Chapter Text
Alhaitham closed the front door after leaving a dazed Collei in Cyno’s arms. It had been a while since she had last gotten sick and though it was probably nothing deeper than a usual cold or flu, her health history prompted them to be extra careful, so they decided she should spend her sickness in her other parents' home, where Tighnari could take better care of her.
And still, even while knowing it was for the better, having to say goodbye to his sick daughter left a screaming empty hole in the Scribe’s heart. Yet when he turned to his lover –now husband– his thoughts shifted completely.
Kaveh was silently bawling behind him. Eyes puffy red already and hands crumbling the ends of his shirt, as if trying to keep his emotions at bay even when they were so obviously overflowing. Alhaitham could never get tired of seeing Kaveh be so vocal, loud, and open with his emotions. It could be annoying at times when they clashed, but he always thought it was beautiful how Kaveh, unlike him, didn’t struggle to feel his feelings and allowed them to show.
But that, of course, didn’t mean he liked to see his husband cry. In fact, it was one of the things he hated the most – though for once Kaveh wasn't crying for or because of him.
Gently, Alhaitham approached him and caressed Kaveh’s cheeks, gathering all the tears with his thumb.
“Hey, she will be fine. Collei is a strong girl, and she’s in good hands.” It felt like he was also trying to soothe his own nerves. “Are you that worried about our girl?”
“No… Yes… No…” Kaveh’s beautiful face contracted into an ugly sob. “It’s not that.”
He stepped back, yet Alhaitham felt compelled to follow him with his arms, holding Kaveh into a tight embrace. It was, after all, the first time his husband had seen the young girl sick after she healed from Eleazar and they had grown closer. And of course, the first time having to care for a sick child himself.
For a second, Kaveh seemed to calm down a bit, yet soon wiggled out of the hug; head looking down and his messy morning fringe covering his eyes.
“Kaveh…” This time Alhaitham respected the space, even if he was yearning to cup those cheeks reddened by emotions and fill his crying face with little kisses until Kaveh couldn't help but smile.
“I- I think I need some space… to think.” Resigned, Alhaitham sighed and stayed where he was.
“That's fair. But let’s go inside then, I’ll make you a cup of coffee while you think.” Kaveh nodded and followed him inside, yet instead of sitting on the sofa, he followed Alhaitham to the kitchen, gently grabbing the back of his shirt like a lifeline. He stayed like that the whole time it took to make the drink, eventually hiding his face in Alhaitham’s upper back. He was not crying anymore, but a silent Kaveh felt even more worrying than his usual loud ugly crying. It was strange. Odd. Unfamiliar. Wrong.
Kaveh always laid out his emotions for everyone to see. Talked about them to anyone who would listed. He was easy to read. Vocal. Clear. No matter how or when he always put an extra effort to convey his feelings to Alhaitham, even if that often made them fight. Seeing him sobbing quietly without explaining why was scary and heartbreaking.
The back of Alhaitham’s shirt was damp with tears (and likely some snot) when he finished the coffee. – Worried of holding the full cup with the architect almost stepping on his shoes, Alhaitham sent him to sit down and quickly followed him with a cup of coffee and a plate full of cookies.
There, he found Kaveh sitting in the furthest corner of the sofa, curled on himself and head hidden between his knees. Gently, Alhaitham prompted him to move forward so he could slide into the little space behind him. Snuggled together so that he could hold him by the waist, spooning, hands trailing through the trembling body, soft kisses being left on the uncovered neck – Alhaitham’s warm chest giving him a physical sense of support. Just like Kaveh had done for him so many times; being there, quiet and patient. Showering him with affection until he was ready to talk – prepared for whatever he had to say and whenever he felt ready for it.
After years of sharing pains and fights, it was almost muscle memory; his body knew what to do and where to touch in order to ease Kaveh’s emotions and bad or complicated thoughts.
It took a while. A long silence where Alhaitham’s mind went everywhere, analyzing every single action and word Kaveh had done and said since Collei woke them up to tell them she had vomited. Nothing he could think about aside from the parental worry Kaveh had sort of denied could justify such a strange reaction.
But regardless, his husband slowly untensed on his arms and his body started to more openly accept Alhaitham’s caresses and nuzzling.
“Babe…” Kaveh finally sighed fully relaxed, slouching in his arms. Not the best for his already ruined posture, but for once, Alhaitham kept his mouth shut. “Thank you.”
The architect broke free from the intimate hug to grab his coffee and a cookie, which he fed to Alhaitham.
“Sorry if I scared you. I needed to gather my thoughts first.”
Alhaitham kissed his cheek with lips full of crumbs and indulged in the sight of his husband closing his eyes and enjoying the moment. The Scribe hummed encouragingly and played with the mischievous strands of hair that Kaveh hadn't had time to fix before the other couple came to pick up Collei.
“You can tell me when you’re ready. I’ll be here.”
Time and time again through the years they had dated, Kaveh had been the most patient with him; waiting for days –sometimes over a week– before Alhaitham said a word. So as worried as he was, the Scribe could and would do the same.
The hairs slipped from his fingers when Kaveh shook his head, telling him he was ready. Alhaitham quickly went back to comb it again while giving his lover a gentle massage on his scalp as Kaveh started talking.
“It’s just… for a while, I’ve been feeling this… thing at the pit of my stomach. I thought it was me being scared of things moving forward. Collei, the wedding… Us… So I didn’t think much about it. But seeing Collei like that, I…” Even if words kept pouring out, Kaveh seemed at a loss, unable to find the ones he needed. Unsurprising given how much, and how strongly he always felt.
Trying to slow down his pace, Alhaitham caressed his partner’s elbow, prompting him to lift the cup to his lips and stop talking to take a sip of coffee.
Kaveh smiled gratefully and took yet another sip before leaving the empty cup on the table and resting on Alhaitham’s arms while nibbling at a cookie.
“You know, I never thought of myself as someone who would or could raise a child. I didn’t think I had it in me to be a parental figure to anyone... Well, you already know everything about my family situation, so it's not hard to imagine.” Kaveh’s grief had always been a thing they barely talked about. A loud secret everyone knew but no one spoke of to not reopen old wounds. “Archons, even when we started dating… I knew you had Collei and all it meant for our relationship, but never thought any responsibility would eventually fall on me.”
As much as it hurt to hear it, Alhaitham couldn’t blame his partner for thinking that. Back then it was unimaginable. Eleazar was incurable. They all had more than valid reasons to believe that Collei would never make it, so it made no sense to imagine a future where she would. Even Cyno, the most perseverant lost all hope plenty of times. But against all odds she survived. And Alhaitham, who felt blessed by that, never thought about how much that must have twisted Kaveh’s future plans, and only now he was regretting it. Bringing Collei home, taking care of her, and encouraging Kaveh and the girl to bond… he always thought it was the natural and obvious path. She was his daughter and Kaveh his life partner. Never had he thought Kaveh could want something else.
In his arms, Kaveh must have felt the massage slowing down, or the tenseness of Alhaitham’s body because he quickly turned to look at him in the eyes.
“But I don’t mind it! I love it, in fact. Collei is the sweetest girl ever and I’m proud and grateful to be given the chance to see her grow and be part of it all, but…” He sighed and allowed Alhaitham to pull him to rest on his chest again, yet the Scribe’s hands were slightly trembling where they held him close. It was always so hard to talk about Collei… “When she started being able to go out and even come here and we started taking care of her, I didn’t even think much of it. She's your daughter. Of course I’d love her and do my best for her. And even if it was hard, we managed, and we became a proper family and everything…”
Kaveh unawarely toyed with the wedding ring on Alhaitham’s finger, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.
“But when I saw her sick today, even if I know it’s nothing and that she will be fine… I think I finally felt what being a parent is like. And all she's been through hit me, I… I don’t think I really understood what you were going through with her Eleazar, but I think I understand it a little more now. I didn’t realize I grew to care this much for her in these months. That’s what I was feeling like all this time. Those strange and scary sensations I had even when good things were happening. Haitham, I just… All of a sudden I felt so blessed to have her that it was too much. It really dawned on me that I’m her Papa now. I didn’t want to scare you by crying, realizing everything was just so sudden, I... I just love her so much.”
Kaveh talked with so much love and care that Alhaitham’s heart couldn’t beat faster. It would even be fair if Kaveh complained about the thumps on his back, because it felt like his heart was going to come out.
He knew Kaveh loved Collei. He had seen them together and how the man unapologetically loved her. And he had seen Kaveh melt down in tears at night, in their bedroom, after Collei had called him “Papa” for the first time. But hearing him open up like that…
“Thank you,” he whispered against Kaveh’s neck; voice taken by emotion. “Thank you.” To see his partner that shaken due to his daughter –their daughter– was a sweet pain he would gladly take for the rest of his life.
“I don’t think I would mind having another, you know?” Before Alhaitham could say anything he was cut by Kaveh’s quick and apologetic blabbery. “I-I don’t mean right now, of course. Shit, we just got married. But it’s the first time in my life I don’t feel scared of thinking about myself as a father of sorts. It’s just… from now, the door is open on my side. If we ever want to, that is. I'm not trying to push anything, just letting you know that I changed my mind regarding that. Oh. My. God. I can’t believe I just admitted that I want to have kids."
Alhaitham felt warmth bloom from his chest, and before he registered his own thoughts, he had already pushed Kaveh onto the sofa. He looked perfect. The messy unbraided hair splayed over the couches, his face red and adorably puffy from all the crying, and his beautiful surprised expression… Alhaitham hovered over the blond and trapped him against the sofa with all his body weight, completely covering one body with the other – Alhaitham’s left ear pressed against his husband’s beating chest.
He was glad that, in the rush of taking care of Collei, he had left his noise-canceling headphones on the bedside table. Because Kaveh’s laughter sounded like music when he hugged him even closer and left a kiss on the top of his head. Each laugh echoing through his body directly onto Alhaitham’s ears, who couldn’t help but nuzzle towards that beautiful sound.
“Do you like the idea that much?” In a lack of words, Alhaitham nodded. Yes. Of course. A kid with Kaveh sounded perfect. They already had Collei, of course, but going through the process of raising a kid together with Kaveh sounded like a dream come true. A dream he always had been too afraid to have.
“Collei would love to have a sibling.” His voice sounded raspy and they both chuckled, but reality suddenly hit Alhaitham like a bucket of cold water. “But… we’re both... you know, it’s different from how it was with Cyno.”
And the honest laughter that exploded under him took Alhaitham fully by surprise.
“Archons, baby… Did you just figure that out?” His ears turned crimson red immediately at the tease. “I know. I was already taking it into account. But there are other means, you know?”
“You want us to adopt a child.” It wasn’t a question, but Kaveh nodded at his puzzled look.
“Not now, but… sometime, yes. If you want that too, of course. There would be a lot to think about beforehand, but I’m sure we could give them a good life… and I kinda want to. The more I think about it, the more right it sounds for us.” Kaveh didn’t even need an answer as he was drowned by a mountain of silent happy kisses and gentle headbumps.
Later that day, they were both laying in bed again, legs tangled between the sheets after catching with the sleep the early morning scare had stolen them – Kaveh’s softly humming at the caresses on his sides and lower back. They had a long conversation after another in between lunch, kisses, and naps, where they had both agreed that it was indeed too soon for them, as they had just married and both them and Collei were still adapting to the new lifestyle. They would wait at least until she had joined the Akademiya and gotten used to it. Pretty soon if her studies went well. But they would also need to do some renovations and maybe add new rooms to their house –or even a second floor if Kaveh got his way.
“We’ll have to coordinate it with Cyno and Nari,” Kaveh commented as he too caressed his partner’s chest, seeking the connection. “It will affect them too.”
Alhaitham hummed in agreement and smiled as he remembered something.
“I have the feeling they too will bring up a similar topic soon.”
The response was immediate. Excitement showing all through Kaveh’s body as he incorporated to look at his partner in the eyes.
“They’re having a baby!?” The smile on Kaveh’s face was endearing and he too couldn’t help but imagine what a baby from those two would be like. No one could be cuter than baby Collei –not with how precious she looked when she was roughly the size of his forearm (though no matter how big she grew she would never stop being his precious little daughter)-- but odds were, Cyno’s and Tighnari’s baby would be close.
“They were already thinking about it while Collei was still sick, but it was put on hold when Eleazar suddenly disappeared and we turned the Akademiya into a mess. All Cyno has told me is that now that she’s doing much better and spending time with us too, they started thinking about it again.”
In one swift movement, Kaveh sat on his lap and cupped Alhaitham’s cheeks before kissing him deeply.
“We’ll ask them tomorrow when we go visit Collei. I need to know EVERYTHING about it!”