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Ajax was a free woman, finally. She had spent three months in jail for assaulting a cop that posed as a fucking abuser in the park at night. Still, three months was nothing compared to how long she could have stayed there if Masai and the Riff hadn’t found her a very good lawyer. Rembrandt, Cochise, Cowgirl and Cleon had visited her at least one time each during her time in jail. Rembrandt was the one who told her about Fox’s death and how it happened. The tagger had tried to hide how lost and alone she felt with Fox gone and Ajax in jail but Ajax knew her and she knew Rembrandt probably didn’t go back to the place they shared with Fox. She wouldn’t have either. Ajax didn’t talk about Fox to anyone after that, but the youngest Warrior was always at the back of her mind.
Cleon had come to accompany Ajax back home. They talked for a bit about what the Warriors had been up to since the night from hell, dodging the subject of Fox’s death as best as they could until Cleon told Ajax that everyone was glad she was coming home.
“Not everyone, not Fox” was Ajax's only response. Cleon stayed silent the rest of the way back to Coney. She knew Ajax would hold Swan responsible for Fox since she was the one in command that night. Cleon had listened to every Warriors’ version of that night and everything that happened. She knew the reunion would be hard.
As soon as Ajax and Cleon stepped inside the apartment, the enforcer went straight to Swan, standing in front of her in a matter of seconds, one hand gripping her collar, the other clenched at her side. Swan grabbed the wrist of the hand holding her.
Everyone that was cheering for Ajax returns not a second ago, just stood there looking at them. The tension in the room was suffocating. Mercy tried to move toward Ajax to get her off Swan, but Rembrandt stopped by putting a calm hand on her shoulder and shaking her head no. Rembrandt had seen Swan and Ajax fight enough time to know not to get between them when they were like that.
Swan stared at Ajax with detachment, looked at the rest of the gang and whispered "Not here". Ajax understood and nodded her head, still clearly very mad. Swan let go of her wrist and announced to the room that they were going for a walk. Everyone looked at both of them confused or disappointed to see them fight. "We need to talk alone" added Ajax just before walking out the door, Swan on her heels. No one followed them.
They walked for a bit until they reached a place they thought no one would come to. They stared at each other, Ajax eyes filled with rage and Swan seemingly resigned to let this happen. “Go on.” Swan said, her arms by her side. Ajax pounced on Swan, wrapping her arms around Swan’s midriff, both of them falling from their combined weight. Ajax sat on top of Swan, pinning her arms down with her legs. The enforcer's fist connected with Swan's nose first, a cracking sound resonating around them. Swan winced but did nothing to free herself.
Ajax punched her again and again, blood splashing on her fist and the pavement. Swan's ears were ringing, she was trying her best to let Ajax have it. All her instinct told her to fight back, to run, to do something but she just laid there, taking all the anger Ajax had in her until the beating stopped. Ajax was still on top of her looking at her beat up face with so much fear and grief and anger and incomprehension. Ajax released Swan’s arms from underneath her and shook her shoulders. "Do something" Ajax screamed in he second of command's face "Fucking do something". The hold on Swan's shoulder was surprisingly not that strong so Swan did the only thing she could think of that didn’t involve Ajax taking a trip to the hospital. She freed her arms and wrapped them around Ajax's body. Taken by surprise, the enforcer fell on Swan. She tried to get away and Swan just held on with more force. Tears formed in Ajax eyes and she laid here, her fist bleeding the rage in her heart melting away as another harder to deal with emotion surfaced, grief.
"There's nothing more we can do." said Swan stoic, still holding the other girl. Ajax clung to Swan's shirt and let a few tears silently fall as everything she had pushed away since she learned of Fox's death came flooding. They laid there on the concrete under a shitty bridge just existing for a few seconds. Swan closed her eyes, her face was hurting so much but she deserved it for everything she made the others go through. She held Ajax closer to her because nothing she could do would be enough, nothing would bring back Fox and erase the night of nightmares.
After a few seconds of silence sometimes broken by choked up sobs, Ajax freed herself from Swan's hold and stood up. She turned her back to Swan and whipped away the tears still on her cheeks, hiding any trace of emotion left in her. Swan sat up and looked at Ajax’s back.
“I can't trust you to protect anyone anymore.” Ajax's voice was neutral as if she was simply stating facts.
“I know.”
“I can't let her stay with the warriors if you're second in command.” Ajax was afraid to let Rembrandt stay with them if Swan was in charge and Swan understood.
“I know.”
Ajax started walking back. “You fucked it bad, Swan.”
“I know” this time it was as a whisper, for herself. Swan stood up and followed Ajax from a small distance.
The walk towards Cleon and Swan's apartment was quiet. They didn't have anything else to say, silence was better. Cleon was talking with Cochise in the kitchen and Mercy was in Swan's room but everyone else had left a while ago. Once Cochise saw the two women were back she excused herself and left, not without staring at Swan's beat up face. Cleon watched her second in command and enforcer walk into the apartment with a disappointed look. “Swan, go clean up your face, we'll see if you need stitches. Ajax, come sit with me.” Cleon's orders were undiscussable and both girls did as demanded. Ajax sat down in front of Cleon and started to talk but Cleon stopped her. “We'll wait til Swan is back. I need to yell at both of you.” Ajax stayed silent.
Swan came back after a few minutes, her nose was crooked, her lips busted and Mercy had stitched up her eyebrow and given her a cold compress to put on her jaw. Ajax looked a bit guilty after seeing her but quickly hid it and looked back at Cleon. Swan stood in the doorway.
“I know you're both smarter than that. What the fuck was that?” Cleon asked in a firm tone, but didn’t let anyone answer before continuing “Yes, emotions are running high these days, but do you really think beating up each other is the solution? Don't the cops do it enough for you? I don't need my enforcer to fuck up my second in command! You both need to figure it out, and quickly.”
Ajax spoke up “What we need is for anyone else to be your second in command. Fox died because Swan couldn't do her job.” Swan stayed silent looking at the floor.
Cleon looked into Ajax’s eyes, clearly not happy “Do you really think that? Did you think that maybe if you hadn't got arrested things would have been different? I will forever be sorry for not being with all of you that night but from what I heard Swan did everything she could in the worst situation imaginable.”
“I can't trust her, Cleon!” Ajax was yelling “How can I trust she can protect Rembrandt and everyone else if she couldn't even bring them all back home? I cannot stay with you if you keep her as your right hand man! She herself knows she can't do it” Ajax had stood up, hands on the table staring at Cleon.
Cleon looked at Swan waiting for her to speak. She did, in a small voice very uncharacteristic of her “She's right Cleon. I told them I would bring them home alive and I failed. I'm not you, I can't lead them.” Cleon exhaled and stood up going to the coffee machine, making herself the strongest coffee she could. She came back calmer and looked at Ajax.
“I need to talk to Swan alone.” Ajax started to talk but once again Cleon stopped her “She will stay my second in command unless she really doesn't want to. I still trusted her and you'll need to learn to do the same again. Go see Rembrandt, sleep it off. We'll discuss everything tomorrow.” Ajax walked towards the door, frustrated “And Ajax?” The enforcer turned to look at Cleon “Don't ever beat up a member of our gang again especially if they don’t fight back or you'll regret it.” Ajax left slamming the door.
Cleon passed a hand in her hair and took a sip of her coffee. “C'mere” she said to Swan, who hadn't moved yet. Swan closed the distance between the door and the table but stayed standing.
“It doesn't sound like you to let Ajax fuck you up and do nothing.”
Swan shrugged “I deserved it”
“No you didn't. That night, when we came home and we talked, just the two of us. I hadn't seen you that scared since the day we found you. You did everything you could, Swan.”
“It wasn't enough”
“It was. Fox gave her life for you all to come back. It wasn't your decision. It was hers. She did what she thought was best, as you all did that night. Fox fought that cop cause she trusted you to bring the other home alive and you did. You have to stop beating yourself up for what could have been and live goddamn it. Give yourself the right to be happy, it won't erase the happiness Fox had.”
Swan's jaw clenched and she looked into Cleon's eyes for the first time that night “I don't know how. I feel guilty everytime I start feeling happy because Fox will never feel that again. We will never hear her laugh or talk about her comic book or snore when someone says dumb shit. She was just a kid, Cleon.” Tears filled Swan's eyes “What kind of fucked up world do we live in where a kid needs to die for us to make it home?”
“I wish I could help you” Cleon's voice was soft and tired. “It will be hard, but we have to live, for Fox, for Cyrus, for everyone we lost. You know more than anyone that nothing can be undone, we just have to live with the consequence.” Swan sat down, her head in her hands. “Like I said before I still trust you to be my second in command. Ajax said things in anger, you know how she is. I know the love and respect you both have for each other. She will trust you again.” Cleon took one of Swan’s hands, forcing Swan to look at her. “Tell me, do you really want to step out of your position?” Cleon asked sincerely.
Swan looked into the eyes of the woman that took her in and protected her for years. She held onto her hand. “I wanna stay by your side Cleon. I will do better, please keep me as your second in command.” Cleon had a small smile. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
They chatted a bit more around a cup of coffee talking about life like old friends do. A heavy weight lifted from Swan’s shoulder. When she went to her room to sleep, Mercy hugged her for a long moment.
The day after Ajax had come back from jail, she heard a knock on hers and Rembrandt's door. She tried her best to not wake the tagger up while getting up. She was still in her clothes from the night before. She opened the door on a sleep deprived Cleon.
“Walk with me”, Cleon demanded. Ajax took the time to write a note to Rembrandt before putting her shoes on and following the leader.
Cleon spoke first. “You must know that I’m not very happy about last night.” Ajax nodded. “Ajax, I’ve known you for longer than most anyone with us. I know you don’t really wanna leave the Warriors. More than that, I know you don’t really think what you said about Swan yesterday. She’s still my second in command. So what now?”
Ajax looked at Cleon. “If I left, Rembrandt would follow me and I know she doesn’t want to leave. It wouldn’t be right. But I really don’t know if I can ever trust Swan like I did before. Something broke.”
Cleon put her arm around Ajax's shoulder as they walked. Instinctively Ajax wrapped an arm around Cleon’s waist. “They say time heals all wounds. Maybe it can help your relationship with Swan. Maybe someday we’ll be able to think about Fox without it hurting as much. All I know is that I’m tired and in no way ready to lose any more of you. So I’m glad you’re staying.”
They continued walking and eventually made their way back to Ajax and Rembrandt’s apartment. “I’m glad I’m staying too.” Ajax said before going inside, making Cleon smile.