Chapter Text
Aaron dumped his bag onto the counter, fishing out his hand sanitizer and rubbing it over his hands without thinking much about it. He could still feel dried blood in the wrinkles of his knuckles, even if there wasn’t any visible.
“Why are you here Andrew?” He said into the darkness of his apartment.
“Hey, look at you Mr. Observant.” Andrew’s head popped over the back of the couch where he had presumably been laying out of Aaron’s line of sight.
“Neil said you’d be too tired to notice.”
“You drive a Maserati. I live in a 750 square foot apartment and it’s the biggest on my floor. You don’t exactly blend in.” Aaron continued unpacking his bag.
“Merry Christmas.” Andrew smiled too wide, it made Aaron’s heart sink.
“Are you high?”
“Whaaaaat?” Andrew drew out the word, elongating it. He knew the medicated Andrew act freaked Aaron out.
He adjusted his smile to approximate one that could reasonably be made by a normal human being. “You’re coming with us to Christmas in Columbia. Neil got the gang back together.”
“I’m not driving 11 hours with Josten.”
Andrew shot him a warning look.
“Andrew I just worked 16 hours, which you know already seeing as you knew when I’d be out of the house.”
“Good thing I didn’t bring Neil then.”
“What?” Aaron’s brain felt slow and mushy. “You drove here alone?”
“Yes, and I slept for,” He looked at his phone. “11 hours while you were at work. You can sleep in the car, I packed a bag of your stuff.” Andrew tossed a duffle bag at Aaron.
Somewhere in Delaware Aaron passed out.
When they pulled into the driveway of their old house in Columbia, there was only one space left for Andrew’s car. Andrew shoved Aaron, who was already awake, and sprang out of the car before Aaron could swing back.
An only slightly nauseating wave of nostalgia filled Aaron as his sneakers hit a driveway that hadn’t changed at all since he was in his twenties. Walking up to the door itself felt worse.
Kevin was in the foyer when Andrew barreled into the house, pushing past him presumably to find Neil.
Kevin was every bit as tall and handsome as he’d ever been. His hair was longer, and he regarded Aaron with the barest hint of a smile. “You look-”
“Old?” He’d been hearing it a lot lately. His hair had darkened slightly since he’d been at Palmetto, which only made the white hairs growing sporadically throughout (and aggressively at his roots) more noticeable. In combination with his permanent under eye bags, it aged him significantly.
“Hot!” Nicky finished the sentence before Kevin could. He cupped the sides of Aaron’s head and tugged his face into the ideal position to examine Aaron’s hair.
“You have a real silver-fox-lumberjack thing going on here.”
Kevin moved behind them to close the front door.
Aaron wished he’d shaved and gotten a haircut before he came.
“I am only 30, I can’t be a silver fox.” Aaron protested from where he was sandwiched in Nicky’s hands. The words came out muffled, but he didn’t squirm away. Nicky was one of the people here he thought about enough to miss.
“Recently 31.” Neil corrected. “Did we remember to wish you a happy birthday?” Neil was one of the people Aaron thought about enough to be thankful they didn’t have to live in the same state.
Nicky decided he was done manhandling his cousin’s head, and pulled him into a hug instead.
“Aaron, it's been forever!” Matt beckoned Aaron forward as soon as he’d been released from Nicky’s embrace, and through some magnetic force outside his own control, Aaron went.
“Missed you dude.” Matt pulled Aaron with one arm into the second hug he’d gotten that year. When they parted, Matt handed Aaron the glass he had in his hand. “You still like long island iced tea?”
Aaron nodded, letting himself be led through reintroductions, taking big gulps of his drink to replace the bile he felt rising in his throat be replaced with a more familiar burn.
“That jacket looks nice on you.” He tells Allison when the forces ushering him from person to person deposit him in front of her.
“Made it myself.” She sips her own drink, something in a fizzio glass.
“What material?” The light buzz of alcohol in his system makes him curious about it.
“Cashmere.” She raises an eyebrow at him.
“What did you end up going into?”
“Fashion design.” She shoots a mystified look at someone over Aaron’s shoulder.
“You were always very fashionable.” He said honestly.
Nicky got to the car first.
“No, no, no,” He whined. “What did they do to you, baby? What did- is that a dead animal? Oh, Jesus, Aaron, there’s a dead animal in our car. I’m going to be sick.”
Nicky’s hands shook where he held them to the car, perhaps magically willing the damage to disappear.
Aaron took a step closer and looked inside.
“Jesus fucking- Fuck.” He stepped back, hiding his nose in the scent-neutral space of his elbow ditch. It did almost nothing to cover the stench. His eyes darted directly to Neil. He doubted his expression was pleasant.
“You just had to open your mouth, didn’t you?” He spat.
“I’m sorry, I thought he’d come at me. I didn’t think you’d get caught up in it.” Aaron tore his eyes from where they’d unconsciously landed back on the wreckage of their car to glare at Neil.
“Right, Seth was a one-off then?” It was mean, and Aaron had noticed Allison coming over to them, but Aaron didn’t care. Their car was entirely destroyed, he made eye contact with an inhumanely dismantled furry critter in the backseat where he usually sat, the smell would be with him for weeks, and most importantly it was all Neil’s fault.
Neil’s mouth flapped open and closed a couple times, Allison was quickly approaching him, and he didn’t move to block her. A sharp smack was enough to make concentrating on maintaining balance a necessity. She wound up again as Aaron pressed a hand to his cheek and immediately regretted uncovering his nose.
Andrew was too fast for her though. By the time Aaron looked back at her she was subdued and kneeling on the ground. He turned away from the scuffle to spit out the blood that was idly filling his mouth from the cut made by his cheek being slammed into his teeth and him biting down in an attempt to tense his jaw for impact. He hated these people.
“You’re… different now.” Allison eyed him.
“Yeah.” Aaron said. Tacking on: “I’m sorry.”
Allison’s eyes widened.
“They teach bedside manner in med school.” It was a joke, but it sounded more like a confession.
“How many times did you have to retake the course?” She raised an eyebrow. It was a challenge.
“They graded on a curve.”
Allison smirked at him, she looked him up and down, finally accepting she was having a conversation with Aaron Minyard, one she shockingly was a willing participant in.
“Interesting outfit.”
“I'm still wearing my scrubs under this.” He tugged at the black hoodie Andrew had thrown at him in the car, it was 2 sizes too big.
“Gross.” Allison wrinkled her nose. She caught somebody’s eye behind Aaron again and shook her head, giving a thumbs up. Aaron looked and saw Dan mouth ‘ Are you sure?’
Aaron turned back to Allison and didn’t think about it too much.
“What is your professional opinion? Where is there room for improvement?” Aaron asked, holding his arms out to either side.
Allison smiled.
“This outfit lacks cohesion. The oversized black hoodie, while comfortable, feels too casual for the setting and does not elevate the overall look, on top of the length making you appear shorter.” She gestured to his lower half. “It doesn't complement the lighter-toned pants either. They seem to aim for a more polished aesthetic but fall flat due to the contrast.The choice of fabric and fit in the pants is also questionable; they appear too relaxed and don't provide a structured silhouette that would balance the bulkiness of the hoodie. They are also pooling around your feet and appear to be fraying and collecting dirt where they drag on the floor.”
Aaron grinned a little too wide and looked into his empty glass.
“I’m going to get another drink. Want anything?”
“I’m fine Aaron.” Allison dismissed him with a wave of her hand and immediately turned back to catch Dan’s attention again.
He found Kevin in the kitchen. He was pouring himself a glass of water.
With Allison it was different, she only knew the angry edges of who Aaron presented himself to be. He had the plausible deniability that she didn’t really know him back then, and it was obvious that the teen angst had been stripped away by now, he was better. Maybe Kevin knew him well enough to know that the teen angst wasn’t really covering up anything.
“Hey.” He said instead of thinking about it more.
“Hey.” Kevin said.
“Been a while.”
“Yeah.” Kevin’s gaze was intense.
Aaron opened a bottle on the counter and poured generously into the cup Matt gave him. He tilted the bottle towards Kevin.
“Don’t drink anymore.”
“Good for you,” Aaron smiled, raising his own cup in a toast. He drank the liquor without a mixer. Kevin just watched him.
“How’s Katelyn?” Kevin asked.
“Broke up 5 years ago,” Aaron looked confused. “Andrew didn’t tell you?”
“If I relied on Andrew to tell me things about your life I wouldn’t know if you were alive.”
Aaron wrinkled his nose. Ouch.
“She’s a molecular biologist at the Hassenfeld Children’s hospital.”
Kevin hummed in response. “Thea and I aren’t seeing each other anymore.”
“I know.” Aaron frowned. “Andrew told me.”
“Ah. You never called.” Fair observation, however disruptive to the flow of their conversation.
“It’s who I was then,” Aaron laughed and rubbed his face. “So angry and stoic and shit, so bored of everything. Angsty. I didn’t want to think about any fucked-up mafia ongoings or who I was during them, I just wanted to study and be normal.”
“When did it stop being like that?” Kevin sipped his water.
“Later than it was acceptable to start calling.”
“I would have picked up.” He said.
“I know.” It was honest. He did know. “I am nicer now.”
“I believe it.” Kevin said.
“I help people.”
“I know.”
“I feel everything I felt back then when I’m here.” Aaron mused, “I don’t know if I’m different than I was.”
As Kevin was opening his mouth, Aaron cut him off. “You didn’t get less attractive, it’s not fair.”
“Neither did you Aaron.”
“Liar.” He puffed his cheeks. “I look 47”
Kevin gave him an appreciative once-over that left an unsettling warm sensation in Aaron’s stomach.
“You look good.”
“Allison says this hoodie makes me look shorter.” Aaron deflected.
“You are short. And I’m 80% sure that’s my hoodie.”
Aaron felt tingling sensations in his extremities.
“Is it?”
“Was it in Andrew’s car?”
“Yes.”
“Yeah.”
Aaron moved to peel off the sweater.
“It’s fine, Aaron. Andrew and Neil steal my shit all the time.” He chuckled. It made Aaron’s heart ache.
Oh God.
“You haven’t changed much.” Aaron said, trying to get the conversation back in a non-revelatory direction. He was acutely aware that the warmth in his chest was related to the volume of alcohol he’d consumed. But a vocal section of his brain told him it was because of Kevin.
“I’m less anxious.” Kevin said.
“Nobody is out to get you anymore.”
“That’s true.”
Was what he was about to do advisable? Likely not. But in Aaron’s mind, the alcohol seemed like enough of an excuse should anything go awry.
“I want to kiss you.” Aaron said.
“Hrk.” Kevin choked a little. “What?”
“Please.” Aaron said softly. He didn’t move.
Neither did Kevin, who was looking at Aaron bewildered.
“Uhhh…” Kevin looked like he was rebooting. Aaron’s fight or flight response had caught up with his drunken decision making process. Flight, the answer was flight. Aaron was out of the kitchen before Kevin could formulate a response.
He was grateful the route to the front door was unobstructed, he fled without a single person in his way.
He hadn’t actually run in earnest for a long time, it felt nice. Oxygen burned its way into his lungs and his feet hit the pavement in rapid succession.
He swerved off the road onto a path he was sure Kevin wouldn’t remember from his runs 11 years ago.
Aaron found out too late that he also didn’t remember the path. On his 3rd turn the world was spinning and he found his memory curiously wiped of which way he’d turned to get there in the first place.
He debated calling Andrew, but what would he say? Nicky was the only other obvious choice.
He dialed the number.
“Aaron?” Nicky asked as soon as he picked up.
“I am in the woods.” Said Aaron.
“Aaron, why are you in the woods?” Aaron heard the hesitation in his voice.
“I got lost.”
“Erik, can you grab my coat?” Nicky said away from the microphone on his phone. “Which direction did you go from the house?”
“Left?”
“Andrew.” Nicky shouted.
“ Don'ttellAndrew.” Aaron hissed.
“Nevermind?” Nicky responded to a muffled voice on the other end of the line.
“I asked Kevin to kiss me.” Aaron mused, sitting down on a rock.
“You what?”
“Mhmm.” He became soul crushingly aware he was 31 years old, had just asked his old classmate to kiss him, and then ran off into the forest.
“We’ll talk about this when I find you in the forest.” Nicky said. “Thank you my love.” Aaron guessed Erik found his coat.
“Andrew is putting on his jacket, he’s coming too.” Nicky sounded guilty.
Aaron groaned and hung up, waiting to be rescued.
A swift kick to the ribs woke Aaron up, he curled in on himself and screamed.
“Andrew what the hell?” There was a dangerous look in Andrew’s eyes when Aaron met them.
“Fucking idiot.” Is all he said.