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Tsukishima was just pulling on his shoes, Kuroo rummaging in his drawers for the keys (and since when did Kuroo know where Tsukki kept his keys, anyway?) when he remembered. Kuroo’s coat.
It had been in his house since - what, just before they got together? Since the day they got together, in fact. Kuroo had given it to him when they were walking back in the cold, and then, on the front doorstep, he kissed him.
And sure, it was comfy, and maybe he’d worn it out a couple times because it smelled like Kuroo, but Tsukki was amazed he hadn’t asked for it back. It wasn’t that Kuroo was reluctant to give his stuff away - Tsukki was ninety per cent sure that Bokuto’s horrible pink flannel used to be Kuroo’s - but they’d been together for months. So Tsukki said:
“Hey, Kuroo, don’t you want your coat back?”
Kuroo froze. Like, literally froze, shoulders tense and unmoving. The rustling stopped.
Tsukki frowned. “Tetsu?”
Kuroo said tentatively, “Did I do something wrong?”
To get his coat returned to him? His boyfriend was a weirdo. “No. I just… hasn’t it been a while? Don’t you want it?”
Kuroo turned at that. “No, Tsukki, of course I don’t want it back, I - is it not good enough?”
“I… it’s a good coat,” Tsukki said, feeling lost. Kuroo’s expression was utterly raw, heartbreak lining every inch. Tsukki knew he had a bit of a reputation for being a jerk, but normally he furthered it on purpose.
“Then why do you want to give it back?” Kuroo said, starting forward. “Tsukki, please, I -”
“I just thought you’d want it,” Tsukki said, getting defensive. “It’s getting cold out. I’ve had it since February.” He knew he’d said the wrong thing when Kuroo slumped back against the drawers.
“I’m sorry. You’re right, I - I’m sorry. I’ll take it.” He held out his hand, gaze wavering, but settling on Tsukishima’s eyes. “Here,” he repeated. “I’ll take it.”
Tsukishima looked at the coat, then back at Kuroo’s hand. He started to pass the coat over, but -
“No, fine,” Tsukki said, snatching the coat back. He didn’t understand how he’d messed up, but he didn’t like how Kuroo was refusing to be direct about it. “If you care so much, I’ll keep it.”
“That’s not fair, Tsukki!” Kuroo said. “Stop messing me about!”
“I’m not messing anyone about! It’s not my fault you don’t want your stupid coat back!”
“What - Tsukki, of course I don’t want it back! I love you!”
“I don’t understand why you’re being so confusing!”
“I’m being confusing? You refuse to tell me what you want!”
“I didn’t think I needed to!”
“Well, you do! Do you want the damn coat or not, Tsukki?”
Tsukki let out a noise. “Sure! I want the coat! If it makes you happy, I’ll keep the damn coat! God, why do you even care so much?”
“Why do I even - Tsukki. Tell me you’re joking.”
“I’m not! Tetsurou.” Tsukki stepped closer. “What is going on?”
Kuroo stared at him. “Did I… tell you what that coat means?”
Tsukishima had never felt more lost. “Isn’t it just… your coat?” When Kuroo didn’t say anything, he said, “No. You didn’t tell me what that coat means.”
There was a pause. Tsukishima didn’t dare move. Finally, in a helpless voice, Kuroo said:
“I’m an idiot.”
“Yes,” Tsukishima agreed, “you are.”
Kuroo started to laugh. Tsukki pulled his shoes off and went into the kitchen to give him a moment.
16:29
To: Tadashi
Did Kuroo do anything weird lately?
16:29
To: Tsukki
He’s a very weird person
You need to be more specific
16:30
To: Tadashi
Weirder than usual
16:31
To: Tsukki
Not off the top of my head
But u don’t tell me when he’s weird
You tell me he took you for dinner and then weeks later I find out it’s some hole in the wall owned by someone whose cat he rescued three years ago
16:32
To: Tadashi
That is a very specific situation and it only happened once.
16:33
To: Tsukki
Good luck!
Kuroo followed eventually and sat down opposite him at the table, the jacket twisted up in his hands.
“Did you pull yourself together yet?” Tsukki asked, sliding him a glass of water.
One look at Kuroo answered that question with a definite no. He was clearly still coming down from their sort-of-fight, jittery and fidgeting. Thankfully, Tsukki was good at dealing with nervous people (not least because he was the one getting them nervous in the first place).
“Quit stalling,” he said bluntly. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
Kuroo looked at him in a panic. “You don’t understand, I’ve done this completely wrong.”
“Fix it, then.”
“You’re not going to believe me.”
“Try me.”
Kuroo drank the water (stalling again; he really wasn’t slick). Then he asked, “What do you think is going on?”
Tsukki couldn’t deny that he’d given it some thought. “My best guess is you’re cheating on me and that jacket is your secret lover’s and you’re scared we’re going to run into them.”
That got a laugh, at least. “Okay, okay, it’s not that bad.”
“What is it, then?”
Finally, and without losing his nervous energy, Kuroo said: “I’m a selkie.”
For fuck’s sake.
“No, you’re not.”
“Seriously, Tsukki.”
Tsukishima was silent, baffled. Kuroo continued, in a rush now he’d gotten it out, “And this is my pelt.” He gave Tsukki the jacket. Tsukishima took it and Kuroo visibly relaxed.
Tsukki examined it. “It doesn’t look like a pelt. It looks like a -”
“Stylish jacket? I’m not going to go around wearing fur. I’m not a caveman. I have taste.” At least he was feeling confident enough to joke. Tsukishima was not.
“Oh my god,” Tsukki said. Then he said, “Prove it.”
Kuroo put his hand flat on the table. Tsukki stared at it. Before his eyes, it seemed to shimmer slightly, and a webbing grew between each of the fingers, the nails pointing at the end. He blinked, and it was gone, and it was a normal hand again.
Tsukishima’s eyes widened, as they do when your entire worldview is shifted and your boyfriend is a supernatural creature. So what he said was, “Do the seal thing.” And he held out the jacket.
“I can’t,” Kuroo said. “It’s yours now. If I take it back we’re breaking up.” A worried look crossed his face. “You don’t want to break up, right?”
Tsukki hmphed, which that meant he didn’t. But - “What if I didn’t believe you?”
“I thought you already did believe me,” Kuroo said. “Back in February. At Yamaguchi’s.”
“You thought you told me this in February?”
“We had a whole conversation!”
Tsukishima stared at him. Kuroo stared back.
Suddenly, Tsukishima saw the funny side.The stupid housewarming party. Yamaguchi and Yachi’s new, less-shitty apartment was where he’d chosen to break what was rapidly becoming the most improtant news of their relationship. Tsukishima started to snigger and covered his mouth with his hand so Kuroo wouldn’t notice.
Kuroo noticed, of course. He pushed his chair back and slid down it with a sigh of relief.
“That was so horrible. I was so worried you would divorce me. You know we’re told endlessly how to tell humans? Literally from birth. And I still didn’t do it right.”
“How did you mess this up that badly?” Tsukishima gasped.
“I don’t know, babe, I thought you hadn’t drunk that much yet and it was as good a time as any.”
“You really thought Yamaguchi’s housewarming was the best opportunity-“
“I’m so, so dumb. So dumb. I thought you at least knew the implications - apparently not, this is what I get for not following up - and I call myself a people person-“
Tsukishima had stopped laughing.
“The implications?” he repeated. There was more? How could there have been more?
Kuroo sat straight back up. He must have realised he wasn’t out of the woods yet. “Okay, so before I say anything, know that you’re the love of my life and there’s nothing I’d ever want to do that I didn’t think you also wanted-“
Tsukishima wasn’t listening. Something occurred to him: earlier, Kuroo had said divorce.
“Tetsurou. Are we married?”
Kuroo looked at him, eyes wide. “I… guess?”
And if that wasn’t just a whole different thing that Kuroo had also apparently neglected to mention.
“You married me? And you didn’t tell me?”
“I’m sorry! I thought you knew!” Kuroo repeated.
“No!” Tsukishima said in shock. “Jesus, what, did you think I was a mind reader? I don’t exactly put much stock in fairy stories.”
“We’re not fairy stories,” said Kuroo, affronted. “And, anyway, I thought I did tell you.”
Tsukishima stared at him. “You are an idiot,” he repeated. “Now I have to buy a suit and find a venue and talk to my family.”
Maybe it was shock. Maybe it was some weird sea-spell making him make stupid moves.
Maybe Kuroo was an idiot, and that simple fact had inexplicably endeared Tsukishima to him for life.
Kuroo was still catching up. “Why?” he asked.
“Well, we got married your way, so we have to get married my way now. You can’t spirit me away, I’m not some child bride.”
“My way? Tsukki, do you…” He could barely believe it. “Do you want to get married for real?”
“From what you said, we’re already married for real,” Tsukki said, rolling his eyes. “I’m just letting people know so we can be done with it all.”
Kuroo started to laugh. He stood up from the kitchen table and swept Tsukki up into a hug.
Tsukki tensed, then slowly drew his arms around Kuroo.
“This doesn’t mean I forgive you,” he said, muffled into his shoulder.
“I know.”
“You’re still an idiot.”
“I know. I love you.”
“I know.”
17:23
To: Tadashi
Did Tetsurou tell you anything
Significant
In Feb?
Or thereabouts
Not a big deal if not
17:34
To: Tsukki
You mean that he’s a selkie?
17:34
To: Tadashi
…
17:39
To: Tadashi
I’m going to find a harpoon and gut him.
We’re getting married by the way
You’re my best man
17:40
To: Tsukki
????????