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The boys had known each other since the second day of university. Attending a few classes together got them into a quick exchange and soon after they found out that what seemed like uncommon ground was a bond neither of them expected. Their minds instantly clicked, working on the same lines and in the same ways, swirling in the same parallels, and their names quickly gained a bigger meaning in the buzzing mess of their thoughts, always staying on top, always burning bright in the fast whirl inside their skulls.
Jayce studied mechanical engineering, a golden boy burning brighter than the sun, and Viktor had his hands full with biotechnology, physics, and engineering science, enduring a hardship only a few could - always on the go, always distant. Somewhere between their little time and the constant stress, between Viktor's aloof personality and Jayce´s blinding selflessness, they managed to build a friendship that pulled at their heartstrings and made everyone around them wonder.
They seemed to be moulded by the same hands and the same clay, their bodies a puzzled piece of each other - they were created as one and separated after the sculptor realised they couldn't work in one body, could not stay as one soul because they were greater than that, deserving of two bodies and two minds. Viktor had parts of Jayce, his pale skin was what remained when Jayce was given a life by the fire. Jayce held Viktor's heart inside his chest, beating for them both with the intensity of a dying star. Their souls were sacred, truly living and breathing when they were close, scorching their skins with the strength of the universe and setting into motion as they found each other.
They were inseparable, Jayce following behind Viktor, intently listening to his every word as if he were figuring out the secrets of life, looking at him as if he were the most beautiful part of the rotten world. Viktor sought Jayce in the late evenings, his thin frame melting into the warmth of Jayce´s body, his mind soothing and settling back into place, the gears smoothly whirling and allowing himself to be vulnerable, opening his chest to Jayce. They were constantly close, thoughtlessly invading each other's personal space until nothing like that existed.
Rumours began to follow them, latching onto their skin and whispering echoing with their steps. Voices stuck to their backs and pinched their ears as gazes tracked their frames as if they were both animals presented behind a fence.
Come to take a look, everyone. You might never see something like this again. Examine them, shamelessly track them down. What are they? I've heard they are dating. Nonsense. But their friendship seems a little off, doesn't it? What are they? We don't know but we like to make things up. It's fun. What do we care they might hear?
The gossip died at the end of the year, quieting down and drowning in the excitement of holidays and the fears of upcoming exams, but got resurrected at the very start of the first month of university, never dying, too strong to be put down and buried deep into the cold ground.
Viktor had been indifferent to all the rumours, already used to harsh words and noisy questions as they followed him all his life, starting from the day he got his cane and worsening as he got older. They became part of his routine, part of the normalcy he knew. The students were one of his least problems, forgotten underneath the pile of everything else and leaving no real impact, too soft and too shallow compared to the bigotry.
Jayce didn't seem to mind either as his hands always found their way to Viktor´s back in the hallways, mindlessly leaning into his personal space, bordering on intimacy, and whispering excitedly into his ear. He was too bright and too popular to care, people loved him, preaching to him at every chance they got, trying to get a piece of Jayce for themselves, smiling at him and greeting the golden boy, letting his charm sway them and cradle their shameless talks about the two.
Viktor realised the students were somewhat jealous of their friendship. They were jealous of Viktor. The cripple, the quiet guy who had the least decency, the student from Czechia, a creature without any name or money to himself that somehow surpassed everyone at the Academy of London and pulled Jayce into his orbit. He sometimes wondered if Jayce knew, too and if he felt the same satisfaction as Viktor.
Viktor could not shake the prideful feelings, the smirks and the wretched excitement flowing through his veins when he found out the students were envious of his place. He greedily bathed in the knowledge, flowing through the carpeted hallways and reminding everyone he was better, he was more deserving. He knew Jayce more than he knew himself.
The friendship between him and Jayce was considered his greatest achievement along the lines of the students. It did not matter how smart he was, what he had done or if he was the top student in his classes, professors preaching his research and mind, because compared to Jayce Talis it was all meaningless to others.
Viktor was basically living their fantasies and no one cared about the meaning of their relationship. They could be anything and everyone would still talk. They could barely know each other and the Academy would be full of unabashed gossip and ugly snarls.
Viktor strode through the hall, the banging of his cane muffled by the carpeted floors, his bag overflowing with material and books, weighing his body down as he walked with only one task in his head - the library. He adjusted the bag on his shoulder, sighing as the strap dug into his skin.
He should buy a backpack. He should be doing more for his body instead of carelessly toying with nature and waiting for the day all his mindless actions would come falling on him, taking their debt. But Viktor liked to push his limits, testing the uncharted waters and learning how much more he could take, overstepping the lines drawn for him before he was born, graciously ignoring the laws of medicine and grinning like a madman when it brought him pleasure and pure ecstasy.
He would never allow his condition to take over, to become him instead of Viktor being it. He held his life in his hands and would not give up the steady grip, no matter how it burned his fingers and how many times it seemed to slip. Viktor had control. He had the privilege of carving out his life and future with his calloused hands.
Viktor´s phone buzzed in his pocket. And then again. The third time meant it was Jayce - no one ever texted him and if they did, it started with one message and ended exactly there, not bothering to make a longer conversation because Viktor did not bother, either.
Jayce was already waiting for Viktor and now he was bugging him in the texts, probably annoyed he had to wait.
Viktor grinned at that idea.
The door to the library flung open, the librarian giving Viktor a disapproving look as he hardly smiled at her, offering a peace treaty to the woman with the bare minimum. His eyes shot to her frame before he focused back on the same path he had taken through the library since knowing Jayce.
Viktor dropped his bag with a loud bang, thankfully sinking into the chair and leaning against it, stretching out his legs and sighing. He massaged his shoulder, frowning as he felt his muscles fight back under his steady fingers.
“You should stop carrying so much stuff with you,” Jayce said without looking up from his phone, barely trying to keep his voice low.
“Easier said than done, Talis.”
Jayce raised his eyebrow and put the phone down, crossing his arms as he overlooked the other.
“Have you read the texts I sent you?” he asked instead, knowing too well fighting Viktor over this was meaningless.
Viktor cocked his head vaguely, rolling his shoulder as his hand slipped down and into the pocket of his trousers, taking out his phone.
“I thought you were just losing your mind over me not being here, yet,” he grinned, his eyes glancing from the screen.
“Karaoke?” Viktor asked unbelievably after a single beat of silence, furrowing his brows as he looked at Jayce with disapproval plastered over his face.
He read those texts again, wishing he was wrong.
The other grinned, nodding eagerly. Sometimes, Viktor had the urge to smack the extrovert out of him with his cane.
“No,” he said sharply, glancing between the screen and Jayce as if that could help him.
“Fuck no,” Viktor repeated, shaking his head. He set the phone aside and considered the debate over, already taking out his notes and laptop.
Jayce whined and Viktor shot him a warning look. To his bad luck, Jayce grew accustomed to that, choosing to ignore the obvious and standing his ground.
“It could be fun, V!” he leaned over the table, looking at Viktor like a lost puppy.
Viktor wished he could be as ignorant as Jayce when it came to this but the sight presented across him was causing his standpoint to crumble.
“Jayce, I have midterms. I need to study,” Viktor said weakly, trying to come up with any excuse that would get him out of this.
“Bullshit. You wouldn't study.”
Viktor sighed theatrically, pinching the bridge of his nose.
He wasn't giving in. Viktor was doing his master's degree, trying to balance everything out, carefully choosing his next steps as all the work and studies seemed to pile up without any halt. Karaoke night was the last thing that could somehow help him with it. A fully packed place with drunk students was not on the list of ideas that could ease his nerves.
But he found himself considering it. A little part of him, the foolish one, was giving in. It was effortless for Jayce to convince Viktor when he easily wielded his strengths while nothing Viktor fought back with worked.
It did not take Viktor long to figure out he wasn't resistant to Jayce Talis. Not as much as he would have liked.
“I'm not going to a karaoke.”
Viktor opened his laptop but Jayce immediately closed it, almost squeezing Viktor's fingers in it. He opened his mouth, pointing at Jayce, ready to snap at him but Jayce was faster.
Viktor could not believe he had the nerve to grin and give him the pleading look.
“Vik, please. You'll have fun, I promise. Caitlyn and Vi are already going and I-” Jayce bit the inside of his cheek, averting his gaze and clearing his throat. The rest of his sentence died on his tongue.
“What did you do?” Viktor hissed, narrowing his eyes.
Jayce rubbed the back of his neck, shifting in the chair as his smile turned to a nervous one. At least Jayce was the worst liar Viktor had the privilege of knowing and there never was any occasion where Viktor could not tell he wasn't telling the truth. After a while, Jayce stopped pushing his luck. It was pointless because Viktor could always tell.
The lying quickly shifted to blabbering and apologetic looks as Jayce figured it wasn't his strength. Viktor saw through him like he were a glass.
“I already told them you're going. They reserved the seats,” Jayce whispered.
Viktor straightened his back.
God, Jayce would be the death of him.
“Then tell them I changed my mind.”
Viktor flipped open the laptop once more, this time carefully, while his eyes remained fixed on Jayce in case he felt the impulse to break the bones in his fingers again. He waited as the screen hummed to life, logged in and opened his essay, glad this was over.
But with Jayce, nothing was ever over, not when he wanted something from Viktor.
“I want you there,” Jayce muttered after a while, fiddling with his fingers and glancing between the table to Viktor.
Viktor's fingers froze on the keyboard, his eyes glued to the screen as his mind went into overdrive, trying to figure out the simple words, dissecting each letter, and fighting the irrational part that was telling Viktor they indicated more than they were initially supposed to.
Sometimes, Viktor caught himself wondering what their friendship meant. He hardly had any friends but he wasn't blind, he knew more than enough to know how they behaved around each other. But he and Jayce were somehow above that, their relationship was everything and nothing, it was between the lines and over the lines, they were friends but they were also more than just that.
Viktor thought that whatever they had between each other could not be put into words and could never be explained because no one had the dictionary for that. They were too much and too little. They were too close but too far. They were the middle but also the ending and the beginning. They were the past and the future, living in the present with everything they could.
Viktor had no idea how to grasp the meaning of it and sculpt it in his hands just so he could give it a shape with a name, just to stop his mind from buzzing and overthinking. It was maddening, not knowing, not understanding the strands connecting them.
He caught himself wondering about it, again.
“Vik?”
He hummed, jerking his head and blinking, trying to get himself back to Jayce and the problem at hand.
“You want me there?” he asked, unsure.
Maybe he heard it wrong. After all, it took him a second to realise the question was meant for him. Perhaps his mind swapped the letters and changed the meaning completely.
“Yeah, of course I do. I don't want to go without you.”
Jayce smiled, so softly and honestly Viktor's heart skipped a beat. The rawness of it thrown right at him with fierce gentleness opened his chest.
Here. Look. Take it. It's beating for you, anyway.
Viktor huffed out through his nose.
“What time is it?” he heard himself asking.
He gave in so easily.
Jayce Talis. He was the end of Viktor. He was the scorching heat and the ringing of church bells. He was the sun. He was the thoughts gnawing at Viktor's mind late at night when there was nothing to do but think, body burning and images swirling.
“I'll send you the information. We can meet there.”
Jayce beamed, snatching his phone as Viktor watched him helplessly.
He could go to his dorm earlier. It wasn't required for him to stay there until the end. He could endure the crowd and the heated room for an hour and then leave.
This was the worst idea.
Viktor couldn't believe it. He was dressed in one of his best shirts, a sweater that didn't have any stains or holes from his experiments and black trousers, standing outside the pub and waiting for Jayce. The music came in muffled sounds through the windows and the obnoxiously loud voices were enough for Viktor to reconsider his sanity and turn around.
He was going through his phone, checking his exams, tapping his leg and clutching his cane when he heard his name.
“Viktor! Hey!”
His gaze moved from the screen, his hand slipping the phone into a pocket and his lips forcing out a smile. Caitlyn and Vi were following behind, holding hands and talking as if Jayce wasn't there.
“Jayce,” he sighed, meeting them halfway.
“Viktor! My favourite grumpy student!” Vi exclaimed and pulled him into a hug. Viktor huffed, cringing as he felt his breath leave his lungs for a split second. He carefully patted her back.
“Vi, good to see you.”
Viktor did not match their excitement in the slightest, not trying to.
Was it too late to tell them he was going home? Perhaps he could excuse himself. Oh, sorry, my damn leg. It's acting up again but you guys enjoy it without me.
Vi pulled away, holding him by his shoulders, her grip stronger than Jayce´s. She slightly shook him and Viktor fought the urge to hit her with his cane.
“Excited?” Vi asked, grinning mischievously which caused Viktor's stomach to twist. That look never meant anything good.
It definitely never meant anything good when Viktor was around.
He glanced at Jayce, completely at loss.
Jayce smiled and his golden hand found its way to Vi´s shoulder, squeezing it slightly.
“Come on. Let's go inside, it's freezing,” Jayce said and it worked magic because Vi immediately let Viktor go, his body relaxing as he was freed, leaning onto his cane.
Viktor appreciated Vi but at times she could be a little too much, overly energetic for his liking.
“Nice point,” she said, pointing at Jayce.
Vi took Caitlyn by her hand, pulling her inside without a word and as they passed him, Viktor nodded at Caitlyn in a silent greeting. She shot him an apologetic smile.
Viktor breathed out, massaging his forehead. He already had enough and the evening didn't even begin.
He felt Jayce´s warm hand on his back, sneaking under the jacket, softly nudging him. He walked Viktor to the pub as his fingers traced his spine - almost as if he were counting each vertebra, trying to feel the metal hidden underneath his skin.
Viktor's body involuntarily melted into the touch, seeking something familiar.
“Good?” Jayce asked, drowning the words in amusement.
“As good as one can be,” Viktor answered with sarcasm.
The inside was packed, there was sound everywhere, seeping to each corner and latching onto Viktor, scraping his ears and gnawing at his skin. It was an inescapable mess of bodies and drinks and music and Viktor wished he had never agreed to come. He wasn't good with crowds, he loathed it, having problems with keeping his nerves in check as his mind throbbed and needles bounced off the walls of his skull.
Jayce sat him down to their table, giving Viktor one last reassuring pat on his back before his hand retreated and Viktor found himself missing the touch almost immediately.
They ordered drinks. Viktor had to start with a shot of vodka if he wanted to stay sane and he downed it as soon as the glass touched the table, asking for another two and a mojito.
Soon, they were all tipsy and their laughter and voices mixed in with the others, Viktor relaxing into the space as the alcohol worked on his mind and made his thoughts a little slurred. Intoxication did wonders.
Vi went to the podium, singing her lungs out to a song Viktor hardly knew and then coaxed Caitlyn to join her, choosing an overly sweet love song for them.
He got swayed by the energy, Jayce´s hand resting on Viktor's thigh and squeezing him ever so slightly, fingers running up and down his leg and mindlessly discovering his inner part.
Viktor didn't care, he hardly minded the attention. He couldn't figure out if Jayce knew what he was doing or if it was another tick of his, touching Viktor at every chance he got, unable to keep his golden, warm hands to himself when Viktor was around, only worsening with the alcohol, breaking all the restraints Jayce had when he was sober.
He didn't push the fingers away nor shift from the touch, instead drowning in the sensation and smiling as every trace sent bolts through his body and a pool of heat to his stomach, leaning closer to the other as if magnets pulled them together, unable to resist the field and fight against it.
Viktor would be a fool to bring awareness to it.
Jayce briefly squeezed his thigh, stronger as if he were reassuring himself of something.
“Okay!” Jayce slammed his hands on the table and Viktor's eyes shot to him, eyebrows raising in a silent question.
“My turn now,” he said and pushed himself from the chair, Viktor watching him as he took Viktor's shot and gulped it down, scrunching his nose.
Jayce stumbled to the podium while Vi cheered him on, easily surpassing the sounds in the pub, maniacally waving her hands in the air and almost jumping in the chair.
Jayce took the microphone, leaning down to type in the song, narrowing his eyes as he focused, subtly swaying on his feet.
Viktor saw the grin when he found it. Jayce licked his lips, straightening his back and wiping his hand over his jeans.
Jayce´s gaze found him in the dimly lit room, boring into Viktor with his glazed eyes, the honey colour burning bright and setting Viktor´s skin ablaze.
Oh god.
Oh god, no.
“This one is for you,” Jayce said to the microphone, rolling his shoulders and Viktor slid down the chair, hiding from the others as much as he could.
Jayce put the song on, cocking his shoulders to the rhythm, using his hands.
Viktor had a hard time believing what was happening.
Jayce put on If I Was Your Boyfriend.
He felt his cheeks burn and he had to hide his face, groaning softly as Jayce sang to the rhythm, his voice unwavering, his tongue rolling over the lyrics with surprising ease as his warm eyes stuck on Viktor's frame.
Viktor melted into the chair. He wished he could disappear and never think about this.
He wished his heart did not beat fast, trying to get out of his chest, fighting Viktor and setting his blood into a quick pace.
He wished his cheeks didn't burn and his lips didn't turn up in a smile.
His idea of a love confession was far from whatever Jayce was doing but he would lie if he said he didn't like it. It was Jayce Talis and nothing like a small, private gesture existed to him.
It was Jayce Talis, the golden boy, the popular guy, drunk out of his mind, tipsy on the podium, swaying on his feet and dancing to the song, singing to Viktor and confessing to a full room.
It was Jayce Talis and Viktor found himself immersed, his hands slid down a little, his eyes meeting Jayce´s.
“If I was your boyfriend, never let you go.” Jayce pointed at Viktor, grinning.
“He's good, right?” Vi leaned to Viktor over the table and he jumped at the closeness, shooting her a look. She had the same mischievous smile plastered over her face as before.
Viktor opened his mouth but found himself at a loss of words. He nodded, swallowing, the lyrics boring into his skin and setting everything on fire.
He wasn't dumb. He could put two and two together. They planned this. Jayce planned this.
Jayce wanted to confess to Viktor.
God, Jayce wanted him.
As the song ended, Jayce waved to the whole room, bowing to the cheers and grinning wide.
What was Viktor supposed to do?
He watched the other as he crossed the room, hands shaking and heart beating in his ears. Viktor was nervous. Of course, he was. How could anyone stay calm in a situation like this?
Jayce sat down, beaming as he tilted his head to the side.
“So?” he asked and Viktor watched him.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
He licked his lips.
“So?” Viktor repeated, his world squeezing into Jayce.
Jayce chuckled and reached for Viktor's hand, intertwining their fingers.
“Would you like me as your boyfriend?”
I would like you as anything, Jayce Talis.
Viktor couldn't come up with a single sentence. He opened his mouth but the words got stuck. His tongue flickered over his bottom lip.
If words failed him, maybe his actions wouldn't.
Viktor huffed and leaned in, crushing their lips together, feeling Jayce´s hand bring him closer by his neck, the soft lips kissing Viktor back, meeting him with the same desire and need.
He groaned into the kiss, slipping his tongue inside Jayce´s mouth, tasting the sweet cocktails and the hint of vodka, exploring every inch. His hand clutched Jayce´s shirt, bringing him impossibly close.
He wanted to melt into Jayce, he wanted to take him.
Jayce´s fingers tangled in the strands on his nape, tugging at them.
“Guys, ew. We are in the public.” Vi´s voice brought Viktor back to reality and he immediately drew away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, averting his gaze.
He didn't care as much as he should.
Viktor glanced at Jayce and the slight blush on his cheeks would soon become Viktor's favourite shade of red.
“You planned this,” Viktor said almost accusatory.
Jayce shrugged.
“Maybe. But it worked, didn't it?”
“Worked a bit too much,” Caitlyn said, eyeing them both.
Viktor hummed, thinking.
He leaned in for another kiss, softer and tender.
Viktor would never get enough.
“You're going to my dorm tonight, Jayce. I'll show you how good it worked,” he whispered when he pulled back, feeling Jayce´s grip on his hand tighten. Jayce´s breath hitched.
“God, Viktor.”
“You can sing a different song,” Viktor smirked and pulled away, enjoying the look on Jayce´s face.
Vi and Caitlyn suspiciously eyed them both and Viktor shrugged at that.
Jayce wasn't the only one with an ace up his sleeve.
And Viktor would show him.
He would show Jayce what the meaning of a boyfriend was.
Viktor softly hummed the rhythm as Jayce´s hand found its way back to his thigh.