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“Oh, come on, Dipper,” Mabel said to her twin sister.
“No,” Dipper replied, keeping her attention on her computer screen.
“Why not?”
“Why do you want me to?”
“Because it’ll be fun!”
Dipper finally turned to look at Mabel. “Fun? Auditioning for a play?”
“Exactly! The lights shining down, the costumes, getting the chance to entertain everyone.”
“Embarrass myself is more like it. Mabel, I can’t act.”
“Oh, baloney! What about when you covered for me with the Sock Opera?”
Dipper tilted her head at Mabel. “That thing? You were busy trying to recover the journal. How do you know how I did?”
“Candy and Grenda recorded it.”
Dipper gaped at her. “And you watched it?”
“Of course I did. And you were great! You’re better than you give yourself credit for.”
Dipper sighed. “Why is this such a big deal to you?”
Mabel sat on Dipper’s bed. “I just…I’d like to be more than just the Mystery Twins. Wouldn’t Theater Twins be kinda cool?”
Dipper rubbed her eyes. “Mabel, it’s not just any play. It’s Romeo and Juliet. All those weird words and spellings, and the phrasing.”
Mabel placed a reassuring hand on Dipper’s shoulder. “Dipper, this is high school theater. Do you really think you’d be the only person trying out who didn’t know the meter?”
Dipper opened and closed her mouth a few times before finally conceding the point. “I guess not.”
“So we’re sure to go over those things when rehearsals begin.” Mabel pushed out her lower lip and batted her eyes at her twin sister. “Please, Dip? For me?”
Dipper sighed. She knew she couldn’t say no when Mabel made that face. “Alright, alright, I’ll do it.” Mabel punched the air and flashed her bright smile. “But you’re gonna have to help me out. I don’t know the first thing about this.”
“Don’t worry Lady MacDip, you’re gonna love this!”
*****
I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.
Dipper sat, wondering for the millionth time why she ever agreed to this. She looked around the green room, which she noted was decidedly not green. Mabel said something about a superstition. As for her sister, she was up on stage, presenting her audition. Dipper had no doubts that Mabel would be cast; she was naturally gifted for the theater. Herself on the other hand, she was certain she’d be a fool on stage.
She looked across the room to the exit. How simple it would be to just walk on through it and forget this whole venture. This was already doing a number on her stomach. She glanced down the hallway, where the dressing rooms and toilets were. She wondered if she was going to have to make a mad dash.
This was a stupid idea, she thought. There’s no way this’ll ever work. She stood to leave, but before she could take a single step, she heard footfalls tromp down the steps. A moment later, Mabel bounded into the room, grinning ear to ear. Dipper quickly composed herself, trying to make it appear she had stood for her return. “So, uh, how’d it go?”
Mabel squealed. “I think I got a part! They seemed really impressed!”
Dipper smiled, genuinely happy for her twin. “That’s great!”
“Yep. And now it’s your turn.”
Dipper clenched her teeth. This was it. No way out of it now. She nodded solemnly and started up the stairs, feeling like a condemned criminal walking their last steps. Mabel called up a hearty “Break a leg!” from behind her. Dipper wondered where the hell a phrase like that even came from. She rounded the top of the stairwell and found herself in the wings. To her right, she saw the fly system. Her eyes followed the ropes to the battens dangling above the stage. A few lights hung from the pipes, creating a pool in the center of the stage. Dipper wondered what the likelihood was of one of the lights coming loose and clocking her on the head.
Hesitantly, she stepped out onto the stage and into the pool. Looking into the house, she was unable to discern any faces, but she could make out a couple of bodies sitting in the middle of one of the rows. The director and assistant, she surmised.
“You are…Dipper Pines?” one of them, Dipper assumed the director, asked.
“That’s right,” she replied.
“The last girl was names Pines, wasn’t she? Are you related?”
Dipper nodded. “We’re twins.”
“Very good. Glad to have you here. In your own time, please slate and present your monologue.”
She nodded, willing her shaking hands to stay at her sides. She cleared her throat. “I-I’m Dipper Pines, and this is from As You Like It.” She brought her monologue up and began to recite:
“Think not I love him, though I ask for him.
‘Tis but a peevish boy; yet he talks well;
But what care I for words? Yet words do well,
When he that speaks them pleases those that hear.
It is a pretty youth: not very pretty:
But, sure, he’s proud; and yet pride becomes him:
He’ll make a proper man: the best thing in him
Is his complexion; and faster than he
Did make offence his eye did heal it up.
He is not very tall; yet for his years he’s tall:
His leg is but so so; and yet ‘tis well:
There was a pretty redness in his lip,
A little riper and more lusty red
Than that mix’d in his cheek; ‘twas just the difference
Betwixt the constant red and the mingled damask.
There’s be some women, Silvius, had they work’d him
In parcels as I did, would have gone near
To fall in love with him; but, for my part,
I love him not nor hate him not; and yet
Have more cause to hate him than to love him:
For what had he to do to chide at me?
He said mine eyes were black and my hair black;
And, now I am remember’d, scorn’d at me.
I marvel why I answer’d not again:
But that’s all one; omittance is no quittance.
I’ll write to him a very taunting letter,
And thou shalt bear it: wilt thou, Silvius?”
She reached the end and closed her eyes. She was certain she’d butchered it horribly. She paused at the end of every line, making it all sound stilted and disjointed. Even to her untrained ear, she knew she’d done it wrong. She waited for the inevitable admonishment.
“Okay,” the voice came. “Thank you, Ms. Pines. Could I have you please reread lines five through nine? Only this time, don’t pause between the lines, and ignore the punctuation. Go with your instinct as you read.”
Dipper nodded, surprised. No chastisement? No lecture on how to do it right? Okay, she thought, let’s give this another go. She took a deep breath and began again.
“It is a pretty youth…not very pretty. But sure, he’s proud. And yet, his pride becomes him. He’ll make a proper man. The best thing in him is his complexion. And faster than his tongue did make offense, his eye did heal it up.” She blinked. That was…much better.
“Thank you, Ms. Pines,” the director said.”The cast list should be posted by the end of the school day tomorrow outside my classroom. Thank you for coming in.”
“Thank you,” she replied before turning and going back downstairs. Mabel was waiting to meet her.
“How’d it go?” she asked.
“Better than I thought it would be,” Dipper admitted. “I still don’t think I got a part, but I guess I wasn’t terrible. At least, by the end of it.”
Mabel put an arm around her twin. “Don’t worry about it, Dip. I’m still proud of you for trying.”
Dipper smiled. “Thanks, Mabel.”
“Now let’s get some supper to celebrate. My treat.”
Her smile widened. “You’re on. And if either of us are cast, tomorrow will be my treat.”
*****
“Dipper!” Mabel cried, crashing into her as she stepped out of her last class. She stumbled back, using a hand to steady the two of them.
“Mabel, is everything alright?” she asked, concerned.
“Of course, silly,” Mabel replied. “The cast list is up! Let's go check it out together.”
Dipper nodded, letting her twin lead her down the hall. Even though she was anticipating rejection for herself, she still hoped Mabel got in. Further up, she could see a small gathering of their classmates. As they drew near, some of them looked their way. Dipper noticed a curious look in their eyes.
“Um, Mabel,” she started as they reached the bulletin board.
“Just a sec, Dipster,” Mabel said as she looked at the list. A moment later, she gasped. Instantly, Dipper was looking over her shoulder, scanning to see what had just upset her twin. She quickly spotted Mabel's name, alongside the name Juliet.
Wow, Dipper thought, she didn't just score a part, she landed the lead! Relieved, she turned to offer her congratulations, when she caught sight of her own name. Surprised, she looked to see who she was cast as.
Dipper Pines: Romeo
“You’ve made a huge mistake,” Dipper said.
“And what would that mistake be, Ms. Pines?” Ms. Callahan asked.
“You cast me in Romeo and Juliet.”
Ms. Callahan nodded. “I did.”
“As Romeo.”
“Again, I did.”
“And my twin sister as Juliet.”
“Ms. Pines,” Ms. Callahan said, “it’s called ‘acting.’”
Dipper held her hands out to her. “Exactly! And I can’t act.”
“Ms. Pines…May I call you Dipper?”
Dipper sighed. “Sure.”
“Dipper, we’re not looking for the next Olivier. Your audition was actually quite good, considering. You listened to my direction and did what I asked, and your second reading was much improved. I honestly believe you can carry this part.”
Dipper stared at her, dumbfounded. That was two people now who’ve told her that. She still had a hard time believing it herself, but could there really be something to what they say?
“Will you at least give it a try? You’re not the only person new to Shakespeare in the cast. We’ll be spending some time on the basics.”
Dipper scratched her head. What would the harm be in trying? “Alright,” she said. “But maybe have a backup handy, just in case I can’t cut it.”
Ms. Callahan smirked. “I don’t believe that will be necessary.”
Dipper turned and stepped into the hall. Mabel was leaning against the wall nearby. “Well,” she asked, “what happened?”
“She convinced me to give it a shot.”
Mabel threw her arms around Dipper and squeezed her in a hug. “Good for you, Dip!”
“I just hope I’m not making a huge mistake.”
*****
“But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
It is the East and Juliet is the sun.”
Rehearsals had been going on for a week. True to her word, the first few rehearsals had focused on iambic pentameter and scansion. Dipper had dutifully gone through the entire script, not just her own lines, and marked every stressed and unstressed syllable. She noticed how Shakespeare didn’t always adhere to the meter, spotting some feminine and Alexandrine endings, along with some trochees starting some lines.
Finding them was easy; speaking the lines was proving difficult. She paced the floor of her and Mabel’s room, practicing Romeo’s big soliloquy.
“O, that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek.”
“Not bad,” a voice startled Dipper from the doorway. She whirled round to see Mabel there. “But I think Ms. Callahan is looking for Romeo to sound like a human and not a Dalek.”
Dipper fell onto her bed with a groan, tossing her script into the air. By luck, it landed squarely on her face. “I’m never gonna get the hang of this.”
There was a moment of silence, then she heard her twin tittering. She lifted the play from her face to glare at her. “What’s so funny?”
“Say what you just said again.”
“What? ‘What’s so funny?’”
Mabel shook her head. “No, before that.”
“I’m never gonna get the hang of this. It’s true!”
“Again.”
Dipper rolled her eyes. What was Mabel’s point? “I’m never gonna get the hang of this.”
“Now count the syllables.”
Dipper blinked. Count? Uncertain, she did. Ten syllables, just like…
“Now do your scansion.”
Dipper was already ahead of her. “I’ll be damned,” she said. “It scans.”
“Now what was that about not getting the hang of it? You’re overthinking it. We naturally tend to speak in that rhythm already. Don’t focus on it and just let the words flow. Then you’ll find the poetry.” Mabel danced into the center of the room and began to recite.
“Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say 'Ay,' and I will take thy word: yet if thou swear'st, Thou mayst prove false; at lovers' perjuries. Then say, Jove laughs. O gentle Romeo, if thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully: or if thou think'st I am too quickly won, I'll frown and be perverse an say thee nay, So thou wilt woo; but else, not for the world.”
As she spoke, Dipper noticed an aura begin to form around her. Mabel was always the performative type, singing, dancing, and the like. Right now, though, everything just seemed to crystallize around and within her. Dipper was breathless. Even after Mabel had finished, told her that she could do it, and bounced out of the room, she was entranced. Her heart was beating rapidly.
Mabel believes in me, she thought, her heart swelling at the mere idea. I mustn’t prove her wrong.
*****
“What satisfaction canst thou have tonight?” Mabel asked, standing atop her bed.
“The exchange of thy love’s faithful vow for mine,” Dipper replied, looking up at her twin. Rehearsals had been progressing smoothly. After her earlier revelation, Dipper had taken to the process with a newfound vigor.
“I gave thee mine before thou didst request it.” Mabel paused and placed a finger on her chin. “And yet I would it were to give again.”
Dipper gave her a look of mock indignation. “Wouldst thou withdraw it? For what purpose, love?”
“But to be frank, and give it thee again,” Mabel said, tapping her finger on Dipper’s nose. “And yet I wish but for the thing I have. My bounty is as boundless as the sea. My love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite.”
As Mabel spoke, Dipper drifted closer and closer to her sister, their faces coming only inches apart.
“Dipper!” their mother’s voice called from the kitchen.
Dipper forced herself to turn away from Mabel to answer. “Yes?”
“Please come down and set the table.”
“I hear some noise within,” Mabel continued. “Dear love, adieu!”
Dipper smirked up at her. “A thousand times the worse to want thy light.” She slowly backed towards the door. “Love goes toward love, as schoolboys from their books. But love from love, toward school with heavy looks.”
“Romeo!” Mabel suddenly blurted.
Dipper quickly closed the gap again. “My dear?”
“At what o’clock tomorrow shall I send to thee?”
“At the hour of nine.”
“I will not fail. ‘Tis twenty years till then.” Mabel fell silent a moment. “I have forgot why I did call thee back.”
Dipper grinned. “Let me stand here till thou remember it.”
Mabel sighed. “I shall forget, to have thee still stand there, remembering how I love thy company.”
“And I’ll still stay, to have thee still forget, forgetting any other home than this.”
“Dipper!” their mother shouted, jolting the twins back from the clouds.
“Good night, good night!” Mabel said. “Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.”
Dipper bowed as she backed towards the door before ducking out of the room. Mabel kept looking towards the door for several seconds afterward. Dip’s really come a long way, she thought. We were so on point just now. She still felt flush with excitement.
Very quickly, though, she felt a tiny pang in her heart. It almost felt as though something were missing. She had no earthly idea why that could be. The only thing missing here is Dipper, and she only went to set the table.
The pang amplified at the thought of her sister. She stood there, stunned. What…what was that?
“Mabel?” Dipper’s voice called from the steps.
Her pulse quickened. What the… “Yes,” she answered.
“Dinner’s ready.”
Mabel crossed to the door, feeling her excitement rise with each step. Come on, Mabelton. It’s just your sister. Why are you acting like this?
She wasn’t sure she really wanted the answer to that question.
*****
Mabel licked her lips, debating for the umpteenth time whether to go through with this. Make up your mind, Mabel-Sable. Either do it or don’t but at least commit. Not that she didn’t understand her nervousness. If she was wrong about this, there could be serious consequences. And if she was right, there was a whole other set of consequences to contend with. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves and stepped into the bedroom, closing the door behind her. Dipper was on her bed, going over her lines.
“Hey, Dip?” Mabel asked.
“Yeah?” Dipper answered, not looking up from her script.
“Can we go over one of our scenes?”
Dipper peeked over the top of her script. “Sure. Which one?”
Mabel swallowed. “The party.”
Dipper frowned. “Really? I thought Ms. Callahan said we were all set on Act One.”
“Yeah, I know, but, I’d just like to try something. I thought of another choice Juliet might make.”
Dipper shrugged. “Alright,” she said, rising to her feet. She set her script aside and stepped up to face Mabel. “Where do you want to start?”
“From ‘If I profane,’” Mabel said.
Dipper nodded and let herself fall into character. “If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine,” she said, gesturing to Mabel, “the gentle fine is this: my lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.”
Mabel laughed. “Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this.” She took her sister’s hand in hers. “For saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch, and palm to palm…” She paused, shifting their hands to match her words. “Is holy palmers kiss,” she whispered.
Dipper’s heart skipped a beat. She looked into her twin’s eyes and saw something new there. Something simultaneously enticing and frightening. She swallowed. “Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?”
Mabel nodded. “Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.”
“O, then, dear saint,” Dipper said, her hand automatically finding its way to Mabel’s cheek, “let lips do what hands do.” She absentmindedly brushed her thumb along Mabel’s lips. Her sister instinctively pursed them and pressed back against her. “Th-they pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.”
Mabel shook her head. Dipper’s hand followed along. “Saints do not move, though grant for prayers’ sake.”
“Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.” Before she knew what she was doing, she brought her lips onto Mabel’s. Mabel’s breath caught. This wasn’t a stage kiss. Dipper was truly kissing her. After a moment, Dipper pulled away and looked at her. Her eyes quickly grew fearful, afraid that she had royally screwed something up. Unable to think of anything else to say, she continued with her line. “Thus, from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged. “
Mabel looked at her twin, breathless, then smiled. “Then have my lips the sin that they have took.”
Dipper couldn’t believe it. “Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again.” She mashed her lips to Mabel’s again. Mabel instantly wrapped her arms around her sister, pulling them tight together. They tipped over and collapsed on Dipper’s bed, holding the kiss all the way down before Mabel gently broke it.
“You kiss by the book,” she said. A moment later, they both began giggling.
After a moment, Mabel sobered up. “Dipper,” she said, “are you okay with this? I mean, we are sisters.”
“Mabel, if I wasn’t okay, I wouldn’t be doing this.” She brought their mouths together again, her hand gently grasping the back of Mabel’s neck. Mabel’s hands found their way along Dipper’s sides, her fingertips grazing her twin’s breasts. Dipper parted her lips in an involuntary moan. Taking advantage, Mabel prodded her tongue against them. Her sister opened her mouth wider, allowing her entrance, meeting Mabel’s tongue with her own.
Mabel sighed softly, savoring every second of this new experience with her sister. They lay there, kissing and embracing, for several moments, the scene long since forgotten, before Mabel slowly pulled away. Dipper followed her as long as she possibly could before reluctantly letting her go. They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment before Mabel giggled once again.
“You really do kiss by the book,” she said, and the pair were off in gales of laughter again.
*****
Dipper and Mabel stepped out into the mezzanine and were immediately inundated with applause. As if the ovation they received up on stage wasn’t enough. Their parents and friends all huddled close, offering words of congratulations.
“It looked and felt so real!” one friend commented.
“Which part?” Mabel asked.
“All of it. The fighting, the acting, the music. It was amazing!”
“Yeah,” another friend said. “I legitimately cried.” He pointed at his reddened eyes. “Just look at me!”
They all laughed. Finally, one of them had the nerve to bring up the elephant in the room. “So…how was it?”
“How was what?” Dipper asked.
“Playing the leads, playing lovers. Wasn’t it…you know…a little weird?”
Dipper and Mabel gave each other a knowing look and smiled before turning back to their friend.
“Nope,” Dipper said.
“Not weird at all,” Mabel added.