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JJ sat in a chair near the entrance of the gymnasium, his hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his shorts. The distant chatter of parents and teachers drifted through the open double doors, a muffled hum that made his stomach twist. He watched every adult who entered, his heart jumping slightly whenever a man with a vest or a weathered face walked by.
But it was never Luke.
He told himself he didn’t care. Not really. He was 13—too old to keep waiting for things that were never going to happen. Still, the hope lingered, uninvited and unwanted.
The minutes dragged on, and JJ’s back began to ache from the dumb chair he swung his legs under it, kicking at the ugly tiled floor. He couldn’t wait to get bigger, and get out of this stupid place. John B had shot up over the summer in height and JJ to his absolute hatred was now the smallest of their group. Not only did he have to put up with being the youngest (born three months and 17 days after Kiara thank you very much) but now even Kie was taller than him. Just another cruel blow from a universe that seemed to have it in for him.
He was going to have to try and make sure he was eating somehow. He was sure that was the reason. His dad almost never had food in and JJ couldn’t steal all the time so it meant he spent a significant time hungry. The gnawing ache pulling at him whilst he sat in school or hung out at the beach. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that he needed food to make him as big as John B or as muscular as Pope, hell even as confident as Kie. His friends were leaving him behind and he knew it. He was going to be fucking stunted. He just knew it.
You’re a pathetic piece of shit you know that?
His father’s words crept unbidden into his mind and he kicked harder at the floor. He needed to be less pathetic. He would need to keep working on that.
He was just about to book it out of there, because fuck it his dad was definitely not coming now when he felt a figure loom over him, he stiffened defensively bracing himself. ’Mr Maybank, your father here yet?’
Principal Callaghan stood before him, peering down, barely veiled contempt in his eyes. He had taught JJ’s dad in the sporadic times Luke had graced Kildare High School with his particular brand of anarchical presence, and he wasn’t a fan of his ancestry line. JJ opened his mouth. ‘He might show but he said he spent enough time with you back in the day in detention here Sir.’
Principal Callaghan’s lip curled, ‘and you’re just determined to continue the family legacy aren’t you Maybank?’
‘Who am I to try and fight fate right?’ JJ offered with a mock salute, flipping him off as he walked away.
He fucking hated Callaghan. Yet another failure of a grown up assuming he was destined for the Maybank gutter pool.
He pushed himself off the wall and wandered aimlessly toward the gym, avoiding eye contact with the clusters of parents and teachers. He felt like a ghost, drifting through a world he didn’t belong in.
Maybe John B or Kie or Pope were there.
“JJ?”
The voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he turned to see John B jogging up to him, his messy hair falling into his eyes as usual.
Thank god!
“Hey,” John B said, slightly out of breath. “You been here the whole time?”
JJ shrugged. “Yeah. Just... hanging out.”
John B frowned, glancing toward the doors. He didn’t need to ask to know what—or who—JJ was waiting for.
“Did he say he was coming?” John B asked cautiously.
JJ snorted, a bitter smile tugging at his lips. “He didn’t have to say it. I already know the answer.”
“Come on,” John B said suddenly, grabbing JJ’s arm.
JJ frowned. “What are you doing?”
“Let’s go talk to one of the teachers,” John B said.
JJ tried to pull his arm back. “No way. I’m not doing that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s freaking embarrassing, dude! It’s parents’ evening. I don’t have a parent here, remember?”
John B stopped walking and turned to face him, his voice firm. “So what? You’re still a student. You deserve to know how you’re doing, right? Want me to get my dad to ask about you?”
‘No!’ JJ hissed gripping John B’s arm a little too tight. The truth was, he didn’t want to know. If he was doing badly, which lets face it, he would be, school and him were not a great combination, it would just be one more thing for Luke to hold over his head. And if he was doing well... well, it wasn’t like anyone cared.
‘Just leave it B…it doesn’t matter…’
‘J…’
JJ laughed bitterly, a sound far too sharp for a kid his age. “What’s the point?” he’d said. “Even if he does show it’s not like Luke cares about some dumb grades so just leave it John B.”
JJ spun on his heel and stalked off, his blonde head bobbing and weaving through the crowd, his shoulders down, trying to make himself invisible.
JJ was such a mosaic of emotions and performances. John B had spent most of their friendship since he was eight years old trying to figure each fragment out. He could be the loudest most performative drama king in the room when he wanted, the class clown, the storyteller, the fighter busting someones lip in the playground defending the underdog but nights like tonight when he shrank into himself, when he wanted to disappear, he could be the smallest, the loneliest, the most invisible character a person could be.
Not a single head turned towards him, no acknowledgement, no check in, nobody noticed the small boy shove his way out of the room but John B noticed, he could never not notice JJ. Ever since he crashed into his life quite literally on the playground when John B had just turned eight and JJ was barely seven, he couldn’t stop noticing him.
And it bugged him. It bugged him so bad the way adults barely seemed to notice the stuff they should, and only noticed all of the wrong things. Like the way nobody noticed when JJ yet again swiped food from leftover dinner trays, but they always noticed when he fell asleep in class, writing him up for detention when John B knows full well Luke had probably been up partying all night, music full blast with his coked up friends.
The cops already thought JJ was a petty thief for stealing food when in reality he’d been so desperate with hunger he’d be nearly fainting. John B was grateful for his dad. Big John knew some of what went on at Luke and JJ’s, he always let JJ stay whenever he wanted, and the boys know he tried going further once, after Luke had broken JJ’s arm, he had made a call but it resulted in DCS and JJ being shipped off for three weeks to the mainland and coming back with a chip on his shoulder a mile long, refusing to speak to Big John for a solid two months. John B’s dad hadn’t tried again after that. He just made sure the door was always unlocked if JJ found himself at theirs, which was on an almost daily basis lately.
Big John knew JJ, he was way more equipped to take on JJ’s parents evening than Luke Maybank but John B didn’t want to betray JJ’s confidence if he didn’t want that.
John B shifted uncomfortably, glancing around the gym. Parents were chatting with teachers at folding tables, exchanging smiles and handshakes. He spotted his own dad, he was hard to miss, a giant of a man, the back of his long hair dwarfing the chair he sat on. He’d honestly been grateful that his dad had timed his latest treasure expedition around this and bothered to show too.
But Big John wasn’t Luke, he did give a shit about John B.
A world that gave a shit to JJ was so foreign it might as well have been another planet.
The school gymnasium buzzed with the sounds of parents murmuring, students fidgeting, and teachers shuffling papers. Fluorescent lights hummed faintly, casting a sterile glow on the glossy wooden floor. John B stood awkwardly by the refreshment table, his hands jammed into the pockets of his worn shorts.
He scanned the room, hoping against hope to see Luke Maybank swagger through the doors, something he had never wanted in his life before, but he wanted him to give a shit, just this once about JJ. About JJ’s future.
John B already knew the truth. He was never going to show.
JJ's voice pops into his head. “What’s the point? Not like Luke cares about some dumb grades.”
But John B cared.
Now, as the evening wore on, his frustration bubbled over. He wasn’t about to let JJ’s absence and the fact nobody was bothered enough to be there for him go unnoticed. With a deep breath, he squared his shoulders and made his way to the far end of the room, where a teacher with kind eyes and a purple jacket stood flipping through a folder.
“Uh, Mr. Sun?” John B’s voice cracked slightly, and he cleared his throat.
The teacher looked up, surprised. He seemed to recognize John B immediately, his expression softening into something almost fatherly. “John B. What can I do for you?”
John B hesitated. He was 14, not exactly the type to wade into a conversation with authority figures, nearly as distrustful as JJ was, but this wasn’t about him. “I—uh—it’s about JJ.”
Mr. Sun’s brow furrowed slightly, and he closed the folder in his hands. “His dad didn’t come tonight, did he?”
John B shook his head. Paused. He had to tread carefully here. “No.”
A flicker of something passed over Mr. Sun’s face—sympathy, maybe, but he masked it quickly. “I see. Well, is there something specific you’d like to know?”
John B shifted his weight from one foot to the other, suddenly unsure of how to say what he wanted. “I just... I wanna know how he’s doing. In school, I mean. JJ.”
Mr. Sun tilted his head, studying John B for a moment before motioning toward an empty table nearby. “Why don’t we sit down?”
John B followed, feeling oddly exposed under the glaring lights of the gym.
“JJ’s a smart kid,” Mr. Sun began. “He’ll fight anyone who tries to say it but he’s smart.”
John B sits up further then. Hah! He told JJ he was smart.
JJ had just rolled his eyes, ‘I’m as dumb as rocks B, all us Maybanks are.’
Mr Sun pulls out a folder, leafs through it till John B spots JJ’s name. It’s all the subjects. He leans forward. “His science teacher says he’s got a natural aptitude.”
Pope’s going to shit himself with excitement at that!
“And in Spanish, when he puts his mind to it, he’s picking it up easily. He’s one of the best woodwork students we have, he just needs to channel his energy into the right areas.”
John B’s chest swelled with pride, though he kept his face neutral. “Really? Like you’re not just saying that to make him come to school more?”
“Really,” Mr. Sun said firmly. “The thing is, though John B, he’s struggling to keep up sometimes. In most subjects. Missing assignments, falling asleep in class.” He paused, lowering his voice. “I know he’s got a lot on his plate outside of school.”
John B’s throat tightened. He schooled his expression, can’t betray JJ’s confidence, can’t give away his biggest secrets, it’s JJ 101. He knew exactly what Mr. Sun was talking about though—Luke’s temper, the bruises JJ pretended came from bike accidents, the borderline starvation, the nights spent crashing at John B’s place because home wasn’t safe.
“He doesn’t talk about it,” Mr. Sun continued gently. “But I’ve noticed. I know this school hasn’t done much to help but I promise you I have tried John B.”
John B glanced up sharply. “What do you mean?”
Mr. Sun leaned forward, his voice quiet but earnest. “I see the potential in him, and I see the struggles too. Some of us over the years have tried to reach out to the relevant authorities, but it’s not easy when he denies any issues. He’s not the kind of kid who trusts adults easily, is he?”
John B gave a bitter laugh. “Yeah, no kidding.”
Mr. Sun smiled faintly. Seeing an opportunity. “Would you like to talk to me John B? In confidence about JJ’s issues?”
John B’s guard goes up instantly. He’s gone too far, he’s let Mr Sun in to too much already. It’s not his life to discuss. He doesn’t want anyone to take JJ to the mainland again, or to see him broken in a hospital bed. He bites his cheek hard. ‘No’.
‘It doesn’t need to go further than us John B,’ Mr Sun tries again and it’s oddly refreshing having a grown up who actually seems to give a damn. In another life John B would open up and they would take JJ from Luke forever and he would never come stumbling to John B’s home again, broken and silent. In another life he could move into the Chateau forever and Big John could adopt him and he and JJ could ride dirtbikes and build forts and he would not have to spend evenings wiping JJ’s blood from his body and JJ wouldn’t have to steal them food as they wondered if Big John was going to ever come home. But JJ trusts him. He can’t say anything.
It has taken so long for JJ to trust him, to let John B patch him up, to talk to him about just a fraction of what John B knows is happening. He can’t betray that trust. He won’t. It’s JJ 101.
‘It’s not too bad Mr Sun,’ he offers, ‘JJ’s fine. His dad’s just never been bothered about school is all.”
Mr Sun pauses, he knows when he’s beaten. He backs down. Sits back in his chair. “That’s why it’s good he has someone like you. A friend who cares.”
The words hit John B harder than he expected, a lump rising in his throat. He blinks rapidly, refusing to let himself get emotional in the middle of the gym.
“I just…he should be allowed to know how he’s doing, he should hear when he’s good at something,” he mutters.
Mr. Sun nodded. “That’s important.” The teacher’s expression softened. “John B if you or JJ ever need someone to talk to—someone who listens—I’m here.”
For a moment, John B didn’t respond, staring down at the scuffed tabletop. Then, finally, he looked up. “Thanks, Mr. Sun.”
John B isn’t used to respecting teachers, he and JJ have a fear of authority figures in common. Too many run ins with nosy cops, or DCS or teachers who’ve written them off due to their geographical dwelling on the island. Born in the cut, die in the cut. But Mr Sun has been cool. He gives a small nod before standing up. The weight in his chest felt a little lighter now, though the sadness still lingered.
Mr Sun pulls out JJ’s file, “Here John B, if anyone asks I gave this to Luke Maybank ok?” He winks conspiratorially and John B huffs out a laugh. Salutes him. “Yes sir!”
Big John ambles up to his side as they weave through the gymnasium and John B ducks under his arm. “Bird you’re doing well in history, that’s enough for me buddy! You can help me with my research.”
He ruffles John B’s hair. It feels good to have his dad here, to feel safe tonight. Not for the first time he feels a deep pang of pain for JJ. For the father he’ll never have. John B’s dad can be careless and he’s away more than he’s home but he knows he loves him at least on some level.
As he leaves the gym, he tells his dad he needs the bathroom, leaning over the sink he takes out the report cards,
The cards are a mix, words like ‘shows promise’ and ‘talented’, blend with ‘needs to concentrate’ spattered in with ‘low attendance’ and ‘issues with authority figures’ big fucking surprise there. John B takes the unhelpful ones and rips them up for the trash. he pulls out his phone, snaps a picture of the others and fires off a quick text to JJ.
“Hey J. You’re smarter than you think, bitch. Just thought you should know.”
He doesn’t expect a response right away—JJ wasn’t big on talking about his feelings—but he knew his best friend would see it. And for now, that was enough.
The next year things change. Big John is missing, and John B spirals, he skips school and he gets stoned out of his mind and he’s lying in bed unable to stop the tears when he gets a text and picture of his own.
‘Hey Bree you passed History! And fuck Turner and the Geography grade dude, the man would get lost walking to his own desk.’
John B can’t help the huff of laughter.
Screw parents, and screw parents evenings, who needs them, when you’ve got best friends?