough.
As long as the rope is tight enough.
He stands on his toes, teetering slightly as he loops the rope around the hook, neck already slipped in the makeshift noose.
The sheet stretches far more than he expects, forcing the God to keep pulling, grunting slightly as he has the stretch awkwardly, neck forced up, but the sheet not yet being stretch enough.
Finally it’s pulled taut. Nezha has to grunt a little as he loops the end to the doorknob, hands shaking as he knots it, but even without being able to see.
He takes one final breath, before kicking his shoes away.
A gasp is torn from him, though there is no immediate pain; dizziness washes over him, and lights flash over his vision.
He can’t breathe, but instinctively his body grasps desperately for air. He twitches violently, hands instinctively grasping at the sheet around his neck.
Another gasp, and then the pain starts to settle; his lungs start to burn, just as his ties start to go numb. His fingers follow as the shaking gets worse, the overwhelming white in his vision being overtaken by splotches of black.
One last desperate gasp, one last attempt his body makes against his will to survive, before his vision goes black completely, and the prince loses consciousness.
Nezha didn’t expect to ever regain consciousness.
So hearing screaming was a surprise.
“-I said the best! If you were the best this wouldn’t have happened!”
“I-”
“I don’t want your excuses!”
“Please, someone needs to examine his neck, there could be damage-”
“Then get someone else! Someone who knows what they’re doing! Not you!”
Everything's sore, and his neck hurts. His lungs burn, but he’s breathing, and it takes a second to realize why that’s wrong, why that shouldn’t be the case.
Someone must have cut him down; He’s leaning against something warm, someone's chest, and sitting on the ground, body trembling, firm arms wrapped around his limp form.
He can hear a door open, then someone stutters. “Here, Li Jing, I’ve found someone else.”
Li Jing? That couldn’t be right.
Fabric ruffles, and a hand gently caresses his chin.
The arms around him tighten.
“General Li Jing, I understand your concern, but if you don’t let Nezha go I can’t examine your son’s injuries.”
Fuck.
It takes far more effort than it should, but Nezha forces his eyes open. There's someone in front of him, a young doctor, wrapped in a tan robe.
They reach forward, and Nezha tries to raise a hand to stop them.
“You’re awake!” They gasp softly, eyes widening slightly.
It's soft, but he can also hear Li Jing’s breath hitch. “Nezha?”
“Fa-” He starts, before folding over into a coughing fit. His throat is scratchy, and sore, and the coughing makes it worse. The prince raises a trembling hand up to rub his neck, but even such a simple movement makes him dizzy.
“Nezha, can you breath?” His father asks, tone soft; it almost feels wrong.
“Yes.” He forces out weakly, followed by a few more coughs, before sitting up further.
His fathers arms tighten. “You said he couldn’t be moved until you were sure his neck wasn’t broken. Clearly it’s not, so can he be moved to a bed.” Li Jing asks in a tone that made it very clear that he wasn’t actually asking.
Nezha was confused, and mumbled in response. “A fall that short wouldn’t-”
“Shut up.” Li Jing hissed, wrapping a hand around Nezha’s forearm and holding so tightly it almost hurt.
The doctor hesitated. “I suppose, as long as you’re careful-”
Li Jing did not wait for the doctor to finish, before heaving Nezha up. The prince stumbled even with his father practically carrying him, then dragging him forward to the bed in the corner.
“I can-” Nezha, before being interrupted by his fathers growl.
“No, you cannot.”
“I didn’t even-”
“Whatever you claim you can do you cannot.” Li Jing growls as they arrive at the bed, before grabbing Nezha, and, as gently as Nezha is sure he’s capable, placing him on the edge of it.
Now that he was actually looking at his father, he could see his borderline furious expression, and the fact that he was attempting to suppress it so much that he was quite literally trembling.
Nezha decided to remain silent for the time being.
“I need to look over the patient.” The doctor approaches hesitantly. “General Li Jing, perhaps you should-”
“I am staying.” He looks at the doctor and narrows his eyes. “Clearly you doctors are incapable of keeping an eye on my son, so I am staying.”
“I understand, but perhaps you could stay over there?” The doctor gestures to the table that was holding a few medical supplies and a folder. “You can stay, but I can’t look over Nezha if I cannot get close enough to even touch him.
Though clearly displeased, Li Jing does step away, allowing the doctor to take his place.
As the doctor works, Li Jing starts to pace nervously, before finally grabbing the folder and flipping through it, only half reading it.
Meanwhile Nezha halfheartedly obeys the doctors commands and answers their questions. Lift this arm, now the other, follow my finger with your eyes, take a deep breath. Did that hurt? Are you in pain? Another deep breath, good. Now, slowly move your neck this way, then the other way. Good.
Finally they stepped back. “Ok. No permanent damage seems to be done, but I’d feel better if…” They turn their head to Li Jing as they speak, trailing off when they actually look at the man.
Li Jing was no longer merely trembling. He was looking down at the papers, gripping them so tight his knuckles had turned white, eyes bloodshot, utterly shaking in rage.
“Have you read this?” He hisses so soft Nezha has to strain his ears to hear.
The doctors breath hitches, and they step towards Li Jing. “General those are private patient files, you’re not allowed to read that.”
They reach forward to take the papers, but Li Jing shoves them away.
“Father!” Nezha gasps, slightly horrified; his father lost his temper frequently, but he never acted like this.
Luckily the doctor was not injured, more startled than anything. They hesitated slightly before saying “I need that back.”
“You needed to keep my son safe!” Li Jing snarls, looking borderline feral. Nezha was used to his fathers anger, but this scared even him. “You knew this would happen!”
“No, we didn’t know-”
“Do not treat me as a fool. What we were told about my son's state and what this says!” He waved the papers around violently “Are very much not the same! You knew how bad it was, and yet you left him alone to harm himself!”
The doctor swallows. “Your son requested very specifically to be left alone to rest. To not let anyone disturb him until-”
“My son does not speak like that! He does not act like that! Even the lowliest soldier under his guidance would know this!” Li Jing huffs, before taking a deep breath. “Clearly I cannot trust him in your care. Which is why I will have him transferred to my care; I will be taking him back home.”
“Li Jing-”
“Father-”
“Silence! Both of you!” Li Jing roars, before turning to Nezha “You cannot be trusted in these matters, and have no say in this.” Then he turns to the doctor “I am not asking permission, I am telling you what will be happening; inform whoever your supervisor is, or do not; it makes no difference to me.”
The doctor doesn’t move.
Li Jing huffs. “Leave. Now.”
With that they rush out the door, slamming it behind them.
The chambers are silent for a very long time, until Nezha realizes that his father won’t be the one breaking the silence. “There was no reason to lose face like that.” Usually Nezha is the one being scolded for such things, so it's odd, if not cathartic, for it to be the other way around.
Li Jing looks down, not facing his son. “Is that your concern right now? Decorum?”
“Is it not yours?” Nezha hummed, voice flack.
“My son attempted to take his life.” He scoffed, dropping the folder on the table.
“Your third son.” Nezha corrected. “The demon child, an unholy creature who has died once and come back not from the will of the Gods but from his own pride, a monster who murdered his second brother-”
“Who is saying these things to you?” Li Jing finally snaps, looking up and Nezha, fists clenched to his side. “Because I will have them killed for such a transgression against my family.”
Nezha meets this challenge, looking his father dead in the eye. “I am the only one dares say such a thing.”
With this Li Jing’s shoulders slump, ever so slightly.
“Will you have me killed-”
“Do not joke about that!” Li Jing shouts.
“I am not joking!” Nezha response coldly, voice not raised in the slightest.
Li Jing’s shoulders slump more for a second, before he pulls himself back together, expression unreadable. “How long has this madness afflicted you?”
“Madness? I am merely speaking the truth-”
“How long have you been suffering these delusions?”
“As a mere child I murdered Muzha-”
“How long?”
“You are not even listening to me-”
“I refuse to indulge in this madness!” Li Jing snaps. “And you are not listening to me either. I am your father, and I am commanding you to tell me exactly how long you have had these delusions.”
Nezha huffs. His father is aggressive, and wrong, but he’s still his father and Nezha can’t deny him. “Though I am clearly not mad and you are the one incapable of reason, I suppose…” He thinks for a second. “When I woke back up after suppressing the Jade Emperor's power.”
“What?”
Nezha looks down in shape. “The realization of what I had done, what I had failed to do, hadn’t settled in until then.” There was so much going on. It’s no excuse, but it’s the truth; the reality hadn’t settled in until he woke up in the healing chambers a week after he collapsed. “But when I awoke I realized.” He wraps his arms around himself. “I wasn’t sure why they healed me at all at first. If I was as badly injured as people claimed then I thought it would have been best if they let my injuries take care of matters.”
“What? Why would you even think that?”
Nezha shrugs. “Of course if there was a command to let me die, and word got out, there would be outrage. I thought they would then have a trial for me as soon as I awoke, but there wasn’t. Then I realized that having someone so injured on trail would look bad.”
Li Jing does not interrupt, which makes Nezha nervous. “When I was called to meet with them I assumed a date would be set; and I believed I would have a chance to say my piece.”
“Say your piece?” Li Jing questions, tone incredulous. It makes Nezha relax a little, as his father is never quiet for long. “You said nothing when given the chance, what could have possibly been your piece?”
He takes a deep breath. “I would have told them that I know my punishment and would have made it easy for them. I would have said anything they wanted, confessed to anything.”
“Why?” Li Jing snapped.
“Because I am- I mean was a loyal soldier and they cannot handle any instability right now-”
His father raises a hand to interrupt “You mean am, not was.”
“What?” Nezha stuttered. “No I meant was-”
“No, you mean am.” Lo Jing snaps. “Your doctors may have indulged these delusions but I will not accept them coming from your mouth for a single second. You are loyal; now continue.”
Out of all the things Nezha expected his father to contradict that wasn’t it; but after a moment of stuttering, he continued. “Well, the heavenly realm cannot handle instability, and yet also cannot handle having a traitor run around. I know what I have done and I know that punishment must be faced.”
“You are not a traitor.”
Nezha huffed. “Didn’t we just have this discussion? I’m not having it again.”
“We will have it again and again until you see reason!” Li Jing snapped.
Nezha did not back down. “Traitors must be punished; and if the council does not see my actions as treason, or if they feel they cannot dole out the proper punishment that does not change what must be done.”
“So you what? Decided to take matters into your own hands!” Li Jing shouted, furious.
“Yes! I may be a traitor but I am loyal!” He stood up and shouted, placing a hand on his chest. “I pledged an oath to protect the Jade emperor and failed! Whether I plunged a sword into his chest with my own hands makes no difference, the outcome on him is the same so the outcome for me should be as well! I-” He continues, before white spots cross over his vision, and he gasps for air.
“Nezha!” His father shouts in concern. Through his blurred vision Nezha sees him rush forward.
Right before he can collapse Li Jing wraps his arms around Nezha and holds him tight as his body is overtaken by another coughing fit.
However when the fit ends Li Jing does not let him go, and instead forcefully places him back on the bed. “You are delicate right now.”
Nezha scoffs, eyes narrowing. “What is with you? Making excuses for your son now? If you insist that I am your son then you should hold me to the same standard.”
Li Jing is silent for a long time, before speaking, voice unnaturally low. “What my expectations of you are, and what you believe they are are clearly different.” He scoffs. “I have high standards but they are not the impossible ones you have for yourself.”
“And yet I have never once met them!” Nezha snaps.
Li Jing was supposed to argue. He always argues, always finds something to scold and criticize, because there is always something; and now there was plenty. All of Nezha’s flaws and failures were right in front of him; he was bearing every flaw of his soul, telling his father to tear it apart.
But Li Jing did not do that. Instead he went pale, his breath shaking. “How could you say such a thing? How could you even think it?”
“Please!” Nezha almost wants to laugh. “Everyone knows it! Everyone knows what I am, how I murdered my own brother, how I am an undisciplined demon! Everyone knows that I am the worst of our clan and have done nothing but bring us shame!” Tears start to prick at his eyes, but he dares not let them fall. “And now I have done something truly unforgivable, committed an act that our family name can never be cleared of. This final act would have washed all of that away. Why did you stop me!”
A disturbed look crossed Li Jing’s face. “This is worse than I feared.”
“Finally we are on the same page.” Nezha huffs. “You see what I am now.” He glanced at the door. “If you step out to yell at the nurses no one will question it; I’ll be sure to barricade the doors again. If you can bye me fifteen minutes-”
Suddenly Li Jing rushes forward, violently grabbing Nezha’s arm “I am talking about this madness of yours, not whatever deeds you have convinced yourself you’ve done. Whether you’re suffering from mere battle madness or if the Jade Emperor's power was too much to carry even temporarily I care not, but whatever you’ve been afflicted with will be cured.”
“I am not delusional, father.” Nezha huffs.
Li Jing does not loosen his grip. “Anyone who thinks you are a shame to our clan in any way is completely mad. Especially someone who should very much know better.”
“Well if I am as mad as you claim then what will dragging me home do?” Nezha snaps. “If even the heavenly doctors-”
“Those doctors are hacks!” Li Jing shouts, before looking at the folder left on the table and narrowing his eyes. “They knew about your delusions, that you believed you deserved death, and yet they allowed you to not only leave the chambers without even knowing, but then left you alone even after the fact, allowing you to harm yourself!” He says, grip tightening.
Nezha wonders what was written in the file; He was interviewed a lot, but doesn’t remember everything he said. It's all kind of a blur.
He bites his lip and looks down.
Li Jing loosens his grip slightly, perhaps realizing that he may be hurting his son. “I know other doctors; ones who do know how to help. Who won’t give you the chance to harm yourself until this madness has abated.”
“And if I refuse?” Nezha scoffs. “If I won’t go with you?”
Li Jing’s eyes narrow. “I am not asking permission; I am telling you what will happen. You will be coming home with me, where you will receive treatment. Do not argue with me Nezha.”
But of course, Nezha being Nezha, it was his nature to argue. “What if I protest? Fight you on the way out? I might not win but I could make things very unpleasant.
Li Jing only stands up straighter. “I have fought a thousand battles and would fight a thousand more if needed; I can handle the scratches or bites from an injured soldier.”
“The Heavily council won’t be happy that you take me away without permission.”
“They will tolerate my indiscretion, and if not I will take the consequences over risking the safety of my son.”
“That could mean-”
“Enough!” Li Jing snaps. “This conversation is over! You say you commit treason and demand your own head for it; I would commit treason a hundred times over to keep any of my children from such a fate. There is not a single word you can say, not a single thing you can do to change my mind! Quit arguing over what you cannot change!”
Nezha didn’t expect such a bold statement, and flinches slightly.
Li Jing softens, but only just. “I do not mean to frighten you son. I only wish to protect you.”
“I do not need your protection.” He spits. “I never have before.”
“You may not have before, but you need it now.”
Nezha’s frown deepens. “I do not want your protection.”
“I don’t care.” Li Jing says sharply. “You are my son, I am your father.”
Nezha huffs. “If you think-”
“For all we have argued, you have never once disobeyed a command.” He says. “You have challenged my authority, disrespected me publicly, and fought with me countless times. But when I give a command, you have never disobeyed. Will you start now.”
Nezha opens his mouth to argue; he wants to argue, to scream, to make his father understand. He opens his mouth to speak, to explain to his father again what he did, to keep talking until Li Jing finally understands, finally agrees.
Nezha opens his mouth, then closes it, and looks down. “No father.”
Li Jing stands a little taller, knowing he won. “Good; you will be coming home with me, and you will stay there until your condition improves. Understand.”
“Yes father.”
Then he does something unexpected. He softens, reaches a hand forward, and places it on Nezha’s shoulder. “I do not understand what is going through your head right now, what lies your battle trauma has convinced you of; but know I am telling the truth when I say I am proud of you.”
Nezha did not look up.
Li Jing’s grip rightens. “I am proud of you. I love you. And if given the chance I would never have replaced you.”
Considering all that Nezha had done, all he had put his family through, why would his father not replace him? Any soldier, any boy in the heavenly court, even a true demon son, would be a better child.
Li Jing picked up on his son's hesitance. “Do you understand?”
“Yes father.”
He sighs. “I suppose with your current state I cannot expect you to see reason, nor to see through these delusions.”
“But I promise you, my son. You will see the truth soon enough. That I swear.”