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The realm crystal practically glistened within Zane’s hand, the amount of possibilities that were now possible was incomprehensible, which is all the more why it was imperative that they kept it from Morro. All that was left to do now was rescue Lloyd. 

It had felt like eons since the ninja had experienced a true win and not one that was forcibly taken from them. Kai could feel himself almost relax at the sight of the realm crystal, but it seemed like their victory wouldn’t last forever. 

“How does it work?” He asked, his eyes darting between his three brothers. 

Before any of them could answer, the ninja were treated with a haunting reminder. 

“How it works is you’ll hand over the crystal, or say goodbye to your friend.” Morro’s sickening voice echoed throughout the cavern, sending a shiver up Kai’s back. 

His auburn eyes stared deeper and deeper into his brother’s. Lloyd was practically slumped against Morro’s ghostly form, from his position it looked like he could barely keep his eyes open or his legs steady. Kai could feel a fire rise within him, not one of elemental power, but one of anger. 

He could feel his fists dig deeper and deeper into his palms and he was sure he’d run straight for Lloyd and once he was sure he was safe, he’d pulverize Morro for everything he did to this poor kid. 

If not for Zane’s gentle hand placed on his shoulder, Kai was sure he’d jump at the opportunity, but his brother was right; they couldn’t act recklessly. It surely would only continue to work Morro up and therefore affect Lloyd in the worst way possible. 

“I’m sorry.” Lloyd rasped, his voice weak and shaky, which caused Kai’s chest to twist and turn. The more he stared into Lloyd’s muted green, almost red eyes, the more he knew they had to do something, they had to get Lloyd out of here, they had too, he had to right his wrongs and he was never going to go back on his promises ever again. 

“So what will it be?” Morro sneered, a sickening grin appearing across his face. It was one that reminded him, just exactly the kind of person he was, or how he valued another’s life so little. 

Zane, Cole, and Jay began quietly comersing with each other regarding their newfound predicament, but if Kai was being honest, he wasn’t paying any attention to the words that left their mouths. There was something about seeing Lloyd, barely able to stand, barely able to stay conscious that made him not care about the realm crystal, about Morro; the only thing that mattered to him in that moment was Lloyd. 

So, when Jay asked him if he had any ideas on what to do, he nodded, taking the realm crystal from Zane into his. He stared at it, or more accurately, his reflection. He shouldn’t have promised Lloyd that he’d take care of him, it seemed like he could barely even do that, like he had failed Lloyd. Failed to save him that awful night in the museum, failed to save him that same night at the tea shop, failed to save him on the snowing mountain, he failed to rescue Lloyd all those times, he wasn’t going to fail him again. 

He looked to his brothers, each of them sharing words that could not be discernible from the outside, but their subtle nods gave Kai the reassurance he needed. 

Slowly but surely, his hands began tightening around the realm crystal, as his fingers and palms began to steadily heat the crystal, turning it a light shade of orange. Even if they couldn’t have the realm crystal, he’d ensure that Morro would have to work a little harder to obtain it. 

“Time's up!” Morro shouted, his annoyance practically filled the entire room. “You leave me no choice!” 

“Wait! Kai interrupted, his voice filled with desperation. “We’ll give you the realm crystal.” And with a grunt and all his might he threw the crystal towards Morro. 

He never thought Morro could look more haunting or cruel, but there he stood, his ghostly glow looming overhead the young, injured ninja. His eyes grew wider and wider the closer the realm crystal got to him, his desire grew more and more evident. 

It was then that he and Morro made eye contact with each other and his smile turned slightly downwards, as his hand that had so tightly gripped the shoulder of Lloyd’s gi let him go, with a shove in order for him to grab the crystal. 

Kai wanted to race after the ghost, to allow for the anger burning inside of him to win, but he couldn’t, he couldn’t allow for his hate to get the better of him, he couldn’t just leave Lloyd by himself, and by the looks of it, he was barely treading water. 

So when Kai’s feet took off after the young ninja, he couldn’t help but follow. He raced after him jumping from rock to rock, clinging to the sidelines, as his arms reached out as much as they could without himself falling in the process. 

“I can’t get to him; I can’t swim!” The fire ninja grimaced. 

“You can’t swim? I can’t touch the water. I’m a ghost, remember? You at least had a reflection, what happens to me?” Cole stressed, the earth around them shook slightly, just as his brother’s ghostly hands did as well. 

It was then Kai realized it was Cole who was following him and it was then he too realized the gravity of the situation. He couldn’t swim, Cole couldn’t get wet, and Lloyd– Lloyd was growing weaker and weaker by the second. He could feel it in the ways the wind bit at the back of his neck. 

His thoughts began to overwhelm him; everything he should do, everything he shouldn’t do. He couldn’t make Cole get any closer to the water, but he couldn’t leave Lloyd in the water, not when there was a waterfall a couple feet ahead of them. So, he shook his head and did the most rational thing he could think of at that moment. 

He jumped. 

He jumped into the frigid waters, one arm bracing underneath Lloyd’s with the other swished back and forth violently in an attempt to keep the two of them afloat. But no matter how much his feet kicked forwards and backwards the two still continued to sink. 

“I’m sorry buddy. I–” He gasped, as he took on more and more sea water. “I can’t–” He breathed, cringey at the salt water that tickled the back of his throat. 

“Kai!” He heard from the nearby distance, his eyes frantically searching for someone for anything. “Grab my hand!” The voice yelled; Cole’s voice. 

From his vantage point in the water he could see Cole standing at the edge of one of the rocks that littered the side of the cavern’s river. He reached his arm out as far as he could, so he hoped and prayed Cole could save the two of them from a watery grave. 

Kai struggled against the water, but his determination out weighed his lack of swimming skills. So, his feet kicked harder and he reached out further and further until the reassuring grasp of Cole’s, albeit cold, hand grasped his and pulled them to safety. 

Kai practically fell into the cold stone beneath him. His coughs were ragged and shaking, as salt water pushed itself to be released from his lungs. 

“Thanks– Cole– I.” He pushed out between his breaths, but Cole only patted him on the shoulder, squeezing it tightly. 

It was a wordless exchange, but one Kai instantly knew what he meant. “I would do anything for one of my brothers.” 

The silence soon began to haunt Kai after his coughing relaxed somewhat. 

Lloyd. 

He jumped to action quickly, turning Lloyd onto his back. His heart sank, he was barely breathing. 

Cole was standing above the two of them, his hands were shaking violently and there was a certain glint in his eyes, one that voiced his own horrors and fear. 

“He’s not– he’s not–” Kai voiced, his terror laced between his words. 

“Kai! You need to help get the water out of his lungs!” Zane yelled, who was quickly followed by Jay. 

“But I–” Kai struggled, he knew what could happen if he pressed too hard, but if he didn’t or pressed too lightly– He shook his head, he knew what he had to do and would apologize to his younger brother later. 

Carefully Kai placed a fist on top of the other, locked his elbows, and pushed, and pushed, and pushed. He could feel his heart rate beating faster and faster as sweat beads dripped from his forehead. He couldn’t stop; he wouldn’t stop, not until– 

Lloyd quickly began coughing, to which Kai helped him lean over onto his side. As his younger brother continued to cough the salt water out from his lungs, Kai rubbed gentle circles across his back, and once he was sure he was done, he enveloped his brother into a large hug. 

Across Kai’s own back he could feel Lloyd’s hands pull him closer, but he couldn’t help the way his chest ached at his brother’s newfound weakness. 

“I missed you.” Lloyd spoke in between his shivers as he curled deeper into Kai’s chest.

“I– I missed you too buddy.” Kai replied, not willing to comment on the ways his eyes clouded over or the small water droplets that fell from them. 

Kai relished in the touch between him and Lloyd, his embrace on the younger tightening slightly out of fear that something could happen to him, that something would pull the two brothers further and further away from each other. And by the grace of the First Spinjitzu Master, he would do everything in his power to keep them all together. 

He was so cold, so much smaller than he remembered him, he never thought he could ever be so little– what happened to him? What did Morro do to him? Why?–

“We need to get him aboard the Bounty.” Zane broke the silence, he was kneeling down next to Kai, overlooking the ninja in his arms. “We can help him more there.” 

Kai just nodded, but he didn’t want to move, he couldn’t, he couldn’t disturb his younger brother, not when he laid so peacefully, probably for the first time in weeks, against him. But it seemed like Lloyd wasn’t asleep like he thought when he blinked his eyes open, albeit half open to stare at his older brothers. 

“Did– did– did we get it?” He asked. Kai could feel himself cringe at the way his usually light, full of life voice was hoarse, much deeper, and barely above a whisper. 

Kai immediately perked his head up making eye contact with the other ninja, as he too silently asked the same question. He could feel a lump form in his throat as he was met with solemn head shakes and grim expressions. 

The fire ninja sighed, as he and the others searched their brains for just exactly how they should tell him, but it seemed he figured it out all too quickly. 

Lloyd’s eyes almost instantly clouded over, as his breath grew shakier as if that was even possible. 

“I– I– I’m sorry.” He croaked. “If I had been stro–” 

“Hey, hey.” Kai interrupted. “That’s not important right now, what matters is that we have you.” 

“Hot head’s right.” Jay added.  Even if Kai wanted to grimace at the nickname he couldn’t, so he just smiled and nodded; after all, he could always mess with him later. 

“Indeed Lloyd, you are what we care about and I’m sure Sensei Wu and Misako would agree.” Zane added, his voice was soft and gentle. 

Cole only nodded, granted, he was smiling but there was something odd about the earth ninja’s expression. 

The young ninja nodded, but there was still that look on his face, so blatant and obvious almost like he didn’t try hiding it like before. He didn’t believe them or he still felt like it was his fault and Kai was sure that no matter what he said, the young leader would never believe them. But that conversation would have to be pushed to another time, hopefully he’d believe him then. 

“Come on, let’s get you to the Bounty. Can you stand, bud?” Kai asked.

Lloyd hesitated for a moment, but nodded, as he began to get up. No one commented on how it seemed like he was relying more on his brothers rather than his own strength. No one could bear to comment on the way his legs shook with each step or the way he bit his lip to keep himself from wincing aloud. No one commented on how long they stood in the sun beams, or the way Lloyd could barely stand anymore; instead they just stood around him, helping to hold him up. 

Lloyd slowly opened his eyes, as he couldn’t help but wince at the sheer amount of pain he was in. It wasn’t unusual by any means, he was used to the sharp pains throughout his body, especially since Mo–. He couldn’t even finish the sentence; he was still haunted; still controlled; still possessed– 

“Lloyd?” Zane asked, pulling him from his thoughts. “Are you okay? Your breathing picked up an abnormal amount. Am I hurting you?” 

Lloyd internally yelled at himself. How could he be so selfish to make Zane feel like it was his fault? His brother over the past few weeks only suffered at his own hands, not the other way around. Zane took care of him, fought for him, risked his life for him, and Lloyd only hurt him; he hurt his brother, how could he call himself the leader? When he was the one who– 

“Lloyd?” Zane asked, he had paused tending to his wounds and was now worriedly staring at Lloyd, while he lay against the propped up pillow. 

He mentally cursed himself again, there he goes making them worry about him again. He was fine , nothing was wrong. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry, just tired.” Lloyd smiled, his brain immediately going on autopilot.

Zane’s worried expression turned into one of confusion, but eventually he nodded. 

“That makes sense, you probably–” The nindroid paused before continuing. “You’ve had a busy day. Is there anything I can do for you?” Zane asked. 

Lloyd just shook his head, even if the action made him want to cry out in pain. “No thanks, Zane. I’m okay.” 

He wasn’t okay. He was in so much pain, he felt like he wasn’t safe, like if he was left alone he'd never be free again, that– he – would be lurking around the corner only to terrify his remaining life out of him. But he couldn’t ask Zane to stay with him, he wasn’t a child, he was the ‘Legendary Green Ninja’ for First Master’s sake, he could be alone, he could be in the dark. 

So, Lloyd said nothing as Zane turned back to tending to his wounds. He couldn’t burden his friends more than he already did and it’s not like he was suffering per say, he was just– he was just– tired; that’s it, he’s tired. 

But he couldn’t fall asleep, no matter how much he tried to let sleep take him, he couldn’t, he couldn’t be defenseless, he had to keep a watchful eye over his plans– 

Right. 

He was with his family, safely aboard the bounty, but he didn’t feel safe. In this moment he decided that he'd only get rest once he was gone for sure. After all, he had a job to do and it was one he wasn’t going to fail.

… 

Lloyd ran faster than he had ever ran before. This had to work, this was their last chance, he couldn’t fail his team, not after everything he did. He could catch him, he could get ahold of the realm crystal, he just had too. He couldn’t disappoint everyone again, so he’d run faster than he ever had to catch up to the ghost, he’s endure every slash that came his way, he’d push past his vertigo, his nausea, the heat that radiated from his head and chest; he’d push past all of it just for things to be okay, for him to be home again. 

But he never made things easy. 

The way he ran, the way he fought against him, the way his elemental powers aggravated the cuts along his body, even the ones Zane had bandaged the day before. But he had to keep going, he couldn’t just give up, he couldn’t let everyone down again, he really couldn’t live with himself if they had all failed because he got a little banged up. 

So, Lloyd continued to chase after him. His feet making contact with the unfamiliar ground the more and more they raced against it. Their abilities were shot out at each other, each of them stumbling and struggling against the other, but he would always recover quicker, he was always more agile, he was stronger, he was better. Maybe he should have been the green ninja instead, he wasn’t weak like himself and that’s what his friends needed; what Ninjago needed. 

Nevertheless, he chased after him, falling between worlds and in between them. He could give up on himself all he wanted too, but his family? That was a different story and he couldn’t continue to dishonor his father any more than he has already. 

It was then that he saw it within the Sword of Sanctuary. He saw the Preeminent’s defeat, but he wasn’t there. He wasn’t a part of this chapter within the story. Destiny somehow knew he’d mess it up, so of course he shouldn’t be there. 

So, he stopped running, he stopped chasing after him and instead it stood and waited. He didn’t know how long he’d be there, or if he’d ever come home again, but as long as they were safe, as long as the people were safe, he wouldn’t do anything to change it. 

Besides, now he wouldn’t be there to screw it up, like he continued to do throughout these past few weeks. He only hoped he’d have a chance to travel to the other side, with his friends after Nya successfully took down the Preeminent, but he didn’t have much hope in destiny or himself as of late. 

He longed to be in his own bed, to be free from the responsibilities that weighed so heavily on his shoulders. He wanted to sit on the couch with everyone and laugh over who was beating who in which game, or laugh at stupid movies, or train with everyone till he was so sore he thought one of his limbs would fall off. 

Lloyd could hope and hope, but with each passing minute, the more terrified that he’d never leave this new world was, the more terrified that he’d never see Kai again, or Nya, or Jay, or Zane, or Cole, or Sensei Wu, or his mom. He had to see them again, he just had too. 

During this time, he didn’t register how exhausted he was or the blood that dripped off of practically every limb that was inflicted onto him with the Sword of Sanctuary; None of that was important. What only mattered now was him getting home to a world without the Preeminent and without– 

He keeled over, blood spewing with every cough onto the unrecognizable rocky ground. He had to keep going, he couldn’t, he had to– 

Just then a portal opened beneath him, pulling him from this world into another, which he hoped was his own. 

He was greeted by the familiar orange and yellow sunset, as it shined brightly into his eyes. He could feel the way his soul was somehow reconfigured together at the sight of the ferry boat, at the sight of the other ninja; at the sight of his family. 

It was like his entire wishes, his dreams, his prayers were answered and there was nothing else he needed to ask for, nothing else he couldn’t ask for except to go home. He could feel his eyes brimming with tears, he could feel the way his heart thudded in his chest, or the way his head screamed and cried out at him to rest. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t rest not until he was in their arms, not until he was safe. 

He pushed and pushed his feet to move faster, for his lungs to hold more air, for his heart to beat faster just so he wouldn’t be alone anymore, it didn’t matter to him that there was a probable chance he would collapse, what mattered to him was that he was home. Lloyd could feel his feet give out from under him after the intense strain and lack of rest his body endured, as he fell into the nearest person’s arms. His sister's red and blue gi was soft to the touch as she held him close to her person, her eyes too filling with tears. 

“Oh Lloyd!” She cried as he held him close. “We thought we lost you.” 

“I’m so proud of you.” He muttered, his voice only loud enough for her to hear. 

“Oh Lloyd.” She smiled, bringing one of her hands to the side of his cheek. 

He winced at the touch before leaning into it, her hand was warm against his cold skin and small figure. But he wasn’t able to relax into her touch for long, as she quickly moved the back of her hand to his forehead, then his other cheek. 

“Lloyd, you’re burning up.” She observed, as her head looked to the other ninja who were no doubt standing around them. 

“No, it– it’s cold” he countered, leaning further against his sister. 

“I’m afraid Nya is correct. His body temperature is reading at 105.6 degrees fahrenheit.” Zane agreed, as he spoke to the others not to Lloyd, himself. 

But it’s not like he could argue, everything felt fuzzy, his mind, his body. He didn’t care if he had a fever, it would pass eventually; he just wanted to sit here and hide from the watchful eyes of the world, he wanted to hide from destiny. 

The other ninja were discussing something, probably him, but before he did anything, he had to make sure. 

“Is he?” He whispered into Nya. 

And by “he”, she instantly knew who Lloyd was talking about. “Yeah, he’s gone. You don’t have to worry about him anymore, he can’t hurt you.” She smiled, squeezing him in an uninjured spot on his shoulder gently. 

Lloyd could feel himself lean deeper against Nya, as she only held him tighter to her. He could rest, after five weeks he could finally rest, he was safe from his cold grip, safe from his possession, safe from him . For the first time in a while, Lloyd could feel calm, he could feel safe. So, when unconsciousness called to him, he couldn’t help but accept its call. 

… 

The first thing Lloyd could hear was the sound of steady beeps that seemed to echo throughout the room, the second thing he felt was the excruciating pain he was under, it was like he was someone’s punching bag or– 

Right. 

He was. 

His eyelids felt so heavy and as much as he wanted to push them open and hide underneath his blankets everything hurt so much that he could barely even open them. And when he did, he was first taken aback by how blurry his vision was or the blurry baby giraffe directly in front of him. Of course the first thing he saw was a baby giraffe who was running in some kind of meadow. 

Oh no, his heart sank. He was in his least favorite place imaginable. He hated that giraffe more than any other animal, there was just something about a giraffe wearing a bow that made them more unsettling than they already are. 

So, it was natural that he wanted to look at something else, so he slowly rolled his head to his left side. It was there that he could see a green ghostly figure to his side, sitting on one of the chairs. He could feel a chill run up and down his spine. He was supposed to be free. That’s what Nya had said, she wouldn’t lie to him. He shouldn’t have rested, he should have stayed awake he was fine, he was okay, he could still defend himself, he could still fight back, maybe there was something he could do to keep him from possessing him, maybe he could– 

Lloyd’s thoughts continued to race onwards, the young ninja not even realizing his heartbeat was practically beating out of his chest or the way the machine’s beeping skyrocketed in the same rapid succession. 

He had to get out of here. He had to run. He had to escape before he woke up, before he could do something to him before– 

“Hey, buddy.” The ghostly figure replied. “You okay?” 

He couldn’t even process the question, or the words that came from him, but all he knew was that he had to get away. But when he attempted to push himself up on the bed, so he could run he couldn’t, he couldn’t run, he could barely even move from his spot, he was a sitting duck, he was doomed, he was going to be alone again, he was– 

“It’s okay, Lloyd. Let me go get help!” The ghost replied, as it then quickly raced out of the room. 

Even with him gone, Lloyd couldn’t find it in himself to calm down. He was terrified, he was horrified, he was haunted. Haunted by the cold chill that still filled the room, haunted by the way he stared down at him, haunted by the fear that he’d never be home again. 

It was then when another person burst through the room, Lloyd couldn’t recognize who it was at first by the warm feeling against his shoulders served as a kind reminder. 

“Lloyd, Lloyd. You need to calm down, bud.” They were encouraging, his voice was kind and familiar. It wasn’t that of a ghost’s. “This isn’t good for you, I need you to try and relax. Here, follow my breathing.” 

He placed Lloyd’s left hand against his own chest. He could feel his breaths were calm and reserved and he did his best to follow them. And he did, after some time, it was here where he shakily opened his eyes, where he was greeted by Kai who was in a red hoodie, black jeans, and bags underneath his eyes. 

Had he caused them? Lloyd hoped he hadn’t, but he knew his hopes were in vain. 

“There. That’s better isn’t it?” Kai chuckled. “Did you have a nightmare? Are you okay?” 

Accosted by the memory, Lloyd just shook his head. “Mo– Mo–” He stuttered, his voice coarse and sounded like he desperately needed some water. 

“He’s gone buddy, remember. He’s not here, he’s in the Departed Realm.” Kai reassured, as he sat down in the closest chair beside Lloyd’s bed. 

“But– But– I saw–” He questioned. He couldn’t be gone, because he saw a ghost at the side of his bed and if he was gone, then– that’s when it hit Lloyd. He did see a ghost, but it wasn’t him, it was Cole.

“Yeah?” Kai coerced. 

But Lloyd just shook his head. “Mus’ have been a nigh’mare.” He lied. 

“Okay, well that’s okay. Here, let’s call in a nurse and they’ll help explain what happened and so they know you’re awake.” Kai changed the subject, maybe it was to get his mind off his supposed nightmare, or off his fear, which one? Lloyd wasn’t really sure. 

He hated himself. How could he possibly think Cole was M– him? The two of them were nothing alike. Cole had been taking care and looking out for him ever since Sensei Wu forcibly brought him to the Monastery. He made sure that Lloyd had a great birthday, he would always help him talk through his nightmares, he would always help him with his technique when it came to sparring. Cole probably got turned because of him too, so how could he think he was–? Cole may have been turned into a ghost, but Lloyd’s the one who should feel like the monster.

Lloyd barely paid any attention to the nurse, but a few words somehow managed to catch his attention. “Week long– multiple wounds– dangerously high– multiple sprained– long recovery– and lucky.” Those were the only words he caught and they seemed like the most important ones.

Once she had left his mind could only think of his brother and how cruel he was to him, how can he say he loved him when his brother runs out like that? So, he had to make it right, he had to apologize, even if the thought of this room being cold like that made his fingers dig into his palms. 

He looked up to Kai, quickly catching the older ninja’s attention. “Yeah, bud?” 

“Cole?” He croaked. 

“He went to get the others who are back on the ship.” Kai smiled, gently running his hair through Lloyd which surprisingly didn’t hurt. Someone must have brushed it for him while he was asleep; another thing he felt like he didn’t deserve after everything. 

“Oh.” He forced. They had communicators, he didn’t need to go back to the ship. He could have stayed, but it seemed like Lloyd was right, he really was the worst younger brother in the entire realm, maybe even all of them. 

“But he’ll be back! Let’s get you something to eat, okay? You must be starving.” Kai distracted, pulling out the hospital’s menu. 

To be honest, Lloyd was hungry, but he couldn’t eat. Just the thought of food made him want to vomit and he wasn’t even sure he could anymore. Over the past five weeks with him, he was only allowed small bits of bread and other meals every two or three days. Besides, he preferred Zane’s cooking to any hospital’s. 

“No’ hungry.” He muttered, pressing his head deeper into the pillow. 

“But, Lloyd, you really should eat. You’ll help get your strength back up.” Kai continued to encourage, but it was no use, since the younger’s mind was made up. 

“Please, I– I’m just tired.” Lloyd pleaded, he really didn’t want anything. He’d eat later. 

Kai sighed. After you rest for a bit, okay?” 

Lloyd just nodded, falling back into his pillow and to sleep. 

… 

Over the next week and half, Lloyd did eat a bit, but he could never stomach large meals like he used to before everything happened and he had an annoying tube in his nose and how was he supposed to eat with it there? 

He was frequently visited by Kai, Nya, Jay, Zane, Master Wu, and his mom. Cole would only come if everyone else was, but he would stick to the back of the room and was usually the first to leave. Lloyd hated himself for making Cole feel like that; no one ever should. 

Kai would usually sit with him and show Lloyd his chirps, ones that he thought were funny or the two would sit together and he’d serve as Lloyd’s personal heating pad. It was nice. 

Nya would talk about training and how much she learned, or whose butt she kicked, or her latest engineering project. 

Jay would bring him copies of Fritz Donnegan whether that be movies or comics, Lloyd didn’t really have a preference. That and bags, and bags of candy which Lloyd did appreciate. 

Zane would bring him home cooked meals, which Lloyd always chose over whatever the menu had offered. He also provided updates on everyone’s condition, which he was also thankful for. 

Sensei Wu would read to him and make him drink tea from another tea shop in the city. 

His mom would usually accompany Master Wu or she’d bring him a fresh new set of clothes so he wasn’t stuck in his– well– embarrassing get up. 

But Cole? Cole never came alone and Lloyd found himself missing him more and more with each passing day. He shouldn’t have been so cruel and unkind. He should have been a better leader, a better friend, a better brother. So his only reminder of his brother was the file on his phone of Cole gently playing his acoustic guitar. 

… 

The Bounty was different. He wasn’t really sure what it was, but there was something about it that was unfamiliar. It wasn’t that his room was changed, or that everything was more accommodating to him and his needs, or that the new training dummies, new equipment, no, none of that sounded right, but something did eat away at him. 

It wasn't as prevalent when he was alone, but when everyone was together? That was a whole other story. The Bount’s warm lights served as one of these reminders, he was so used to the dark base back in Stixx or the hospital’s bright fluorescent lights. Nothing was this warm and inviting. 

He wasn’t used to the way the other ninja talked so loudly with each other. Instead of the soft whispers or yelling he was used too. 

He wasn’t used to how much food was always on his plate or the amount of meals Zane provided. One would think that the tube being taken out of his nose proved he was okay. 

He wasn’t used to his soft bed or any bed or soft surface at all. For so long he had only known sleep deprivation or the cold metal of a cage. 

He wasn’t used to his injuries being treated.

He wasn’t used to others asking if he was okay. 

He wasn’t used to being cared for like this. 

He wasn’t used to a lot it seemed. 

He barely remembered anything from before, he barely remembered anything with the other ninja. It all seemed like so long ago. He felt like an entirely different person.

But even though he was living much more comfortable than he has been in weeks, he still couldn’t sleep. At least that continued over from these past few weeks. Maybe feeling a bit sleep deprived would be his normalcy, maybe that could be the one thing he recognized.

He tossed and turned in his bed, his body refusing to warm up. He’d only been home for a few days and he’s slept for maybe ten hours? He had been offered healing tea or chamomile to help with his condition, but he just refused saying he slept and felt just fine. 

He was lying. 

He didn’t feel fine, though he did feel slightly better, but he still felt off. Like something was wrong and he couldn’t quite figure it out. That and his dreams were plagued with him and he was someone Lloyd wanted to avoid forever. 

He rolled over to his side, his gaze catching the clock that sat on his night stand. 2:36am, he read, lulling his head back onto his pillow. His head ached out at him, while his throat was incredibly dry and pained. Maybe he needed some water, yeah, that would help. 

Carefully and allowing himself to wince, since no one was there, he got up out of bed before heading towards the kitchen. 

As the cold water washed down the back of his throat, he could feel his agitated body feel somewhat relieved, except for the uncomfortable feeling that’s been residing in his chest ever since he got home. 

He leaned over slightly to set the glass into the sink, but just as he did, he felt an incredibly sharp pain in his head, which pushed him to the floor, the glass shattering against the tile adjacent to him. 

He couldn’t help but cry out in pain. Why was he feeling this? Why was he always in so much pain? Why couldn’t he have a break? He could cry if he wasn’t so dehydrated. He was so tired. He was so done with feeling like this. He was so tired of feeling afraid, like he was some sort of fragile kid who needed protection. 

“Oh, Lloyd.” A voice interrupted the silence, he remembered this voice; one that he hadn’t heard in a while. “Let me go get Jay, he’s awake.” He said quickly, almost too fast for Lloyd to understand. 

No, he wanted him to say. He wanted to be with Cole. He’s barely seen him within this past week. He missed him. He needed to apologize. He just wanted to right his wrongs. 

“Hey, hey, bud.” Jay spoke, a comforting hand drawing circles across his back. “Oh jeez, you’re burning up dude. We should take you back to the–” 

“No.” Lloyd interrupted. “I don’t want to be with the giraffes.” He muttered. 

Jay chuckled slightly. “Okay, no more giraffes. How’s our stereotypical med bay?” He offered. 

Lloyd nodded, as he leaned against the lightning ninja who helped him not only to the med bay, but also onto one of the beds. 

“Okay, I’m going to get Zane and–” Jay started, but was interrupted when Lloyd squeezed his arm tightly. A plea for him to stay with him, he didn’t want to be alone anymore. 

“Okay, I’ll stay. You gotta let me go call him though. I promise I’ll stay in the room.” Jay offered, smiling brighter after Lloyd nodded and he let go of his brother’s arm. 

Jay turned to one of the computers, presumably typing some kind of message to Zane, before he quickly turned around to help Lloyd feel a bit better. 

“Headache?” He asked, Lloyd nodded. “Alright let’s get some ibuprofen in ya.” 

He was thankful Jay never pushed him to talk and could read him very well, but it seemed maybe he was just easy to read. 

Jay quickly gave him some medicine and provided him with a cold compress, which surprisingly helped him feel a bit better. He was incredibly grateful for Jay, but he couldn’t stop feeling like he was a large disappointment. 

“What’s with that look?” Jay asked, pulling one of the chairs to Lloyd’s side. 

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, looking down as he fiddled with his hands. 

“For what?” 

“For you having to take care of me.” Lloyd replied blatantly. 

Jay tilted his head. “Why would you apologize for that?”

“Cause I’m suppos’ to be the leader.” 

“Even if you’re the leader, you’re still our brother and we will always take care of you.” He paused, measuring the younger’s expression. “You’re allowed to be taken care of, you know that right?” Jay smiled. 

“I– I know– I just–” Lloyd paused. 

“Feel like you have to be the strongest?” Jay clarified. 

Lloyd nodded. 

“Strong people need help too Lloyd, it doesn’t mean you’re any less strong, it just means you need some help.” 

Lloyd smiled leaning into Jay’s shoulder. “I’ll try.” 

Jay just pulled him closer. “And we’ll always be here to remind you.” 

It was then a tired nindroid entered the med bay. “Lloyd, we were specifically instructed that if you were to get another fever, we should take you back–” 

“Couldn’t we try to take care of him here? Give him healing tea, jasmine, and every kind under the sun?” Jay interfered. 

“I suppose. You did not seem happy there and it would be beneficial if you were to heal in a comfortable place.” He thought aloud. 

But he wasn’t comfortable, he hadn’t been comfortable in a while. Oh, how he wished he could be spared this feeling. Why was he missing his time with–? He should be happy he’s home but– 

“Exactly!” Jay added. “And we'll all be closer, so we can spend more time with him!” 

Zane sighed. “Alright, very well. Now, Lloyd, let's get your fever under control.” 

… 

Lloyd’s new bedroom was considered the med bay, most days he didn’t leave it, especially as he was recovering from his fever, which was quicker than the last time. On the days where he was allowed to leave, it was only to the couch or the dining room table. But it was better than being stuck in his room or the med bay by himself. 

True to his word and Jay’s word, Lloyd was drinking lots of healing tea and a specially made tea to help him sleep and he thought he’d never say it, but he didn’t mind the taste of either. He really was growing up. 

He was also made more meals and after two weeks of rest he was allowed to do light exercise from a specific plan Zane and Kai designed for him. Lloyd felt incredibly grateful for his brothers and they’re kindness to him even if he felt like a burden they were all quick to remind him he could never be. 

But he still felt off. Whether it was he was afraid he’d be taken away from his family again or he’d be forced to fight them again or leave them or be on his own– He sighed, doing his best to focus on the moment but he couldn’t; he was too scared. 

A gentle knock echoed throughout his makeshift room. 

“Yes?” He asked, suddenly pulled from his thoughts. 

Zane opened the door. “Would you like to eat in here or at the dining room today?”

“Hmm, maybe in here? Today’s exercises kinda took a lot out of me.” Lloyd answered, hoping Zane wouldn’t notice his anxious expressions. 

“Alright, if you need us to modify them to make them easier we can.” Zane offered. 

But Lloyd just shook his head. “It’s a good sore, it’s nice.” He smiled. 

Zane smiled. “Alright, I can eat with you if you’d like.” 

Lloyd loved eating with Zane, but he missed Cole more and more with each passing day. 

“Could you ask Cole if he’d eat with me?” Lloyd asked. 

He hoped he’d say yes and that he’d be able to apologize for what he said that day he woke up in the hospital. 

“I’ll ask him.” Zane simply stated, turning back out of the room into the hallway. 

Lloyd slumped against his pillows, his arm resting above his eyes. He had physically gotten a lot better, but sometimes he still felt the same way he did three weeks ago after he was rescued. Like some scared kid who could shut down at the mere thought of him. He wished he was able to relax and maybe one day he would, but at this moment? He never thought he’d ever be able to breathe properly again. 

“You wanted to eat with me?” Cole asked, peeking through the cracked door frame. 

“Yeah, if that's okay?” Lloyd clarified. He didn’t want to put him in an unwanted position. 

“Course.” He shrugged. Carefully, setting down the two bowls of soup onto the nearby table. 

Lloyd didn’t know how to bring it up, he was never good at bringing up how he feels or anything of the sorts, that is until his emotions got too much for him to handle. So, the two just sat in silence for an indiscernible amount of time. As if both ninja were unsure of how to start any kind of conversation. 

“Do you not like it?” The Earth Ninja broke the silence, his eyes glancing down to the Lloyd’s barely eaten bowl. 

“Oh no! It’s really good!” Lloyd defended, but he soon sighed afterwards. “Mo– he would only feed me every other day or so if I was lucky and when he did it was barely anything at a time, only enough to keep my body from atrophying. So I guess I’m really not used to eating a lot of food at a time anymore. Like I just feel sick all the time.” Lloyd paused, as he searched for the right words to say. “I don’t think I’ll ever eat the same way again or normally or be my normal self again.”

Silence. The two brothers melted into it, both of them unsure of what to say. Lloyd had just shared a deep thought from the back of his mind that he never thought he’d share and he almost regretted it until Cole broke the silence again. 

“Healing isn't linear, that or recovering. That’s what Sensei Wu always tells me. So, it’s the same for you and you’ll always have us to lean on. No one’s expecting you to automatically be okay either.”

Lloyd sighed, looking down at his own hands. Cole was right, he wasn’t supposed to be okay right now and no one expected him to be, except for himself.

Cole paused, for a moment looking down at his transparent hands. “I'm scared I’ll never be myself again, or that I’ll never know what a warm fire feels like, the taste of food, any of what makes someone human . Who knows, maybe I’ll never be human again.” 

“But you are. You are human, not because you have been, but because of who you are at your core; that's what makes you human. You may be a ghost right now, but that doesn’t take away from the face that you’re still the strongest, kindest, most gentle person I know. I know I wouldn’t have made it as far if it weren’t for you.” Lloyd added. 

Cole just smiled, as he looked down at his ghostly hands. “Yeah, I, I guess you’re right. I don’t know if I’ll feel like that for a while.” 

“It’s as you said, it’s not linear.” He smiled. 

Cole’s smile quickly morphed into a frown. “I’m sorry, Lloyd. I should have been there for you, ever since that day I’ve just felt like I’ve made you feel worse and so I thought if I gave you space then it’d help, but I was wrong–” 

“No Cole.” Lloyd interjected. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted like that, I just saw him, not you for a moment and I’m sorry I tensed for so long, I just– I just–” He could feel his tears behind his eyes, like a waterfall mere moments away from falling. 

“Hey, hey.” Cole interrupted. “It’s okay, you’ve been through a lot. I know you’re not afraid of me.” 

“I’m sorry, you must have felt so lonely and I’m sorry about you turning into a ghost. Kai mentioned it was for me and I’m sorry I only made you feel worse.” Lloyd whimpered. 

“Can I hug you?” Cole hesitantly asked. 

Lloyd nodded quickly, wanting nothing more than his strong arms around him. 

Cole pulled him into a hug, he didn’t feel as cold as he did when he was with him . In fact, he felt comforted and cared for, but most importantly, he felt the heat radiate off of him. If Cole didn’t know it yet, he’d sure he’d find out soon, he was/is and forever will be human. 

Cole pulled away from him slightly, placing his hands on his shoulders. “I would do anything for you Lloyd; I mean that. I would go to the ends of the earth for you and it wasn’t your fault; it was his. Okay?” Cole asked, staring deep into his green eyes. 

“Yeah. You guys are the best.” Lloyd whispered curling into Cole’s chest, who placed a comforting hand around him. 

“You’re worth more than you know, Lloyd.” Cole whispered into his hair. 

“You too, Cole.” He whispered back. 

For the first time in months, Lloyd could feel himself fully relaxed and the feeling of home sent a warm feeling throughout his entire person. 

He really was home.