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“That’s new . ” Ratio’s detached voice almost startled the blonde as he fastened the accessory around his neck. Aventurine caught his gaze in the mirror, a sly smirk on his lips. “Does that mean you like it?” Aventurine turned around, displaying the front of the choker. It was about an inch thick of leather, fastened with a buckle in the back, and a slip chain pulled through two hoops on the front.
Aventurine chose this particular accessory for tonight for two reasons. One, he likes how it looks. A faint familiarity comes with wearing it, in a way where it’s almost comforting. Two, their mission is at one of the casinos he frequents, and he happens to know many of the men there and their… habits. They liked to touch, which the gambler was fine with, as long as he reaped some reward. The choker acted almost as a barrier between his neck's sensitive skin and strangers' rough hands. The first time a hand grazed the back of his neck he froze up, his brain sending him through a spiral of memories and nightmares for weeks. He almost compromised their deal that night, so he’s worn it ever since, especially when he knew the type of crowd he was walking into.
Ratio made a puzzled face, ignoring the flirtatious tone behind the gambler's words. “You look like a mutt.” He said with folded arms, casting his eyes elsewhere, earning a laugh from Aventurine. To anyone else, the choker won’t stand out. It blends well with the rest of his gaudy outfit, but Ratio sees Aventurine almost daily, and he couldn’t shake how much the thick black leather stood out. The black stripe reminded him of a dog collar, signifying that he is property, that he belongs to someone. Even though that wasn’t true, something didn’t sit right. Was this one of the gambler’s reckless self-sabotaging tactics again? Was he punishing himself for his past once more?
He let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We’re going to be late, gambler.” Ratio warned, watching as Aventurine practically pranced around the room gathering his things. “ Fashionably , Doctor.” Aventurine corrects and Ratio rolls his eyes. They leave their hotel room, walking down the grand staircase to the lobby. “You do the observing, I’ll do the sweet-talking,” Aventurine said as he effortlessly walked down the stairs, adjusting his glove on his left hand. “Since when do I take orders from you?” Ratio said in annoyance. Their car was parked out front, courtesy of the hotel valet in the lush hotel Aventurine insisted they stayed in.
“Actually, Doc, I’ll be taking orders from you. You point out the cronies, and then say “sic ‘em” and then I’m on it!” Aventurine flicked the chain on the collar, proud of his play on Ratio’s insult from earlier. Ratio scoffed in annoyance but didn’t argue further. Underneath Aventurine’s jesting vocabulary, their actual mission was stated. Ratio uses his deductive reasoning and profiling skills to find the table with the Annihilation Gang, and Aventurine infiltrates, joining the game and gathering intel. Easy peasy! , he can hear the gambler say as he clapped his hands together.
After the short drive, they arrived at the casino where the targets were supposedly inside. There was a regional poker tournament, making foot traffic even more difficult to deal with when entering. Luckily, Ratio was so tall, that he was easy to keep track of, but Aventurine’s shorter form was easily pushed through. Right as the gambler was about to say something, he got nudged again, almost falling forward but a hand wrapped around his wrist, keeping him upright. “Keep up, gambler.” Ratio said, guiding the blonde to stand in front of him. His hand stayed on his wrist, his other hand guiding the small of his back to put him in a safer position; in front of Ratio. The touches almost startled Aventurine, until he remembered that it was just the doctor. He wasn’t getting yanked out of the crowd and put into some strangers' possession. He felt his face getting warm, and he immediately spoke up to try and calm himself down. “Thanks, Doc. Might as well put me on the end of a leash so I won’t get lost, huh.” Aventurine said with a short laugh. Ratio didn’t find that comment humorous. “That won’t be necessary.” Ratio said after letting out a long breath. Aventurine wouldn’t get lost, not on his watch. He was used to the blonde gambling with his life and safety as the wager, while Ratio was the one to reel him back. That’s why their duo worked so well. Aventurine could afford to be risky, while Ratio was logical and strategic enough to save his ass.
Finally, the crowd died down as they passed the entrance, and Ratio removed his hands. “I’m going to get a drink,” Aventurine said, and Ratio’s hand was right back where it was, fingers wrapping around his wrist. “You cannot drink on the job you imbecile.” He said through his teeth. Aventurine shoved Ratio’s hand away, stepping closer to him. “This is part of the job, Doctor.” He said, looking up to meet red eyes. “Are you questioning my way of doing things or are you going to let me do what I do best?” Aventurine’s voice was playful and threatening, a smirk on his lips. There was a heady silence between them, gazes locked. Aventurine finally spoke up again, smoothing his fingers over the fabric of Ratio’s shirt. “Now, have some faith in me, Doc.” Ratio could feel Aventurine’s fingers prodding the pocket on his waistcoat. “And take this, you’ll need to blend in.”
Aventurine’s fingers lingered until his feet led him away towards the bar. Ratio watched him stupidly as if he was in a trance. Well, that is what he does best, making men act like fools. He finally pulled out what Aventurine put in his pocket. He almost choked on his own spit as he pulled out at least a couple thousand credits. “Damn gambler.” He muttered to himself.
-
Ratio stood by one of the roulette tables, acting as if he was watching the game but was searching the tables in the room instead. “Having fun, Doc? Why don’t you put $100 on 17. The payout is one to thirty-two.” He heard the gambler’s voice in his earpiece. “Throwing away money isn't exactly what I call fun.” Ratio said, keeping his voice low and quiet. “These fools just keep betting on the same numbers hoping it will hit once but they just keep wasting their money. It’s much smarter to make bets on more forgiving spaces like black or red.” Ratio said, now actually watching the game of roulette. “Yeah, but that’s boring and negligible. The payout is one to one so you double it but that’s not worth your time.” The croupier spins the ball, the ticking of the wheel mildly agitating. “Everything is also very loud and flashy-“
“17 black!” The croupier called, and Ratio stopped. Aventurine would have been right, of course. “Reminds me of someone I know.” Ratio added, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Good thing Aventurine wasn’t here to see it.
“Told ya, Doc. I hope you’re collecting your winnings.” Aventurine teased, very well-knowing Ratio didn’t bet on a single thing. “What do you say? You want me to come show you how it’s done?” Aventurine's alluring voice echoes in his head. Red eyes caught sight of three men sitting at a table, all wearing sunglasses and similar clothing with subtle Ever-Flame patches on the sleeves. “There, targets at your ten o’clock.” Ratio said, sitting up a little to get a better look at the table.
“At… what? Where?” Ratio heard in his earpiece. There were very few times when Ratio heard Aventurine confused. Normally it’s a treat, but not during a high-risk mission. “Ten o’clock, gambler the table at your ten-“
“Left or right, Doc? Speak English please.” Aventurine said, trying to see if he could tell where the hell “ten o’clock was” himself.
Ratio rubbed at his temples. It seems a lesson on reading a clock will be added to our agenda. “Your left, gambler. The table with the tall dark-haired dealer.”
Aventurine looked at the poker tables. “Doc they all have- ohhh , I see them.” He said, knocking back the rest of his drink. The smell of alcohol on his breath helps him play the “clueless gambler” facade that he will need for the beginning of his operation.
After making his way to the table, he jumped up onto a stool, tossing down 500 credits to buy in. The chips were slid over in front of him, and he neatly stacked them in piles. The attention of the three men was immediately grabbed, probably solely due to his outfit. Good. He then put down 15 credits to pay the rake. “25 is the minimum.” The woman said, tapping his chips with her long nails. “Ah right.” He said, throwing out two more 5’s. Don’t pose a threat, you’re just a new player.
Ratio could hear the interaction between Aventurine and the dealer, and it clicked. He’s playing dumb, someone who isn’t a threat to the Annihilation Gang. Very smart.
The men started talking amongst themselves as Aventurine shuffled the chips beneath his fingers. He looked at his cards puzzledly, which grabbed the attention of the man next to him. “You’ll want to fold, that’s not a great hand.” The man said next to him, leaning a little closer. Aventurine looked at him and gave a nervous laugh. “I’ve only played Omaha, so I’m not sure what the difference is between Texas Hold’em.” He said, leaning just a hair closer. The man was happy to explain, telling him the differences between the two different games. While he spoke, he listened to the other two men. He heard them saying “Duke”… “red herring”… “Make sense?”
Aventurine looked at the man next to him and nodded. “Yeah! Yeah, that helps a lot, thank you.” Aventurine said with a smile before picking up his new hand. He played a few games at the table before he heard Ratio’s voice in his ear. “There’s more, the table behind you. They’re speaking to each other a lot more.”
Aventurine played the rest of his hand before cashing out and moving to another table. The men here were much different than the others. They were intimidating with an aura of danger. Bingo.
He took a seat right in between the four men, laying down double the money as before. “I thought I’d try my luck here. You gentlemen look like nice company.” He said, looking at the two men to his right. “You look like you’re winning big.” Aventurine pointed out, the man laughing and nodding, chewing on a toothpick in his mouth. “You trying to win big to pay off that pretty outfit you’re wearing?” One man on the left said. Damn, already?
Aventurine turned around, noticing the patch on his arm. “Am I that easy to read?” He said with a laugh. “I like to win big, which means sometimes I lose big.” Aventurine leaned closer. “But I win big more often than not.” The man’s eyes scanned over Aventurine’s body as he spoke, already taking quite an interest in the blonde. “I might break your lucky streak, pretty boy.” He said, pushing all of his chips forward. “All in.”
Aventurine made an effort to act surprised in his confidence, knowing that he had a straight flush in his hand. The odds of this man having a royal flush were next to nothing. “Hmm.. I like my odds.” Aventurine challenged, pushing all of his chips in as well. The three other men hollered and encouraged the high-stakes gambling. The thrill almost had Aventurine forgetting the objective here. “What’s this cool sticker?” Aventurine asked, running his hand up the man’s upper arm. The man’s tongue poked the inside of his cheek with a smirk on his lips. “Oh, you don’t wanna know, sugar.” He said, but Aventurine only pressed further. “Come on, let me be curious.” Aventurine hummed suggestively, nodding his head over to the table. “I win, you tell me?” He asked sweetly, his voice so sickly saccharine that he hardly recognized his own voice. He was a damned good actor. “And if I win?” The man asked, his finger looping into the chain of the collar. Aventurine’s breath caught in his throat. That’s what it’s there for, to play with so they don’t touch you. “I’m sure you can think of something,” Aventurine said, letting his hand fall back to the table. The look in the man’s eye told Aventurine exactly what he wanted, so he didn’t press to hear it out loud. The dealer motioned to drop the cards and the other three men yelled in surprise, drunkenly laughing at their crew member losing his bet. “Yikes…” Aventurine said, using his arms to corral the chips in front of him. “Like I said, I win big.” He said, stacking all of the chips. “So… the sticker…”
“It’s a patch.” The man corrected, his hand gripping Aventurine’s thigh right above his knee. “And we’re dangerous fellas, you don’t want to mess with us.” The man said, a disguised threat. Aventurine didn’t seem interested, although he was taking in every word the man said. He was looking forward until he was yanked by the chain, the collar tightening around his neck. “Understand?” The man said, and Aventurine nodded. “You heard of Nanook?” The man on his right said. Yes, this is what we need. The man on the left let go of the collar so Aventurine could turn to the other man. “We follow Nanook’s direction. That’s all you need to know.”
Aventurine looked puzzled as if the man’s answer meant nothing to him, but that was just what they needed. “Well gentlemen, you know what they say, stop while you’re ahead.” He pushed the chips forward holding $10 to himself as he cashed out. The dealer swapped them out for larger chips, and he gave the dealer a large tip. “See ya.”
“Woahh where are you going?” The touchier man said, a large hand grabbing his waist. “Why don’t you watch? Maybe you’re a good luck charm.” The man said, trying to pull Aventurine back. “I gotta get going boys, really-“
“Sir, your ride is here.” An unrecognizable voice called from behind him. He didn’t even realize the voice was talking to him until the other men looked clueless as well. He turned around and saw Ratio, and a flood of relief washed over him. “Sorry! Maybe I’ll see you at the tournament tomorrow!” He called out as he waved and followed Ratio. Once they were out of earshot, Aventurine spoke up, playing with the chips in his hand. “I’m going to cash these out and then we can head back.” Ratio didn’t respond, only followed closely. Aventurine collected his money and beamed. “Look at how much I won, Doc!” He fanned out the credits and then turned around to finally look at Ratio’s face. He looked upset, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration. Aventurine knew that look, but this time he had no clue why it was there. “What’s up? We got what we needed. It honestly went smoother than I expected.” Aventurine said, but Ratio’s jaw clenched, and he started walking towards the exit. “Hey, wait,” Aventurine called, jogging to catch up to him.
“Let’s get to the car.” Ratio said, his voice strained and movements rushed. Aventurine sped-walked to keep up, trying to think of what went wrong. Was it something on Ratio’s end? Did he exploit their mission?
The drive back to the hotel was silent, even with Aventurine’s attempts at making his usual small talk. Ratio led them both to the hotel room with the same hurriedness, fumbling with his keycard to get in. Aventurine's hands covered Ratio’s as he looked up at him. “Hey, what’s wrong? Calm down.” He said, taking the key card from Ratio and opening the door. Ratio stormed in, immediately pacing back and forth. Aventurine has only ever seen this habit when Ratio’s studies didn’t pan out as he expected… so like, once before. “Doc, talk to me, was it the mission?” Aventurine asked, following him to the other side of the room. “Gambler I don’t…” Ratio spoke with a raised voice, taking a deep breath before managing his tone better. “I understand why you are the way that you are, but… why do you let people talk to you like that? Why do you constantly put yourself in those situations?” Ratio spoke with a frenzy. He hated misunderstanding, he hated not knowing, and Aventurine was the king of not letting anyone know anything about his personal life. “And this?” Ratio said, his hands going to the back of Aventurine’s neck, unfastening the buckle. He wasn’t going to spare another second of the blonde’s self-destructive behavior. Aventurine’s eyes widened as he tried to step back, but he couldn’t move. His body froze, feeling fingers grazing the back of his neck. “Why do you wear these… these items of possession like that’s what you are?” Aventurine felt the leather being pulled away from his neck, and his skin felt cold.
“Give it back,” Aventurine said, his voice flat and so unlike him . Ratio was taken aback, this new behavior was unexpected. “Gambler… I can’t let you continue with these self-destructive behaviors.” Aventurine’s brow furrowed as he looked up at the doctor. “I said give it back… please.” He demanded again, looking between the collar in Ratio’s hand and his puzzled face. Ratio was quiet, and Aventurine took a step closer. “Please you don’t understand I need-“
“Then help me understand, gambler.” Ratio interrupted with a pleading tone. “I… I can’t help you if you don’t explain to me what’s going on.” Ratio’s voice was soft, trying not to lose the chance he had for Aventurine to finally open up. The blonde sighed, looking down at the ground. “It… helps,” Aventurine said quietly. “In a non-self-destructive way.” He added, letting out an unsteady breath. “It covers my neck. I don’t… like people touching it. I don’t wear it to look like an object like I once was.” He explained, guessing that he was answering the questions that were being asked in the doctor's head. He held his hand out, looking up at Ratio. “Now can I have it back please?”
Ratio looked down at the collar, running his thumb over the leather. “That makes sense.” He said, handing the choker back to the blonde. Aventurine was quick to put it back on, fastening it tightly around his neck. “Gambler?” Ratio asked, looking down at Aventurine. He already looked a lot better. “Could I… hold you, for just a moment?”
Aventurine thought for a moment and then nodded. He very rarely hugged people, but Ratio was an exception. After nightmares or particularly rough missions, Aventurine was the one to approach Ratio for comfort. But the other way around… it felt way different. “Yeah, I guess so.”
Ratio sighed. “Yes or no, gambler. Be honest with me.”
Aventurine looked up at Ratio, his own breath shaky before nodding. “Yes please.”
Ratio bent down and wrapped his arms around Aventurine’s waist, resting his head on top of the blonde’s. “I’m sorry… I… miscalculated.” Ratio said, hugging him tightly. “It’s alright, it’s not a big deal. I just… wish I was able to get over it.” Aventurine said into Ratio’s chest. “I wish I could… get used to the touch. It seems like it’s easier to handle rough touching than soft.”
Ratio hummed, signifying that he was listening. “I… would let someone… who I trusted try to… revert that, you know? To get used to… a softer touch.” Aventurine spoke hesitantly, and Ratio just hummed again. The blonde laughed breathily, pulling away from their embrace. “I’m asking for you to do that… if you wanted to,” Aventurine said, finally deciding he needed to be direct. Ratio’s eyes opened wide, finally putting the clues together. The expression made Aventurine laugh, his usual smile put back on his face. “And you say I’m the dense one.” He teased. “It doesn’t… have to be sexual or anything. It’s already going to be intense because I’m not used to it so I probably won't be able to do much more.”
Ratio’s cheeks turned a bright shade of pink at the mere mention of sex. He looked around the room, clearing his throat as he tried to regain his composure. “Doc, you don’t have to, it was just a suggestion if you were up to it. No hard feelings.” Aventurine assured, but Ratio’s hand gently cupped his cheek, stopping him in his thoughts. “I would like to be the one to teach you what it’s like to be cherished and taken care of. I want to show you what it’s like to not be afraid and to accept someone’s help and affection.” Ratio said, pouring his heart into his words as if he were Prince Charming.
Aventurine looked into his eyes, unable to take his gaze away. It was sappy, but that’s how Ratio was and he loved every second of it. “Okay Doc no need to get all romantic with me-“
Aventurine was cut off as Ratio’s lips pressed against his forehead, leaving a soft kiss. Aventurine’s chest ached at the slightest bit of affection, not knowing what to do with himself. Ratio wrapped his fingers around Aventurine’s wrist, putting his pointer and middle finger over his pulse point. “Now please, one more time, tell me that you want this.” Ratio asked, feeling the blonde’s heartbeat beneath his fingers. “What are you-“
“I’m going to see if you’re lying to me. Your heart rate changes when you tell a lie.” Ratio said with a sly smile. “Now, do you really want me to touch you?” Ratio asked again and Aventurine nodded quickly. “Yes, Doctor.”
Ratio nodded and let go, carefully putting his wrist down as if he were made of glass. “Now go get changed into your pajamas. Something loose fitting and comfortable would be best.” Ratio said as he walked to his own bed. There were two beds in their suite, but Aventurine found it exciting that he was going to be in Ratio’s bed instead of his own.
Aventurine got changed in the walk-in closet, feeling… very nervous for some reason. He felt like a virgin and they weren’t even having sex. In fact, sex would probably be easier than whatever this is going to entail. He didn’t want to back out now, he still wanted to do this, to get over this fear.
He came out of the closet (heh) and saw that Ratio had changed too, sitting on the edge of his bed. “Come sit.” Ratio said, patting the bed next to him. Aventurine obeyed, sitting in the middle of the bed as Ratio sat before him. “I’ll have you lay on your stomach at some point, but I figured it would be best if you faced me to start.” Ratio said, recalling exposure therapy protocols. Aventurine nodded, fiddling with his hands in his lap. “And if it’s too much or you don’t like it, please tell me. If not, I will take any sign of discomfort as rejection and I’ll stop.” Ratio said seriously, and Aventurine quietly scoffed with a smile.
“I’m going to touch your face and jaw.” He explained, leaning forward and cupping his face with his large hands. He gently ran his thumbs across the blonde’s forehead, and the Avgin tried to stifle a laugh. “What are you doing?” Aventurine asked.
“It’s called kobido, a facial massage technique, and it’s supposed to help you relax.” Ratio said with playful annoyance, moving his thumbs to his temples. Aventurine’s eyes fell shut, letting out a soft hum. “This feels good, Doc but these aren’t my problem areas.”
“I’m aware but exposure therapy calls for preparation. You’re muscles need to relax or it might be uncomfortable for you.” Ratio explained, hardly noticing the small smile on Aventurine’s face. He opened one eye, pink and blue staring back at the doctor. Ratio’s eyes scanned Aventurine’s features for discomfort and stopped. “Keep going,” Aventurine said, closing his eyes again and keeping his dirty thoughts to himself.
Ratio observed the gambler’s face as he gently ran his fingers across his skin. He had nice eyelashes, long and blonde; hardly noticeable if he wasn’t this close. The bridge of his nose had a dorsal hump, typically hidden behind the bridge of his glasses. And his lips… Ratio never noticed how plush his lips were when they weren’t pulled tight in a smirk. The breath caught in Ratio’s throat as he found himself staring instead of observing. He quickly looked up at his eyes again, seeing they were still closed and he wasn’t caught ogling at his mouth. One hand fell to the bed, the other cupping Aventurine’s cheek with some fingers dipping down his jaw. He carefully grazed his soft hands across the blonde’s jawbone, inching his way down towards his neck. He let the backs of his fingers graze the skin covering his trachea, and he could see Aventurine’s body tense. “Look at me.” Ratio instructed, his voice firm but gentle. Aventurine’s eyes slowly opened, his irises dancing across Ratio’s face. “Can I take this off?” Ratio asked softly, his fingers gently grazing the leather. Aventurine thought for a moment and shook his head, and Ratio let out a surprised laugh, a wide smile spread across his face. Aventurine was a little startled, blinking out of his relaxed state. “What?” He asked, afraid of being belittled for wanting to wear the choker, but he wasn’t remotely prepared for what Ratio said.
“ Very good .”
Ratio was pleased with the blonde’s communication, giving him praise for doing such a brave thing. Aventurine cursed himself, why was he debilitated by two words? He blames it on the way Ratio said it, paired with the pure glee that he rarely got to see on Ratio’s face. He felt his cheeks get hot, which were fully on display for Ratio to pick apart and tease, but he didn’t say anything. “Where else is… sensitive?” Ratio asked, keeping the soft grazes of his fingertips on the small amount of exposed skin of his neck. Aventurine softly hummed before swallowing thickly. “My back.” He whispered, the vulnerability almost too much for him to handle. He felt his throat closing, his stomach aching, a pinging pain behind his eyes.
“Good, are you comfortable sitting on my lap? I’d like you to face me for this part as well.” Ratio suggested, not taking his eyes off of the gambler for a second. Aventurine nodded, avoiding his gaze until he was forced to look up with two fingers lifting his chin. “Yes or no, gambler. Use your words.”
Aventurine swallowed thickly and nodded again. “Yes, I’d like to do that.” He answered with a shaky voice, feeling tears collect in the corners of his eyes. He wasn’t sad, and he wasn’t quite sure why he was so close to crying. The Avgin hasn’t felt this vulnerable since he was just a teen, in that cell, in those hotel rooms… But this vulnerability was so different. He’s never experienced vulnerability that felt so… safe.
Ratio gently wiped the corner of his eye with the pad of his thumb, catching the tear before it rolled down his cheek. He rearranged so he was sitting up against the headboard and held out his arms. “Come here, dear gambler.” Aventurine let out a shaky sigh and climbed into Ratio’s lap, wrapping his arms around his neck and burying his face in his shoulder. His warm scent of sandalwood and jasmine was grounding. Ratio was warm and strong, a good anchor to hold onto if he felt like he was slipping. Ratio wrapped his arms around Aventurine, starting by hugging him tightly. His arms almost completely enveloped the blonde. He forgets how much of a size difference there is between them. He started to gently run his hands over the shirt covering his back, drawing small circles and rubbing up and down. Aventurine seemed pretty content with this touch, but Ratio knew that it was his bare skin being touched that he was sensitive about. “I’m going to touch you now, okay?” Ratio warned, letting his hand slowly slip up the back of his pajama shirt. He could feel his own shirt being bunched into Aventurine’s fists in anticipation. “It’s just me, gambler.” He whispered, letting his fingers slowly trace up his spine. Aventurine’s reaction was instant; his back arching and letting out a hiss as if he was touched with an ice cube. “Should I stop-”
“No! No… I’m fine.” Aventurine mumbled against his shoulder. “It’s just… hard at first.” He said before letting out a sigh. “Keep going.” He assured, but Ratio’s hand didn’t return to his back. “Doc? I’m okay really.” Aventurine said, pulling his head out from Ratio’s shoulder.
“Good, you’re learning.” Ratio said, gently letting his fingers graze his skin once more. “What… what do you mean?” Aventurine said, his voice strained as he looked down at Ratio. His body was strung tight like a bow, waiting to snap at any moment. “You’ve developed many conditioned responses from your experiences…” Ratio trailed off, observing the strained face Aventurine made as was gently touched. “Yeah… so what?” He responded, and Ratio could feel the slightest bit of relaxation. “Hearing my voice, looking at me, it’s helping you.” Ratio said softly, gently wiping a thumb across Aventurine’s cheek. His eyes opened and his expression softened, even as Ratio’s hand was now flat against his bare back. “I’m making myself a conditioned stimulus, reverting your negative conditioned responses to touch and transforming them to positive ones.”
Ratio’s voice alone was calming the blonde down exponentially. Hearing him speak in his long scholarly sentences in contingent with the touch… it was doing probably whatever Ratio was saying. “I’m not… a psychologist what does that mean?” Aventurine said, feeling the soft calloused hand run up to his shoulder blade. Ratio chuckled, dropping his hand from his cheek to join the other behind his back. “I’m replacing your bad memories and experiences with touch with good ones, essentially.” Ratio explained before leaning closer, nudging his nose against Aventurine’s jaw. “However, a conditioned response involves not only memory but an instinctual component, suggesting a more primal, automatic reaction beyond mere recall.”
Aventurine’s hands opened, letting go of Ratio’s pajama shirt and sliding up to play with the purple hair at the base of his neck. There was a warmth in his belly that came with Ratio speaking and touching him so intimately. It was making this experience so unique, so obvious that he was with Ratio and no one else. Ratio’s hands slowly came to circle around his waist, following his ribcage down. Aventurine twitched, and Ratio immediately looked up, not even realizing he was watching his hands come around his small waist. He saw a smile on Aventurine’s face, which immediately relieved him. “Tickles.” He whispered, putting his hands over Ratio’s and encouraging his hands to come around his waist. Thumbs slowly traced circles over the skin right above his pajama bottoms, and now both of their gazes were on Ratio’s hands. “Your hands are so big, Doctor,” Aventurine said, dangerously enthralling, especially for what position they were in. “Other men like my small waist too.” Ratio gripped harder than he had meant to, making Aventurine gasp. “Stop that.” He warned, feeling Aventurine’s hands cup his face. “Did you tell me everything that was bothering you when we got back?” Aventurine asked, one hand running back and threading in Ratio’s thick hair. “What do you mean? I thought my reasoning was adequately deft and sensible. Do you not believe me?” Ratio asked, feeling his heart rate increasing at being this put on the spot. “No I believe you, but I feel like there was something else unsaid,” Aventurine spoke softly, taking one of Ratio’s hands in his, and pulling it between them. He rested his own hand over Ratio’s heart and put Ratio’s over his own heart. “Were you jealous?” Aventurine asked with a smirk. Ratio’s face turned red, his heart beating rapidly under the gambler’s hand. “No, that’s…that’s nonsense.”
“Ahh Doc, I think I just used your theory against you.” Aventurine purred, holding Ratio’s hand firmer against his own chest. “Your heart is beating pretty fast. Now ask me if I didn’t not think that was hot.” Aventurine spoke enticingly, leaning closer to the doctor who wore a confused expression. “Didn’t not think… you’re using a double negative, I don’t think you’re going to get the outcome you want.” Ratio said, thinking over the question and realizing what the blonde said in the last part. “Oh that is ludicrous, jealousy is not attractive!” Ratio argued, the comment flying right over his head. “It is on you, Doctor,” Aventurine murmured lowly, pulling Ratio’s head closer by the back of his head and pressing their lips together. Ratio hummed in surprise, but reciprocated the kiss, carefully moving his lips against the blonde’s. His hand froze on his hip, realizing that he was kissing Aventurine in this intimate position. He pulled away, his cheeks flushed and his breathing heavy.
Aventurine was unbuttoning his own shirt with one hand, and Ratio’s eyes widened. “Gambler I don’t think… you’re not in the right…” Ratio couldn’t form complete sentences as he shamelessly watched more milky skin get exposed. “Just kisses for now… please?” Aventurine asked, feeling more comfortable with voicing his desire with the doctor. Ratio looked between Aventurine’s chest and his face, hesitantly leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss right over the gambler’s heart. His lips only barely grazed the surface, a featherlight touch that made goosebumps rise on Aventurine’s skin. His pajama shirt gathered around his elbow, and only one side slipped off his shoulder. Ratio looked up, his face still inches away from the blonde’s chest. The sight alone made Aventurine exhale a little too loud, revealing how much he was falling apart. After observing and not finding any signs of discomfort, Ratio leaned forward and pressed another kiss to his collarbone, earning a soft sigh from Aventurine. His hands continued to rub up and down the gambler’s back, mapping out the scars as if he were desperate to remember every raised bump on his skin. “Can I… tell you about my neck?” Aventurine asked, his voice was breathy and far away sounding. Ratio hummed against his skin, kissing a trail down his clavicle. “Before… everything it was sensitive. Once people found that out it was used against me. I can’t… hide that it feels good even when I don’t want it to. It reveals my mask that I’ve worked so hard for.” He spoke softly and smoothly, not choking up or struggling to get his words out. “I didn’t want to give anyone the pleasure of knowing that I actually enjoyed something… so I wouldn’t let them touch my neck.”
Ratio pressed long and soft kisses across Aventurine’s collarbone and shoulders as he spoke, simply just listening and soaking in everything the gambler shared with him. “You’re doing very well, Aventurine.” Ratio praised, letting his tongue dart out from his lips as he pressed a kiss to his shoulder. Aventurine’s hands held onto Ratio’s hair tighter and a small whine left his mouth.
Ratio’s hand carefully slid the pajama shirt down Aventurine’s other shoulder, kissing the newly exposed skin. The blonde rested his forehead against the side of Ratio’s head, his breaths increasing with urgency. He pulled Ratio back by his hair and smashed their lips together again. Ratio groaned into the kiss as his hair was pulled, melting against the blonde as they kissed passionately. They traded soft hums and eager touches, the kiss growing hungrier and feverish. Ratio could feel a tongue prodding at his lips, and he happily parted them, letting Aventurine taste and lap at the inside of his mouth. Ratio groaned again, the sound a little louder than the last. His hands pulled Aventurine closer by the hips, his head tilted up to kiss the smaller man. One of Ratio’s hands carefully toyed with the chain on the choker, making Aventurine smile against his lips. “Pull it, it feels good.” He whispered in between a kiss as Ratio trailed kisses across his jaw. “Are you sure, gambler?” Ratio asked softly, looking up at the blue and pink eyes as he pressed another kiss to his jaw. “It will when you do it.” Aventurine’s voice was breathy and impatient, and Ratio twisted the chain around his hand and tugged. He pulled the blonde closer by the chain, not too hard, but enough for the breath to catch in Aventurine’s throat audibly. A sinful sound followed; a husky whine from low in his throat that drove the doctor mad.
Ratio’s cheeks started to heat up from merely witnessing the sound coming from the blonde. Thin fingers wrapped around Ratio’s wrist and pulled down, Aventurine guiding Ratio’s movements to pull him further down. Red eyes were wide, watching the gambler as he practically manhandled himself with Ratio’s hand. Aventurine caught the doctor’s shocked gaze and laughed. “Don’t be so coy, doctor. You look like you just witnessed a crime.” Aventurine teased, his hand leaving Ratio’s wrist to lie on his chest. “Forgive me for wanting to be gentle, gambler.” Ratio replied, pressing his lips to Aventurine’s. “I’m not made of glass, Ratio.” He whispered against his lips. Ratio carefully grazed his fingers across the skin below the collar, testing the waters as Aventurine was distracted by their banter. “But your heart is , Aventurine.” Ratio whispered gently, pressing a kiss to the skin right below his jaw.
A small sound followed Aventurine’s shaky exhale, his eyes fluttering shut and tilting his head to the side. His hands quickly worked on the buckle at the back of his neck, the leather falling onto his lap with a clank. Ratio pulled away, trying to read the blonde’s expression. He was met with a pleading gaze, the tattooed skin bared towards him. “Touch me, please,” Aventurine asked with a shake in his voice. Ratio shook his head, looking between the bare skin and Aventurine’s eyes. “Gambler we might be moving too fast, I dont want to overwhelm you.” Ratio said, fingers comfortingly pushing hair out of the blonde’s eyes. “No… please,” Aventurine said, his voice small and quiet. He picked up one of Ratio’s hands and held it inches away from his sensitive skin. “Please, Veritas.”
Ratio swallowed thickly, tonguing the inside of his cheek in hesitation. “Keep your eyes on me… the whole time.” Ratio said, softly but sternly, earning a nod from the gambler. Ratio slowly pet the side of his neck with the backs of his fingers. The skin wasn’t much different from anywhere else on Aventurine’s body, but it somehow felt even more intimate. Aventurine’s body trembled, his fingers itching to take control, to smash Ratio’s hand across his throat to get this over with. The touch was so gentle, almost too gentle, maybe even more overwhelming than if he was rough. He could feel that aching want in his chest, the lump forming in his throat. “Gambler, I-”
“Harder.” Aventurine interrupted, not once taking his eyes off of the soft red ones looking back at him. Ratio looked confused, the gentle petting paused as he tried to understand what that meant. “Harder? What do you want me… are you sure-”
Aventurine’s hand quickly shot out, wrapping his hand around Ratio’s throat. He didn’t squeeze hard, just a gentle reminder of its presence. Ratio didn’t flinch, having full trust in the blonde, and then it clicked. Aventurine needed to develop that trust to break this curse his mind has put on himself, and Ratio wasn’t moving too fast, but maybe too slow . He’s been building heavy anticipation that was potentially making Aventurine more anxious.
Ratio nodded, pulling Aventurine’s hand off of his throat and kissing his palm. He cupped Aventurine’s cheek, wiping a tear with the pad of his thumb, and slowly making his way down to his neck. He was still gentle, but his hand fully rested on the side in seconds, pulling a sharp gasp from the blonde. “Breathe.” Ratio whispered, gently running his thumb over the front of his throat. Aventurine nodded, focusing on the gentle touches and warmth of Ratio’s hand. He could feel the skin burning, his brain setting off every alarm that this was dangerous but every time he opened his eyes he could see Ratio, and his brain was proven wrong. Ratio’s other hand slowly rose up to his neck, the side with the brand painted into his skin. With the same quickness, he rested his hand on the other side of his neck, both thumbs resting on the blonde’s trachea. Aventurine gasped and his eyes fluttered shut, an expression between bliss and unease. “You’re doing so well, my dear gambler.” Ratio praised, his voice low and soothing, making Aventurine let out a stifled whimper.
Ratio cradled the back of Aventurine’s head and the other braced his hip, leaning forward and resting him with his back against the mattress. Aventurine looked surprised, but pleased with Ratio’s choice, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. The doctor caged the blonde in with his arms, looking down at him with nothing but admiration. Aventurine’s hands tangled themselves in Ratio’s hair, gently pulling him down for another soft kiss. Being surrounded by Ratio’s arms and his presence and his scent , it was calming and overwhelming at the same time. Large hands slid up and down the small of the Avgin’s back and waist, the hands only millimeters from touching one another as they encircled him. Aventurine wanted more, greedy with the unfamiliar tender touch that his body was craving, but the doctor was plenty satisfied with what he had. He savored every touch and sound that came from the man beneath him, but it only made Aventurine more impatient.
Aventurine hummed into Ratio’s mouth, trying to pull him down further by his hair. The doctor’s hand gently cupped the back of his neck, scratching at the nape gently. “Ratio.” The blonde whispered as lips left his to travel across his cheek and across his jaw. “ Doctor .” He whimpered impatiently, and that seemed to get Ratio’s attention. His eyes fluttered open, looking down at Aventurine. He noticed the blonde was trembling, and an absolute mess. Tears were drying on his cheeks, his lips red from biting them, and a desperate look in his two-toned eyes. “Oh, darling.” Ratio whispered, his hand gently caressing the side of Aventurine’s face. Aventurine leaned into the touch and his eyes slowly shut.
Aventurine couldn’t tell if his body was overwhelmed with the intense intimacy, or if he was terrified. This was too good, he shouldn’t be allowing this. Ignorance is bliss with these types of experiences; you don’t know what you’re missing out on. The mere touch from Ratio’s hands felt like a blessing from Gaiathra herself, but he knew as soon as he accepted this, it will be gone. So … maybe he was terrified. Ratio’s hand left his cheek and laced his fingers with Aventurine’s, gently keeping his hand down on the bed. “Can I kiss you here?” Ratio asked, his breath warm against the skin of his neck. Aventurine tensed, not realizing that Ratio had gotten so close while he was lost in his thoughts. “Yes… please.” He pleaded, his voice breaking with fear and pleasure and anticipation and-
Oh . The gentle brush of Ratio’s soft lips against the taught skin of his neck… Aventurine hadn’t registered that he had made that sound out loud. His hand squeezed the larger hand in his, his head leaning to the side to expose more of his neck. Ratio’s lips were gone as quickly as they came, but the second kiss was just a little lower, right over the brand on his throat.
“ Ahh… oh D…Doctor. ” Aventurine mewled, his back arching, his legs bending to squeeze Ratio’s hips. His free hand held Ratio’s head into the crook of his neck, the other instinctively trying to pull away to cover his mouth with the back of his hand. The sensation made goosebumps form across his skin, the intensity giving him an aching, staggering reaction. “I’ve got you, gambler. It’s just me.” Ratio whispered, kissing Aventurine’s cheek before nestling into the crook of his shoulder once more.
He continued to press soft kisses, his tongue darting out to get a small taste that drove Aventurine wild. The blonde tried to compose himself, but every kiss sent his body into an overreaction. He couldn’t contain the whimpers, the soft desperate sounds. Tears rolled down his cheeks, and when Ratio actually started to suck on his sensitive skin he let out a sob. “ Ratio I … I can’t it… so– ah .” Aventurine cried with overwhelming pleasure. The doctor pulled away, looking down at Aventurine and observing.
There was a difference between how his body tensed now and earlier. This was a positive overwhelmed state, and Ratio could tell that Aventurine and his poor, touch-starved body didn’t know how to handle the soft and caring touches. The tears were likely a byproduct of this as well. Aventurine opened his eyes with tears pooling in the corners. He was so unbelievably vulnerable, and Ratio felt an ache in his heart that Aventurine trusted him this much to allow himself to be dissected emotionally before the doctor’s eyes. He leaned down and pressed a long kiss to the blonde’s forehead. “Are you doing okay?” Ratio asked quietly, gently dragging his fingers through soft blonde hair.
Aventurine nodded almost eagerly, trying to pull the doctor down to be closer. “Please… just a little bit more?” He asked, his voice cracking from the tightness in his throat. Ratio smiled, leaning down to press a small kiss to the Avgin’s lips before trailing back down to his throat.
After another hour of needy and high pitched sounds, Aventurine mentally decided he’d had enough and any more could potentially make him finish untouched-
But that was for another day. He’s exposed so much of himself, more than if he stripped naked in front of Ratio. He laid his head on Ratio’s chest, his hips in between Ratio’s legs as he lay directly on top of him. He was small enough to fit comfortably, and Ratio held him there tightly.
“Thank you for letting me help you, gambler.” Ratio whispered, Aventurine already dozing off. “I know this was for you, but I enjoyed every breathtaking second. If you need me… want me, again, just know I’m here for you.” He whispered, kissing the top of the blonde’s head.