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Unwanted. That was the proper word for the weather.
The sky, which usually held a vibrant blue color, was almost as pale as a paper, if only a form of “dirtier” white. Not that it mattered, as light grey clouds covered everything. The clouds looked heavy, like they had too much on their shoulders. Perhaps that is why they decided to let it snow.
Millions of snowflakes fell from the clouds, further and further down until they landed on a surface that could bear them. Which happened to be an arm made of titanium.
Zane stood in the monastery’s courtyard, transfixed by the weather. That might not have been the right words. Paralyzed fit better. The nindroid’s shallow breathing became heavier.
Why on earth did it have to snow now?
Only a minute prior, Zane had all but rushed out of the monastery. The team had just been eating dinner when the pressure had started building up. Nothing severe had happened, it never did. Kai had only mentioned a completely normal topic, which was how he and Jay had handled an attempted robbery at a bank earlier. But the conversation had shifted into bickering when fire and lightening started to argue about how the other solved the problem. That was stupid enough, the mission ended up going entirely well and there was no reason to hold on to it.
The others by the table didn’t really know what to do. Nya mildly attempted to stop them, but with failure. Zane decided to just let the two figure it out themselves until they let the tension die out. The second he was about to take a sip of his water, Kai yelled out, startling the white ninja. In a state of shock, the water in his glass got frozen, solid to the core. Zane’s eyes widened as he stared at the now chunk of ice he held. Oh no. A glance to the side revealed that Lloyd hd turned his attention from Kai and Jay’s argument to Zane’s glass as well, but he looked worried, almost scared.
The flashbacks instantly flowed into Zane’s head, his mind. Memories from the 60 years he spent in that hell of a realm. The other times he had frozen something over like that. Only that back then, the things encased in ice were people. It became too much.
He quickly rose from the table and walked out from the dining room. He met Cole’s eyes on the way out the door. His boyfriend looked worried as well. When Zane made it to the hallway he started to run, desperate to get away and get a break. Once he had made it outside and taken a deep breath of fresh air, he opened his eyes to the one thing he didn’t need. Snow.
The first snow of the year. Zane had believed it wouldn’t come for another week.
He stood in the middle of the courtyard, unable to move or do anything at all. What could he do? The nindroid ached to go inside again, away from this, but he didn’t want to face the other ninja after the incident. Especially Lloyd.
He then heard the doors to the monastery open once again. Zane didn’t move to face the newcomer, already preparing to get scolded or yelled at.
«Hey.» The word was said with a voice Zane knew very well. He now turned towards the other.
«Cole.»
The master of earth walked over to him, his hands in his pockets due to the low temperature. «Are you okay?»
Zane laughed bitterly. The question was so stupid he almost went mad. It had only been a month since their return, only two weeks since he had started talking again. «No. I am afraid I am not.»
«Thought so.» Cole stood beside him now, looking at him with gentle eyes. «Just wanted to say, Kai and Jay stopped. Wanna come inside again?»
Zane shook his head.
«Do you want to be alone here? For me to leave?»
The nindroid didn’t reply at first, then shook his head again. He wanted Cole to stay. He didn’t want to risk being alone in his head.
«Ok.»
For a minute or two the two ninja just stood there in the snowfall. Neither spoke.
The silence was comfortable at first. Then, the pressure built inside of Zane. Thoughts about everything that could go wrong. Everything that had gone wrong. With a glance up to the sky, Zane’s stomach churned. What if he was responsible for this snow?
Not able to keep it in anymore, Zane let out choked sob. Cole got startled, and immediately looked over at his boyfriend. The white ninja had started to silently cry. «Z-Zane? What’s wrong!»
«I cannot escape it Cole,» Zane whispered. «It’s in everything, from the way Lloyd looks at me, to my elemental power, and even in the weather. It haunts me. He haunts me.»
Oh. Cole took his hands, placing them between his own. Warming them up. «I know. But Vex got what he deserved, you will never have to see him again!»
«I’m not talking about Vex.»
And, oh.
Cole mentally smacked himself in the head. Fuck, of course Zane wasn’t talking about Vex! No matter how kind and selfless he was, Zane had always tended to hate himself more than anyone when something went wrong.
Gently reaching out for Zane’s chin, Cole tilted it so they faced each other. He still held on to the other’s hands.«I get it. Really Zane, I do. But you need to know, your guilt about the whole situation is misplaced. It wasn’t your fault. You were manipulated and used, you are not to blame!»
«But I am! It was I who did everything! Getting advice is not nearly as horrible as actually proceeding to do the actions!» Zane said, his voice heavy with hopelessness. «And it hasn’t left me. I cannot control my powers anymore Cole. You saw what just happened in there. For all I know, this weather is my fault as well! Maybe…» The next words weren’t more than whispered. «Maybe he is still in me. T-The Emperor. Maybe we aren’t separate people at all.»
Cole furrowed his brows, seemingly thinking. He suddenly lit up and stretched out his arm. A second later, two snowflakes landed on his black hoodie. With a smile, he put his arm in front of his boyfriend. «Look.»
«What?»
«Look at the snowflakes! What do you see?»
Zane looked confused. «I see… two snowflakes?»
Cole playfully rolled his eyes. «C’mon frosty, you’re supposed to be the smart one!» He said teasingly. More serious, he continued. «What do you see in them?»
«Well,» Zane said. «Every snowflake is different from the other. So in the one to the left I see a star shaped flake with a cobweb-like design, and in the one to the right I see a more round one with a design that somewhat reminds me of branches on a pinetree.»
Cole snapped his fingers. «Exactly! So you’re saying that they look alike on first glance, but when you look closer, they’re completely different!»
«Yes.»
«Then that applies to you and the Ice Emperor as well.»
Zane blinked, caught off guard. «Pardon?»
Cole shook off the two snowflakes, and took Zane’s hands in his own again. «Listen. I’ve known you for nearly eight years. I’ve been your boyfriend for three of them. I may have never seen the Emperor in action, but from what I’ve heard, he is nothing, I repeat nothing like you. You are the kindest soul in all of Ninjago, possibly in all of the realms. You are passionate, caring, gentle, and you care about those around you. That is why I love you. I love you Zane, and that will not change. Because no matter what that stupid mind of yours tells you, you are still Zane!»
The courtyard went silent. Zane had completely frozen during Cole’s speech, not knowing what to say. After some time, he mumbled; «I don’t deserve you.»
«You deserve everything and more.»
«I forgot you for 60 years.»
«You remember now. And I will make sure neither of us forget ever again.»
Zane bit the inside of his cheek. «I can’t control my powers anymore. I might hurt you, you should stay away from me.»
«No,» Cole shook his head. «Never am I ever going to leave you. I will help you gain control again. You haven’t lost it as much as you think.»
«I unintentionally froze my water.»
«You got startled.»
«And this weather?» Zane exclaimed, now with a hint of desperation. «It wasn’t supposed to come yet. What if I caused it!?»
«What if you didn’t? Sometimes the weather forecast is wrong.»
«But what if-»
«No!» Cole interrupted him. «Whatever you’re going to say, I will prove you wrong. «Whatever ‘what-if’ you have, I will have a ‘what-if-not’. So don’t torture yourself like this anymore! I can’t bear to see you in pain. It pains me too!»
Zane felt guilt sweep over him. «I- I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you!»
Cole cupped his cheek. «Now you’re blaming yourself again. Don’t do that. Please.»
The white ninja blinked, then swallowed. «I’ll try.»
«Can I hug you?» Cole asked with a small smile.
Zane looked down and fidgeted with his hands. «I don’t think-»
«You’re not going to hurt me.»
In the end, Zane accepted the hug. And if the snowfall lessened as he did, well, none of them noticed.