Chapter Text
"Move it."
Graecie had only distantly registered the voice behind her, feeling something cold and metallic being pressed firmly against her back. She couldn't draw her eyes away from the scene just behind her in the blindingly white room. A body laid motionlessly on the floor, blood still dripping from the gaping wound in the neck. Through her blurry dissociated vision, she could only barely make it out as being the person once called Kyle. It stopped pulsing shortly as his heart gave up on pumping the blood throughout his body. Acho's cries could still be heard echoing throughout the room, the bright red blood on his hands seemed somehow brighter than the glowing walls that surrounded them. Krow was unbothered by it all.
She felt sick.
"I said MOVE IT." The voice shouted again from behind her, shoving the gun into her back and thrusting forward piercingly. She stumbled over her feet, gasping for air. She hadn't even realized she'd stopped breathing amongst the commotion of it all. Her tears clouded her vision, and she could barely see her own hand in front of her face. The only sensation she could focus on was her heart desperately beating in her chest, each thump feeling like it was going to dig through her entire body while it ran as fast as a bunny chased by a wolf.
Her legs shook drastically, clanging against each other, as she took one hesitant step. I just need to walk forward- I can do this! Just one foot in front of the other...
She walked slowly, and finally felt the metal retract from her back as the guard stepped away. She kept her eyes on the ground and covered her ears with her hands, wishing to hide from everything that was around her. She tugged on the pink piece of cloth she'd tied on her head so long ago, and she held it tight, curling her fingers around it until her palms ached from the force. Her nails dug into her skin, and left an imprint on her hand.
She heard loud, booming clapping the more that she walked. The noise was unbearable.
Graecie shut her eyes tight, so tight that her head started to pound, and just kept moving forward as she always had. The clapping got louder. No matter how hard she closed her eyes, bits of unwanted shining light still crept through her eyelids. She could hear a voice up ahead, amplified by a microphone. She was sure she'd heard the voice before, but couldn't remember where.
Graecie stepped out onto a large stage with a couple red couches laid out in front of her. The crowd erupted into cheers as soon as she emerged, with the other outsiders following close behind her. The announcer demanded for her and the others to sit down. The tone of voice made her jump with distasteful familiarity, and she promptly did as she was told. She sat down quietly, scrunching herself in to try and appear as small and unnoticeable as possible. Acho crowded beside her on the couch. They weren't that close to her, but any closeness felt both too much and not enough at the same time.
She rubbed her eyes- they felt wetter than they should be- and glanced around the room. The walls were huge, and looking up, the ceiling had to have been at least 40 feet above her head. The crowd was massive in front of her, the faces all blending together. Every seat must've been filled. Her heart stung when she noticed a couple of them wore the same outfits as the people she used to think of as her family. The outsiders- her FRIENDS- all looked terrified, just like she was.
...Acho was still covered in Kyle's blood.
He sobbed silently next to her. He couldn't wipe the tears from his eyes without getting the blood of his closest friend smeared on his face.
Sucking in a deep breath and holding it in, Graecie slowly slid one of her hands closer to him before hesitantly locking her hand with his and intertwining their fingers. The blood that laced his touch had already gone cold. She glanced a concerned look in his direction. She wasn't sure he even noticed. Acho seemed to stare vacantly at the floor, his once vibrant blue eyes now appearing dull and his face blank. That didn't stop the tears from dripping helplessly down his cheeks, the only thing that kept Kyle's blood running.
Turning her head to the right, Krow and Spidey sat together as a pair. Krow's hair was unnaturally parted to reveal its cold and distant eyes. It pierced through anything that it looked at, and Graecie was sure it was thinking about how it could escape right now if it needed to. No matter the cost. She shuddered slightly at the thought. Was it so much to just want to be safe for the briefest of moments?
Why did it feel so much safer in the coma?
Maybe it was easier to be asleep than tasked with facing the world around her.
Two people sat on the one couch, two on the other, so that's... Four people.
The group started off with eight. Bek cut her own fate in half before falling into the jaws of her own repose, Soup was the brightest light to the end who chose her friends over making it out, and Kyle, who-
She choked back a quiet sob at the thought.
But one person was missing.
Her heart skipped a beat in her chest, and she frantically started to look around again, hoping she just missed her the first time. She counted the four of them again. It was still just Spidey, Krow, herself, and Acho. In the distance, she could hear a flute being played by someone she didn't recognize. That was everyone? No- that- that couldn't be everyone.
...Magic is missing.
She-
Graecie could've SWORN she was right behind her. The gun being pressed threateningly against her spine, finally being retracted as she covered her ears and fumbled forward.
She didn't pay attention.
Her heart thumped in her chest, and she instinctively pulled her hand away from Acho, gripping the fabric on her shirt as she tried desperately to breathe. Her eyes darted across every face in the room in the hope that Magic was hiding amongst one of them. Every sensation flared up inside of her, every thought racing through her aching head, and the lingering taste of what once was her home etching her mouth. She shakily cupped her hands over her ears, curling her legs into her chest and closing her eyes tightly. The noise was drowned out, but still distantly present.
Go back.
Graecie had entirely zoned out for the rest of the event, if you could even call it that.
She didn't speak to anyone, and nobody spoke to her, either. It was like she was just a prop in a show, or a mannequin. An animal locked in a zoo, there to be watched and admired in comforting fear but not to be seen as another living being.
She sat on the couch, entirely tucked into herself like a cocoon, for far longer than any of the others. Acho was quick to leave. She wondered if he wanted a clean pair of clothing, or if he'd relish in the last lingering touch from Kyle, although vacant from his body and nothing more than a red bit of dried liquid drenching his shirt. Spidey left shortly after, as if she had a home to go back to or people that she could still love. Krow was the last to leave, and Graecie figured that was because it didn't have anywhere else to go. Anywhere was better than here, though, so maybe it went back to the hell it clawed itself out of.
Wherever they all go, she hoped they'd be okay.
She hoped-
...
A mysterious person came and tapped her a couple times lightly on the shoulder, the physical touch pulling her out of her own head if only for a blinding moment. She looked up, blinking away the tears that clouded her vision, wincing slightly as she made eye contact with the stranger. By now, the lights were dimmed, and the crowd had left.
"You're Graecie, right? My name is Eryn." The stranger introduced himself in a soft tone of voice. Graecie felt slightly safer, and she relaxed her limbs to her sides.
Graecie hesitated for a moment, studying his face for any expression of malice or ill intent. "How do you know my name?" She asked him, gripping the cushion she sat on tightly with her fists to try to keep her shaking nerves intact.
"I was in the maze too- I visited the clearing once, but it was while you were in your coma." Eryn spoke with a certain delicacy to his words. He sounded formal, though had a slight anxious edge. "Do you mind if I sit?"
Graecie glanced down at the cushion, scooching over even closer to the edge of the seat when she remembered the blood that seeped into the couch from when Acho had sat on it earlier. She shook her head at Eryn, "You might get dirty... There's-"
"Blood, I know." He cut her off before sitting down anyway. He sat sitting up on his calves, facing toward Graecie. "...Friend of yours?" He blankly asked, looking off into the now empty crowd. He didn't look angry, he just looked sad.
"Kyle... His name was Kyle..." Graecie whispered just barely loud enough to be heard. She didn't want him to be forgotten. None of them. "...He's not the only one we lost, either." Her voice wavered with every word she spoke, and she sounded like she could burst into tears at any moment.
Eryn looked back at her thoughtfully. "I was alone, for the most part. It was just me and this one kid..."
"You weren't in a clearing?"
"Nope, it was just me and Nico in a world built against us." Eryn forced a gentle smile as he looked at Graecie, though his smile wavered off his face as soon as he made eye contact with her. "He was really annoying at first, actually. I think he expected us to be able to escape the maze on our very first day up the elevator. But... His determination kept me going. No matter what he was doing, he did it with a fire in his heart."
Graecie listened intently to him as he reminisced about his friend.
She couldn't help but be reminded of-
"...Oeca-" She muttered under her breath. Her attention snapped back to Eryn.
"Huh?"
"Oeca, he's-" Graecie mumbled something inaudible under her breath. "He was a member of our clearing. Very loud. Most people didn't like him, but he was really close with Mohwee..."
Her voice shook with the painful memory of what happened in the maze.
She wondered if the impact of the memories hurt worse than the cut of a shimmering blade.
"Did something happen to him?"
Graecie flinched at the question, and she was sure that her expression showed the complicated thoughts mixing and conflicting in her head. Her chest felt tight.
Eryn shook his head. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked that."
"It's okay..." Graecie responded blankly, pushing a few misplaced strands of hair from out of her face. "Well, I guess it's the fact that he was just a kid. He was one of the youngest ones in our clearing. I think... Maybe Oeca and Nico would've been friends."
Eryn laughed under his breath. "I'd hope so!" He admitted. "Neither of us remembered much from our lives before, but he seemed like he was a lonely kid. He didn't understand why I stuck by him."
Graecie's chest hurt.
"We, um..." Graecie's voice was soft, and her heart was heavy. "We lost a lot of people, actually..."
Eryn just nodded at her solemnly.
"Squidney, Oeca, Mohwee... Apo, Guts, Rasbi..." She choked on her words. "...Owen... Ayngel... Today alone we lost Bek, Soup, and Kyle..."
And Magic.
But, hopefully, Magic wasn't lost in the same way that the others were.
She had to believe that.
She had to hope.
"...That's a lot of people..." Eryn muttered, staring at Graecie sympathetically.
Graecie looked away and discreetly pressed her palm to her face, wiping a single tear from her eye. "They were all good people, too. They were so-"
Eryn didn't let her finish that sentence. He wordlessly grabbed her tightly and pulled her into a hug, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. His hands dug into her shirt, letting the warmth of his still living body from the blood that still pumped through his veins mix with hers. His fingers ran gently over her matted hair, and he gave her a couple pats on her shoulder.
Graecie was grateful for the hug. She needed the contact. Hesitantly, as if she'd be in trouble for doing so, she raised her hands and wrapped them around Eryn, reciprocating. But she refused to let herself cry any more. They didn't die for this. I didn't survive for this.
...Oh god, why did I survive to begin with? I'm the only one who's root didn't choke and wither away.
Magic...
Go. Back.
It was hard to cope with the fact that all of that was just for some silly TV show.
It'd been a few months since Season 29 of the Outsiders ended. She still couldn't believe it. Back in normal life, back in society, but none of it was the same.
For starters, she was used to living in a quiet house by the sea. STARR was located in a giant city, and she had no way to get back. Not that she'd go back, anyway. She would rather be homeless than go live with her 'father' again who sold her into the maze to begin with. And besides, the house had always felt empty without Quill. It was hard to find a sense of security in the house after the loss of everyone who lived in it, besides the one who ruled it.
She stayed in an apartment that was about as bland as one could be. The walls were white, the ceiling was white, and a dull grey carpet ran through the entire apartment underneath her feet. STARR didn't give her any money, she was just cast off into the world with nothing. She forgot how big the outside world was after getting used to being confined to the space in the clearing. It was freeing, but at the same time, she longed for that same trapping feeling. The best way she could replicate that was to just not leave the apartment. So, she didn't.
Eryn ended up being the greatest help to her, actually. He didn't share much of his past before the maze, but he had money to keep them alive for a while. He was 'stable' enough to be able to work. As stable as he might pretend to be, Graecie could still hear him at night in his pitch-black room laying on the mattress on the floor. If he wasn't awake crying into his pillow, he'd be asleep muttering Nico's name in his dreams.
Graecie usually slept on the couch. It was made of cheap black leather. It was either that or one made of red cloth, but the second she laid eyes on it in the store, she choked on the air she breathed. So, they got the leather one instead. Besides that couch, a small TV, and a TV stand, that was the only furniture in the apartment that wasn't already there when they moved in.
The couch was comfortable enough, she supposed. There was nothing to complain about. She usually slept with a small cow plushie snuggled up to her chest, as if it could hear her heartbeat and confirm to her that there was still life in her tired, aching body. The cow was one of the only things she got to keep from the maze. STARR confiscated everything else.
It was a big source of comfort to her, but still made her heart throb to lay eyes on it. It was one Owen had made her after she'd awoken her coma. She never got to really talk to Owen again once she woke up, but it was laying on her bedside table when she finally opened her eyes. There was a small note attached to it, but she didn't get the time to read it before being dragged out by Soup. She guessed that the note burned, along with-
...
Owen was the only one who left anything at her bed for her.
Graecie stuffed the small cow into her bag right before fleeing into the Dark Maze, amongst a few things hastily gathered together that she thought she'd need for survival. Throughout the journey through the final mazes of intertwining corridors, she ended up desperately squeezing her eyes closed or just simply looking away every time she had to open her bag for anything, hoping not to catch even the slightest glimpse of the last remnant of the love she thought beat through Owen's chest.
Every night, when she closed her eyes, she was haunted by the faces of the people she lost, the hope they'd given her, the love they showed, the lives they lived. She couldn't wrap her head around why she survived, but they didn't. Her life had no more value than theirs, even though her life had a price tag attached. She just tightened her grip on the little cow plush and wished to forget.
Truthfully, she wished STARR would erase her memories again.
Lazily, she reached for the remote on the armrest of the couch. It was sitting held up by the cow plushie. She pinched the top of the remote firmly, trying not to even brush her hand against the soft fabric mended together by the hardened touch of a murderer. The remote nearly dropped to the floor in the effort, but she readjusted her grip on it just before it slid from between her fingers.
She pointed the remote towards the TV and clicked it on. She didn't have a TV growing up, so her favorite thing to do with it was to surf through all the channels that cable had to offer. It was nice to be able to experience a little bit of everything, even for the slight moments. The TV emitted a faint static that helped to drown out the thoughts that plagued Graecie's head. She flipped mindlessly from channel to channel before a familiar face caught her eye.
All the thoughts raced back into her head that she thought her brain would erupt.
The memories spun themselves blindingly through her mind as if she were drowning all over again. The air around her devoid of oxygen, the world around her darkened as if she'd closed her eyes despite them still being open, and she heard a loud scream coming from somewhere in the room.
She hadn't realized that the scream was her own.
What was on the TV screen before her was something that nothing could have prepared her for. Because, on that screen, was the missing face of the only Outsider who hadn't been 'found'. With the same blue-brown split hair and blue-green heterochromia, a gentle smile with the same carefree nature she grew accustomed to in her time in the maze. The only person who could bring peace to her crowded mind and who could make things feel okay even as the world burnt down around them.
It was Magic.
The TV continued to run. She'd landed herself on STARR's channel. Amongst the clips from Season 29 and the commercials of merchandise they'd themed off of everyone's favorite Outsiders laid a trailer for their next season of the show. Season 30 of Outsiders was in production, and Magic was a contestant. Again.
Her heart stung.
She wondered if this is what it felt like to be stabbed by the knife that threatened to take her last breath, but still never ended up even grazing her skin.
GO. BACK.
...
Graecie fell through the ice once again. The seering cold clawed at her, the current relentlessly dragging her down. She tried to take in a breath, to scream, to cry, but water filled her lungs. Her tears did nothing but add to the water about to claim her life. The world went dark as she closed her eyes wet with both tears and the icy water.
Before she felt Magic's grip pulling her up.
.
.
.
Graecie opened her eyes.
She was back in the elevator.
Graecie took in a deep breath of air.
She was back in the clearing.