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1. On Loss and Transmutation by xtinethepirate for elanorofcastile

   Fandoms: Critical Role (Web Series)  

   • Explicit
   • Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
   • F/M, M/M, Multi
   • Work in Progress

   26 Aug 2026

   Tags

   • Graphic Depictions Of Violence
   • Major Character Death
   • Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
   • Blumentrio - Relationship
   • Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III/Vex'ahlia
   • Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III/Vex'ahlia/Essek Thelyss
   • Essek Thelyss/Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III
   • The Mighty Nein (Critical Role)
   • Vox Machina (Critical Role)
   • Ludinus Da'leth
   • Verin Thelyss
   • Original Characters
   • In which the pining continues
   • or restarts
   • depending how you look at it
   • Essek Thelyss-centric
   • POV Essek Thelyss
   • Essek Thelyss Deserves Nice Things
   • Caleb Widogast is a Mess
   • Canon-Typical Violence
   • Temporary Character Death
   • the difficulty of making friends when you're a lonely drow
   • resurrection is complicated when you're an atheist
   • Background Mighty Nein (Critical Role)
   • Eventual Smut
   • eventual shadowgast
   • Campaign 2 canon divergence
   • The Wizards are Bad at Feelings and it Takes some Time
   • Eventual Happy Ending
   • Unrequited Love
   • it sure feels unrequited right now
   • Mutual Pining
   • Slow Burn
   • Political Intrigue
   • Assassination Attempt(s)
   • Exile
   • Oral Sex
   • Anal Sex
   • Rimming

   Summary

   Across different possibilities, the many ways Essek Thelyss did not fall in love with Caleb Widogast, and one way he did.

    
   After dying in Aeor, Essek finds himself (unexpectedly, as an atheist) with a second chance at life. The problem is that he has no idea what to do with it.

   While the Nein leave to pursue their own goals, Essek seeks to put the pieces of his life back together, and find where he fits when he is neither Shadowhand, nor traitor, nor member of the Nein. Unfortunately, one's old sins always have a habit of finding one out.

   Series

   • Part 2 of On Gravity and Time

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   81,633

   Chapters:

   18/50

   Comments:

   344

   Kudos:

   136

   Bookmarks:

   34

   Hits:

   4,341