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There was always this dreary feeling that Guren Ichinose would get around Christmas time. Even though it had been a few years since the events that sent the world into utter turmoil, only Guren knew exactly what that day meant. For everyone else, it was the day the world ended, for Guren… It was the day that would haunt him for the rest of his life. Though, he would place a smile right onto his face and continue to act as if nothing was wrong. As if nothing had happened. Snow was starting to cover the ground, and the temperature was dropping at all times.
Everyone within the Japanese Imperial Demon Army had made a point to try and make it a good day. That no one thought of what the day truly meant. Sometimes, he didn’t see the appeal to it, but he understood it. No one wanted to see the dark side of things. They wanted to make something good come out of something so dark and tragic. In their world, all they could do was grasp onto the people around them and not let go.
Even as the others would notice the change in his mood, they never fully questioned him about it. He couldn’t speak on it. That was something that he couldn’t do. They could never know. He didn’t want to lose them again. It was a burden that he alone had to carry, and he was okay with that. His own friends were among the ones that tried to make the day into something better. He would sit there and watch them with a slight smile on his face. He loved seeing their smiles. Hearing their laughter. It made him feel good even through the darkness that lingered over him. That was all that he wanted.
They were setting up for their own little party. It was something that they wanted to do every year, and Guren just sat on the side lines as they did it and helped whenever they needed it. Sayuri enjoyed making a large meal for them that they would all sit around and eat together. The six of them. Just like they normally would do. Lights would be strung and lit up and used as the lighting for the night. The others even made efforts to get gifts for each other. Guren did too whenever he found something that he knew they would like or enjoy. It wasn’t that hard to find something.
What they didn’t know was that it was just a big reminder for him. Guren would sit in silence and try not to think about what his own actions had caused. Because, at the end of the day, he had gotten exactly what he had wanted out of it. To see their smiles again. Guren would do anything to make sure those smiles never faded.
Guren walked through the snow-covered streets. Kicking up snow with his boots occasionally as he kept his hands dug deep into his pockets to help keep them warm despite his gloves. It was so quiet on the street right now. Everyone would be with their loved ones. Their friends. Their Squads. Anyone that they had made connections with throughout the time after the world had ended. His friends should already be at the house and starting up their own night. Most likely, they would wait for him to arrive. He was just… taking his time. Guren just wanted his mind to be a bit more clear before he got there. Even after all this time, he still couldn’t get that to go away long enough to truly enjoy himself. It felt like he was trapped in a never-ending cycle that he couldn’t dig himself out of.
Guren had gotten back home a lot faster than he would have hoped as he looked up at the home. They all lived together as a squad. It just worked better. Not only to make sure they were semi-close together as an Army for convenience but also it did feel nice to have his friends around. Though, he doubted that no matter where he lived, Sayuri and Shigure would definitely follow him.
Whenever he stepped inside, he could tell a difference between the cold of the outdoors and the nice warmth of the home. He slipped out of his snow-covered boots and put them into their normal spot as well as his top jacket before heading up the stairs. Guren was sure that they heard him come in. He could hear them quietly laughing away and joking around. He had caught the smell of curry and rice cooking and a few other things that Sayuri would be cooking. He had also caught the scent of chocolate. Guren had ignored it for a moment as he rushed up the stairs to go to his room.
Once he had gotten there, he clicked the door shut behind him and started to pull off his uniform. The others would have already switched out of theirs and into their normal day clothes. Guren was rarely out of uniform these days except to sleep. He was constantly working, so he didn’t see a need to not be in it most days. There wasn’t a day off for him.
Guren had decided to pick out a pair of nice-looking dark wash jeans, a new button up, and a sweater to go over it since it was cold out. If it had been warmer out, he probably would have picked a V-neck t-shirt and a shirt or jacket to throw over it but having a bit of warmth was nice. Plus, he did like sweaters. He slipped off the gloves that went with his uniform and put them to the side as he flexed his fingers a bit. They didn’t necessarily do much to combat the cold, but they did help. They weren’t specifically meant for fighting the elements. It was just a part of the uniform.
He ran his hands through his hair and soothed it back into place as he straightened his back. Why couldn’t he get his mind to stop racing for even just a moment? He hated this at times. Guren closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he adjusted his clothing. He had nearly jumped out of his skin whenever he felt arms loop around his waist and a chin hook onto his shoulder.
He heard a soft laugh and instinctively relaxed the second he realized exactly who it was. “You’re lost in your head if you didn’t realize I came in here.”
Guren smirked a bit, leaning back into the warmth of the other as he cracked his eyes open, “Sneaking into my bedroom now?”
“Do I need an excuse?” Guren turned his head and tilted it back to see Shinya grinning at him. The silvery-white haired man had a bright smile on his face and his blue eyes were twinkling. Maybe Guren had been so lost in his head that he didn’t realize that he had came in. “It’s never stopped me before.”
“And it never will.” Guren murmured as he turned and threw his arms over Shinya’s shoulders. Shinya’s smile only got a bit brighter as he leaned in and pressed his lips into Guren’s. Guren had felt that very familiar spark go up his back as he melted a bit more into it. It did feel like all the thoughts were being chased away.
Shinya’s hands had settled onto his hips for the moment as Shinya pulled back and gave him a look. “What’s on your mind?”
Guren shook his head, “Nothing.”
Shinya definitely didn’t believe him, but he wasn’t pushing him either. Shinya smiled a bit more and nudged his head, “Food is ready.”
Guren let out a soft breath as he nodded, “Okay.” He dropped his arms, and Shinya had almost immediately thrown one over his shoulder as they headed out of the room. Guren flipped the light out as they went. Shinya’s arm was warm. It was almost like a blanket of security for a moment as Guren found himself leaning towards the touch. Shinya never had to say a word. Him just being there was enough for him.
As they got to the small dining area, Shinya had dropped his arm, and they had moved to get to their normal spots. Guren could feel himself relaxing more with each passing second. Underneath the table, Shinya had reached over and placed his hand onto Guren’s knee. Guren reached down and placed his hand over his and gave a slight smile to Shinya.
Everything was always better with Shinya around.
They had gotten through the dinner. They had curry and rice like normal and a few other meal items that Sayuri had decided to make up. With their dinner, they had wine and hot chocolate was being made. Now, they had music playing and the others were off together and having their fun as Guren stepped out onto the porch. He had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders instead of going to get a jacket. He had slipped on some shoes at least as he stood out there. He could still hear the music playing. It was Christmas songs. The others were singing along to them as they danced around. Guren stood out there for a moment, leaning back against one of the pillars as he looked out to the snow-covered ground. He would find himself reaching out occasionally and dusting the snow off of the rail. The snow was falling again. So, it was leaving little flakes behind but bringing a curtain of white dusted sparkles lingering in the night air.
Guren could see the condensation of his breath in the air. The cold was hitting his heated skin, and it made it burn slightly in that location from the drop in temperature, but he just shrugged it off. Don’t let his mind race. That was all that he could really try and do.
He lifted his gaze as he heard the door slide open and he could hear a bit more of the music now. Shinya stepped out into the cold and closed the door behind him. “Off on your lonesome again.”
Guren just shrugged, “They are getting loud.” It was just a reasonable excuse, and it always tended to work. He’d head back in eventually. Shinya smiled at him as he walked over. Shinya was wearing his jacket and shoving his hands deep into his pockets as he looked around before looking to Guren. “Shouldn’t you be in there with them?”
“I could say the same for you.” Shinya shot back.
Okay, well played.
Guren shrugged a bit. “I guess.” Guren pulled the blanket a bit closer to himself as he found that aura falling over him again. There was a peacefulness that came with Shinya. “It’s just a nice night out.”
“It’s cold as Hell out here.” Shinya retorted.
“Hell is supposed to be flames.” Guren stated with a smirk.
Shinya laughed and shook his head. “Okay, you got me there.”
Guren shrugged slightly and laughed softly to himself. It was cold, but he preferred the cold over the heat anyway. “It’s not bad out.” Guren murmured.
The two of them had fallen into complete silence for a moment before Shinya had moved over to him and whispered, “Guren,” Shinya said as he held his hand out with a grin on his face. “Come here.”
Guren eyed his hand for a second before he did reach out and slipped his hand into Shinya’s. Shinya smiled and pulled Guren to him. He found that all the thoughts were seeping away once more as Shinya pulled him close. All he could feel was his warmth. The way that his chest rose and fell as Guren placed his head onto Shinya’s shoulder. Shinya wrapped an arm around him and adjusted the blanket slightly to make sure that it stayed on his shoulders. For a moment, they had started to just sway to the lightly playing music that they could hear.
Shinya’s hand ran up his back and traced patterns as he was doing it. Guren felt the tension of his body seeping out as he closed his eyes and kept moving around with him. Shinya pulled him a bit closer and flushed their bodies together. It felt like time was stopping for a moment and everything else had started to melt away. A soft smile kept playing on his face. The ways that Shinya could get to him without even trying.
Guren pulled back slightly and let the smile play on his face as Shinya kept moving with him. Shinya was keeping that bright smile on his face. It made a series of flutters erupt in his stomach as Guren murmured, “What are you doing?”
“Dancing, of course.” Shinya stated as he grabbed Guren’s hand and took a step back. Guren just followed the movement with a slight roll of his eyes as Shinya lifted his arm and he turned with it. If he really wanted too, all he had to do was step back and away but he didn’t want too. Guren found himself swaying a bit more too it. Guren lifted his arms up, throwing them over Shinya’s shoulders as Shinya’s hands found his waist again. “You aren’t complaining much.”
“Who said I would?” Guren murmured as he tilted his head back. He could see some of the flakes falling into Shinya’s hair. It was being masked by the color of his hair, but he could see exactly where they fell. Despite the dark of the night, the lights from inside had illuminated Shinya’s face. It was almost angelic looking.
Shinya smiled and leaned in and pressed a kiss into his lips as they swayed a bit more. Guren melted into the kiss and let his lips dance with Shinya’s. He gasped softly as he suddenly found his feet slipping out from beneath him and both him and Shinya went crashing into the snow on the ground. Guren’s back immediately went cold from suddenly hitting the snow. The kiss was broken as Shinya even looked dumbfounded for a second before he was laughing.
Shinya leaned up and braced an arm on the ground as he loomed over the top of Guren. Shinya’s gaze moved over his face for a moment as he whispered, “You’re so beautiful, Guren.” Shinya’s voice was so soft as he leaned down and brushed their lips once more. Guren felt that spark once more as his lips tingled from where Shinya’s lips grazed his own.
“Are you just going to keep staring at me or are you going to kiss me?” Guren whispered.
Shinya smirked as he leaned in and connected their lips. Guren smiled into it and lifted his arms. He left the blanket completely forgotten on the ground as he curled one arm over Shinya’s shoulders and the other he used to curl his fingers into Shinya’s hair. Their lips danced once more as Guren felt like the cold had gone away for a moment. The kiss was only brief by the time that they pulled apart. “Better?” Shinya whispered.
Guren let out a sharp laugh as he hummed, “Maybe.” He murmured back.
Guren smirked a bit as he quickly flipped the two of them over and found himself seated in Shinya’s lap. Shinya’s face didn’t change as Guren planted his hands down onto Shinya’s chest as the Majoy General placed his hands down onto Guren’s sides again. The touch was slightly cold from Shinya’s hands being outside, but he didn’t have a care in the world.
The two of them stayed like that for just a moment as Shinya reached up and ran the back of his finger over Guren’s cheek. The Lieutenant Colonel found himself following the movement as he leaned towards the touch. It always felt like fire was being ignited on his skin wherever Shinya would touch. No matter where it was.
Shinya moved his hand and reached up to place his hand onto the back of Guren’s head before pulling him down to connect their lips. There was always something about Shinya. Shinya knew just how to get to him. How to make the thoughts go away. He didn’t even have to try, and it just worked.
Shinya broke the kiss and leaned his forehead up into Guren’s as he murmured, “You know I’m not going anywhere, right?”
“You better not.” Guren said with a shake of his head, “I might have to resurrect you and kill you myself if you try.”
Shinya laughed it off and Guren found himself relaxing more as Shinya pulled him down into another short and brief kiss before Guren was rolling over onto his side and laying flush into Shinya’s side. They were still seated on the blanket now as Guren found himself looking up to the sky. It was so dark due to the clouds that the snow was falling from. He could see every single speck of snow that was falling and the pieces that were hitting them as they laid here. He should be cold, but all he felt was warmth. His head was resting against Shinya’s arm as the hand that was on the back of his head remained there and curled through his hair. Twisting the strands slightly and pulling away before repeating the action.
“I love you, Guren.” Shinya whispered.
Guren turned his head and looked back to Shinya’s face. The slight smile came back to his face again as Guren muttered back, “I love you.”
They never had to say it. Not a word had to be said between them. They just knew. Somehow, Shinya could know what he was thinking. Shinya knew exactly what to say to him. What to do. Guren was doing his best not to think about what this day really meant for him. It was Christmas. They had made it a tradition now.
Guren didn’t need anything. He didn’t need any materialistic gifts. All that he needed was right here with him. He had found himself just staring at Shinya’s smile. He would never get enough of it. He never wanted Shinya to lose that smile. That spark about him. Shinya filled him with this warmth that would never go away.
Guren turned over onto his side a bit more again as he leaned over just as Shinya turned his head. He connected their lips again. The sparks went through him as the warmth embraced his entire body. He didn’t need anything else.
All he needed was… Shinya.