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"Viktor?"
The soft light from the fire dances across his lover's face. Viktor's golden irises glow like fading embers, and Jayce inches closer, drawn to the warmth in their depths.
"Yes, my love?" Viktor trails his fingertips along Jayce's cheek, the ghost of a touch. Jayce chases after it, leans in closer.
"I'm afraid," Jayce admits in a whisper, not willing to break the peace that's settled over them just yet.
"What are you afraid of?" Viktor asks, all careful curiosity and genuine concern.
Jayce sighs and rolls onto his back, catching Viktor's hand in his as he goes and holding it firmly against his chest. It doesn't make any logical sense, he knows that. The fear isn't rational. It isn't rooted in anything real. He just doesn't want to go to sleep.
They passed a wonderful day together. It must be a weekend, since they weren't in the lab, but Jayce is having trouble placing the day of the week. Sunday perhaps. He isn't sure why he can't recall something so simple.
In the morning, he and Viktor had walked down to the market in Piltover's main square. They'd ambled hand in hand and perused the wares displayed in all the different booths.
Viktor had run his hands over each of the fine fabrics in the silk merchant's stall and insisted Jayce do the same. He'd bought a dark green tie since Viktor claimed that it brought out his 'pretty eyes', and then he'd doubled back later when Viktor was occupied elsewhere to buy a second one since, after all, their eyes were practically the same shade.
In the afternoon they'd visited a greenhouse and purchased fruit, which they ate in the shade of a tree outside, trading sticky kisses on sugar coated lips. Jayce had laid with his head in Viktor's lap and looked up at the summer sky through the mottled leaves and thought to himself that he couldn't remember ever being happier. A sentiment which Jayce hadn't had enough self-restraint to keep to himself, but when he'd spoken it aloud, Viktor's cheeks had turned a shade of pink that matched his strawberry tinted lips and said, "Me either."
They'd gone home as the sun was setting, Viktor with his free hand in the crook of Jayce's arm and Jayce carrying their bags, gently swaying into each other as they walked up the street to their apartment.
In the small kitchen, they'd attempted to cook dinner together, but Viktor, as he so often did, got impatient with Jayce's interference and banished him to sit on the other side of the counter while he cooked. Jayce had picked up his notebook and looked distractedly over his latest notes for a few minutes before giving up and sketching Viktor in the margin instead.
He'd looked so beautiful like that, standing at the stove, bathed in the fading sunlight filtering through the window behind the sink. Viktor's hair fell in his face and Jayce hadn't been able to stop himself from leaving his seat to come around the counter and tuck it carefully behind his ear.
Viktor's mutter of 'what are you doing?' had been muffled by Jayce's lips and turned to a pleased sigh as Jayce wrapped his arms around Viktor's waist and gently pressed him back against the counter. One minute Jayce was nudging his leg between Viktor's and dragging his lips along the side of Viktor's neck, and the next the fire alarm was going off.
Jayce had atoned for his reckless behaviour by going down the street to their favourite takeout spot and returning with a meal that was not smouldering in the bottom of their best pot.
They'd sat on the couch to eat, shoulder to shoulder and hip to hip, with a blanket over their laps and a bottle of wine they didn't bother getting glasses for passed between them.
As the evening grew late, Jayce's mind had started to wander from the conversation at hand - a discussion of Viktor's latest theory on wild runes - and latched onto each point of contact they shared and the warmth radiating off of Viktor's body. He isn’t exactly sure how long it took for them to end up on the floor, their clothes and Viktor's brace discarded on the ground beside them and their limbs tangled together.
It had been so warm by the fire. Jayce hated being cold, but Viktor had an affinity for chasing it away. He'd wrap Jayce in his arms and hold him close, whisper sweet words against his ear, press impassioned kisses to his skin, and chase even the memory of a chill far away.
Jayce could lose himself inside Viktor's body. He could cease to exist without the slightest hesitation. Jayce knows they've been this way a thousand times. He knows it because of the practiced, easy way their bodies fit together, from the way he knows how to move just so to make Viktor scream his name, or how to kiss him until his breath hitches and each one of his carefully chosen words, designed to drive Jayce utterly insane, fade to nothing more than whimpers.
It doesn't matter how often they're together like this though, caught in heat and passion and wrapped up, inextricably bound to each other, it always feels unfathomable to Jayce. Like something too good to be true. Tonight it had been like that.
Tonight he'd buried his face in Viktor's neck and fought back tears because some obsessive, incessant part of his mind insisted that it wasn't really happening.
When Jayce had come, his back arched and his eyes squeezed shut, he hadn't been able to keep the tears at bay any longer and Viktor had wiped them away with the pad of his thumb, kissed his cheeks dry and brought certainty back to his fragilely beating heart with whispered reassurances. "You're here," and “I've got you," and "You're alright, that's it, let go."
Now, even in the calm of the afterglow, even caught and secure in Viktor’s hands, held in his gaze, captured by the undeniability of his love, apprehension grows in Jayce's mind. Some unknowable uneasiness takes root at the base of his spine and crawls up his vertebrae, until his hair stands on end.
"I don't know," Jayce finally confesses, looking up at the dappled light moving against the ceiling and squeezing Viktor's hand tighter. "I guess I'm afraid to fall asleep."
"Hm." Viktor makes a small, sympathetic noise and his face comes into view as he props himself up to lean on Jayce's chest. "Have you been having nightmares again?"
Jayce furrows his brow as he tries to recall. "I'm not sure," he replies honestly. "I don't think so, it's just ... something about falling asleep feels ..." he trails off and shrugs. He takes a deep breath and releases a small huff of frustration.
Before he speaks again, Jayce locks eyes with Viktor. "I don't want this to end."
Viktor's expression softens and a nearly imperceptible smile plays on his lips. "What do you mean, the weekend? We run the lab, Jayce, we can just take another day off if you want," Viktor reminds him.
Jayce sighs. "I know."
"Not good enough?" Viktor inquires, quirking an eyebrow.
"I don't know." Jayce shrugs again. "I just don't want this day to end."
It was so perfect, it would be a shame to lose it, Jayce doesn't add aloud.
"It doesn't have to," Viktor says, leaning in to brush a gentle kiss to Jayce's lips. "We can stay up as long as you'd like but why don't we relocate to our bed? The floor is getting a little, eh, uncomfortable." Viktor inclines his head with a tiny wince.
"Oh! Oh shit, are you okay?" Jayce asks in alarm, scrambling to sit up. "Your back! Your leg! You should have said something earlier. Are you sore?"
"Always so quick to play my hero," Viktor laughs and lays a reassuring hand on Jayce's arm. "I'm fine. Everything's alright."
Despite Viktor's reassurance, Jayce insists on scooping him up in his arms and carrying him up the hall to their bedroom. Because after all, what's the point of doing all that work in the forge if he can't carry around his partner whenever he wants? A question which, when posed, Viktor doesn't seem able to come up with a valid counter argument to.
Once they're ready for bed, Jayce reluctantly turns off the light and crawls beneath the covers, still not ready to let the night come to a close. Immediately, Viktor is touching him, assuaging his fears and banishing his misgivings. He wraps his arms around Jayce's chest and curls along his back, tucking his face against Jayce's shoulder and placing delicate kisses there.
"See?" Viktor murmurs into his skin. "Not so bad to be in bed."
"No," Jayce agrees, leaning back into the embrace. "Not so bad."
"You're alright, my love," Viktor reassures him. "If you can't sleep, we'll stay up. If you have a nightmare I'll wake you. You don't have to be alone, Jayce."
The darkness gives Jayce the bravery he wouldn't have to ask his next question. It feels so silly, so juvenile to even say it aloud and Jayce’s voice is very small when he whispers, "You promise?"
"I promise," Viktor confirms.
"I'm sorry." Jayce tries for a dismissive laugh but it gets caught in his throat. "I don't know what's wrong with me tonight. It's stupid."
"It isn't," Viktor swiftly disagrees. "It's quite alright. We all have trouble sleeping sometimes." He lifts his hands to rest on Jayce's chest, pressing one palm firmly over his heart. "Try to relax."
Dutifully, Jayce takes a deep breath and a little of the tension leaves his body.
"Would you like me to talk to you?" Viktor asks. Sometimes, when Jayce can't sleep, Viktor's voice is the only thing that can lull him effortlessly into unconsciousness.
"Yeah, okay," Jayce agrees, snuggling back closer into Viktor's arms. "Can you tell me a story?"
"Of course."
Viktor always tells the best stories, they always take Jayce back to his childhood and the storybooks he read when he was a boy. There's something deeply comforting about the way Viktor speaks a narrative into being.
In mere moments, Jayce feels his eyelids beginning to droop and his breathing starts to even out, slow and deep. Just as he closes his eyes though, they fly open again and Jayce jerks away, startled by the sudden sensation of falling.
"What's wrong?" Viktor breaks off mid sentence, looking up in concern.
"I -" Jayce stutters, voice thick with sleep already. "I was falling," he says, feeling dazed.
"Shhhh," Viktor soothes, pulling him back down. "You were just falling asleep."
Jayce lets himself be manoeuvred back down and lays his head down on his pillow again. His heart is beating too fast.
"I'm sorry," he mumbles sleepily.
"Shh," Viktor repeats. "Come here." He adjusts their positions and tilts Jayce's face up until he can press a slow, lingering kiss to his lips. Jayce automatically closes his eyes and immediately relaxes again, melting back into the bed.
"Better?" Viktor asks when he pulls away. Jayce nods, gazing up at him with what he has no doubt is a hopelessly starry-eyed expression. He isn't sure why, but he's starting to feel cold again.
"Yeah," he breathes. He lifts one hand to cup the side of Viktor's face. Viktor's skin is always so warm. "Always better with you."
The last thing Jayce remembers seeing before he closes his eyes, is Viktor smiling down at him.
Jayce wakes with a start, a strangled yelp ripping from his throat as sharp pain shoots up his leg.
"No, no, no, no," Jayce pleads, voice breaking as he looks frantically around the cavern floor.
The fire has gone out and the feeble embers do little to combat the all consuming darkness closing in around him.
Jayce shivers as he curls in on himself, closing his eyes and trying to picture Viktor's face, his smile, his touch that had been so real only seconds ago, anything. It's all fading.
"You promised," Jayce sobs into the unyielding empty space around him. "You promised I wouldn't have to be alone." The accusation only travels far enough to be echoed back at him from the steep rock walls. A mockery of his own pathetic voice that rings in his ears until the cold and the pain pulls him under once more.
This time his partner isn't waiting behind his eyelids.