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Ben Tennyson had always been recognized as a hero. Ever since he had found the omnitrix protecting the galaxy and in some occasions the universe from those who wanted to destroy it had been a recurrent part of his life. He would be lying if he said he wasn't proud of himself for that but at the same time it was an extremely bittersweet sentiment.
Partially that was one of the reasons he had always preferred having very mundane interests or not really getting attached to the people he had met throughout his life. Ben valued every second he had been able to be a hero but he also wondered what had made him good enough to get the Omnitrix.
Still he had never let those feelings of inadequacy take control of him or at least not completely, yes he had his bad days in which even getting out of bed was a monumental task and there were the far better days where he would even enjoy driving around the city alone while listening to music.
Right now he wasn't sure if the day was gonna be worth it. For starters it was Saturday which meant he hadn't planned anything with anyone, the night before he had fought with his mother again and he wasn't sure if his outburst had made Gwen mad.
Going back to sleep didn't sound like a bad decision and at the same time he wanted time for himself, to unwind from the really bad couple of days that had just passed. Maybe he could sleep during the day and drive in the empty streets at night. He did.
Getting out of his house had been easier than expected since nobody had tried to stop him because they were busy ignoring him. Whilst it hurt he was completely sure it could have been worse, he grabbed his keys and jacket. Started the engine and off he went. Speeding through the night, not caring about a single thing.
It was a weird feeling, the universe was vast and in some cases unforgiving. There had been moments where he wanted nothing else than being free from every responsibility that tied him. His life had been chosen for him once the omnitrix latched securely onto his wrist, no one could expect a very impressionable kid to not want said power. He yearned to be something more and he became a hero.
He was getting to the nearest highway. He accelerated even further. Ben could choose now or at least try because the next time any sort of problem arose it was expected of him to figure out a solution, execute it perfectly and remain tethered to the fate that he had forged until now. But he didn't want to risk his friends' lives every time some alien stirred trouble, he wanted nothing else than to be just a normal guy with a normal life.
Car accidents were common among young teens, they were always an accident that steemed from the cockyness one could feel while behind the wheel. That feeling was invigorating just like pulling a knife through his wrists, it was your life and getting out alive was the most deranged but doable feat. Not even a hero like him could stop his death and even if he could he might have just embraced it either way.
But no, the universe needed saving, the universe needed him, the omnitrix needed him. A meat puppet that thought of ways to make himself great while destroying everyone around him. A puppet that felt greatness that belonged to something else.
The omnitrix made sure to let him live again. His body wasn't damaged beyond repair, the doctors would be able to fix it. They would say his survival was a miracle. His friends would think none of it when just a few weeks after being released from his white and happy and already out of his mind room he tried to speed again only to be stopped by his niece and her magic.
She could always see through his lies. He swore it was just his eagerness to be back but it wasn't he wanted to be gone, to never see the light of day, to lose himself to whatever as long as he didn't have to think, to have a silent mind and a nightmare less sleep. No spell could get him to have the peace he wanted.
No matter how much he tried nothing worked and then he wasn't sure there was a solution, his parents kept thinking he was just a lazy disappointment and while he was sure some of his friends were starting to notice his declining mood, his unending sadness and even the way he couldn't care enough to eat or drink anything.
Every day his face looked more sunken and there was no way to get him to do anything other than just existing, staring at walls while spacing out, even his teachers had given up on berating him for doing absolutely nothing. In any case he couldn't get himself to do much about the situation. Gwen had tried to convince him to go to a counselor but some of his friends from the football team had given him some weed.
The first few minutes were bliss. Then he was feeling even worse, more paranoiac and unable to remain still. He left for his house but decided against it after confirming that he looked like crap and his red eyes would give him away instantly. He stayed on the side of the road until Gwen and Kevin came looking for him. They drove off with him in the backseat, there was a bucket in his lap that Kevin had placed there in case he wanted to puke. He did.
They dropped him off at Grandpa´s Max. He stayed there for some months and while he didn't push Ben too much he didn't let him just rot in bed. He was patient with Ben and he could only be grateful for it. Most of the time they were just in silence doing their own thing and even when Ben cried out of nowhere Max was always there to comfort him.
Then his parents brought him back home and while his spirits were higher than earlier that year he didn't feel comfortable with any of what was happening. He was sure that he could make his own decisions but he knew what his last decision would be.
For the time being he would have to make do with whatever was thrown at him but that was only for the future to tell.