Work Text:
A series of robberies occurred in the area, the police are currently investigating the community. And we have the exclusive live coverage before anyone else, let's ask the residents here.
Hello sir! Would you like saying your name before the camera?
"Oh yes, sure. My name is Tartaglia, me and my husband live at uh that house, the one down the street."
You have a really beautiful house sir.
"I know."
Ahem, so would you like to share on your thoughts? Your house was next to one of the houses that got broken into.
"Yes, that was really scary. I didn't see the ones who did it, at least not properly but there were a lot of them."
Wait you were awake at that time? The police think it happened around 2-3am.
"Yes, me and my husband were having sex and that's when I heard those weird sounds."
Oh
"At first I thought why is my husband moaning like multiple voices and glass breaking, then I saw that some guys were trying to get inside our neighbour's house!"
T-thats.. I guess it worked out somewhat?
"If only! I wanted to shout, and even tell my husband but I only kept moaning? He was fucking me too good."
um sir we're on live..
"So i took the alarm clock on the table and threw at them, I'm sure it hit one of them haha. We were having window sex."
ha-ha..? O-okay thank you for uh.. thank you, come on let's go-
"If it wasn't for my husband fucking me too good i definitely would've called the cops sooner, but he was too pent up-"
"HONEY WHAT ARE YOU SAYING IN LIVE TV!?? STOP!"
...
Uh this is certainly weird haha.. wait why am I getting a call from my boss??