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“You told me you had tea. Spill.” Buck dumped the groceries on Eddie’s counter. “And I got you everything you need for whatever chicken thing you have planned.” He looked over his shoulder at Eddie. “But I’m not convinced it’s gonna turn out.”
“Listen.” Eddie held up a hand. “I have a recipe. It will be fine.” Buck didn’t look convinced, but figured as long as he was around to help, it couldn’t go that badly.
“I’ll supervise.” Buck finally remarked, watching Eddie prepare the ingredients. “Now tell me what you overheard about us.”
“So, I was at dispatch-”
“Why were you at dispatch?” Buck interrupted. Eddie took a breath.
“Because I was talking to Linda. Does it matter?” Eddie’s face voiced his vexation for him.
“Why were you talking to Linda?” Buck didn’t even register Eddie’s annoyance.
“It doesn’t matter.” Eddie enunciated each word. “I was at dispatch and I overheard that there is a bet about us.”
“A BET!” Buck exploded. He was eating pieces of potato as Eddie cut them.
“You eat that raw?” Eddie was, frankly, disgusted.
“I’m from Pennsylvania.” Buck stated, as if this explained the raw potato eating. “Did you know that Pennsylvania is part of the Appalachian region of the United States? I was looking it up, you know, because California is so different from anywhere else I’ve been. And most people really only think of West Virginia, you know, coal country, but as a region it actually stretches all the way from Maine to Alabama.”
“Fascinating.” Eddie said, clearly not fascinated. “The bet.”
“Oh yeah, the bet.” Buck remembered, examining the piece of potato he was salting.
“So anyway, I was leaving and I went to stop by Maddie’s desk, just to say hi, but I overheard her talking to Josh.” Eddie continued. He was determined not to let Buck’s Wikipedia dumping interrupt him again. “She was telling him that someone had lost the bet. And the bet was about us!”
“We’ve established that part.” Buck rolled his eyes. He’d moved from potatoes to shredded cheese. “What about us?”
“It’s about when they think we’ll get together.” Eddie said it like it was supposed to be a surprise. “Maddie and Josh bet together, and they are for SURE that it’s going to be this Christmas.” Buck took a step back. He was observing Eddie, watching for whatever reaction he had so he knew how to react. “Can you believe that?”
“Uh, no.” Buck answered, his heart sinking a little. Of course he wanted Eddie, but he’d never said anything, never acted on it. Not unless Eddie made a move first.
“I know, it’s insane.” Eddie peeked at Buck over his shoulder. He wanted to know how Buck felt about this news before he made any major revelations himself. He wasn’t surprised. Not really. People made jokes about them being together all the time and recently, well, Eddie had started to think maybe that wasn’t a bad idea.
Shannon had been his best friend. She really was. And that was something he’d been trying to find again. Neither Ana nor Marisol had really fit the bill. But Buck was his best friend. His best friend that was also recently out as bisexual. Which had caused Eddie to invest some time into his own Wikipedia deep dive. He’d come across some pretty interesting labels that had him thinking.
“Maybe we should let them win.” Buck broke the tense silence that had settled around them. He didn’t know what made him say it.
“What do you mean?” Eddie was stirring things together in a bowl now, Buck hovering over his shoulder to observe.
“I think we should pretend to get together.” Buck watched Eddie pour the mixture into a baking dish. He wasn’t sure what Eddie’s reaction would be. Wasn’t sure if he would think it was funny or be insulted. Either way he didn’t think Eddie would go along with it.
“I think that’s really funny actually.” Eddie shrugged. “I think we should do it. The first responder Christmas party is coming up. Maddie and Josh will be there.”
“How would we even do that?” Buck asked.
“I don’t know? It was your idea.” Eddie leaned over to put the baking dish in the oven. Buck tried not to watch the way his ass moved in his jeans.
“I didn’t think you’d agree!”
“Maddie and Josh are good people. I think they should win.” Eddie continued. Buck was still in shock that Eddie had even agreed, he hadn’t even thought about what that would entail.
Later, when Eddie had conceded to Buck when the baking dish contained both mush and burnt bits and then settled on Thai take out instead, they started hatching their plan.
The first responder Christmas party was held in the local park, in which they’d erected a massive Christmas tree and catered from at least three different restaurants. Even those on duty attended if they were close enough, albeit with radios on so they could respond if needed. Fake snow fell over the crowd, and lights twinkled in the sunset light, adding to the atmosphere. Buck pulled his Jeep into a parking spot, taking his phone and wallet back from Eddie.
“Always the perfect passenger princess.” Buck smiled, blue eyes twinkling. Eddie reminded himself that it was definitely because of the show they were about to put on. He smiled back, flashing his teeth in a way that took Buck’s breath away.
They both exited the vehicle, coming around the front and lacing their fingers together. They touched each other all the time. Little shoulder bumps, a hand on the small of their back, but this felt more intimate somehow. Eddie found himself incredibly nervous. He realized that this was going to look a lot like him ‘coming out’ to everyone.
“Maybe this was a bad idea.” Eddie snatched his hand back from Buck’s before they could get close to their friends and family.
“Nervous?” Buck asked, clocking Eddie’s unspoken emotion immediately. “People were totally fine with me coming out. No one said anything sideways. And you know I wouldn’t let them either.”
“But it wouldn’t be real.” Eddie lied. Well, he was pretty sure he lied. He didn’t know. He was still figuring that part out.
“And no one would care if it was.” Buck soothed him, taking his hand back. “We let it all blow over and tell them we decided to stay friends instead. Until then -” Buck lifted the hand that was still twined with Eddie’s, and used his fingers to brush a strand of hair from Eddie’s forehead. Eddie melted with the gentleness of it, the softness that had found its way into Buck’s eyes. “Wait, is that okay?”
“Is what okay?” Eddie was still staring dumbly into Buck's eyes.
“How I just touched you. We didn't talk about that.” Buck looked worried now. “Like what are we okay with?”
Eddie stopped himself from saying everything. “Uh, I don't know. Whatever comes naturally I guess? Treat me how you'd treat any hot date.” Eddie sassed just a little, reveling in the way Buck's jaw looked when he threw his head back and laughed.
“Okay but what if they ask us to kiss?” Buck collected himself. “There’s mistletoe every-” He didn't get to finish his sentence.
“Oh my gooood, Buck??” A shrill voice rang out from beside them.
“Taylor!” Buck greeted her with a chaste, one armed hug, still not letting go of Eddie’s hand. They both watched her eyes sweep over their hands.
“Waaaiiit.” She drawled. “Did you two finally figure it out? Like finally?” Buck laughed at her, but Eddie was taken aback.
“What do you mean?” He asked, cocking his head at her.
“Oh, I am not surprised at aaaallll .” She explained. “The two of you always had something going on. For a minute I assumed you were exes or something until I realized you were straight.” She gestured vaguely to Eddie. “Well, not anymore I guess.” She shrugged.
“Wait, why are you here?” Buck asked.
“Oh, I’m doing a story on the 133.” Taylor waved her hand noncommittally. “You know how much I love following you idiots around.” She smiled, charming (and beautiful) as ever. Her cameraman tapped her on the shoulder, summoning her to wherever he needed her to be. “It was nice to see you!” She waved. “And congratulations.”
“See!” Buck smiled, outshining even the brightest lights on the tree. Eddie was stunned for a moment. “She was so nice about it.” Eddie swallowed hard and nodded. He could do this. He could win that bet for Maddie and Josh.
“I’m sure everyone else will be too.”
Eddie tried to smile, but it came out more as a grimace. Buck wanted to say something else to reassure him that it would be fine. He couldn’t help but think that this was bigger for Eddie, that maybe he’d been lying when he said it was all fake. Instead, he turned and led them into the waiting crowd.
“Oh!” Maddie gasped, checking Josh sharply with the back of her hand to his chest. She pointed to her brother and Eddie talking to another firefighter. “They’re holding hands!!!”
“And your stage whisper can be heard for miles.” Josh shot back. “But it looks like we wiiiiiiiin.” He singsonged the last word, smiling smugly at Maddie.
“We have to find Sue.” Maddie was buzzing with energy. “I want my money.”
“My darling wife.” Chimney interrupted, sidling up to her side and snaking an arm around her waist. “Do you see what I see? A payday.”
“I’m suspicious.” Hen remarked from behind them, making them all jump. “They’re not touching anymore than they normally do.”
“They’re holding hands!” Josh argued. “That’s more than they usually touch.”
“Don't be salty that you lost.” Chimney chastised his friend.
“Listen I thought for sure that Eddie was going to have some wild confession after he got shot and was high on pain meds.” Hen defended. “Excuse me for having a rational storyline for these two. And I maintain that they are not touching enough for this to be real.”
“What ? You think they found us out and are faking?” Josh seemed a little nervous at the thought.
“Nah.” Chim shook his head. “They’re oblivious.”
Hen scoffed. “Yeah, to each other. Eddie looks stiff as a board. He is not comfortable right now.”
“To be fair this would be him coming out.” Maddie reminded. “That’s gotta be scary.”
“No, no.” Hen continued. “That's not it. I need more proof. They just seem too casual to me.”
“Oh, no.” Maddie was observing her brother again. “I see what you’re saying. It’s still too casual.”
Hen was laser focused on the two men. “I’m gonna make them kiss.” They all nodded in unison, watching Eddie and Buck make their way towards them.
“That sounds like coercion.” No one had noticed Bobby listening in on them from a few feet away.
“Not coercion, Cap.” Hen corrected him matter of fact. “Mistletoe.” She pointed to a sprig of mistletoe hung above them. Before marching off to confront the two men.
“I love her mind.” Chimney whispered. The others nodded their agreement and Bobby sighed.
“Oh, Hen is on a mission.” Eddie felt his chest tighten suddenly. He instinctively pressed himself closer to Buck’s shoulder, his hand squeezing Buck’s fingers that much harder. He tucked behind Buck's shoulder a little, suddenly feeling insecure about this entire plan.
“Merry Christmas!” Hen smiled wide. “So I see you guys came together.” Her eyes found their intertwined hands.
Buck could see the mischief in her eyes. He knew immediately she’d called their bluff. He felt Eddie stiffen behind him, and bumped his shoulder with his own to soothe him.
Hen took a step forward, forcing the men to take a step back. “And you’re holding hands! Anything you want to tell us?”
“Uhh.” Buck faltered. Hen took another small step forward, and Eddie stumbled over his own foot on the way back. He was clinging to Buck’s arm now, fully using him as a shield from Hen’s piercing gaze.
“You know, I haven't seen you two kiss yet.” She took another step forward. Buck had the sudden realization they were being cornered. “Wouldn't want you guys to spend all evening -” another step, forcing them under a doorway - “avoiding-” She crossed her arms, glancing up -”the mistletoe!”
Buck and Eddie looked up at the same time. She'd trapped them in a fake doorway, meant to mimic a Hallmark movie town at Christmas. There were lights strung all across it, and fake snow crunched under their shoes. And directly above them was a large sprig of mistletoe.
Buck had a choice to make. He could either wave Hen off and essentially admit that they were bluffing. Or he could follow through. He glanced at Eddie, who looked like he was having the same debate.
Buck took the hand that Eddie was gripping for dear life and wrapped it around his waist, pulling him closer. Their height difference was negligible most of the time, but like this, where Eddie could just gaze up at Buck through his lashes…. holy shit.
Eddie pulled back at first when Buck’s lips met his. But the brush of velvet skin against his, the graze of stubble on stubble, and the anchor of Buck’s hand on his waist had him hypnotized. Eddie leaned into it, his lips moving softly against Buck’s. Buck realized he didn’t want to pull away, and Eddie was letting his lips linger on his.
Hen was scrutinizing them, one eyebrow cocked and a look of vague skepticism across her features. “Alright.” She muttered, clearly not convinced. She shot a look back over her shoulder, and Buck and Eddie realized everyone had watched them have their first kiss. Well, only the two of them knew it was the first. And that it was fake. It was fake right? And if they had that thought simultaneously, well, whose business was that, really?
Maddie was smiling so big that Buck almost felt bad knowing he was eventually going to have to tell her the truth. Of course he would. He’d let the bet money change hands and then let her know what they’d done. It just felt like something that he couldn’t keep from her in the long run. Eddie was still standing beside him, a little shell shocked maybe, considering he’d just kissed a man for the first time.
“Congratulations!” Maddie cheered, her hands seemingly clapping of their own accord. She threw her arms around Buck and hugged him tightly. Chimney, Bobby, and Josh nodded their approval.
“You know there’s paperwork, right?” Bobby smiled, letting Maddie finish celebrating. “Next shift.”
“Of course.” Eddie answered, almost too formal. This would all be over by then, and it felt wrong in that moment to effectively lie to his captain. Buck squeezed his hand in response and Eddie felt the tension ease from him. He pressed his shoulder into Buck’s again, enjoying the pressure of Buck’s bicep on his. Bobby just smiled at them, before excusing himself to speak to another Captain.
The rest of them milled around the food table, eating bites of cheese and rose shaped salami. Buck held a cheese cube on a toothpick up to Eddie’s mouth and Eddie took it, laughing. He returned the favor with a carrot stick, and Buck all but devoured his fingers when he took it.
“Ooh, I gotta go say hi to Lena.” Eddie tapped Buck lightly. “I’ll be right back.” He left Buck at the table and joined another group of firefighters.
“Okay you do not know how long I have been waiting for the two of you to figure this out.” Maddie remarked now that Eddie wasn’t around. “I am so glad.”
“Me too.” Buck answered, and he noticed Maddie clock the sadness in his voice even when he tried to hide it. She didn’t get to push him though, because Chimney called her over to meet someone, pulling her from Buck. He picked over the fruit trays, popping blueberries into his mouth intermittently.
“Come here often?” A husky voice interrupted Buck’s musings.
“Do you always lean on such bad pick up lines?” Buck quipped before he could stop himself. He looked up to meet eyes with a paramedic he’d seen a few times at calls.
“This is the only time I have seen you not with your team. I was panicking.” The other man smiled, wide and inviting.
“Oh, I make you panic.” Buck smiled back, letting his eyes flirt for him.
Eddie watched from across the party. Buck was smiling. Laughing. Making eyes at some other guy. And that shouldn’t bother him, not really, because they aren’t really together. But it does bother him. Something dark crawls up behind his eyes, roots itself there, shoots a glare at the man flirting with Buck. Lena looks taken aback when Eddie leaves her in the middle of her sentence to return to Buck.
“Hey, baby.” Eddie snakes his hand around Buck’s waist and presses a chaste kiss to his cheek. A blush crept up Buck’s cheeks at that, meeting his hairline and retreating under his shirt collar. The other man raised his eyebrows at Buck, muttered an ‘it was nice to meet you’ and left the two of them to figure out whatever just happened.
“Were you jealous?” Buck giggled at him. He was flattered, somehow, even though he knew this was all for show.
“No.” Eddie guffawed. “But if I didn’t act like I was then the whole thing would be ruined.” The lie slipped out so easily. He had been jealous, he’d been seething with it, something rolling deep in his gut watching that paramedic laugh and smile and flirt with his Buck.
Oh. Buck tried not to show the disappointment on his face. Eddie, of course, saw it anyway. Neither of them spoke for a long moment, before Buck finally broke the awkward silence growing between them.
“Of course. That makes sense.”
Several hours later, they had packed themselves and SEVERAL white elephant gifts into Buck’s Jeep. They’d said their goodbyes, answered questions (everyone wanted to know what the ‘aha’ moment had been, to which Buck had artfully sidestepped by saying that it was only for them to know and throwing out a wink), and extricated themselves from several conversations about their clearly upcoming wedding.
“I am so ready to leave.” Eddie groaned. He settled back into the passenger seat, once again taking Buck’s belongings in his lap. Without really thinking about it, he settled one hand on Buck’s thigh. He felt, more than heard, Buck’s intake of breath at the action. Eddie smiled to himself when he felt Buck’s hand settle on top of his own.
Mixed signals. That was the only thought on Buck’s mind as he pulled out of his parking spot. Eddie had told him the jealousy was for show, but his hand on his thigh when no one was looking was very….possessive somehow. He didn’t check over his shoulder when he pulled out of the parking spot, didn’t see the other car flying down the row until Eddie’s door was crunching.
The next few minutes were a blur. First, assess Eddie. He was looking at Buck, well, grimacing really, and his leg was trapped where the door had caved in. Eddie’s eyes seemed frantic, roving over Buck, checking for injuries that he knew, logically, wouldn’t be there.
Eddie grabbed Buck by his shirt. His heart was still pounding. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
“I’m fine, Eddie.” Buck soothed. “Can I please check you out? It was your side that was hit.”
“How bad is it?” Eddie asked while Buck used his flashlight to try to check his leg. He’d taken in the accident, let logic overcome the momentary panic.
“Wiggle your toes for me?” Buck had shoved his hand down as far as he could get, barely grazing the top of Eddie’s shoe. He felt the other man’s toes wiggle. “You’re good there.” He pulled his hand back and his heart dropped. He’d thought he’d felt the warmth of it, but until he could see it, he was trying to remain hopeful. His hand was covered in blood. Eddie’s blood. Eddie noticed it at the same time Buck did.
“If I can feel my leg, it’s gonna be fine. I think the door caved and cut me. That’s most of what I’m feeling right now.” Eddie was trying to reassure Buck, and himself really. He could feel his toes, he could move them, and he for sure could feel the cold metal slicing into his calf. Luckily, a party full of first responders was not going to let him sit for long.
The 133 had pulled their ambulance around and had the jaws of life out of their truck before 911 was even officially called by a bystander. Buck rode with him in the ambulance while Maddie stayed back waiting for the Jeep to be towed. The other driver was okay, just dazed, but her car looked worse off.
“I’m sorry about your Jeep.” Eddie remarked as they felt the jolts of the ambulance pulling out of the parking lot.
“Why are you apologizing?” Buck laughed. “You didn’t hit me.”
“I feel baaaaaaad.” Eddie drawled, just the barest hint of an accent coloring his voice. Buck realized with a smile that this was definitely the painkillers talking. The paramedics had placed an IV before Eddie had even been pulled from the car, and with that, fluids and morphine.
“Okay. Well. Don’t.” Buck smiled gently at him, watching his head roll across the pillow on the stretcher.
“Hold my hand.” Eddie demanded, thrusting his hand out towards Buck. “You’re supposed to be my boyfriend.”
Right. Buck thought. We’re still playing that game. “Of course.” He handed himself to Eddie, intertwining their fingers together.
“Hmpphh.” Eddie sank back into the stretcher, taking a deep breath and settling his shoulders. He didn’t let go of Buck’s hand.
Buck jumped when a nurse tapped him on the shoulder. He’d managed to doze off in the waiting room. Bobby was sat next to him, Chimney on his other side. Maddie was home with Jee, and Hen was on her way back with coffee for all of them.
“He’s out of surgery. You can see him now.” The nurse smiled at Buck, making it clear Eddie had been asking for him.
“Can they come?” Buck asked, suddenly nervous. He gestured to his friends. “He’ll want to see them too.”
The nurse nodded. “Normally, we only let two people back at a time.” She reminded them. “But honestly, y’all should have a dedicated wing at this point, so I can break the rule and let everyone back if you promise to be gentle with him.”
“We can definitely do that.” Bobby promised. “What’s the damage? When can he come back?” The nurse began leading them down the hall towards Eddie’s room.
“The doctor can give you more details, but it was a lot better than we thought.” She smiled sweetly again. “It was a clean laceration, easy enough to stitch closed, just very painful. He’s on a lot of medication.” She threw a look back at Buck. “And he has been talking a whole lot about you. ”
Oh. Buck’s heart dropped. He didn’t know if he was excited or nervous, didn’t know if he was dreading this now or if his whole life was about to change. He didn’t get any more time to spiral before the door swung open and Eddie was hitting him with his doped up smile.
“Ugh. Buuuuck.” Eddie practically moaned. “And my FRIENDS.” Buck couldn’t help but smile at him. “Come to me.” Eddie was ushering Buck forward with his hands. Buck moved forward dutifully, taking both of Eddie’s hands in his.
“You are really high.” Buck noted, tapping a kiss onto Eddie’s forehead. He hadn’t even thought about it. Had barely noticed how he’d perched himself on the edge of Eddie’s hospital bed. He didn’t miss the fond look that crossed Bobby’s face, or the small smile that Chimney and Hen shared. Guilt stabbed at Buck’s insides, knowing they were going to have to end all this.
“We…have something to tell you.” Eddie slurred. He was barely there, barely holding his own head up at this point.
“I think we already know.” Bobby chuckled.
“No, no.” Eddie shook his head, much like a little kid being offered something they didn’t want. “You only think you know.” He took one hand back from Buck to tap on his temple. “This -” Eddie gestured between them. “Is all fake. It was so Maddie and Josh could win their bet. ”
Buck’s heart dropped for real. This was supposed to be a secret. They were supposed to let them down easy. Tell everyone they were just friends. Tell everyone they decided that that was best for them. They were not supposed to be airing this all out to them right now. Buck didn’t look at anyone but Eddie. Didn’t want to gauge all the reactions he didn’t want to see.
“But.” Eddie continued, not reading the look on Buck’s face, or the hand Buck ran down this cheek to shush him. “I don’t want it to be. Buck doesn’t know that though. Don’t tell him.”
“I think you just did, Edmundo.” Hen chimed in. She’d clocked Buck’s stricken face, put all the pieces together since she’d cornered them at the party. Eddie seemed to come back to awareness for a moment, eyes suddenly clear and breathing even. He made eye contact with Buck, still holding his hand with both of his. He seemed suddenly aware of what he’d just done, right before the drugs seemed to kick in again and he slid back under the effects of the pain medication.
“Oh.” Eddie positively giggled.
“Let’s give them a minute.” Bobby saved Buck from having to react. From having to look at anyone or confirm Eddie’s story. Saved Buck from having to face everyone with the fact that his best friend wanted this to be a real relationship, and not a fake one, living rent free behind his eyes.
The room was deadly silent once the door closed. Buck swore he could hear his heartbeat in his ears, the blood whooshing back and forth in his own brain.
“I don’t want it to be fake.” Eddie broke the tension. He sounded sober, but the way his eyes wouldn’t quite focus let Buck know otherwise.
“Eddie.” He didn’t know what he wanted to say, what he needed to say.
“I think I love you, Buck.” Eddie whispered. The words hung in the air. Buck imagined reaching out to hold them, touch their silk and twine them in his fingers. Something he’s wanted since the earthquake, watching Eddie run into that school building at the end of the day and hug his son tight. That had been his ‘oh’ moment. He hadn’t known it at the time, but looking back, that was it for him.
“Since when?” Buck whispered. He needed to know, needed to understand when the feelings became something else for Eddie.
“Since the whole time.” Eddie’s words were slurring again. “Maybe…after Shannon died I really felt it more. Realized what it was. But when Chris left I….” His words trailed off, and Buck watched his faraway eyes fill with tears. “I was so torn on leaving. I realized I can’t leave. I want him here. Because you’re here.”
Buck nodded. Afraid if he spoke his voice would shake and then a whole other flood of emotions would come pouring out. Sure, Eddie was stoned as hell right now, but he was probably being more honest than he has been in a very long time.
“And I have a Christmas present for you.” Eddie continued. “And I want a redo of our first kiss.” His brows were knitted together in concern, big brown eyes trained on Buck.
“We can do that.” Buck used his thumb to soothe the lines between Eddie’s brows. Of course they would. As long as Eddie still felt the same way when he was no longer under the effects of a fentanyl cocktail.
The door opened and Bobby peeked his head in. “I didn’t want to interrupt, but just to let you know, we’re headed home.”
“Thanks, Bobby.” Buck smiled, and Eddie waved, that childlike gleam back in his eyes. Buck’s thanks held a double meaning, something Bobby picked up on easily.
“Honestly. I thought you two had this figured out a long time ago.” Bobby spoke only to Buck, as Eddie’s eyelids got heavier and heavier. “Like my bet was definitely after Eddie pulled himself out of that well and when that didn’t go through it was when he got shot. I lost again so I gave up but I thought for sure that something would happen when you got struck by lightning.”
Buck laughed at that. He could see where Bobby was coming from, the memories of both of them through the years flashing through his mind. Bobby waved one more time, closing the door behind him. Buck looked back at Eddie, now sleeping peacefully. He still had a death grip on Buck’s hand, and Buck wasn’t all that mad about it. He pulled his feet up onto the bed, minding Eddie’s bad leg, and stretched out next to him. He settled his head on the pillow next to Eddie’s, admiring him for a moment. He slipped into sleep easily, letting the hospital sounds blend with Eddie’s breathing.
The next evening, Eddie was discharged, still on some pain medication, but much more sober. Buck listened attentively to all the discharge instructions, even taking notes on the paperwork the nurse handed him. They scheduled Eddie’s first physical therapy appointment before Buck led him to Eddie’s truck (which Buck had dutifully picked up as his Jeep was currently undriveable).
“I can’t believe they want me to walk already.” Eddie winced, leaning heavily on Buck for support.
“They said some walking is okay.” Buck reminded him. “So you might as well start now.” Buck helped Eddie into the passenger seat of his own vehicle, tucking his leg in carefully.
“Okay now don’t hit anyone.” Eddie joked, reaching over to touch Buck’s thigh.
“Hey now, she hit me.” Buck chuckled back, taking Eddie’s hand in his, anchoring them both to his leg.
“Do we need to talk about this?” Eddie barely remembered his confession, but he remembered how it felt to have Buck crawl into that hospital bed with him, remembered the nurse checking his vitals in the middle of the night smiling fondly at the two of them, remembered waking up this morning pressed shoulder to ankle against Buck.
“I don’t think there’s a lot to talk about.” Buck answered. “As long as…it was real.” He felt Buck tense, felt the mood shift.
“It was.” Eddie reassured, lifting both of their hands to rub the back of his against Buck’s cheek. “I love you.” He said it so simply, so easily, that Buck was having a hard time accepting it. Buck just nodded in response. They pulled up outside Eddie’s house, Buck pulling as close to the house as possible so Eddie wouldn’t have to walk as far.
“Did you put up my Christmas tree?” Eddie was observing the twinkling lights through his living room window.
“Uh, yeah.” Buck was sheepish. “When I left to get you clothes this morning I noticed you didn’t have any decorations up. So I thought maybe you’d like it. But if not I can take it down. I just thought you could use some cheering up and-”
“I love it.” Eddie interrupted. He loved Buck’s rambling, loved how much he cared. Buck smiled at him, bright and hopeful, and real.
Inside, Eddie dutifully propped his leg up on the coffee table when Buck placed a pillow there. He tried not to visibly wince at the movement, but he’s sure Buck caught it anyway.
“Hey, before you sit down.” Eddie started, holding his hand out to Buck. It was a simple gesture, only meant to stop him from walking further away, but the way Buck stopped and took his hand had him absolutely melting. He just stared at Buck for a moment, letting the moment draw out. “There’s a box on my dresser. It’s your gift.”
Buck retrieved the box, bringing it back to Eddie without so much as shaking it. He also retrieved his own box from his duffel bag, a gift for Eddie he’d picked out ages ago. He sat on the coffee table facing Eddie, excitement pouring off of him.
“You first.” Buck shoved his gift at Eddie, perfectly wrapped with a bow perched on top. Eddie unwrapped it slowly, a little worried when he noticed it was some kind of technology. “Don’t pull a sour face.” Buck admonished. “It’s a digital picture frame. It’s like a cube. So it shows pictures on all sides. I already loaded it for you.” Eddie pulled it from the box and turned it on. Pictures of him and Chris filled the squares. And pictures of Buck and Chris. And pictures of Buck, Chris, and Eddie together.
Eddie didn’t speak for a long moment. This was his. Not the digital picture frame, but the people in it. The family in it. He got to have all of that. If Buck was willing, and he seemed willing. For once, Eddie felt hopeful. Hopeful he could get Christopher back, hopeful he could have this family, hopeful he could have love.
“I love it.” Eddie realized he hadn’t really said anything profound since he’d come in the door. Just repeating three words. “I love you. Open yours.” Buck tore open the wrapping paper to reveal a small velvet box. He opened the hinged lid, taking in the contents.
“Oh, Eddie.” Buck took the chain between his fingers and pulled the necklace into the twinkling Christmas lights. “A Saint Christopher medallion.” He put it on, letting the cool metal sit against his t-shirt.
“I bought it before…” Before I told you I loved you, Eddie thought. Buck just nodded. He understood. “I knew then, when I bought it. That I loved you. I just didn’t think I’d get to say it.”
“So this was as close as you could get.” Buck leaned over Eddie, pressing their lips together softly. It was chaste, but full of desire, promise, life and love unlived as of yet.
Eddie held onto Buck’s face, keeping their lips pressed together. He moved his lips in earnest, begging Buck for more, anything more. Buck obliged, straddling Eddie, pushing them closer and closer together.
“Happy second first kiss.” Buck murmured into Eddie’s neck. They stayed like that for a long time, nestled in one another, well after the sun fully set and the only light came from the warm twinkling of the Christmas tree. Eddie thought he could get used to this, loving Buck and loving him in return. And Christopher, he’d come home. He’d be happy for them, Eddie knew that in his heart.
“So, um, when is it an appropriate time for me to ask you to take this to the bedroom?” Eddie smirked at Buck’s immediate reaction.
Buck pretended to be shocked. “Is my cuddling not enough for you??” They laughed together, and this time when they kissed it was slow and deep and wanting. “Do I get to do this for the rest of my life?” Buck asked when they came up for air.
“Is that what you want?”
“Yes.” Buck said simply. “I love you.” He realized it was the first time he’d said it back, the first time he acknowledged it out loud.
“So marry me.”
“Oh.”
“Buck, it’s a yes or no question.”
“Don't you feel like it’s kind of soon?” Buck asked quietly.
“We’ve wasted years, stolen glances, lingering touches, Buck….when Chris comes back…I want us to be a family.
“Yes.” Buck whispered. “Of course.”
“I can’t wait to plan the wedding.” It was Eddie’s turn to dazzle Buck with a smile.
“Okay but, now we really are moving to the bedroom.” Buck hauled Eddie to his feet, helping him hobble down the hallway and to his room. He helped Eddie onto the bed before crawling up beside him and throwing his leg over him.
“You cuddle like an octopus.”
Buck pressed his face back into Eddie’s neck. He wanted to live there, wanted to make his home in the juncture of Eddie’s neck and collarbone. They fell asleep there, wrapped in each other, making their home in each other. And if they woke up the next morning and stayed in bed just a little longer than normal, whose business was that, really?