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Why is this happening to me?
Kabru is currently laid on his bed. He’s been prepared to fall asleep for the past two hours, but between thoughts of the fight he had with Rin earlier, Laios’ obvious concern towards him, and the threat of having yet another nightmare (which he’s been having every night for the past week), his eyes remain splayed open in the dark.
Life was supposed to be better by now, happily ever after and all that, right?
He can feel the fatigue in his bones, and his skin — somehow wet and dry at the same time — feels too thin to contain all that Kabru is, as if it might accidentally tear apart to reveal what his body has been hiding deep inside.
His heart starts beating faster unprompted, a heavy weight installing itself on his chest, making it hard to breathe.
Alright, fuck this.
He shoves his covers away, clumsily getting up to stomp towards the closet, taking out the first article of clothing he can find.
I’m going to get drunk.
He curses under his breath as he almost falls out of balance while putting a pair of pants on, hands trembling as he jumps on one foot and squints in the dark, missing the leg hole twice before finally managing to put them on.
He storms out of his room, trying to synchronize his steps with the loud consuming badump badump badump sounding inside his ears and using his intense emotions as fuel to walk as fast as possible through the darkened corridors of the castle.
He feels out of breath but that’s ok, it’s normal to feel like that when he’s practically running.
The shadows move on the corners of his eyes, furtive figures — too big, with members too long — creeping closer with every turn he makes.
His eyes remain straight ahead, cold sweat coming down his forehead and back, forming a few wet spots on the unfortunate white shirt he’d grabbed. He sharpens his hearing, but only the echoing of his footsteps reaches his ears.
I’ll go into the kitchen, grab the best bottle of elvish wine we have, and drink it all in one fucking gulp, he plans, aggression slipping into his internal dialogue without his permission. Who cares about the consequences of this particular action? Day Kabru can deal with it later, Night Kabru needs to pass out for a little bit.
He finally arrives at the kitchen, nearly slamming the door open on his haste, and he is halfway down to the cellar when a voice interrupts his momentum.
“Kabru?!”
He almost stumbles on his feet, freezing on spot as he immediately recognizes the voice.
Fuck, he thinks as he takes a deep breath, willing the dizziness and the heightened shadows around his vision to go away. If it was anyone else, I’d get away with it.
He turns around, slowly, giving himself time to gather his wits to finally look up at Laios.
He’s staring at Kabru with alertness. He’s got a half-tied apron around him and looks like he had been ready to bolt right after him if Kabru hadn’t stopped dead on his tracks.
“Laios,” Kabru greets and, panting a little, blurts out, “what are you doing here?”
That was too abrupt, he curses mentally as he displays a smile to make up for it. Its ok, he probably didn’t notice it.
“I…” Laios’ eyes become round as they widen slightly more. He frowns, “are you—”
A sharp breath comes in, too sudden for Kabru to mask it. He forces himself to keep smiling.
Laios startles and immediately backtracks.
“I, uh- had a lot on my mind, so…” he looks away — Kabru quietly lets a shaking breath go — and nervously gestures to the countertop, “I decided to try recreating the pasta from that guy we talked about earlier today, uh-“ he tentatively looks back up again at Kabru, “Milsurum? That’s his name, right?”
Kabru squints back to him, his brain taking a second to remember when they’d talked about Mithrun at all.
“Mithrun, you mean?”
“Yes,” Laios snaps his fingers, pointing right back at him and smiling small, “Mithrun, that guy, I asked for his recipe after eating his pasta that one time and he actually showed me how to do it right then and there. I haven’t had the time to try it out since then, though, so I thought, why not do it now? So, here I am.”
Kabru finally looks down at the countertop and he sees many things — spaghetti, pepperoni, olive oil, garlic, onions, tomatoes, some leaves, and spices — and relief runs through his body, alleviating some of the tension he’d been holding. It becomes easier to breathe.
“So,” Laios starts carefully — Kabru still jumps at the sound, “what about you?”
“Oh, I…” Kabru tries to go for an easy lie, but to his fucking surprise and internal turmoil, his mind completely blanks.
He stands there awkwardly for a few seconds, mouth gaping, trying to find a plausible reason for him to be there — in the kitchen, this late in the night, eyes locked at Laios’ poorly concealed concern —, one that has nothing to do with him not being able to fall asleep and one that especially has nothing to do with him intending to get blackout drunk on a weekday.
He gulps, realizing he’s going to tell him the truth.
He draws his trembling hands behind his back, preparing himself for the judgement and the concern that’s sure to come, and starts to say, “I… was going to… grab a… bottle of wine and…”
“Wait,” Laios interrupts him, “red or white?”
His mind trips on itself at the sudden question.
“Uh…” he intelligently says, “r-red? I think?”
Laios hums, crosses his arms and looks down at the ingredients on the countertop.
Kabru’s brain begins to work faster as he tries to understand where Laios’ getting at before he actually gets there.
“Hey,” he looks up at Kabru with a larger smile than before, “that’s not such a bad idea, it’d go super well with this, I bet! Could you grab two bottles when you go down?”
All thought process halts as Kabru takes another moment too long to rewire his brain and figure out a response.
That’s not what Laios was supposed to say.
Who cares? This is good! Say “yes” and get out of there!
That’s not how he was supposed to react, though.
What excuse would you give if he started to really question why you’re going after alcohol this late in the night?
…
Exactly! You and your precarious state of mind wouldn’t be able to keep up with his questions, and you know he likes to ask difficult questions.
He would probably figure everything out, eventually…
Yes, so just answer him with “Sure thing, I’ll be back in a few!” and walk away!
Kabru knows he should be feeling relieved, and that he should be getting the fuck out of here, but the puzzle Laios presents himself as locks him into a displaced kind of feeling that paralyzes him in place.
Laios’ been worried about me, and he tried to confront me all week.
He caught me red-handed, and already got me to admit something I didn’t want anyone to know. It’s the opportunity he’s probably been looking for.
And yet, he doesn’t do it. Not only he seems to endorse the drinking, he wants a bottle for himself.
Kabru scrutinizes Laios’ face and body language, willing it to reveal its owner’s missing puzzle piece, but he only sees him becoming increasingly nervous, probably because Kabru’s taking too long to answer.
His hands close into fists behind his back, trembling with frustration.
I don’t understand him at all…
“Uh…” Laios starts to say, “if you don’t want to… it’s totally fine, you know. You can do whatever you want. I just thought we”—his right hand awkwardly combs through blond hair, voice getting a pitch higher for a second—"could eat together, I’d be very happy to cook for you, it would be… cool and all to… spend some time just the two of us… you know, without all the work stuff…”
He wants to cook for me? He wants to spend time alone with me?
He’s nervous because Kabru didn’t answer… right?
He’s planning something.
What’s he getting at?
Kabru doesn’t know what to say.
He’s got the pieces, but still, it doesn’t click.
He feels his tired mind accelerating and it seems to only worsen the situation. Shapeless blobs of thought and vague impressions of memories bounce in and out of it, too fast and smudged together for Kabru to get a proper look at them.
This doesn’t make any sense.
His belly starts tingling and he feels paranoid as he looks over the ingredients again.
He wouldn’t. Certainly, he wouldn’t.
He carefully checks them one by one, making sure they really are what they are until his sight lands on the lush red of the tomatoes.
His stomach makes a noise so loud he’s sure it reaches Laios’ ears.
Kabru immediately pinches his eyes shut, afraid to see Laios’ reaction.
“I’ll grab the wine,” he blurts out, already turning away to scramble out of there before Laios could say anything back.
He tries not to run to the cellar, but he still bumps on the far edge of the kitchen table hard enough to drag it across the floor by a few centimeters, producing another noise that’s too loud on the silence of the kitchen’s walls.
His cheeks burn and his eyes water from the pain that starts on his hip.
Kabru picks up the pace of his steps, turning it into a small jog the rest of the way.
He opens the door to the cellar, stepping inside and swiftly closing it behind his back, leaning heavily on the door, panting, eyes not seeing anything even though he’s sure they are open.
“Fuck,” the word wasn’t supposed to come out loud. The way his voice trembles makes him wince, worsening his growing embarrassment.
Kabru staggers forward, right hand guiding him by the wall as he goes down the first couple of steps of the cellar’s narrow staircase. His legs wobble under him and he drops back on his butt when he can’t take his own weight anymore.
Now sat, he brings both hands to press hard at his scalding face, a senseless cacophony of screaming immediately taking over his head. His jaw clenches as it follows the tightening of seemingly every muscle of Kabru’s body, which contorts in and on itself in an attempt to disappear.
I don’t even feel that hungry, is the first logical thought that crosses his scorched mind.
Like a lifeline, he pulls it towards him, pushing everything else out of the way to focus solely on it.
I know I’ve been kind of neglecting my food intake, but this was just an absurd overreaction over uncooked food!
He remembers to breathe; cold air fills his lungs, relieving him from some of the tightness, and coming out warm.
Sure, it might be true you like tomatoes, but there was no need to be so loud about it!
He takes another deep breath and abruptly decides to get up — too fast, he realizes, as he gets so dizzy he has to lean against the wall. It’s the best thing he did all day as the cold seeping out of the stone wall act as instant relief for his warmed-up body. He whines as he presses the right side of his face on the stone, waiting a few seconds before turning the other side.
He stays pressed against the wall for long enough to finally feel himself calming down.
By the time he unglues himself from the wall, he feels more tired than he’d probably ever felt before. That’s an exaggeration, but it feels true as his eyes fight to open again after he blinks.
Going down the rest of the steps, Kabru slouches in front of the wine rack.
There’s so many of them, he thinks, tired and done, dragging one hand down his face.
He doesn’t know which one to pick. He also has to take Laios’ recipe into consideration, but Kabru doesn’t know how he can even begin to do that, since he knows absolutely nothing about gastronomy.
“Oh, c’mon, man,” he laments with himself, feeling pressure behind his eyes and bumping a fisted hand on his hip to mask the feeling, “you should have asked Laios which wine he wanted.”
That was obviously not possible for the Kabru of that moment.
He sighs heavily, feeling the bags under his eyes pulling them shut as he starts randomly pointing around the wine rack, counting to 13 in his mind and picking two bottles of the one his finger landed at.
You know what? he thinks going up the stairs, I’m going back to my room, and drink myself to death, who cares if I’m a little hungry?
Opening the door, his nose is assaulted by a wonderful smell that makes his stomach growl again.
Goddamnit, he curses, mouth watering at the same rate blood flows back to his face. At least it wasn’t so loud this time.
He approaches Laios with an even pace, refusing to show how affected he is.
Laios greets him with a small “hey” and a smile that seems genuine, not teasing.
Let’s get this over with, Kabru thrusts the bottle forward, showing him the label. “Is this good?”
Laios releases the knife he was using to mince the tomatoes and carefully takes the bottle from his hands to inspect it closely.
“It looks good,” he says, shifting it on his hands to efficiently pull the cork out with his bare hands, arm muscles flexing for a moment before a loud pop echoes on the kitchen.
Kabru hides a flinch at the sound, gulping down saliva.
Laios brings the bottle under his nose, taking a deep breath.
“Yes, it’s perfect,” Laios announces, a satisfied smile on his face. “Here, I got us cups,” he produces glasses seemingly out of thin air and pours a small amount on one of them, turning to Kabru to gentlemanly ask, “Would you mind tasting it?”
Kabru blinks and picks it up, swirling the wine around — its smell coming up to his nose. He’s been paying attention to his etiquette lessons…
He takes a sip and when the sweet fruity flavor of the elvish wine touches his tongue, something quietly loosens inside of him.
“It’s good,” he says, licking his lips in search of its lingering flavor and already extending the cup back to Laios.
“Good,” Laios smiles more fully this time, pouring them full cups. “Cheers,” he bumps their glasses together before taking a sip of his own.
“…cheers,” Kabru mirrors him, pending his head back to gulp down a larger amount and letting out a satisfied sigh as the wine burns down his throat.
“So,” Laios starts, watching him much attentive, “are you going to eat? I’m making enough for the both of us.”
“Hm…” now that he had what he’d been craving all this time, he thinks that maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to eat a little; whatever it is that’s producing this smell has to be good. “Since, you’re making for us both…”
“Is that a yes?” Laios frowns a little.
“Yes,” Kabru huffs out.
“Alright!” Laios says animatedly. “You better sit down, then,” he points to the stool that definitely wasn’t there before, “this is going to take a while still.”
“Oh,” he blinks again, “ok.”
Kabru takes his cup, sidestepping until he reaches the stool. He manages to wait until he’s sat down before he takes another large gulp, downing half of the wine, already feeling a little lightheaded.
It’s been such a long time since he last drank anything alcoholic at all that he probably won’t be able to control himself very well at the rate he’s drinking. Kabru doesn’t naturally drink heavily, preferring alcohol more as the tool it is to get closer to people than as something he uses to feel different like he sees many people doing. But now, he can’t find it in himself to be bothered about it, because it feels so good.
He opens eyes he never even realized he’d closed to move them towards Laios.
He’s by the counter, having apparently finished cutting everything he’s going to use (as Kabru can’t see the knife anywhere), and he’s mixing the tomatoes and a few other things in a bowl with a small wooden spoon.
Kabru notices he isn’t using all the ingredients he’s prepared (the tomatoes inside the bowl are cut in tiny little squares while the ones reserved on the countertop are peeled) and he idly wonders how all of this is going to come together.
Laios places the bowl on the countertop, pulling at the kitchen towel he had attached to his waistband and bends down to open the oven. A heavenly smell comes up towards Kabru and he suddenly feels his hunger as a mean pinch in his stomach.
That’s where the smell was coming from, he salivates, instinctively gulping down.
Laios straightens up, bring with him a tray with tiny golden slices of bread on it. He places the tray down on where he was working and proceeds to pick the slices up one at a time, putting a spoonful of the minced tomatoes he’d been mixing on each of them and aesthetically disposing them on a plate he’d made available beforehand.
Kabru doesn’t remember to hide his staring as Laios lifts the finished plate and places it right in front of Kabru.
“It’s ready!” he excitedly says.
“Huh?” Kabru says, confused, “weren’t you going to make pasta?”
“I am going to make pasta,” Laios confirms, “but I thought I could make a little something else, since you looked hungry.”
“Huh…” Kabru says intelligently. He doesn’t know how to process that. In fact, he’s not even going to try. The food looks good.
He picks one up with a thumb and forefinger, shoving it into his mouth in a single bite.
The intense flavor takes him by surprise and an audible groan leaves his mouth as he closes his eyes to intensify the experience.
He carefully munches through the bread, hearing its cracks from inside his skull, and chews the tomatoes, liberating a flavor that his mind identifies as spicy, but his taste buds say that’s not really it.
He opens his eyes to reach for another one, bringing it to his mouth to chase after the flavor, enjoying it with another, smaller closed-eyed groan.
“Damn, Laios,” he says through a mouthful, “this is really good.”
“Ha… Hahaha…” Laios laughs a little nervously, “I’m glad you like it.”
Kabru opens his eyes to see Laios blushing a little as he tugs his collar with a hooked finger.
Kabru feels his mind taking a step towards the overthinking path once more, but he swiftly shuts it down with another of the little breads.
“What are they called?” he decides to ask.
“Ah, it’s bruschetta, Marcille’s the one who showed them to me. They taste good with wine.”
Kabru swallows and already goes for Laios’ suggestion, taking the next piece with a sip of wine. A whole new wheel of flavors invades his mouth, and he physically can’t stop the long groan that escapes his mouth, tongue helping move the food around his mouth so he can taste it in every which way as slowly as possible.
He swallows carefully, mouth hanging open as a puff of air automatically leaves him as a sigh.
This is easily one of the best things I’ve ever eaten.
Kabru opens his eyes to be confronted with the fact that Laios’ blush had spread to cover his entire face, going downwards and disappearing inside his collar. His wide-eyed stare fixed a little low on Kabru’s face.
Kabru closes his mouth, suddenly self-conscious, bringing a fist in front of it to audibly clear his throat.
Laios startles and when their eyes meet, he lets out a loud awkward laugh.
“HA- Hahaha…” he turns away from him, mechanical in his usually natural movements, “I-I’m glad you liked it,” he repeats what he said before, picking up the knife that apparently had been inside the sink, holding it still in the air for a few seconds before dropping it to turn to the stove to check on the pot with boiling water on top of it.
Ok, Kabru thinks, that’s suspicious, he bites into another little bread, but not entirely off with what you have been seeing from him lately…
Maybe it’s because of the wine, or the fact that the food tastes good, but it feels easier for Kabru to admit that Laios has started to act… differently towards him, and that it isn’t all concern.
It all started when they coincidentally met at the library in the middle of the night. Kabru had managed to elicit some different reactions from Laios that day, which is always good news for him, as he’d established the life-long goal of understanding the tall-man known as Laios Touden.
But since then, what first seemed like excitement over their deepening bond slowly transformed into concern towards Kabru’s well-being, and that suddenly morphed into… something else.
And Kabru… has been struggling with the idea.
He swallows and has to ease the food down his throat with the rest of his wine. He reaches for the bottle to fill his cup again as he ponders the fact.
Many people have shown interest in Kabru throughout his life. Sometimes it’s his eyes, or maybe his smile, the color of his skin, and, more than once, it had been his voice.
It was obvious most of the times. Attraction is easy to spot if you know its signs. That’s the thing about humans; you get a broad variety of behaviors when analyzing them on the individual scope, but it’s possible to identify patterns across entire populations. The tricky part, however, is that identifying attraction is different from dealing with it, and the individualities of people come into play when deciding what to do about it.
On the worst cases, it got Kabru annoyed, sick, and/or tired. On the best, he got friends out of it. And on its most complicated…
That’s a work in progress.
But the thing is that having someone attracted to him usually put Kabru on a privileged position relating to them. And usually, he deals just fine with it.
Holm’s sister, for example, has always been quite explicit on her attempts to get with him.
He met her on accident. Well… not really. When he was still profiling Holm and he discovered he was estranged from his sister, Kabru had naturally become curious about what type of person she was. He tracked down her favorite restaurant and posted himself there to observe her. What he hadn’t expected, however, was how she boldly approached him.
The way she went about it was intelligent and sharp, and it had greatly amused Kabru into a session of casual flirting and bantering. He found that he respected her for it, and it was with this thought in mind that he gently let down her proposal when it finally came, still making sure to express how much fun he had talking with her and asking if it was possible to continue their relationship like that.
They became close friends over many afternoon tea meetups, and he even managed to help her get in touch with Holm again, an unplanned victory that he held proudly on his mind.
But with Laios, things work differently.
First, he’s the king.
Laios needs successors, children to whom he can pass the torch of his reign, who can stretch their ideals forward into the future and make sure this kingdom they are building will remain faithful to its origins. He can’t have that if he doesn’t marry someone who can provide that for him, and Kabru certainly doesn’t have the parts to do that.
Second, I’m his advisor.
That’s the most important job Kabru has ever had, and he won’t so easily give it up. Even when he had no idea what he’d do to change the world, his studies and hobbies were already shaping him up to fit this role. But if it becomes clear he holds a different kind of privilege under his king’s eyes, it will make things more difficult for them on negotiations with foreign forces.
Third…
He watches as Laios hisses, shaking his hand away from the frying pan and crackling oil, bringing fingers to his mouth to suck the pain away.
Kabru catches a glimpse of his tongue before Laios is already pulling away to rinse his hand on the sink and going right back at it to throw a pinch of salt into the mix.
He’s too earnest, his mind supplies as he looks down at the plate of bruschetta (only two of them left, now), his cheeks tingling.
And he’s insistent on his earnestness.
The thought starts a weird feeling on Kabru’s stomach, one he’s started to feel more often every time he interacted more casually with Laios. He doesn’t know what it is, what it means, or what he should do about it (should he even do anything about it?), but he still grapples with it to make it go away.
He brings the wine close to his nose to distract himself with its fruity fragrance.
Romance and sex, he’s found, isn’t really something he’s inclined to partake.
He has never been, and he sees it as an advantage. Like alcohol, he only took small sips of it to build a breach to talk with someone; so, with a light hand to the shoulder, a small knowing smile, and a wink that promised shared secrets, Kabru got almost anyone even slightly inclined wrapped around his little finger, and not only he always gets to know what he was looking for, it feels good to exert influence like that.
This, he thinks as he closely watches over the rim of his glass the flexing of Laios’ arms as he tries to open the other wine bottle, this isn’t good.
This bottle seems to resist more than the first one had, but instead of searching for the proper tool to get it open, Laios exerts more force, just enough for a loud pop to echo on the kitchen.
Kabru doesn’t flinch this time, but he has to hold back a shiver that tries to crawl up his spine.
Control yourself, Kabru, his left-hand grips painfully on his thigh.
Laios pours the wine into the pan, producing a sizzling sound that sets free the shiver up his back. It rattles his mind around as he repeats, control yourself, in increasing despair.
Laios covers the pan with a lid and turns back around, picking up his cup with a swift movement and downing the wine in one go.
Dear god… he thinks as he watches his Adam’s apple go up and down his throat, I should strangle him.
Kabru impulsively drinks all of his wine as well, figuring that’s the best way to disguise the warmth he’s suddenly started to feel on his abdomen.
Laios brings his glass down with a prolonged sigh, sees that Kabru is finished with his too and immediately goes for the first bottle of wine to refill their glasses. Kabru, who regrets his poor choice of action as the warmth starts to spread throughout his entire body, still tilts his cup forward, watching as Laios pours for him first.
“Five more minutes and it’ll be ready,” Laios informs, sitting on the stoll across from Kabru and eating one bruschetta with gusto.
“Thank you for cooking,” Kabru politely says as he starts to properly feel the effects of alcohol in his body.
“It’s alright,” he says with ease, “I like it, you know?”
Kabru chuckles slightly, feeling tipsy, “yes, I know you do.”
Laios smiles at him, grabbing another bruschetta and shoving it into his mouth, wetting his lips with a sip of wine.
They fall in comfortable silence, sipping the wine and enjoying the cloudiness that came with it. The low sizzling of the pan serves as pleasant background noise, and Kabru feels his eyes slipping closed, mind dozing off.
“—Kabru.”
He snaps back to attention; eyes startle open to see Laios placing a plate of deliciously colored spaghetti in front of him.
He gasps at the sight, incredible smell immediately hitting his nostrils, making his stomach grumble and mouth salivate.
“It’s ready,” Laios gently says, arranging the cutlery beside the plate, readying it for Kabru to eat.
He grabs the fork, no thought attached to the action, scoops a fair amount up and carefully wraps his lips around it.
His eyes instinctively close and his head pends back, a deep sigh leaving his lungs as his mouth works around it.
It’s amazing. Maybe this is the best thing Kabru has ever tasted, or, at least, it closely competes with the bruschetta from before. It pushes him for more.
They eat and drink in silence. The sound of cutlery hitting plate the only one in the kitchen. They stay like that even as they finish up.
Laios picks their plates up to take them to the sink, scrubbing them to get the worst of it off before moving on to the rest of the kitchen items he’d used.
I should help him, Kabru thinks, but, as he looks around, he realizes he doesn’t know where to even start.
Laios makes it look easy, going from here to there, getting everything in order swiftly and precisely.
Maybe it’s ok to just watch, a part of him softly suggests, accepting and uncharacteristically making him relax as Laios continues to move around him.
He brings the wine close to his mouth, looking at Laios over his glass’ rim once again.
He turns, finished with the dishes, and the look he sends to Kabru is filled with a satisfied kind of wearied.
“So,” Laios’ voice breaks through his daze, “you look like you’re ready to go to sleep.”
Affection, the word bounces Kabru’s mind as he looks over Laios’ everything. The fact that it’s so openly there for him to see makes him nervous (that’s what the weird feeling in his stomach must be), so he downs the rest of his wine to banish any weird thoughts that might come from it.
“Yes, I think I might be…”
Laios smiles at him, and his voice pitches low as he says, “Good.”
Kabru’s heart leaps in his chest, pulsing stronger the longer he looks at Laios’ smile. He can’t find the will to look away.
“C’mon,” he softly says, nudging his arm with his knuckles, “I’ll escort you to your room.”
“Hm, ok,” Kabru answers in a tiny voice, getting up only to have his blood pressure drop significantly. His body sways back and forth and he leans heavily against the table to wait for his spatial orientation to get back on track.
“Ah, you got up too fast.”
Laios is suddenly besides him, warm hand on his back. Kabru breathes in deeply, back expanding, going after the weight of its touch.
“Hm, yeah…” Kabru slurs his voice, but it’s more genuine than he anticipated, “I think I’m a little drunk,” dizziness makes it difficult to formulate anything else.
“Maybe,” Laios pulls him gently by the wrist, adjusting Kabru’s arm over his shoulder and circling his own around Kabru’s waist. “Ready?”
The touch burns through Kabru’s clothes, and he lets out a small whine as answer. He doesn’t think about it too much.
“Let’s go, then.”
They walk the darkened corridors slowly, Laios controlling the speed and length of their steps.
Kabru is never once assaulted by the threat of fear. His mind is silent. It’s easy to breathe and he suddenly feels like talking.
“Laios,” he distantly registers the way his voice drags out, a little too loud in the silent corridors. For once, however, he doesn’t care about what he might sound or look like.
Laios responds with a low questioning hum that Kabru feels vibrating on his chest. It makes him forget what he was going to say, so he only parrots his hum back at him, squinting down at their feet.
“You’re such a good cook,” it suddenly comes out of his mouth. Is that what he wanted to say?
He feels Laios’ grip on his waist become a little firmer, and he hears the smile in his voice as he says, “Thanks, Kabru.”
“No,” Kabru backtracks, a little late, missing the rhythm of the conversation, “you—” he sighs exasperated, bringing his free hand to his head to try to make sense of what’s going on inside of it, “your food was so good. I really like tomatoes.” What is he trying to say? Is it making any sense?
He feels the vibrations of Laios’ laugh on his side that’s glued to him. It makes Kabru want to lean more heavily against him.
“Thanks, I’m glad I got to make it for you.”
“Hm, I’m glad, too…” he wants to say something else to feel Laios’ laugh again. “It’s the best meal I’ve ever had.”
“Oh! Hehehe…”
That weird laugh, again…
“You’re so weird,” Kabru slurs out, head pending to the side, giving into his urge to rest it over his shoulder, “I like it, though.”
“Hehe… is that so?”
“Yeah,” they make a turn, Kabru’s legs cross in front of him, falling out of step, almost causing him to stumble and making him hit his cheekbone against Laios’ shoulder a little too hard. Laios holds him up with a small oops. “It’s different,” he continues as if nothing had happened at all, “I don’t understand you at all.”
“Oh…”
“But,” he matches his step with Laios’, “it makes you interesting, makes me want to know you better.”
“Oh.”
Somehow, this last “oh” sounded different from the first one. Kabru doesn’t understand it very well, so he turns his head until he can see Laios’ facial expression, squinting in the dark at the redness that dusts his face.
“Hm,” Kabru expertly says, curiosity lightening up inside of him as he murmurs by Laios’ ear, “what are you blushing for?”
“AHaha—” Laios suddenly laughs, jerking his head away from him, a light shiver running through him. “No-nothing much, just made me h-happy to hear it.”
His head makes some aborted movements to his side and he briefly lets go of Kabru’s wrist to rub at the ear that’s closest to Kabru. The movement attracts his gaze, and he vaguely notices the tip of his ear is red as well. When his hand comes back to its warm hold on Kabru’s wrist, it’s a little damp with sweat.
Kabru smirks and hums low by his ear, just to mess with him this time. It gets the reaction he’s looking for.
A more intense full body shiver takes over Laios for a second — Kabru can feel it where they touch — and he sees the way his neck tenses up with the effort to not jerk his head around again, face acquiring a darker color in the moonlight.
Kabru giggles, mostly to himself now, but it still manages to elicit tiny tremors from Laios’ shoulder.
He leans his head sideways again, smiling content and enjoying the warmth provided by Laios’ reactions.
They make only two more turns before arriving on Kabru’s room.
“H-here we are,” Laios’ voice falters slightly. He carefully dislodges himself from under Kabru’s arm and leaves him standing right in front of his room.
Kabru stares at the door, body quivering, mind darkening.
It’s because it’s cold, he tells himself, and, before he could stop to think about it, he turns around.
“Sleep well—K-Ka-bru?!” Laios sttuters out as Kabru circles both arms around his middle to hold him close a little longer.
Warm, Kabru thinks, closing his eyes to intensify the lightheadedness that makes his body sway. Laios’ hands quickly come to his shoulders, stabilizing their stance. Kabru can feel his thundering heartbeat against him.
“W-what are you doing?” Laios asks, fingers twitching against him.
Not sure, is what he thinks, but he says, “I’m hugging you.”
“O-oh,” the hands haltingly slide over his shoulders to splay open over his scapulas. Even through the awkwardness, Kabru feels comfort slipping into his bones at the motion. He sags further into the hug, leaning more of his weight towards Laios, forehead coming down to rest on the dip between his shoulder and neck. Laios tense up and his pulse picks up its pace near his temple. “W-w-what brought t-this on?” he sounds a little alarmed, but he doesn’t push him away.
“I don’t know…” he answers genuinely. Feeling that he should probably give him a more satisfying answer, he adds, “Did you know you should hug someone every day for at least twenty seconds?”
That makes Laios pause. Kabru feels him relax a little.
“Really?” he sounds interested. “Why?”
“Something about humans’ emotional needs,” he mumbles on Laios’ chest, “and about it being essential for our full health.”
Laios hums — Kabru feels it rumbling through his neck — and as if he’s decided on something, he takes a deep breath and slides his arms more comfortably over Kabru’s back, firmly holding him close, and hooks his chin over Kabru’s head. Something loosens inside of Kabru as well.
Feels good…
They stay still like that, lingering in the moment, Laios swaying them gently from side to side, Kabru feeling more comfortable he’s probably ever felt while hugging someone.
He doesn’t want to let go.
“W-we—” Laios breaks the silence, stopping to clear his throat and starting again, “We should do this every day, then.”
Kabru smiles, hidden.
“Perhaps…”
He tightens his grip before letting go, easing himself out of Laios’ embrace without looking up at him as he’s unsure if he wants to know what he’s going to see there. However, as he opens the door and steps inside his room, he finds courage to look back.
Laios’ golden eyes shine at him even through the dark, and he smiles small, but happy.
Kabru feels his heart missing a beat as he whispers, “Good night, Laios.”
“Good- good night,” he raises an awkward hand up in the air. “Good night, Kabru.”
Kabru smiles, teeth showing. “Good night,” he begins to close the door.
“Good night…”
He shuts the door. Kabru goes to bed with a full chest, feeling lighter than he has in a long time. The wanting the hug left him with, a small sparkle in the middle of his chest.