Archive of Our Own ^beta

Hawke sighed and wiped his brow. The dark was ebbing, he had been at this all night. But he had finally finished his surprise, although he was surprised Anders hadn’t discovered it already. Hawke had known Anders wouldn’t leave the clinic, not for a few days at least. They had spent a day together, doing nothing productive and at the end of the night Anders’ mood suddenly plummeted.

“What’s wrong, love?” Hawke had asked.

“I just… I could have helped people today. I should have been helping people today, but instead I was selfish and stayed in with you,” Anders had answered.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you, if you didn’t want–” Hawke started.

“It’s not that! I did want to be here with you, today was lovely….” Anders said.

Hawke hadn’t let him say more than that. He didn’t want Anders dwelling on that any longer, and had distracted him until they fell asleep together.

But he still expected Anders would have gotten tired of the pounding at his clinic at some point. While he had been down there, Hawke had made sure to keep Anders fed, and not by Anders’ definition of “fed”, being one meal a day. Hawke had stopped in, making Anders sit three times a day to eat decent sized meals with him. He knew better than to just leave the food with him, he’d give it away and starve himself, especially since his self-ordered clinic duty was going to span several sleepless days to prove to himself he wasn’t selfish.

Hawke went back up to Hightown, cleaning himself up and dressing in his armor again. His plan was into phase two, and he headed down to the clinic as the sun peeked out over the horizon.

The lantern was still lit, and Hawke put it out. He stepped into the clinic, shutting both doors behind him. Anders had several patients waiting on him, and Hawke waited patiently, leaning against one of the doors with his arms crossed over his chest. Anders’ selflessness was charming at times, but when it reached this point, Hawke felt that he was trying to punish himself for something he had remembered, or that he felt he wasn’t selfless enough and had to prove it at harm to himself for others. Anders wasn’t moving around, just asking patients to move to the table in front of him. Hawke wondered if Anders’ lack of sleep was getting to him, making it difficult to move without his patients realizing just how wobbly he was, and so they didn’t see that he needed help he stood still. Maybe he thought they wouldn’t trust his healing ability if when he moved he threatened to fall.

One by one, the patients passed by Hawke, leaving through the door next to him. Finally, they had all left, and it was just him and Anders in the clinic. Anders turned his attention toward him.

“If you could just… oh!” Anders said. He rubbed at his eyes. “I’m sorry Hawke, I thought you were a patient.”

“I know. I need you though, can you come out with me to Sundermount?” Hawke asked.

“Of course, if you need me… I take it the lantern’s already out?” Anders asked. He had tried to move and staggered, and Hawke was at his side, supporting him. Anders forgot how fast Hawke was at times, and had jumped at the soft touch.

“I think you need to sleep first,” Hawke said.

“No… no, I’m fine,” he said and straightened up. He walked a straight line as if to prove it to Hawke. Hawke felt a small smirk on his face, and hid it when Anders turned back to him.

“If you’re sure, let’s go,” he said.

“Is no one else coming along?” Anders asked as they got close to the edge of Kirkwall.

“Nope, its just us,” Hawke said. He saw the concern on Anders’ face, and added: “It’ll be fine, I promise.”
Anders didn’t object past that, and Hawke found himself trying to suppress a smile. This was supposed to be a serious mission, and Anders couldn’t know the truth, not while they were still in Kirkwall at least.

“What’s our business here today?” Anders asked as they approached Sundermount’s base.

"You’ll see,” Hawke said. Anders frowned.

“Hawke, I’d like to know what I’m getting myself into with you, Maker knows the kind of trouble you tend to get into,” Anders said.

“This isn’t anything dangerous, I promise,” Hawke insisted.

“‘This will be easy’, 'nothing bad will happen’, 'what’s the worst that could happen?’” Anders snipped. “How many times have phrases like that come out of your mouth? And its almost always when the worst things happen.”

Hawke chuckled, “You may have a point, but I can promise this isn’t dangerous,” he said. Anders sighed, but stopped arguing. Hawke couldn’t help but smirk now, and now it wouldn’t give him away.

They were partway up the path to Sundermount when Hawke took Anders’ hand and led him off the path. Anders didn’t complain, but he also didn’t know why Hawke didn’t just lead off the path. He would have followed. Hawke led him down a bit, and through some bushes. The path obscured behind them, he pulled Anders into a kiss.

Anders’ face was red when he pulled away, and Anders pulled to go back to the path. Hawke gave his hand a squeeze as if to tell him no.

“Hawke, this isn’t the time, we have–” Anders said.

“Nothing to do,” Hawke said quietly.

“But you said–” Anders tried to say.

“Just to get you out of the clinic,” Hawke answered. Anders sighed and his head drooped.

“You could have just asked,” he said.

“How long were you in the clinic for?” he asked.

“…Two days?” Anders said after a few moments.

“Four,” Hawke corrected. “You weren’t going to just come.”

“So why take me to Sundermount?” Anders asked.

Hawke picked up Anders and sat down, placing Anders on his lap.

“Because you needed a break, and its nice here,” he said softly. Anders leaned against Hawke and yawned. The sun warmed his face, and Hawke’s arms around him were familiar and comfortable. Soon he had dozed off, before he could realize it and stop himself. Hawke smiled at his love and he laid them both down, pulled Anders close to him and napped alongside him.

Anders woke up, feeling Hawke’s arm around him and went to apologize for falling asleep when he heard Hawke’s familiar snore. He needed to return to his clinic, however, and wiggled out of Hawke’s grasp. He headed back up to the path, unaware that Hawke had woken up behind him and watched him leave.

Hawke had known something like this would happen, but it still hurt to know Anders couldn’t let himself take a break. He headed to Anders’s clinic, knowing his surprise would finally be noticed.

Anders was cooing at the cats that had taken to Hawke’s handiwork when he got there. Anders had gotten the attention of one of them and started scratching at her head. He had built shelves along the outside of the clinic at varying heights, something for the cats to climb and perch on.

“I hoped they’d take to it,” Hawke said. Anders turned his head to look at him, hand still on the cat’s head and a smile on his face.

“You did this?” he asked.

“I thought you would have noticed much sooner. I had to hammer at your clinic for a day and you didn’t once come out to question what was happening,” Hawke admitted.

“Is this why I saw three cats leaving my bedroom?” Anders asked.

“There’s a little hole, big enough for a cat to squeeze into, that I built into your bedroom,” Hawke said.

“What prompted this, love?” Anders asked. The smile had faded. “I don’t mind gifts, but… why spend all this effort?”

Hawke stepped forward to wrap his arms around Anders.

“Because I know that I can’t always come down here to check on you, and that there will be times when you can’t be by my side. So when I’m not here, you’ll have your second favorite thing to keep you company,” Hawke answered. Anders’ smile returned, a smile Hawke loved, and Anders pulled him into a kiss.