Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

No one wants such a prognosis, but some things cannot be helped. Part of it is Jayce’s fault with his self-destructive habits after he left. The overwhelming guilt of driving the one he loves to such an extreme state that they’re now enemies eats him up inside; sleepless nights and tears of regrets eventually get drowned out by the alcohol and reckless style of fighting.

That’s the only way they get to see each other.

They take turns raiding each other’s labs, but most of the time, Jayce takes something he knows Viktor won’t miss and adds it to his collection of cherished things that remind him of his former partner. Even each mark and scar on his body becomes a memento of their time together. The cut under his left eye from when the Hexclaw misjudged his shoulder – even through the mask, Jayce could see Viktor’s guilty face for the mishap; a forever bald part of his knee where it got caught in a fire from Viktor’s rocket; the uneven line across his chest from the shrapnel of his door when Viktor thought that he was away, but Jayce was sleeping in his lab after another dreamless night under the influence of the drink. He really thought that he was going to die then, even seeing some ribs stick out, but who saved him?

The Machine Herald, of course.

Still drunk, Jayce faintly recalls being cradled in those cool armoured arms as Viktor laid him across the table, spewing curses in his mother tongue at Jayce and himself while cleaning the wound and stitching him up. Through bleary eyes, the man smiles when the human hand of his ex-partner cups his face, warning him of the pain, but it was worth it to Jayce to feel the warmth of the other again.

Since that near-death experience, Viktor’s been milder in his attacks. Doing things that inconvenience Jayce rather than harm him (they still have an act to put on after all). Things like making the door hinge super creaky so that Jayce gets a headache, or (somehow) modifying 80% of his draws to only open 3 inches before getting ‘stuck’.

Jayce feels himself smile at the memory and shakes his head. “Typical V, always knows exactly how to annoy me.”

“He’s doing that thing again… is it the drugs?”

“Don’t be rude, Vi. Just let him be.” Caitlyn sighs as she swipes a wet cloth over the man’s forehead. “Thinking about him again?” She takes his hand to wipe it over.

Ever since he’s reached the final stage, Jayce is bedbound to his room. Who else but Caitlyn and Vi to take care of him? His mother’s dementia is worsening to the point where she can barely recognise herself, and well… Jayce doesn’t really have anyone else. The only person he cares about is him, but he deliberately withheld the information for fear of how he would react. For someone who removed their emotional receptors, The Machine Hearld still remains the most dramatic and emotional person Jayce knows. And he loves him for it.

“Why not tell him? I’m sure he’ll want to be here, with you.” Always the mediator, Caitlyn believes that everyone can be reasoned with. She knows just how much her best friend, and practically brother, pines for his partner. She was there to witness it all. The first time Jayce mentioned him, his face and eyes lit up in a way that she hadn’t seen since they were young. Their first successful project and the party that followed had Jayce’s eyes constantly scanning for his partner, practically begging him to be by his side. Then, their row and falling out almost broke his heart (it probably did), when Jayce’s role in the council isolated his partner, losing sight of their dream to help the people, so he made the decision to return to Zaun and publicly declare the Defender of Tomorrow his enemy.

The consequences of those actions and the following regret are clearly laid out in front of her.

Behind her, Vi scoffs, “Because he’ll probably put his brain in a jar or something, Cupcake!” The wet rag lands squarely on Vi’s nose, proving that the Sheriff’s aim is not just limited to guns. “What? He seems like the type!” As much as she loves her, Vi can sometimes say the wrong thing, especially when Jayce is around. It’s either an awkward dad joke or something that makes tears form in Jayce’s amber eyes. Sometimes the jokes land, but more often than most, her faux pas ends up making the man emotional rather than cheering him up.

At least this time, the joke worked, and a small smile spread over Jayce’s face. “I wouldn’t put it past him. He’ll probably keep it under his bed or something.” When he smiles, Jayce looks his age and not like a man who lived 100 lives and suffered through them all. The wrinkles around his eyes and scars add a subtle charm along with the salt and pepper hair. Caitlyn’s heard her fair share of comments about him being a ‘DILF’ and wants to shoot the young ones for being so misinformed. The only person that Jayce cares about, is also the person he’s most afraid to find out the news. “Sprout, can you do me a favour?” His eyes land on the clock on the bedside table. It’s just gone nine and Piltover’s lights are still glowing. “Can you check on Ma? I want her to be comfortable before I…” He passes her a box with a letter.

“Of course! We’ll do that now. You’ll probably want to rest.” The doctor gave him three months, and it’s been three months and two days. Jayce’s time is running out and everyone is mindful of his end-of-life care. With the Kiramman’s backing, he’s got access to the best doctors and treatments, but Jayce was the one to refuse treatment. As long as he knows that his mother will be safe, he can pass happily.

But something is keeping him here…

After Caitlyn tucks him in, leaving the bedside lamp on for ambience, and kissing his forehead lovingly (causing Vi to do the same), she leaves with a promise to see him tomorrow. Not that Jayce is optimistic. He takes it one day at a time; it’s always a gamble every time he closes his eyes, but that’s what illness does to you, doesn’t it?

With the soft voices outside his door, no doubt Caitlyn updating the nurse on his state, Jayce feels his body getting lighter and lighter. Closing his eyes, thinking about the good times, he almost didn’t notice it, but when it came to Viktor, he noticed everything.

“When did you know?” He says to the darkness. Even with his eyes closed, Jayce knows that Viktor will be leaning against the wall by his desk by the window.

“Late enough to almost miss the due date.” Comes Vitkor’s monotone, accented voice. When he realises that there’s no vocal converter, Jayce’s eyes snap open. “Why did you keep it from me?” The Herald emerges from the shadows; his armour shining so brightly in the dim lamp, that Jayce almost thinks he’s an angel to take him to the other side. His mask is still on with the glowing orange orbs for eyes and the Hexclaw points at him accusingly. Jayce will never get tired of his flare of the dramatics.

“I didn’t want you to worry.” As the words slip out, his throat catches, and he ends up in a coughing fit. Not wanting the nurse to come in and disturb them, Viktor takes up the role and helps the man drink some water. The gloved hand rubs gently at the bony back, and Jayce can already predict the lecture from the way he freezes. “What brings you here, Machine Hearld? Are you here to finally finish me off?”

“I have every right to after the stunt you just pulled!” He stands and turns away like he can’t bear to look at the dying man.

It truly is a sight. The once muscular, handsome, desirable Defender was reduced to this… a gaunt face, shaggy hair with hands that could barely hold their own weight, all from a lump in his stomach. Jayce did argue with Caitlyn about keeping his facial hair, but she insisted that he had to look his best regardless of the state he was in. The action was so asinine in the face of death, but that was her way of preparing for the inevitable, so Jayce couldn’t refuse her. The white sleeping gown seems to swallow his form as it contrasts with his ashy face. One glance and people can tell that he’s dying.

This is why Viktor is refusing to look at him; refusing to accept the truth.

“What did you want to achieve by not telling me?!” He starts to pace around the room with hands on his forehead, a habit he picked up from Jayce. “If this is your way of torturing me… then you win!” He turns and directs his attention to the man on the bed again. This time with fury in his steps, he jabs the Hexclaw at his former partner’s chest. It feels thinner than ever. “You’ve planned this right? You’re not ill and it was all a ruse to get back at me and – and –” The Herald goes quiet as he sits back on the bed.

Because he knows the other so well, Jayce can tell the exact emotion he’s feeling. Gently, he unclasp the mask and removes it from the former’s face. As expected, Viktor’s beautiful face and golden eyes stared back at him with a glare and slight pout on his lips, but most noticeable of all, he was crying. The sheen of tears streaks down his pale cheeks and his eyes threaten to spill more. He looks betrayed like Jayce would do the most sacrilegious thing and die before him. When most of you are non-organic, it’s easier to live longer.

Silently, he cups his partner’s face and brings their forehead together. Warmth blossoms in his chest at the familiar action. The thumbs can’t weakly wipe the tears away quick enough as they fall, but the intentions behind the actions are clear. Since when did robots cry?

“Who was the one who told me that they removed their emotion centres? And yet, you’re here, crying like a baby.” Despite the joke, Viktor doesn’t laugh. Shaking his head, he stands back and shrugs off his armour, leaving him mostly in his underclothes as he slips into bed with the man. Despite the illusion, only his right leg and left arm are robotic. The rest of his external body has a light metal coating and most of his organs are replaced to work better than his organic ones. Part of his disease was the weak lungs that would eventually kill him, and it’s one of Jayce’s biggest regrets to not help him elevate the pain earlier. Maybe all of this could have been avoided. The Hexclaw stays on, of course.  

Mindful of the tubes, Viktor lays his head on Jayce’s lap as he continues to pout and sniffle lightly. The sight of the familiar fully chestnut hair brings back memories of the lab, and suddenly, Jayce’s blazé attitude to his death plummets, and he wishes that he’s not dying, but to live with Viktor again. Suppressing a whimper, and it damn hurt, Jayce brings a hand to tenderly pet the unruly locks. He always loved Viktor’s untameable hair – it reminded him of his spirit, wild and assured.

“How long do you have left?” Viktor buries his face against Jayce’s tummy, which is not as hard or firm as it used to be. He peers up one glistening eye, and the man feels himself fall in love again with his partner. The words are caught in his throat as he tries to explain, but a part of him doesn’t want to tell Viktor. What if the doctors are wrong, and he’ll live until he’s eighty like most men in Piltover? What if this is a random disease that they misdiagnosed, and by next week, he’s back to normal and he can reconcile with Viktor? They can spend the rest of their days inventing and helping others – won’t that be sweet?

But when Jayce sees his hand, almost skeletal and translucent, he forces himself to swallow the bitter pill.

“Actually, V,  it’s passed… this is the second day overdue.” The reply is almost a whisper like Jayce himself didn’t want to admit it. Yes, he’s dying and the most important person in his life is obvious to it because he can’t stand the turmoil that it will cause him. He’d rather Caitlyn or Vi break the news, or Viktor learn it from the paper, because like with everything, Jayce is a coward when it comes to his emotions and the truth. This is probably karma for his cowardice.

At that, Viktor positively seethes as he springs up, eyes almost scarlet with rage as he takes something from his armour.

“I was going to use this to do something nice, but you need a beating, and I can’t do that to a dying man!”  Practically hissing, Viktor places two glowing pads on each temple before matching with Jayce. “Be warned, don’t fight back when I deal with you!” He presses a button on the case and suddenly, a jolt of electricity goes through them, before their eyes roll back and close.

Chapter Text

Blinking his eyes, Jayce realises that it’s midday, and his neck hurts. Sitting up, he rolls it to hear the clicks and cringe at the sound. He rubs his eyes and oh – his fingers are thick! His hands are huge! Were they always like this? Why did he never get bullied for how big his hands were?! Looking down, he notices he’s in his academy uniform with the white blazer and the Talis house-coloured tie that he always wore. His hair is full and voluptuous again and his body is filled out like he was young.

Looking around, Jayce quickly realises that he’s in the lab. Their lab. The cluttered desks, full chalkboards and floor strewn with stacks of books and random blueprint rolls. It smells like home and he can’t be happier to be back.

Is this a dream?

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Of all the possibilities, this is how you remember me?!” Hearing that familiar voice, younger and less bitter (but with just as much venom), Jayce turns to the sofa to see Viktor under the royal blue blanket they keep for their naps. “I give you this… and this is how you repay me!” He moves to get up, without his cane, but he doesn’t get very far, and soon, Jayce has Viktor in his arms to stop his face from kissing the floor (it should be kissing him instead!).

“Where are we, V?” Even his voice sounds sprightly and alive. He looks down at the other and feels himself smile at the familiar angle from when they used to have a height difference. His arms are around Viktor’s waist and he feels the back brace under it. Everything about them seems just like their academy days.

Viktor sighs because he knows it’s better to explain before kicking Jayce’s ass or else he’ll work harder to avoid the attacks to get an answer. Jayce helps him back on the sofa while he sits next to him.

“The device on your temples helps you relive your favourite memory for 24 hours.” He taps his temples. “Since you’re the primary user, it follows your will.” He takes the watch from Jayce’s pocket and sets it on a timer.

“Really? That’s amazing, V! What’s an awesome invention! How did you even –” Jayce’s compliments are cut short with a hand to his mouth.

Viktor scowls as he continues his rant, clearly deemed enough information to pass on. “And this is your favourite memory? This version of me?!” He gestures to his form and the leg brace.

While Jayce did feel guilty about making him relieve a past where he was suffering, this is the version of Viktor that he preferred. The one that he met, worked and fell in love with.

Slowly, he grasps the other’s wrist to pull his hand away to speak. “You always thought that there was something wrong with you, but your imperfections are what made me fall for you in the first place, Viktor.”

The other is stunned. His mouth agape as if he wants to retort, but it dies in his throat as he takes in the weight of the words. Tears almost spring to his eyes as he thinks about their past. While this version is the one Viktor hates the most about himself, the one with the restricting leg, poor lungs, and impending death from his disease, he struggles to comprehend how Jayce would even like, much less prefer this version. Even if they did not take their relationship further, staying in the awkward limbo of friends who are overly friendly and handsy with each other, the purpose was still there.

No one else spends as much time together as these two, bar Caitlyn and Vi, who just happen to be a couple. Even then, Vi once made a joke that the pair are closer than her and her partner because they’re always attached to the hip. If Viktor’s in the lab, then Jayce will be next to him. If Jayce is working in the forge, then you might spot Viktor in the back enjoying the heat in the winter as he works on his calculations. Even at the council meetings, Viktor will be sat right next to Jayce as he spews his dream about Hextech. Just before they fell out, the pair practically lived together; going as far as sharing a bed for ‘convenience’ (even if Viktor wakes up on Jayce’s chest with strong, warm arms wrapped around him most days).

Both have dreams of taking their relationship further. The simple fact, they’re idiots. Jayce is afraid of hurting Viktor (in all sense), and Viktor is afraid of being a burden to the former.  

If only they were braver…

The scene changes and they find themselves outside. It’s a bustling square with a statue of Heimerdinger in the middle and market stalls flanking the perimeter. Viktor recognises this as the main market square where the important civil offices are. In fact, when he turns, city hall is behind him.

“Wha – why are we here?” The earlier revelation is forgotten when he sees Jayce buying a small bouquet from a Zaun florist. The girl looks almost too young to work, but Jayce pays her double the price for such an insignificant product that it’ll be enough to last her a month. Viktor doesn’t know why the action warms his heart – maybe it’s the fact that through it all, Jayce’s heart is still as big as when they first met, or the fact that he still wants to help everyone he meets. “Jayce?” The bouquet of yellow tulips is framed by a halo of white baby’s breath thrust into his hands before the man takes his waist and leads him inside city hall. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Viktor sighs as he peers at the flowers. People say that flowers have meanings, but he wonders what yellow tulips and baby’s breath mean.

Eventually, when they make it to the correct department, Jayce explains himself. “Something that I should have done a long time ago… my biggest regret.” The plaque on top of the door reads “Marriages and Civil Partnerships”. Tentatively, Jayce holds out his hand for his partner and awaits his decision. Viktor seems frozen in time as he grips the bouquet tighter, eyes transfixed on the sign. “Viktor, please may I ask for your– oomph!” The proposal is cut off when the other practically leaps into his arms. The cane clatters loudly on the floor, but no one takes notice, as the pair embrace in a passionate kiss. Jayce pulls the other tighter (as if that’s possible) as their lips press against each other again and again. Even if this is a simulation, everything feels real. Viktor’s body heat, his fluffy hair and his wet lips as they imprint themselves onto Jayce. And for once, instead of running away, Jayce runs towards it. Towards Viktor and his warmth and commitment to be partners, properly.

“Let’s get married.”

*

24 hours never passed so fast, and yet, they got numerous things done.

Jayce visited his mother, who was still coherent enough to cook them a full, hearty meal to celebrate the good news. He takes a trip to his favourite parks and lectures. He worked in the forge to create their wedding rings.

Most importantly, they got married, of course.

“Viktor Talis.” They sit on the balcony of their shared apartment; Jayce practically turns into a human chair as he holds his husband lovingly in his arms. Viktor’s always recalled it looking like a generic showroom since it was furnished by the academy, but Jayce’s memory of it reveals that they made it homier than he thought. Little touches like blankets that smelled like each other thrown over the sofa, stacks of science books scattered around the dining table and who the hell wrote those equations on the windows?!

“A fitting name. I never asked for your surname when we met…” Jayce looks down in shame. “It’s one of my regrets.”

Gently, his husband tilts his face up to cup his face. “My surname is Talis.” The Piltover nightscapes reflect off Jayce’s eyes like gems as they gaze at each other. His hair is in disarray from their earlier activities (he’s got marital duties to attend to!), and his neck and shoulders look like he’s been mauled by a bear, but Jayce Talis has never looked better. There’s a glow to his complexion, the knit between his brow is gone and the tenseness has completely melted away. The comment earns him a kiss, then another, and another that escalates to a trail of them up and down his neck. Viktor lets out a giggle without meaning to, and Jayce has never heard a sound so sweet (well, maybe another sound earlier in the bedroom…) “You seem to have a lot of regrets, Mr Talis.” Viktor teases as he tries to get him to stop, but it brings back that cloud to his partner’s eyes.

Jayce checks the pocket watch and reveals they only have twenty minutes left. He gulps. Is that enough time to resolve a decade of emotional turmoil and misunderstandings? No – but when is a better time than now? “I do. Not being by your side is the biggest one. I should have been there for you, Viktor. I lost sight of what’s important, and lost you…” and my life, he wants to add. What is living if it’s not with the person you love? What is the purpose if it’s not to love and be loved? There’s someone out there for everyone, and Jayce fumbled his person so tragically. It’s only fair that he meets a tragic end.

The other shuffles in his lap, turning around so that he straddles Jayce to cup his face with both hands. “What’s done is done. There’s no point regretting it now that we can’t change the past.” Viktor tenderly pecks Jayce’s forehead, and the heat in his chest grows. It quickly accumulates into tears as his husband accepts the reality.

“This is how we should have ended up.”

“I know.”

“I should have told you that I loved you earlier.”

“I know.”

“I still love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“I’m sorry… for leaving you…” Jayce holds Viktor like he’s the most precious thing in the world (because he is) as he cries and pours his heart out to his partner. Every misgiving, every mistake and regret that plagued him in their time apart – it feels like his final confessions of his sins to lighten the spirit before he meets his maker. If there is another side, he desperately wishes to find Viktor again and live their life together the right way.

Through it all, Viktor stays hushed as he strokes his husband’s hair to comfort him. This journey isn’t about him.

By the time they have two minutes left, the pair just sit silently holding each other, because it’s probably the last time that they’ll be this close as husbands.

Chapter Text

Hand to heart, Jayce almost wished that he passed in the middle of the dream. The sensation of holding Viktor, being surrounded by his smell and essence is enough that he can go happily.

So, when he opened his eyes to see the familiar bedroom that he’d been stuck in for the past months, Jayce was surprised. Everything is still in the same place; the desk in the corner, the stained-glass lamp, the glass of water still half-full, but the clock now reads three am.

He’s just experienced 24 hours in the span of five – whatever Viktor created; it’s going to change the future significantly. But when he turns to admire his work, his heart drops to find that he’s actually alone. The coldness of the room seeps into his bones as the fear that it really was all a dream sinks in. Maybe Vi was right, it’s the drugs… even the pads at his temples are gone…

“I got you!” Suddenly, a familiar face springs from the foot of the bed. Viktor’s got a rare look of victory on his face as he stands with the case in his hands. “You should get carpet for this place; the wood is slippery and you can lose things under the bed!”

There he is: The Machine Herald. Not as fearful as people think. He might be a vengeful Zaunite hellbent on making the Defender of Tomorrow’s life a pain, but the (rightful) hate is only directed at him. If people bothered to learn about him, then they’d know that he improved the toxic air quality for more than half of the population, gives free repairs of augmented parts to those who need it, and always, strives to help the people. Yes, he may look terrifying with the vocal modulator and Hexclaw, but if people saw his face, Jayce bets that they’d fall in love at first sight because Viktor is the most stunning man he’s ever laid eyes on.

He wants to tell him even though he’s told him numerous times in the dream while in bed tangled in each other, but what comes out instead is: “I’m cold.” Jayce’s lips quiver.

It’s starting… this is what it feels like, isn’t it?

The other’s face softens as he shrugs off the Hexclaw and climbs back into bed. His voice is just as soft when he arranges them with Jayce between his legs as he embraces him from behind. “I shall keep you warm. Rest.” Viktor’s hands stroke at his hair and arms lovingly as he buries his head against his partner’s thinning hair. He clams up because he knows that he can’t keep the emotion out of his voice if he speaks. Of all people, Viktor knows the feeling well, met it a few times, and he knows best that what you’d want in that moment, is a warm embrace.

They sit together in silence; the scene the opposite of their dream earlier. Now, Jayce is the one that’s being held like he’s the most precious thing in the world to Viktor (because he is).

“Viktor… did I tell you that I…” He wheezes as he struggles to get the words out. Viktor would stop him, but he knows how stubborn Jayce is. “I love you?”

“You did.” The man holds his partner tighter. “I love you.”

Without looking at him, Viktor could tell that he was grinning like an idiot. Jayce relaxes in his hold as he clutches at the hands holding him as if he never wants them to go.

Soon, his breathing slows as he drifts off.

*

The early demise of The Defender of Tomorrow serves as a reminder that everyone is human at the end of the day.

His funeral is held a week later in the academy park near the water where he frequently visited alone. The main part ceremony is closed off for family and friends only, so the public is left to crowd around the perimeter to catch a glimpse of Sheriff Kiramman’s speech. Everyone’s holding flowers in their hands to throw at the coffin as it makes its way to the final resting place on the Talis family plot.

Delicate golden petals of the acacia flowers rain over the mass as they prepare for the event to start. Caitlyn helps Ximena settle in her seat, making sure that she’s comfortable despite her confusion about the funeral. Vi gives her a nod to reassure her that she’s got her back when a noise from the crowd draws their attention.

In the middle of the aisle, appears The Machine Herald. His entrance is almost magical as the petals circle and flow around his body delicately. While it’s shocking that he’d turn up to the funeral of The Defender of Tomorrow, the most pressing element, is the fact that he looks human again.

Gone are the armour and Hexclaw, this version walks with confidence in a sleek all-black suit. His striking bone features and tender amber eyes immediately capture the attention of the eagle-eyed guests as they whisper their astonished, yet admiring thoughts to the Machine Hearld’s face reveal. In his hands is a bouquet of yellow tulips and white baby’s breaths.

The enforces raise their weapons, but Caitlyn knows better and immediately commands them to stand down.

“You made it.”

“How can I miss such an event?” Viktor replies quietly as he holds up his left hand. “I can’t miss my husband’s funeral.” Caitlyn knows the ring well, she’s the one who sent him the box per Jayce’s last request.

Nodding, she steps aside to let him take space next to Ximena. Vi can stand at the front, she likes staying vigilant in big crowds. Although, it’s a risk because who knows how the older woman would react. Half the time, she barely knows her own name –

“Viktor! Viktor!” Ximena chants as she holds her hands up to him. To everyone’s surprise (again), the man smiles as he leans down to greet the old lady. “I missed you! I don’t see you anymore.” Her beaming grin is so much like her son’s.

“Apologies, I have been busy.” Viktor kneels before her as she strokes his face. Unlike her son, he didn’t destroy his body in a way that ages him, if anything, the augments make him look younger.

“Thank you for being here. He wouldn’t want it without you.” In a rare moment of clarity, she laugh-cries as her hands tighten on the man’s face before bringing him in for a tight embrace. “Jayce really loved you.” At Viktor’s stunned face, Ximena laughs heartily. “A mother always knows!” She pulls him again, making him sit next to her, the place reserved for family.

Caitlyn coughs lightly at the exchange before she forces herself up on the platform to begin her speech. “Most of you know him as the Defender of Tomorrow, but I know him as Jayce Talis. Brother, son and partner whose heart held endless love for the ones he held dear…”

As he listens, Viktor clutches at the bouquet tighter. He managed to find out what the flowers meant. Yellow tulips for unrequited love and baby’s breath for everlasting love.

They took numerous risks together with Hextech, but if they took a risk where it really mattered – what they wanted deep in their hearts, then Viktor wouldn’t be here like this… wishing that Jayce was holding his hand instead of his ageing, ailing mother who’s buried her son before her. Whose grief doesn’t seem as severe as the man who loved Jayce Talis with all of his heart, as she comforts him when he breaks down at the cold, hard truth that he’s really gone…

No more foolish raids to steal each other’s trinkets. No more dramatic monologues about how they’ll bring each other down. No more dashing smile or a gaze from those amber eyes.

No more Jayce Talis to love him.