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Buck had Bobby’s number memorised.
It was more of a conscious decision than he would like to admit. It was embarrassing to say that he had purposefully learned his boss’ number off by heart the same way a child would learn their parent’s, but it’s the truth.
But even if he hadn’t, Buck was sure that now he was calling Bobby nightly, those digits would’ve engraved themselves into his head anyway.
Bobby was extremely nice about the whole ‘I need to call you in the middle of the night or I’ll spiral and think I’m dying’ thing, even if Buck refused to explain why Bobby was the person he was the most worried about.
He’d call Maddie sometimes, ask about Chimney just to make sure she knew who Chimney was. Or he’d call Eddie and ask about Christopher, make sure both of them remembered him and the many nights they had spent together.
Most of the time though, it was Bobby.
Buck had apologised the first few times, both on call and during their next shift, but he had been brushed off instantly, and honestly he felt less guilty about the late night calls when they went unmentioned.
Often times though, he wasn’t in the mental state to go down that train of thought, instead just clicking on Bobby’s contact without hesitation and waiting for an answer with held breath.
Like tonight.
“Bobby?”
“Hey kid” Bobby’s voice was instantly soothing to hear, a level of perfectly imperfect that convinced Buck he was real. He sounded tired.
Despite the reassurance that Bobby was alive, Buck still had to ask. “Are you okay? Are you hurt? You’re at home, right?”
“I’m at home,” Bobby said calmly. God bless Bobby Nash, honestly, Buck didn’t know where he would be without him. “I was in bed, and now I’m sitting on the couch. There’s a fire on. It’s warm.”
Buck knew what that was - a prompt. Bobby’s way of gently nudging Buck to be aware of his surroundings without making him feel like a child. God bless Bobby Nash.
“I’m in bed,” Buck took a deep breath in, then out, slowly managing to unclench his still shaking hands. “I think a poster fell when I was sleeping.”
“What else?”
“I uh, my throat is dry”
“That’s because you snore” Bobby teased, his gentle smile audible even over the phone. Buck huffed a little but continued instead of trying to argue. He did snore. Badly.
“It’s cold. I haven’t paid my heating bill”
“Why not?” Bobby had that mixture of calm and grounding but also concerned down to a t. Buck breathed out a shaky breath.
“I mean, I’ve paid it but I paid it late so they already turned it off and they can’t turn it on until tomorrow” The words came out in a jumble, the ends merging into the starts and being incomprehensible at points, but Bobby could always understand him.
“Ah, sounds tough” Sympathetic and validating as usual. “You’re free to come over and revel in the heat of our fireplace for a bit”
Buck blinked a few times, too taken aback by the offer to realise that his breathing had calmed significantly.
“Like right now?”
“If you want,” Bobby kept his voice gentle, low as to not wake Athena but still kind and grounding. “Our doors always open for you, kid”
And while phone calls helped, while they calmed his racing heart and allowed his lungs to fill with oxygen again, something in Buck soared at the idea of seeing Bobby, of really making sure he was okay.
“I’ll be ten minutes,”
“Should you be driving?” Bobby asked almost instantly. Bobby was a good dad, and that didn’t stop when he wasn’t around his kids, the elements of parenthood shining through his every action. “Stay there, kid, I’ll come get you”
“I- are you sure?”
“Sit back down, I’m coming
Buck walked down to meet Bobby, figuring that his Captain had already driven ten minutes to meet him so the least he could do was walk down some stairs, even if it made his leg ache. It was raining. His leg always acted up when it was raining.
He jogged to the car, getting into it quickly and ruffling his now wet hair. “You didn’t have to do this”
Bobby started driving again almost instantly, one hand reaching across the car to ruffle Buck’s hair for the second time. “Don’t worry about it.” He glanced over Buck for a second and had him figured out in an instant. “Push your seat back, you can stretch out your leg”
Buck didn’t bother arguing, knowing that Bobby was right and that keeping his knee bent really wouldn’t help. So, he pulled the lever beneath the seat to release the seat lock and pushed it backward.
They continued the drive in silence, Buck stumbling his way out of the car when they parked and trying to pretend that Bobby’s hand on his arm wasn’t extremely grounding and helpful.
“You want a change of clothes?” Bobby offered as they made their way inside, his hand rubbing soothingly up and down Buck’s arm. Buck didn’t need it, exactly, but it was appreciated.
“Okay” He let Bobby walk him over to the lit fireplace and slowly sat down in front of it, staring at the flames as they devoured the wood and coal beneath it.
“Coal is bad for the environment” He pointed out as Bobby went to find him clothes. Bobby paused, tilted his head just slightly, then nodded.
“I’ll change it tomorrow then” And he was gone, disappearing into another room for a minute or two and leaving Buck alone with his thoughts.
He liked Bobby’s house. Bobbys house was nicer than his. Bobbys house was home.
“I’ve got a pair of your sweatpants but no shirt, so you’re stealing a hoodie tonight”
Buck took the clothes that were tossed to him, having no shame in getting changed right there. They had glass walls in their locker rooms. There was no privacy in the 118.
“You warm now?” Bobby asked, sitting down beside a now dry Buck and putting an arm around him. Buck slumped into it and nodded. It wasn’t often that he got chances for physical affection, so he revelled in it every time.
”Leg out. It’ll cramp up otherwise” Buck huffed slightly but followed the advice, stretching his leg out with a small groan.
They sat in silence for a while, leaning against each other and watching the fire slowly die.
“You were dead” Buck admitted eventually, not bothering to elaborate more. Bobby would understand. He always did.
“I figured,” Was Bobby’s only reply. He leaned forward to put some wood on the fire then sat back down.
“I don’t want you to die”
“I won’t, kid” Bobby pulled him close, practically pinning him against his side in a tight half hug that Buck melted into.
“Y’promise?”
Bobby looked down, meeting Buck’s eyes with a softer look than he usually let himself wear. Buck deflated.
“I’m not leaving you, Buck. Ever.”
Buck was throwing himself into Bobby’s arms without a second thought.
They stayed there until morning.